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Speaker 1: hope you guys enjoy this episode. Ella La, let's say,
Speaker 1: welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Mila and
Speaker 1: I'm Ediquita.
Speaker 2: Okay, can we do a whole episode in Spanish? Condo
Speaker 2: moy despasio, your competende mass impressive.
Speaker 1: You don't know I know Spanish? I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I know my Spanish. On the other hand, actually it's
Speaker 1: not bad. It's Justish is good, I know, but it
Speaker 1: could be better. I get nervous when I speak, start
Speaker 1: speaking around people that actually know how to speak, knows
Speaker 1: how to speak. She doesn't correct me though, why I'll
Speaker 1: be telling for like port for Luna espio. Wow.
Speaker 3: I feel like if you live in l A, you
Speaker 3: should know some Spanish.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's not true.
Speaker 3: Also, I'm recruiting, and then I had big plans that
Speaker 3: me and literally Spanish together, because that's been like my
Speaker 3: dream for a long time to be fluent.
Speaker 1: Clearly, I don't think I'm like a linguistics person. Someone's
Speaker 1: will wait, I's mom's friend's mom friends you, or I
Speaker 1: IRI's friend's mom told me about an app not dual Lingo,
Speaker 1: but a different one like Impressivo some.
Speaker 3: One that's really really to ask her, that's an ad bitch.
Speaker 3: We just gave impressive Evo impressed in calling all Latin
Speaker 3: men and women and women. I think I'm really back
Speaker 3: on my lesbianism.
Speaker 1: Are you always? Is that your door? And they were
Speaker 1: there texting and ship all own and ship No.
Speaker 3: But I have text my one of my ex a
Speaker 3: couple times. But I just feel like maybe I was
Speaker 3: more lesbian than I want to believe.
Speaker 1: You only had girlfriends? What do you mean you I did?
Speaker 1: I thought you were like a bona fide lesbo I was.
Speaker 3: I was lesbian, and I like buried it in the
Speaker 3: back of my mind because it was so much drama.
Speaker 3: But when I saw my ex lesbian girlfriend, I was like,
Speaker 3: I saw two lesbian girlfriends actually, and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, Okay.
Speaker 3: First of all, one loved me more than anyone who's
Speaker 3: ever loved me in my life, would do anything for me,
Speaker 3: buy me anything, make sure I'm straight. The other one
Speaker 3: she like, I was like laying there like my eyes closed,
Speaker 3: and she came and kissed me. Essentially, I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: you love me too.
Speaker 1: And then I didn't.
Speaker 3: Say this last episode, but our friend's friend, Carlton's friend,
Speaker 3: and I saw her at the after hours. First of all,
Speaker 3: Atlanta's the devil because you can find something to do
Speaker 3: in all hours. I literally was out. I looked at
Speaker 3: the clock. It was like five point fifty seven at pals.
Speaker 3: I was like, when does this shit close?
Speaker 1: And no close at six am. I think yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, it has to be close. I don't know how.
Speaker 1: I don't know how. He does me crazy.
Speaker 3: And as she was there with her husband or her boyfriend,
Speaker 3: but as I was leaving, same thing kind of with
Speaker 3: your lipstick situation, I was wearing like a black lipstick
Speaker 3: and as I was like, I'm like I'm leaving girl,
Speaker 3: and girl, huh, she made out with me deep and
Speaker 3: essentially and felt me up in five point fifty five
Speaker 3: am in the club and it was crowded still, which
Speaker 3: is crazy, and we had a very deep makeout and
Speaker 3: I was like, I think you have black stuff all
Speaker 3: over your face. I have black lipstick on and then
Speaker 3: she was like I don't care. M He's like okay,
Speaker 3: and her husband was like sitting right there like trying
Speaker 3: to get a little I was like, calm.
Speaker 1: Down, but it was good.
Speaker 3: And I was like, maybe something about the Atlanta water
Speaker 3: just make me lesbian.
Speaker 1: Mm. But I didn't spend enough time there, you did.
Speaker 1: I want to go back though. Somebody asked me how
Speaker 1: to did Erica like it?
Speaker 3: So she doesn't know for forty eight hours literally, and
Speaker 3: we panicked to forty seven of those hours.
Speaker 1: Seriously. Well, I just wanted to start off this episode
Speaker 1: with some sage because I feel like we need some saging.
Speaker 1: Today was a day as usual, but I'm grateful that
Speaker 1: we are now two weeks out of a show and
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm finally really decompressed. My birthday is
Speaker 1: in two days. Happy birthday, Thank you. And I'm turning
Speaker 1: thirty two, which I don't know feels good. I'm like
Speaker 1: chilling in thirties, like I'm good, Like I'm not stressed.
Speaker 1: Maybe ask me when I'm like turning thirty six to
Speaker 1: thirty seven. I've had different feelings about it. Just come down.
Speaker 1: Someone told me today, wow, you look really good for
Speaker 1: thirty two. I hate that shit. I feel I say that,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's some la shit. Don't say no
Speaker 1: to anyone under thirty listening. If don't tell a thirty
Speaker 1: person a person over thirty they look good for being
Speaker 1: in the thirties. Guess what when you turn thirty and
Speaker 1: you look exactly the same as you did when you
Speaker 1: were twenty five, I'd be like, what the fuck are
Speaker 1: you talking about? Like it's really not that deep. So
Speaker 1: many young bitches have told me that. I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I know you were in your thirties. Looks
Speaker 1: so good. He looks so young. I'm like, duh, I'm young.
Speaker 1: Look better than you, bitch. I actually do look better.
Speaker 1: I was looking at my face today and I was like,
Speaker 1: still snatched period. I was like, nope, no wrinkles, look
Speaker 1: a little more tired, got the dark circles maybe, but
Speaker 1: you know what gives me character? You know what? That's
Speaker 1: what conceler and beauty blenders are for. Period bomb bam,
Speaker 1: pick up your local pick up your beauty blender at
Speaker 1: your local Sephora yep, yeah, or at beauty blender dot com. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I I don't know. I love at Scorpio season,
Speaker 1: which you know as Scorpios another thing. Check out our
Speaker 1: patreon to see what that looks like. If you want
Speaker 1: to watch this episode, you want to check out Patreon.
Speaker 1: But yeh, Scorpio season is in full effect. Today's the
Speaker 1: first day of Scorpio season, and I will say, uh, Scorpios,
Speaker 1: we go hard for our birthdays, like it's an all
Speaker 1: month thing. Like we might not say it, but we're
Speaker 1: thinking it. Mkay. Birthdays are very important to us, even
Speaker 1: though we act like they're not. Like once the the
Speaker 1: day starts approaching, like it's gets to like day, like
Speaker 1: two days before the birthday, and there's no plans made.
Speaker 1: We're mad at everyone, but no one planned our shit,
Speaker 1: and then we take control. Okay, is that well you've
Speaker 1: been taking control of the situation. Well, I plan the
Speaker 1: ship like me so I'm going on a trip. I'm
Speaker 1: actually going to Tuloom tomorrow, which I've never been there. Uh,
Speaker 1: and I'm going with like three other birth scorpios. So
Speaker 1: it's my birthday, it's Ashley's birthday, It's NAS's birthday. It's
Speaker 1: I think that's it. Actually May maybe there's one more
Speaker 1: person's birthday. As you can tell, we take our birthdays
Speaker 1: very seriously. We like all plan a trip together about it.
Speaker 1: But actually this this trip. Normally when I go on
Speaker 1: these type of trips, I like have a schedule of
Speaker 1: like the things I want to hit. I have no
Speaker 1: idea what I want to do, and I'm kind of like, okay,
Speaker 1: maybe this is thirty two. Maybe I'm like chilling out
Speaker 1: a little more. When it comes to the B day festivities.
Speaker 1: I really just want to lay on a beach and float.
Speaker 1: That's really all real. Limb is very chill.
Speaker 3: There's the Aztec Ruins, which is close by Mayan ruins.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Mayan ruins all the same pyramids, Indigenous ruins. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I definitely want to try and go see them. Go
Speaker 1: maybe go to Chichinitza, which it's a city which is
Speaker 1: like I think it's about like an hour and a
Speaker 1: half to two hours outside of Tuloom, and then there's
Speaker 1: this and not this, which are like the caves. But
Speaker 1: right now it's raining a lot, so I'm hoping I mean,
Speaker 1: that it calms the fuck down so you can go.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I was just like reflecting on thirty one,
Speaker 1: and it's been like such a beer of intense uncomfortability,
Speaker 1: like really but uncomfortability, but also like feeling more secure
Speaker 1: in who I am, like more than ever, like not
Speaker 1: feeling I feel like just knowing, like what my purpose
Speaker 1: is more, what are you doing? What the fuck are
Speaker 1: you doing? I'm trying to see sleep. I think she is,
Speaker 1: Oh cute school. I know. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's a school done. Yeah, which we mean to talk
Speaker 1: about that too much. And it has been a month
Speaker 1: of wod you say? Uncomfortable uncomfortability like I think also
Speaker 1: just having this like us coming together weekly and talking
Speaker 1: really like forces us to like face things and check in,
Speaker 1: which is like something before this I didn't do, you know,
Speaker 1: like maybe I would, maybe I'd try to do it
Speaker 1: alone in my head, but actually vocalizing things and talking
Speaker 1: things through is just it's just different. So I think
Speaker 1: I just feel more confident than ever. I feel like
Speaker 1: this next thirty two for me is really just trusting
Speaker 1: my instincts. I feel like thirty one there was a
Speaker 1: lot of that, like me going against it and then
Speaker 1: like time and time again, the universe saying no, you
Speaker 1: were right. Follow that go with that, and also that
Speaker 1: like don't underestimate yourself, which I think like we have
Speaker 1: done a lot, and even in our podcast thinking that
Speaker 1: like well we can't, We're not. No one's gonna come,
Speaker 1: no one's gonna show up, no one's gonna buy a ticket,
Speaker 1: no one wants to pay to come like hang out
Speaker 1: and like see hear us, like talk our shit it.
Speaker 1: No one's gonna buy gift bags, no one's gonna like
Speaker 1: who's gonna follow us? You know why? Who's gonna show
Speaker 1: up at the meet up? Are we? Who the fuck
Speaker 1: are we? You know what we're talking about? What are
Speaker 1: we doing? Like even today, like what are we talking about?
Speaker 1: Like overthinking things and just like instead of just like Okay,
Speaker 1: we got this, I think thirty two it's gonna be
Speaker 1: more of that for me, like just like no, I
Speaker 1: got this right. I think even like when I when
Speaker 1: we started this, I felt really insecure about how much
Speaker 1: I could share and like what I was going to
Speaker 1: share and what I was going to talk about. And
Speaker 1: now I feel, more more than ever, like share whatever
Speaker 1: the fuck I want. It's too late, well that it's
Speaker 1: too late, but also like it's too late, but it's
Speaker 1: too late, but also like I've seen the results. I've
Speaker 1: seen the like what happens when you when people relate
Speaker 1: and you're honest, you can.
Speaker 3: Never go wrong when you're telling the truth. Like, what
Speaker 3: is something I gonna tell you you're wrong? No, Well that's
Speaker 3: what happens.
Speaker 1: Well, I think I've lived in a place of like
Speaker 1: fear of like disappointing family, disappointing people that are important
Speaker 1: to me, wanting to feeling like I had to like
Speaker 1: be a certain way to a appease them. And I'm
Speaker 1: I'm doing what I want to do and they're fine,
Speaker 1: They're okay, they're surviving. Whether or not I'm talking about
Speaker 1: dicks or mental health, it doesn't matter. I still, well,
Speaker 1: that's I say, No one's gonna no one's gonna disown you.
Speaker 1: Erica's I know. But it's like, but I think I
Speaker 1: just I've always I've always had I think disappointing. Disappointment
Speaker 1: is like something that I've that has like paralyzed me
Speaker 1: so much in my life. And I think this like
Speaker 1: the past year and a half two years, it's a
Speaker 1: culmination of things, not just this, but like you know,
Speaker 1: becoming a like just becoming a mother and like try
Speaker 1: like that journey of becoming a mother and feeling more confident,
Speaker 1: becoming more confident, just being a single person, like I've
Speaker 1: always been attached to someone, I've always been in a relationship,
Speaker 1: like figuring out who I am outside of that. Like
Speaker 1: all those things have kind of like made me kind
Speaker 1: of not give a fuck anymore. And I still I'm
Speaker 1: still unlearning things. There's still times where I like feel like,
Speaker 1: ooh should I can I H I don't know, but
Speaker 1: I just feel like thirty two is going to be
Speaker 1: a really pivotabal, pivotal, pivotal, pivotal year for me. And
Speaker 1: the pattern says so too, So it must be trip
Speaker 1: pattern knows everything. So it is true.
Speaker 3: It's funny because I don't think so much my issue
Speaker 3: is disappoining family as as it is so much that
Speaker 3: I think I get into my head about like how
Speaker 3: I come off with people that don't know me.
Speaker 1: I don't know why care about the people close to me.
Speaker 1: You're gonna disown me.
Speaker 3: I didn't think so, but even like saying I've come
Speaker 3: the same way like.
Speaker 1: Certain things.
Speaker 3: So I just realized a lot this year that like
Speaker 3: being comfortable in my skin and who I am as
Speaker 3: a person is.
Speaker 1: Like people are gonna like it or not like it.
Speaker 1: People are gonna always have some shit to say.
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, when I know
Speaker 3: like this is who I am and this is like
Speaker 3: my journey and my purpose, I care less slowly about
Speaker 3: people what people say, and just by talking to people,
Speaker 3: like I told you, I was talking to one of
Speaker 3: our friends and she was just like, you know, it's
Speaker 3: so crazy, like I'm constantly thinking about what other people
Speaker 3: are thinking. She's like, I'll probably leave here right now
Speaker 3: and be like does she like me? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm so happy you said that, because
Speaker 3: sometimes I feel the same way. I'm like, so in
Speaker 3: my head, hmmm, that was stupid. When I say that,
Speaker 3: then I'm like, bitch, nobody's even thinking about you but you.
Speaker 3: But her even saying that aloud to me was so
Speaker 3: such a big deal for me. I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 3: not crazy, Like, oh, this is what this is like
Speaker 3: the unlearning where the unlearning begins.
Speaker 1: And even with people who are close to me, that
Speaker 1: it bothers me when they.
Speaker 3: Don't agree or when they're like, you know, telling me
Speaker 3: something about myself that like, I feel like we don't
Speaker 3: have to discuss. I've realized that everybody's grown up differently
Speaker 3: and had different experiences and they're not going to understand
Speaker 3: yours and they're not supposed to, you know what I'm saying, Like.
Speaker 1: People project, that's what humans do.
Speaker 3: And if you're insecure and about your shit or about
Speaker 3: what other people think of you, me being overly honest
Speaker 3: about my shit is gonna make you uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: But that's not my problem.
Speaker 3: And usually, like my cancer will harbor some shit and
Speaker 3: I can like, sim shit will bother me and bother
Speaker 3: me and bother me and bother me, and I'll think
Speaker 3: about it and then I'm like Okay.
Speaker 1: Finally I'm like, Okay, well let me tell you how
Speaker 1: I feel.
Speaker 3: But it's just like I don't even I've noticed in myself,
Speaker 3: like there's a lot of things I still need to
Speaker 3: cultivate and grow because I still fuck up. But there's
Speaker 3: partying where I'm like, I see that I'm growing because
Speaker 3: there's things I'm like, I'm not taking this personally. I'm
Speaker 3: not going to I refuse to take this personally right now.
Speaker 1: And so I think that's even when I went to
Speaker 1: Atlanta and I was in Atlanta and I.
Speaker 3: Was like, damn, I was so stressed out while I
Speaker 3: was here, But I didn't have nothing to stress about,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like I was so young,
Speaker 3: Like I was here doing what I was supposed to
Speaker 3: be doing, fucking up.
Speaker 1: Making money, doing horseshit, fucking up. That's exactly what I
Speaker 1: was supposed to be doing in those twenties because I
Speaker 1: didn't go in college. I mean college was a floor,
Speaker 1: but I was like maybe going class I yeah, that
Speaker 1: was like ten percent. No, I get it, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'm like, So it reminds me now my early thirties,
Speaker 3: like you know, you got it under control and panic,
Speaker 3: but don't panic to the point where it like.
Speaker 1: Well, because you'll look back on the thirties and when
Speaker 1: you're a fifties and be like, why did I waste
Speaker 1: so much time? It's like that's I feel like that's
Speaker 1: the trend in life, and that's the one I don't want.
Speaker 1: That's the one thing I hear consistently that I don't want,
Speaker 1: you know. I like even thinking back, Like I think
Speaker 1: back too, Like I feel like when you know, when
Speaker 1: I was like young too, Like I was always so
Speaker 1: worried about like how I looked like my body, And
Speaker 1: then I look back on pictures and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck was I talking about? It was fine, it
Speaker 1: was fine, and I and but thank god, Like I've
Speaker 1: done a lot of work on myself now where like
Speaker 1: I like even now like I'm I'm in a place
Speaker 1: in my body where like I feel like I'm not
Speaker 1: in the best shape. I notice things, but I love
Speaker 1: myself more. And that's a big deal for me because
Speaker 1: like for me, that's always been an issue. But like
Speaker 1: looking back, it's always like that looking back, like what
Speaker 1: was I worried about? Like even like I think about
Speaker 1: when I was like fourteen and thinking like, wow, thirty
Speaker 1: is really grown. I better have. I'm gonna have all
Speaker 1: my shit together, I'm gonna own a home, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be two. I'm like, you know, yeah, five kids. I'm
Speaker 1: like basically I'm dying you'll be dying, You'll be you'll
Speaker 1: basically almost to the great every child I was dead.
Speaker 3: So, like, I really thought thirty was so old. I
Speaker 3: remember my aunt, my favorite aunt, turning thirty two, and
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 1: Like, what, you're how old? Right?
Speaker 3: Crazy? And now like my therapist she's I guess.
Speaker 1: She's like forty. How's that going. I've been going stuff.
Speaker 3: Well I've been out of town because I was duction,
Speaker 3: but I think she's forty six. She's like, you're so young.
Speaker 3: She's like, you're so young, you're so young. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm like maybe I should believe it. Yeah, don't say
Speaker 3: I don't be offended.
Speaker 1: So I'm twenty, right, So sometimes we can be offend.
Speaker 1: We're offended if people think we're too old, then we're
Speaker 1: offended people think we're too young. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm not offended because I know I'm not like not offended,
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, like okay, like you know, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like come down. Okay.
Speaker 3: So when I was in Atlanta, went out with my
Speaker 3: ex girlfriend, who I haven't talked to in a long
Speaker 3: time because she kind of reminded me. She stocked me
Speaker 3: at the end, which was true. I think she's grown
Speaker 3: a lot, which is good. But we went out okay,
Speaker 3: we went out with two of her co workers.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: First night, we went out with one of her coworkers
Speaker 3: and one of my girlfriends who's also like a steadily lesbian,
Speaker 3: and they were fine.
Speaker 1: We went to a star bar. We had a great time.
Speaker 1: We danced disco, my favorite thing. Yeah, a star bars.
Speaker 1: You mentioned that last time. It's like famous.
Speaker 3: The second night, went to MJQ and she came with
Speaker 3: this other girl from her job, and the other girl
Speaker 3: like started a scene in the parking lot. I was like, well,
Speaker 3: what's wrassling a scene in a parla?
Speaker 1: So what's wrong with her?
Speaker 3: And later she's like, well, she was upset because I
Speaker 3: was flirted because we know, we were like, you know,
Speaker 3: like they might have made out a little bit in
Speaker 3: the club or whatever, and the girl was like freaking
Speaker 3: out in the parking lot.
Speaker 1: And I was like never ever. I was like, how
Speaker 1: old is she? She's like twenty nine. I'm like that's insane.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I've never been crazy like that.
Speaker 3: I can't like, I've never been like stupid in my twenties.
Speaker 3: I've always been a pretty mature person. I have an
Speaker 3: old soul. So sometimes like when people say like, oh,
Speaker 3: you're so young, you're so young, I'm like, Okay, calm down,
Speaker 3: because I know I've been here a lot of times before.
Speaker 3: There's certain things I just wouldn't I've don dumb shit,
Speaker 3: but there's anything that just wouldn't do, Like my ego
Speaker 3: won't allow it.
Speaker 1: My pride.
Speaker 3: And I see some twenties and I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: you're so green, and.
Speaker 1: You can be forty in act that way.
Speaker 3: That's true, and that's you could be forty and act
Speaker 3: like a crazy bitch.
Speaker 1: Don't get that age. Age is twisted. Yeah, that's true,
Speaker 1: that's true. It's just a level. Yeah. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's understanding self that piece. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of the reasons I don't freak out is because I
Speaker 1: really value my inner I already struggle enough to like
Speaker 1: maintain inner peace when I'm when there's nothing happening, Like
Speaker 1: I don't need to like make it worse. Right, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to see I'm not about to let you
Speaker 1: make me crazy, you know. Like, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: I've I've definitely seen moments of my from like who
Speaker 1: the fuck was that like violent ass moments like not
Speaker 1: for throwing shit, crazy psycho shit. But for the most part,
Speaker 1: I can keep it together. But like sometimes you need
Speaker 1: those moments though too. Those moments are necessary. Sometimes some
Speaker 1: of those moments I have felt like the most like
Speaker 1: that was the only way to release at that time.
Speaker 1: I needed to throw that shit. Like that's why I'm
Speaker 1: like you think like I want, like I want to
Speaker 1: go to one of those like breakrooms, because I'm telling
Speaker 1: you there's some shit in there. Meet up, there's some shit.
Speaker 1: We should get a group price for a group good
Speaker 1: mom we should no for real, because there's ship that
Speaker 1: you don't even realize you need to, like in order
Speaker 1: to release it, you need to be physical. You can't
Speaker 1: always just breathe everything out or like work out everything out,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's just you have to be physical. And
Speaker 1: like Viole, there's a beauty in violence. I know that
Speaker 1: sounds creepy, but like, no, there is, but not I
Speaker 1: don't know. That's it's kind of scary. There's beauty and violence, but.
Speaker 3: No, let's talk about that. I want to talk about polarity.
Speaker 3: I want to talk about balance. I want to talk
Speaker 3: about that, Like there's something slightly intriguing and beautiful about
Speaker 3: darkness about like I don't know, like creepy things.
Speaker 1: What is Halloween? Yeah, it's Halloween music, Happy Halloween, Happy,
Speaker 1: happy Halloween. But people don't discuss that enough.
Speaker 3: And I think that's where like religion irritates me, because
Speaker 3: everybody knows what's considered bad is actually to indulge in.
Speaker 3: It is actually like nourishing to the soul and feels good.
Speaker 3: And if it feels good naturally, then can it really
Speaker 3: be that bad?
Speaker 1: Calm down?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm for the sociopaths, like like you're talking about scorpio,
Speaker 3: I can get dark, Okay, I'm thinking of the darkes.
Speaker 1: So if I voodoo, this is karma right now, what
Speaker 1: I mean? Let me calm down. No, but that's the cancer.
Speaker 1: And you're like, why did he do that? What happened
Speaker 1: to him? No, for sure, there's why it happened to
Speaker 1: him and his child. We could have caught that right
Speaker 1: here in this hugged more.
Speaker 3: Six years old, Johnny didn't get played with in the schoolyard, and.
Speaker 1: Only I had been there and I was his first
Speaker 1: grade teacher. I really feel that way, Eric, I know
Speaker 1: you do. That's why I know everyone from and I
Speaker 1: feel that way in ways, but then there's other ways
Speaker 1: where I'm like, no, some people are just fucked up.
Speaker 1: What I mean is like sometimes it's from the beginning.
Speaker 3: Fun to do irresponsible things. Absolutely, sacrifice pigeons.
Speaker 1: We all know you'd like to sacrifice pigeons. I didn't once.
Speaker 1: Calm down. If you haven't heard about the sacrifice of
Speaker 1: the pigeons, Oh my god, he does gonna come for us.
Speaker 1: They haven't yet. Check out you sacrifice to what? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, there's vegans listening. Relaxed. I'm also vegetarian. I
Speaker 1: don't condone this message. And she is not a vegetarian,
Speaker 1: and neither of my Let's be honest. Okay, let's be clear.
Speaker 3: It was for spiritual purpose, much larger than just simple
Speaker 3: food intake.
Speaker 1: Did you eat it? No? Like I didn't do that part. No,
Speaker 1: are you crazy? I thought maybe you has like become
Speaker 1: one with it and eat it or something.
Speaker 3: I heard of people like licking the butt, looking the butt.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, but I haven't. But I've heard people. Okay,
Speaker 3: we're getting topic, we're not even sure of getting somewhere.
Speaker 3: Got high and then I got okay, yeah, hilarity anyway
Speaker 3: to no, no no.
Speaker 1: I've always been intrigued by darkness, Like I think even
Speaker 1: as a child, I've always loved horror films, even like
Speaker 1: from a very very young age. I think my dad, actually,
Speaker 1: my dad is kind of the one that like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, made it okay since you told me that story,
Speaker 1: like made it oka hey, and not like why are
Speaker 1: you doing that?
Speaker 3: Don't do that or like, which is really interesting to
Speaker 3: me because he's his family and he's pretty Christian.
Speaker 1: Well his sister's voodoo and I say his sisters because
Speaker 1: I don't not relate it to them, not my blood
Speaker 1: or anything. I mean some people, like you said, people
Speaker 1: pass through people, and that's doesn't mean that you're related
Speaker 1: to them. What did they say? They passed through people
Speaker 1: like when you give birth to a child. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just because someone gave birth to them along the way.
Speaker 1: And then I also appeared at some point. That does
Speaker 1: not mean relate. I mean it's also just coming through people.
Speaker 1: So but it's true. Yeah, but yeah, my dad kind
Speaker 1: of like was the one that, like because he likes
Speaker 1: he likes horror in that way, like it's more like
Speaker 1: silly horror films like practice he's a jokester, like he
Speaker 1: would always do like these really scary mean jokes to
Speaker 1: like me and my friends, but like low key, like
Speaker 1: we were so young, you know, but I now you're
Speaker 1: like that was kind of me. Yeah, that was me too.
Speaker 1: It's like the cemetery thing, you know, like that's kind
Speaker 1: of like traumatizing.
Speaker 3: I know my dad would be really traumatizing things to
Speaker 3: me too, And then I can't hurry pee because I
Speaker 3: know people are gonna be like that's crazy.
Speaker 1: He would always put like and he would put like
Speaker 1: bugs in our like beds that real budd but like
Speaker 1: really real looking ones all the time, and and like
Speaker 1: just do just come down, just scarce he'd just be
Speaker 1: bored in his house. Actually thinking about that, like as
Speaker 1: a parent now like imagining me like just like this,
Speaker 1: I'm not to go fuck with that kids, Like that's
Speaker 1: actually hilarious. He actually put a fucking mask on his
Speaker 1: head to come down. My dad would do that, but
Speaker 1: he's done it. Just Actually I feel like our dads
Speaker 1: are like similar in ways. But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think also I think what is darkness exactly? To
Speaker 1: like who decided that it's darkness? Because I think also
Speaker 1: there's so many you can just how if you you
Speaker 1: can even get racial with it, how even like dark
Speaker 1: darkness is scary, spooky, the scary spooky, but like we're
Speaker 1: not going to go there tonight. We're not going to
Speaker 1: go there tonight. But like I'm just saying like that,
Speaker 1: why does darkness hold is such a negative connotation? If anything,
Speaker 1: that's where life is created.
Speaker 3: Well, I think that's where that's where the misconception is
Speaker 3: like perpetuated.
Speaker 1: And that's right, there's so much beauty in darkness because
Speaker 1: literally that's where it's that's conception. It's in a dark womb.
Speaker 1: It's it's not in the light, you know, and it
Speaker 1: grows in the darkness. And there's and the duality is
Speaker 1: that they're both beautiful, but for some reason one has
Speaker 1: taken person like one sterio. Like literally I could say
Speaker 1: if I was the first person to ever say rapists
Speaker 1: are white, like not white people, but like that's or
Speaker 1: like yeah, the darkness is white, white and pure.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, if it's just overall it what it proves
Speaker 3: is that it's just a balance and one would not
Speaker 3: be without the other. And there's not a negative or
Speaker 3: positive connotation, and that negative is not even really negative because.
Speaker 1: I don't even know why it's like because it doesn't.
Speaker 3: But remember in math, isn't like negative plus negative egos
Speaker 3: are positive, do you remember them? And like a negative
Speaker 3: pluzz a positive equals and negative. Yeah, but something batter operation.
Speaker 3: It is a bad thing negative negative negative equals negative? Right?
Speaker 1: How are we doing math all time? How we get
Speaker 1: I'm fit? If you do one more.
Speaker 3: Equation here you are totally agreeing with things like mm
Speaker 3: hmm yeah negative.
Speaker 1: My god. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know where you were
Speaker 1: going with that. The dualities, the polarity duality, it's a balance.
Speaker 3: We need both and need to indulge in both, and
Speaker 3: need to indulge in all aspects of yourself just to
Speaker 3: be one.
Speaker 1: I think that core. We all want embrace it in
Speaker 1: our way. Everyone celebrates Halloween sto. Halloween is literally the
Speaker 1: celebration of the dead. Dead is usually what people would come.
Speaker 1: It would put that under the umbrella of darkness, right,
Speaker 1: like you're dead, we all die. I know, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, for some reason, Halloween gives people permission to
Speaker 1: celebrate darkness, where every other day of the month it's
Speaker 1: to consider this negative thing. Why don't. We we don't
Speaker 1: want to go to we don't want to know a funeral.
Speaker 1: We don't want to talk about death. We don't want
Speaker 1: to like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, speaking of that, Letta said something about my mom's
Speaker 3: mom dying. I was like, oh, she's dead, and she
Speaker 3: said you're going to die and I said, yeah, I
Speaker 3: am going to die.
Speaker 1: She's like, no, don't say that. That's gonna get me sad.
Speaker 1: I said, it's really sad. But it's not sad because
Speaker 1: we all are going to die. Wait, hopefully there's well
Speaker 1: I mean, I said, it's okay. I said, it's actually life.
Speaker 1: It's a cycle.
Speaker 3: And I said, I said, okay, that's that part I
Speaker 3: was and I said and I said, and I said,
Speaker 3: and we never really die.
Speaker 1: I said, our bodies die. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: just how we are right now. I said, but then
Speaker 1: we go to the next dimension.
Speaker 3: And I said, because our souls are forever, We're always
Speaker 3: going to be together no matter what form it takes.
Speaker 1: You know, But that's really how I feel. I don't
Speaker 1: I'm not. I mean, I guess I'm afraid of death,
Speaker 1: but like I'm not afraid of death, but no, I
Speaker 1: thought you were just ending at we're all gonna die anyway, honey,
Speaker 1: what's for dinner? So is that too dark for my
Speaker 1: ford to be honest? Irie has said like she's never
Speaker 1: asked me if I'm gonna die, but she'd be like,
Speaker 1: like even the way she handled like my dog's death
Speaker 1: was so like, I don't think she fully understands, like
Speaker 1: I think she I don't know. I don't know, or
Speaker 1: she internalizes it. I'm not sure. I don't. She even
Speaker 1: said like Flora's mom is dead, and I was like,
Speaker 1: at the first time I ever heard her even say
Speaker 1: the word dead, And at first it was like jarring
Speaker 1: when I heard that word come from her little mouth,
Speaker 1: I was like, dead, what, Relax, calm down, who's dead?
Speaker 1: Like it's like it's it's like, well, no, it's true.
Speaker 1: And I didn't. Yeah, but it's just hearing them or
Speaker 1: seeing her reaction to it and her experience to it
Speaker 1: is interesting and I don't want to have a part
Speaker 1: in shaping it, you know, but I also like want
Speaker 1: to guide her, you know, not have her fear like
Speaker 1: it's a transition.
Speaker 3: Really it's a transition, and no one's really sure what's
Speaker 3: on the other side.
Speaker 1: But we're sure that it keeps going. That's true, you know,
Speaker 1: because if you like, I don't know, But when it's close,
Speaker 1: it's so much different. As I was saying it, I
Speaker 1: was like, you should calm down. When it's closed, it's
Speaker 1: so much more painful, and it's harder to even wrap
Speaker 1: your head around even understanding that, even if you understand that, right, right,
Speaker 1: even Yeah, for sure, for.
Speaker 3: Sure, I've had like a bottle of one.
Speaker 1: I have been starving myself for three juice cleanse. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not starving myself, guys. After I talked about my
Speaker 1: body issues, like and I've been starving. I'm going to
Speaker 1: Mexico to masks.
Speaker 3: I've only had fourteen juices since Sunday, which is true.
Speaker 1: I've also eaten vegetables yam. But I just felt like
Speaker 1: I needed to detox before my birthday. Bro. I've been
Speaker 1: like just drinking and eating and stressing, and I just
Speaker 1: felt heavy, like not even like like just bloated. My
Speaker 1: insides were aching, that's what happens. They were they were
Speaker 1: like my inside start like feeling like inflamed. Does that
Speaker 1: ever happen? Like your stomach just feels I just know
Speaker 1: what my body is like, Okay, it's not like a
Speaker 1: stomach ache. It literally feels like burning. I don't know
Speaker 1: that's the sound to me finishing the bottle of wine.
Speaker 1: You sure did finish that bottle wine. Definitely had a
Speaker 1: glass and two glasses. Okay, let's be clear. What are
Speaker 1: you gonna be for Halloween? More? Titia? All right? Are
Speaker 1: we both being more? Did you give it? Did you
Speaker 1: give me that idea?
Speaker 3: Or did we just like has been wanting to be
Speaker 3: Wednesday because she's no, but like I did it for.
Speaker 1: Work too, and I told you I was I need
Speaker 1: to watch this, but then I didn't. But then I
Speaker 1: was like, I gave this idea. Okay, maybe we're all
Speaker 1: going to be You're gonna be. Yeah, well Ione wants
Speaker 1: to be this wonder woman, so I could be wonder
Speaker 1: woman with her.
Speaker 3: I mean, it doesn't really matter. I don't really care
Speaker 3: how many mortities there are trick or treating? Are we
Speaker 3: gonna go to that popin block again? Because I need
Speaker 3: a uber?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to figure that out. It's a pop
Speaker 1: and block, the pop and Halloween block? Are we going
Speaker 1: to uber? What it was? So? Actually I know where
Speaker 1: we could part. Actually, if you're just tuning in. You
Speaker 1: should know me and Jamila, our Valley girls. We are
Speaker 1: straight from the eight one eight. Don't hate. This is
Speaker 1: how we talk.
Speaker 3: We've gotten a lot of what do they call us,
Speaker 3: something fry, white black girl, black girl, fry, black girl
Speaker 3: voice fry or something. I don't know what the fuck
Speaker 3: that means. I still don't really get it. But this
Speaker 3: is just how we talk. It's our dialect, my accent,
Speaker 3: it's my accent.
Speaker 1: Do you have your Ma tistera dress already? I have
Speaker 1: a dress. How many movies do you have? Do you
Speaker 1: have another black? I only have one. I actually have one. No,
Speaker 1: it's not dark enough. I need to get black. But Amazon,
Speaker 1: it's like ten dollars. This is not an ad. I
Speaker 1: don't even know if I don't think we support Amazon,
Speaker 1: but clearly we do. Oh Luna started school today. Oh
Speaker 1: oh she was awake. I know. Oh my god, that
Speaker 1: video you posted, I literally was like crying. I saw.
Speaker 1: I was crying for you because I know that feeling.
Speaker 1: And then it's just like overwhelming. And also it took
Speaker 1: so long and much to get there. I know. It
Speaker 1: was like finally, it's like a relief.
Speaker 3: So yeah, so I took a really long time putting
Speaker 3: Luna in school, partially because I procrastinate, but because I
Speaker 3: didn't want to get her vaccinated, and they just passed
Speaker 3: along in LA where it's required like you can't be
Speaker 3: medically exempt, and then what I wanted to go to
Speaker 3: medically exempt. First there was like only a doctor in
Speaker 3: San Francisco, and then there was one here, but he
Speaker 3: was like X amount of dollars, and then the black
Speaker 3: midwife showed up to the Black midwife referred me to
Speaker 3: a doctor in OHI, and you know he is like
Speaker 3: an MD but also an urbalist and so you know
Speaker 3: we're gonna do it through him. But he was able
Speaker 3: to give me a medical exemption until the apployment next
Speaker 3: year because he's obviously booked. And then so I got
Speaker 3: her in school, she get blood work, should go the
Speaker 3: fucking dentist, she'd get all this shit, and finally it
Speaker 3: happened and it's it's literally basically November, so she's miss
Speaker 3: a shit tone.
Speaker 1: We need to post the video on you need did
Speaker 1: Everyone needs to watch this video. It's so sweet of
Speaker 1: her in school and then Jamila crying because you're gonna cry, Well,
Speaker 1: she's going to the school that I went to. She
Speaker 1: has the same teacher that I had in kindergarten. Shut up,
Speaker 1: she's still there. No, she does not have the same teacher.
Speaker 1: She has my same teacher. What the that's why you
Speaker 1: were crying? Wait too, fad, she was so much too.
Speaker 1: She has the same fucking what's her name? Miss Specter?
Speaker 1: The fuck? Miss Specter's still there? Inspector is still there?
Speaker 1: Did she remember you? I don't think she remember me.
Speaker 1: I mean literally, it was like.
Speaker 3: I don't remember one of like five hundred kids right
Speaker 3: fucking wait twenty twenty five years ago?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. So yeah, it was a special and
Speaker 1: it was just special because Miss Spector seems still like
Speaker 1: she likes her job. She does. She still seems pretty vibrant.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna hold you. There's a lot of kids
Speaker 1: in there. I feel like to count those kids. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I was happy. It's a good school.
Speaker 3: So it's just just so fucking much of a process,
Speaker 3: and I'm just like, really thankful I don't have the
Speaker 3: homeschool because I don't think I was like capable.
Speaker 1: Honestly, who is capable? People? I don't know how know
Speaker 1: you that's all you're doing. I can't even figure out
Speaker 1: how to explain why C. You can make like, I
Speaker 1: know how explain that? How? Who taught me?
Speaker 3: I need to find you because this language is dumb
Speaker 3: as fun.
Speaker 1: Wait. Today I was learning the letter J and she
Speaker 1: was like. I was like, name all things with. She's
Speaker 1: like jelly, jump, rope, gel, and I was like, gel
Speaker 1: doesn't start with. She's like why. I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't don't, I don't have I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I'm like just gel. At this point, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know it's called gel. I don't care gell
Speaker 1: until someone explains to you why it's gel. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you why.
Speaker 3: Because whoever made up the English language made a mayor
Speaker 3: and they were like, you know what, it's all gonna
Speaker 3: be some function, nothing's gonna make sense.
Speaker 1: So we'll make the language make.
Speaker 3: No sense to just to set everybody all the way off.
Speaker 3: No will ask any questions. But Ellen couldn't make there
Speaker 3: be three theres. Make it be this trick where it's
Speaker 3: like I free except after C, because that's super necessary
Speaker 3: when you're tricking masses of people.
Speaker 1: And everybody just went with it. And here we are
Speaker 1: not even able to homeschool. We gotta drop them off
Speaker 1: because who the fuck can explain that ship? And I
Speaker 1: don't want you, so thank God for school ship. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's so true though, that's so true that because we're
Speaker 1: not we're in that place right now where like I'm like, wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: why is there an Ellen couldn't? God damn it, why
Speaker 1: is there an Ellen couldn't for what wouldn't why it'd
Speaker 1: be nice? Wouldn't it be nice if the ship made
Speaker 1: some sense? Oh my god? And I feel like also,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, she's gonna know I'm not
Speaker 1: that smart. One day. She's gonna come home and she's
Speaker 1: gonna ask me some important shit I should know. And
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have the answers consistently. Go back to school,
Speaker 1: I know. I was like, I need to read some
Speaker 1: books more often. I need to read some mystory books,
Speaker 1: like real one, actual history books.
Speaker 3: History is gonna come and then I'll be like, no,
Speaker 3: none of this ship is true.
Speaker 1: This is all not true. Take the book back. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, the whole nother problematic situation. Oh my gosh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I guess that's their job is to make
Speaker 1: us feel inadequate so then we do better that's literally
Speaker 1: the job of a child to make you do better,
Speaker 1: to make you feel inadequate, so that you do better,
Speaker 1: you become a better person. That's that's essentially what it is.
Speaker 1: Because I am a better person because her, because I
Speaker 1: felt like I needed to be because I wasn't I
Speaker 1: could be better, right, you know? I have like mom guild,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna miss her. I feel like really like I
Speaker 1: want to go, and I'm excited to go, but then
Speaker 1: I also feel like this, like who'll release it? I know,
Speaker 1: but I also I haven't seen her though, and I
Speaker 1: just have this.
Speaker 3: Like, Okay, what do you think eighteen times three hundred
Speaker 3: and sixty five is?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I've got a lot. I know
Speaker 1: you're not gone. It's a lot of I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think. I just feel like I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: I think you're gone for chunks long time, like two
Speaker 3: weeks at a time a lot, or like three weeks
Speaker 3: at a time, and so it feels like a lot,
Speaker 3: and then you're here, but like because it's like sometimes
Speaker 3: long period more longer than you'd like, it feels like
Speaker 3: more time because it's chunks.
Speaker 1: I just want to miss out on these moments. I
Speaker 1: think that's more so what it is because I know
Speaker 1: they don't last forever, so like I want to experience
Speaker 1: them also. To be honest, I have a terrible memory,
Speaker 1: which literally scares me sometimes, like my memory that I
Speaker 1: worry I won't remember these moments, and so that's why
Speaker 1: it's so important for me to be so try to
Speaker 1: be as present as I can. And that's scary for
Speaker 1: me to admit, because like that's something I say. I
Speaker 1: think about a lot. I'm like, wow, there's like chunks
Speaker 1: of my life that I don't remember, and people will
Speaker 1: be like, do you don't remember blah blah blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and this is something like no, or they seem like
Speaker 1: a faint memory. And I think that's why I also
Speaker 1: have deja vous a lot, because they're actually just memories
Speaker 1: popping back back in my head. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm like, is it because I spoke? Because I spoke
Speaker 1: too much a weed at a young age. It's true,
Speaker 1: advocate at I is it true? Yeah? I was right,
Speaker 1: calm down, Yeah, But I think that I think about
Speaker 1: that too. I think about just I love I love
Speaker 1: being with her, and then sometimes I'm like I can't
Speaker 1: wait to get away from her, No, for sure, but
Speaker 1: then I and then but then I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: but this is you're you're the coolest human ever, so
Speaker 1: cool rights fucking coolest human ever. Like yeah, it's insane,
Speaker 1: but yeah.
Speaker 3: Damn isn't it even even cooler that our kids will
Speaker 3: require us to be more present?
Speaker 1: That's a big gift.
Speaker 3: So so yeah, I know, sometimes you just look at
Speaker 3: her face and I'm like, yeah, I don't like, I
Speaker 3: don't like to take a lot of pictures all the time.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, am I gonna miss out because I'm
Speaker 3: not always taking pictures? And I'm like, just take it
Speaker 3: in right now.
Speaker 1: You know, like just.
Speaker 3: Really yeah, because they're never gonna be this size and
Speaker 3: this age.
Speaker 1: Again, it's just like and it just keeps going, just
Speaker 1: like life. Mm hmm. Then it's crazy old. Yeah there,
Speaker 1: then you're dead. Then you're dead that you brought that
Speaker 1: right back around it just like I talked about, do
Speaker 1: you know that how long do you think I would
Speaker 1: have had to have these altoids for them to have expired?
Speaker 1: Ten years? Like I swear I just bought this. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: This is a really awesome joint holder holder. I never
Speaker 1: knew that, but you know what, I knew it wasn't
Speaker 1: altoids in that box. You didn't say it was in
Speaker 1: that box.
Speaker 3: And I was like, she said she had weed and
Speaker 3: I never seen altoys before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you ever need like a cool weed box,
Speaker 1: just get your altoids box. What's happening over there? What
Speaker 1: is that is that you? That was you? Okay? I
Speaker 1: thought that was some him At first. I was like,
Speaker 1: what is that position that he's saying? No, I think
Speaker 1: I've seen that one. You're old, You're all old. This
Speaker 1: is the Oh that is the mold. That is the mold. Yeah. Oops,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. It's not a secret that King Noir
Speaker 1: sends him as his porns. I think he sends them
Speaker 1: to multiple women. And I'm pretty sure we're not the
Speaker 1: only women. Oh No, for sure, that King Noir the
Speaker 1: porn star is sending his porns too true.
Speaker 3: I wish it's over here reviewing them while we're recording.
Speaker 1: I mean, damn, God, damn god.
Speaker 3: It looks like God was like God literally said, here
Speaker 3: you go, here's the perfect dick.
Speaker 1: It's literally wow, it really is. It almost looks fake.
Speaker 1: It looks like an attachment. Speaking of attachments, he has
Speaker 1: one for sale. HM, sure does, and I'm saying I
Speaker 1: think it's probably worth the purchase.
Speaker 3: I mean, better than the Safari one that we recommended
Speaker 3: last year.
Speaker 1: This you need. I'm getting this attached. I'm about to
Speaker 1: fuck King Noir. I'm about to fuck him with his attachment.
Speaker 1: Were you gonna put the little does he know we've
Speaker 1: already fucked? Where are you going? Suction it? I can
Speaker 1: suction it to the bathroom and in the bathtub.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like the frog position.
Speaker 1: Or just like against the wall, like the in the shower,
Speaker 1: like in the docky style, like oh yeah, in order
Speaker 1: to see all these moves happening right now that Jamila
Speaker 1: is doing okay, like these are top not I feel
Speaker 1: like you'd have to like reachest it so many, so
Speaker 1: many times, just because there's nothing like the real thing
Speaker 1: with motion. But you can make it work. I mean
Speaker 1: with this situation here, which I will make that work.
Speaker 1: It's nice. It's more than nice. We posted about that today.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, go follow a King Noir and you can
Speaker 1: at the end and make sure if you want to see,
Speaker 1: if you literally want to see the world's perfect most
Speaker 1: perfect penis pretty much.
Speaker 3: Then he has an account only fans and fans only
Speaker 3: only fans I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, and fetish royal fetish films. I wish we could
Speaker 1: do a swipe up on the podcast, like swipe to buy. Actually,
Speaker 1: we're going to include the link to his sex piece
Speaker 1: in our description of this episode, because it's very you
Speaker 1: will not be disappointed. Like, actually, pause the episode right
Speaker 1: now because goddamn, goddamn. Okay, that was distracting. I have
Speaker 1: to pack.
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh, we have an advice question.
Speaker 1: This advice question pissed me. Oh no, this is okay,
Speaker 1: we have one in our DM this one email. Let's
Speaker 1: do this one first. Okay, this advice question pissed me off.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. In a while, Basic Betty again, Hi ladies.
Speaker 1: It's been a while since I first wrote to you
Speaker 1: guys about my basic ass sex life, so I thought
Speaker 1: i'd set an update since the last time I wrote
Speaker 1: in My job moved me to tod we go to
Speaker 1: can't read my job moved me to DC, and I
Speaker 1: decided to use that opportunity to explore my sexuality with
Speaker 1: hopes of becoming a little more fatianic. For a bit,
Speaker 1: I met a guy, literally the guy of my dreams,
Speaker 1: or so I thought, and we started dating and eventually
Speaker 1: had sex. It was literally the best sex of my life,
Speaker 1: and I finally had orgasms. Life was on the up
Speaker 1: and up. I was getting great consistent Dick, got promoted
Speaker 1: at work, and I was in a healthy relationship. Things
Speaker 1: changed when my guy decided it was time for us
Speaker 1: to look at wedding rings. He is thirty six, a
Speaker 1: doctor and was ready for commitment with me, or so
Speaker 1: he said. We talked about it and it seemed like
Speaker 1: we were on the same page until one day he
Speaker 1: stopped talking to me for two days and then posted
Speaker 1: a photo of him and another woman. She turned out
Speaker 1: to be his wife. I later found out through digging
Speaker 1: that he lied to me about being single and apparently
Speaker 1: was married the entire time. We dated for about a year,
Speaker 1: and he just celebrated his two year anniversary. He archived
Speaker 1: old photos of them on ig and had not one
Speaker 1: single tweet about a wife, wedding, or fiance. I visited
Speaker 1: his home several times, even pop ups, and there was
Speaker 1: no trace of a woman that lived there. I later
Speaker 1: found out they lived in separate states up until a
Speaker 1: few months ago, around the same time. He ghosted me,
Speaker 1: and I've been so upset. When he finally reached out,
Speaker 1: it was to tell me to watch how I communicate
Speaker 1: with him because his life is different. Mind Joy never
Speaker 1: contacted him after finding out about his wife. I'm not
Speaker 1: the type. I'm not the type to knowingly disprespect another
Speaker 1: woman like that. When I asked him why he would
Speaker 1: play me, play with my emotions, he told me he
Speaker 1: was in love with me, but I didn't match his
Speaker 1: I didn't match the aesthetic he wanted to build for
Speaker 1: his life. He said he would never date me pub
Speaker 1: because of my weight, and that he met his wife
Speaker 1: back in med school and they look better together than
Speaker 1: we would. I blocked him, and I've tried my best
Speaker 1: to move on. Girl. Okay, there's a little more. There's more. Yes,
Speaker 1: last month, I had a miscarriage. I didn't know I
Speaker 1: was expecting, and I had one hundred percent and I
Speaker 1: had and I one hundred percent had an emotional meltdown.
Speaker 1: I've been taking this breakup hard. My question for you, ladies,
Speaker 1: how do you get to the other side of heartbreak?
Speaker 1: I've been suffering silence because, as I stated in my
Speaker 1: in my first letter, my friends and family are super
Speaker 1: prude and religious. Even though I didn't know he was married,
Speaker 1: I would I would never hear the end of it.
Speaker 1: And for the sake of my mental health, I've kept
Speaker 1: this to myself. I just want to get my post
Speaker 1: breakup glow up. I know it takes time. Any advice
Speaker 1: you ladies have would be great. First of all, fuck him.
Speaker 3: He's a fucking dickhead fuck and possibly a sociopath.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent one. That's like deeper than fuck boy.
Speaker 3: You are absolutely crazy, right, Like that's sociopath, Like that's
Speaker 3: that's beyond just fuck boy. I think that you are
Speaker 3: right for not sharing with people that you think are
Speaker 3: gonna judge you, even though it's absolutely not your fault
Speaker 3: because you didn't even fucking.
Speaker 1: Know, not your fault.
Speaker 3: But anybody who is married and takes someone to go
Speaker 3: look at rings.
Speaker 1: Is absolutely a sociopath. Like what the fuck is that?
Speaker 3: Like id channel, You should be actually lucky that you
Speaker 3: got away because he's gonna.
Speaker 1: Be That's what I said. I you, he did you
Speaker 1: a favor. He absolutely did you a favor because guess what,
Speaker 1: this is not the last time, and it's probably not
Speaker 1: the first time. That's that's I feel really bad for
Speaker 1: that woman actually, and you really dodged a bullet, And
Speaker 1: I think what you need to do, we really is
Speaker 1: probably first of all, you probably need to take some time,
Speaker 1: especially with the miscarriage, Like yeah, and I forgot I
Speaker 1: almost forgot about this. It's like wow, Like that's a
Speaker 1: lot that's heavy to take time to heal. But also
Speaker 1: know that like it's not your fault. And also like
Speaker 1: don't look at his social media. I feel like you
Speaker 1: have to really disconnect from this completely because a sociopath,
Speaker 1: he might come back around, you know, you just never
Speaker 1: He's that manipulative and sounds conquer because.
Speaker 3: Even to day, we don't look esthetically good to get
Speaker 3: back to there, we looked a steadically going together when
Speaker 3: your dick was in my pussy right raw, raw, Look
Speaker 3: it was aesthetically please there and you're eating my pussy.
Speaker 3: I just that makes me really upset and angry for you.
Speaker 3: And I understand like.
Speaker 1: Having a baby by somebody is so much.
Speaker 3: Deeper, especially when you had expectations for it to blossom
Speaker 3: to something more. I mean, I can only imagine if
Speaker 3: I met a doctor and we had all some sex
Speaker 3: and he was amazing and we're going to look at rings.
Speaker 3: Oh bitch, we're getting married. We're getting married. I found
Speaker 3: the man of my dream. I would have told all
Speaker 3: fifty seven of my friends that I don't have all
Speaker 3: my family members.
Speaker 1: And if this would have happened to.
Speaker 3: Me, I can I can't even understand. I can't even
Speaker 3: put myself in your shoes all the way, but I
Speaker 3: can only imagine that I would be pissed. And just so,
Speaker 3: it's deceiving and it's fucked up, but you also have
Speaker 3: to recognize that people thrive and manipulate on that way
Speaker 3: because it's satisfying and it's crazy, but people are Most
Speaker 3: people are crazy. There are not going to be that
Speaker 3: many rational, cool down doors, normal sane people. It's just
Speaker 3: doesn't that, it's just not how the humans are set up.
Speaker 3: It's only ass on the podcast. I don't know, only
Speaker 3: us that are ain't out here. Seriously, Like, if you're listening,
Speaker 3: we're meeting. If she hits the fan, all the rational
Speaker 3: people are meaning it.
Speaker 1: I'm staging the microphone for you currently too, because I
Speaker 1: think you know you have to focus on Okay, that
Speaker 1: was really fucked up, but you went you moved to
Speaker 1: DC a New City, You got a promotion. There's you
Speaker 1: went there to live your best Thatiana Thatiana life, and
Speaker 1: that's what you said and that's what you're gonna fucking do.
Speaker 1: This was just a minor bump in the road and
Speaker 1: maybe a learning experience. Maybe you really needed to check
Speaker 1: your boundaries. Maybe you need to check in with what
Speaker 1: your boundaries are. And because they're how long did they date?
Speaker 1: A year? Yeah? Like there you just have to check
Speaker 1: your boundaries, listen to your intuition, because was there no
Speaker 1: time at all throughout that time that maybe something didn't
Speaker 1: add up? You know, we as women we make shit work, right,
Speaker 1: We'll be like whoa, you know that we see the
Speaker 1: red flags and that we ignore them. And I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that's what happened, but I know it
Speaker 1: because obviously he deceived. He was deceiving.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he came to his house, which is yeah,
Speaker 3: and I would never think I would.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think anything of it either.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the nerve of him things to have changed, Oh
Speaker 3: you don't think my esthetic?
Speaker 1: I mean? And also to take a dig at your
Speaker 1: when his body and like your confidence and to make
Speaker 1: you feel like you've done something wrong. Is so hurtful
Speaker 1: and ridiculous. That's what he basically is drying and make
Speaker 1: it seem like sorry, you don't match my esthetic. He
Speaker 1: likes to hurt people. Yeah, he's not a good person.
Speaker 1: So so you're good. Yeah you are good. That's not
Speaker 1: your dream man. But he will come and if you
Speaker 1: I hope you listen to her. Actually I know, I
Speaker 1: know you listened to our last episode, and like, I
Speaker 1: really want to encourage you to, you know, speak out
Speaker 1: what the things you what things you want, you know,
Speaker 1: when you're ready, because just you know, join us. We
Speaker 1: talked about a last episode about like manifesting our men.
Speaker 1: Is this our new thirty day challenge, our ninety day challenge?
Speaker 1: Manifest your man? What if it doesn't come up for
Speaker 1: ninety days, that's doubtful. I don't even want to think.
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever. But in the meantime, really think
Speaker 1: about the things that you and commit if you want
Speaker 1: to be thought, maybe this mom came in the road
Speaker 1: because it's manifest your Thoughtiana.
Speaker 3: You came to play, you came to date, you came
Speaker 3: to indulge in that dating and indulge mostly in yourself.
Speaker 3: I think that's what with fucking and dating sometimes do
Speaker 3: if you're doing it right, if you like come.
Speaker 1: To the terms where you're like in tune with yourself.
Speaker 3: You could be doing it to satisfy you.
Speaker 1: And if that's your purpose, then don't don't get caught up.
Speaker 1: Don't get caught up, especially your new city.
Speaker 3: Take your time if people, if people are gonna fuck
Speaker 3: with you, they'll be there, they will be there. But
Speaker 3: really commit And maybe that's who the lesson was the
Speaker 3: first shiny thing. Don't settle, maybe because shiny things be dull.
Speaker 1: When you scratched, you past the starkfest. I got appreach bitch,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: The church say amen, yeah, and you gotta really let
Speaker 3: the time play its part. You know.
Speaker 1: Have you read this book? It's called My Men Love Bitches.
Speaker 1: You love that fucking book? I do.
Speaker 3: I think you need it. I think you should find it.
Speaker 3: It's on our website actually in our book club. But
Speaker 3: I think because and I don't, I don't know you personally.
Speaker 3: This is just my psychic ability in the stage all
Speaker 3: working together, plus the two stories you send it. I'm
Speaker 3: thinking that because of the background you came from and
Speaker 3: the family and.
Speaker 1: What you're what you're used to you.
Speaker 3: I mean not just that, just the fact that you
Speaker 3: have a vagina, and I think you have a vagina.
Speaker 1: I don't know she does. Yeah, I think, I guess.
Speaker 3: I think we gravitate to love, to comfort, to to
Speaker 3: like you know, taking care and nurturing what's comfortable to us.
Speaker 1: That's in our nature.
Speaker 3: I think I'm the most non feeling, feeling person. But
Speaker 3: one time a nigga bathed me, I don't even know
Speaker 3: he could read good honestly bathed me.
Speaker 1: To remember when that should happened to me too? And
Speaker 1: I was like, that was like he had told me
Speaker 1: about the CD he got in high school. Bitch.
Speaker 3: I drove to a mobia the next day and got
Speaker 3: that CD. I'm not kidding. And he literally had probably
Speaker 3: like he couldn't texts well, So I was like, wow,
Speaker 3: I'd be blinded. That's when I knew it should be
Speaker 3: fucked up in our heads. All I'm saying is with
Speaker 3: all that, take take this time to decompress what you've
Speaker 3: been taught, what you've learned about sexuality, about dating, about expectations.
Speaker 1: Especially coming from your background of you know, judge, maybe
Speaker 1: over really no religious people maybe seek experiences, and that
Speaker 1: is you have think something to choose from. You get
Speaker 1: yourself options, give yourself the rain, the permission to have options.
Speaker 1: It's okay you don't. It's healthy to have options.
Speaker 3: It's important to fuck a few dicks safely.
Speaker 1: Just to know what's out there, right, I agree. I
Speaker 1: had one hundred percent agree with that.
Speaker 3: And don't do it to the point where you're like
Speaker 3: trip it the next day. If you can do it
Speaker 3: with being cool with it.
Speaker 1: Do what feels good to you.
Speaker 3: You know your limits, right, but just don't clan like,
Speaker 3: don't attach to the first thing that looks good because
Speaker 3: it's rarely.
Speaker 1: It's rarely the first one is no.
Speaker 3: Honestly, don't even take a nigga seriously until it's been
Speaker 3: twelve months.
Speaker 1: Honestly, honestly, twelve months. Let's stay for twelve month. Even
Speaker 1: my shit with Happy Bay, like, it took nine months
Speaker 1: for me to be like, you know, this is not
Speaker 1: for me, like it's and it all seemed great in
Speaker 1: the getting and it's and he's a great person. It's
Speaker 1: just like we weren't on the same page really, like
Speaker 1: I think we were just on different journeys in our
Speaker 1: like singleness, and it just took nine months though, But
Speaker 1: that relationship I learned so much, Like that's so true,
Speaker 1: and being single, I've really learned that because I've always
Speaker 1: jumped back into relationships and like giving in like things
Speaker 1: not working out. How I even thought, I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: for so many of those times that they haven't because
Speaker 1: like I feel like it takes time, Like for me,
Speaker 1: even in my in my most in my longest relationships,
Speaker 1: I never it didn't start to get weird until like
Speaker 1: around a year and a half, two years, Oh yeah, because.
Speaker 3: I mean I know my baby daddy for fifteen years
Speaker 3: and it's weird.
Speaker 1: It got really weird. But but then and I feel
Speaker 1: like you choose either to push through or you break
Speaker 1: it up. Right, Yeah, I pushed through her push through
Speaker 1: me too, which is not always good.
Speaker 3: But to answer your question, I think getting through this
Speaker 3: is recognizing that this is your lesson. There is no
Speaker 3: relationship friends, boyfriend, baby daddy that isn't set there for
Speaker 3: you to come out on the other side like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: I learned this from that.
Speaker 1: I'm stronger because of that. That hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3: But now in the next situation, maybe your skin's a
Speaker 3: little tougher, maybe there's always a lesson to draw from
Speaker 3: any experience, and I think it's really important to pay
Speaker 3: attention with that lesson. Maybe in order to get to
Speaker 3: the next level.
Speaker 1: I think just really focus on loving yourself to the most,
Speaker 1: because once you do that, you just respect yourself in
Speaker 1: a different way, and like you respect your boundaries, your space,
Speaker 1: your time, just giving yourself permission to have options like
Speaker 1: all those things. You'll just have a clearer probably idea
Speaker 1: of what it is you want too. Now you're living
Speaker 1: in a new city, it's like you really have this
Speaker 1: opportunity to start over. It can be whatever you wanted
Speaker 1: to be, that kind of who you wanted. That's so cool,
Speaker 1: you know, so dive into that. I'd been excited about that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So much weed, Yeah, so much weed, so much stage.
Speaker 1: I want to hit it again, hit it again, please.
Speaker 1: I talk about the lavender blunt and the last one.
Speaker 1: I think, yes you did, Okay, well you have you
Speaker 1: found lavender since no, but I know somebody has a
Speaker 1: goddamn lavender. But somewhere you just go get one. I
Speaker 1: don't just grow one yourself. I know, let's get some seats.
Speaker 1: Actually I should grow it right there. Yeah, yeah, are right,
Speaker 1: somebody else. I also need to grow weed out there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my baby Daddy's dad. He grows weak. It's
Speaker 1: good too, Can I can you tell me where to
Speaker 1: grow here? Can you tell him? You take a picture.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that does. It needs to
Speaker 1: be in the shade or in the sun. I don't
Speaker 1: know anything about. We just smoke it.
Speaker 3: Okay, let me take care of it, all right. Oh
Speaker 3: what I was gonna say is this other will tell
Speaker 3: me roll blunts with rose petals?
Speaker 1: Like rose petals? Why would I want to do that?
Speaker 1: For what I know? But I don't know. Look, I
Speaker 1: gotta go.
Speaker 3: I love you, guys, Okay, close them out, whole bottle
Speaker 3: of line.
Speaker 1: All right, guys. You know where to find us at
Speaker 1: Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices, Join our newsletter on our
Speaker 1: website Good Mom's Bad Choices dot com, and we will
Speaker 1: see you guys next week.