WEBVTT - Somatic Healing Explained - How to Release Stored Trauma with Liz Tenuto

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<v Speaker 1>If there was one thing you wanted people to take

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<v Speaker 1>away from this podcast about sematic healing, what would it be?

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<v Speaker 2>Your body isn't broken, it's just trying to protect you.

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<v Speaker 1>Liz Tanuto is a sematic practitioner and trauma educator, also

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<v Speaker 1>known online as the work Out, which her new Bookshares

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<v Speaker 1>has signature movement protocols and practical tools that help her

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<v Speaker 1>and her students cover from childhood abuse, domestic violence, and

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<v Speaker 1>chronic illness.

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<v Speaker 2>I think for a long time, we've had this break

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<v Speaker 2>fixed mentality where it's like, my lower back hurts, it

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<v Speaker 2>must be the chair I'm sitting in. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>go buy a new chair. I was really trying all

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<v Speaker 2>these different things to just fix the pain. I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>realize it took me a long time to discover that

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<v Speaker 2>there was a whole emotional layer underneath it. You're really

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<v Speaker 2>just trying to reconnect your mind and body.

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<v Speaker 1>And who do you think would benefit from sematic healing.

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<v Speaker 2>I personally discovered it because I had gone through a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of trauma, and I had really bad insomnia and

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<v Speaker 2>had tried a lot of other modalities that weren't really

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<v Speaker 2>working for me. So a lot of people initially find

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<v Speaker 2>somatics from trauma or from like autoimmune conditions or some

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<v Speaker 2>sort of physical condition that they're having a really hard

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<v Speaker 2>time with.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Radivlukiah, and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,

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<v Speaker 1>we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space

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<v Speaker 1>for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow

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<v Speaker 1>you to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Liz,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for being here.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for having me.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been following your content for such a long time now,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was just saying this to you, but I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I need to say it to everyone. The

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<v Speaker 1>way that you create your content and the way that

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<v Speaker 1>you share the work that you do in somatic healing,

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<v Speaker 1>it's so easily accessible. You make it feel so much

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<v Speaker 1>simpler than the way that you think it would be,

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<v Speaker 1>and you just find a way to make it digestible

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<v Speaker 1>and easy. So thank you so much for the work

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<v Speaker 1>that you do.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you. I really appreciate that.

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to just start off by asking you what

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<v Speaker 1>sematic healing is. I feel like we hear it, but

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if the people really know the breakdown

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<v Speaker 1>of what it actually means.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's such a great question. Soma literally translates it's

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<v Speaker 2>the Greek word for a body, and somatic exercises are

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<v Speaker 2>these really tiny micro movements that you can do in

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<v Speaker 2>bed or on the floor that really stress out of

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<v Speaker 2>your body, release tension out of your body. Some of

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<v Speaker 2>them regulate your nervous systems, some of them release trauma

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<v Speaker 2>out of your body.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, And so does it originate from? Where is the

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<v Speaker 1>origin of somatic heating from?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? So I would say it's rooted in ancient cultures,

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<v Speaker 2>like ultimately, and then in the nineteen seventies, this guy

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<v Speaker 2>named Thomas Hannah used the word somatics for the first time. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>but there was a lot of research before that in

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<v Speaker 2>terms of how emotions are connected to your physicality and

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<v Speaker 2>your muscle tension. That's kind of paved the way and

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<v Speaker 2>set the foundation for somatics. But as of the nineteen

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<v Speaker 2>seventies is really when the field was born, and a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of neuroscience research has been done to kind of

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<v Speaker 2>substantiate the science behind the mind, body and emotional connection.

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<v Speaker 1>And who do you think would benefit from somatic healing?

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<v Speaker 2>I would say anyone who feels stressed. Okay, I personally

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<v Speaker 2>discovered it because I had gone through a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>trauma and I had really bad insomnia and had tried

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of other modalities that weren't really working for me.

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<v Speaker 2>So a lot of people initially find somatics from trauma

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<v Speaker 2>or from like autoimmune conditions or some sort of physical

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<v Speaker 2>condition that they're having a really hard time with. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but anyone who feels stressed out can benefit.

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<v Speaker 1>What are some of the benefits that you have found

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<v Speaker 1>in doing it yourself and recognizing some of the patients

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<v Speaker 1>that you've helped and treated.

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<v Speaker 2>Deep restorative sleep, so you really get that restoration that

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<v Speaker 2>happens when you get a full night sleep, which is

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<v Speaker 2>kind of the foundation of a lot of your health.

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<v Speaker 2>I would say just being able to handle stress with

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<v Speaker 2>more ease without it taking you into overwhelm or taking

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<v Speaker 2>you into a shutdown state. So it kind of helps

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<v Speaker 2>you stay connected and stay grounded to yourself. And I

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<v Speaker 2>would just say like physical relaxation, like feeling like you're

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<v Speaker 2>not tense all the time, not feeling like you're not

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<v Speaker 2>feeling like you're clenching your job right right, not feeling

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<v Speaker 2>like you're clenching your body which just makes everything so

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<v Speaker 2>much more relaxing.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. I feel like everyone needs that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you mentioned how you came into this through trauma

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<v Speaker 1>that you'd been through. How did you find trauma showed

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<v Speaker 1>up in your physical body or that you've seen other people?

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<v Speaker 1>Where does it show up in the body? How does

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<v Speaker 1>it show up?

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<v Speaker 2>How does it manifest There can be a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>different what I call like flavors of manifestations. For some

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<v Speaker 2>people it's sleep issues, for other people it's chronic pain.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people have unexplained issues. Gut issues are quite common,

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<v Speaker 2>stomach aches are quite common. And then you can also

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<v Speaker 2>have kind of unexplained physical pain that's not from an

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<v Speaker 2>injury or an accident that's just not really going away,

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<v Speaker 2>whether it's headaches or migraines, or if it's you know,

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<v Speaker 2>lower back pain that's not going away, or neck pain

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<v Speaker 2>neck tension that you can't really figure out.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I we recently shared this on our page on

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<v Speaker 1>Instagram of the body map and where different emotions show up.

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<v Speaker 1>I just wondering if you share a little bit on that,

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<v Speaker 1>is there truth to it? And how do you wear

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<v Speaker 1>in the body do different emotions end up showing up.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's such a great study. So there are patterns

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<v Speaker 2>of different emotional responses that kind of get stored what

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<v Speaker 2>we call get stored in different parts of your body.

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<v Speaker 2>In the throat, it's very connected to like lack of

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<v Speaker 2>like not feeling like you have a voice. So perhaps

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<v Speaker 2>you've experienced some sort of injustice or you've been like

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<v Speaker 2>shut down over and over again and you feel like

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<v Speaker 2>you can't really speak up. Jaw tends to be like

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<v Speaker 2>your boundaries have been crossed. You're angry about something and

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<v Speaker 2>not in a bad way, like really valid anger. Hips

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<v Speaker 2>tend to be more like betrayal or trauma.

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<v Speaker 1>So many different places in the body. Yeah, it's incredible, though.

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<v Speaker 1>It's incredible to see that emotion body connection. And sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>you don't realize it, like, oh, we're just exhausted and

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<v Speaker 1>we're tired, and we think about everything being on the

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<v Speaker 1>physical plane. It's like my foot's hurting because I've been

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<v Speaker 1>walking too much. But no, maybe it's walking. Maybe it's

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<v Speaker 1>hurting because I'm carrying too much load emotionally, And it's

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<v Speaker 1>difficult to remember that on a daily basis.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's really difficult to remember that. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I think for a long time we've had

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<v Speaker 2>this break fixed mentality where it's like, my lower back hurts,

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<v Speaker 2>it must be the chair I'm sitting in. Yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to go buy a new chair, right exactly. And

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<v Speaker 2>then you're like, wait, the chair didn't fix it, which

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<v Speaker 2>is what I experienced with my own insomnia and my

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<v Speaker 2>own chronic pain for a while too. And I was

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<v Speaker 2>really trying all these different things to just fix the pain,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I didn't. I didn't realize. It took me

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<v Speaker 2>a long time to discover that there was a whole

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<v Speaker 2>emotional layer underneath it.

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<v Speaker 1>What's the difference then, between sematic work or sematic work

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<v Speaker 1>and doing yoga yoga postures?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would say there's different goals. So yoga, from

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<v Speaker 2>what I know about it is, you know, very rooted

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<v Speaker 2>in spirituality, and the postures are kind of and the

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<v Speaker 2>poses are kind of a way to deepen your spiritual connection,

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<v Speaker 2>deepen your connection to yourself. The postures work on a

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<v Speaker 2>muscular level, whereas somatics, there is no spiritual component to somatics.

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<v Speaker 2>It's really just about for me, it's about re establishing

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<v Speaker 2>a sense of agency in the body. So you have

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<v Speaker 2>this like choice of how you do the exercises. There's

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<v Speaker 2>no correct or incorrect way to do them, and you're

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<v Speaker 2>not really trying to go deeper necessarily. You're really just

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<v Speaker 2>trying to reconnect your mind and body so that neither

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<v Speaker 2>are feeling shut down or kind of dissociated.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember when I studied, when I did my yoga

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<v Speaker 1>teach training, they talked about how breath is the anchor

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<v Speaker 1>between your mind and your body to bring you back

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<v Speaker 1>into presence. And from what I'm hearing, somatic healing sounds

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<v Speaker 1>like practices to bring you back into the present moment,

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<v Speaker 1>like to constantly bring your body and your mind back

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<v Speaker 1>into one place.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 1>What are some if people are doing trying to incorporate

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<v Speaker 1>sematic healing into their day. Are there three different types

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<v Speaker 1>of exercise you could share with us or movements that

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<v Speaker 1>you could share with us that are easiest to do?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so one? Do you want to do one together?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, great, we can stay sitting like this. We'll just

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<v Speaker 2>uncross our legs and then just move this slightly so

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<v Speaker 2>you can go ahead and take your right hand and

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<v Speaker 2>grab a hold of your right ear pretty firmly, and

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<v Speaker 2>if at any point your arm gets tired, just rest.

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<v Speaker 2>You want to have a nice firm pull on the ear,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're going to open and close your mouth a

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<v Speaker 2>couple times. It looks kind of strange, it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Part of the good things do.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's part of the fun. And then we'll just

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<v Speaker 2>bring that to a rest for a moment. This is

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<v Speaker 2>a vagus nerve exercise, so it'll give you a little

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<v Speaker 2>more energy. And then the next step of this is

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<v Speaker 2>getting that same hold with your ear, so you're using

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<v Speaker 2>your right hand to grab firmly, pull up slightly, and

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<v Speaker 2>then in the laziest way possible, you're just going to

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<v Speaker 2>dip your ear a little right to left.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my, next tent.

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<v Speaker 2>That's okay, And then you want to see how unclenched

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<v Speaker 2>can your job be as you do this? And then

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<v Speaker 2>how lazy can you be as you do this movement?

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<v Speaker 1>Pretty wed is staying when moving the headside to side.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, and then we'll just go ahead and rest for

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<v Speaker 2>a moment. And it takes like twenty to thirty seconds

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<v Speaker 2>to kind of feel the effect, but you might feel

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<v Speaker 2>like a little sprinkly feeling on the right side of

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<v Speaker 2>your and it should make you feel slightly more energized. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>and so then you know, if we were doing this

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<v Speaker 2>in a class format, we would repeat it on the

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<v Speaker 2>same the other side, which we can do after we finish. Yeah, yeah, together.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's one quick exercise that you can do. I

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<v Speaker 2>do that before meetings all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>Amazing. You mentioned the vegus nerve. Yeah, tell us a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit about the vegus nerve and how it impacts us.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's the longest cranial nerve in your body. It

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<v Speaker 2>runs from the base of your brainstem all the way

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<v Speaker 2>down into your stomach. If your vegas nerve is kind

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<v Speaker 2>of shut down, you'll feel like emotionally numb. You'll have

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<v Speaker 2>a hard time getting out of bed. You'll feel really

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<v Speaker 2>low energy, your limbs will feel heavy, you may not

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<v Speaker 2>be able to cry, you may be like responding to

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<v Speaker 2>people with one word answers, kind of like after you

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<v Speaker 2>finish all your tasks, you may just like kind of

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<v Speaker 2>collapse and watch Netflix or just like be so tired.

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<v Speaker 2>So the vegus nerve really, when you restimulate vegas nerve,

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<v Speaker 2>it really helps bring you back into your baseline. It

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<v Speaker 2>really helps regulate your nervous system and give you more energy.

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<v Speaker 2>And you can normally do that if you practice for

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<v Speaker 2>like ten minutes a day, you can normally restimulate your

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<v Speaker 2>vegus nerve and like fifteen to thirty days.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, yeah, so that was an exercise for that.

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<v Speaker 1>Are there any is the breath work involved in somatic

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<v Speaker 1>healing as well?

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<v Speaker 2>There can be breath work involved in somatic healing. There

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<v Speaker 2>are different schools of somatics. I personally don't teach breath work,

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<v Speaker 2>but there are there can be breathwork involved.

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<v Speaker 1>I know sometimes I've seen online when I'm watching people

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<v Speaker 1>do somatic healing, and obviously there's small clips, but sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>it can be quite aggressive and it can look a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit scary. Talk me through the movements that's you know,

0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.000
<v Speaker 1>it almost looks like involuntary bodily movements that people are

0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:53.720
<v Speaker 1>having or the type of energetic experiences that look like

0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:54.720
<v Speaker 1>they're unexplainable.

0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:59.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah. So there is a thing called a neurogenic

0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.560
<v Speaker 2>which is like this involuntary shaking that can happen in

0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.240
<v Speaker 2>your body. And essentially, if you've ever been in like

0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:09.440
<v Speaker 2>a really scary situation, you may have noticed that your

0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:12.600
<v Speaker 2>body shakes. And for a lot of people, we have

0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:16.360
<v Speaker 2>this cognitive override where we can like subconsciously stop the

0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:20.840
<v Speaker 2>shaking because we don't want to look bizarre, like, especially

0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.160
<v Speaker 2>in public, if you're really scared, you don't want to

0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:28.560
<v Speaker 2>be shaking. But the shaking actually finalizes your biological stress response.

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:33.320
<v Speaker 2>So dogs, after they get scared, they'll shake their body right,

0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.760
<v Speaker 2>and animals do this, and that's why doctor Peter Levine

0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.880
<v Speaker 2>talks about like he's one of the founders of somatics.

0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.600
<v Speaker 2>He talks about how animals don't get PTSD, and part

0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.520
<v Speaker 2>of this theory has to do with the neurogenic genic tremor.

0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.880
<v Speaker 2>So there are exercises that you can do it within

0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:55.440
<v Speaker 2>somatics that gently recreate this neurogenic tremor in your body.

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.439
<v Speaker 2>So you'll do an exercise and you'll start to shake.

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Oftentimes when that happens, you'll also start to cry and

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:06.959
<v Speaker 2>you get like this big release emotionally and physically. You've

0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:10.480
<v Speaker 2>finalized your biological stress response, and then you're no longer

0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:13.600
<v Speaker 2>really stuck in that stress physiology in the same way,

0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:17.160
<v Speaker 2>but with somatics, I always kind of advise people like,

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:20.040
<v Speaker 2>you don't want to have like a super intense cathartic

0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.280
<v Speaker 2>experiment the release itself can be kind of intense and

0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:28.680
<v Speaker 2>cathartic for some people, but if someone's guiding you into

0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:33.360
<v Speaker 2>it in a really intense cathartic way, that's not the best, right, Okay, Yeah,

0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:36.480
<v Speaker 2>so you want to kind of work incrementally. For me,

0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't even talk to people about the release until

0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 2>like eighteen sessions in. Yeah, so you kind of want

0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.960
<v Speaker 2>to make sure that you've released habitual tension out of

0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.720
<v Speaker 2>your body, that you feel safe again in your body

0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:52.600
<v Speaker 2>before you start to take it into this big release moment.

0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.240
<v Speaker 1>So there are all these there are different exercises to

0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.080
<v Speaker 1>stimulate or release different parts in your body. And so

0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:00.240
<v Speaker 1>would you normally what would a session look like, could

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:03.360
<v Speaker 1>go through head to toe, or you'd focus on specific areas.

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:07.440
<v Speaker 2>I kind of focus on first. I start with these

0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:12.920
<v Speaker 2>really gentle rocking exercises, bilateral stimulation, different ways of releasing

0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:16.640
<v Speaker 2>habitual tension out of different body parts. I personally start

0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:21.120
<v Speaker 2>with the hips because it's kind of the main center

0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.480
<v Speaker 2>of movement and it's also one of the strongest parts

0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:27.640
<v Speaker 2>of your body. So rather than starting with some more

0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 2>like the neck that's really tender and people can kind

0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.320
<v Speaker 2>of injure themselves, you want to start with the strongest

0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 2>part of the body and start there so that people

0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 2>stay safe. Then I normally go into the jaw and

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.800
<v Speaker 2>do some jaw releasing. And the jaw and the hips

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.880
<v Speaker 2>are connected through your fascia, so that's quite nice. Like

0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 2>normally if people have tight hips, they also have a

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:51.040
<v Speaker 2>clenched jaw.

0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh interesting, Yeah.

0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:54.440
<v Speaker 2>They kind of go hand in hand, and those are

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:59.560
<v Speaker 2>kind of the two first responders to stress in your body.

0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:01.760
<v Speaker 2>You're so as muscle will clench up, which is a

0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:05.280
<v Speaker 2>muscle that runs from your diaphragm into your greater trocanter

0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:09.120
<v Speaker 2>which is near your groin, and then your jaw will

0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.040
<v Speaker 2>also clench and this is just part of your fight

0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:13.000
<v Speaker 2>or flight response.

0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:13.600
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:15.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So I start with those two parts of the

0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:19.160
<v Speaker 2>body release ten, and then I start releasing tension in

0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.760
<v Speaker 2>the shoulders as well, and then I start moving into

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.200
<v Speaker 2>more releasing exercises. So I do like a soas release,

0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:29.160
<v Speaker 2>and we do a stress release and a trauma release.

0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:31.760
<v Speaker 2>And then at the end of the journey that I

0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:35.080
<v Speaker 2>teach is more integration, so that you're not just like

0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:39.480
<v Speaker 2>leaving people after this big release early moment that we're

0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:44.320
<v Speaker 2>reintegrating it so that you know, everything's kind of complete.

0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:46.280
<v Speaker 1>Are they? Is it something that I recommend people do

0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:47.000
<v Speaker 1>every single day.

0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:51.040
<v Speaker 2>I do them about six days a week. Yeah, and

0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:54.160
<v Speaker 2>I only do like five minutes sometimes ten per day,

0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.720
<v Speaker 2>depending on what I'm doing. For example, in the car

0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 2>on the way here, I was doing a couple exercises

0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:04.480
<v Speaker 2>to just relax and you know, not feel anxious totally. Yeah,

0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.120
<v Speaker 2>and it depends, you know, for people if you've gone

0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.960
<v Speaker 2>through more in your life or you are currently living

0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:14.640
<v Speaker 2>in a really stressful phase of life. They're so great

0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:18.200
<v Speaker 2>to do every day. Other people who want to just

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.280
<v Speaker 2>like have this experience of reconnecting to their body and

0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:24.720
<v Speaker 2>regulating their nervous system can do them for a shorter

0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.920
<v Speaker 2>amount of time, like like thirty to sixty day journey

0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 2>and then you know, just use as needed.

0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:31.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:32.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:34.920
<v Speaker 1>Are there certain types of movements that we do, you know,

0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.520
<v Speaker 1>whether it's workouts or yeah, the types of workouts that

0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:44.080
<v Speaker 1>we do that can negatively impact our nervous system or

0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, because you think movement is movement and it's

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 1>always good for you, but are there certain types of

0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:51.160
<v Speaker 1>movement that you wouldn't recommend for someone who's feeling quite anxious?

0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:56.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I would say high and super high intensity exercise

0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:59.480
<v Speaker 2>atally caring that. Yeah, if you're already stressed, and you're

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:05.200
<v Speaker 2>already disregulated, or you feel constant anxiety or constant overwhelmed,

0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:09.440
<v Speaker 2>you're really just introducing another stressor into your life. So

0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:13.800
<v Speaker 2>you want to do low to mid intensity exercise if

0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.240
<v Speaker 2>you feel that way. And it's not that you can't

0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:20.080
<v Speaker 2>ever get to the place of doing high intensity exercise.

0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:24.200
<v Speaker 2>You just want to work your body incrementally and slowly

0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:28.600
<v Speaker 2>to get there. So some people that I would coach

0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 2>would like be like I went to a hit class

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:34.280
<v Speaker 2>after not working out for COVID, Like they didn't work

0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:36.439
<v Speaker 2>out the whole pandemic and then they went back to

0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:38.320
<v Speaker 2>a HIT class and they're like and then I got injured,

0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:42.520
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, right, because you just threw your well

0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 2>intentioned They just threw their body into this really intense experience.

0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.800
<v Speaker 2>But you can't get there. You just want to start.

0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:53.880
<v Speaker 2>It's like Goldilock, you know, like you want to start

0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 2>in the middle and then or you know, low intensity

0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:58.040
<v Speaker 2>and then work your way.

0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:01.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, when you were going through healing your own trauma

0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:06.480
<v Speaker 1>that you'd been through, were there any other supportive therapies

0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:09.320
<v Speaker 1>or treatments that you had done that also helped in

0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:10.440
<v Speaker 1>your journey. Yeah.

0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:16.119
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely. I love emdr Okay, which also uses bilateral stimulation,

0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.159
<v Speaker 2>mostly with your eyes. It can sometimes be done with sound.

0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 2>It's another bottom up regulation tool, bottom up processing tool

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 2>for trauma. Talk therapy is considered a top down processing

0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.960
<v Speaker 2>tool for trauma. I also really love talk therapy. It

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.560
<v Speaker 2>took me a little while to find the exact type

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:40.960
<v Speaker 2>that worked the best for me, But for me IFS,

0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:45.640
<v Speaker 2>which stands for Internal Family Systems, Yes, has been really amazing.

0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:48.720
<v Speaker 1>I had Gabbie Bernstein on the podcast and she recently

0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:52.000
<v Speaker 1>wrote a book on internal family systems, and it was

0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:55.240
<v Speaker 1>so amazing because she said she actually didn't realize that

0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:59.439
<v Speaker 1>she had a specific trauma until a few years ago,

0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 1>where she did it internal family system and she realized

0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:03.280
<v Speaker 1>that she'd been abused when she was younger, and she

0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 1>had no idea, and it unlocked a part of her

0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 1>that she had obviously suppressed or kind of put aside.

0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:14.200
<v Speaker 1>But I've heard that it can be such a powerful tool.

0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's incredibly powerful, and I think it's a lot

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.879
<v Speaker 2>more effective for people who've experienced trauma than other types

0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:25.399
<v Speaker 2>like cognitive behavioral therapy, and a lot of people who've

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.439
<v Speaker 2>experienced really intense trauma when they're younger get kind of

0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:34.400
<v Speaker 2>a dissociative amnesia because it's essentially it's too much to process,

0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.639
<v Speaker 2>so you just kind of shut down and you can't

0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:40.879
<v Speaker 2>remember it until you get your body to the place

0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:42.080
<v Speaker 2>that you feel safe enough.

0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:47.240
<v Speaker 1>Is that disassociation? Oh yeah, yeah, I feel like that's

0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:50.320
<v Speaker 1>a common symptom. Well, I don't even know call it

0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:52.800
<v Speaker 1>a symptom, but a common response to trauma. And I

0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.360
<v Speaker 1>guess could you explain that a little bit why that happens.

0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, When your a nervous system gets too overwhelmed

0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:04.800
<v Speaker 2>into a protective response called freeze. Some people experience it

0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.119
<v Speaker 2>as functional freeze, or you can go into like a

0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:12.480
<v Speaker 2>full shutdown, so there's a spectrum. Functional freeze is when

0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:14.640
<v Speaker 2>you can still get all of your tasks done during

0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:18.160
<v Speaker 2>the day. You might even be really successful at work

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:21.600
<v Speaker 2>with your family, but then when you come home at

0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:25.000
<v Speaker 2>night you just crash and collapse. And then freeze is

0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:27.639
<v Speaker 2>a little bit more extreme, where you're like can barely

0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:30.240
<v Speaker 2>get out of bed, and then full shut down is

0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:33.680
<v Speaker 2>almost like catatonic, where you are not talking anymore, you're

0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:38.160
<v Speaker 2>barely eating. And those are different levels of severity of

0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 2>the freeze response. But ultimately, when you experience the freeze response,

0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:47.119
<v Speaker 2>your body turns off and your brain turns off the

0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:51.480
<v Speaker 2>non essential functions. So that's part of the reason why

0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:55.520
<v Speaker 2>people will get gut issues, because for some reason, your

0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:58.360
<v Speaker 2>body doesn't think that it needs its gut to survive.

0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.440
<v Speaker 2>This is very evolution. Nervous systems are very old, yeah,

0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.399
<v Speaker 2>and haven't quite cut up to modern society yet. But

0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:13.119
<v Speaker 2>also you will lose some ability to remember, yes, and

0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:14.600
<v Speaker 2>it's just protective.

0:21:14.280 --> 0:21:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, of course.

0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:15.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:18.280
<v Speaker 1>Your mind kind of like just boxes things up and

0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:20.200
<v Speaker 1>puts them aside so you don't have to deal with them.

0:21:21.040 --> 0:21:23.560
<v Speaker 1>What happens to the nervous system during panic attacks because

0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 1>that kind of feels like the opposite of dissociation, where

0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:28.280
<v Speaker 1>you're really just feeling everything in your body totally.

0:21:28.800 --> 0:21:32.960
<v Speaker 2>Panic attacks are like sympathetic activation of the nervous system,

0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:36.520
<v Speaker 2>which is like your nervous system can go off, which

0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.320
<v Speaker 2>would be like this shut down state, and then it

0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:41.840
<v Speaker 2>can get kind of stuck in on which is more

0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:45.960
<v Speaker 2>like fight flight, okay, And the panic attack is essentially

0:21:46.040 --> 0:21:49.960
<v Speaker 2>like a really extreme version of that sympathetic activation where

0:21:49.960 --> 0:21:53.840
<v Speaker 2>you get so activated that your body has to discharge

0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:56.960
<v Speaker 2>some energy, and that's where the panic attack comes in.

0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Are there any simple somatic tools that people can use

0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:01.679
<v Speaker 1>if they're experiencing a panic attack.

0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:06.280
<v Speaker 2>During the panic attack itself, get low to the ground

0:22:07.000 --> 0:22:09.160
<v Speaker 2>and as slow of a way as you can, and

0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:12.359
<v Speaker 2>place your hand on your body, just in any way

0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:16.159
<v Speaker 2>to ground yourself, hand on heart if you can, and

0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:20.119
<v Speaker 2>just stay there for a moment after the panic attack.

0:22:20.160 --> 0:22:23.760
<v Speaker 2>When you feel more safer, once you've gotten home, you

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:28.040
<v Speaker 2>can lay in bed on your stomach and place your hands,

0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:29.760
<v Speaker 2>stack your hands on top of each other, make a

0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:32.679
<v Speaker 2>diamond with your arms and place your forehead on the

0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:35.280
<v Speaker 2>top of your hands, and you can take your hips

0:22:35.400 --> 0:22:39.720
<v Speaker 2>right left in like this gentle even rhythm, kind of

0:22:39.840 --> 0:22:44.840
<v Speaker 2>medium speed. This is part of bilateral stimulation. It'll help

0:22:45.000 --> 0:22:48.000
<v Speaker 2>bring your body back into a more regulated state. But

0:22:48.040 --> 0:22:51.440
<v Speaker 2>I would suggest after a panic attack doing that hip

0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:53.359
<v Speaker 2>blocking for like a minute before you go to bed.

0:22:53.640 --> 0:22:57.240
<v Speaker 1>They feel like really manageable tools to be able to incorporate. Yeah,

0:22:57.320 --> 0:22:59.399
<v Speaker 1>what are the things that you think people are doing

0:22:59.480 --> 0:23:02.440
<v Speaker 1>every single day that's causing like minded dysregulation? Like in

0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:05.119
<v Speaker 1>an average person. What are the things that we're doing

0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:06.520
<v Speaker 1>in our day that you're like, we need to do

0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:06.960
<v Speaker 1>less of that?

0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:09.639
<v Speaker 2>Not going outside?

0:23:10.200 --> 0:23:11.680
<v Speaker 1>Yes, so true.

0:23:11.720 --> 0:23:17.160
<v Speaker 2>The big one. Not moving at all is another big one,

0:23:17.160 --> 0:23:20.480
<v Speaker 2>And I get I get that the reason why it's happening.

0:23:20.720 --> 0:23:24.240
<v Speaker 2>You know, we're all a lot more tech based now.

0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:27.680
<v Speaker 2>Our lifestyles have changed a lot, even with AI. Our

0:23:27.720 --> 0:23:30.479
<v Speaker 2>life has changed a lot in the last couple of years,

0:23:30.520 --> 0:23:34.760
<v Speaker 2>and everything's getting more tech dependent. But I think as

0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:38.520
<v Speaker 2>we're doing that, we can't stop our bodies from moving

0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:42.400
<v Speaker 2>because not moving just has this domino effect on your health.

0:23:43.400 --> 0:23:46.160
<v Speaker 2>You know, the phone can be problematic, but I feel

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:48.080
<v Speaker 2>like it's so far gone already, Like.

0:23:50.480 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 1>How many more times can we tell people people find out?

0:23:52.359 --> 0:23:55.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like I can't. I can't in good confidence tell

0:23:55.760 --> 0:23:58.240
<v Speaker 2>people to put their phone down because I just feel

0:23:58.320 --> 0:24:01.679
<v Speaker 2>like it's part of our life style now. But we

0:24:01.760 --> 0:24:06.119
<v Speaker 2>can do things, like, you know, anything that's more sensual,

0:24:06.400 --> 0:24:10.320
<v Speaker 2>where if you're cooking, like that's a really great way

0:24:10.440 --> 0:24:14.640
<v Speaker 2>of like experiencing your senses. If you're going outside, you're

0:24:14.640 --> 0:24:18.120
<v Speaker 2>like smelling the sounds, you're hearing the birds, you're feeling

0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:21.960
<v Speaker 2>the sun on your skin. Movement is also this great

0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:25.480
<v Speaker 2>way of connecting to your senses so and connecting to

0:24:25.520 --> 0:24:27.040
<v Speaker 2>how you feel on the inside.

0:24:27.200 --> 0:24:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I like that that tip of connecting back to

0:24:29.760 --> 0:24:32.119
<v Speaker 1>your senses because I feel like those are the things

0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:33.840
<v Speaker 1>that can bring you back into the present moment. And

0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:35.720
<v Speaker 1>that's really what you're trying to do, right You're trying

0:24:35.720 --> 0:24:38.560
<v Speaker 1>to constantly bring yourself back, bring yourself back. If you've

0:24:38.560 --> 0:24:41.080
<v Speaker 1>been on your phone, try and connect back to your senses,

0:24:41.119 --> 0:24:44.199
<v Speaker 1>if you've your mind's wondering, if you feel anxious, just

0:24:44.240 --> 0:24:47.960
<v Speaker 1>do something, smell something, please, something that brings you back

0:24:47.960 --> 0:24:50.800
<v Speaker 1>into this present moment. And the more moments you can

0:24:50.840 --> 0:24:52.719
<v Speaker 1>have throughout the day, even if you've had a lot

0:24:52.760 --> 0:24:55.040
<v Speaker 1>of moments where you feel like you've not been present

0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:57.480
<v Speaker 1>in your body at least these are the little anchors

0:24:57.480 --> 0:24:59.560
<v Speaker 1>that bring you back in. Yeah, I think those are

0:24:59.560 --> 0:25:02.159
<v Speaker 1>really import And Yeah, I have a racing mind often,

0:25:02.240 --> 0:25:06.320
<v Speaker 1>so I use breath work a lot for my resets

0:25:06.359 --> 0:25:09.000
<v Speaker 1>throughout the day. Do you have like a thing that

0:25:09.080 --> 0:25:12.280
<v Speaker 1>you do as like a two minute nervous system reset

0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:16.440
<v Speaker 1>to just get you back into focus. Is breathwork involved

0:25:16.480 --> 0:25:18.080
<v Speaker 1>in in that practice?

0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:20.760
<v Speaker 2>Or I don't really do that much breath work I'm

0:25:20.800 --> 0:25:23.640
<v Speaker 2>really focused on movement, and I have nothing against work,

0:25:25.080 --> 0:25:27.240
<v Speaker 2>but I do this little tapping.

0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:30.440
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna ask, Yeah, this just.

0:25:30.440 --> 0:25:34.560
<v Speaker 2>On my thighs. Or you can cross your arms, cross

0:25:34.600 --> 0:25:37.600
<v Speaker 2>your wrists over your chest and tap right left and

0:25:37.640 --> 0:25:40.640
<v Speaker 2>I do it for like about a minute, medium pressure,

0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:46.000
<v Speaker 2>medium pace, And that is bilateral stimulation, which helps me reset.

0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:49.840
<v Speaker 1>I love tapping, like yeah, it helps to remind you

0:25:49.880 --> 0:25:53.800
<v Speaker 1>that you're in your body, yes, Like yeah.

0:25:53.720 --> 0:25:57.080
<v Speaker 2>Because we sometimes just kind of like leave our bodies

0:25:57.119 --> 0:25:58.720
<v Speaker 2>for a moment exactly. Yeah.

0:25:59.040 --> 0:26:01.080
<v Speaker 1>So obviously this is called a really good cry. And

0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:02.240
<v Speaker 1>you mentioned that you love crying.

0:26:02.280 --> 0:26:02.879
<v Speaker 2>I love crying.

0:26:03.200 --> 0:26:05.800
<v Speaker 1>Give me the load, give me the breakdown of Like

0:26:05.840 --> 0:26:09.480
<v Speaker 1>why is crying so therapeutic? Because honestly, sometimes I will

0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:13.760
<v Speaker 1>be feeling so heavy, whether it's energetically physically, my head's hurting,

0:26:14.000 --> 0:26:16.600
<v Speaker 1>and as soon as I cry, I'm like brand new. Yeah,

0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:18.399
<v Speaker 1>taught me through that a little bit.

0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:23.399
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely. So crying is a reset for your nervous system.

0:26:23.560 --> 0:26:27.520
<v Speaker 2>So if you're crying from an emotional reason, it brings

0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:31.879
<v Speaker 2>you back into regulation. Essentially, what can happen for people

0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:35.879
<v Speaker 2>is you get that sympathetic activation where your the stress

0:26:36.000 --> 0:26:39.400
<v Speaker 2>is building up in your body, and crying is this release.

0:26:40.440 --> 0:26:44.679
<v Speaker 2>It also releases oxytocin, which is a feel good hormone,

0:26:45.840 --> 0:26:48.000
<v Speaker 2>and it just that's why you feel so good after

0:26:48.040 --> 0:26:48.360
<v Speaker 2>you cry.

0:26:48.440 --> 0:26:51.119
<v Speaker 1>Wow. So interesting that even though crying feels sad, it

0:26:51.200 --> 0:26:55.800
<v Speaker 1>releases a happy hormone giving your body after afterwards. Yeah,

0:26:55.840 --> 0:26:58.560
<v Speaker 1>no idea that it does that. Yeah, okay, so we

0:26:58.600 --> 0:27:00.240
<v Speaker 1>do all these cry and why do you why do

0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:02.600
<v Speaker 1>people find it difficult to cry? Sometimes? I first like,

0:27:02.600 --> 0:27:04.880
<v Speaker 1>I really cry, Well, I haven't cried in years, Yeah,

0:27:04.880 --> 0:27:07.840
<v Speaker 1>and I can't relate, and I'm like, wow, what did that?

0:27:08.040 --> 0:27:08.840
<v Speaker 1>What does that feel like?

0:27:09.200 --> 0:27:13.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I had about like ten years where I couldn't lie. Wow,

0:27:13.280 --> 0:27:16.280
<v Speaker 2>which I was like, and I was much younger at

0:27:16.320 --> 0:27:18.040
<v Speaker 2>the time, and I was very worried that there was

0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:20.680
<v Speaker 2>something like quote unquote wrong with me, which if you're

0:27:20.720 --> 0:27:23.439
<v Speaker 2>experiencing this, there's nothing wrong with you. Just so you know,

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:27.959
<v Speaker 2>it's a very normal protective response. But it does have

0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:30.840
<v Speaker 2>to do with that freeze response in your nervous system

0:27:30.880 --> 0:27:34.120
<v Speaker 2>where you're more shut down, so you're more emotionally numb,

0:27:34.600 --> 0:27:37.240
<v Speaker 2>and ultimately, your your body doesn't feel like it has

0:27:37.280 --> 0:27:41.639
<v Speaker 2>like the resources for emotional expression. It doesn't have the

0:27:41.680 --> 0:27:43.919
<v Speaker 2>capacity for emotional expression.

0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:46.040
<v Speaker 1>It's like if I shed one tear, all of them,

0:27:46.080 --> 0:27:48.320
<v Speaker 1>all of the tiers can come out. Yeah.

0:27:48.560 --> 0:27:50.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And for me when I experienced that, even like

0:27:50.720 --> 0:27:53.919
<v Speaker 2>when my grandma passed away, I was not crying and

0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:57.040
<v Speaker 2>I was like, what is wrong? What is going on?

0:27:57.800 --> 0:28:01.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's hard. I remember my friend when someone passed

0:28:01.680 --> 0:28:03.119
<v Speaker 1>in her family. I went to her and I gave

0:28:03.160 --> 0:28:05.399
<v Speaker 1>her huggy. She said, don't hug me because I'm just

0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:07.400
<v Speaker 1>going to end up crying. Yeah. It's like, don't ask

0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:09.440
<v Speaker 1>me if I'm okay, otherwise I'm going to end up crying.

0:28:09.480 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 1>And so I think it's it's this feeling of I'm

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:14.639
<v Speaker 1>not ready to release just yet. I don't need to

0:28:14.680 --> 0:28:17.560
<v Speaker 1>be comforted to. I want to protect myself. And then

0:28:17.560 --> 0:28:20.240
<v Speaker 1>when I'm ready and my body feels ready or my

0:28:20.240 --> 0:28:21.920
<v Speaker 1>mind feels ready, I'll release.

0:28:22.359 --> 0:28:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think women too, like we don't give ourselves

0:28:26.440 --> 0:28:28.680
<v Speaker 2>enough credit for like how much we hold it down, right,

0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:31.639
<v Speaker 2>Like a lot of us have great careers and a

0:28:31.680 --> 0:28:33.159
<v Speaker 2>lot of us are kind of like the head of

0:28:33.200 --> 0:28:36.080
<v Speaker 2>the household, and we do hold it down. And I

0:28:36.080 --> 0:28:38.200
<v Speaker 2>think a lot of us are kind of operating in

0:28:38.240 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 2>this place where we're like forced into hyper independence in

0:28:41.920 --> 0:28:44.520
<v Speaker 2>a way, and it can be really hard to be

0:28:44.600 --> 0:28:47.560
<v Speaker 2>vulnerable in that state and cry in that state because

0:28:47.560 --> 0:28:50.320
<v Speaker 2>you're kind of concerned, like is everything going to fall

0:28:50.360 --> 0:28:55.760
<v Speaker 2>apart if I let myself cry. I'm personally a big

0:28:55.800 --> 0:28:56.920
<v Speaker 2>fan of crying in public.

0:28:58.440 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, cry on planes all the time?

0:29:01.440 --> 0:29:04.360
<v Speaker 2>Yes, like you know, not for me, not like a

0:29:04.440 --> 0:29:06.480
<v Speaker 2>huge cry. But if I lived in New York for

0:29:06.480 --> 0:29:08.560
<v Speaker 2>a while and I would see people cry on the

0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:12.640
<v Speaker 2>subway all the time, yeah, and no one, no one.

0:29:13.080 --> 0:29:15.960
<v Speaker 1>No one. Yeah, I'd be like walking around New York

0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:18.600
<v Speaker 1>loss like crying my eyes out, like so sad because

0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:20.280
<v Speaker 1>I just moved there and I was feeling a bit lonely,

0:29:20.920 --> 0:29:22.720
<v Speaker 1>like snotty and literally.

0:29:23.560 --> 0:29:26.600
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, totally fine, totally fine.

0:29:26.440 --> 0:29:27.200
<v Speaker 1>That's oblivious.

0:29:27.360 --> 0:29:29.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's where I learned that crying in public was

0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:30.440
<v Speaker 2>completely okay.

0:29:31.160 --> 0:29:33.040
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to be going to relationships a little bit

0:29:33.400 --> 0:29:36.520
<v Speaker 1>because obviously when people have been through some sort of trauma,

0:29:36.600 --> 0:29:40.560
<v Speaker 1>especially sexual trauma, it were really difficult to trust again

0:29:40.840 --> 0:29:44.600
<v Speaker 1>trust their body in another relationship and create a connection.

0:29:45.120 --> 0:29:47.000
<v Speaker 1>Could you speak to that a little bit, or speak

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:48.520
<v Speaker 1>to anybody who's been through that?

0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, I think there's an emotional component, and then

0:29:53.160 --> 0:29:56.640
<v Speaker 2>I also think that there's a physical component that we

0:29:56.680 --> 0:30:00.360
<v Speaker 2>don't always think about. So in terms of getting physically

0:30:00.440 --> 0:30:02.560
<v Speaker 2>intimate with someone again, your body can get kind of

0:30:02.600 --> 0:30:06.440
<v Speaker 2>stuck in like a bracing pattern. If you've experienced sexual trauma.

0:30:07.080 --> 0:30:09.880
<v Speaker 2>Sexual trauma. We don't really acknowledge this, but it's like

0:30:09.880 --> 0:30:13.240
<v Speaker 2>a capital T trauma. It is not a light trauma.

0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:16.880
<v Speaker 2>It's just so frequent and it happens to so many

0:30:16.920 --> 0:30:21.560
<v Speaker 2>women that we kind of just go on with our lives,

0:30:21.640 --> 0:30:26.320
<v Speaker 2>probably without enough healing after it. Not everyone, but for

0:30:26.360 --> 0:30:28.480
<v Speaker 2>me when I experienced it, like not enough healing right

0:30:28.520 --> 0:30:31.440
<v Speaker 2>after it. That can cause your body to get stuck

0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 2>in this bracing pattern or in this holding pattern. You

0:30:35.080 --> 0:30:38.080
<v Speaker 2>might feel really hyper vigilant where you're like constantly scanning,

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:40.800
<v Speaker 2>and so when you're in a relationship, it's really hard

0:30:41.040 --> 0:30:46.479
<v Speaker 2>to reconnect to feeling relaxed and intimacy you've been through that,

0:30:46.640 --> 0:30:50.360
<v Speaker 2>because even though mentally you know that this person is

0:30:50.400 --> 0:30:54.080
<v Speaker 2>a different person, I am consenting to this and I

0:30:54.120 --> 0:30:57.360
<v Speaker 2>want this to happen, it can your body can just

0:30:57.440 --> 0:31:00.719
<v Speaker 2>be kind of stuck in this place, like kind of

0:31:00.840 --> 0:31:06.040
<v Speaker 2>PTSD place or yeah, or like a stress physiology, and

0:31:06.080 --> 0:31:07.880
<v Speaker 2>I think that that for a lot of people is

0:31:07.880 --> 0:31:11.240
<v Speaker 2>the missing link in their healing and in their ability

0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:15.959
<v Speaker 2>to re establish that vulnerability and that connection with someone.

0:31:16.760 --> 0:31:19.360
<v Speaker 2>And then there's the emotional component where it just takes

0:31:19.400 --> 0:31:22.520
<v Speaker 2>longer to trust someone. You might need to move a

0:31:22.520 --> 0:31:26.080
<v Speaker 2>little bit slower, you might need to have more validation,

0:31:26.400 --> 0:31:31.480
<v Speaker 2>more assurance to be able to really feel like we're

0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:35.120
<v Speaker 2>partners and to fall in love again. You're just more

0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:38.280
<v Speaker 2>cautious and rightfully so of course, yeah, of course.

0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:41.600
<v Speaker 1>How do people tell the difference between having just really

0:31:41.600 --> 0:31:44.360
<v Speaker 1>good chemistry with someone and being trauma bonded, Because I

0:31:44.360 --> 0:31:47.080
<v Speaker 1>feel like sometimes they can for some reason feel very

0:31:47.080 --> 0:31:49.280
<v Speaker 1>confusing or not knowing the difference.

0:31:49.960 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 2>I would say the pacing of it is a really

0:31:53.520 --> 0:31:58.840
<v Speaker 2>good indicator. So if you like immediately share your whole

0:31:58.880 --> 0:32:04.800
<v Speaker 2>life story and you know you're instantly like connected, and

0:32:04.840 --> 0:32:09.800
<v Speaker 2>then the relationship moves really quickly, that is probably a

0:32:09.880 --> 0:32:14.760
<v Speaker 2>sign of a trauma bond, Whereas if you move more

0:32:14.840 --> 0:32:18.560
<v Speaker 2>gradually and like it takes a little bit more time

0:32:18.680 --> 0:32:21.520
<v Speaker 2>for some of that more vulnerable stuff to come out,

0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:27.320
<v Speaker 2>then it's generally a really healthy, solid foundation. I was

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:32.880
<v Speaker 2>in a narcissistic marriage, got divorced, and I took a

0:32:32.920 --> 0:32:35.360
<v Speaker 2>year off of dating, and when I started dating again,

0:32:35.400 --> 0:32:38.400
<v Speaker 2>I asked my therapist for advice because I was like,

0:32:38.480 --> 0:32:41.920
<v Speaker 2>how much do I share about this? I don't want

0:32:41.960 --> 0:32:45.000
<v Speaker 2>to not share about it at all, but I also

0:32:45.040 --> 0:32:48.120
<v Speaker 2>don't want to like come off like, you know, date one,

0:32:48.200 --> 0:32:53.480
<v Speaker 2>date two, disclosing this information. And my therapist told me, like,

0:32:53.680 --> 0:32:56.320
<v Speaker 2>you don't have to talk about it right away, you know,

0:32:56.480 --> 0:32:59.920
<v Speaker 2>take your time and establish a connection first. And if

0:33:00.440 --> 0:33:04.480
<v Speaker 2>someone asks you about a past relationship that was really

0:33:04.520 --> 0:33:06.680
<v Speaker 2>difficult for you, you can say, I was in a

0:33:06.720 --> 0:33:09.320
<v Speaker 2>relationship that was difficult and I've learned a lot from it,

0:33:10.680 --> 0:33:13.360
<v Speaker 2>And that's a really great way of just introducing that

0:33:13.640 --> 0:33:17.440
<v Speaker 2>something may have happened and I've done some work afterwards

0:33:17.720 --> 0:33:19.280
<v Speaker 2>to be able to move on.

0:33:20.200 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 1>That must have been so difficult. How long were you

0:33:21.800 --> 0:33:24.200
<v Speaker 1>in that relationship? Was it a long marriage that you

0:33:24.240 --> 0:33:24.720
<v Speaker 1>were in.

0:33:24.880 --> 0:33:27.600
<v Speaker 2>We were married for three years, Okay? Yeah.

0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:29.400
<v Speaker 1>Did it take quite a while and a lot of

0:33:29.400 --> 0:33:33.959
<v Speaker 1>healing afterwards to help you get into dating in another relationship?

0:33:34.120 --> 0:33:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it took. I took a full year off of

0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:40.960
<v Speaker 2>dating and then even finding a new partner took some time,

0:33:41.440 --> 0:33:44.800
<v Speaker 2>and my current partner and I have been together for

0:33:44.840 --> 0:33:48.680
<v Speaker 2>three and a half years. We just moved in together. Okay,

0:33:48.960 --> 0:33:52.960
<v Speaker 2>so it's been a very slow, steady build and she's

0:33:53.040 --> 0:33:57.120
<v Speaker 2>been very supportive of me and just has given me

0:33:57.200 --> 0:34:01.320
<v Speaker 2>a lot of space, which is like very attractive, so lovely.

0:34:01.280 --> 0:34:04.480
<v Speaker 1>But also like taking it slow. It's just at least,

0:34:04.480 --> 0:34:07.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's like the steady pace and all of

0:34:07.320 --> 0:34:09.239
<v Speaker 1>that feels good to your nervous system after you've been

0:34:09.239 --> 0:34:12.080
<v Speaker 1>through something that's so intense, and so I feel like

0:34:12.120 --> 0:34:14.480
<v Speaker 1>that probably felt a lot safer and a lot more

0:34:14.520 --> 0:34:19.600
<v Speaker 1>manageable than getting too fast, too deep into something. Yeah,

0:34:19.680 --> 0:34:21.600
<v Speaker 1>you have your book When the Body Speaks. We've got

0:34:21.600 --> 0:34:23.680
<v Speaker 1>it up here right now. Tell us a little bit

0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:26.359
<v Speaker 1>about it, what brought you to write it, and what

0:34:26.400 --> 0:34:27.720
<v Speaker 1>can people expect from the book.

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:35.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So Somatox has kind of historically been books about

0:34:35.120 --> 0:34:38.160
<v Speaker 2>somatics have historically been written by older men who are

0:34:38.400 --> 0:34:42.600
<v Speaker 2>researchers and doctors. So that the Body Keeps the Score

0:34:42.719 --> 0:34:45.920
<v Speaker 2>by doctor Bessel vai Ercolk. There's Waking This Tiger by

0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:48.120
<v Speaker 2>doctor Peter Levine. And both of these books are like

0:34:48.160 --> 0:34:53.719
<v Speaker 2>really important and seminal foundational for the field, and my

0:34:53.800 --> 0:34:56.200
<v Speaker 2>publisher really wanted me to write a book because they

0:34:56.280 --> 0:35:00.680
<v Speaker 2>kind of see me as the next chapter of somatics survivor.

0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:05.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm someone who's been through all of that, and I

0:35:05.440 --> 0:35:09.040
<v Speaker 2>do talk about my story more publicly, so they see

0:35:09.160 --> 0:35:13.200
<v Speaker 2>that it's very relatable. I'm a millennial woman, so they

0:35:13.320 --> 0:35:18.239
<v Speaker 2>kind of want this new face of somatics, how it

0:35:18.280 --> 0:35:20.520
<v Speaker 2>can be more relatable to modern culture.

0:35:20.640 --> 0:35:22.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what kind of things do you cover in your book?

0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:25.839
<v Speaker 2>There's three parts. Part one is my story and how

0:35:25.840 --> 0:35:31.560
<v Speaker 2>I discovered somatics. Part two is ten of my students' stories,

0:35:32.160 --> 0:35:35.160
<v Speaker 2>and through their stories, we also illustrate the science of

0:35:35.200 --> 0:35:37.839
<v Speaker 2>how stress and trauma gets stored in your body and

0:35:38.000 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 2>nervous system dysregulation and hormonal imbalances that happen as a

0:35:43.040 --> 0:35:47.240
<v Speaker 2>result of that. And then part three are my favorite,

0:35:47.280 --> 0:35:53.760
<v Speaker 2>like little mini routines nice for sleep, gut issues, anger release,

0:35:54.120 --> 0:35:58.120
<v Speaker 2>stress release, and there are photos and explanations of the

0:35:58.160 --> 0:35:59.440
<v Speaker 2>exercises and parts.

0:35:59.239 --> 0:36:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Amazing, really simple but so useful. Yeah, if there was

0:36:03.360 --> 0:36:05.000
<v Speaker 1>one thing you wanted people to take away from this

0:36:05.040 --> 0:36:08.439
<v Speaker 1>podcast about somatic healing, what would it be? What would

0:36:08.480 --> 0:36:09.239
<v Speaker 1>you want them to know.

0:36:09.600 --> 0:36:13.160
<v Speaker 2>Your body isn't broken. It's just trying to protect you.

0:36:13.719 --> 0:36:17.480
<v Speaker 2>So if you're experiencing long term pain, or if you

0:36:17.520 --> 0:36:21.080
<v Speaker 2>can't sleep well, or if you feel constantly bloated, or

0:36:21.120 --> 0:36:24.480
<v Speaker 2>you have a random food allergy that you can't figure

0:36:24.480 --> 0:36:27.600
<v Speaker 2>out with the doctor, your body's not broken and you

0:36:27.640 --> 0:36:31.759
<v Speaker 2>won't stay stuck in that place. You just need to

0:36:32.000 --> 0:36:34.320
<v Speaker 2>find a way to get it back to its baseline

0:36:34.320 --> 0:36:36.280
<v Speaker 2>and get it out of its stress response.

0:36:36.520 --> 0:36:39.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so, I know sometimes when you're going through things,

0:36:39.040 --> 0:36:41.879
<v Speaker 1>it can feels so permanent, Yes, And to know that

0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:44.319
<v Speaker 1>things are temporary and that you can move through them.

0:36:44.400 --> 0:36:46.399
<v Speaker 1>It just sometimes you just need a little bit of hope,

0:36:46.440 --> 0:36:48.359
<v Speaker 1>Like you need someone to say that to you, Yeah,

0:36:48.680 --> 0:36:52.279
<v Speaker 1>to remind you that, Okay, this chronic pain, this hair

0:36:52.320 --> 0:36:56.440
<v Speaker 1>loss is, whatever it is, it's possible to heal as

0:36:56.480 --> 0:36:59.560
<v Speaker 1>possible for it, and it's not just through the conventional way.

0:36:59.680 --> 0:37:03.279
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes we get told no wrong so many you know,

0:37:03.440 --> 0:37:06.800
<v Speaker 1>people that you're told to trust, and then you realize

0:37:06.800 --> 0:37:08.520
<v Speaker 1>that there might be other pasts or other routes to

0:37:08.560 --> 0:37:09.720
<v Speaker 1>help heal that issue.

0:37:09.960 --> 0:37:13.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Absolutely, Thank you so much, Thank you so much.

0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:15.920
<v Speaker 1>This is amazing. Thank you for all your wonderful tips

0:37:15.960 --> 0:37:19.640
<v Speaker 1>and everybody go grab when the body speaks. How somatic

0:37:19.719 --> 0:37:20.719
<v Speaker 1>healing sets you free.

0:37:21.239 --> 0:37:22.200
<v Speaker 2>Thanks, thank you,