Speaker 1: This is cut to it with Steve Smith Senior at
Speaker 1: production of The Black Effect and I Heart Radio. I'm
Speaker 1: Steve Smith Senior and I'm John and this is cut
Speaker 1: to it. Good do it, Good do that's getting down
Speaker 1: to do it? Good do it. We asked the questions
Speaker 1: you always want to know, but no one ever asked,
Speaker 1: let's cut to it. You ain't heard about it. Then
Speaker 1: we're about to let you know. It's all almost there.
Speaker 1: I'm almost there, almost the Smithy man, let's cut right
Speaker 1: to it. Hey, hey, hey, you're doing good. I guess
Speaker 1: so cool. I just have to yeah. And it's it's
Speaker 1: it's that time of year. Were with a lot of things,
Speaker 1: a lot of things. If you I'll tell you it's
Speaker 1: one of those times where you know, I know, your
Speaker 1: appearances are starting to pick up, and it's want to
Speaker 1: travel a little bit more worse, things are starting to
Speaker 1: lighten up. But we've had a little bit of conversation.
Speaker 1: What's a what's a common misconception when you're doing either
Speaker 1: speaking events or appearances or whatever it is for maybe
Speaker 1: a sponsor, what's a misconception when you show up to
Speaker 1: an event or whatever that whatever that event is? Great question,
Speaker 1: multiple things. One, Uh, I'm taller aside from the physical Yeah,
Speaker 1: people like, oh you're talling what I thought than when
Speaker 1: they when they when they give you some credit on
Speaker 1: you know, they're like, I thought you expect me to be.
Speaker 1: I take that as a straight up compliment, sull. I
Speaker 1: don't know you said taller right. Um. The other is, uh,
Speaker 1: oh you you you a little a little thick, like
Speaker 1: a like a football player, like, oh, yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I kind of did. Um. And this is the one
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily know how to take it. Take it
Speaker 1: as a backhanded compliment. Mm hmm. You're a lot different
Speaker 1: than what I expected. And I'm not sure what they
Speaker 1: expected and what do they mean by that, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I take it as a maybe you're not as stupid
Speaker 1: as I thought, or um, you speak so well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I've heard you speak. You don't really sound
Speaker 1: well like uneducated on the phone. You know. You know
Speaker 1: how it is when you're certain, when you show up
Speaker 1: for certain things and you actually speak, people are shocking
Speaker 1: and you actually are educated in the things that come
Speaker 1: out of your mouth. So you know what, I think
Speaker 1: I want to show up to event as one day
Speaker 1: in the suit just sagging, sagging bag and berry in
Speaker 1: the suit. You're gonna be abody back for that one. No,
Speaker 1: why is passed down? What a designer belt walking right now? People? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are the what are the the I guess those
Speaker 1: misconceptions for sure. I was in there. I have been
Speaker 1: in a meeting where you know, I've been told that
Speaker 1: if I don't know, if I can't catch football, wouldn't
Speaker 1: be his meet. I was. It was. I was in
Speaker 1: actually in a financial meeting um with a guy who
Speaker 1: told me, and I hate being in business meetings and
Speaker 1: people say, well, let me, uh, let me break it
Speaker 1: down for you, as if you didn't get it the
Speaker 1: first time. Oh no, let me go deeper. Please don't
Speaker 1: cut me off. Wait, touche, let me get your football
Speaker 1: in the house. What do you mean a football? Analogy?
Speaker 1: Were talking about business like you ain't gonna be able
Speaker 1: to understand it another way, and so, uh my, my
Speaker 1: financial guy d c uh he when he's hears that
Speaker 1: and they do that, he always puts his head down.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh damn, they just messed up this deal.
Speaker 1: I've had people in a financial meeting talking about stocks, bonds,
Speaker 1: mutual funds, passive income assets, them being the liability. Let
Speaker 1: me break this down for football, and then they try
Speaker 1: to well, you know I'm the quarterback. Oh god, you
Speaker 1: know it sounds horrible, right, And you know, I know
Speaker 1: your wide receiver, but you know we're gonna let someone
Speaker 1: else be the wide receiver. And you know you be
Speaker 1: the lineman, Rich I'm not blocking. Well I gotta be
Speaker 1: the lineman. Why does it have to be a football analogy?
Speaker 1: Why can't we just are you making me passive income?
Speaker 1: Soccer bottom line? So i've they didn't they didn't think
Speaker 1: you would know that. But then what was even great
Speaker 1: about this is I think, oh, hey, oh seven. We
Speaker 1: were at a at a we were in New York
Speaker 1: and and we were at lunch and they start talking
Speaker 1: all that stuff. Then right before he goes to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: I said, well, you know, what's the raider on the return? Like,
Speaker 1: you know, what do you guys projecting? And you know,
Speaker 1: do you guys have numbers? And he goes, well, you know,
Speaker 1: I got use your bathroom, but just let you know, um,
Speaker 1: I mean really, you know, we're just getting started. And
Speaker 1: then he went to the bathroom. I looked at me,
Speaker 1: I looked at d C. I said, what did you
Speaker 1: hear what he said? He says, I didn't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't know they want to be be their first client.
Speaker 1: They didn't even have performa. So you thought they thought
Speaker 1: that you were just gonna walk in there and just
Speaker 1: fall in love whatever they were gonna say, And you
Speaker 1: were supposed to just fall forward because you some sort
Speaker 1: of dumb jock, or you you're not you're not prepared
Speaker 1: for the meeting, or you don't have the information. They
Speaker 1: had nothing. All they have was they didn't even the
Speaker 1: sad part, the projections they had were not even real
Speaker 1: projections because they had no performer. They had no actual
Speaker 1: history to be able to say what they could have
Speaker 1: projected for future earnings because you know, over the last
Speaker 1: couple of years, this is what they've done. So as
Speaker 1: you've as you've got an older, now you mature, because
Speaker 1: I've heard you talk about this before. But as you've
Speaker 1: got an older, do you still sway to not necessarily
Speaker 1: get people what they expect? But now you're now you're
Speaker 1: more so? But do you think now more so? Are
Speaker 1: you trying to now break that stigma? Oh? Actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: as you're older now I have to because you because
Speaker 1: I get. Then it just shows how stupid I am,
Speaker 1: because then I start to play into the narrative. So
Speaker 1: now you know, I make sure I present myself well.
Speaker 1: If I'm in a business meeting, I wear maybe jeans
Speaker 1: or you know, some slacks and a collar shirt. I
Speaker 1: still wear my hat flipped up, hating you know. Some
Speaker 1: I don't wear tennis shoes. I wear you know, I
Speaker 1: wearh some vans or some some casual shoes. Um. But
Speaker 1: I am cognizant of making sure that when I come
Speaker 1: to the meeting, I don't come um like I just
Speaker 1: came out of the gym. And so I do believe
Speaker 1: because also too is I also represent my family, and
Speaker 1: so I got to make sure that I don't present
Speaker 1: myself that in a way either way that I come unprepared. Right,
Speaker 1: I come with and come with a pen and paper,
Speaker 1: be able to take notes or if I hear something
Speaker 1: that possibly rings a bell or I need more clarification
Speaker 1: on you know, I have. I have that. So I
Speaker 1: always make sure I come with a no pad and
Speaker 1: give him that dedicated time. Dope man, breaking those misconceptions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but sometimes it is, But sometimes it is fun to
Speaker 1: kind of play into the narrative because they will, you know,
Speaker 1: Like there has been times where I played the angry
Speaker 1: black man sometimes at the meeting because it's just kind
Speaker 1: of cool to see him like get stuck down, like
Speaker 1: what do we do. I'll just trying, just playing. I
Speaker 1: won't kill you, I won't I don't care. I won't care.
Speaker 1: I won't care. I won't shoot you. But if you're
Speaker 1: still from out y'all, I whoop you as you just
Speaker 1: gotta play it a little sometimes, right, But it's funny
Speaker 1: as uh d c my my financial guy. I told him, um,
Speaker 1: back in the day, I used to watch it. I
Speaker 1: used to come from like from practice when he used
Speaker 1: to be downtown. So I literally would get off the
Speaker 1: practice field, jumping in my car and run to his
Speaker 1: office and watch him put in a call or put
Speaker 1: or put in the stock. And I will watch him
Speaker 1: do it. Because you don't want to be the uninformed nona.
Speaker 1: I told him if he stole with me, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: told him, if you stole with me, I won't call
Speaker 1: the police. I come to got come to your house
Speaker 1: and get my money and some other folks money too.
Speaker 1: And he was like, well, Schmidt, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: notice that I said, okay, and so, but that's a
Speaker 1: running joke. He's been my guy ever since. But I
Speaker 1: used to I used to literally go over there and
Speaker 1: watch him and well schools. I actually intern intern under him. Uh,
Speaker 1: but I was a different intern because when you got
Speaker 1: a couple of millions and he's you'm his intern. I
Speaker 1: ain't getting your coffee. I ain't gonna be These entry
Speaker 1: level job responsibilities don't really apply to me. Like you
Speaker 1: could listen, I'll call being, I'll do this, and I'll
Speaker 1: do spreasheets. But getting you ask coffee, no, sir, get
Speaker 1: your own coffee. Actually you're asking get me some car
Speaker 1: because I'm still in the crimp sugar please. So, hey,
Speaker 1: who we got coming up on the Cut to It podcast.
Speaker 1: We've got Mohammed Massa Kuai, five year NFL veteran, a
Speaker 1: graduate of the University of Georgia, an entrepreneur, graduate from
Speaker 1: the Harvard Business School, and just overall good dude. Mohammed
Speaker 1: Massaki on the Cut to A Podcast. Mohammed, thanks for
Speaker 1: joining the Cut to A Podcast anytime, man, y'all some
Speaker 1: of my favorite people, so sure, thank you. Our first
Speaker 1: segment that we do mo is called get iced up
Speaker 1: and Smithy will hit you with the first question. All right,
Speaker 1: all right, here we go. You're ready, let's go. All right?
Speaker 1: Do you believe money can or can't buy happiness? Yeah? Oh,
Speaker 1: that's a good, good question. I think that if you're happy,
Speaker 1: it will allow you to do certain things that bring
Speaker 1: happiness to other people. If you're unhappy, naturally they're gonna
Speaker 1: be unhappy with money. M M, yeah, it is money
Speaker 1: makes you more of what you already are. Right, let's go.
Speaker 1: Let's go down the list. If you're ugly, you're just
Speaker 1: ugly with money, right. If you're stingy, you're just stinging
Speaker 1: you with money. If you're greedy or selfish, you're just
Speaker 1: a selfish person with money. Right, So money cannot improve
Speaker 1: your situation if you have a poor point of view, Um,
Speaker 1: would you rather be a boss or employee? Oh? Boss
Speaker 1: for real? I mean you gotta control your own destiny.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of people leadership positions, and I don't
Speaker 1: always lead, right m. You want to be able to
Speaker 1: influence the trajectory where you go and hopefully bring other
Speaker 1: people along with you. If you've been shocked. If someone
Speaker 1: would say employee, sometimes I want to be employee. I
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes the boss says would be like the
Speaker 1: social media answering, Like everyone on social media wants to
Speaker 1: be a boss, but to your point, you know they're not.
Speaker 1: You know what I hate more than anything. Mo, Would
Speaker 1: you agree with this because we'll get into it later.
Speaker 1: But you're a boss, but you have been, like me,
Speaker 1: been an employee. Yeah. Man, there are some days when
Speaker 1: the when the mortgage or the loan payment is due. Brother,
Speaker 1: want to be employee? I get it. I mean I
Speaker 1: get it. It depends on which lends you look out
Speaker 1: of it with. Yeah, you gotta be wired a certain
Speaker 1: way because things just like any glamorous when you yourself,
Speaker 1: you got other people under you. But like that kind
Speaker 1: of responsibilities, there's things that you're accountable for. It's not
Speaker 1: the fake version of social media where people are written
Speaker 1: stuff and just taking pictures at things they're not at,
Speaker 1: like when you're really there, Like you know, there's there's
Speaker 1: people that that depend on you. So when that comes
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure, everyone says boss, but they don't
Speaker 1: want the responsibility of boss. Not heavy as a head.
Speaker 1: M h, all right, A few more. Does truth exist
Speaker 1: without evidence? I think sometimes people know now what they
Speaker 1: do with the truth is a whole different animal. But
Speaker 1: I think I think people know um deep down inside.
Speaker 1: So does it exist without evidence? Though, man you need
Speaker 1: It depends like some people want evidence just to say
Speaker 1: that they I got you U or now I know
Speaker 1: for sure. But sometimes you're intuition. Sometimes even the fact
Speaker 1: that you question and something kid can can mean that
Speaker 1: you know, that's that's truthful enough. If you don't trust
Speaker 1: something a way, UM, you know that that that may
Speaker 1: be an indicator whether you have evidence or not. UM
Speaker 1: to act accordingly to what your gut is telling you.
Speaker 1: I like that, I don't like that. So this is
Speaker 1: the last one. Now, this one is gonna throw you
Speaker 1: for a loop, But just sit back, all right. Let's
Speaker 1: getting to get into your character. Are you ready? I'm
Speaker 1: ready for it? Which character? I don't know? Depending? This
Speaker 1: question is gonna tell on you. This question is gonna
Speaker 1: tell you. Are you character? Are you know? Is Mohammed
Speaker 1: gonna answer or is massa answer? It's hope one or
Speaker 1: the other. That's all you got, all right? So you're
Speaker 1: about to get into a fight. What song comes on
Speaker 1: as your soundtrack? I'm about to get into a fight.
Speaker 1: You're about to get to a fight. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: a Molly Wap knuckle knuckle right where in the alley
Speaker 1: in the phone booth, fi fighting the phone booth? What soundtrack?
Speaker 1: Come zone bang. I'm gonna have to take it back
Speaker 1: like either like nuck if you buck or that's what
Speaker 1: I just like a lot of people get to ask
Speaker 1: if you buck back in the college days, so he
Speaker 1: might be he might be on something you don't like.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a fake one that now. I just
Speaker 1: think it tastes too long to get hyped though. Oh
Speaker 1: you won't shopping, that's just like reckless from the start,
Speaker 1: where you gotta put on some like you ain't got time,
Speaker 1: but hold on, hold on home, he skipping. Get get
Speaker 1: past the first twenty seconds. Get me to you know,
Speaker 1: I used to have a teammates say he got to
Speaker 1: put on something Gucci, and he used to always say,
Speaker 1: it's the beat, so it wouldn't even be nothing that
Speaker 1: Gucci said. It was just whatever is they told and
Speaker 1: put on the beat is what put him in the movie.
Speaker 1: So okay, that's just good. You gotta ask what y'all
Speaker 1: y'all it's the two right now? If you buck back,
Speaker 1: what what are you'll playing right now? Off real? I
Speaker 1: got d m X which one? It don't matter, like,
Speaker 1: how's it going down? As soon as it I'm dodge
Speaker 1: right with some type of uh manslaughter charges you know
Speaker 1: how m or like or tupac on me as soon
Speaker 1: as the beat go, you know for me California love Listen,
Speaker 1: I'm an easy date on the fist fight. It don't
Speaker 1: really take much. I whooped. Somebody asks right now with
Speaker 1: a with Purple Rain plan. Yeah, that's that's that's the thing, like,
Speaker 1: that's that's gonna that ain't no one fight and done.
Speaker 1: That's gonna stand to a couple of days. You start
Speaker 1: playing that type of music right there. I mean, think
Speaker 1: about it. If you get Molly wapped listen in the
Speaker 1: Purple Rain, you ain't coming back you you already wanted
Speaker 1: them sappers dudes. It reminds me of the last dance
Speaker 1: where MJ was listening to Kenny Lattim over before. They
Speaker 1: don't take much as you are in a different type
Speaker 1: of assassin to you listen to Kenny Lattimer for a game. Man,
Speaker 1: you are you are straight up right there? Ye whoop
Speaker 1: you up with encyclopedia. Yeah, Kenny g We'll hit you
Speaker 1: with the encyclopedia exes too. I don't even know what's
Speaker 1: in the X, but that's that's one of them. You'd
Speaker 1: be like, Bro, you got it. I ain't. I ain't
Speaker 1: even trying too with you today. It's like, Brian, I
Speaker 1: ain't even got time today. That was fun. You feel
Speaker 1: I feel warmed up? Do you feel warmed up? I
Speaker 1: love it? Man. That's that's probably like the dopest way
Speaker 1: to enter into one of these things that I have
Speaker 1: to say. You'll introductions better than anybody I've been with
Speaker 1: and break all the tension, all the ice. We're not
Speaker 1: getting any gotcha. I mean, look, it's an open book
Speaker 1: test about yourself. If you failed, that's when you you
Speaker 1: had the necessary instructions in front of It's like you
Speaker 1: can't get the first four hundred points on the S
Speaker 1: A T which is your name. Look, you don't deserve
Speaker 1: to be in college. Okay, exactly? All right? So this
Speaker 1: is this is what we love doing. We we can
Speaker 1: ask this a million ways and we get two million
Speaker 1: different answers. So where are you from and the place
Speaker 1: you call your hometown? Oh that's easy, man. From from
Speaker 1: the Queen city from Charlotte. Grew up in Head and Valley,
Speaker 1: you know, right in between Trying and Sugar Creek, and
Speaker 1: so home will always be the city. How did your
Speaker 1: hometown Charlotte impact and shape your perspective on how you
Speaker 1: see the world today. That's complex, just because I'm like
Speaker 1: verying too, and so I grew up in like this
Speaker 1: this weirdness of half of my I'm spent was around
Speaker 1: Liberian cultures. The other half was spent in you know,
Speaker 1: the Charlotte culture. And so I think this this view
Speaker 1: of the world of just being like an immigrant in
Speaker 1: the city, um, and having these two perspectives have have
Speaker 1: allowed me, you know, to to be able to identify
Speaker 1: with people from from everywhere. And also I got a
Speaker 1: lot of pride and around from and so I take
Speaker 1: that pride with me everywhere, even though I live in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: I'm grounded by the things that I learned that Charlotte.
Speaker 1: How did those two dynamics different than you talk about
Speaker 1: Liberian culture and then just growing up here in Charlotte,
Speaker 1: were they sometimes wanted the same that they sometimes but
Speaker 1: heads now I think it's all love, like it's just
Speaker 1: expressed differently, you know where um, I don't have no
Speaker 1: natural born brothers for the people that I grew up with,
Speaker 1: especially through sports, uh, from all around the city. There's
Speaker 1: just a lot of a lot of love. And with
Speaker 1: Liberia is very tribal um. And so it's the same
Speaker 1: manifestation of love just in a different capacity. Uh. From food,
Speaker 1: you know, we did a lot of we call the
Speaker 1: fish rise and different things like that, whether it be
Speaker 1: African foods would be equivalent to like a black cookout. Um.
Speaker 1: And so just that aspect of you know, music, we
Speaker 1: kind of had to pull from all over the place
Speaker 1: because j Cole wasn't around, the baby wasn't around there. Uh,
Speaker 1: And so Charlotte kind of gave us like a a
Speaker 1: mix on different aspects of things that we just kind
Speaker 1: of made into our own. And the Liberia obviously um
Speaker 1: a lot more established culturally and so intertwining that has
Speaker 1: kind of shaped me to people to put the person
Speaker 1: I am. Now we have to take a break and
Speaker 1: the morning anything, we gotta pay some bills. I love
Speaker 1: cut to it, and I love it even more when
Speaker 1: you download us and subscribe ends. You can follow us
Speaker 1: on social media too. Smithie where where at that's at?
Speaker 1: Cut to it on Instagram, what about Twitter at cut
Speaker 1: to It Facebook, cut to It featuring Steve Smith sing
Speaker 1: your what about online and you can follow us at
Speaker 1: cut to It podcast dot com where you can buy
Speaker 1: merch and you can subscribe to us wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to podcasts. I got all my answers questions. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got all my questions answered. That's what I'm here for,
Speaker 1: a brother, cut to a podcast dot com. Just walk
Speaker 1: us through that though. The tribal the the immigrant culture
Speaker 1: that you had to deal with growing up in Charlotte,
Speaker 1: which is a very vibrant immigrant culture already here in
Speaker 1: Charlotte that a lot of people not do not know exists. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're from l A right, yes, sir, so just think
Speaker 1: of like people from Long Beach got a different, different
Speaker 1: pride about Long Reaching, people from Compton likewise, people from
Speaker 1: like other aspects and so in Liberia and a lot
Speaker 1: of these countries, um to have these tribal aspects, Like
Speaker 1: the area that you're from is just really condensed with
Speaker 1: you just do things differently. There's an overall arching um
Speaker 1: support of the country at large. But then like the
Speaker 1: type of purposing that you represent, that the values that
Speaker 1: you represent the come with it. Each culture has different
Speaker 1: things that are unique to themselves. And so actually, um,
Speaker 1: I was having a conversation with my dad about this,
Speaker 1: and they're big on history, they're big on what what
Speaker 1: they stand for. And we end up getting our DNA
Speaker 1: test And so I called my dad before the DNA
Speaker 1: test and he told me, like, the complete family lineage
Speaker 1: from our people coming from Moley and Sullland to Liberia,
Speaker 1: Avred cult surely on all of that stuff. And the
Speaker 1: DNA report reported all of that. And so when he's
Speaker 1: given me advice, so when I'm talking to my folks,
Speaker 1: they're filtering it through what their ancestors told them. And
Speaker 1: I think and having that groundedness of the highest form
Speaker 1: of yourself, you are expected just to do amazing things.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes people that don't have that connection
Speaker 1: to where they're from, they're kind of influenced by things
Speaker 1: that are lesser degree themselves, and so they get involved
Speaker 1: in things that are are are pushed upon them versus
Speaker 1: being able to identify with the highest form of whatever
Speaker 1: if people represent, and so, um, those lessons has just
Speaker 1: been pushed towards us. You know, how you're supposed to function,
Speaker 1: how you're supposed to treat people, what you represent, what
Speaker 1: your name means, UM, why you hear, um, what you're
Speaker 1: supposed to do. All all of that is kind of
Speaker 1: what I mean from the tribal aspects. So it's not
Speaker 1: just I identified with being from Charlotte and the pride
Speaker 1: of that, but it's it's like just a little bit
Speaker 1: more um when it comes to how I want to
Speaker 1: move around in life. You just broke that down and
Speaker 1: I love it. So what based off the conversation you
Speaker 1: had with your dad? Based off everything you just said?
Speaker 1: What does your name mean? Man? So that's actually crazy
Speaker 1: because he's doing this forced him to have a deep
Speaker 1: dive and um, just like understanding the actual name where
Speaker 1: there's two versions. One he thinks it's like the head
Speaker 1: of the garden and you know, like people live off
Speaker 1: the land there, so that's an important title. So if
Speaker 1: like you're the head, you know, leader of the garden,
Speaker 1: and you're responsive for making sure that everybody eats, everybody
Speaker 1: is supported, everybody is nourished. Um, you know, your your
Speaker 1: body is your temple. And so that's he can't confirm it,
Speaker 1: but that's like the last thing that he told me
Speaker 1: that one of his you know cousins had heard from
Speaker 1: somebody else, but he's doing some diving in there. But
Speaker 1: it comes with the title of being a leader. That
Speaker 1: comes with the title of doing certain things. And so
Speaker 1: back to that original like boss or employee. It is
Speaker 1: almost like you're predisposed to be this thing because of
Speaker 1: the responsibility that your your family name has has carried
Speaker 1: and by default We've always had those conversations mean him
Speaker 1: my mom about being a leader and not being a follower.
Speaker 1: And now I'm starting to understand more of the the
Speaker 1: meaning behind that. From a name standpoint, I wonder how
Speaker 1: the influence of having immigrant parents but also living in
Speaker 1: an immigrant community here in Charlotte, but also you are
Speaker 1: you are being raised and also influenced positively at home.
Speaker 1: And I was, let's be honest, a little bit negatively
Speaker 1: um out in public. I'm a dad, so I know
Speaker 1: there's sometimes I cringe at what some of the stories
Speaker 1: I hear that my kids are having conversations or or
Speaker 1: or dealing with and having those questions when they come home. Yeah,
Speaker 1: especially the areas that you know we were up in,
Speaker 1: Like when I'm home, I still drafted those areas in
Speaker 1: in thirty years. They haven't changed. You know, you still
Speaker 1: see the same um auto shop. You still see the
Speaker 1: same fast food joints, the same check cash and play. Um.
Speaker 1: They got a light rail going through there, but that's
Speaker 1: not to benefit the people there, is for whenever they gentrified.
Speaker 1: But back to the original question. My my family there
Speaker 1: there from you know, my mom's from a very rural
Speaker 1: part um Liberria. My dad's more from the city. But
Speaker 1: they didn't really interact with a lot of um white people,
Speaker 1: and so the idea of racism or feeling less than
Speaker 1: anybody just didn't exist, like it was just a foreign concept.
Speaker 1: This is before you know, we have instant news and
Speaker 1: ability to get stuff on Google and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: And so there's I was taught there, and nobody higher
Speaker 1: than you. There's nobody loyal. You treat people all with respect,
Speaker 1: you treat people with dignity, but you don't lessen yourself
Speaker 1: for nobody. And you know what talents and gifts you
Speaker 1: bring to the world that Senate and all of us.
Speaker 1: It may shape differently, but you have certain things that
Speaker 1: that you contribute at a high level. So never forget that.
Speaker 1: And so in moving around being influenced by things that
Speaker 1: were last than that. They just didn't appeal to me
Speaker 1: because I knew what my potential was and where I
Speaker 1: was supposed to go. And let's be honest, like, nobody
Speaker 1: want to be in the streets, nobody want to be
Speaker 1: doing dumb stuff. It's just that sometimes that life get
Speaker 1: ahold of you and it becomes your identity and you
Speaker 1: don't know how to shake it. And even when you
Speaker 1: try to shake it, there's certain influences that pull you back.
Speaker 1: And that's because you haven't really identified or tapped into
Speaker 1: the thing that you're supposed to be doing at the
Speaker 1: highest levels. It's why when athletes come up out of
Speaker 1: that situation, they're so productive in the community because they
Speaker 1: finally see like what their potential are. Or you see
Speaker 1: entertainers that come up out of that situation. I just
Speaker 1: think that we've been limited in our exposure to what
Speaker 1: we can be because things that get pushed on us athletes, entertainments.
Speaker 1: But there's people that are gifted at a super high level.
Speaker 1: They just haven't tapped into it because the environments that
Speaker 1: they come from don to support that. But if you're
Speaker 1: grounding themselves and that's been supporting you to express yourself,
Speaker 1: and let your gifts shine in ways that's not reckless
Speaker 1: or harmless to your environment. Then you you become what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to become. But you gotta be rooted or something.
Speaker 1: You don't just figure this out by, you know, wandering
Speaker 1: through life. We're all familiar with Hidden Valley. We're familiar
Speaker 1: with the places that you're from, since we're recording here
Speaker 1: in Charlotte, so we know where you're from. But do
Speaker 1: you credit that your upbringing, what your parents are student
Speaker 1: you for not leading you down the wrong path as
Speaker 1: a kid When you're growing up in those environments, you
Speaker 1: don't know any better. So it's I think people sometimes
Speaker 1: stereotype those environments as if like the whole thing is bad,
Speaker 1: and there's there's so much good there and so I
Speaker 1: take that with me as well. So there's a balance
Speaker 1: of hint, but there's also I mean there's good people
Speaker 1: like how I used to get to practice, you know
Speaker 1: that the neighborhood grandpa driving everybody around and spending time
Speaker 1: with us and telling us different things to how to
Speaker 1: carry yourself, how to take care of your yard, how
Speaker 1: to take care of little things, and so there's things
Speaker 1: that you grow up in that area, and you go
Speaker 1: to school with the people that that end up being
Speaker 1: you know, um that don't pan out the way that
Speaker 1: they're supposed to be, and at some point they went
Speaker 1: off track. I mean we played in the same you know,
Speaker 1: school yards, we ate at the same lunch tables, but
Speaker 1: something happened, And so you can tell that it's it's
Speaker 1: not that people are just born that way. It's just
Speaker 1: sometimes the environment gives a hold of them. But it's
Speaker 1: only a small percentage. It's only a small percentage anywhere
Speaker 1: people that are being reckless. But I think as that
Speaker 1: message is just gets pushed down that you're from here,
Speaker 1: wherever it may be in the world, Compton or South
Speaker 1: Chicago or Liberty City or you know zone, whatever you're from,
Speaker 1: people take that identity and it's the negative identity. But
Speaker 1: just like there's the highest form of expression of being
Speaker 1: from Liberia, there's a highest form of expression of being
Speaker 1: from Component or from being from like the south side
Speaker 1: of the West side of Atlanta, from being hit in Valley,
Speaker 1: from being from you know what's being gentrified now but
Speaker 1: Beties four, like all those areas have the highest form,
Speaker 1: but they're so new that it people haven't had a
Speaker 1: chance to see a whole generation cycle through. Like the
Speaker 1: drug gang stuff didn't happen in the early eighties. I
Speaker 1: think we would have been able to see that. But
Speaker 1: it's kind of like a lost generation because there's a
Speaker 1: people went to jail, people died, other stuff popped up.
Speaker 1: And now I think we're starting to get back to that,
Speaker 1: to where a kid can see, oh, this is what
Speaker 1: Smitty looks like at however old you are. I don't
Speaker 1: want to put on age on you, you know who,
Speaker 1: rather one, So now I can see Smitty would have
Speaker 1: beautiful wife, beautiful kids, have been able to have not
Speaker 1: only the first thing that everybody wants to be, but
Speaker 1: to play at um, play at the highest level in
Speaker 1: the NFL, but also transition into a businessman. Like now
Speaker 1: I can see that, I can see the full cycle.
Speaker 1: We haven't been able to do that before, you know, um,
Speaker 1: so now we're being able to see the full cycle.
Speaker 1: I think people can see, Man, this is dumb. I'm
Speaker 1: not about to be out here acting on reckless when
Speaker 1: I can do it this way. Or look at so
Speaker 1: and so over here they didn't even play sports, but
Speaker 1: they went to school, and now I can see him
Speaker 1: just because we have access to more information before we
Speaker 1: were limited. What were your day dreams about older Mohammed massacre?
Speaker 1: You know, as crazy as my mom. We used to
Speaker 1: drive through South Park and Quail Hollow and I didn't
Speaker 1: get it at the time, but it was my mom.
Speaker 1: She was showing me what life outside of where we
Speaker 1: grew up looked like. And I would always want but
Speaker 1: like what do these people do? Like who are there?
Speaker 1: And obviously you never get the answers to those questions
Speaker 1: because you can't go knock on the door or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I think that was the thing that created like
Speaker 1: a different spark, a different belief that I don't know
Speaker 1: what I want to do, but I want to function
Speaker 1: like this, not only in terms of monetary but just
Speaker 1: the quality of life doing something meaningful, to being able
Speaker 1: to not do laborious jobs that you know you don't
Speaker 1: get appreciated for. And so those early scenes that were
Speaker 1: planning was something that I've always stuck stuck to me,
Speaker 1: that's to being able to see outside of the environment.
Speaker 1: And so I didn't know because I didn't see it,
Speaker 1: but I knew that even like how I approached education
Speaker 1: and what I thought about school once I got to
Speaker 1: college and knew I was going to the league. It
Speaker 1: was one of those things that, all right, even when
Speaker 1: this game is over, I'm gonna make sure that I
Speaker 1: can still function at the highest levels. When your mom
Speaker 1: used to drive you around in South Park and you
Speaker 1: wanted to knock on the door to see what's in there,
Speaker 1: Now I flip it. What about the next Mohammed massa
Speaker 1: quad and he does get the opportunity to knock on
Speaker 1: your door? One do you open it? And two when
Speaker 1: if you open it and let them in, what do
Speaker 1: you what nugget do you give them? You know this
Speaker 1: situation actually happened about it? So, bro, I'm back right now.
Speaker 1: About a month and a half ago, young young boy
Speaker 1: from the other side of the town. He was here
Speaker 1: and he was carrying like a box of stuff that
Speaker 1: he was selling for his youth organization. You in Atlanta,
Speaker 1: in Charlotte, I'm in Atlanta. So he from the west
Speaker 1: side and so he up here and it's crazy he
Speaker 1: came banging on the door. Yeah you got scared, nah Na,
Speaker 1: Like I mean you you gotta know how to talk
Speaker 1: to these kids. So, um, you just put yourself in
Speaker 1: the other If the shoes were I probably would have
Speaker 1: done the same thing too, you know, maybe not as hard.
Speaker 1: But I'm sitting there and you can just you could
Speaker 1: just you can see it on the face. You can
Speaker 1: see the pain in his face. You could tell that
Speaker 1: he was trying to do the right thing. And he
Speaker 1: was like, man, I'm selling this. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what he was selling. And he was like man, I
Speaker 1: was like how much it costs? He was like five dollars,
Speaker 1: and so I gave him a ton of money. Uh,
Speaker 1: and it was through cash app. And so I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there and I'm looking at this kid is super hot
Speaker 1: here in Atlanta, and he's going around and I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: tell me your story, and he like, this my story.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm trying to do the right thing. I
Speaker 1: just got out of the situation. It wasn't near my fault.
Speaker 1: And you could just see like this kid could really
Speaker 1: be out here in the streets. But this kid going
Speaker 1: door to door. And so I was like, man, here
Speaker 1: on my number, I believe in you. You know you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be something more meaningful. Just trying to speak
Speaker 1: life and to him and just show him that somebody
Speaker 1: care and then his life, you know, it's worth something
Speaker 1: because a lot of times when you you get wrapped
Speaker 1: up into that and you're trying to do the right thing,
Speaker 1: and it's like, damn, these people see me out here
Speaker 1: then this nice neighborhood. They can't even give me five dollars.
Speaker 1: You know, realistically, you see a kid like that, give
Speaker 1: me five hundred dollars, like you know, it don't fundamentally
Speaker 1: change your life, but it will fundamentally change his life.
Speaker 1: And just playing a seed that man, if I just
Speaker 1: keep going, if I keep like figuring out, if I
Speaker 1: keep connecting these dots, I can make something of myself
Speaker 1: and I may never see that kid again. He probably
Speaker 1: won't call me, but hopefully, like you can just plant
Speaker 1: those little seeds along the way because you just never know. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: I remember Eddie Jones, the basketball player he for the Lakers.
Speaker 1: He got he was here and then I think he
Speaker 1: got shipped to the Lakers the vice versa. He was
Speaker 1: in the school. He didn't even get a chance to
Speaker 1: meet this dude. Just the fact that Eddie Jones was
Speaker 1: in the school was like meaningful. And I remember when
Speaker 1: carried cover he got drafted and he pulled up to
Speaker 1: um to watch his practice. And I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: you know, like this is crazy. Is carried Cola you
Speaker 1: know he out there, uh, coming from USC when y'all
Speaker 1: used to come to games. Just like that little seed
Speaker 1: of belief, he creates the reference point. It's like, all right,
Speaker 1: I can do it. These people are human, These people
Speaker 1: got great hearts. These people are you know, just like
Speaker 1: me in some capacity. And you start to see that
Speaker 1: like where we live now, where people were doctors, lawyers
Speaker 1: and different things, they're normal people like they might have
Speaker 1: had a different opportunities, but they're not more talented or
Speaker 1: more whatever that society would like you to believe. And
Speaker 1: so if you can just pass that on and help
Speaker 1: a person connect the dots just I mean, there's no
Speaker 1: telling where the person come become. You don't really travel
Speaker 1: too far. You get an opportunity to go to u
Speaker 1: g A University of Georgia. Mm hmm. So Dogs and
Speaker 1: Georgia is one of the teams. They may be up
Speaker 1: and down different years, but they're they're one of those
Speaker 1: teams in the SEC that are you know, they're top tier,
Speaker 1: you know, you powerhouse. So you go from one powerhouse
Speaker 1: at one another. At the entry level of high school right,
Speaker 1: and then now the next level at another powerhouse, how
Speaker 1: do you keep a level head? And you start to
Speaker 1: really just enjoy playing college football going to Division one
Speaker 1: not a little not too far from home, but you
Speaker 1: obviously in a big city in Atlanta, in Georgia, Athens
Speaker 1: where from hin Valley to to to Georgia. I think
Speaker 1: you know it's it's the crime Della Crimb. Would you say, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a culture shock, bro. I remember we had
Speaker 1: a golf tournament. This is, you know, before the summer
Speaker 1: of my freshman year, and I showed up red Dickie shirts,
Speaker 1: did Dickie shorts and a scheme shirt and like some
Speaker 1: white Air Force ones with a red check. I was
Speaker 1: playing south Side and so I pulled up in my
Speaker 1: first time ever on the golf course and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm super fresh, and you're super not like we gotta
Speaker 1: take this kid to go change. And so you start
Speaker 1: to get acclimated just in like how the outside world works,
Speaker 1: because you're you know, when you play at this powerhouse,
Speaker 1: but it's not like you give money, or it's not
Speaker 1: like you travel in the world or you and fancy
Speaker 1: hotels or nothing like that. You still from the bus
Speaker 1: is gonna drop you right back off to your neighborhood
Speaker 1: once you finished practice, and at the end of the game,
Speaker 1: you don't come right back there and watch the news
Speaker 1: um to try to see some highlights. So you're you're, you're.
Speaker 1: The quality of life hasn't changed in high school at all.
Speaker 1: But then you go to this powerhouse school where you
Speaker 1: can eat everything, you have the nicest amenities, you have everything.
Speaker 1: But mentally you're in that environment and so you either
Speaker 1: have to make sure that you you keep the good
Speaker 1: aspects of it, but then you refine some of the
Speaker 1: things that need, you know, improvement. And I think sometimes
Speaker 1: people don't. They don't know how to make that ship
Speaker 1: to where they just they just keep their whole self
Speaker 1: versus growing and evolving. Not to say that you got
Speaker 1: to change as a person, but you know you have
Speaker 1: to adapt. Each time you learn something new, you should
Speaker 1: bring that with you versus just being tied to the old.
Speaker 1: I think it's about that time. Just take a little breather. Good,
Speaker 1: do it good. It's getting down to do it good.
Speaker 1: Hey Gerard, why did you get that T shirt? You
Speaker 1: mean this thing? Oh yes, I got it from cut
Speaker 1: to a podcast dot com where we have exclusive merchandise.
Speaker 1: Shout out to our guys at seven or four shot.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you can go on, buy you a T shirt,
Speaker 1: subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts. So you're
Speaker 1: going from high school powerhouse and you go to u
Speaker 1: G a college powerhouse. Mhm. Now you get drafted two
Speaker 1: thousand nine, you get drafted to a nonpowerhouse Cleveland Browns. Man,
Speaker 1: take us through that down grade. I played with seven
Speaker 1: quarterbacks in four years, Okay, Derrek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Jake Delane,
Speaker 1: Seneca cot Um, that Lewis. Uh did I name all
Speaker 1: of them? I think I think I did, But it's
Speaker 1: there's another culture shot. And mentally, it was it was
Speaker 1: stressful and it was I didn't I didn't understand what
Speaker 1: mental health was at that time, but looking back on it,
Speaker 1: it was depressing. It was it was. It was just
Speaker 1: hard because it was just so dysfunctional. And it was
Speaker 1: not just nobody. I don't think anybody was like a
Speaker 1: bad person or or I didn't know how to do
Speaker 1: their job. It's just how everything came together awful. And
Speaker 1: so as a young player, you know, I'm in year
Speaker 1: one and after week four I'm the oldest receiver in
Speaker 1: the room, and you know, you don't even if you talented,
Speaker 1: you don't know nothing. You don't know how to be
Speaker 1: a pro. You don't know how to take care of
Speaker 1: your body, really don't know how to watch films like that.
Speaker 1: You don't know like the savvy vet moves that that
Speaker 1: people get a chance to learn um and so it
Speaker 1: was a steep learning curve. And then we're switching quarterbacks
Speaker 1: in and out every week. It's just it's just chaotic.
Speaker 1: And so that was like a really tough situation. And
Speaker 1: I remember the next year, you spent all this time
Speaker 1: in the offseason, you're working, and then I got the
Speaker 1: big concussion, and that was another crazy year where we
Speaker 1: played Tampa, come out and have a good game, Jake
Speaker 1: has a high ankle sprain. Then Seneca has a high
Speaker 1: ankle spring the week later, and then Coke gets thrown
Speaker 1: into the fire, and then before I know it, I
Speaker 1: get the career changes that hit from James Harrison and
Speaker 1: then you so you have like this this big dream
Speaker 1: of having like this crazy NFL career and then it
Speaker 1: just doesn't manifest in the way that you anticipate because
Speaker 1: it's just like everything is just like as crazy as
Speaker 1: you can think of and so like, and looking back
Speaker 1: at that, it was a great learning experience of a
Speaker 1: lot of things not to do from an organizational standpoint,
Speaker 1: but also and how much you need just you need
Speaker 1: some type of structure and you need the pieces to
Speaker 1: fit together in a way that the mental aspect doesn't
Speaker 1: do more harm than good when it comes to performance.
Speaker 1: Especially you know when you got these high caliber athletes
Speaker 1: and they can physically perform at a certain standpoint, but
Speaker 1: everything around them impacts their performance in an adverse way.
Speaker 1: The change your career, Well what do you mean by
Speaker 1: you changed your career? And you're not to go not
Speaker 1: to go about the head or any of that stuff,
Speaker 1: but just the psychological aspect of it, because a lot
Speaker 1: of people who may be listening may not know what
Speaker 1: you're talking about. That hit changed how the NFL view concussions.
Speaker 1: That's that was like the big weekend that everything started
Speaker 1: to change. And then the Concussion movie came out like
Speaker 1: a year a few years after that. Um, but if
Speaker 1: you look back at all, like the clinic tapes and
Speaker 1: everything of like the the kit that that is the
Speaker 1: hit and I even remember our bye week was so
Speaker 1: it took me three weeks to come back from that.
Speaker 1: We played the Saints the next week. I sat out
Speaker 1: that game and we had a bye week, and then
Speaker 1: the week after that we played and I remember walking
Speaker 1: through the airport the second week we had on our
Speaker 1: by and Hakim was like, bro, everything sports illustrated, and
Speaker 1: I was like nah. And as I'm walking through the
Speaker 1: airport on the phone with him, I see like the
Speaker 1: thing and I'm just getting blasted. And so when you
Speaker 1: get a big hit like that, your body recovers differently.
Speaker 1: I ended up getting three more after that to the
Speaker 1: next year and then a year after that. But when
Speaker 1: you start getting them like that, then you're like, man,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get hit. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this. I don't want to do that. Um, the
Speaker 1: recovery times longer. You don't know if it's psychologically. You
Speaker 1: don't know if it's impacting your performance. If you drop
Speaker 1: a ball, it's like them, you know there's there's something
Speaker 1: wrong with my blak or my brain. If you're fatigued,
Speaker 1: then you you know, have a misassignment. So it's it's
Speaker 1: this this mindset within everything else that's going on. And
Speaker 1: so I actually go get I go up to UM
Speaker 1: ironically University of Pittsburgh neurosurgeon Mickey Collins and this team,
Speaker 1: they're one of the best in the world to get
Speaker 1: my brain evaluated every other year, just so I can
Speaker 1: make sure that cognitively everything is there. But once again,
Speaker 1: you know, I remember having a good rookie year crazy dysfunction,
Speaker 1: and so you come into it it was like, all right,
Speaker 1: I actually know how to be a pronoun I know
Speaker 1: how to take care of my body, and in the
Speaker 1: first four weeks of the season are just crazy. And
Speaker 1: so then your play becomes more radic, and then you
Speaker 1: have an ownership change, and then you have another coaching change,
Speaker 1: and then you have quarterback changed. You know, man, what
Speaker 1: the hell is this? This is crazy? Um so, so yeah,
Speaker 1: that that that experience was wild. You've mentioned this a
Speaker 1: couple of times now, but what was your mental health
Speaker 1: journey in the league and up until now you know
Speaker 1: much crazy. So the other aspect of it is I
Speaker 1: had a crazy accident in twenty seventeen UM and for
Speaker 1: people don't know, I became an MPT. I had a
Speaker 1: TV accident where I lost my left hand and a
Speaker 1: lot of the emotions that I had coming from that accident,
Speaker 1: I recognized for the second time, Um, I had him
Speaker 1: in Cleveland, and I just didn't know what to do
Speaker 1: with him then, because supposed to be tough. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to be macho. You're supposed to, uh, you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to have emotions. You've got money, you you know, you're
Speaker 1: doing what you love to do. You're in a position,
Speaker 1: uh that you're very blessed, and so it almost seems
Speaker 1: selfish to even be complaining about certain things mentally, And
Speaker 1: I know who to go to, who to share it with? Like,
Speaker 1: who do you tell me? Tell you your folks, they're
Speaker 1: gonna be like, you know where you're coming from. The
Speaker 1: you tail coaches, They're like, you're supposed to perform, tough,
Speaker 1: en up. So I just didn't know, uh, But in
Speaker 1: dealing with those same traumatic type of experiences, I was like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go get help for this. And so in
Speaker 1: going to a counsel, they're going to have therapy and
Speaker 1: still doing now to this day, not because something's wrong,
Speaker 1: but just because mentally, you should treat your body the
Speaker 1: same way that you do it physically. You go to
Speaker 1: the gym to work out, so why not make sure
Speaker 1: your mind is working out in the same capacity. Uh,
Speaker 1: and so it's a lot better. It's a I don't
Speaker 1: think like you're at the health has ever solved, because
Speaker 1: everyday life is throwing different things that you whether it
Speaker 1: be COVID or whether it be you know, work stuff,
Speaker 1: whether it just be race relationships, whatever the case may be.
Speaker 1: An ability to just stay in a great place mentally, um,
Speaker 1: with the help of somebody to help us license to
Speaker 1: get you there. I think it's just smart, the smart
Speaker 1: thing to do so you can function at your highest
Speaker 1: leveling through if you don't mind your life changing event.
Speaker 1: April fourteen, two seventeen, I became an mput out just
Speaker 1: actually just going out there to clear my mind, UM,
Speaker 1: place that I felt really comfortable, just you know, forward
Speaker 1: it uh with some of my closest friends. And I
Speaker 1: gotta say now that there's like there's date, there's danger
Speaker 1: and comfort because in that place that I was so comfortable,
Speaker 1: almost lost my life, you know, doing something that had
Speaker 1: a lot of experience doing. Uh. And then so I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that at the time of the accident that
Speaker 1: I've become an amputee. I just thought it was a
Speaker 1: bad break. Sometimes you know, the thing that makes it
Speaker 1: good athletes or sometimes you know, we're out of touch
Speaker 1: of reality. And so I thought that, oh man, I'll
Speaker 1: just you know, rehab it. I have a cash. But
Speaker 1: I walked into the emergency room and the doctor was like, hey,
Speaker 1: Mr Mashico, gonna have to amputate your hand. And I'm
Speaker 1: like what he's speaking, you know, a foreign language to
Speaker 1: me right now. And so ended up having twelve surgeries
Speaker 1: to to try to save as much as possible and
Speaker 1: got my thumb. But everything else is going. You know,
Speaker 1: you're sitting there in the hospital and you go from
Speaker 1: being able to do physically whatever you want to do
Speaker 1: in life to to you know, just being stuck there
Speaker 1: in the area that I was at. I still don't
Speaker 1: I still don't even know, like the breakdown of white
Speaker 1: people were in the rooms. But you start to hear
Speaker 1: cold blue. And when cold blue happens, I mean, somebody
Speaker 1: just die. And so it gives you like this weird
Speaker 1: perspective of you know, you just had a part of
Speaker 1: your body that drew born with die, but there's people
Speaker 1: in here that are really losing their life for real.
Speaker 1: So when you walk around the hall again, you see
Speaker 1: a run and have family in it and life in
Speaker 1: it one day, and then it's prestinely clean, and it
Speaker 1: just gives you this this idea that we can't be
Speaker 1: out here just casually moving through life, because it can go.
Speaker 1: It can go really fast. And I would look at
Speaker 1: my fingers when they put the whole thing back together
Speaker 1: after the first surgery, and you know, each couple of days,
Speaker 1: I would see a finger go from pink to black
Speaker 1: and they would have to amputate it, and I see
Speaker 1: another thing to pink the black, and you know, you
Speaker 1: do that a few times, and then they chopped the
Speaker 1: whole thing off, and then getting skin graphs and you
Speaker 1: have another procedures to go in and clean it and
Speaker 1: doing all that stuff. You're like, man, this is like
Speaker 1: I don't never want to be in this situation again,
Speaker 1: so I gotta be intentional about how I live. And
Speaker 1: then you go through a pier where you're still in
Speaker 1: shop really where you're trying to piece it all together
Speaker 1: but it don't really make sense. And then I had
Speaker 1: a family friend tell me like, well, you gotta feel it.
Speaker 1: You gotta feel a full way to this thing. And
Speaker 1: that's when you look down and you're like, Damn, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be empty for the rest of my life. Damn,
Speaker 1: Like what is life's supposed to look like? What am
Speaker 1: I supposed to do? Um? Am I gonna be able
Speaker 1: to hold my daughter? Am I gonna be able to
Speaker 1: do this? I'm not gonna be able to do that?
Speaker 1: You know how I can? I can't even catch the
Speaker 1: ball with two hands. Really, I can't, you know, do this?
Speaker 1: Do that? Uh? And so when you come to that reality,
Speaker 1: that's when like the mental battles start um in minds.
Speaker 1: You you still when they cut you open, it's live
Speaker 1: nerve endings, which feel like you're getting electrocuted. And so
Speaker 1: you've got the physical battle that you're trying to recover from,
Speaker 1: but then you've got the mental battle that you're trying
Speaker 1: to recover from. And it could be overwhelming if you're
Speaker 1: not getting the right help. And that's to the furthest extreme.
Speaker 1: But people got physical battles that they're dealing with, any
Speaker 1: emotional and mental battles that they're dealing with that you
Speaker 1: can't see until I started to think back. This is
Speaker 1: when I start to think back in Cleveland, where I
Speaker 1: was like, I've had these type of battles before, and
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything about them, and I didn't get
Speaker 1: the results that I wanted. And so now I gotta
Speaker 1: make sure I do something about them. I gotta make
Speaker 1: sure that I'm going to get the right mental therapy.
Speaker 1: I gotta go make sure that I'm taking care of
Speaker 1: my body physically when I'm putting in and I'm flushing
Speaker 1: out all these toxins from surgery. Um, make sure that
Speaker 1: I'm working out to strengthen my body all over again.
Speaker 1: Make sure that mentally I'm engaged. I'm educating myself so
Speaker 1: when I come out of this, I can do more stuff, um,
Speaker 1: you know, at a higher level, because I'm not dead,
Speaker 1: so I gotta come out here and make life meaningful.
Speaker 1: And so like all these things just kind of evolved
Speaker 1: over probably like a twelve month period through the recovery process,
Speaker 1: and so when I came out of it, I was
Speaker 1: ready to go. Like it was almost like a crash
Speaker 1: course off season of recovery versus some of that stuff
Speaker 1: lingering with me. Now, what you experience was very traumatic
Speaker 1: and in Cleveland, and you said you didn't handle it right,
Speaker 1: and I remember me having a tragic injury, not to
Speaker 1: your or anything to yours. And I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: compare them, but I'm just keep keeping it as a reference,
Speaker 1: all right. When I when I tore my achilles, I
Speaker 1: ruptured it to the point where it was a double rupture.
Speaker 1: So a double rupture is it tore in the middle,
Speaker 1: but it also tore off the bone. And they didn't
Speaker 1: realize until they opened me up that the top was
Speaker 1: at the bottom and the bottom was at the top.
Speaker 1: And he's like, and find out I had toured it
Speaker 1: earlier in the off season, so I had fresh scar tissue.
Speaker 1: So I played pretty much like the first eight games
Speaker 1: where a slightly torn achilles m But I also remember
Speaker 1: psychologically there were moments where I literally just wanted to
Speaker 1: just scream, like just get it out of my system.
Speaker 1: But I didn't have the knowledge that I have now
Speaker 1: of like how do you articulate yourself? How do you
Speaker 1: vent your frustration in a healthy way where you have
Speaker 1: that grab your face in the pillow and you just
Speaker 1: let it go because you're you're carrying so much. Is
Speaker 1: it almost is it? Is it almost like a grief process.
Speaker 1: It's not, it's before the grief process. So that comes
Speaker 1: along the journey love. Yeah, that's why I'm asking them.
Speaker 1: So you're looking at your as they do the skin
Speaker 1: grabs and and you said twelve surgery, so pretty much
Speaker 1: in the first three surgeries, they're they're trying to save
Speaker 1: your your fingers and they go from pink to black,
Speaker 1: meaning a dead nerve. That nerve no longer it's capable
Speaker 1: and useful. As you're going through that, you're you've already
Speaker 1: stated you're mentally drained, you're physically beat up and mentally
Speaker 1: canually go through that. You have to continue, and you're
Speaker 1: and you're holding on to your fingers like and I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to be funny, but brother is losing the
Speaker 1: opportunity to dig in his nose or scratch his back
Speaker 1: and now you don't have that with My right shoulder
Speaker 1: is constantly asked because I can't reach it right and
Speaker 1: before I even go there, and talking about your achilles,
Speaker 1: I always tell people when they come to me and
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, I don't want to compare my
Speaker 1: situation to yours because you'res as much worse. I can't
Speaker 1: tell you what you're trauma felt like, Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: mean there are sometimes where you know you try to
Speaker 1: relay stories, meaning I've said this, I've said this to
Speaker 1: my kids a lot. And also the athletes says a
Speaker 1: pulled handstring is just as bad as a torn achilles
Speaker 1: because or torn a c l because the next or
Speaker 1: the last injury is always the worst injury until you
Speaker 1: have the next injury. I'm just trying to fix. I'm
Speaker 1: walking through because I think you have the wherewithal because
Speaker 1: of the count, so that you have elected to receive
Speaker 1: and a counselor, and that I have elected to receive,
Speaker 1: which is you have a grieving process, but you also
Speaker 1: got the process of the what what the heck? Right?
Speaker 1: Where am I? Like, I'm in a like a shock bro,
Speaker 1: I'm in a wheelchair in the in the nice scooter.
Speaker 1: I go from last week I was playing, I was
Speaker 1: I was bootle it on Dudes in Baltimore, And now
Speaker 1: I'm asking my my wife, anybody can you make me
Speaker 1: a sandwich? Like I can't? I got a scoop around,
Speaker 1: and I remember there were times where I was angry
Speaker 1: and I was piste off, like man, I could carry
Speaker 1: my own stuff and I can't. And it's like I
Speaker 1: got it, and and that's what I'm saying. Where was
Speaker 1: that scream moment, that time that you can go on
Speaker 1: the pilling you like, I can't take this anymore. I
Speaker 1: would walk around the neighborhood volunteers just like, just like
Speaker 1: whatever came out came out because it's it's it's like
Speaker 1: your body is like volcanic and east erupt. You need
Speaker 1: to need to be able to dump that stuff out
Speaker 1: of you. You're holding onto a tension and you just
Speaker 1: need to be able to let it out. I remember
Speaker 1: justin Houston, Um, you played for the Coats now like
Speaker 1: bro six three to seventy, and he's looking at me like, man,
Speaker 1: how are you doing? And I'm like, man, I'm good,
Speaker 1: and he kind of cocks his head to the south.
Speaker 1: You're like, man, how are you really doing? I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm just boo who crying on the man's shoulder. You know,
Speaker 1: because you like people that have been through something, they
Speaker 1: know when you when you you're baking it, they know
Speaker 1: what you gotta go through. And so if you don't
Speaker 1: let it out, you go crazy, or you you can
Speaker 1: escape it, probably with drugs or or with some type
Speaker 1: of like the other thing that gives your out of
Speaker 1: body world experience with I'm not trying to be hooked
Speaker 1: on the drugs. I'm not trying to be you know,
Speaker 1: not myself. I'm trying to get back to myself. And
Speaker 1: so I just kept having these moments where, you know,
Speaker 1: my wife finding in the middle of the night, just
Speaker 1: like crying in a pillow, Like you gotta get a
Speaker 1: up out of you. And then once you get it
Speaker 1: about of you, you gotta keep it about you with
Speaker 1: the right type of help. And it's it's you. Whatever
Speaker 1: situation you're going through, if it's serious to you, are serious, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't care if it's a papercut. If
Speaker 1: you think that's crazy and you think that's like impacting,
Speaker 1: you go get the right house helped for it. And
Speaker 1: I don't have to be empty to you, don't have
Speaker 1: to be Achilles. I tell like, whatever you're dealing with,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell you. What you're dealing with not
Speaker 1: a big deal. It's a big deal to you. It's
Speaker 1: a big deal. But you you gotta you gotta let
Speaker 1: people in and you and you gotta let it out.
Speaker 1: If people don't know how to help you. Some people
Speaker 1: just assume that man that's Smithie like he's been he's
Speaker 1: been to battle. Of course, you of Coution respond from
Speaker 1: the Achilles, and you, like I do, Am I gonna
Speaker 1: respond from the Achilles? Like am I gonna be the
Speaker 1: same version of the mode? Once my rehab is all
Speaker 1: the way complete, you question what the next step with
Speaker 1: the next evolution of yourself is, Um. And as you
Speaker 1: get further on the journey, you have clarity. But that's
Speaker 1: a that's a battle. It's not know just easy you know,
Speaker 1: point at the point B point Z type of journey.
Speaker 1: It's it's a lot of ups and downs in there. Well,
Speaker 1: we appreciate your time, We appreciate all your knowledge. We
Speaker 1: aspreciate going down this journey of your life. And one
Speaker 1: of the things that I love and I wrote it down,
Speaker 1: there's a danger in comfort, right and and just you
Speaker 1: you're spending that time with us, Um, you're opening up
Speaker 1: the door living on the side of Atlanta that you
Speaker 1: live on now. But you opened the door to two
Speaker 1: young men were too, older men who are who are
Speaker 1: selling selling things as well. And you have given us
Speaker 1: a lot of knowledge and giving us your time, and man,
Speaker 1: we just really appreciate you. Um. It's fun to hear
Speaker 1: and see what the The Independent kid is doing in life.
Speaker 1: Now you're doing some cool things, man, So thank thank you.
Speaker 1: If you don't you don't realize that you've just been,
Speaker 1: you know, and being able to see you come and
Speaker 1: what you represent, you don't even know, like the type
Speaker 1: of hope and the seeds that you planned and even now,
Speaker 1: like it's crazy to think that the twelve year old
Speaker 1: thirteen year old we like we'd have some type of
Speaker 1: relationships in life and and so just like that, you've
Speaker 1: been just a great human being. I just actually looked
Speaker 1: up and saw it like what time it was, and
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, we've been We've been chopping it
Speaker 1: up for for a minute. Um. But just like that
Speaker 1: goes to like the respect that I have for both
Speaker 1: of y'all. You are a unique person. You are well
Speaker 1: worth it, you are competent, and most of all, your lovable.
Speaker 1: I'm Steve Smith Senior, I'm Little John and this is
Speaker 1: cut to It. Cut to It with Steve Smith Singer.
Speaker 1: That Is Me is a production of Cut to It LLC,
Speaker 1: Balto Creative Media, The Black Effect, and I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Apple Apple podcast or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows from Cut to It. Executive producer Steve Smith,
Speaker 1: singer co host Gerard Little John, talent and booking manager
Speaker 1: Joe Fusci, Social media team Wesley Robinson and John Show
Speaker 1: from Balto Creative Media. Cut to It is produced by
Speaker 1: Brian Balta Chevitch and Meredith Carter, with production assistance by
Speaker 1: Alex Lebrec. Production coordinator Taylor Robinson. Theme music by Alex Johnson,
Speaker 1: lyrics and vocals by Anthony Hamilton. You heard about it,
Speaker 1: then we're about to let you know. It's all s