Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast. Well, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew,
Speaker 1: and welcome to another episode of Call It What It Is?
Speaker 2: Just a Capshaw well Luddington. Do you receive a phone
Speaker 2: call out of nowhere, text out of nowhere saying can
Speaker 2: I start to you for a second recently, just randomly?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And do they have something in common when you call
Speaker 2: that person back, text that person back and they experience
Speaker 2: what their question and query is? Yes, yes, and what
Speaker 2: would that be? Let's see if it's the same as mine.
Speaker 1: It was about a little no, We're not so little
Speaker 1: documentary that came out.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, a little documentary a very big liar.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And it got us on this in big,
Speaker 1: huge conversation about people who appear to be one way
Speaker 1: end up really and end up really being another way,
Speaker 1: and how shocking that can be and how much it
Speaker 1: can throw you like yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well listen, I remember when I heard this documentary
Speaker 2: was being made. But that actually came after finding out
Speaker 2: that someone that was in my daily life at Grace
Speaker 2: had completely lied about her entire identity, who she was.
Speaker 2: Things that had happened to her, but like a whole
Speaker 2: other person, whole nother, whole nother, And you know that
Speaker 2: says something about me as shocked as I was for
Speaker 2: some reason when people lie to great lengths, I'm not
Speaker 2: as shocked as everyone else. What's that say? People have
Speaker 2: lied to be in my life?
Speaker 1: Okay, so now I have a question for you. Have
Speaker 1: you had experience before in your life where someone has
Speaker 1: consistently lied or told such a whopper that you're like
Speaker 1: kind of blown away.
Speaker 2: Because maybe you've had.
Speaker 1: Experience in some way with that or maybe not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've had people lie. I mean, like again early days.
Speaker 2: We've touched on this about dating, right. It just you know,
Speaker 2: because lying is you know, ends up being pretty cozy
Speaker 2: and feels like a nice little roommate for cheating.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that's such a funny way to put it. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I do feel like unfortunately that is a somewhat common
Speaker 1: way of line. Right, but have you ever had someone
Speaker 1: where you're like, wow, they're not even like where they
Speaker 1: went to school, where they like almost like a dateline episode, like.
Speaker 2: An identity Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, no, never that deep.
Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting because the call It crew by the way,
Speaker 1: seem to have had this experience, which we'll get into.
Speaker 2: I cannot wait to get to these Well, let me
Speaker 2: expose myself for a second. Maybe this might be why
Speaker 2: lying is always sort of like hmm. When I was younger,
Speaker 2: like a little younger, like I don't know from what
Speaker 2: I can remember, so probably like five until probably nine
Speaker 2: or ten, I'd think I had a very big imagination
Speaker 2: and I would fly back and forth because my mother
Speaker 2: lived in Los Angeles and my father lived in New York,
Speaker 2: and I would have to go by myself, like and
Speaker 2: I was called a company minor, and I would go
Speaker 2: and so I would just like be sat next to
Speaker 2: a stranger, and my imagination would get the best of me,
Speaker 2: and I would tell them stories about who I was.
Speaker 2: We're not real, I mean, lie li. I mean again,
Speaker 2: I'm making it seem nice because I was a kid
Speaker 2: and I was telling a story, but I was lying
Speaker 2: as fact. One time I told my cozy little neighbor
Speaker 2: who you know, they always are nice to the kid,
Speaker 2: And you know, you can imagine me just sitting there
Speaker 2: all by myself with my two little pig tails. I
Speaker 2: told someone, which is so silly, because my mother is
Speaker 2: an actress, was an actress. I told someone that I
Speaker 2: was Meryl Streep's daughter and I was flying back to her.
Speaker 2: I'd been on location and I don't know what I
Speaker 2: was done. No, yeah, it's a full lie. Like again,
Speaker 2: so when you say identity like I have lied, I
Speaker 2: have memory of being a child who lied. Now this
Speaker 2: story ends in wait.
Speaker 1: Have you ever ran into Meryll and told her that
Speaker 1: this is you were her long lost daughter?
Speaker 2: Oh? You heard it here first. This is the first
Speaker 2: time that I've admitted to this lie. If we're going
Speaker 2: to be really, really clear, because guess what, no one
Speaker 2: really cares. No one's really like put my feet to
Speaker 2: the fire and said, did you ever say that you
Speaker 2: were Meryl Streeps talker, to which I said, okay, fine,
Speaker 2: I did. No, I did. I lied big. I lied
Speaker 2: a lot, and I wasn't just on airplanes. My mom
Speaker 2: always said that I had a lying face, like my
Speaker 2: eyes kind of look like they're going to pop out
Speaker 2: of my face and pop out of my head, and
Speaker 2: like nothing moves on my face, like nothing, none of
Speaker 2: my facial features move. And when she asks me, like,
Speaker 2: you know, hey, Jay, like did you did you heard
Speaker 2: some of the hawkinized chocolate ice cream last night, and
Speaker 2: I'd be like, no, yes I did, for sure I did.
Speaker 1: So you have your you give it all away in
Speaker 1: your face.
Speaker 2: So completely bad liar is what I am? Very bad liar.
Speaker 2: I mean it would be nice to find that person
Speaker 2: who sat next to me and see if they believed
Speaker 2: I was MARYL. Streep's daughter. That's really funny. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: If you sat next to a little blonde check and
Speaker 1: you're like you ever heard this story? Contact us? I
Speaker 1: am also not a great liar either. I get very sweaty.
Speaker 1: It makes me very uncomfortable that I'm very bad. I
Speaker 1: just it makes me not feel good.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: What's scary in this sparked conversation this week? It is
Speaker 1: scary when someone can lie so easily, so confidently, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that you really cannot tell. And there's a whole Macavelian element.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, because there's a harm element,
Speaker 2: like an intention to do harm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's and there is no part of them that
Speaker 1: feels sorry right there.
Speaker 2: Yes, they are completely unrepentant. Well what I was gonna
Speaker 2: say that? Buttons up? What my big lying phase and
Speaker 2: the reason why I don't anymore as of what ten
Speaker 2: is that I remember, And it must have been traumatic
Speaker 2: becase I don't remember what it was. But I got
Speaker 2: caught in a lie and on the flight, No, not
Speaker 2: on the fly, not on that king when I when
Speaker 2: I got picked up, It wasn't maryl. Street. No, I
Speaker 2: got caught in some lie when I was younger. That
Speaker 2: felt so bad and created such deep shame inside of me,
Speaker 2: like I was so ashamed to be who I was
Speaker 2: and have said what I said and all the thing
Speaker 2: that I truly were, like nine year old, ten year
Speaker 2: old Jessica making a true promise to myself that I
Speaker 2: would never lie again in my whole entire life, and
Speaker 2: that like to to my own like detriment, I would
Speaker 2: tell the truth. I don't know how long that lasted, right,
Speaker 2: Like we all tell white lives right now, right, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 2: and I think it's slightly calm white lives. I think
Speaker 2: we tell. We we say things that might not be
Speaker 2: complete truths, you know, to make massage certain situations or not,
Speaker 2: you know, say things that would be unkind right, But yeah,
Speaker 2: I just I thought it was interesting that I that
Speaker 2: in my development I went so far one way and
Speaker 2: I realized what the repercussions of lying were at such
Speaker 2: an early age that I decided like that was not
Speaker 2: for me and I was not going to feel that
Speaker 2: kind of shame again. And I'm guessing that people who
Speaker 2: lie about their identities and do these really horrible things,
Speaker 2: like the woman that's starring in that documentary, I'm guessing
Speaker 2: that they do not feel remorse or shame about lying.
Speaker 1: No, And that's where it gets very creepy if I'm
Speaker 1: being honest.
Speaker 2: And like moves into mental health issues.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm assuming. I mean, I don't you know, Like it's.
Speaker 2: Hard because you do.
Speaker 1: You watch these documentaries, right like, you watch these documentaries
Speaker 1: on Dateline, and you're and you're always I'm like this,
Speaker 1: I'm like I would have known, right like I would
Speaker 1: know that person's lying. And then you have an experience
Speaker 1: where it basically feels like you're in a Dateline documentary
Speaker 1: and you realize like, I did not know. I truly
Speaker 1: did not know. And I think that that kind of
Speaker 1: throws you for a loop because then you feel like
Speaker 1: your own instinct on stuff is way off, and so
Speaker 1: it makes you question your This is what I don't
Speaker 1: like about it. It makes you start questioning yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you're not just questioning that person now, it's like
Speaker 1: why did I see that? How did I believe that?
Speaker 1: And I don't like this self doubt. And then, by
Speaker 1: the way, it can affect other areas of your life,
Speaker 1: where now you're meeting somebody and they say something that
Speaker 1: sounds maybe outlandish about themselves or even not.
Speaker 2: So when you're like, is that true?
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I've experienced someone that has lied about the
Speaker 1: most wild, crazy things.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I have to say with Finchy, who's the writer
Speaker 2: who was in question in the documentary, it never it
Speaker 2: never occurred to me to not believe her. I mean
Speaker 2: there was never a moment where I was thinking, like,
Speaker 2: the things that she lied about, you could never in
Speaker 2: a million years imagine questioning, Yeah, this is somebody that
Speaker 2: lied to us.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if you guys have ever
Speaker 1: had this experience about many things, but about cancer, right,
Speaker 1: So that's something that you don't ever imagine someone could
Speaker 1: ever lie about.
Speaker 2: And then offered up specific information about or experience with
Speaker 2: it what it felt like.
Speaker 1: But now I'm interested because you said that you were
Speaker 1: not surprised, you were surprised of course, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: like a gobsmack like I was like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, it's so hard to explain. Of course, I
Speaker 2: was surprised that someone that she of course I was
Speaker 2: surprised that she wasn't who she really said she was,
Speaker 2: and she was not reporting any experiences that were actually hers.
Speaker 2: But I wasn't surprised that someone could do that, and
Speaker 2: I sort of just felt like, oh, well, like she
Speaker 2: was really good at that because I believed her. But again,
Speaker 2: I was not sitting in the seat of the woman
Speaker 2: who she married and represented a completely different life too.
Speaker 1: That's a whole difference that feels like a movie. That
Speaker 1: feels like a movie for sure. I will say this
Speaker 1: because I have been asked to comment on this documentary.
Speaker 1: Very strange experience seeing yourself in that kind of way,
Speaker 1: and I don't personally don't want to talk about my
Speaker 1: experience on set with this person. It's hard for me
Speaker 1: to even, you know, with this person. But I will
Speaker 1: say that what happened. I will say one little piece
Speaker 1: of information that nobody knows, it's not in the documentary,
Speaker 1: and I will share it here on the podcast. What
Speaker 1: I really hate again about this is it makes you
Speaker 1: go back and sort of question all the different things.
Speaker 1: And this person. I remember going to Hawaii for the
Speaker 1: first time, and.
Speaker 2: I was so excited that I.
Speaker 1: Could afford going to Hawaii. I was never able to
Speaker 1: afford something so tropical and glamorous. And I told everybody
Speaker 1: that I was going to Kawaii and I was really excited.
Speaker 1: And I was going with my boyfriend who's now my husband, obviously.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 1: I think it was about three days into that trip
Speaker 1: and FINCHI Finch was sat at the bar in the hotel.
Speaker 2: What, yes, not the airport bar, the the hotel where
Speaker 2: you were a.
Speaker 1: Hotel where I was in Kawai, sat in the bar
Speaker 1: three days into my trip.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Yeah, she was with.
Speaker 1: Somebody else, and I just remember thinking it was the
Speaker 1: most random coincidence.
Speaker 2: Had you told her what hotel you were going to?
Speaker 1: I had probably told It's funny because then you start
Speaker 1: to do this while you start to think back about
Speaker 1: like who did I tell? You know, I had told
Speaker 1: so many people where I was going. I'm sure I
Speaker 1: would have told her. And is there a world in
Speaker 1: which like she was just happened to be on vacation
Speaker 1: at the same time as me at that hotel in Kawaii. Sure,
Speaker 1: there's definitely a world where that happens. People run into
Speaker 1: each other like it's crazy. I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: don't like the now questioning of whether, like you know
Speaker 1: that going back and sort of reevaluating all those things.
Speaker 2: Did she check in as Joe Wilson. It's not even funny.
Speaker 1: God, I won't talk about set. I don't, it doesn't
Speaker 1: make me feel comfortable, but I will share that that
Speaker 1: story that happened in my personal life with her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I saw her all the time on set,
Speaker 2: but again I completely believed everything she said. There was
Speaker 2: never a moment of suspicion. I never thought that's funny
Speaker 2: that she said that like that, nothing nothing, nothing. And
Speaker 2: when I left, I remember having a really she came
Speaker 2: and found me and we ended up having a really
Speaker 2: really long conversation outside my trailer because she was so
Speaker 2: sad that I was leaving and wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 2: And maybe she wasn't sad at all. Kamilla, Well, this is.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying that we do. I mean, this is
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, like what is true and what's not true?
Speaker 1: And I don't like I don't like having felt like
Speaker 1: someone was like that was in our orbit no, and
Speaker 1: not feeling like I sensed any of that the truth myself.
Speaker 1: It just is uncomfortable, and you know, none of it
Speaker 1: feels good.
Speaker 2: I totally respect that you don't want to talk about
Speaker 2: the bits on set. It's funny to me when people
Speaker 2: behave like that, when people show themselves to be liars,
Speaker 2: I have a funny little like normally, I think I
Speaker 2: think we've seen on the podcast or heard on the
Speaker 2: podcast that I kind of I like to find the
Speaker 2: sunny side of the street. I like to get a
Speaker 2: little optimistic. I like to find the joy. I'm a
Speaker 2: little cutthroat when it comes to this shit. When you lie,
Speaker 2: yeah about who you are, when you do things to
Speaker 2: hurt people with your words, I'm a little like done
Speaker 2: with you and listen. I do I believe in forgiveness.
Speaker 2: That's a very personal thing and that's in you know,
Speaker 2: relationships specific. But I mean, I do think when a
Speaker 2: documentary like this comes out and obviously she's so exposed,
Speaker 2: I'm a little like, would you I think that's gonna happen?
Speaker 2: I don't. I do not like.
Speaker 1: Us all getting caught up in it though.
Speaker 2: One else, but no one did anything wrong only no,
Speaker 2: of course not.
Speaker 1: I know, I just don't. It just it sucks to
Speaker 1: be part of the story. It's uncomfortable to be part
Speaker 1: of the story.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, let's get to the call It crew, because
Speaker 1: we did you and I we made videos.
Speaker 2: Let's leave that bad liar behind and let's get into something.
Speaker 1: Let's move on to some others. I don't know how juice.
Speaker 2: They are just outright terrible.
Speaker 1: I know, so Unfortunately this is sort of weirdly somewhat
Speaker 1: common because we got so much feedback.
Speaker 2: We did really quickly too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I just want to before we get into it,
Speaker 1: I do want to talk about some statistics around Lyne
Speaker 1: which I found kind of interesting. So, uh, why do
Speaker 1: people lie lies? This is from the University of Wisconsin.
Speaker 1: They examined almost a little over six one hundred participants
Speaker 1: over three months, and this is what they found. People
Speaker 1: lie for a variety of reasons, and we can go
Speaker 1: through this together. The first is twenty one percent lie
Speaker 1: to avoid others.
Speaker 2: Then twenty percent as a humor. I don't like that
Speaker 2: kind of humor. By the way, I don't like that either.
Speaker 2: I can that's not Nope, but I don't like jokes
Speaker 2: and pranks. How about that.
Speaker 1: Fourteen percent to protect oneself.
Speaker 2: I get it. Thirteen percent to impress or appear more favorable,
Speaker 2: I get it, but also never works.
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't work yet. Eleven percent to protect another
Speaker 1: person okay.
Speaker 2: That yeah, nine percent for personal benefit or gain that
Speaker 2: gives me.
Speaker 1: He Begbi's five percent for the benefit of another person okay.
Speaker 2: Two percent to hurt another person just two percent. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm glad. It seems like a small number. But also
Speaker 2: and then five percent friends specified reasons or explicitly for
Speaker 2: no reason at all, which would maybe be the mental
Speaker 2: health bucket, right, like when you're lying or you're me
Speaker 2: not an adulta flight, Yeah, across the country, nine year
Speaker 2: old me, just lying.
Speaker 1: Okay, So let's get into some of the submissions that
Speaker 1: we got. I'm going to read the first one ready.
Speaker 1: So anonymous wrote us and they said, so, my dad
Speaker 1: is a big liar. This may be a pretty common story,
Speaker 1: but maybe not. When I was nineteen, we found out
Speaker 1: that my dad had a whole secret life outside of
Speaker 1: our family. To us, he was a quiet, shy, gentle soul,
Speaker 1: raising us as reformed Christians married to my mom for
Speaker 1: twenty plus years. Very upright guy, But in reality, he
Speaker 1: had multiple girlfriends in other cities and even in other countries,
Speaker 1: one of which he would fly in from Europe. He
Speaker 1: was also a secret alcoholic and drug addict. We knew
Speaker 1: nothing about it and thought he was working and we
Speaker 1: were just really poor.
Speaker 2: Oh that's the gut punch is a crazy crazy for
Speaker 2: being like, okay, all right, I mean I've seen that
Speaker 2: in like a TV show before, right, Like he's got
Speaker 2: girlfriends everywhere blue bly flying in from Europe sounds pretty extravagant, right, all.
Speaker 1: Awful, But like they that there was a financial cost
Speaker 1: to their family.
Speaker 2: That they did not have money because their father was
Speaker 2: a liar and a cheat.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously this is disgusting. I hate that he
Speaker 1: was with his mom. He was with their mom for
Speaker 1: twenty plus years, and.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, as a reformed Christian, I don't like that either.
Speaker 1: Because it feels like the mask, right, yeah, Like, not
Speaker 1: only am I gonna lie, I'm going to create this
Speaker 1: whole other persona to cover for the lie. This is
Speaker 1: where it gets so creepy to me. Okay, God, are Selphie?
Speaker 2: This is terrible. Sophie wrote in and said, when I
Speaker 2: was twelve, a friend that my best friend introduced our
Speaker 2: group two told us she is cancer. I cried that
Speaker 2: evening thinking about it as I had a granddad who
Speaker 2: had had cancer and had seen what it had done
Speaker 2: to him. I was really worried about all she had
Speaker 2: said and done, and eventually told my mom, who decided
Speaker 2: to pick up the phone and call the school asking
Speaker 2: about all these stories that this new friend had been
Speaker 2: telling us. It turns out she was lying about having
Speaker 2: cancer the whole time. She also lied about her little
Speaker 2: sister passing away, which to this day shocks me. I
Speaker 2: can't believe someone could be like this at such a
Speaker 2: young age.
Speaker 1: Wow, this makes me nauseous. I don't know how. And
Speaker 1: again we've had this experience, but I don't know how.
Speaker 1: Somebody lies about someone else and it feels like the
Speaker 1: early signs of a sociopath. I hate to say it,
Speaker 1: I'm not diagnosing anybody, but like, it feels like that's
Speaker 1: just dark.
Speaker 2: Well I think it's because it's the nature of her lie, right,
Speaker 2: Because again, like you can lie, you can make up stories.
Speaker 2: It's the nature of the lie. It's the nature of
Speaker 2: the lie being I had cancer and now I get
Speaker 2: all this attention and you feel terrible for me and
Speaker 2: also my sister. My little sister died and you're gonna
Speaker 2: give me all this attention, and that's so it's just really,
Speaker 2: I mean, clearly this friend needs some help. I hope
Speaker 2: they got it.
Speaker 1: And again, I feel like when the lies are that dark, right,
Speaker 1: it's it's if you don't have that sort of like
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to describe it, that if
Speaker 1: you are not this kind of person that could tell
Speaker 1: these lies, it's so jarring. Yeah, and feel so sick.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know how
Speaker 1: else to describe it. Yeah, Okay, Rachel, I had a
Speaker 1: best friend for three years when I was in my
Speaker 1: last years of high school. When we first became friends,
Speaker 1: he confided to me that he was gay, and we
Speaker 1: would go everywhere together. I feel like, I know where
Speaker 1: this is going. It's a movie, right, It's like this
Speaker 1: is a but it could be a horror or movie slash.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: We'd go on trips together and share beds. I get
Speaker 1: dressed in front of him because he was my gay bestie.
Speaker 1: Except he wasn't gay.
Speaker 2: Gay, He wasn't gay.
Speaker 1: He told me he was because he wanted to get
Speaker 1: close to me as he was in love with me.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: Gross, Okay, so that's not funny anymore.
Speaker 1: He let this slip to a high school teacher who
Speaker 1: took me aside to let me know as she was
Speaker 1: concerned about the situation. All this time, I'd slept in
Speaker 1: the same bed with him and got changed in front
Speaker 1: of him, thinking he was gay.
Speaker 2: Ah no, this is a horror movie. No, I know.
Speaker 2: I feel terrible that I just went I went at
Speaker 2: it with levity. I saw like a rom com, or
Speaker 2: like the guy was actually sweet, nice and adam brody ish.
Speaker 1: Yes, because there has been some there's probably been some
Speaker 1: rom coms back in the two thousands where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, nice Bogue Q and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is a door. But that's a movie, and this
Speaker 1: is life and this is actually, I mean to be honest,
Speaker 1: this is this is almost about consent a little bit,
Speaker 1: because she's not. She's consenting to her gay best friend
Speaker 1: being in bed with her, getting dressed in front of
Speaker 1: undressed in front of him, and he's not. And not
Speaker 1: only is he not gay. It's not that he's not gay.
Speaker 1: He's not gay, and he's.
Speaker 2: Also in love with her. So this is like but
Speaker 2: by the way, bad approach, Like this is your way in.
Speaker 1: Nobody is okay, talk about an AI wedding speech. You
Speaker 1: need to AI this wedding speech because you cannot tell
Speaker 1: the truth of how if these two ended up together.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, this is under lock and key. Nobody
Speaker 1: is gonna find this is funny at the wedding.
Speaker 2: But also, did he have no other friends like his?
Speaker 2: Was his entire identity in high school as a young
Speaker 2: gay man or was he like just holding on to
Speaker 2: this identity when he.
Speaker 1: Was with her. I do find it interesting that a
Speaker 1: high school teacher is the one who took her aside
Speaker 1: and revealed his sexual orientation to her. Yeah, that's really
Speaker 1: interesting to me because I'm glad she did. It does
Speaker 1: feel predatory that I just yeah, he asked, would have
Speaker 1: told her? I mean, I'm assuming he's telling everybody. It's
Speaker 1: not just her that he's telling is gay, that he's gay.
Speaker 1: He's telling everybody. Oh, I don't like it. I'm sorry, Rachel,
Speaker 1: I'm getting the hebgb's this whole podcast, Okay, Cecilia.
Speaker 2: I got pregnant nineteen years old. Halfway through my pregnancy,
Speaker 2: my mom called me and told me she needed me
Speaker 2: to meet someone. My mom has always been a bit sketchy, shady.
Speaker 2: I don't know a better way to explain it, but
Speaker 2: she is my mom, so I always gave her a pass. Well.
Speaker 2: I met up with her at a coffee shop, like requested,
Speaker 2: and there was this random man sitting there with her.
Speaker 2: I sit down and she goes, what I cheated on
Speaker 2: your dad nineteen years ago. The dad who raised you
Speaker 2: is not your dad. This man is. He has cancer
Speaker 2: and has less than a year to live, so I
Speaker 2: wanted to give you the opportunity to meet him. So
Speaker 2: she lied to me in my entire life. Also cheated
Speaker 2: and let my dad, who wasn't really my dad, think
Speaker 2: I was his kid the entire time, and also lied
Speaker 2: to this man about having his kid. She was so
Speaker 2: nonchalant about it too. Never apologize what never apologized either.
Speaker 2: I'm now fifty four years old and I often think
Speaker 2: how different my life would have been. How a sociopath
Speaker 2: not raised me.
Speaker 1: This is horrendous. I'm speechless at this one. This is
Speaker 1: this is insane, this is its own documentary.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On a scale of one to ten,
Speaker 2: this is this is a tenor.
Speaker 1: And also, how do you even if the lie is
Speaker 1: that big? How do you know that this is now
Speaker 1: the truth? That's what's so scary about these people, right,
Speaker 1: what's so scary is it's like, even if they apologize
Speaker 1: and said all the right things, if you let them
Speaker 1: back into your life ever in any form, is this
Speaker 1: now the truth? Or are they I just want to know, like,
Speaker 1: do these people live forever? Is their recovery in this
Speaker 1: situation like this? I don't know. We need a mental
Speaker 1: health professional on here to tell us because I would
Speaker 1: cut I wouldn't be able to talk to this mom ever. Again,
Speaker 1: what's true? What's not? If you can lie that big
Speaker 1: and you're casual about it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's But I think it's also it's
Speaker 2: got to be somewhere in your mind you it's the
Speaker 2: no remorse, It's the no it's the no empathy. It's
Speaker 2: it's not having the feelings receptors that let you know
Speaker 2: that this is so hurtful, that this would hurt your child,
Speaker 2: that she didn't know who her dad was, and that
Speaker 2: she does a dad it's not really her dad, and
Speaker 2: now you're just casually bringing this guy to a diner
Speaker 2: when you're half pregnant, and it's just all bad.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine. I find it hard to even like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't really small lie about anything to
Speaker 1: my kids, but I find it. I mean sometimes I do,
Speaker 1: Like I have one word for you, what Santa? Okay,
Speaker 1: if Santa was not real, which he is everybody he
Speaker 1: definitely is, I would even dread the day that I
Speaker 1: had to reveal that he wasn't real, which he is.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So for someone to do this, it's it's just
Speaker 1: so I can't It's again, these are things that you
Speaker 1: can't comprehend. They don't make sense, they don't compute like
Speaker 1: you can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the tooth fairy. Yeahby well, can you stop? Should think?
Speaker 2: Because I was thinking about whether or not I lie
Speaker 2: to my kids, and I was thinking, hey, I think
Speaker 2: that sometimes. I mean, you never said something was closed
Speaker 2: when it wasn't.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know if I feel real
Speaker 3: guilty about buyout, no honey, no sclowse Ron, I just
Speaker 3: go on my merry way.
Speaker 2: I'm definitely there's a lot of things that are close
Speaker 2: truth about some things. Actually I can't.
Speaker 1: No, you're bringing up no, I like two with my
Speaker 1: kids for sure, No, for sure, for sure, there is
Speaker 1: they've run out of Rocky Road.
Speaker 2: Yeah, completely out of that definitely, definitely, yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 2: And once they start getting a little bit older, I
Speaker 2: a real sticky one I have found because I consider
Speaker 2: myself someone who has, you know, real conversations with my kids.
Speaker 2: And they're going to start asking you about things like
Speaker 2: when did you first have sex?
Speaker 4: And when did you have did you ever do drinks?
Speaker 4: And when did you have your first drink? And you're
Speaker 4: forty five? Yeah, twenty five was the answer to all those.
Speaker 4: And I've never touched weed.
Speaker 2: That's what you're gonna say.
Speaker 1: It's really I gotta tell you it's no, that's that's
Speaker 1: not fun. That's not fun. You know what's really funny.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is like comp kind of off topic.
Speaker 1: But when I was little, this is a white lie.
Speaker 1: My mom told me I always wanted and we just
Speaker 1: couldn't afford them, the power wheels cars. And my mom
Speaker 1: told me that, and I wanted that. I was like,
Speaker 1: we can't afford it, but Santa can make anything. And
Speaker 1: she would always tell me, Kamla, it's going to take
Speaker 1: up a lot of room on the sleigh. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: was some kids losing out on their toys to make
Speaker 1: way for your Barbie power wheels. Go ahead and write it,
Speaker 1: And of course I was like, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: I can't do that, and so.
Speaker 2: Little the lot. Yeah, I mean yeah, I think that
Speaker 2: we lie to our kids more than we think we do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I said, I did say on here just
Speaker 1: now that I don't tellw many little lies, and I
Speaker 1: realized i'd tell many of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, any big ones, Okay, I'm sorry. My last thing
Speaker 2: about the kids, No, I have noticed, since they spanned
Speaker 2: from eight to seventeen, I have noticed that there's I
Speaker 2: have to like when they ask me a question that
Speaker 2: I am not going to give them the honest answer to.
Speaker 2: I have to quickly calibrate how old they are and
Speaker 2: if they will be able to fact check. That is important. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because I'm not going to get caught.
Speaker 1: No, but do your kids know your caught face? Because
Speaker 1: your mom knows it?
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: Well maybe since maybe from all these years of acting,
Speaker 2: I've gotten it better.
Speaker 3: No, I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm a badler. I am, actually I.
Speaker 1: Think I know I think I am too. Okay, Gabby
Speaker 1: is really excited for this topic. She wrote, I hope
Speaker 1: everyone as well, and I'm so excited for this topic.
Speaker 1: I have this friend who lies about everything for attention.
Speaker 1: Some examples are that she lies about getting injured and
Speaker 1: it doesn't correlate with a timeline. She gives, lies about
Speaker 1: sleeping with people, lies about moving, just stuff like that.
Speaker 1: One time she lied saying that her car got flipped
Speaker 1: and rolled three times.
Speaker 2: Like what the hell?
Speaker 1: Why in the world would you want to lie about
Speaker 1: something so intense like that. She also said this after
Speaker 1: someone we knew had just rolled their car. I'd understand
Speaker 1: her and her logic, and I'm currently ghosting her because
Speaker 1: I just can't do it anymore.
Speaker 2: That sucks. I think I had a friend in sixth
Speaker 2: grade who lied a lot.
Speaker 1: Well, this is someone older, this is someone who can drive.
Speaker 1: I get like, there's gonna be kids say yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I went to grade school story.
Speaker 1: I mean, I you know, we all, yes, we all
Speaker 1: had the you know the I mean the stupidest lies
Speaker 1: that I got told when I was little by other friends.
Speaker 1: So I still think of one of them. Gladiators in
Speaker 1: the UK was like such a huge show, and she
Speaker 1: told me that the Pink Gladiator, who is my favorite
Speaker 1: jet Inland, lived with her grandma and let her try
Speaker 1: on her uniform. And I was like, that's amazing.
Speaker 2: We were like, Saven see this one I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: I think there's a there's a there's a window of
Speaker 2: lying that actually is just part of your development. I
Speaker 2: think that you're I think that those lies.
Speaker 1: I think we're.
Speaker 2: Probably I mean, I'm maybe I'm just convincing myself that
Speaker 2: I don't have issues. But yeah, I think that that's normal,
Speaker 2: like having those lies. But it's when you're in a
Speaker 2: grown up that's different. Okay, isy gosh, another just I mean,
Speaker 2: what is wrong with people? I hate to say it,
Speaker 2: but my father turned out to be a massive liar.
Speaker 2: My dad is a firefighter and for five months he
Speaker 2: was carrying out a whole other life with a female
Speaker 2: cop who happened to work in the same city as him,
Speaker 2: for five whole months. During these five months, my dad, mom,
Speaker 2: my brother, and I went on a family vacation, and
Speaker 2: this whole family vacation, he and the woman were in
Speaker 2: contact with each other. When my dad came out and
Speaker 2: told us about the affair. He said he would discontinue
Speaker 2: any contact with the woman. A few days later, my
Speaker 2: mom went to go talk with my dad at our
Speaker 2: yacht club because he was staying on the boat. Lo
Speaker 2: and behold the woman was with him when my mom
Speaker 2: show up. Ah, wrong with people?
Speaker 1: What the heck? The dads aren't looking so good today?
Speaker 2: I mean, neither was a bad mother, was a bad
Speaker 2: mom mom too bad liar, lying liar. How do you
Speaker 2: deal with a liar? Good question?
Speaker 1: How do you deal with a liar? I mean, when
Speaker 1: the liars are this big, I do think for the
Speaker 1: sake of your sanity, you can't have that person in
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was gonna say total abandoned jump ship, but.
Speaker 1: This is really hard. So I mean, some of these
Speaker 1: people are related if you're married to them, I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: married related. They're your mom, that your dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and by the way, the extent that they go
Speaker 2: through to do. I have another bad story, a bad
Speaker 2: dad story. I just heard this from a friend of
Speaker 2: mind that there was a dad who was like again,
Speaker 2: picture perfect, like squeaky, cleaning, always game like, always taking
Speaker 2: the kids everywhere, and he was with the daughter I
Speaker 2: don't even know how she was and she had his phone,
Speaker 2: and he kept getting hit up by this. But it
Speaker 2: was a contact that was like in there is like
Speaker 2: not the right name. Yeah, And she looked at it
Speaker 2: and it was sexy talk. And then because these things
Speaker 2: happen when you find them, you for some reason cannot
Speaker 2: look away. You have to keep looking. Yeah, you got
Speaker 2: to start scrolling. The finger comes out, you're swiping, you're strolling,
Speaker 2: you're scrolling, you're scrolling an swiping, You're doing all the things.
Speaker 2: And she got into some seriously Shenanigany territory. There was sex,
Speaker 2: there were boobs, there was all of it. All it
Speaker 2: one person. Yes, but I'd been going on for a
Speaker 2: very long time. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot the punchline.
Speaker 2: It was her friend's mom.
Speaker 1: No, yes, no, yeah, yeah again.
Speaker 2: I for some reason, these crazy stories come out. I'm like, oh, I.
Speaker 1: Get So the friend is now involved. That's what sucks too.
Speaker 1: Now the friend is involved, And how does she feel
Speaker 1: about the mom, And.
Speaker 2: How does she tell them? How does she Yeah, he
Speaker 2: should tell them, but then she no, And then that's
Speaker 2: a heat. The message killed the messenger. The whole thing
Speaker 2: is just awful, terrible, terrible, And that's the thing I
Speaker 2: think that I really don't like about liars. They really
Speaker 2: take people down, you know, they change your life with lies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well your trust well, I mean there's so many
Speaker 1: things that are affected, but your foundation for trust feels
Speaker 1: really shaken. Mm hmm, especially when they especially when it's
Speaker 1: just so wild where you're listening to it and it's
Speaker 1: still like the person that we're talking about. For us personally,
Speaker 1: I still can't compute. It still doesn't like compute for me.
Speaker 2: Why I accept it? So I'm like, oh, yeah, because
Speaker 2: it doesn't because I'm like.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel real almost.
Speaker 2: No, No, it does not feel real.
Speaker 1: No, And for these people, I imagine it takes a
Speaker 1: very long time or maybe it never feels I mean,
Speaker 1: to be honest, the one with the mom who said
Speaker 1: that you know this is your dad, I would need
Speaker 1: the DNA test. I wouldn't even want to take her
Speaker 1: word on it. Yeah, Like what makes me believe this
Speaker 1: new lie?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What's slightly terrifying is we made these videos, I mean
Speaker 1: put them out on Instagram, and we just got so
Speaker 1: many submissions and they weren't small stories. I mean, we
Speaker 1: can dig into this morning another episode. Obviously, this is
Speaker 1: a huge subject affecting so many people. They were huge,
Speaker 1: huge monumental betrayals. Yeah, because that's what the line ends
Speaker 1: up being, ends up being a betrayal of your trust,
Speaker 1: of your friendship.
Speaker 2: They literally had well we had hundreds of submissions. Yeah,
Speaker 2: hundreds in like twenty four hours. Yeah, fightening.
Speaker 1: It's frightening because you feel like you imagine that there
Speaker 1: aren't that many people walking around the world who can
Speaker 1: lie like this, and when you see from our crew
Speaker 1: the response, You're like.
Speaker 2: Wait, this is so creepy. Yeah. You know what I
Speaker 2: think it makes uh for some some good therapy after
Speaker 2: you've been lied to, is talking about it, like I mean,
Speaker 2: like calling a friend and like just getting it all out,
Speaker 2: like because I feel like that's what's happened with this
Speaker 2: documentary is people just want to talk about it because
Speaker 2: they can't wrap their heads around it. They can't think
Speaker 2: of how, you know, someone could ever lie like that.
Speaker 2: But I do have to say, and again I'm a
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm was just a person that worked there
Speaker 2: as well, right, Like, I'm not a huge part of
Speaker 2: the story, but I can tell you that the very
Speaker 2: many people who have reached out to me, I wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about it. I think that they feel like
Speaker 2: some uh and they're not even personally involved, but I
Speaker 2: think they feel better when they've just like heard a
Speaker 2: little bit more talked it out. I think that it's
Speaker 2: so just like you said, it's so unsettling to think
Speaker 2: that there are people out there who can, who can,
Speaker 2: who can behave that way.
Speaker 1: Well, that's why it's interesting, And I think great when
Speaker 1: our crew write in and they just they give us
Speaker 1: their stories, because I think sharing them, there's somebody else
Speaker 1: listening to this, thinking my experience with this person was
Speaker 1: so wild it can't possibly it must be so rare.
Speaker 1: And then you're hearing other people and you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's that's even worse or that's the same, or that's the.
Speaker 2: And there's other people dealing with this and yeah.
Speaker 1: Exactly, which is why we wanted to do this episode,
Speaker 1: because it does feel kind of isolating when you've been
Speaker 1: in a situation that feels insane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I always find that when I'm dealing with people who
Speaker 2: I can't who I feel like I feel an instinct
Speaker 2: about that I can't trust, or if I have been
Speaker 2: in relationships with people where it's such an overused term
Speaker 2: these days, I think, but I actually mean it in
Speaker 2: the truest sense of its meeting, which is gaslighting where
Speaker 2: someone's you know, you're saying, hey, but I didn't love
Speaker 2: when this happened, and they're like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2: That didn't happen? Yeah? Really? Yeah, are you sure? Because
Speaker 2: I and it's wild because of course it usual really
Speaker 2: only happens when it's you and that person in conversation, right,
Speaker 2: like when there's witnesses, there's no it's a little bit harder.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I've had a couple people in my life
Speaker 2: where I'm like, can I just like put a GoPro
Speaker 2: on my head? Like, do you mind if I just
Speaker 2: videotape all of our interactions because this feels unsafe, Like
Speaker 2: you feel like being with you and being in relationship
Speaker 2: with you makes me feel like I'm living in the
Speaker 2: upside down. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could have very close relations
Speaker 1: with people that know.
Speaker 2: But sometimes you're forced into it. I mean, sometimes you
Speaker 2: just have people in your life where you know, either
Speaker 2: by circumstance or yeah, of course all the different things
Speaker 2: there they are. But I do think, yeah, that's that's
Speaker 2: I think that's my last thought on it is that
Speaker 2: I do think that there are big fat liars out there,
Speaker 2: and I can only imagine that we all experience them,
Speaker 2: and that the only uh, the only way out is
Speaker 2: the rough that lie and to talk about it with
Speaker 2: other people and figure out how to get right with
Speaker 2: it and understand that you didn't contribute to it and
Speaker 2: exactly send them on their way. And by the way,
Speaker 2: I feel like when people have, you know, lied a lot. Again,
Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of when people have lied a lot.
Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of getting your way to forgiveness.
Speaker 2: But I don't think you need to forget it. I
Speaker 2: think that was actually information that's necessary in going forward
Speaker 2: in a relationship with that person. Yeah, I agree that
Speaker 2: bye bye bye.
Speaker 1: All right, I think we need to We keep saying
Speaker 1: this that it's only because the crew is just so
Speaker 1: incredible that I'm like, we need enough. We gotta do more.
Speaker 1: We got to get through more of your submissions and stories.
Speaker 1: But for now, we're gonna call it just the end
Speaker 1: of the lying episode.