1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello, everyone, back for another week 5 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: another episode discussing the weird and wonderful things of our 6 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: twenties and all that they contain. But this week in particular, 7 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about such a unique feeling for 8 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: this decade for many people who are listening, and that's 9 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: feeling directionless, feeling really really lost, not really knowing what 10 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: you're doing with your life. So I put this kind 11 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: of poll on my Instagram asking what you guys wanted 12 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: to hear this week, this one by far. So I'm 13 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: feeling like a lot of the content we're going to 14 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: talk through today, we'll resonate with quite a few people 15 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 1: who are listening. And if that's you, welcome. Welcome to 16 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 1: my kind of mismatched self help guide as to what 17 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: you should do when you are feeling directionist, when you 18 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: don't really know where you're going in your life. Why 19 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: that's completely normal. We are here to reduce shame, reduce stigma. 20 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: You don't need to know what's going on and hopefully 21 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: in this episode we kind of cover why it's okay 22 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: to be at this point and be at a kind 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: of juncture in your life. I think a lot of 24 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: people don't talk about how normal it is to really 25 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: not know where you're going to be at a bit 26 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: of a stalemate. It's definitely a feeling many people get. 27 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: I've discussed this with my friends quite a lot, and 28 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: although we're not always at the same point at the 29 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: same time, I can promise you I think almost all 30 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: of them have at some stage in their twenties felt 31 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 1: really lost as to where you're going and where they're going. 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: And you might be feeling like, you know, you don't 33 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: really know what the next step in your life is, 34 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: feeling helpless, emotionally numb, or like you've kind of lost 35 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: a bit of energy and a little bit of spark, 36 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: and many things can make you feel a bit directionless. 37 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: In this decade, you know, we've exited our teenage years, 38 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 1: but we don't yet feel like adults. We're seeing a 39 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: lot of huge and sometimes first life changes and life 40 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: events like the end of important relationships, missed opportunities. You know, 41 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: you might have lost friends or family members, you graduated 42 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: UNI or you've moved on to the next stage of 43 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:44,919 Speaker 1: your life, and sometimes that's met with this almost sense 44 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,919 Speaker 1: of I think blown out awareness that your life is 45 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: not moving in the direction that you imagined. And like 46 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 1: I said, it can be caused by a lot of things, 47 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: but I think in this day and age, social comparison 48 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: through social media is a huge contribute, and money, money 49 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,239 Speaker 1: as well, not feeling like you have enough, not feeling 50 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 1: like you have the amount that would allow you to 51 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,519 Speaker 1: experience the things that you want. I think personally, I've 52 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: seen this so much recently with everyone you know being overseas, 53 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: and I think I created this narrative when I was 54 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: younger that my twenties in my life would be defined 55 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: by travel and going places and having a lot of 56 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: fun and overseas hostels, and that hasn't really been the case, 57 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: and it's really easy to feel like I've lost that 58 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: sense of direction and ambition for my life. I think 59 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: burnout as well. A lot of the times feeling directionless 60 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: is really linked to our career. Jobs we don't like, 61 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: jobs we don't want, and burnout is a huge part 62 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: of that. And as I'll talk about later, a huge 63 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: contributor to that sense of stagnation and that sense that 64 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: you're not going at the pace or in the direction 65 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: that you would like to be. I think it also 66 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: is an entirely separate topic that deserves its own episode, 67 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: the concept of burnout and that experience as you enter 68 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: into the workplace, or you're exhausted by family and friendships, 69 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: and sometimes you know you might not be quite sure 70 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 1: why you're feeling lost. It's just this sense in your 71 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: body in your mind that you can't shake that things 72 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 1: are kind of aimless. You're just kind of floating from 73 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: moment to moment and not really going anywhere. So there 74 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: are heaps of reasons why you might be feeling lost 75 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: right now, but there are also a lot of ways 76 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,559 Speaker 1: that you can kind of find yourself again. I think 77 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,600 Speaker 1: the main philosophy I'm going to be adopting in this 78 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: episode is not that you need to figure out where 79 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: you're going, but you need to kind of figure out 80 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: who you are and what your values are, and the 81 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,279 Speaker 1: rest kind of falls into place. So why is this 82 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: important in our twenties. I feel like that's pretty self evident. 83 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 1: This is the first decade of adulthood, and it's the 84 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: first decade in our lives the first time in our 85 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: lives where we might be feeling like we have real 86 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:19,559 Speaker 1: responsibility and control over where our life takes us. We 87 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: have to choose the jobs that we want. Things don't 88 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 1: just fall into our lap. We don't have the structures 89 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: of UNI anymore, the convenience of friends that are attached 90 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,360 Speaker 1: to school, or to some of those structures that were 91 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: placed around us when we were younger, and as a result, 92 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: it's really easy to sit back and feel like the 93 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: vision you may have had when you were younger of 94 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: where you want it to be, or the current vision 95 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: that you have isn't really going along so well. I 96 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: kind of also mentioned this, but big life events are 97 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: extremely extremely significant when it comes to a sense of 98 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: direction lists and the definition of what a big life 99 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: event is is really up to you. You know, you 100 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: may have been in a string of relationships or in 101 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: a relationship that's ended, and you're feeling like, you know, 102 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: the I know like love, or the state of your 103 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: relationships isn't where you would like it to be. You 104 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: might be feeling lost in terms of friendships, or maybe 105 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: you're stuck in a place you don't want to be 106 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: physically you're in a town or in a city that 107 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: you don't love anymore, there's nothing new there, and there's 108 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: that sense of I'm stuck, I don't know where I'm 109 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: going and what the fuck am I doing? And we're 110 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: here to say that's completely normal. Feeling lost in your 111 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: life feels a lot like depression. They've done heaps of 112 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: studies that a sense of I don't know, exhaustion and 113 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: confusion about where you're going is really tied to a 114 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,840 Speaker 1: lot of other mental health experiences. And if you do 115 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: feel lost, you might feel unmotivated and uninterested in the 116 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: things that make you happy, which consequently means you no 117 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: longer feel or recognize yourself and it just kind of 118 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 1: spirals from there. So it's really important to look at 119 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: this topic from a holistic lens, not just in terms 120 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: of organizational psychology and saying or these are the X 121 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: y Z steps that you need to do to get 122 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 1: your dream job and get your dream life, because most 123 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: of the time, once you get there, there's always something 124 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: better on the horizon that you want more now. So 125 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: I don't really think that's the healthiest way of going 126 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: about it. It's more about cultivating a relationship with yourself, 127 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: which means that no matter what life kind of throws 128 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: at you, the life transitions that you have to undertake, 129 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: even if you do feel lost and you are struggling 130 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: with that, from time to time, you can kind of 131 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 1: see the light of the end of the tunnel and 132 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: a way forward. It's going to be okay. I think 133 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: that's the one thing that I really want to stress. 134 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: If you're listening to this, I'm guessing you're in your twenties, 135 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: and I would just kind of invite you to think 136 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: back on where you were ten years ago. Could you 137 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: haven't imagined your life now and think about how young 138 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: you felt then. I'm sure in ten years time you're 139 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: going to feel exactly the same way about your current 140 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 1: self as you do about your past self. We are 141 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: so young, and you have your entire life ahead of you, 142 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: and this is a decade for making mistakes, for trying 143 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: things out, for not exactly knowing where you're going, but 144 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,599 Speaker 1: knowing it's all going to fall into place. I've experienced 145 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 1: this quite a bit, and there was this tumbler post 146 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,199 Speaker 1: and I think about it all the time, So maybe 147 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: it might resonate with you or make you feel better 148 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: and I can't remember the exact ages, but it kind 149 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 1: of gives us example of these famous people like Harrison 150 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: Ford and Oprah and Meryl Streep. These people didn't find 151 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: their dream careers or their dream lives until much later 152 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: in life, and so you have time. There are people 153 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: who haven't met yet who will be some of the 154 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: deepest loves of your life. There are opportunities that will 155 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: appear when you least expect them, and many opportunities you'll 156 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: probably get to say no to life. I think just 157 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: gives us many forks in the road, and the path 158 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 1: you're on now it won't be the same path in 159 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: five years. Sorry, this is a bit of a rambling intro, 160 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: but I guess I've been feeling a little bit direction 161 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: less at the moment, so this is a bit of 162 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: a monolog before we get into the actual psychology and science. 163 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,800 Speaker 1: But I looked back, and I was doing this for 164 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 1: this episode. I was looking back at journals from when 165 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: I first started UNI, and I just thought that my 166 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: life was going to turn out so much different than 167 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 1: it actually has. And all those times that I did 168 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: feel lost in the moments of let up to where 169 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: I am now, I can see how it was actually 170 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: steering me onto the path that now I'm really happy with. 171 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 1: I didn't you get an internship in my last year 172 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: of union, and I was super cut by it and 173 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: I felt super directionless. But because that didn't happen, I 174 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 1: did get a job I really wanted, and now I 175 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: live in the city I never thought I would, And 176 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 1: I've met people so unexpectedly who have made me see 177 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: the world differently and restored my confidence and love of life, 178 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: and I never would have imagined that for myself, and 179 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: all those times I felt so lost and directionless, I 180 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: can see now that there were all these things moving 181 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: in the background that I couldn't have even fathomed that 182 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: were kind of bringing me to a place in life 183 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: where I did feel really happy. The only thing that's 184 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: really promised in life, and I say this to my 185 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: friends all the time, is change. So I promise you 186 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: you won't stay stagnant forever, and even if you do, 187 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: you can still be happy. But enough of that. For 188 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: those of you who who are in a rut, I 189 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: get it, I understand. So let's talk about how to 190 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,239 Speaker 1: move through those periods of feeling lost and feeling directionless, 191 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: and how to push forward, big growth and big change 192 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 1: and restore I think just your confidence that you will 193 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: find a sense of direction and a path and a 194 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: journey through life that will make you happy, even if 195 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:34,719 Speaker 1: you are, you know, stuck right now. So we're going 196 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 1: to take a little bit of a different path, not 197 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: an organizational path, not a path focused on career, but 198 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 1: we really are going to talk about positive psychology, which 199 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: is perhaps my favorite domain or area of psychology, and 200 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 1: it's so important when we're talking about feeling directionless. So 201 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: positive psychology for those who don't know about this kind 202 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: of area of study, it's basically the scientific study of 203 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: what makes life most worth living. And it focuses, you know, 204 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: not on the brain. Doesn't focus on your behavioral responses 205 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: or mental illness or mental unwellnessed. It focuses on individual 206 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: and societal well being and how your subjective experience of 207 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: life is influenced by your individual traits, your surroundings, the 208 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: institutions that make up your life, the relationships, all with 209 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: the aim of improving the quality of life. So I 210 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: guess it's in the name. Positive psychology is focused really 211 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: on how you can curate and build resilience and build 212 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: the kind of life that you want, and it tells us, 213 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: I guess, you can kind of see a lot about 214 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: what to do when you're feeling directionless, and it gives 215 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 1: us advice across all domains and phases of life. So 216 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to kind of break down some of the 217 00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: ideas that positive psychology has had about what to do 218 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: when you are at a stalemate, when you are in 219 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: that stage where things aren't really moving forward, and why 220 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: it's not actually about changing things in your life, but 221 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: changing how you see yourself. So I read this really 222 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: interesting article from this psychologist about what she does when 223 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: she's in a rut, and there was a couple of suggestions. 224 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,959 Speaker 1: Having confidence in your abilities was one of them, trying 225 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 1: new things, not overthinking, and not focusing on the negative. 226 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: So let's kind of break these down and hopefully give 227 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: you a bit of an outlook on what you can 228 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 1: work on in yourself to get yourself out of this 229 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 1: sense of a stalemate, in a sense of not really 230 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 1: going where you're going, not really knowing where you're going, 231 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: going where you're going, well, going where you're going as well. 232 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: I guess. So the first suggestion this person had, which 233 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 1: I found really really interesting, was just having confidence in 234 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 1: your abilities. I think the reason we sometimes feel directionless 235 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 1: is because we don't really know what we offer. I 236 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: found this when I was applying for jobs and I 237 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: just was like, well, I can't see myself here because 238 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: I can't see myself contributing anything. But if you've always 239 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: loved something and dreamed of pursuing something as a future career, 240 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: or you've got ambition or you've got goals, you're a 241 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: lot further along than I would say most people. And 242 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: I think what's really stopping us from taking, you know, 243 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 1: what are sometimes necessary grand leaps in life is because 244 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: you're allowing insecurity and a lack of confidence in your 245 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 1: abilities to kind of interrupt the steps you need to 246 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: take to reach that a higher self and reach the 247 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 1: point where you are content with where you're going and 248 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: what's around you. So it's all about identifying what your 249 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 1: strengths are. What do you bring to the table that 250 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: others don't, even if it's really really small. Maybe you 251 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 1: are really good at having conversations with other people, or 252 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: you're a really good listener, maybe you're creative, or you 253 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: have some unique skill that you know not everyone has, 254 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: and chances are there will be an avenue to pursue 255 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: that in one way or another that can bring you happiness. 256 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: It's important to identify what makes you happy, what are 257 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: you good at, and how can I leverage that to 258 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: kind of push my life forward. That being said, sometimes 259 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: it's best to also branch out and try new things, 260 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: try a little bit of everything. That's what this person suggested. 261 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: So if you have literally no idea of what you 262 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: want to do, you are completely okay. That is a 263 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: completely okay scenario to be in. This is the advice 264 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: this person gave and I absolutely love it. When I 265 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: first moved to Sydney, I was feeling really lost. I 266 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: wasn't working, I didn't really have many friends here, and 267 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: I just tried everything and anything, anything that pushed me 268 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: out of my comfort zone. I did random little nick 269 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: knack jobs that I found on the internet. I push 270 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: myself into new spaces and hobbies that I hadn't thought 271 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: to pursue before. And that's exactly what you should do. Restore. 272 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: Restoring confidence in your own abilities the things that you 273 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: already acknowledge yourself about yourself is one thing, but trying 274 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: other things you never know what you're going to be 275 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: good at and you'll probably get a confirmation of what 276 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: you really want to do and the things that you're 277 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: really interested in, and it will hopefully narrow it down 278 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: a little bit. Maybe part of trying everything is getting 279 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 1: out there, going in new places, and you realize that 280 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: the thing that makes me happy is traveling or is 281 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 1: being able to move around, and take that and don't 282 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: forget it. Bring it into the fold of your life plan, 283 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: integrate it into what you think your future has installed. 284 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 1: Because you're the best person to be able to recognize 285 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: what you really love and what your future dream life 286 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: can look like based on the things that you've tried, 287 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 1: the experiences you've had, and what you've learned. Don't overthink it. 288 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,399 Speaker 1: It sounds really simple, I know, and I hate giving 289 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,679 Speaker 1: advice that is so simplistic, But I think probably the 290 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: worst thing that I did when I was feeling like 291 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: I was in a rut was just ruminate and obsess 292 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 1: over what I was doing wrong, how stuck I was, 293 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: how I was never going to push myself forward, and 294 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: those negative beliefs and those negative kind of self cycling 295 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: patterns of thoughts will become your reality and the next 296 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: time you need to make a big decision or try 297 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: something new, or apply for a job that you think 298 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 1: will make you happy. That little voice in the back 299 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: of your head that is saying, oh, no, we're stuck, 300 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 1: We're never going to move forward, isn't going to have 301 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 1: full confidence in that decision, and you might end up 302 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: not going forward or citing backwards. You shouldn't overthink it. 303 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 1: Let life happen, Let yourself be in the moment, because 304 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 1: big changes are really scary, and so is feeling stuck 305 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,479 Speaker 1: and lost. But if it feels right, just do it. 306 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: Just overthink it, take that random job. I always think 307 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: of my friend Meg, who moves around and just does 308 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: the most amazing things because she just jumps at it 309 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: and she doesn't look back. I think this goes hand 310 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 1: in hand with the next piece of advice that positive 311 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 1: psychology might give those of us who are feeling a 312 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: little bit stuck right now. Don't focus on the negatives. 313 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: That is a lot harder for some people versus others, 314 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,919 Speaker 1: especially those who are just naturally pessimistic. I think we 315 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: often see people who have a negative outlook on life 316 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,239 Speaker 1: as having some kind of control over that, but there 317 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: are just people who think that way. There are optimists 318 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: and they're pessimists in the world, which is totally fine. 319 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: We love our differences on this podcast. But if you 320 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: are someone who kind of always sees things as not 321 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,919 Speaker 1: working out or is really pessimistic about your future or 322 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: what might go right for you, and you're focusing on 323 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 1: what might go wrong, it's important that you kind of 324 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,959 Speaker 1: don't focus on that internal voice, but focus more on 325 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: external reward and pursuing things that validate a different belief 326 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: in your mind that things can get better and things 327 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,719 Speaker 1: will go right for you. One way that a lot 328 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 1: of psychologists suggest doing this is through scheduling positive reinforcement 329 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 1: around your goals, so that when you are struggling with 330 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: where you're going, you don't fall back on thinking that 331 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: life sucks and isn't going to give you what you want. 332 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: So scheduling positive reinforcement might involve rewarding yourself when you 333 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,400 Speaker 1: take actions towards the life that you want, even if 334 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: they're small, and making it so that you're not just 335 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: dependent on fate and good luck and factors outside your 336 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,399 Speaker 1: control to feel positive about your choices. So those are 337 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,360 Speaker 1: some of the pieces of advice that positive psychology kind 338 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: of gives to us. But there are some other more 339 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 1: meditative practices, I would say, more mindful practices that we 340 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: see across a few domains of psychology that I think 341 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,680 Speaker 1: are really also important to integrate into this and into 342 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 1: our personal narratives around when we're getting stuck. So if 343 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: we've talked about what positive psychology can do for us, 344 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: but what about kind of a different vein, I really 345 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: want to talk about the role of values in recentering 346 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 1: our lives and giving us direction, because this is something 347 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: that I think is a lot more tangible. It's not 348 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: around you know, how you feel about yourself and your 349 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: thoughts and your experiences, but is direct actions and kind 350 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: of a really yeah, an actionable way to restore restore 351 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: your faith in yourself that everything is, you know, going 352 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: to be okay, You're going to figure it out. I 353 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: saw someone explain this really well, and why our sense 354 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: of value, our values as well, not just our sense 355 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,359 Speaker 1: of value, but our values, our sense of mission and 356 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 1: passion and connection in life is really important in the time, 357 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: in these kind of tough times that I'm sure many 358 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:20,199 Speaker 1: of your experience experiencing right now. It's also about separating 359 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,159 Speaker 1: yourself from external things you are not just work. You 360 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: are not just your career. I say this to myself 361 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 1: all the time when I'm feeling really burnt out or 362 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 1: feeling really stuck in my job. You're not just how 363 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: much money you have either, And you're not just your relationships. 364 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:41,919 Speaker 1: You are made up of many, many amazing and individual 365 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 1: components that aren't always externally motivated or externally driven, but 366 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 1: are just as important and really important to rest and 367 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 1: to kind of rely on in times like this. So 368 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: this person, I thought this was a really interesting concept. 369 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: They describe this idea of a win, and your win 370 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 1: is kind of the thing or the essence of yourself 371 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: that will help you get out of a rut, and 372 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 1: you know, center back on what you have to offer, 373 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 1: where you want to go, and what you're doing. So 374 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: your win win is kind of interchangeable with your sense 375 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: of self is comprised of these five elements, so mission, profession, connection, passion, 376 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 1: and vibration. This sounds really spiritual, but I promise it's 377 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:37,439 Speaker 1: tangible as well and quite scientific. A lot of psychologists 378 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:42,680 Speaker 1: and psychology as a field of study, identify that our 379 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:48,160 Speaker 1: sense of self is not a singular thing. It's made 380 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 1: up of a lot of different aspects, and rarely do 381 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 1: you find someone who's mission, profession, connection, passion, and vibration 382 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 1: all aligned. So they're all equally important and you can't 383 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 1: be nicing one or the other. So let's just break 384 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,919 Speaker 1: down what these are and why it's important to really 385 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 1: write down and state exactly what these five elements of 386 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: yourself mean to you if you're trying to push yourself 387 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: into the next chapter. So your mission is kind of 388 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 1: your overarching objective. It's the why in your question of existence. 389 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,600 Speaker 1: And you know this feels really scary, but it's kind 390 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: of your guide star. It's going to tell you what 391 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,880 Speaker 1: kind of course of action and what course you want 392 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 1: to take to reach that kind of ideal self and 393 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: that ideal life that we're all kind of striving towards. 394 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: Your mission can be really really simple, and it can 395 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,959 Speaker 1: be whatever you want it to be. Maybe your mission 396 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: is to become a doctor. Your mission is to travel 397 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: as much as you can. Maybe your mission is to 398 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: start a family. Maybe your mission is just to have 399 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: a lot of friends, to be happy, to live in nature. 400 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 1: Whatever you want it to be, it is the one 401 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: thing that you can rest back on and say, even 402 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: if everything else goes to shit like this is my goal, 403 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: this is where I'm heading. Your profession is kind of 404 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 1: the application of your unique skills in a manner that 405 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 1: you know typically serves the mission, but not always. So 406 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 1: it's kind of the things you'd put on your resume 407 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 1: if you were applying for a job, or it might 408 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 1: be your job. It's the kind of things in your 409 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,359 Speaker 1: life that make up your working life and your career. 410 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, the application of skills is probably the best 411 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: way to say it. And it kind of links back 412 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,879 Speaker 1: to the having confidence in your own self and having 413 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,400 Speaker 1: confidence in your skills. So your profession is the things 414 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:42,120 Speaker 1: that you can identify that make you valuable. Maybe it's writing, 415 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: maybe it's speaking, Maybe it is like very distinct you know, characteristics, attributes, 416 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 1: whatever you want to call them, Like your job. Maybe 417 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,120 Speaker 1: it's your job title. Maybe it's you know, the volunteer 418 00:24:56,200 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 1: experience you had. It's the tangible things that you can say, Okay, 419 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,120 Speaker 1: this is what I've done, this is what I have, 420 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 1: and this is what is different and important about me. 421 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: Often they're applied to your career, as the word profession 422 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 1: kind of says, But if you're someone who that's not 423 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 1: really part of your own goal. They can be as 424 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 1: unique and different as you want them to be, but 425 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 1: they're your skills. Next, you have your passion, and your 426 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 1: passion as you could as you could be kind of 427 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,680 Speaker 1: sense might be different from your mission and your profession. 428 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:33,679 Speaker 1: Your passions transcend, They kind of transcend the things that 429 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 1: we feel required to do, and they're the things that 430 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: we are excited to do. And you don't always have 431 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 1: to derive some kind of you know, money or worth 432 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 1: or direct kind of impact on your mission from these. 433 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,719 Speaker 1: You know, you might just really like knitting or fishing 434 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: and that might be your passion. You don't need to 435 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: make money off of it. It's not going anywhere. You 436 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: can just do it and enjoy it. Like for me 437 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: it's rock climbing, it's making this podcast, this podcast, you know, 438 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,679 Speaker 1: it's you know, as much as it's important to me, 439 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: I have a job outside of this. It's not my mission. 440 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: It's just something that I really love doing that makes 441 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 1: me enthusiastic, and it's the application of my profession and 442 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: of my skills. So it builds me up in a 443 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 1: way that's different to my career and different to my 444 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: long term goals, but it's still important because it makes 445 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: me feel good, and it's kind of creates an identity 446 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,639 Speaker 1: that's separate from my working life and separate from my 447 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 1: relationships and from other things that feel really immovable. Your 448 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: passion is kind of the deeper essence of who you are, 449 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 1: and that brings us to connection. Connection is the relationships 450 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: you have with others. These are important to think about 451 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: when you're feeling like you're lost or you're feeling like 452 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,359 Speaker 1: you're direction lists, because chances are there are people who 453 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,959 Speaker 1: are looking at you thinking that you have everything together, 454 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 1: people who love you as well, and that sense of connection, 455 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,600 Speaker 1: even in times of feeling really lost, is important to 456 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 1: think back on and to think about and to kind 457 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,360 Speaker 1: of bring to the actions that you want to take 458 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: to achieve your goals. Even if everything goes wrong, you know, 459 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 1: you might still have that amazing relationship with your best 460 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 1: friend or with your parents. You will always have people 461 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 1: that love you and will support you and who you 462 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: can enjoy and spend time around. So the final element 463 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: of our win of the things that make up our 464 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: self and which are important to really think about and 465 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 1: ponder when you're thinking about the direction of your life, 466 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,879 Speaker 1: is your vibration. It's the state of being that extends 467 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: way beyond your relationships. It extends beyond your profession, your 468 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: passion and your mission. And it's kind of how you 469 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 1: represent yourself to the world, not in terms of your skills, 470 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: not in terms of your relationship, but in terms of 471 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: your vibration. What are you kind of bringing to the world. 472 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: You a happy, bubbly person, Do you have this kind 473 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 1: of warm energy? How would you see yourself through the 474 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,239 Speaker 1: eyes of others, and what kind of energy do you 475 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:14,680 Speaker 1: bring into spaces? Vibration to me, it's kind of probably 476 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: the most important, although I know I said none of 477 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: them are more important than the other, but it is 478 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: completely separate from you. It's obviously related, but it's separate 479 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 1: from the other things. No matter what happens in your life, 480 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,119 Speaker 1: you get to choose the energy that you bring to 481 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,320 Speaker 1: your endeavors and that you bring to your life, and 482 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 1: the passion that you have and the things that you 483 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: enjoy and the things that you notice. So your vibration 484 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 1: is kind of that sense of where you're standing in 485 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 1: the world and what you kind of want to put forth. 486 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 1: So this psychologist says that it's really important to focus 487 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: on all of them at the same time in times 488 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 1: when you are feeling a little bit lost, because it 489 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: allows you to find meaning beyond the things that we 490 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: normally feel directionless about, like work, like education, like careers, 491 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: and recognize that your sense of self is tied to 492 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 1: you know, many many other things. Who you present, you know, 493 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 1: how you present to the world, the person you are. 494 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 1: It doesn't always have to be about what you're achieving 495 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 1: and where you're going, but about the you know, but 496 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 1: about how you treat others, the connection you have with others, 497 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: where you find enjoyment. So the way that I bring 498 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,959 Speaker 1: this kind of idea of the wind into steering myself 499 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 1: back onto the course that I want is through this 500 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 1: journaling exercise that I find so fulfilling and as it 501 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: also kind of serves as a really good real time 502 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: indicator of what's kind of going on in my life, 503 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 1: what I want and what I'm achieving. So there's this 504 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: it's this journaling exercise, and it asks you to think 505 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: about your life in three months, Picture what your ideal 506 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 1: self in three maybe even six months. What are they doing, 507 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: who are they surrounded by, how are they making I 508 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: don't know, money, what are their passions and what brings 509 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 1: them happiness. Sit down and plan out the key elements 510 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,560 Speaker 1: of what your life looks like. So for me, I 511 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: did this a couple of months ago, and I said, 512 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 1: in six months time, I'm going to have you fifty 513 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 1: thousand listens on the podcast, and I'm going to have 514 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 1: amazing friends in this new city. It's almost like a manifestation, 515 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: this is what I want. And the next part of 516 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 1: the exercise is more tricky, but if you push it, 517 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: you'll find that it's not as difficult as you think. 518 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: Think about how you can reach that state. What exactly 519 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 1: are the actions you need to take, even if they're small, 520 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: that's going to allow you to realize that ambition for 521 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,440 Speaker 1: your life. Really think about it. If you know your job, 522 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: if you want you know you're one of your pictures 523 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 1: of your life in six three months, whatever you choose 524 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: is I'm going to be working in a job that 525 00:30:55,880 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 1: I really love. The actions would be, you know, apply 526 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 1: and try different jobs, Try different jobs. Think about and 527 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: identify what's important to me in a job. Think about 528 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: what makes me happy and what I want to do 529 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: and what I drive enjoyment out of. If it's being 530 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: around animals, you kind of know that having a job 531 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: that you love in six months probably needs to involve 532 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,719 Speaker 1: some element of that. If you love being outdoors, you know, 533 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: a bad action would probably be to start applying for 534 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 1: office jobs, because it's unlikely that's going to allow you 535 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 1: to reach that goal, that six month goal of having 536 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,560 Speaker 1: a job that you like. So if you are feeling 537 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 1: direction list, it's something that I really recommend is just 538 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 1: sitting with your vision and your thoughts of what you 539 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: want in the future and writing it down, writing exactly 540 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: and as explicit and detailed as possible. What do you want, 541 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,520 Speaker 1: even if it's grand, even if it doesn't seem achievable. 542 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: Where do you want to be in six months? What 543 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: are you doing in that day, you know, six months time, 544 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,600 Speaker 1: on a Tuesday or Wednesday? What is your daily life like? 545 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: And how can you get there? What are the actions 546 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,480 Speaker 1: you need to take? And I promise you things kind 547 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 1: of fall into place. I think also people notice when 548 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,360 Speaker 1: you're trying to get yourself out of a rut, and 549 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: opportunities will fall into your lap as you work towards them. 550 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: I think this is a shorter episode, but that's really 551 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: all I wanted to say. That's what I wanted to 552 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: talk about. It's more of just my thoughts on this 553 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: topic because it's something I've been feeling. I've been feeling 554 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: just super burnt out and for the first time I 555 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: think in a while, not having a clear vision or 556 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,040 Speaker 1: goal of where I want my life to be. But 557 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 1: that's also super freeing because I know that this is 558 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: the time when I can try many, many things and 559 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 1: fall back on my relationships and screw up and fuck 560 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: up and quit jobs and do whatever I want, and 561 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 1: it's all going to be all right, because this is 562 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 1: the decade for making mistakes and figuring things out. So 563 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 1: if you're feeling directionless, I get it, But I also 564 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: would like to remind you that you're not alone. So 565 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: many people during this time feel exactly the same way, 566 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,720 Speaker 1: and so many people before you have as well, and 567 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: always always works out. Thank you for listening to this smaller, shorter, 568 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: but hopefully enjoyable episode. As always, if you have enjoyed it, 569 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: please leave a review if you feel cool to do 570 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,520 Speaker 1: so on either Apple Podcasts or Spotify wherever you're listening 571 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 1: right now. It really helps the podcast grow and reach 572 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: new people, and it makes my day to see that 573 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 1: people like this I don't know. I record these in 574 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 1: my bedrooms, I write these scripts on my little laptop, 575 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: and it is my passion. It's part of my win. 576 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 1: So getting that kind of feedback that people like it 577 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: and that it's resonating with people not only makes me 578 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: feel really happy, but let's alone in this kind of weird, 579 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,320 Speaker 1: weird time. So thank you again for all of the support, 580 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,760 Speaker 1: and I will see you next week when we're talking 581 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: about situation ships.