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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yanta and know it

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Speaker 1: all and her words come from her head, her heart,

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Speaker 1: and often out of her ass. This podcast should not

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Speaker 1: be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a

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Speaker 1: huge strain of salts for entertainment purposes.

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Speaker 2: Only you need help. You're the problem. Come on, come

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Speaker 2: do go, lamb take a pill. I think you're insane.

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Speaker 2: Do what I say, dumb ass? You listen to me?

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Speaker 2: You Hi, everybody, It's Lisa Lambinelli. Welcome back, the podcast

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Speaker 2: that keeps on given till it hurts and not till

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Speaker 2: it helps. Lisa leabanell each this, how's everybody doing good?

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Speaker 2: Love to hear that we're here today with a very

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Speaker 2: special episode. Sadly there's no Nick, Celia. How do you

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Speaker 2: feel about Are you so sad?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 4: I feel like I'm gonna be bullied a little bit less.

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Speaker 2: You will be bullied less, and you know it's wild

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Speaker 2: instead because Nick doesn't care about us right now. This

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Speaker 2: week I have my friend Andrew Ginsburg, who I've talked

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Speaker 2: about very much on the show. As I mentioned you,

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Speaker 2: you are my favorite Jew, and I will say it

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Speaker 2: is happily we are taping on International Holocaust Remembrance Day,

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Speaker 2: so it's a good jew coincidence.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. No, there's no one more Jewy than me.

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Speaker 2: That is absolutely true. I always say my Jewish friend Andrew,

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Speaker 2: but I should just say my friend Andrew Ginsburg because

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Speaker 2: Ginsburg is a very Jewish name.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it doesn't get more Jewish.

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Speaker 2: No, And I also wore my second favorite jew on

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Speaker 2: my shirt, Bernie Sanders. I'm not a full on socialist,

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Speaker 2: but just him scowling makes me laugh. So we are

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Speaker 2: here having Andrew. And by the way, by the way,

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Speaker 2: Nick is a quote personal trainer. Now we have someone

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Speaker 2: in the studio who's a personal trainer but actually looks

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Speaker 2: like one because you're not girthy and large and have

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Speaker 2: big tips. So congratulations, thank you.

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Speaker 5: I don't have the personality.

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Speaker 2: Though, oh big?

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Speaker 4: Oh is this?

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Speaker 2: See? Let's kiss Nick's ass? I feel guilty for warming

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Speaker 2: his chair. It's okay, don't worry. I decided to have

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Speaker 2: you on because we talk a lot on this show

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Speaker 2: about self discovery and figuring out what's right for you,

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Speaker 2: and I thought we should do an episode on quitting

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Speaker 2: things because I've said before on the podcast, quitting is

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Speaker 2: my superpower, and I think I always know when to go,

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Speaker 2: whether it's from a marriage, from a house, from a town,

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Speaker 2: from a job, from a career. And I don't think

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Speaker 2: people know that it's okay to quit. They think quitting

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Speaker 2: is a negative term. I happen to think it's a

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Speaker 2: very healthy term. And before we get into the subject,

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Speaker 2: someone who I wish would quit is also here. Celia

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Speaker 2: say hello once again. Wow, I like it's we know

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Speaker 2: she can take a joke, and her tell for not

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Speaker 2: being able to take a joke. She turns really red.

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Speaker 2: So I think you're white? No, you're white right now? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you hit you're just whitey.

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Speaker 4: That wasn't that didn't hit me hard enough. That wasn't like.

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Speaker 2: Because it's not true. Yeah, I love you. When Stephanie

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Speaker 2: filled in, we wanted to kill ourselves. Oh my god, Stephanie, no,

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Speaker 2: don't do my girl like dad about Rachel. You turned

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Speaker 2: into a drag queen or a black person when you

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Speaker 2: just said don't do my girl like dieg.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm not trying to impersonate either, because.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, oh boy, you are a font of goodness. Uh, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so anyway, so quitting the reason I thought about you

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Speaker 2: Andrew Ginsburg, who, by the way, I will say, please

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Speaker 2: preorder his new children's book is on Amazon. It's coming

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Speaker 2: out on April seventh, but preorder. It's called The Colors

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Speaker 2: of My Sky. It's for K through third grade. But

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Speaker 2: I will say, like I read it, I'm really good reader,

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Speaker 2: and did I was very touched by it. I thought

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Speaker 2: it was adorable. It was really well done.

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, did you?

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Speaker 5: So?

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Speaker 2: I thought of you? Because to me, leaving something when

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Speaker 2: you know it's wrong for you is a great thing

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Speaker 2: to do. It is not negative. It is powerful. So

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Speaker 2: tell us a little about how you end up in

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Speaker 2: the position of this children's book writer opposed to what

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Speaker 2: you used to do, which.

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Speaker 5: Is what stand up comic.

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Speaker 2: And there was no one, and I tell you, no

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Speaker 2: one who was less likable on that stage than you.

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Speaker 5: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Now you are lovable in real life. Look at you.

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Speaker 2: You're a mountain of a man. Very handsome. By the way, though,

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Speaker 2: when Nick and Bo, my friend Nick as you know

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Speaker 2: him from the podcast, and also our friend Bo told me, wow,

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Speaker 2: we know this guy Gintinsburg. He's fantastic. He's a great guy.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna love him. We start hanging out, they go,

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Speaker 2: he's a ten. When it comes to looks, I may

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Speaker 2: have just more harsh judgment. I give you a six. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you may have worked your way up to a six

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Speaker 2: and a half because I have love for you as

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Speaker 2: a friend now, but what do you put yourself on

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Speaker 2: the level as far as looks go? You have terrible

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Speaker 2: self esteem?

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Speaker 5: Terrible?

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Speaker 2: What would you say objectively? You are?

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Speaker 5: I started putting gel in my hair this year at

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Speaker 5: forty six years old. Wow, I think now I'm a

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Speaker 5: solid seven.

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Speaker 2: H don't get fancy, don't get it conceited. Maybe okay,

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Speaker 2: So you think the gel bumped you up?

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Speaker 5: I do. The hair used to be a big mess.

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Speaker 5: I had this big mop of a head and it

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Speaker 5: would stick up, and I finally put it down with

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Speaker 5: some gel. I think, think about me up half a point.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe our our listeners will weigh in on

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Speaker 2: your appearance. It's fine, I mean it's better than nick.

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Speaker 2: I mean, come on, yes, but who am I to judge? Anyway?

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Speaker 2: So we meet because my friends say Andrewgans were a

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Speaker 2: great guy, funny guy. And we started hanging out, and

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Speaker 2: so then I started going to your guys' show, give

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Speaker 2: you notes. I had nothing to do at the time.

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Speaker 2: There was no podcast, no coaching, no nothing. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go watch these guys. And I remember I

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Speaker 2: always thought your jokes were well written. But I'm like,

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Speaker 2: why don't people like him? Because you're a lovable guy

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Speaker 2: in real life. You're one of my favorite people. You're

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Speaker 2: one of my best friends. So I'm like, why don't

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Speaker 2: they like him? And I think one day I was like,

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Speaker 2: how do you tell someone that it's just not translating?

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Speaker 2: So do what do you remember that about that time period?

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Speaker 5: Exactly what you just said. I was always a writer

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Speaker 5: on a writer doing stand up. I was I liked

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Speaker 5: writing the jokes. I didn't love performing, and it came

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Speaker 5: out that way. I felt uncomfortable. I didn't like being

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Speaker 5: up late at night. I just like writing the jokes.

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Speaker 5: I thought my writing would get me far. And you know,

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Speaker 5: if they want writing, they'll read a book.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. So you when I would

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Speaker 2: say things like we tried different things, Remember like for

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Speaker 2: a while, I was like, well just try what was

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Speaker 2: it wearing a collared shirt? Because you were wearing T

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Speaker 2: shirts so you look like two buff and I was like, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe the men don't like you because like you're threatening

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Speaker 2: looking to their women. I don't know, like wear a

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Speaker 2: button down shirt, it'll elevate it. What else? Did we try?

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Speaker 2: Sitting down because you're so freaking tall?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: How tall are you?

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Speaker 5: Six three?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? That's off putting because you have to you what

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Speaker 2: it was because you had to lean over. You almost hunched.

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, if you sit, you'll look more relaxed,

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Speaker 2: you won't look as stiff, and tried that and then

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Speaker 2: what really made you go? Fuck this? We're done?

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Speaker 5: Uh leaving my kids at night and reading. I was

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Speaker 5: reading books to them, but we called book party every night.

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Speaker 5: I read two books seven thirty seven o'clock. That's when

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Speaker 5: the shows are. Right now, I'm gonna go tell my

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Speaker 5: jew riddles.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, his jokes, jew riddles.

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Speaker 5: Because there were one liners. They didn't really give you anything.

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Speaker 5: I'd do sixty of them in the thirty minutes that

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Speaker 5: it was just lined up after another, and I'm like,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna go or do my little jew riddles to strangers.

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Speaker 5: When I could read books to my kids, and you know,

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Speaker 5: the kids get a lot more out of it than

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Speaker 5: the audience is yes, and so do I. It was

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Speaker 5: it just didn't fit. It wasn't serving me anymore. So

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Speaker 5: why am I doing this? And I stopped?

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Speaker 2: Had it ever served you? What do you think it

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Speaker 2: did for you? And was there always something gnawing inside

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Speaker 2: of like I don't think this fits, but I have

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Speaker 2: to keep with it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. The guy that helped me in Boston, Teddy Bergeron,

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Speaker 5: gave me some confidence and taught me the ropes a

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Speaker 5: little bit, and you know, I moved to me. I

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Speaker 5: felt like I should keep it up because Teddy thought

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Speaker 5: I had potentially right, so it should.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of it's like whenever we're told we

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Speaker 2: should do something. Yeah, was there also if you look

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Speaker 2: back now, a want from the inside? Was it I

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Speaker 2: really want to do this, I really love this.

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Speaker 5: I wanted to There was two things I wanted when

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Speaker 5: I moved to New York to do stand up. I

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Speaker 5: wanted the picture outside Carolines because that is just.

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Speaker 2: A tourist, that's true.

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Speaker 5: Oh no, your picture, sure, my poster outside Carolines. Because

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Speaker 5: I lived in Midtown, I would walk by as your poster,

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Speaker 5: I said, Jim Norton. I'd see Paul Mooney Dick Gregory,

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Speaker 5: and I really wanted to be that. That was what

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Speaker 5: I wanted. When I was twenty five and I auditioned

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Speaker 5: for Lewis and he liked me.

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Speaker 2: It was the legendary booker at Carolines. And I always

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Speaker 2: wonder because you were like, Lewis really likes me, and

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Speaker 2: Louis is gay, And secretly was like, Louis just wants

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Speaker 2: to fuck you. Like he's not going to try to

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Speaker 2: because he's a gentleman and you're you're married, He's never

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Speaker 2: going to do anything like that. But part of me

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Speaker 2: was like, he's dazzled by you your looks.

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Speaker 5: I mean. I also so I was doing single material

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Speaker 5: then because I was single, and that was slowly more

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Speaker 5: likable than marriage and kids material, I think because it

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Speaker 5: was more relatable to the younger people. But you know,

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Speaker 5: eventually I did get the post direct outside Carolina Way,

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Speaker 5: and that was a good moment for ego. But what

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Speaker 5: I was doing up on stage was not special by

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Speaker 5: any means, and I knew that it felt uncomfortable and

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Speaker 5: the other thing I wanted to do was perform stand

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Speaker 5: up on television. I did a stand up contest on

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Speaker 5: the view It's Not Late night, but it's close to me.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, did you win? No, do you remember

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Speaker 2: who you lost to?

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Speaker 5: I don't remember his name, but.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's probably a nobody anyway.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it was funnier than me. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know what, It's funny because I remember there

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Speaker 2: was a moment that I was like, oh, he's gonna

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Speaker 2: be able to hear from me that he can quit

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Speaker 2: once you said one thing at the diner, Like I

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Speaker 2: was like, I'm not going to tell him to quit,

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Speaker 2: but I bet I see an opening now. We were

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Speaker 2: sitting there talking about comedy and Bo was struggling with

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Speaker 2: writing some stuff and didn't know if he should write

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Speaker 2: more serious stuff about recovery because he's sober and what

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Speaker 2: to do. And he goes, I just love it. I

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Speaker 2: mean it's just like I love doing it. I love

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Speaker 2: it so much. And he goes, Andrew, come on, when's

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Speaker 2: the first time you remember really loving comedy?

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Speaker 5: And you were like, never, never, not once. I dreaded it.

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Speaker 5: I dreaded every single show. I wasn't looking forward to it.

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Speaker 5: I did it because I felt obligated to in some

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Speaker 5: weird way, and you know, it would feel good sometimes

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Speaker 5: after if the set went well, and horrific if it didn't.

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Speaker 5: But I before I dreaded it. Not one show was like, oh,

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Speaker 5: this is gonna be awesome.

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Speaker 2: Like so when you look back on it and you've

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Speaker 2: had a lot of therapy and I think that's great.

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Speaker 2: What do you really think was driving staying in something

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Speaker 2: that doesn't fit.

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Speaker 5: Not wanting to quit, not wanting to look myself in

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Speaker 5: the eye and say, ah, I failed failed, not not

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Speaker 5: being really not looking at real reality and saying, you know,

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Speaker 5: the shoes don't fit. And I just thought I could

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Speaker 5: keep going. I thought it was like anything, keep working

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Speaker 5: at it, you'll get there.

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Speaker 2: Is, by the way, no shade that you would think that,

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Speaker 2: because that's what we have drummed into our head. It's

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Speaker 2: just not true. Yeah, Like I could try for the

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Speaker 2: rest of my life to be the greatest painter in

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Speaker 2: the world. It's not going to happen. Like, I don't

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Speaker 2: have natural ability for it. So you picked something initially

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Speaker 2: that wasn't the right fit, and then eventually it was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I have all this evidence mounting that this isn't correct

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, twenty five years of evidence.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So there was never so you'd come off

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Speaker 2: stage sometimes if it was half decent, and you'd be like, okay,

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Speaker 2: escaped by the skin of my teeth. That was fine.

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Speaker 2: But there was never a oh man, I can't wait.

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Speaker 2: I would like, you know, just I would die before

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Speaker 2: I would stop this. This is fun. No, there was

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Speaker 2: no to go.

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Speaker 5: Home, can't wait to go home, can't wait to be

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Speaker 5: in bed right right?

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Speaker 2: I think that's or I would say with the writing now,

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Speaker 2: which sounds like a way more natural fit, because I

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Speaker 2: think it's so obvious doors open when you start getting published,

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Speaker 2: and like it's like, oh, look at that, like something

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Speaker 2: worked for me that I didn't have to kill myself

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Speaker 2: for and feel like I didn't fit the job, like

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Speaker 2: when you arguably be like I could either be doing

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Speaker 2: stand up that I'm really not good at, but I'm

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Speaker 2: forcing oh, I'd rather be homewriting, like which there's more

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Speaker 2: of a lightness. It sounds around that other.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I just wanted to be homewriting. It's comfortable for me.

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Speaker 5: Time goes by quickly with that. I look forward to it,

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Speaker 5: I sit down to write it, I'm really excited. I

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Speaker 5: never felt that way with stand up. I liked writing

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Speaker 5: the jokes. I'm like, oh, this is funny, this is clever.

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Speaker 5: But that was it.

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Speaker 2: And also you liked hanging out, which I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of the if it was with friends, like it

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Speaker 2: was friends shows, yeah, so it wasn't like you're like,

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Speaker 2: can't wait to go do that open mic or that

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Speaker 2: show here or there. But oh, if it was like

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Speaker 2: a bunch of pals, like it just has a lightness,

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Speaker 2: it's like, well then just hang out with them, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like schedule the time to hang out. But I think

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Speaker 2: yet the idea that quitting is a failure is just

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Speaker 2: not true. It's leaving something that isn't right for you anymore.

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Speaker 2: And I think if it's a friendship, a marriage, a job,

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Speaker 2: or whatever, like you would fully say to someone else, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you should just leave, But when it's ourselves, it's hard

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Speaker 2: to kind of move forward on it.

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Speaker 5: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: So I remember the last straw for you was you

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Speaker 2: did a show. It was in Fairfield. Was this one

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Speaker 2: that you supposedly headlined? Okay, so Fairfield busted balls all

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Speaker 2: the time with people say headline. I always go, there's closers,

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Speaker 2: and there's headliners. Closers finish the show, they close the show,

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Speaker 2: and they have no name, like no one cares headliner is, Oh,

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Speaker 2: it's a headliner. You go to see them. So you're

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Speaker 2: closing the show in Fairfield, Connecticut. I think did Bow

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Speaker 2: and Nick do the show? And Nick killed because he

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Speaker 2: just has that natural thing. He sure does, doesn't I mean,

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Speaker 2: I want him to have jokes, but he doesn't need them.

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Speaker 2: He's so good with the crowd. He's off the cuff. Again.

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Speaker 2: I pushed for him to do jokes because that's kind

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Speaker 2: of how you get a special or on TV. You

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Speaker 2: can't just do crowd work forever. Even I had to

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Speaker 2: do that. So Nick, I think destroyed that night. He

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Speaker 2: did great, and you Bo did fine. I'm sure Bo

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Speaker 2: did well. Yeah, and so you went up and how

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Speaker 2: did that feel?

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Speaker 3: Wait?

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Speaker 2: You had on the shirt? You had on the button shirt.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I had no excuse that the buttons, the buttons

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Speaker 5: were all in, the buttons were correct. And I went

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Speaker 5: up there and just wasn't getting last. It was the

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Speaker 5: energy was way down from Bow and Nick, and the

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Speaker 5: order should have clearly been reversed.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 5: It wasn't right. And I ate it up there, I really,

321
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Speaker 5: and I just felt like, Okay, this is the end.

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Speaker 5: This is this this marriage and kid stuff that I'm

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Speaker 5: talking about with my jew riddles. It's just not appealing

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Speaker 5: to anybody. Yeah, I don't enjoy this. This is just

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Speaker 5: this doesn't feel good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I remember we got in the car. We're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: let's go to the diner. I'm like, you could ride

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Speaker 2: with me because I was like, oh, I see my opening.

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Speaker 2: And this is back when I was a big advice

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Speaker 2: giver without being asked, but I didn't care because I

331
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Speaker 2: was like, I have to save him from this life

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Speaker 2: of horror. And I think I was like, dude, it

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Speaker 2: just they're you're wearing a nine and a half shoe

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Speaker 2: and you're ten. It just doesn't fit. And I think

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Speaker 2: it was really calm and it was like quiet like that.

336
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Speaker 2: It wasn't what the bug and you're like yep, And

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Speaker 2: it was felt like that's how it landed for you?

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Speaker 5: Do is that how you because exactly how it landed.

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Speaker 5: It was really a funeral. It was it was a funeral.

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Speaker 5: It was right after the show. It was okay, it's

341
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Speaker 5: time to bury this stream or nightmare or whatever you

342
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Speaker 5: want to call it at that point and you know,

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Speaker 5: let's start grieving.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and did it what did it feel like internally?

345
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 2: Feel like in your body. What did it feel like?

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Speaker 2: What emotion came up for you?

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Speaker 5: Sadness? Spent a lot of years trying to do something,

348
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Speaker 5: you know, with shoes that didn't fit and a foot

349
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Speaker 5: that was growing bigger.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

351
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Speaker 5: Yeah, it was necessary. Like anything that that you quit,

352
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Speaker 5: it's going to be painful, but it was necessary. I

353
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Speaker 5: knew it. I knew it was the right time. I

354
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Speaker 5: knew this chapter was over.

355
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Speaker 2: So I give myself so much credit for waiting to

356
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Speaker 2: the right time. Should I have said nothing maybe with

357
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Speaker 2: somebody else, but you and I are close enough, and

358
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Speaker 2: it was quiet, and like I just saw that opening.

359
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm not saying to everybody, go tell your

360
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Speaker 2: friends to get divorced and quit their job. Wait till

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Speaker 2: the moment and maybe you don't say anything. But with you,

362
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Speaker 2: I was just like, I think he's ready. You almost

363
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 2: have to know somebody's ready. It's like if somebody's in

364
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Speaker 2: the hospice, you should probably pull the plug if they

365
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 2: ask you to, like they know they're ready. Okay, smother them.

366
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Speaker 2: You know, this show is pro euthanasia and killing people.

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Speaker 5: At bottom, that was my bottom, and it's time to

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Speaker 5: go to the clinic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So what did it feel like in the

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Speaker 2: days after, You're like, yeah, this is actually done. Because

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Speaker 2: how many years had it been? Like twenty years? I

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Speaker 2: oh my god, it's a lot. That's a lot of

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Speaker 2: time to invest.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I would to be fair, I wasn't fully invested.

375
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Speaker 5: I was not chasing down sets running around the city.

376
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Speaker 5: I was doing it leisurely, kind of half assed, and

377
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Speaker 5: it came off that way, but it felt it was

378
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Speaker 5: a big relief to be done. And then days following like, great,

379
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Speaker 5: never have to do that again.

380
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Speaker 2: So it felt like relief again, much like someone who's

381
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Speaker 2: been sick for with cancer for ten years and they

382
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Speaker 2: finally pass. Yes, you're sad, but there is that sense

383
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Speaker 2: of relief of like they're in a better place now,

384
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Speaker 2: Like I really thought after you quit, I was like, oh,

385
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Speaker 2: he's in a better place.

386
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Speaker 5: Then I'd say, yeah, and thank you for getting me there.

387
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Speaker 2: Hey, that's what I'm about, making people kill themselves. So

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Speaker 2: what did you Is it then that you started because

389
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Speaker 2: I remember we had talked about, Oh, I think you

390
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: have something to say though, so we started working on

391
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Speaker 2: a solo show about your upbringing. Was that right after.

392
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Speaker 5: Right after that? Yeah, I literally jump into something else.

393
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 5: You definitely have something to say, but not in this format.

394
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Speaker 5: And he geared me towards solo shows. And I remember

395
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Speaker 5: I watched your show and I said, I'm my god,

396
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,399
Speaker 5: this is amazing. I know what my thing is. I

397
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 5: emailed you. I said, my dad, my whole life, I've

398
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,119
Speaker 5: been trying to get my dad's approval. That's what my

399
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,680
Speaker 5: show would be if I was to do a show.

400
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,640
Speaker 5: He said, I'll help you with that. I'm like, oh

401
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 5: my god. Yeah, And that's what began that show Self

402
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Speaker 5: Worth List.

403
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Speaker 2: That was fun to work. I mean, it was heavy,

404
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 2: but it was fun to do. It's a good project.

405
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 2: Do you think then, what helped soothe the ending of

406
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 2: one thing was the gently beginning another thing.

407
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, I was ready to continue being creative, but

408
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 5: it needed to be It needed the space needed to

409
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Speaker 5: be available for something else.

410
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 2: That's right. It's like you have to something's always going

411
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 2: to suffer if it doesn't have any room to grow.

412
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: So yeah, got rid of one thing. Okay, but this

413
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Speaker 2: seemed to me like the right fit because it was serious.

414
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: It required good writing and discipline, which you could do.

415
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Speaker 2: So it wasn't like I didn't feel was medicating, just

416
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: with an activity because of you to come up with. Look, man,

417
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: now that I'm done with comedy, I'm just gonna like,

418
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 2: i decided I'm going to be an actor. I'm quitting

419
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 2: my job. I'm going to the city every day on auditions.

420
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 2: I would have been like, girl, you're just medicating, Like

421
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 2: what the fuck?

422
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 5: No?

423
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 2: So this felt right? And did you feel that show

424
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 2: was more fulfilling and more of a natural fit for you?

425
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Speaker 5: Absolutely most fulfilling thing I've ever done. It was meaningful.

426
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,160
Speaker 5: People liked it and it felt good. It was healing.

427
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 5: It was a really deep show, and yeah, it.

428
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 2: Did it help a lot with the dad stuff.

429
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 5: It did. It did mean so much of that was

430
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 5: trying to win my dad's approval and a rough upbringing

431
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 5: and putting it out there in those terms in front

432
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 5: of an audience, and you know, reflecting now on how

433
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Speaker 5: I'm a father and I'm trying to do my best.

434
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 5: It was incredibly healing.

435
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 2: It still is it is. It was good And how

436
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 2: did that feel? Performance? Why when you were up there

437
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 2: physically versus stand up? Like, what was the difference?

438
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 5: Much better because I didn't have to get a laugh

439
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 5: every ten seconds. I was there to tell my story

440
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 5: and give them something much deeper than jew riddles. There

441
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 5: were no jew riddles right there, weren't.

442
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 2: We wouldn't allow them. Yeah, I was like, no, trying

443
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: to be funny, stop it. But yet there were laughs.

444
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,399
Speaker 2: There were a lot of laughs.

445
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, with stories though, and yeah, obviously I saw that

446
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 5: that's a lot more powerful.

447
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 2: So I think it's like, this is probably what confuses

448
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 2: me why someone would start stand up of all things.

449
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,719
Speaker 2: If I'm not saying you're not a funny person, but

450
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: that's not the quality that hits people over the head.

451
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 2: About you, You're you're a great guy, You're mildly amusing,

452
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 2: you can talk very well. What made that the thing

453
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 2: to grab onto?

454
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 5: I watched Harlan and I just thought it was so cool.

455
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 5: I thought I thought it was really cool. It was

456
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 5: the coolness of it.

457
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think it's cool that that asshole on

458
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 2: Netflix climb that building. Actually I don't think that's cool,

459
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,920
Speaker 2: but I would never do it, So meaning, like, does

460
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 2: any part of you think, Okay, I know he can't

461
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 2: be conscious. Hey I'm not. I don't have an aptitude

462
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: for this, but I'm gonna show people I can do

463
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 2: the impossible. I could be the one unfunny jew on

464
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 2: the planet and make it work, Love me daddy. So

465
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 2: was that part of it?

466
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 5: One hundred and that one open mic I went to

467
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 5: that I bombed, and for some reason that comic told

468
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 5: me I had something. Had he not said anything, that

469
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 5: would have been it. Yeah, I would have gone home.

470
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 5: I would have I would have said, well.

471
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 2: That's that's I tried. Yeah, I tried.

472
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 5: I give myself credit. I was out there for two

473
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 5: horrible minutes. My left leg would and stuff shaken, and

474
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 5: now it's over. And that's that. That's not for me.

475
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 5: But this guy's like, Dad, you have something. That's telling

476
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 5: me I have something. He was like a father figure.

477
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 5: He was a much older, very successful comic whose career

478
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 5: didn't go as plan, but as far as talent wise,

479
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 5: he was somebody who I thought, do tell Yeah, he

480
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 5: told me that, and I listened. I was like, I

481
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 5: gotta do this. Teddy says I have something. Teddy has

482
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 5: says I have something. I kept going twenty five years.

483
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 2: It's like we didn't. We didn't lump in that. Teddy's

484
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 2: a raging, fucking alcoholic, raging out and we have to

485
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 2: be careful who we listen to. Yes, you know yes,

486
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 2: and it's just like, oh, does that person have what

487
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 2: we want? Well, I don't want an alcoholic life and

488
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 2: doing you know, clubs, and no this is not like

489
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 2: I'll check my facts, you know.

490
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 5: Yeah.

491
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 2: So it was a lot of approval base. It was all.

492
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 5: It was completely approval. It was Teddy's approval. And I

493
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 5: watched him go up that night and I said, oh

494
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 5: my god, he's so good. He was so good. Yeah,

495
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 5: and this guy thinks I have something. I got it.

496
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 5: I got to prove him right. So I kept go

497
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 5: and did you.

498
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 2: Just need rides? Because I've done that to people. Oh see,

499
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 2: oh he wanted company.

500
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe you want a company? Would let me open

501
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,160
Speaker 5: for him? And you know, you give me jokes, say this, they'll.

502
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 2: Love this jokes you which is great. Yeah, but I

503
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 2: think I've glombed onto or I've I've recruited openers who

504
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,439
Speaker 2: I was like, they've got a little something, but also

505
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 2: like they'll be fun in the car. Yeah, you know.

506
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 2: So maybe some of it's the friendship part and the connection,

507
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 2: which is no problem. But when you would deep down

508
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 2: as the years would go by and you put the

509
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: head on the pillow at night, did party you think

510
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 2: this just isn't right for me, and then in the

511
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 2: morning you just do it again, or did you just

512
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 2: suppress that I.

513
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 5: Felt that way. But I was personal training and I

514
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 5: was dating and I was having fun, So it really

515
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,919
Speaker 5: wasn't It was just like a little hobby. I treated

516
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 5: it like that. I wasn't. I wasn't doing what was

517
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 5: necessary to to get somewhere. So it was just like, oh,

518
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 5: it's a cool thing. I'm cool, I'm meeting I get

519
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 5: girls out of this. Well. Yeah, So it really wasn't

520
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 5: such such a point of turmoil. It was. It was

521
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 5: just like I knew I wasn't good because I would

522
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 5: see other people. I'm like, oh they're good. Wow, how's

523
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 5: he do that? I kind of knew my place, but

524
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 5: I kept doing it because it's like, oh, this is

525
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 5: kind of again, this is cool.

526
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,919
Speaker 2: And then how did the whole children's book stuff start?

527
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 2: Because I know you you mentioned it once that you'd

528
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 2: written one book, and I think it was because this

529
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: years ago, because oh, I have a kid, I want

530
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 2: to write a children's book. How did this end up

531
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 2: like being the thing that you know you're drawn to

532
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 2: and it took off.

533
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 5: I love reading to my kids more than anything in

534
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 5: the world. I had this client that I trained in

535
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 5: the city. You said, Andrew, if I can give you

536
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 5: one piece of advice. She was a grandmother, phenomenal mother.

537
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 5: She said, read a lot to your kids. So I

538
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 5: took that to heart and I did, and I started

539
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 5: loving it. I love the intimacy of it's just so

540
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 5: sweet and you know, you're you're cuddling with a kid

541
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 5: and they're laughing, and it's it doesn't get more tender

542
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,400
Speaker 5: or meaningful. And I was reading one book one night

543
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 5: to my kid and I'm like, God, I could write

544
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 5: something this bad.

545
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so little more bad, some great some of

546
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 2: the more bad leo.

547
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 5: My middle would put it in a say this is garbage,

548
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 5: and we throw the book quickly, like garbage, garbage. So

549
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 5: I'm like, I want to write something. I think I

550
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 5: could do something. The comedy taught me how to be succinct.

551
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 5: There's six hundred words in these books, so you have

552
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 5: to use them wisely. And I thought I could do that,

553
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 5: and I started trying, and it's it seemed to work.

554
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:42,439
Speaker 2: It sounds then like that trying that came from a

555
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: very honest place and motivated by the right goal, like

556
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 2: I'm going to entertain children. I'm going to start I'm

557
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 2: going to do my kid, and then it ended up going, oh,

558
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 2: this can entertain other kids because this publisher wants to

559
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 2: put it out. So I think that's like it's great. Well, yeah,

560
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 2: we shouldn't need external validation for anything, but that sounds

561
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 2: like it comes from the right kind of externals. It's

562
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 2: not some drunk who wants you in a car because

563
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 2: he can't drive himself or whatever. It comes from someone

564
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 2: who's like, oh, my kid likes it, like it just

565
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 2: as a sweetness to it. So did that just seem

566
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 2: to be the activity of even doing it feels better?

567
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 5: It felt great. I love children's books and I love

568
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 5: reading to kids, and writing a book would allow me

569
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 5: to do that both of those things. Go to schools

570
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 5: and read to kids, which I'll be doing this year.

571
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 5: I'm excited about.

572
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 2: That's so cool and.

573
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 5: It's a very sweet way to spend my time. And

574
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 5: I have no expectations of fame or fortune, but I

575
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 5: do know that I'll be able to read to kids

576
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 5: and hopefully make them laugh at these little things and

577
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 5: just just give them something. Yeah, you know, a lot

578
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 5: more meaningful than jew riddles.

579
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 2: I do seem to have meaning to it. Yeah, which

580
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 2: I think that's why even if nothing happens, even if

581
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 2: this doesn't sell, you don't get the next one, it

582
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 2: doesn't matter because there's a meaningful two years you've spent

583
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 2: doing it.

584
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's right. My kids are young now, well

585
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 5: I want to do this in ten years I don't know,

586
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 5: but right now it's right. It feels right. I have

587
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 5: no done in my mind that this is my path

588
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 5: right now.

589
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: So there's no internal I know we work a lot

590
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 2: with the same therapist on like where do you feel

591
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 2: it in your body kind of thing. There's no internal

592
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 2: struggle about it. There's no no no, no twins, no,

593
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 2: just just excitement and warmth.

594
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 5: It's yeah, this is something I know is right. It's

595
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 5: not even a question in my mind. This is this

596
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 5: is where I belong.

597
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: So what would you say to someone who's sort of

598
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 2: going through the same thing of like, ugh, I'm trying

599
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: this thing forever quitting equals failure. What would I do anyway?

600
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 2: What would you say to them.

601
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 5: Take an honest look at your talent and also how

602
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 5: to fix your life and if it's causing you you know,

603
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 5: dread and pain and suffering. Get out of there, don't

604
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 5: stay in something. You know a lot of actors stay

605
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 5: thee stay the course. I'm going to get my break,

606
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 5: and the thirty and forty and they're fifty and they're six.

607
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 5: I'm going to get my break. And I think burying

608
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 5: the ghost is a healthy thing.

609
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just grieving what could have been. Yeah, you know,

610
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 2: it's that death of a dream thing we talk about.

611
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I dreamed i'd be you know, selling

612
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 2: out Radio City or Madison Square and whatever. Oh, that's

613
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: kind of sad that that didn't happen. I think grieving

614
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 2: is like an important part of it. And I think

615
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: you writing the solo show is what helped you in

616
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 2: that grief, absolutely, because you did what was right for

617
00:30:55,520 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 2: you and the feelings of talking about it helped the show. Yeah. Wow, Andre,

618
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: you only tell us the name of the book again.

619
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 5: The Colors of My Sky.

620
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 2: And this is a very racist book, you said.

621
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 5: Now, it's a protest. It's a protest against racism and nationalism,

622
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 5: but it's told with butterflies, and the stories it used

623
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 5: uses metaphor to gay.

624
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: I'm just being no, Actually, it's not gay. It is

625
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 2: gay enough. I love it. It's super fucking cute, and

626
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 2: it's just it's funny because when you were we're brainstoring

627
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 2: the book at first, you had a black butterfly named Bleak.

628
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 2: I go, motherfucker, you can't fucking have a black butterfly

629
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: name Malik. Let's like, not do that, okay, so what

630
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: end up having? We just not have a.

631
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 5: Black No, we do not have a black butterfly.

632
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: Good. So they're all like weird colors that nobody is anyway.

633
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: So yeah, there's a white butterfly. Dude. It's really cute.

634
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 2: It's really it's really good. It's a I don't know,

635
00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: like I I find I do tear up a lot

636
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 2: of children's books just because it's so sweet. This one

637
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: I definitely do so April seventh, but pre order now

638
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: on Amazon. It's cheap as fuck, how old? How much

639
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: of children's books?

640
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 5: Hy ten bucks at Jesus.

641
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: Christ by four for all your dumb kids who get

642
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 2: your stupid Celia just ordered five. You didn't even have kids,

643
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 2: you didn't even get sperm in or do you? Okay, Andrew,

644
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 2: we have some letters from people who to quitter or

645
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: not to quit that is the question. Oh, by the way,

646
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: if you have a question for us, send it to

647
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 2: shrink this show at gmail dot com. And by the way,

648
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,479
Speaker 2: since Nick isn't here and we always have to promote

649
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: his dumb social media because all he does is say

650
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 2: yo yo, Nick Scopes. You can find me at uber eats.

651
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 2: Where can they find you Andrew Ginsburg?

652
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 5: Oh, you can find this big jew at Andrew Ginsburg

653
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 5: with the you like the judge, not the poet with

654
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 5: the ease. There's actually another comic call.

655
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 2: So don't follow that hat. Well he's yeah, so so

656
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: Andrew g I N S b U r G on Instagram. Listen.

657
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 2: I love how you assume our audience is smart enough

658
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 2: to know Ginsburg was a poet and or a judge.

659
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: They don't neither. Our audience is stupid. Celia, where can

660
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: every rEFInd you? Girl?

661
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 3: My instagram is Celia Underscore, Underscore, rob.

662
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 4: And Ki Great.

663
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 2: I will and you find Stephanie Lee are former producer

664
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: at Lane Stephanie Lee.

665
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 5: No.

666
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 4: Nick kept messing up, saying, oh.

667
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 2: Okay, s t E P H something la score.

668
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 4: I think, Oh, who cares.

669
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 2: She's not here anyway? I don cares she's all dressed

670
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 2: up today because Paris Hilton is taping in a different

671
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: room and I'm like, oh, you're dressed up for Paris Hilton.

672
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 2: Then she tried to be all like shifty and nice

673
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 2: and go, no, it's for you too, lying. She looks

674
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 2: like shit every other fucking time she comes in. No,

675
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 2: you don't have any just kidding, Okay. Andrew reads a letter,

676
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 2: Dear Lisa what.

677
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 5: I'm a thirty one year old stand up comic who

678
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 5: moved to Hampshire to New York City about a year ago.

679
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 5: Since then, I've auditioned at a few clubs but have

680
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 5: not been passed anywhere, and I'm doing mostly bar shows.

681
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 5: I have two roommates who are stand ups and we

682
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 5: have fun, but sometimes after a rough show, I think

683
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 5: about quitting and moving back home. How do I know

684
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 5: if I have what it takes to make it to

685
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 5: the top, or if it's an unrealistic dream.

686
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's hard because he's not asking, he's

687
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 2: not really indicating he hates it or that he's not funny.

688
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 2: So I think all these people have to start doing

689
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 2: the problem is no one slows down enough to feel

690
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 2: into what they actually feel and want to do, so

691
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 2: if he was to after a show, eyes meditate, see

692
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: what comes up, see what thoughts he's having, see what

693
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 2: feelings are coming up? Even the next day, he'd be

694
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: able to figure out, is this something I like enough

695
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 2: to keep doing even if I'm not successful? So I

696
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 2: think the problem is we keep chasing without thinking and

697
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 2: without feeling. Do you agree with that?

698
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 5: Yeah? Absolutely, You just keep going because you got you're

699
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,720
Speaker 5: chasing that carrot. Yeah, you don't stop to think, well,

700
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 5: how's this affecting me? How do I feel? How's my

701
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 5: talent level? Yeah?

702
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: Like what does he say? What's the last what's like

703
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,399
Speaker 2: the actual question at the end of what.

704
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 5: It takes to make it to the top or if

705
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 5: it's an unrealistic dream?

706
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 2: Okay, the make it to the top pisses me off anyway,

707
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 2: because there's like ten people who make it to the top.

708
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: And by the way, what is the top? You know

709
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 2: what I mean? The top could be selling out Madison

710
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 2: Square Garden, But is it because Dice Clay sold it

711
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 2: out eight times and then somebody else is going to

712
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: sell it out twenty times and Kevin Hart's going to

713
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 2: do it then, So what's the top? I think the

714
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 2: question he should be asking is how do I know

715
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 2: if I love it enough to stick with it? I

716
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 2: always when I was I had such a uggo I

717
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 2: thought I was so great. I didn't care, but I

718
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: always would ask myself, Oh, like, would I do this

719
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: for free? Yes? Would I do it if I never

720
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 2: made it? Yes? Would this is such a blast? Yes?

721
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 2: Like I think Nix in that similar category. He wouldn't

722
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 2: do it for free because he's poor. But I was like, oh,

723
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 2: I had, you know this drive? But also it's a

724
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 2: fun hobby even if I don't get paid. Iven if

725
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 2: I'm just like the guy who makes twenty dollars at

726
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 2: whatever club? Cool. So I think it's a he's answering

727
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 2: asking the wrong question. So next, by the way, probably quick,

728
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 2: you probably don't have what it takes. Okay, go here, Lisa.

729
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 5: I've been married for four years, but the past two

730
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 5: years it's been a daily struggle. My husband works long

731
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,839
Speaker 5: hours and comes home every night angry. When I talk

732
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 5: to him, he's snappy and tells me how easy my

733
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 5: life is. He hates his job and I've told him

734
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 5: to find something else, but he refuses to. We've tried

735
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,879
Speaker 5: couples counseling and even a small break from each other,

736
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,479
Speaker 5: but he continues to treat me like crap. I still

737
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 5: care about him, but I can't continue to be treated

738
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 5: this way. How do I know when it's time to

739
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 5: give up on this marriage?

740
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 2: Oh God, I am the wrong person. I asked because

741
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 2: I hated marriage. I fucking hated it. I remember looking

742
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 2: at Jimmy and it wasn't his fault and just being like,

743
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 2: why is he here? Let me fucking die. I got

744
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 2: in his own apartment at one point because I was like, no,

745
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 2: it'll be cute. It's like a man cave. You can

746
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 2: just hang out there. It's like, I hate you. I

747
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 2: just hated living with someone, So I'm bad to ask

748
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 2: about this stuff. You're a married guy. You've been married twice.

749
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: We've all been married twice. Celia has been married four times.

750
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 2: What what do you think? Is this even about her

751
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 2: quitting or is it just like, Hi, I don't want

752
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 2: my spouse to abuse me anymore.

753
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds like she just doesn't want to feel

754
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 5: like shit every day.

755
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

756
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 5: I mean, if she has to continue being shit every day,

757
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 5: it's not gonna last.

758
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, and it's also like, honestly, so impossible to

759
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: tell someone to quote get out of there, because first

760
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: of all, there's finances that we don't know about. There's

761
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 2: suppose there's kids that adds a thing in I mean,

762
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: it sounds silly, but there's animals, there's houses. Like it'd

763
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 2: be easy enough for me to walk out on any

764
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 2: marriage because I'm set up. I wasn't always, but I'm like, okay,

765
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 2: But like, could I have looked at my parents, for instance,

766
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 2: just as an example, and been like, Daddy, you should

767
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: go because mommy was mad last night. Well guess what.

768
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,280
Speaker 2: There's a lot of factors involved that I don't know about.

769
00:38:55,040 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 2: So I think he sounds brutally unhappy as a human

770
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 2: and hates his job. I think the bigger question is

771
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: why isn't he looking for some job he doesn't hate.

772
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: And again that's a privileged point of view, because maybe

773
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 2: they don't live around. Where do they live? Where do

774
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 2: these yahoos live? Sometimes they live in a shitty place

775
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: that there's no fucking jobs Toronto. Oh there's jobs in Toronto.

776
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 2: You fucking lose or douche, stop yelling at your wife.

777
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 2: The thing he needs to quit is that job, get

778
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 2: a new one, and stop blaming her for his shitty

779
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 2: life or do you think sometimes he just secretly doesn't

780
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 2: like her. Maybe he doesn't like her and he's like,

781
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 2: just because I don't like that, he says to her,

782
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 2: her life is quote easy.

783
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 5: Like why, yeah, that's just dick.

784
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: Do they have kids? Did they mention that.

785
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 5: It doesn't look like they have kids?

786
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 2: And she should work. I'm not big into the housewife saying,

787
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 2: to be honest, like, if you have kids, I get it,

788
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 2: stay home with them, God bless, but the who's the homemaker?

789
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 2: Like we're in the fifties anymore? So I think you

790
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,360
Speaker 2: and I just think both of them murder suicide packs.

791
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 2: I think that sounds perfect and I will not quit that. Okay,

792
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 2: next letter.

793
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 5: Dear Lisa. I've been in a relationship for seven years.

794
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 2: Oh more relationships. See this stuff. I'm no expert.

795
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 5: He's kind, he's loyal. Nothing is wrong. I just feel numb.

796
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 5: We don't fight, we don't grow, we just exist.

797
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 2: Ugh.

798
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 5: How do you leave something that isn't bad just no

799
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 5: longer right without feeling like a selfish monster?

800
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 2: Oh God? I remember once I was at the therapist

801
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: and I said, this guy asked me out, and I

802
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: forget what it was and you know, he's fine, and

803
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 2: at the time you could say this, she goes, Listen,

804
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 2: there's lots of fine people out there. Homeless people are fine.

805
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: You wouldn't want to date one, which that's an unwoke therapist,

806
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 2: but she fucking was right. But yeah, just because someone's fine,

807
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 2: it's almost worse that he's fine. I'd rather date the

808
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 2: jerk off who's yelling that I'm a lazy count at home,

809
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 2: because at least there's some fire, at least you have

810
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,879
Speaker 2: some good makeup, sex or whatnot, Right, Celia, just say yes,

811
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 2: just yell yes into that microbe bitch. But like that

812
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: the hole. He's fine, but a numb I think that's

813
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 2: a sign to leave. And I'll tell you why, because

814
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 2: indifference is worse than hate. There's no passion.

815
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 5: What do you think, I think exactly that there's just

816
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 5: nothing there. It's just blah. That's a really terrible way

817
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 5: to go through life, because it'll just continue, yeah, less

818
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 5: and less until there's you know.

819
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 2: Like the embers aren't even warm anymore, the fire has

820
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 2: gone out. I think we acknowledge like as you're with

821
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 2: someone longer longer, it's not no longer like a raging

822
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 2: hormone bonfire, but there should be a little flame once

823
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: in a while. But this, like you can almost sense

824
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 2: it's I see the wood crumbling, ashy and going the

825
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 2: fire is indeed out. Yeah that sounds like a terrible relationship,

826
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 2: but it's so much harder to break up with somebody

827
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 2: who isn't an asshole like I've had that where I've said,

828
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 2: I've had boyfriends who I'm just like. I wish and

829
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 2: I don't didn't mean this, but I wish he'd just

830
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,479
Speaker 2: cheat on me. I wish you just hit me, because

831
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 2: then you'd have every reason to leave. But they don't

832
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: give you a solid reason. Did you ever have any

833
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 2: cheat on you? You must have, right, not that I know

834
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 2: of they did?

835
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 5: You know, I'm not that smart. I don't see signals,

836
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 5: you know.

837
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I and not that I know. Were you

838
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 2: a cheat at all?

839
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 5: No? Never, No, No, I would just get out of it,

840
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 5: you know.

841
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's smart because I'm.

842
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 5: A guilt ridden that's true. I can't live with myself

843
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 5: if I do something like that.

844
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 2: Remember, Oh, we one night at the dinner we were

845
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 2: talking about cheating and I just go listen. Man. One

846
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 2: thing I'm really proud of is I never cheated, and

847
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 2: I go, well, except in eighth grade, I made out

848
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 2: with the guy who's number one on the tennis team,

849
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 2: but I was dating the number two, so but that

850
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 2: was justified. And then I go, well, and that guy

851
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: in high school, And like I started, I think, other

852
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 2: than Jimmy big Balls, I think I have cheated on

853
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 2: just making out every single guy I ever did. And

854
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, I tell myself the story. I'm not a cheat,

855
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: but I'm a big fucking cheat. So I say, hey, lady,

856
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 2: cheat on your husband or break up with them. That's

857
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 2: the only two answers, am I writer? Am I right?

858
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 5: You're right?

859
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 2: Correct? Okay?

860
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 5: Last letter, Dear Lisa, my best friend keeps repeating the

861
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:49,280
Speaker 5: same toxic cycles. She's always talking or dating her ex,

862
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 5: who is terrible. She complains about twenty she complains about

863
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 5: him twenty four to seven, and I've listened, supported and

864
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 5: coached for years and nothing changes. I've told her not

865
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 5: to run to me when he hurts her again, but

866
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 5: she doesn't listen. How do I stop letting her stuckness

867
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 5: drain me? Rachel twenty seven, Denver, Oh.

868
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,720
Speaker 2: Drained in Denver is what we'll call it. Rachel. Well,

869
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna answer different than she wants me to. Guess

870
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: who needs to quit. You're thinking, Oh, Lisa's gonna say

871
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 2: she should quit the boyfriend. No, Rachel, you gotta quit

872
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: being an unpaid coach to this crazy cunt. It reminds

873
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 2: me of that episode of Sex in the City. Now

874
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 2: I know you Andrew probably did not watch Sex in

875
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 2: the City. I did, Oh you did, so you was

876
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:40,919
Speaker 2: it to learn about women and how they.

877
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 5: With them?

878
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,800
Speaker 2: They always do well. There was one episode where Carrie

879
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 2: goes to have lunch with mister Big and they have

880
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 2: already broken up and he's hurt her deeply, and Miranda,

881
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 2: arguably the most annoying character on the show, says, well,

882
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 2: if he's gonna fucking hurt you again, don't come to

883
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,720
Speaker 2: me and tell me, and they have a huge fight. Well,

884
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 2: Miranda was right. Quit being their unpaid coach and therapist.

885
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 2: Tell them figure your stuff out. You're not gonna drain me.

886
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 2: Feel free to talk about this when I have the energy.

887
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: But the person who needs to do the work is

888
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 2: not the chick dating the weird guy. It's this unpaid

889
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: life coach Rachel. Because she's getting pissed off and drained,

890
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 2: and she doesn't have to do that, but there's something

891
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 2: in her that loves being drained by it. She loves

892
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 2: at her friends the problematic one. She's the little Miranda

893
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 2: fix it gal, and she gets to be the smarter

894
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 2: one who probably gossips about her a lot. I'm guaranteeing

895
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 2: you she talks about it to the other friends. So

896
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,760
Speaker 2: I say, Rachel, stopping a big yenta and just stop

897
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 2: letting your friend drain you. It's your own fault. If

898
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 2: you're being drained, it's your own problem. Am I right? Andrew?

899
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 5: You're right?

900
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 2: Of course I'm right. When have I been wrong? See?

901
00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 2: I imagine you've had friends complete and have been draining.

902
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 2: I imagine you are a big drainer. Oh you're the drainer. Okay, yeah,

903
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 2: So what would you advise?

904
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 3: I was talking about this in my roommates other night,

905
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 3: about like friends who will complain about the same guy

906
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 3: for years and years and years and never cut it off.

907
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 3: They're aware that it's wrong. And I am a person

908
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,399
Speaker 3: who does that right, like on on the non receiving end,

909
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 3: I do that.

910
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, Because you're like obsessed with Harry styles and Finn

911
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: Homo from whatever the fuck? No, stranger, Yeah, we actually

912
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 2: date you won't. What's his name? Finn?

913
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 5: What?

914
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:34,479
Speaker 3: Wow?

915
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 2: I love? No, I don't know that show.

916
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 4: No.

917
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 3: No, I'm saying wow to you, saying you won't do

918
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 3: you know.

919
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 2: Because there's stars.

920
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 4: I'm just I'm a star.

921
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 2: No, we needed to be write down and we're going

922
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 2: to do a show. I'm being realistic and within your budget. No,

923
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 2: it's just like that's not me, but it's a fantasy.

924
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 4: See maybe I'm just crazy.

925
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: I like could see it happening, Like I could see

926
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: us getting along, like like you'd be like, oh, like

927
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 3: you're really pretty and I'd be like, yeah, like.

928
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 2: I do like that confidence. Do you really feel that way?

929
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 5: No?

930
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 3: Oh well I think my personality is beautiful, so I

931
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 3: feel like that could probably really really real them in Yeah.

932
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 2: No, no, I think you're a pretty girl. I'm not

933
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 2: saying do you think you're pretty? Do you honestly in

934
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 2: real life think to yourself? Yeah, it's possible. Yeah, Oh

935
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 2: my god. I love that.

936
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 3: Not about Harry Styles, because like that's obvious why I

937
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 3: already met him and he didn't fall in love with me?

938
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:38,439
Speaker 2: Oh okay that Yeah.

939
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 4: I also was like one hundred pounds heavier.

940
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I because he's famous.

941
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 3: Probably yes, so like, give me another chance and it

942
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 3: would happen, Like I am convinced.

943
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 2: Wow, Oh, to have the confidence of a twenty three

944
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: year old in New York City. Wait, isn't that nice?

945
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 2: I think that's what weight loss does for people, and

946
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 2: why even though we all know ethically and morally that

947
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 2: fat is as good as thin, people when they lose weight,

948
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 2: they get this reinvigorated sense of life. Did you is

949
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 2: this because of the weight loss?

950
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:13,479
Speaker 4: No?

951
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 2: Oh, just such a fucking liar.

952
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,720
Speaker 4: I don't know. Actually that's a good question.

953
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: You do agree because you said before he probably judged.

954
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,240
Speaker 3: You because I hate my picture with him because I

955
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 3: look so foul and just pudgy and big, And I'm like,

956
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 3: all I want to do is post that picture everywhere,

957
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 3: and I don't want that picture of me anyway.

958
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,240
Speaker 2: Can you just photoshop skinny?

959
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 3: I can try, but like, the background was so complicated

960
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,880
Speaker 3: that I think you would see all of this stuff

961
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 3: like stretched in the back. Oh, but sorry to answer

962
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 3: your question, I think that what was the question?

963
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 2: While you're draining people talking about myself? Like would you

964
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 2: be how would it be if your friends go, look,

965
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 2: we love you. We're just not gonna talk about this anymore.

966
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 4: Remember when that happened to me.

967
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 2: That's why I'm asking refreshed people who haven't heard she

968
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 2: had a full on meltdown. But how would the new

969
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 2: Celia act now that you're all fixed? You wouldn't go

970
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: off on them?

971
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 3: No, And I don't think I did go off on them.

972
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 3: I think I went off of myself. But if anything,

973
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 3: I'd just be like, Okay, well, then that person isn't

974
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 3: the right person to talk to.

975
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 4: Right, You find a new one.

976
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 2: Right, and just keep draining when you go down the line,

977
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 2: not no one.

978
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 3: Just go through your your circle of people and be like,

979
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 3: all right, who would understand this and who would like

980
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 3: give me good advice about this instead of this other

981
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 3: person who clearly doesn't care about what you're talking about

982
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 3: or honestly is exhausted from it.

983
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 4: Right, Just find someone else.

984
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 2: So you just exhaust one and then you move on

985
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 2: to the next, exhaust them, and pretty soon it's down

986
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 2: to just complain it on the podcast.

987
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 3: Or you hit your welcome pot and you have a

988
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 3: friend who it doesn't get exhausted by you and will

989
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 3: listen and give you advice on anything, which I'm very grateful.

990
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 2: To have it. Look at the happy ending that we

991
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: have facilitated for Celia. I take full credit for that,

992
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 2: because she's talking about me. I'm the person she drains.

993
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 4: Just kidding, probably one of like thirty two per day.

994
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 2: You're not that bad. Have you really though, done the

995
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 2: endless complaining about a certain man?

996
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 4: It's been like, I'm twenty three. Yeah, it's been like

997
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 4: fourteen years of.

998
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 2: The same freaking guy. Okay, I'm gonna kill myself. We're

999
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,799
Speaker 2: gonna do it. Okay, we'll be back at some point. No,

1000
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 2: we got to hear about this at some point. I

1001
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 2: still obsessed. Have you ever dated him as well?

1002
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 4: I'm I don't want to answer that.

1003
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to dig into that future episode Fixing

1004
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 2: Celia Part seventy two. Anyway, Andrew ginswork, thank you so

1005
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,399
Speaker 2: much for being here today. Did you have fun.

1006
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,839
Speaker 5: It's so much fun. Thank you so much for having me.

1007
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 2: Of course, and thank me for telling you to quit comedy.

1008
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 5: Thank you.

1009
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: You're welcome, because I just want people to know that

1010
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 2: I did the right thing by not keeping my mouth shut.

1011
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 2: And the book, once again children's book is called the

1012
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 2: colors of my sky. It is not racist because there's

1013
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:08,080
Speaker 2: no black butterfly named Malik anymore. You can pre order

1014
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,360
Speaker 2: on Amazon. K three or three will love it and

1015
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 2: just get it because it'll touch your little little soul. Oh,

1016
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 2: I have to do that nick thing that he always does.

1017
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. If you have letters, send them to

1018
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 2: Shrink This Show at gmail dot com and listen on

1019
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 2: the iheartapp or wherever you find your podcast.

1020
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 3: My