Speaker 1: Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, I Call It Crew.
Speaker 3: I was thinking this morning when I looked at the
Speaker 3: time of the year that we were in that when
Speaker 3: I was on Gray's Anatomy, this was around the time
Speaker 3: that I would be going back to work for that
Speaker 3: first episode of season fill in the blank.
Speaker 4: So was that happening. I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 5: It's funny you say this because I woke up this morning,
Speaker 5: scroll through my phone and there it was sitting.
Speaker 4: In my inbox.
Speaker 5: What the premiere episode script of Gray's Anatomy Season twenty one.
Speaker 4: And you know what's so funny? You know this, Jess.
Speaker 5: We never know what's going to happen. We are not
Speaker 5: giving a heads up. And so I was reading the
Speaker 5: script in bed this morning and I was shook ath a.
Speaker 4: People still saying shook Uth. I don't know that's a
Speaker 4: good they are staying shook ath. Have you heard of
Speaker 4: shookth Jess?
Speaker 5: Anyway, that's how I felt. I was shook Goth, I was.
Speaker 5: I was amazed, and yeah, we're going back next week.
Speaker 4: I actually have a tape wle read tomorrow what Yes,
Speaker 4: what if I just showed up with you? I think
Speaker 4: you should. By the way, Jessica is so loved that.
Speaker 5: You could show up and you and they were probably
Speaker 5: give you my seat. They're like, really, get up, get up,
Speaker 5: give her your seat for God's sake. No, we're yes,
Speaker 5: I'm back in scrubs very soon, which is why it
Speaker 5: feels like the end of the summer to me, even
Speaker 5: though it's not the end of the summer. But you
Speaker 5: are right, this is the time of year. This is
Speaker 5: and it kind of feels like the beginning of the
Speaker 5: school year, even though it's the middle of the summer, right,
Speaker 5: it's like the beginning of the season. Yes, yes, And
Speaker 5: in fact, you know this. We when we get to set,
Speaker 5: we actually greet everybody cast and crew and we say
Speaker 5: happy New Year.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we say happy Oh it's so great, so great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then get yourself a week and you'll be
Speaker 3: like whatever everybody exactly.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, God, who's breaking up? Who's dying? I'm
Speaker 4: putting in requests for time off. No, I know, I'm
Speaker 4: excited to go back.
Speaker 5: I love my kids, but I need a little breaky poos.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 5: I have to say this really quick because I'm using
Speaker 5: all this cool lingo that's not cool at all.
Speaker 4: Dear God.
Speaker 5: I did read this thing that cracked me up, and
Speaker 5: it basically said that there was a tweet and it
Speaker 5: was talking about how there are people of and by
Speaker 5: the way, they're our aged, people of our age are
Speaker 5: still using lingo from like way back in the day.
Speaker 5: It's not cool anymore. I want I'm gonna read do
Speaker 5: some lingo, and i want to know if you've said.
Speaker 4: It any of these words. I'm gonna be well if
Speaker 4: you have said it, and if you're still using it,
Speaker 4: because we.
Speaker 5: Are we're losers apparently, Okay, go go did you use
Speaker 5: did you?
Speaker 4: Did you used to say wowsers?
Speaker 2: Never?
Speaker 4: Did you ever say wowser browser? Never?
Speaker 5: I've done it both. I'm guilty of both. I once
Speaker 5: in a while I whip out a wowser browser.
Speaker 3: And what instance of life, Like, give me an example
Speaker 3: of a of a good app.
Speaker 5: You know, if my kids show me something and they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: he just you know, Lucas just just spilled some water
Speaker 5: on the floor, and I'm like, not really like I
Speaker 5: don't care that. I'm like, oh, wowser browser, you could
Speaker 5: use it? For anything, Jess, try it out, give it
Speaker 5: a whirl.
Speaker 4: Methinks not. No, I didn't use that either. Cool beans.
Speaker 4: I feel like you said cool beans, don't lie.
Speaker 3: I had a friend who said it, and I definitely
Speaker 3: can sometimes be influenced, so I'm sure I have, but
Speaker 3: I I don't know that it was.
Speaker 4: I definitely didn't bring it to the part I was
Speaker 4: rolling off the tongue. It was. It was rolling off
Speaker 4: the towne. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: Did you've seem like what like a substitute teacher would say,
Speaker 3: like on their first day of class?
Speaker 5: Well but well, Sally, Sally, I feel like we were
Speaker 5: the substitute teacher generation. Remember going out to a club
Speaker 5: and they make fun of us now that we look
Speaker 5: like we were going for job interviews. We were all
Speaker 5: in pencil skirts and and and button downs.
Speaker 4: Gloves. Were you going to I was definitely nowhere button
Speaker 4: downs and pencil skirts. Did you watch the Hills? No? Lord,
Speaker 4: I really didn't watch much reality.
Speaker 3: No. I wore like the shortest skirts I could possibly find,
Speaker 3: like barely cover the business.
Speaker 4: You do love a short skirt?
Speaker 5: You do? You never wore you never like went out
Speaker 5: to dinner, a swing dinner, even and wore a pencil
Speaker 5: skirt like like what I had so many from Express.
Speaker 4: I would hit up the Express like section pencil skirts.
Speaker 5: Yes, give me a double We sadly we are that generation. Okay,
Speaker 5: you just don't remember it, all right, So the cool beans?
Speaker 4: Moving on?
Speaker 3: What's what's the sauce? No, but the next thing you're
Speaker 3: gonna say is like a maze balls.
Speaker 4: It is amaze balls. It's last one. Okay. Well, she
Speaker 4: used to say that, I remember.
Speaker 3: For some reason, I wonder if she said again in
Speaker 3: my memory, but I'm pretty sure she does.
Speaker 5: We gotta give her a call if she says amazed balls.
Speaker 5: Did you ever were you guilty of an amaze balls?
Speaker 4: Again, it's not resonating. No, oh sorry, you're just perfect,
Speaker 4: jeez with your mini skirts and your cool lingo. I
Speaker 4: was out there.
Speaker 5: I was hit the streets and a pencil skirt saying
Speaker 5: cool beans, Jess at a bar in bar and I
Speaker 5: was feeling myself. Yeah you were move Yeah for sure,
Speaker 5: let's move on. How is your week?
Speaker 4: Oh? My week? So the dead days just fly in
Speaker 4: the summertime. My week's been great. My week's been very chill.
Speaker 3: And then a lot of summertime brings a lot of
Speaker 3: guests and sort of fun things happening in and out,
Speaker 3: and lots of beach time and lots of They all
Speaker 3: stay up late. They were all complaining the other night.
Speaker 3: They're like, it's so unfair. When we were eight years old,
Speaker 3: we had to go to bed at seven thirty pm,
Speaker 3: and Josie's up at ten pm.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the baby of the family.
Speaker 5: Though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I know, and I can't really find
Speaker 3: it again. It goes back to what we were saying.
Speaker 3: It's like, wow, yeah, I guess that's true.
Speaker 4: The goalposts have moved, yes, And also introduction to the
Speaker 4: first chapter of life. It's called It's not fair.
Speaker 3: And if I try to teach you that life is scare,
Speaker 3: I'd be falling asleep on the job. It's just not
Speaker 3: I don't want to prepare you for a myth. I
Speaker 3: want to prepare you for real life. And it's not fair.
Speaker 4: And Josie's going to bed at midnight, and Josie is
Speaker 4: gonna take her little pencil skirt, yeah, and her button
Speaker 4: down to the bar to the night and it is
Speaker 4: what it is, and she doesn't even have a curfew.
Speaker 5: It's also I hear you know. I say this like
Speaker 5: I've been invited to one. I'm like, it's a wedding season.
Speaker 5: The only reason I know this is because of Instagram.
Speaker 5: I haven't been invited to a single wedding. I have
Speaker 5: a pencil skirt wedding either.
Speaker 3: And I'm a great wedding guest in my own mind.
Speaker 3: I'm a fantastic wedding guest. I what makes the dance
Speaker 3: floor the last I'm telling you, the first on the
Speaker 3: dance floor, the last to leave. I'm super polite and
Speaker 3: I'm super excited for everybody. I'm optimistic.
Speaker 4: Well, it's a wedding. What are you gonna do? Arrive
Speaker 4: and be like I smell a divorce?
Speaker 2: Does anyone?
Speaker 4: I'm jacked? I do.
Speaker 3: Back here in the background, I do, I do.
Speaker 4: Doesn't feel right, doesn't feel right to me, doesn't feel right.
Speaker 4: I know too much.
Speaker 3: Well, listen episode of Graze Natomy right there. Yeah, no, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm a good wedding guest. I'm a good wedding guest.
Speaker 4: I don't know if I am.
Speaker 3: I was a great wedding guest at your wedding. That's
Speaker 3: a hello, you've experienced me as a wedding guest.
Speaker 4: No, you're great, and by the way, you're ready to
Speaker 4: party at my wedding.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was.
Speaker 4: You know what, we have a picture of you.
Speaker 5: You actually stole the flowers from one of my bridesmaids
Speaker 5: who I went to high school with, and you took
Speaker 5: pictures with the bouquet, pretending that you were also a bridesmaid.
Speaker 4: I was a bridesmaid. There's a picture to prove it.
Speaker 4: I have a bouquet. It's true. You don't remember me
Speaker 4: being a bridesmaid. I remember. Are you stealing the bouquet? No? No,
Speaker 4: the picture of me with the bouquet is from when
Speaker 4: I was in.
Speaker 5: If you get a bouquet from a bridesmaid, you were
Speaker 5: instantly a bridesmaid.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, I was.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 4: I was the best one. You're always the best one.
Speaker 4: You should have been. I don't even know what I
Speaker 4: was thinking. What was I thinking? Were you already?
Speaker 5: I don't know why you weren't a bridesmaid. Naturally, you
Speaker 5: don't have a pencil shirt ready to go.
Speaker 4: I loved your wedding. Oh I love you.
Speaker 5: You know what's so funny people don't know this. I
Speaker 5: had my wedding at a really pretty resort in Santa Barbara,
Speaker 5: and I loved it. However, it was not my pick
Speaker 5: and choice of where I wanted to have my wedding.
Speaker 5: We had a house that we had rented out ready
Speaker 5: to go for the weekend of the wedding that I
Speaker 5: had been for years looking at. But that was such
Speaker 5: a beautiful house in malibill and in March. Our original
Speaker 5: date was July. In March, the also burnt down, I
Speaker 5: shouldn't laugh, burnt down in the fires in Malibu, and
Speaker 5: I remember thinking this is not a good omen and
Speaker 5: we had to do a very quick change to Santa Barbara.
Speaker 4: But it did end up amazing. But my Midge original
Speaker 4: location burnt down good times, Yeah, that's that's not fun.
Speaker 4: I remember.
Speaker 3: We actually got brought up the other day because we
Speaker 3: kind of convene here every summer with my family and
Speaker 3: now I don't leave. I kind of park it here,
Speaker 3: set up the kids camps, and we just don't go anywhere,
Speaker 3: and takes a lot. As a matter of fact, I
Speaker 3: just don't I don't go unless I have to go anywhere.
Speaker 4: And we had to leave. Maybe what was your wedding date?
Speaker 4: August seventeenth. I had to think about it in the
Speaker 4: middle of August, we had to leave and everyone's like,
Speaker 4: where are you going? And I was like, I'm going
Speaker 4: to a wedding.
Speaker 3: And They're like, who could possibly get be getting married
Speaker 3: that you would actually leave here for.
Speaker 4: And I was like, before I could even say that,
Speaker 4: Camella Camilla is getting married. Yes, she's getting married. Did
Speaker 4: you have a wedding with like four thousand people?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Really, I would have thought that you were a four thousander. Nope,
Speaker 4: not a four thousander. No, I think it was. It was.
Speaker 4: I think it's between one twenty and one thirty. I
Speaker 4: mean it wasn't. So oh no, that's not Why wasn't
Speaker 4: it Oh interesting? No? No, no, no, yeah, Jessica just
Speaker 4: happening to know everybody.
Speaker 5: If I'm like hey, I always say Bob, but if
Speaker 5: I'm like Bob on the corner, because she's like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I know, Bob, I just as everyone. So I'm surprised
Speaker 5: it's not it was not a city of a wedding.
Speaker 4: I like that number. That's a good number. Yeah, its
Speaker 4: a good number, very intimate.
Speaker 5: And this is kind of leading us into our our
Speaker 5: call it subject today.
Speaker 3: Well, because before a wedding typically not all the time
Speaker 3: but before a wedding.
Speaker 4: Typically there are.
Speaker 3: Ways in which we have culturally uh celebrated the before
Speaker 3: the wedding, called a bachelor or bachelorette party.
Speaker 4: And in England it's called a hen do can do?
Speaker 4: What's the stag do party? The stag do is the boys.
Speaker 5: Okay, I do love a good bachelorette you know when
Speaker 5: I say that, But that I you know, I don't
Speaker 5: know if I'm I don't know if I'd be into
Speaker 5: it now, I might be a little too tired.
Speaker 3: What would definitely probably be past our bedtimes now one percent.
Speaker 5: If it was like a bachelorette binge watch and it
Speaker 5: was like come over, we'll drink wine and watch you know, Bravo,
Speaker 5: I'd be like, oh my god, best idea ever. That's
Speaker 5: not what is happening. I would that is not what's happening.
Speaker 5: They're out of control. Jessica Capshaw, I've only heard.
Speaker 3: I mean I went to a couple of you know,
Speaker 3: but yeah, for the very select few, the small circle
Speaker 3: of very close people.
Speaker 4: Did I go to a bachelt party?
Speaker 5: I will tell you what's happening right now, because it's
Speaker 5: all over social media. There's a trend which I think
Speaker 5: is kind of strange. I'm gonna be honest, where every
Speaker 5: day and sometimes multiple times through the day there's a theme.
Speaker 5: So what I'm seeing is is like, we're gonna go
Speaker 5: to the beach and we're all gonna wear you know,
Speaker 5: a wrap that has a palm treon, but the bride
Speaker 5: is gonna have sequence. And then there's like we're gonna
Speaker 5: do a tuloom themed night, We're gonna do a pink night,
Speaker 5: We're gonna do a Barbie dinner, and then after that
Speaker 5: it deserts.
Speaker 4: You know, everyone looks like Elmo whatever the's going on.
Speaker 4: The point is is it's it's it's out.
Speaker 5: Of control, and it feels like to me that it's
Speaker 5: for social media as opposed to bonding. It's for the
Speaker 5: aesthetic of it, which is kind of losing what the
Speaker 5: magic of a bachelorette party is all about.
Speaker 3: By the way, a great bachelorette party or a great
Speaker 3: bachelor party should have absolutely no evidences.
Speaker 4: There should be no pictures of that that party. Yeah,
Speaker 4: if it was done well, yeah, this is the performative
Speaker 4: for social media party.
Speaker 5: Yes, And it's like you get on the private jet
Speaker 5: with them and that no private jet people are doing
Speaker 5: the private jet Yeah they are, they're on the steps.
Speaker 4: I don't understand that. Oh it's a line. So this
Speaker 4: is not everybody.
Speaker 3: This is like a very very small group of people
Speaker 3: that have this kind of money to toss around.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean the private jet party, yes, the other part.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 5: I think it's becoming more and more common that it's
Speaker 5: like it's a b bunch of shenanigans for social media
Speaker 5: and it's all about the gram.
Speaker 3: That sounds wid okay, So I have a question if
Speaker 3: you were going to plan a bachelorette party.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now, uh huh, what would it be? What are
Speaker 4: we doing? What are we doing? Where are we going?
Speaker 4: What are we doing? Is that the Brava Bench party?
Speaker 4: I do love a Brava Bench party.
Speaker 5: I would not be so selfish as to plan that
Speaker 5: for somebody else. So I envision going to some sort
Speaker 5: of place that's a little RESORTI and very calm, and
Speaker 5: it's all about wellness. So it's like you take the
Speaker 5: mud bath and then you relax in the hot spring.
Speaker 4: And because I want to come out of it.
Speaker 5: At the last time I went to last time I
Speaker 5: went to a bachelorette party, I was so hung over
Speaker 5: by the end of it, and I was like, just
Speaker 5: I hated my life. I think that you should come
Speaker 5: out of the bachelorette party. Well now I feel this
Speaker 5: way glowing, feeling better, rejuvenated, rested.
Speaker 4: What about you a bachelor party?
Speaker 3: Okay, I well, because there's other considerations that come in.
Speaker 3: So I feel that what I remember doing are like
Speaker 3: it depends on how big your bridal party is, because
Speaker 3: it's typically for your bridal party, and then you're you're good,
Speaker 3: you're closest.
Speaker 5: Well, that's the other problem. I'm seeing bridal parties of
Speaker 5: like thirty people. Oh, people are like I don't even
Speaker 5: have that. I don't even know that many people. I
Speaker 5: genuinely don't have that many close friends. Oh okay, okay,
Speaker 5: doing like a fifteen you know, it's like it's a
Speaker 5: whole thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, anyways, your bridal party and your bestest friends.
Speaker 3: Then I would I would think that you also have
Speaker 3: to consider what stage of your life you're in, and
Speaker 3: I think there's like budget concerns, right, Like, not everybody's
Speaker 3: at the same place, and a party ideally makes everyone
Speaker 3: feel good and feels like a celebration, which I'm guessing
Speaker 3: if you can't afford something as probably going to make
Speaker 3: you feel so great.
Speaker 4: So these days, does the does the bride.
Speaker 3: Take care of a bachelor party or does that like, okay,
Speaker 3: get true for the bride?
Speaker 4: How do we do this? Traditionally?
Speaker 5: I am reading that the bride does not and it's
Speaker 5: taken on by the bridesmaids, which is a problem because
Speaker 5: there's more and more destination y type bachelorette party is
Speaker 5: going on again. In my opinion, it might not be
Speaker 5: everyone listening. In my opinion, it's for the esthetic and
Speaker 5: it's costing people a ton of money. And then there's
Speaker 5: that awkward conversation of how do you if you can't
Speaker 5: afford that? Who do you tell? Are you then not
Speaker 5: a bridesmaid if you can't go? We have some crazy
Speaker 5: statistic right now, I'm going to read you from the
Speaker 5: not dot com. The not study from twenty twenty three
Speaker 5: found that the average cost of a bachelorette party is
Speaker 5: thirteen hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: Wow, that's on top of buying your dress. And that's
Speaker 4: just the bachelorette party.
Speaker 5: That's not even you know, the dress part of it,
Speaker 5: which is a six hundred dollars increase since twenty nineteen.
Speaker 4: That's not even that long ago.
Speaker 5: And it's important to note that the majority of bachelorette
Speaker 5: goers spend less than one thousand on attending, but one
Speaker 5: in ten spent over.
Speaker 4: Three thousand dollars. WHOA what that's insane. It's not even
Speaker 4: your own wedding.
Speaker 5: Noah, oh man, just stop it, everybody. Could.
Speaker 4: I be honest, I'm gonna say something so mean.
Speaker 5: No one gives us that much that you're getting married,
Speaker 5: not a three thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: I think that also reminds me of when people are
Speaker 3: pregnant for the first time, which God bless all of
Speaker 3: us that have been pregnant, there's always the first time
Speaker 3: where you're convinced to the only person to ever have
Speaker 3: been pregnant. Yeah, and you're like, oh, and you're reading
Speaker 3: about all of it, and you're like, I'm on the
Speaker 3: forefront of knowing all things about pregnanty. Yeah, No, I
Speaker 3: know you care a lot more about your wedding than
Speaker 3: anyone else does. For sure, Like for sure, that's a
Speaker 3: foregone conclusion.
Speaker 4: It's just a fact.
Speaker 3: Okay, but let's go back to this for a second,
Speaker 3: because if I were having a bachelorette party. Now, I
Speaker 3: think that I'm with you on the I would want
Speaker 3: to feel better after it than before, where like I
Speaker 3: would want there to be like a progressive sense of
Speaker 3: just you know.
Speaker 4: Coziness or connection.
Speaker 3: Or excitement, or there'd have to be like an additive
Speaker 3: and like nutritive value to the celebration. So yeah, I
Speaker 3: think that I would want it to be a beautiful
Speaker 3: dinner party. Which, by the way, I'm not against the aesthetic.
Speaker 3: I mean, I really like a tablescape. You might not
Speaker 3: know this about me. I love like decorating for a party.
Speaker 3: I love little buzzing.
Speaker 4: I don't know that about you. No, I know you
Speaker 4: this joke, but I love that. So I would love that.
Speaker 3: And then I would say, like, you know, kick everybody
Speaker 3: out of the house for that night, right, so you
Speaker 3: could stay up late. And I mean I'm all for
Speaker 3: an impromptu dance party, a sleepover, all of that, or
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, you go away and go to something
Speaker 3: if you can afford a great hotel or you know,
Speaker 3: that was driving driving.
Speaker 4: I'm not flying to a bachelor aut party. That seems
Speaker 4: like too much.
Speaker 5: I think that if you ask people to fly, you
Speaker 5: have to as a bride offer to pay for that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it seems like I think, I mean not double wedding.
Speaker 5: It's just But what's interesting about what you're saying right
Speaker 5: now is you're talking about an evening that sounds amazing
Speaker 5: and so much fun. By the way, I'm down for
Speaker 5: this evening. However, social media tells me these things last
Speaker 5: more than an evening. There are three or four days.
Speaker 3: Yes, I think that I'm just having Yeah, I had
Speaker 3: this a very very my Bachelorett parties, Like I absolutely
Speaker 3: remember being in the back of a New York City
Speaker 3: cab wearing like a penis headband that had like two
Speaker 3: penises coming out of my Yeah.
Speaker 4: Double pine, yeah, double pain hell. Yeah, you're doing a
Speaker 4: double paine.
Speaker 5: At the back of a cable banger Yeah, double bangers.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And when you shook your head, they moved because
Speaker 4: they got it. They got a jiggle. Fameless steel coils.
Speaker 5: You're getting free shots. You're wearing a penis necklace.
Speaker 4: And I didn't say that.
Speaker 5: I was Again, I might like a mud bath, but
Speaker 5: I want to be wearing a double pean on the
Speaker 5: head while I'm in the bath.
Speaker 4: I'm not against that at all. I'm all for it.
Speaker 4: I'm all fucking for that. Oh god.
Speaker 3: By the way, I definitely know for this particular bachelor
Speaker 3: party that we actually made a very strong rule which
Speaker 3: was that you could not take pictures on a phone.
Speaker 3: So we gave everybody the Insta cameras that you got
Speaker 3: the photos developed, you.
Speaker 4: Know, yeah, back in the day where you take them
Speaker 4: to a place and you got them developed.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And by the way, when we got those photos.
Speaker 5: Who yeah, it's like the hangover trying to night.
Speaker 4: Do you think that when you think about your character
Speaker 4: on the show. Oh, Joe Wilson, I don't remember. I
Speaker 4: see you again? Remember memory? Did you have a bachelotte party?
Speaker 4: Joe doesn't how any friends?
Speaker 5: Right, You're just like I say that, and I'm waiting
Speaker 5: for you to be like, no, Joe Wilson does have friends,
Speaker 5: and you're like, Arizona Robins, are you kidding me? She'd
Speaker 5: have the whole would you be a four day bachelorette party?
Speaker 4: She might be? Oh god, she totally is. I think
Speaker 4: she might be. I think she would have been. Does
Speaker 4: she have on the show? No? No, I remember bachelorette
Speaker 4: parties on the show. No, but it's not too late.
Speaker 3: That's fun And could you do a Could you do
Speaker 3: a double pen headband on ABC dot?
Speaker 4: Abc? Can you do it on a network? Can you
Speaker 4: do double penis? Situation? The time slot moved to ten pm,
Speaker 4: and that screams double.
Speaker 2: Pain, double pain ten He m, yeah, yeah, okay, all right,
Speaker 2: Well maybe you need to get married and have a
Speaker 2: bachelor and Arizona will throw your bachelorette party.
Speaker 5: Okay, it's done, it's been pitched, it's been pitched.
Speaker 4: I love it. I do have because why not?
Speaker 5: There is apparently unspoken rules for attending a bachelorette party.
Speaker 5: I knew, I knew for a wedding, but I'm not
Speaker 5: so sure I know what the bachelorette party rules are.
Speaker 4: Okay, apparently are you ready for this? Jess? Don't wear white?
Speaker 4: Why I know? Is it like it is? It is
Speaker 4: what it is?
Speaker 3: Okay, fine, don't wear white, don't get drunker than the
Speaker 3: bride to be. It's her night and you are her babysitter.
Speaker 3: She's allowed to get trashed, but you need to stay
Speaker 3: sober enough to prevent accidents and disasters.
Speaker 5: I my opinion, my opinion on this one is that
Speaker 5: to keep everybody safe, maybe don't get super trashed on
Speaker 5: the bachelorette party night. First off, you're gonna wake up
Speaker 5: with a hangover. And if you're on one of your
Speaker 5: four day bachelorette day vacations, you've got other days to
Speaker 5: be you got yeah, pace, let's pay Now we've we
Speaker 5: learned from the movies.
Speaker 4: The hangover like getting trashed. I just I don't know.
Speaker 4: It doesn't it just doesn't ever end well. I don't
Speaker 4: think it ends up nobody's getting trashed. Maybe nobody gets trased.
Speaker 4: Maybe you help everyone pace themselves and you're in charge.
Speaker 5: You're you're a water girl or boy Yeah some water anyway,
Speaker 5: don't gossip about the events of the night with anyone
Speaker 5: other than the people who were there, duh.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: Don't try to bring your boyfriend or a girlfriend or
Speaker 3: suggest they meet up with you later.
Speaker 4: That's the no brainer. A little bit.
Speaker 5: No, I don't feel like for some people it is
Speaker 5: they're trying to sneak the partner in.
Speaker 3: No, it's like guests of guests may not bring guests
Speaker 3: of course.
Speaker 4: Not no, no, no, no, no, okay.
Speaker 5: And then finally, don't let the bride to be pay
Speaker 5: for anything.
Speaker 4: I don't know about these rules. Let's go on to
Speaker 4: the next one, okay, I'm not I have thoughts gone well.
Speaker 3: This one starts with okay, so the groom and bride
Speaker 3: most of the time never pay for their own bachelor
Speaker 3: or bachelorette party, unless, of course, it's a party that
Speaker 3: requires airfare and or leaving a state, or something that's
Speaker 3: super extravagant or over the top meaning a thousand dollars
Speaker 3: plus per person, or if there's a conversation beforehand on
Speaker 3: how to go about it or clarify monetary expectations as
Speaker 3: a group.
Speaker 4: I agree with that sounds reasonable. Yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 4: don't think.
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that if you you, I think as
Speaker 5: a bride, part of your job is to not be
Speaker 5: a moron too and just to take in everybody's financial
Speaker 5: situation so that if you are, you know, not going
Speaker 5: to be paying for your bachelorette party, you're just cognizant
Speaker 5: of everyone that you're inviting and then hopefully it all
Speaker 5: kind of works out.
Speaker 4: Okay. The best man or made of honor is usually
Speaker 4: tasked with planning it. I think you do need a leader.
Speaker 4: You could have a leader, but I think you can delegate.
Speaker 5: Right. People have their own lives and you know it
Speaker 5: can be a lot. These things can apparently be a
Speaker 5: lot private planes.
Speaker 3: Best Man Made of Honor then talks to the group,
Speaker 3: either via text or in person, and usually telling the
Speaker 3: other members, Hey, this is what I'm thinking, YadA, YadA, YadA,
Speaker 3: and then they usually ask, so is everyone cool with
Speaker 3: taking care of the groom brier and this trip and
Speaker 3: or are there any concerns about price or anything of
Speaker 3: that nature.
Speaker 4: I think you don't group text.
Speaker 5: I think I think you text separately because with the
Speaker 5: group text, I'm going to tell you, I think once
Speaker 5: you decide on thing everyone individually, then you do the
Speaker 5: group text. I think that people might feel uncomfortable being like, hey,
Speaker 5: I don't have the money to do the vegas to
Speaker 5: do the thing yep. And you don't want to be
Speaker 5: in a group text talking about price Nope, nope, no,
Speaker 5: okay if there isn't Usually the grooms men bridesmaids take
Speaker 5: care of the groom bride after all, that's kind of
Speaker 5: what the.
Speaker 4: Party is for.
Speaker 5: I think that, like on the wedding day, they're there
Speaker 5: to help, you know, fix if you're stress, like, oh
Speaker 5: my god, my veil is you know, like need steaming.
Speaker 5: Like I think that they're there for that stuff, and
Speaker 5: I think that, sure, the bachelorette, what are we talking
Speaker 5: about the bachelotte party, you're what do you do?
Speaker 4: Like, what are you taking care of exactly for them?
Speaker 3: Like for mine, I remember there was like hotel, there's
Speaker 3: hotels and then there was you know, there was dinner
Speaker 3: reservations and there was because.
Speaker 4: It was like a two night thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so they're taking care of that stuff. They're not
Speaker 5: you know, applying your mscara. There are levels to taking
Speaker 5: care of things.
Speaker 3: If there's any kind of problem money wise or anything else,
Speaker 3: typically that's when a best man or made of honor
Speaker 3: will reach out to involve the brighter groom and tell
Speaker 3: them the situation in either a athem if they're okay
Speaker 3: with chipping in equally or in part for their party,
Speaker 3: or b ask them if they want to make any
Speaker 3: changes to accommodate whatever the issue is.
Speaker 4: Sounds reasonable, Yeah, sounds reasonable.
Speaker 5: I think you've got to be really careful, as made
Speaker 5: of honor, if you are having a conversation on behalf
Speaker 5: of somebody else with the bride, that you're not like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, Barbara can't pay for all the penistras
Speaker 5: e'mara saying yeah, you know, like you got you gotta
Speaker 5: be sensitive because for some people it might be a
Speaker 5: sensitive situation.
Speaker 4: So as a lot, just be cool. Basically, just be
Speaker 4: cool you guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do, and yeah, and all the normal rules
Speaker 3: come into play for this. They will be your best friends, right.
Speaker 3: Don't take things personally. Yeah, it's not all about you
Speaker 3: and this is a celebration, So don't forget your personal
Speaker 3: rules and be your number one fan, advocate for yourself.
Speaker 4: Don't take things personally and carry on. Also, remember it's
Speaker 4: a fucking party.
Speaker 3: Like ye, I can't tell you some of this has
Speaker 3: been a little bit downer, like don't shit on my party.
Speaker 5: I know. To be honest, I think that the essence
Speaker 5: that we're missing a little bit with all the rules
Speaker 5: and the themes and then all the things is that
Speaker 5: like this is about you getting married, making this awesome commitment,
Speaker 5: and your favorite people are with you and you get
Speaker 5: to celebrate with them, and that.
Speaker 4: Is that's I feel like that's what that's what we're
Speaker 4: trying to get it.
Speaker 5: I feel like we're losing the sense of the fun,
Speaker 5: the fun.
Speaker 3: Where's the fucking fun, people? This is time to have fun.
Speaker 3: You're celebrating, you're excited, and you know what, let it
Speaker 3: just be a little duck. Let that water roll right
Speaker 3: off your body. Yeah, be like a little cartoon duck.
Speaker 3: Wiggle your little tush, get that water right off the back.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's get into this. We call it crew questions.
Speaker 3: Great, so Julian wrote in and she said, I am
Speaker 3: a part of a wedding party, and the bachelorette party
Speaker 3: is for four days. Understand that it's definitely not about
Speaker 3: me and my likes. But ah, am I an asshole
Speaker 3: for being upset that I'm spending hundreds, if not thousands
Speaker 3: of dollars and paid time off on a trip in
Speaker 3: a place that's not really my vibe and doing no
Speaker 3: activities that I'm really feeling. I'm sober, and drinking and
Speaker 3: bar hopping is one of the main activities hat making.
Speaker 3: I don't wear hats. I promise I'm not boring nor
Speaker 3: pooping on anyone who likes to do these things. They
Speaker 3: just aren't me. Am I a jerk?
Speaker 5: I actually feel a little bit angry about this.
Speaker 4: This is striking my rage.
Speaker 5: I do think that you're if you're sober and someone's like, hey,
Speaker 5: we're going to be.
Speaker 4: Bar how I feel like there needs to be a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 5: Of consideration here is ridiculous, it's absurd, and thousands of
Speaker 5: dollars paid time off.
Speaker 4: This is a little much. So not only are you
Speaker 4: not a jerk? And Camilla's and she actually thinks that
Speaker 4: you're you're a truth teller, your sage wise, wise wise woman.
Speaker 3: Jillian. Yeah, I think that this is hard. This one's
Speaker 3: a hard one. And I also think, oh, here's the question.
Speaker 4: You're going to be nice for you. No, I'm not.
Speaker 4: I'm just going to say, can you ask for can
Speaker 4: you ask for a pass?
Speaker 3: I think not going to someone's wedding is a really
Speaker 3: big deal. I've had to go to weddings that were
Speaker 3: very hard for me to go to, and I did
Speaker 3: so because people feel some kind of way about people
Speaker 3: who don't go to their weddings.
Speaker 4: I think that you can.
Speaker 5: I think you go to the wedding and I think
Speaker 5: you say, hey, I can't make the full four days.
Speaker 5: I can come in for I can fly in whatever
Speaker 5: it is. I can come over for the for a
Speaker 5: day and you pick the day. Maybe you pick the
Speaker 5: hat making. I don't know what kind of hats are
Speaker 5: you making you pick whatever day you vibe with the most,
Speaker 5: and you go in for that day. You make yourself seen,
Speaker 5: you wave a little pain of straw, you do the
Speaker 5: whoops whoops, and then you get out of there.
Speaker 4: You do it in and out.
Speaker 3: I think we land on compromise for this one a
Speaker 3: little bit, right, because it's very important, especially if you've
Speaker 3: been invited someone wants you to be a part of
Speaker 3: their celebration. And I think that you can absolutely go
Speaker 3: at the same time that you, you know, hold your line.
Speaker 3: And I also think it's a it's listen, sobriety is
Speaker 3: a big deal and you have to honor that, and however,
Speaker 3: you stay in sobriety. So my guess is that it's
Speaker 3: not actually a very good idea for someone who is
Speaker 3: sober to be bar hopping.
Speaker 4: And that's about you.
Speaker 3: So I think it's a little bit of you know,
Speaker 3: just looking at the itinerary and seeing what it is
Speaker 3: that you can participate in and feel really excited and
Speaker 3: show up with a full heart and excitement for and
Speaker 3: the parts that are going to compromise you on some level,
Speaker 3: or you know, really just not be your jam, which
Speaker 3: hat making is not so no, I don't think you're
Speaker 3: a jerk. Be easy on yourself and find find your
Speaker 3: path while also being able to show up for this friend.
Speaker 4: Agreed.
Speaker 5: Okay, Nadia, she said, I just organized my best friend's bachelorette.
Speaker 5: It took place nearly two months ago, and I am
Speaker 5: still recovering from mean girl feelings.
Speaker 4: It was rough. The bachelorette party didn't know each other.
Speaker 5: Well beforehand, and one girl in particular seemed jealous and
Speaker 5: struggled with the fact that she wasn't in charge. God,
Speaker 5: she questioned every decision we made for six months and
Speaker 5: added just a thought to seem like a team player.
Speaker 4: The wedding was last weekend. The dynamic was the same.
Speaker 5: It's so awkward because she's not my friend, so I'm
Speaker 5: not close enough to say something, and I don't want
Speaker 5: to upset my besties friend.
Speaker 4: Why do we do this? Female relationships can be so tricky.
Speaker 4: Is it just me? Or do men never have these issues?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 3: So for me on this one, my first instinct is
Speaker 3: you made it through it, and from the sounds of
Speaker 3: this email in the past, leave it there.
Speaker 4: You got through it, it's done. I would let it go. Yeah,
Speaker 4: because if she's not your friend.
Speaker 5: Then you've seen her at the wedding, and now it's
Speaker 5: just bygones, we're going to buy one this one.
Speaker 4: This is hard though, eat no what I did to learn.
Speaker 5: This brings up something that does happen and I think
Speaker 5: is very difficult. And people get a little jealous and
Speaker 5: see their relationship status with the bride.
Speaker 4: As am I made of honor? Maid of honor? Does
Speaker 4: that mean you're more important? And so all of this.
Speaker 5: Stuff starts to creep in. I'm I love the idea
Speaker 5: of not having a maid of honor, even though I'm
Speaker 5: just kind of putting people in charge of different stuff,
Speaker 5: like you can be in charge of this, you're in
Speaker 5: charge of this, but maybe not having a maid of
Speaker 5: honors like the way to go.
Speaker 4: I don't know, Oh, you're thinking that's a I was.
Speaker 3: The The status piece was evidently resonating with me, given
Speaker 3: the earlier story of me stealing a bouquet and posing
Speaker 3: with it. So I know, I'm sorry about that, and
Speaker 3: it was really important to me that I made a toast,
Speaker 3: so uh yeah, no.
Speaker 4: You made it actually a beautiful toast, Nadia, I say,
Speaker 4: leave it in the past.
Speaker 3: And I think that men do have these kinds of issues.
Speaker 3: They just are different about it manifest and it's not
Speaker 3: all or nothing. It's never always or never, but you
Speaker 3: don't hear it as much. It's a tricky, tricky thing.
Speaker 5: I think men peacock. I just think it manifests in
Speaker 5: a different way.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I also think that weddings are you know.
Speaker 3: I feel this way about my birthday because I love,
Speaker 3: I actually do love a party and I wish there
Speaker 3: were more places to go and again dance spontaneously. And
Speaker 3: I sort of missed that part of I missed the
Speaker 3: part of my life where there was like something after dinner.
Speaker 2: Oka.
Speaker 3: It feels like it's just dinner these days, like you
Speaker 3: just if you go out, you have dinner.
Speaker 5: Do you really miss it though, because I'm so tired
Speaker 5: by the end of dinner.
Speaker 4: No, I do, I mean, I do. I really like
Speaker 4: first Yeah, I do you ask anyone?
Speaker 3: No. I like a party. I like to get it going,
Speaker 3: and I do like wanting to be in bed at nine.
Speaker 3: If you get me past nine, if you just keep
Speaker 3: on pushing me, I get there and then I go hard.
Speaker 3: And I love a party, and I missed.
Speaker 4: That piece of life that what happens.
Speaker 3: After dinner another story for another time, But after a
Speaker 3: dinner party, I really did like a major rally cry
Speaker 3: for three of the friends I was with, and I
Speaker 3: was like, we are not fucking going home. We are
Speaker 3: not going home. We are going out. And we went
Speaker 3: out and it felt a lot like.
Speaker 5: This is forty Yeah, like you're the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park,
Speaker 5: Like like like you're you're the t Rex in the club.
Speaker 4: It's just your.
Speaker 3: Your fucking in my short little arms with my tindy
Speaker 3: little arms.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Like kind of cocktails do you have here? Awesome sauce?
Speaker 4: Excuse me in that red amelow cup? Can you please
Speaker 4: pour me some chopin vodka and soda with Jean Real
Speaker 4: lime juice, cool cool beans balls. Thanks. Yeah. Anyways, I
Speaker 4: like a party.
Speaker 3: And I think that for the point that I was
Speaker 3: getting to with my birthday is that weddings are hard
Speaker 3: because any celebration you're asked to call together all the
Speaker 3: people in your life, and not all the people in
Speaker 3: your life know each other very well or get it along.
Speaker 3: And I actually almost find it stressful to have all
Speaker 3: of my friends together because I have friends from I
Speaker 3: don't have one girl, yes or one pack of friends.
Speaker 3: I have friends from everywhere, and while I can tell
Speaker 3: you that the common thread is kindness and fun, it's
Speaker 3: not that I don't know that they'd all get along.
Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, sometimes they haven't, and that's
Speaker 3: a bummer because I don't want to manage it on
Speaker 3: a day that I'm trying to celebrate. So yeah, true,
Speaker 3: even the past. Well, I mean I feel like that
Speaker 3: is That is how I feel about bachelorette parties and
Speaker 3: weddings in general, is that I think it knowledge is power.
Speaker 3: I think you check in with your bridal party and
Speaker 3: see where everyone's at. I think that's kind I think
Speaker 3: that kind of falls on the person who brings all together.
Speaker 3: I think that the bride should be the one that
Speaker 3: she knows the personalities the best, and I think she
Speaker 3: figures out what's going to be, you.
Speaker 4: Know, the best for the group. And then I think
Speaker 4: when you're the guest, I think you just need to
Speaker 4: be along for the ride.
Speaker 3: Again, it's also not about you, you know, Like I mean,
Speaker 3: it's not about you.
Speaker 5: You rally, but you rally in a way that like
Speaker 5: is not gonna break the bank. Yeah, you know, you
Speaker 5: rally away most comfortable. Yes, exactly right, All right. I
Speaker 5: love this Lord bachelor party. See.
Speaker 4: By the way, I actually sort.
Speaker 3: Of feel like maybe this has inspired me to have
Speaker 3: about it. I think you might need to figure out
Speaker 3: how to have a party. You and I party two.
Speaker 4: That's the part. Let's do it.
Speaker 5: Let's do a retreat, honestly, okay, work if we do.
Speaker 5: If we do a retreat, we will make it a
Speaker 5: work retreat quote unquote, and bring you guys with.
Speaker 4: Us tequila shots on the pods.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, we wear the penis saus tell us if
Speaker 5: you would like to.
Speaker 4: See this happen and maybe we make it up.
Speaker 3: Yes, I call it what it is, retreat. Call it
Speaker 3: what it is, a retreat, a retreat. Okay, well, this
Speaker 3: this has been amazing and I'm so excited to hear
Speaker 3: more about how the first episode goes this season and
Speaker 3: move deeper into this beautiful summer.
Speaker 4: And I just love being with you, so I'll see
Speaker 4: you soon. Okay, let's call it the end of the episode.