WEBVTT - Is Your Picker Off? 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:07.160 --> 0:00:09.879 Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:14.440 Texas today. And no matter what I'm doing, you guys 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.880 know I love love and I never get tired of 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:20.840 talking love and relationships. You think I would be after 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:24.000 all these years, but I always find it fascinating. And 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:28.240 today's guest I actually met her Gosh probably a decade 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:32.720 ago when she was involved with a reality show. I 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:35.320 hate to say a bachelor knockoff show because that makes 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.400 it seem like it was tawdry and I was nothing bad. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:40.479 But she was hosting another show and a part of 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:42.959 another show while the Batcheler was on, and we ended 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.120 up meeting at some event where we talked about our 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:50.279 two shows. Well. She is one of the most famous 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.640 matchmakers in the world. Amber Keller Hurt Andrews, who is 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.080 a part of Keller Her International, the number one matchmaking 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:01.880 company in the world. Old her mom started this, Jill 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:05.240 Gosh back in nineteen eighty six, and then Amber as 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:06.880 she grew up, got to be a part of this 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:10.080 as well, and now it's her full time gig and 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:13.920 is phenomenally successful. And after that many years of being 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:17.120 a top matchmaker, just has great insight how much has 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:24.080 changed in dating, celebrity dating, and all the things that 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.840 we read and all the headlines. What's true, what's fact, 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:29.440 what's fiction, So so many topics I wanted to cover 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:32.119 with Amber today. So very happy to have her on 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:35.640 the show. Welcome Amber to the most dramatic podcast ever, 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:38.319 and Amber joins me, Now, it's good to see you again. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:39.160 It's been a while. 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:43.560 It's been a long time. I think it's been ten years, 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:44.720 maybe twelve. 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:46.840 I love it by the way you remembered almost exactly 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.920 where we were, and I think you're right. We ran 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:52.120 into each other and we were kind of discussing because 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:53.480 back then you were kind of in the world of 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:55.920 reality TV love, and of course I was knee deep 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:57.880 in the world of reality TV love, and we were 0:01:58.120 --> 0:01:59.880 kind of exchanging war stories. 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:05.360 Yes, yes, and we shared a showrunner, so we were 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:08.679 talking about that. And I think the Bachelor was a 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.080 little nervous about Ready for Love, and I think Ready 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:14.400 for Love was a little anxious about what was what 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.280 was going to happen, and you and I were like 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.600 kind of in the center of all that. So we 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:20.680 had that in common and we kind of bind it over. 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:21.840 You know. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.480 It's funny. I always thought about that, you know, because yeah, 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:29.040 the Bachelor was always the most ripped off and copied franchise, 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:31.600 but rightfully, so if something's doing well, it's kind of 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:33.519 like when American Idol did well, it's like, great, let's 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.680 create a bunch of singing shows. My my thinking was 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:40.760 always this. You know, obviously the you know, imitations to 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:43.200 see in cerrus form of flattery, but I also believe 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:46.959 that there's room for great shows. If the Bachelor is 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.040 doing great and you're doing your job, no matter what 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:50.359 it is. By the way, it's kind of like your 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:54.359 job now, matchmaking. There's room for other matchmakers, but that's 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:55.920 not going to hurt you because you're good at what 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:58.240 you do. And I always felt the same way about 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:00.799 The Bachelor. It's like Ready for Love and all these 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:02.679 other shows weren't going to make a dent on The 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:06.640 Bachelor because we were good at it. And eventually, though, 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:10.639 I look now at that marketplace, it's wide open. It's 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:13.600 right for the taking because the Bachelor has fallen by 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.920 the wayside. So now you see love is blind, you 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:18.520 see f boy Island, you see love you know all 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:19.200 these other shows. 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:20.519 I'm married at first site. 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:23.560 Yeah, they're finding their market share, they really are. 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:25.799 It's kind of like restaurant row. You have a restaurant 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:27.400 and then another one comes in and you're like, ooh, 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:29.560 it's competition. But if you get three or four or five, 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:31.960 now everybody wants to go to a restaurant row, and 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:35.320 you end up benefiting from all of it. And no, 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:38.480 I mean honestly, Chris, being that I was in the 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:41.240 entertainment business and I don't know. I think I shared 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:42.960 this story with you, but I don't know if you 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.240 would have even remembered. But when you got cast for 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:49.160 The Bachelor, they knew already they wanted to do a 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.880 franchise for the Bachelorette, and I was called in to 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:54.840 be the host of the Bachelorette because I was at 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.680 the time friends with the studio. I was an actress, 0:03:57.720 --> 0:03:59.640 but I was also doing match making and they thought 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.040 that that would be really interesting. But what ended up 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.000 happening is your show was so successful, and it really 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.880 was surprising that a dating show would be so successful 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.800 that they immediately said, we're not going to touch this. 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.800 We're going to just move it over to the Bachelorette. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:16.480 We're going to keep the same house, We're going to 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:19.000 keep everything the same because to your point, they just 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.159 wanted a cookie cut cookie cut, just go, go go. 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:25.800 And so I went from possibly hosting the Bachelorette to 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.479 not even a chance because they weren't going to touch it. 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:31.640 And they were right to do that, because you ended 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:35.599 up keeping that consistency going from one show to another, 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:38.760 and everybody trusted you and followed you, and so yeah, 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:41.640 you were all over the world. You literally had this 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:47.320 unexpected i'm sure, just career of interesting stuff. And then 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.400 I went on to start Kelling Her because that was 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:51.120 right at the time that my mom was doing it. 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:52.840 So for me, I don't think I would have ended 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.840 up running the world's top matchmaking firm because I would 0:04:55.839 --> 0:05:00.680 have been dealing with girls getting drunk in hot tubs. 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.240 Man, we should have kind of should have switched places. 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:07.600 You could have saved me a lot of heartache and 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:11.159 a bad back traveling around the world, but you did. 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:16.080 So you started Kelling Her, your matchmaking company. Well that 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:17.880 would have been some over twenty years ago. 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.400 Well, it actually started thirty eight years ago. So my 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.960 mother started Keller Her in the eighties. Yeah, and I 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.000 was still in high school, but I ended up watching her, 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:29.480 and then when I went to Los Angeles and started acting, 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:31.640 and you know, like I did a lot of sitcoms 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:34.840 and TV shows, Baywatch and Married with Children and Melrose 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:38.680 Place and those those days, which is going to date me, 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:42.400 but it was very fun and I thought that that's 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.080 what I wanted to do. And it didn't matter what 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:46.760 side of the camera I was on. I really enjoyed 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:49.559 just making a creative project with a group of people. 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.400 And so I would sometimes be an assistant to the 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:55.760 director or I was a script supervisor. But anyway, my 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.159 mother was growing Keller her and at one point it 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.000 felt like it was too small to just have a 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.480 San Francisco office, and so she asked me if I 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:06.159 would run the Los Angeles office for her. It was 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:09.400 never like be my partner. Let's let's go global with 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:11.560 a matchmaking because nobody's ever heard of it and we 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:13.880 can conquer the world. It was like, hey, could you 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.040 answer the phones for me down in LA because I'm 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.039 getting too many calls, And so she just thought she'll 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:20.880 separate the numbers. I'll answer the two, one three and 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:22.880 the three one oh and she'll answer the four, one, five, 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:23.240 you know. 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:23.760 Yeah. 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.400 But as soon as soon as I started answering the phones, 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.440 I thought, well, this is so interesting. I want to 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.200 meet this person. And then I would meet them, and 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:31.800 I thought, well, she doesn't need to match them. I 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.240 think I could figure this out. And so I knew 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.640 so many people in the business. I was matching all 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:40.039 the producers and actors and everybody that I knew with 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.720 the clients, and that's kind of how we ended up, 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:45.320 like Matchmaker to the Stars. I was already in the industry, 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:47.720 and so whether it was the head of Paramount or 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.159 the head of CBS or whatever it was, these people 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.919 were all single and they all needed, you know, love, 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:56.400 and they weren't finding it because there were no dating services, 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:58.479 there were no apps, and there certainly weren't We didn't 0:06:58.480 --> 0:06:59.560 even have computers. 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:01.320 At the time to say, I mean, your mom Jill 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:04.240 started this back in nineteen eighty six, and I'm not 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:06.080 even going to go back to nineteen eighty six because 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:08.719 that's just too far. Even when you really got in 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:14.040 earnest a part of this, think how much it's changed. 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.120 And in all people even ask me, you know, how 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.240 has data changed since the batchler started, Well, we started 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.680 in two thousand and two thousand and one, I mean 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:28.000 that twenty four years, the world, technologically speaking, has changed exponentially. 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:31.520 So how I mean you try to quantify that? How 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:34.640 much has it changed just since you started the matchmaking business. 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:38.920 I've seen so many trends. And we have a new 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:43.000 gal that started going from an internship into what we 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.800 call a network developer, which is a step before you 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.720 become a matchmaker. And we were talking about these trends 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.920 just yesterday, and it's really interesting because you can see 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.560 how the world changes a little bit through talking to people. 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:59.080 So the example that we were using is, you know, 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.760 we did get computers eventually. In nineteen ninety seven, I 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:03.680 had a computer on my desk. I didn't know what 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:06.320 to do with it, but I had one. And all 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.640 of a sudden, this one client said she no longer 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:10.520 wants to talk on the phone. She only wants to email. 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.360 And I said, well, what's an email? And I couldn't 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:14.800 figure out what an email was? And then when I 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:16.680 found out it was something that she writes, I said, well, 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:18.840 that's the most impersonal thing I could ever imagine. Why 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.360 would I want to read something on a screen when 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:24.040 I'm we talk on the phone. So, you know, we 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:28.680 got really busy as a society. We no longer could 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:32.000 wait for that long facts, right, it was like instant 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:34.959 and you know, same thing with like our health. I 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.200 would interview people and they would say, well, I work 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.880 out once a week, and it was like, ooh, wow. 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:41.760 Okay, you work out. 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:44.600 That's cool. You know, like where are the gyms? We 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.120 didn't really have any. And then, you know, I remember 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:48.960 a couple of years later, some you know, people would 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:50.960 start saying, well I work out twice a week, and 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:53.960 it's like, oh my god, that's amazing. And then it 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:55.719 was three times a week, you know, and now it's like, yeah, 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:57.280 if I don't work out every single day, I'm not 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:58.840 going to be able to get through my day. So 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:04.400 you see these trends that happen and the world is 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:06.760 moving a lot faster and people don't have time to 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:12.040 really spend on themselves unfortunately. So the difference between a 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.200 dating app where it's like swipe, swipe, swipe, go waste 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:16.000 your time and start all over every single time you 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.120 meet someone, you start from the beginning, Start from the beginning. 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:22.319 Matchmaking still is traditional. It still is old fashioned in 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:25.040 the way that we kind of unplug you a little 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:28.959 bit and we say, you're actually going to have a nice, 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:33.160 you know, introduction with somebody over lunch or dinner, preferably dinner, 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.120 and you're going to have a conversation. And the good 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:39.240 thing about it is that they've already pre approved this person. 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:42.760 We've already met this person, We've vetted them. This is 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:46.319 not going to be some catfish or some girl, for example, 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.520 that doesn't look anything like her photos, or some man 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.680 that lied about his marital status. The things that people 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.920 have to go through on their own is really kind 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:58.440 of crushing. And people have become they have a fatigue 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.400 and a withdraw from the dating apps, and we're seeing 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:03.520 that right now and it's actually kind of depressing. 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:07.000 Well, it definitely is. And I just had a guest 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:09.360 on yesterday. We weren't even talking about dating, but we 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:12.160 ended up there, as all my interviews tend to do. 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:14.640 So I love love, and I love love, and I'm 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.760 still still very much entrenched in this world. But so 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:20.800 let's say you are a client. Let's say I'm a client, 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:25.920 what is the process because everybody is Fatigue is such 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.240 a great word to use. I was going to say exhausted, 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.120 but fatigue's even better. We are so fatigued by just 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:34.320 I mean, for lack of a better word, the bullsh 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:39.160 that you're having to deal with in the dating apps. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.280 From what I understand, I'm not on them, but it's 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.640 like drinking from a fire heightrant. It's just too much. 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:45.880 You're inundated with it. And like you said, it's like 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:49.199 a menu people are just swiping through. So let's say 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:51.240 I'm tired of it. I'm going to step up my game. 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.960 I'm going to call Keller her. I'm a client. What 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:55.720 is the process? Walk me through it. 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.520 Your entire life changes instantly. 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.120 Bluebirds on my shoulder. 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.800 Yeah, exactly, all of a sudden, it's color, the world's color. 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:10.480 It's a very good process for anybody and everybody to 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:15.720 go through because when we write about ourselves on a form, 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:18.160 let's say that we're going to put on Tinder or 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:20.960 Match or whatever it is, we put who we want 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:23.120 people to perceive us as. We never really put who 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:26.559 we truly are. Yeah, so when you don't really relate 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.240 with who you truly are, it's very hard to attract 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.120 the right partner because you're going to keep attracting people 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:35.280 that are going to show you through afflection what you're missing. 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:39.240 They're going to show you through reflection what your dysfunctions are, 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:42.160 and you keep blaming that person, but meanwhile, you haven't 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:45.600 been honest with yourself. So in the beginning, when you 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.880 join Kellor Her, we have a consultation on the phone, 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.360 which is really enlightening for a lot of people because 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.720 they feel safe and they feel like there's actually a 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.440 chance to talk to somebody who can see them for 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.800 who they are, who can appre shape them for who 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.160 they are. Everybody deserves. So my mom always says, there's 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.200 a lid for every pot. So you know, if you're 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:10.920 honest with yourself and you are not a bullshitter, then 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:14.680 you will find your match. And what's nice about Kellihers 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:17.680 you start with that process. Then we get, you know, photographs. 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:20.000 Some people want to have professional photos taken. That's fine. 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.920 We don't show photos to other matches. It's not like 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.800 we're sending Chris Harrison's photo out to everybody. A lot 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.000 of people that are high celebrities that we don't even 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.040 say their last name. You know, we would say Chris 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:33.680 is great. He comes from the entertainment business. You know, 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.440 he loves love, he's a family man, and he's he's 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.000 got a great podcast. We would describe who you are, 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:40.800 the things that you like to do, and the outdoors 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:44.720 and all this. We wouldn't put who Hollywood or who 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.880 People Magazine perceives you as, right, because that's yeah, that's 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:51.640 not really who you are, right. So okay, so it 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:55.280 starts with that, and then what ends up happening is, well, 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:56.560 first of all, give you kind of a little bit 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:59.560 of a higher level. We get about twenty thousand unique 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.400 visits month to our website. Okay, there's no way we 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.000 can take twenty thousand people, right, So we have software 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.400 that narrows it down to about a thousand that might 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.480 actually be good fits. But we still can't talk to 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.800 a thousand people, So we talk to about one hundred, 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:14.200 and we base that really on cities that make sense 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.840 for us age, that makes SEMs for us marital status 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.160 of course, being single enough money to be able to 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.520 afford matchmaking. But you can join for free. I'll just 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:24.120 throw that out there in case we forget to get back 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:25.880 to that. You can be in our files for free. 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:28.560 But there's a lot of categories that boom boom boom 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.079 always in at twenty thousand dollars, and then there's like 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:31.680 one hundred people that you actually want to talk to, 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:33.960 and out of that hundred, we take about twenty five. 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.320 And so when we're having those conversations, it's really about 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.600 are you ready? It's really about do you know who 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:41.440 you are? It's really about are you in love with 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:44.200 who you are? Are you okay and happy with who 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.680 you are? Because that's the person that we want to match. 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:48.520 And if you're not, then maybe we do a little 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.360 bit of coaching. If we're not, then maybe we show 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:52.760 you the reasons why you keep choosing the wrong person. 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:54.600 I had a guy say I'm joining for you to 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:56.600 protect me from myself. I said, what does that mean? 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:58.880 He said, I walk into a room every single time, 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:00.920 there'd be one hundred beautiful girls. I'll choose the wrong 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:02.160 one every single time. 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.440 Well, it's funny, you know this. We have a lot 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:07.440 of parallels in our life because one of the things 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.120 that I found often on The Bachelor was that we 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:13.120 have an idea when we go into a room, like 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.120 you just said, of what we want. I always date blonde, 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:19.680 I'm always with brunettes or whatever. I like athletic or 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:24.760 I like this. It's really funny because oftentimes they didn't 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:28.240 know what they really wanted and they didn't realize, you 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.840 know what, you're just always dating your mom or you're 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.240 always you know, it's like you have these dysfunctions that 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.120 you're always falling into these same traps. And so that's 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.480 what that's what we found compelling on The Bachelor is 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:40.920 because oftentimes you don't know what's best for you, which 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.440 is why, Yeah, you've ended up in this situation, and 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:45.000 so you cut. You do have to cut through the 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:48.320 bs to figure out what is this person really looking 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.160 for and you really have to kind of have to 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:53.360 slap them upside the head and put it in front 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:53.800 of them to. 0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:57.360 See that exactly exactly. So we call it a journey. 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.840 It is an adventure, but it's a journey. So it's 0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:01.920 not like, oh, I'm wealthy, I'm going to pay you 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.320 in I deserve, I deserve to have a match. It's like, 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.560 I'm going to work with you. We're going to do 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.480 this together. We're going to dive into all the things 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:12.240 that worked about past relationships, things that you were missing 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:16.320 in those relationships. Any any sort of not we all 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:19.240 have dysfunctions, but anything that might trip you up. And 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:23.360 then you're really good at being more discerning and you're 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:28.040 really good at not wasting your time because we are 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:31.040 very good at what we do and we're able to 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:33.960 kind of get rid of the the you know, the 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:37.000 riff raff, and so our clients learn how to do 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.280 that as well, and so they end up happier about themselves, 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.680 more confident about themselves. And then they start actually meeting 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:44.600 people on their own while they're with us, and they're like, 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:47.280 this never happens. And it's because they have this like 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:52.080 new excitement and they're inspired that actually love is real 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.160 and it can happen to them. And I think that 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:57.520 that's why it's a little bit of an adventure as 0:15:57.560 --> 0:15:59.480 well as a journey. But just to finish what we 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.760 do is then then we match you based on you know, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.080 who you are and where you live and all that. 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:07.440 We've got match makers all over the United States and 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:09.880 almost all the major cities, and then of course we're 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:13.200 overseas and like London and places like that, but we 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.800 work with people anywhere from one to two years. It 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.440 shouldn't take longer than that. Sometimes people don't really want 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.880 to rush. Not everybody wants to get married. But we 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.680 match you and then we talk to you. Why'd you think, Chris? 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.480 What'd you like? What didn't you like? What were their expectations? 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.560 What you know? And we have a real conversation. And 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:32.360 instead of a psychiatrist that gets to hear their client 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.080 complain about every single guy that never calls her back 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.560 and she's the greatest match and she doesn't understand why 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:39.320 none of the guys can figure it out, and she 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:42.720 only hears that girl's story, we're the fly on the wall. 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.920 We get to hear what he thought about her host sides, 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:50.280 both sides, and then we go, well, actually, did you 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:52.680 know you were extremely rude to the staff, you know 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:56.320 what I mean, like we can rush And then they go, yeah, 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:58.240 you did ask him a single question, you had three 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.800 drinks before your first entree. And then they kind of go, 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:05.040 I did anyway, So you do learn about yourself and 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:07.679 it is exciting and we bring love to you. 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.800 Cutting through the riff raff is interesting because that is 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:14.080 something you know. I have friends, very successful friends, and 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.639 they talk about dating and I'm like, you're what you 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:22.520 want is a plaything, you're not really serious about a relationship. 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.960 And you get some of these high powered CEOs men 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:28.120 and women and they're just they want life their way 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.199 and they are used to earn money at it. And 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.160 that's who you're dealing with, is some of these very 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:35.200 powerful people. How do you cut these people to the 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.080 quick and say no, no, this isn't how we're going 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:38.760 to go about this. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:43.040 That's a really good point, Chris, because people that are 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:47.879 extremely successful in their careers expect to be the same 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:51.200 amount of success. We actually did a twenty twenty show 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.680 years ago, and you know, it's not often clients will 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.360 go on TV, but this gentleman was willing to do it. 0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:59.879 And I forget the name of the woman that stars 0:17:59.920 --> 0:18:03.320 on twenty twenty, but she sat him down in a chair. 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.359 And of course we can't tell a you know, a 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.840 journalist what to say, right, We're just like taking our 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.120 wrists the whole time. And she says, she says, why 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:18.400 would you pay? Why would you rich, good looking car house? 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:24.399 Why would you pay for a match? And I, my 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.119 mom and I are start just like saying because we 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:31.280 were like, oh my god, I didn't like that. Yeah, 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.720 And we were just like looking like this, and he says, 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.760 I grew up and I was told getting a PhD 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.159 was going to be tough. I was told starting a 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:42.640 career was going to be tough. I was told being 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.080 successful was going to be tough. Buying a house was 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:46.720 going to be tough, getting the car and he says, 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:51.800 that was easy. Nobody taught me about finding love. And 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:53.760 he said, and I don't want to just end up 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.439 with anybody. I worked so hard my whole life. I 0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:58.879 want to share it with the right person. And she 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.800 just went, oh, like that makes a lot of sense. 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:06.400 I just smiled and we're like, oh my god, because 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:07.720