1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, we could be reading your 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 2: Buck up, hold on tight. We got it for you. 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 3: Here. 9 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,319 Speaker 2: It is Strawbaby Letter. 10 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: Subject You're not as sexy as you think you are. 11 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty year old married woman 12 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: and my husband and I have been together for six years. 13 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: We have a three year old son, and since I 14 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: had the baby, our intimacy has gotten a little stale. 15 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: We tried role playing, watching videos, and talking dirty to 16 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 1: keep the magic going, but nothing helped. A friend suggested 17 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,520 Speaker 1: we put a full length mirror next to our bed 18 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: because it worked for her and her hubby. They love 19 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: watching themselves getting it on. My husband and I decided 20 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: to try it. We bought a big mirror and put 21 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: it right next to our bed. The first night we 22 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: got busy, I was disgusted and utterly mortified at what 23 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: I saw. I haven't lost all the weight from when 24 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: I was pregnant and seeing myself from those angles and 25 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: in the crazy positions my husband likes. I was ashamed 26 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: at what I saw, and he did not look that 27 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: great either. I was so turned off by watching us 28 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: get it on, but my husband loved it. I tried 29 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: to keep my eyes closed, but he wanted me to 30 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,919 Speaker 1: look him in the eye the entire time. 31 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 4: I faked it. I faked it until he was done. 32 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: He asked me if I loved it, and I yelled, peck, no, 33 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: I don't like it at all. He said that I 34 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: had to get used to it because he feels like 35 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: our sex life is back to normal. 36 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 4: I want to crack the mirror and throw it out. 37 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: I tactfully told him that he's overweight and so am I, 38 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: but he said he doesn't care how he and the 39 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: mirror is staying. I have been dieting since then to 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: get myself back in shape, and I've lost a few pounds, 41 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: but he is not working out or dieting, so I'm 42 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: stuck looking at his big, wide naked behind all the time. 43 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 4: How do I tell him you were going to like 44 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 4: that a lot? 45 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: How do I tell him that he is not sexy 46 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,519 Speaker 1: without insulting him or making him feel self conscious. Please advise, well, 47 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I'm glad at least you found 48 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: something thanks to your good friends to help you get 49 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: your groove back, A big mirror. Who knew that was 50 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: the answer, because you said your sex life have been 51 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: getting stale, so this is good. I mean, you could 52 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: look at this at least a couple of different ways. 53 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: You can choose to concentrate on your partner's body like 54 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: you've done, and not, you know, get into the act itself. 55 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: That would be boring and utterly disgusting, as you said, 56 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: because you couldn't get past his body or yours at 57 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 1: the time. The way you could look at it is 58 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: just to go with the moment and forget what he 59 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: looks like, just you know, get into it. The good 60 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: thing is that it did motivate you, I'll say this 61 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 1: to get in better shape for yourself, which is good 62 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: for your health. But you want to know, how do 63 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,639 Speaker 1: you tell him that he's not sexy because you don't 64 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: want to do it without insulting him or making him 65 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: feel self conscious. I mean, you said you said you 66 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 1: told him that you didn't like it, and he said, well, 67 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: he did in the mirror staying. So you got to 68 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: try and persuade him, you know, in the best way 69 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: you can. And sounds like you know how to do 70 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: it because he's happy now to let him know that. 71 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: You know, why don't you guys, you know, get healthy, 72 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: eat better so you can look good in the mirror. 73 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 4: That turns you on. 74 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: You have to tell him stuff like that so he'll 75 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: get into it, all right. I think if you tell 76 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: him in that way, you know he won't feel self 77 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: conscious about it and you won't insult him, all right, Steve. 78 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 3: Well, well, well, well you ain't as sexy as you 79 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 3: think you are. Fallly, thirty year old married woman husband 80 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: been together six years and got a three year old, 81 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 3: and you know that intimacy kind of got a little stale. 82 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 2: So they tried some things, you know, they were doing. 83 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 3: Role playing, they been watching videos, talking dirty, but nothing 84 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 3: to help. A friend of yours told y'all, y'all need 85 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 3: to get a full left mirror, put it next to 86 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 3: y'all's bed and look at y'allself. 87 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 2: Now, the first night y'all did it, you got. 88 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 3: Disgusted and utterly mortified at what you saw, because you 89 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 3: ain't lost all the weight from when I was pregnant, 90 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 3: and that's understandable. 91 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 2: Use that baby weight. It's hard to get it off. 92 00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 3: But you now, you're too hard on yourself now and 93 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 3: you've been seeing yourself from all these angles, in the 94 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 3: crazy positions your hoods were like, you ain't. 95 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 2: Know you look like that? 96 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 3: See you know why because you're looking at yourself from 97 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,040 Speaker 3: the side. 98 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,039 Speaker 2: I have four worn y'all. 99 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 3: The best way to look at yourself naked is fresh 100 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 3: out the shower. Don't dry off and walk directly, head 101 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 3: on straight to the mirror. That's your absolute best naked body. 102 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 3: Don't dry off, and do not turn sideway. Lord, I 103 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 3: came out. See, I came out of the bathroom one 104 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 3: time taking the shower, and I was going over to 105 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 3: my closet and I walked past the mirror and I 106 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 3: ran right quick because I thought somebody was in the 107 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 3: bathroom and it was my fat ass. 108 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 2: I thought somebody was in the bathroom. I said, yeah. 109 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 3: It was me crazy because I looked at myself from 110 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 3: the side, So to you seeing yourself from the side, 111 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 3: I was ashamed. 112 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 2: And he didn't look that great. 113 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 3: Eth you got so turned off watching, but your husband 114 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 3: liked it. 115 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 2: I try to keep my eyes closed, but he wants 116 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 2: me to look him in the eye the entire time. 117 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's a turn on, right there. I faked 118 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 3: it till he was done. He asked me if I 119 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 3: loved it. I said hell no. He said, you better 120 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 3: get used to it, because we're back and I'm gonna 121 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 3: keep it like that. So not he keeping the mirror 122 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 3: and you trying to figure out how to tell him 123 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 3: he's not sexy without insulting him or making feel self 124 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 3: cont I had that answer for you, Suan. 125 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: Right at twenty three minutes after the hour of today's 126 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters subject You're not as sexy if you think 127 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: you are. 128 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 4: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening 129 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 4: morning show? 130 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,840 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. 131 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 4: You're not as sexy as you'd think you are. 132 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, they didn't mess around about this mirror listening 133 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 3: to a friend of hers. Friend told him to add 134 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 3: spicing to his sex like when they put the mirror 135 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 3: up and they got busy. The woman did not like 136 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 3: the way she looked because she ain't lost her baby wit. 137 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 3: She got three year old and She was mortified at 138 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 3: the way she looked from some of the angles that 139 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 3: her and her her husband had. 140 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 2: Her doing, so she didn't like it. She was ashamed. 141 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 3: But here the thing was, he didn't look that great either, 142 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 3: so she was so turned off by us getting it on. 143 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 2: That she tried to close her eyes. Now he wanted me. 144 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 3: He wanted her to look at her and eye the 145 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 3: entire time, so she faked that he was gonna He 146 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 3: asked me if I loved it. 147 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 2: I said, hell, no, I don't like it all. 148 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 3: Well, he said, you better get you to it, because 149 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 3: we feel like our sex life is back. I want 150 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 3: to crack that mirror, throw it out, And now I'm 151 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 3: gonna show you how to do that. When tomorrow night 152 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 3: you western heels and then act like you get good 153 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 3: till you hang your leg off the bed and kick it. 154 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 2: Got to crack the mirror and break it. It'll be 155 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 2: over and he'll think it's because he was really bringing it. 156 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 2: All you want to do is on to the. 157 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 3: Edge of the bed and let that leg fall off 158 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 3: and kick that damn meal with them heels on. Okay, 159 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 3: we can get rid of like. But I tactfully told 160 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 3: him he's overweight and so in mind he said he 161 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 3: don't care how he looks, and the mirror stand. I've 162 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 3: been dying since then to get myself back in shape. 163 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 3: I've lost a few pounds, but he ain't working out 164 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 3: or die. So I'm stuck looking at his big, wide 165 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 3: naked behind all the time. 166 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 2: How do I. 167 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 3: Tell him he's not sexy without insulting him or making 168 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 3: him feel self conscious? 169 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 2: He is what you got to do. 170 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 3: When a man think he bringing it, you can't insult him. 171 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 2: So what you have to do is you have to insult. 172 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: Him, but in complementary insulting ways. You have to insult him, 173 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:28,239 Speaker 3: but in complementary sexy ways. Oh, come on, fat daddy, because. 174 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 2: You got to say stuff. 175 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, spank me with your fat. You know, you got 176 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 3: to say stuff like that. That'll turn him home and 177 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 3: but then he'll go, wait, spank me with your fact, 178 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 3: you know. 179 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 2: Oh I see your fat boy. Oh bring it? Oh 180 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 2: pills bray do. Boy can't be this good. 181 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 3: You got to say stuff like that. You're white as 182 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 3: is bringing it? Yes, you know, just start singing. His 183 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 3: saidacaus is coming to town. Oh yeah, it's coming to town. Yeah, 184 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 3: you got to do that you got to come up 185 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 3: with names and all fat app that is in the building. 186 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 3: You got to say stuff like that, but say it 187 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 3: during sex where he after why he goes, Wait a. 188 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: Minute, Oh, who. 189 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 2: The hell you call it? Fat apple? But I was 190 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 2: just looking in the mere baby. That's who you remind 191 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 2: me of. Don't stop, keep. 192 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 3: Going, and you just got you got to crack him 193 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,560 Speaker 3: with insults that are. 194 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: Complementing complimentary insult Right, will he get the message you think? 195 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, one of. 196 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 3: Them gonna one of them gonna be real, really be 197 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 3: striking her with it. You know, you just gotta say though, 198 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 3: that's Domino. No, you got you say it like that. 199 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 2: You know. Ah, look at my little butterball turkey. You know. 200 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 3: Ah, you better come on with your big white naked ass. 201 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 2: Look how wide you is? Boy? Let me tell you something. Boy, 202 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 2: you might not be long, but who are you? Why? 203 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:26,319 Speaker 2: Wait a minute? 204 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 4: What what did she say? 205 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 3: Oh? 206 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 2: You ain't doing nothing, but who you're why? Though I 207 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 2: can't even see the head? Boy? Oh you got some 208 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 2: ad anything? Get your stomach? Oh my stomach, that's it. 209 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 2: That's it. 210 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, man, you know, you know, hold up, you know 211 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 3: I appreciate you, you know, getting into it and everything. 212 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 3: But you don't you don't think you saying a little 213 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 3: bit too much. Well, I'm just saying what I see. 214 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: I'm doing, see something, say something, You. 215 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,439 Speaker 2: See something, say something. 216 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 3: You know. 217 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 2: I'm all I go. I'm just you know. 218 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 3: I mean here, all this mirror, all this meal, all 219 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 3: these angles and everything. 220 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 2: Come home. Oh, mister Walrich, what we're gonna do tonight? 221 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 3: All right? 222 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 2: Thank you, Steve. 223 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 4: We got the message, all right. Poster comments on Today's Strawberry. 224 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 2: Letter set, Can I say one last thing? 225 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 4: One last thing? 226 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 2: And if that don't work, divorce. 227 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 4: Him as I was saying. 228 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 1: Poster comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FEMA 229 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: and Instagram and Facebook. Please don't forget to check out 230 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 231 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 4: You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.