Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Pokey
Speaker 1: Trend Shaped Cheeto in honor of our first story.
Speaker 2: My name is Jack O'Brien. That over there is Miles Bred.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you, Oh my god, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for thanking me. Oh thank you,
Speaker 1: right off the bat, Miles. Yep, let's be heard about
Speaker 1: the rock pipe theory. Shout out Connor O'Malley. Great video
Speaker 1: that we'll be talking about in a moment probably forever,
Speaker 1: but forever, for now and forever. But first we got
Speaker 1: to get to the top story of the day, which
Speaker 1: is that a Pokemon shaped cheeto sold for nearly ninety
Speaker 1: thousand dollars according to CNN dot com. At first, I
Speaker 1: was skeptical, you know, how.
Speaker 2: Could a cheeto possibly look like a Pokey Maine exactly?
Speaker 3: But so it looks like charizard it do.
Speaker 1: So I went, it's in a It's in like a
Speaker 1: glass case that you would like keep a baseball card in.
Speaker 1: That's also inside another glass case that you would keep
Speaker 1: like the crown jewel inside of. So this is a
Speaker 1: fucking dead stock cheeto. Yeah, this shit never saw the
Speaker 1: outside of a bag.
Speaker 2: They were just like gloves. Yeah, exactly dead stock cheeto
Speaker 2: dust on there bro no dust transfer, no dust transfer
Speaker 2: even when this thing was being set. Yeah, but so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, skeptically first when I went and saw it though,
Speaker 1: So it has this combination of, uh, it actually looks
Speaker 1: like charzard, but it also looks like a cheeto enough
Speaker 1: that it looks accidental, you know. Yeah, So that combination
Speaker 1: makes it one of the finest specimens I've seen. I
Speaker 1: still think they slightly overpaid it ninety thousand. I'd probably
Speaker 1: put the value closer to seven dollars and fifty cents,
Speaker 1: but a remarkable specimen nonetheless.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yeah, I mean, I'm currently bidding on
Speaker 2: a cheeto that shaped like the Persian princess Shaherazad, and
Speaker 2: it's not going about fifteen bucks, right, I think a
Speaker 2: much more seminal figure. But yeah, whatever, dude, if that's
Speaker 2: your shit and you have that much money, to fucking
Speaker 2: piss away and I don't know nothing, nothing means anything,
Speaker 2: So yeah, buy your ninety thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: For it really matters. Got I'm a good singers. That's
Speaker 1: the second story. I'm a really good singer.
Speaker 2: Third story story this nothing nothing really matters to me.
Speaker 1: Oh, that was all the same note I was sinking.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's the same note. All right, big news for us,
Speaker 1: I guess not us. Right, So there's a new generation here,
Speaker 1: like starting right now, babies born going forward. So babies
Speaker 1: up to this point have been JEN Alpha Alpha alf
Speaker 1: this generation they've decided to just go straight up Gen beta. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're calling them jen beta, which that's it feels like
Speaker 1: they're going to like to watch other babies nursing on
Speaker 1: their mom like that whatever the cuck equivalent of a
Speaker 1: baby is.
Speaker 3: You know, I think that's what.
Speaker 2: Weird too. Yeah, and they're buying too much avocado toast
Speaker 2: and not buying enough engagement rings, so they're off.
Speaker 1: The engagement ring market has fucking collapsed. Things generation started
Speaker 1: being born. Yeah, they don't have as much disposable wealth
Speaker 1: as past babies.
Speaker 2: Uh, it's there. We're so the generation. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. And it was like that's what this
Speaker 2: one's going to be called, more and more screwed. Yeah,
Speaker 2: these are the people that are like and like the
Speaker 2: younger Gen Alpha are the people that may live to
Speaker 2: see the twenty second century, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like this is this is the way people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they should all things. I mean, I think
Speaker 1: on average they will at this point, born in twenty five,
Speaker 1: they should, they should get to seventy five, I hope.
Speaker 2: So, I hope.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because, as we've seen, healthcare in this country is
Speaker 1: progressive and just keeps getting better and better. So yeah,
Speaker 1: surely lifespans will. Oh wait, what's this about nobody regulating
Speaker 1: air pollution anymore?
Speaker 2: Never mind, we're all fucked. Good boy, Jen Beta though, Hey,
Speaker 2: good luck out here.
Speaker 3: It's tough, Jim Beta, Jim.
Speaker 1: Beta, you come to me on this day of my
Speaker 1: daughter's wedding.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Does it sound does it sound like
Speaker 3: it could be Jim Beta?
Speaker 2: I like more bib Fortuna from Star Wars. Ah they
Speaker 2: want gen Beta and like then Jaba is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: sounds like a thing, sounds like something.
Speaker 1: That is what we have figured out. We figured out
Speaker 1: that I'm a good singer. And Jim Bade sounds like something.
Speaker 2: It sounds like bid for tuna, talk bib.
Speaker 1: For tuna, that I need a big fortuna. That's how much.
Speaker 1: That's how much I'm gonna be housing these fucking poke balls.
Speaker 1: And dang bib, dang bib, what a stupid joke.
Speaker 2: You try and tell like some Star Wars fans and
Speaker 2: like Dode, shut the fuck up. They just try and
Speaker 2: tell on your podcast.
Speaker 1: You're tired of talking about Donald Trump, so we're just
Speaker 1: doing anything to fucking well.
Speaker 2: Look, there is some news. The Supreme Court did basically
Speaker 2: say like, sorry, assholes, you got to pay that two
Speaker 2: billion dollars that you thought you didn't have to pay.
Speaker 2: So that's that's that's a that's a bit of niceness.
Speaker 2: What what. They denied Trump's request to block the two
Speaker 2: billion dollars for an aid payment, so they held up
Speaker 2: a lower court decision five to for a vote. That's
Speaker 2: where Amy Coney Barrett and John Roberts flipped on him
Speaker 2: to get that one to squeak by it. But a
Speaker 2: lot of it too, is just slip.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I do call Amy Cony Barrett and John Roberts the
Speaker 1: flip mode squad. Yeah yeah, you did always say that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. John Roberts is like the spliff star of the
Speaker 2: Supreme Court.
Speaker 1: Slow down shot of Trump, Tony Barrett and her being like, god,
Speaker 1: damn it it is. Now here's here's my outside theory though,
Speaker 1: Pardy chess. No, she's praying for him. That would be
Speaker 1: because so in the clip, she looks at him and
Speaker 1: then closes her eyes in a pained way, looks directly ahead,
Speaker 1: closes her eyes again in a pained way.
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people are.
Speaker 1: Like that is how I would act if I was
Speaker 1: like this fucking asshole.
Speaker 2: But but you think she was trying to most people, I.
Speaker 1: Think she's just like, dear Lord, please protect him with
Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 2: Your Lord, please protect your lord.
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, Yes, exactly, Please protect your father.
Speaker 2: To your father God, please protect your fad they're Donald.
Speaker 1: And then uh, there's some question on whether he's holding
Speaker 1: up the tariffs. This is a genre of news story
Speaker 1: I'm not crazy about where it's like they're trying to
Speaker 1: go Trump into doing something that's gonna fuck everybody over
Speaker 1: where they're like, WHOA, well, I thought you were tough
Speaker 1: with the tariffs, bitch, what do you you know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, I know you have to report on it, But
Speaker 2: like the thing where.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, not such not such a tough guy
Speaker 1: anymore about the tariffs, or about like the deportation fucking
Speaker 1: police coming through and they're like, wow, looks like he's
Speaker 1: not deporting as many people as Biden was. It's like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: Biden was a fucking monster. What do you Yeah, we're yeah, anyway, that's.
Speaker 2: The other thing he was. Well, the other thing too,
Speaker 2: is like they're talking about potentially taking away Temporary protected
Speaker 2: status for Ukrainian refugee in the US. Yeah, And then
Speaker 2: someone asked him in the Oval office. He's like the
Speaker 2: what like PPS? He said, you said GPS, and they're like, bro,
Speaker 2: he has my grasp of all the shit, like just
Speaker 2: sorry GPS.
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you talking about GPS?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, real bad, real bad stuff there.
Speaker 3: I hate it.
Speaker 1: Can't even tell me where to go when I say
Speaker 1: where's toilet when I'm just walking around.
Speaker 2: This is definitely a bit of pump facing Trump facing
Speaker 2: on the This is like everything just like the last time.
Speaker 2: He's like I got them to agree to a great
Speaker 2: border deal, where they're just like, yeah, we're just doing
Speaker 2: the same shit. What are you talking about? Like you
Speaker 2: didn't get anything out of us. And now the talks
Speaker 2: are that the tariffs will be delayed for about a
Speaker 2: month on a lot of exports to the United States
Speaker 2: coming out of Canada Mexico because they will exempt traded
Speaker 2: goods under the rules of the US Mexico Canada Agreement
Speaker 2: that trade packed the USMCA from his first term, and
Speaker 2: it's just all it's just a bunch of fucking.
Speaker 1: Cho It's my favorite mid major basketball college basketball tournament USMC.
Speaker 1: He does seem to be like backing down. He's like
Speaker 1: I'm doing I'm extending this nicety to Mexico because me
Speaker 1: and shine Bomb are tight. She's cool, she gets me,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. She continues to be good at
Speaker 1: her job, so that's cool.
Speaker 2: So we'll see.
Speaker 1: I have also been enjoying the meming of jd Vance's
Speaker 1: big cabbage patch ass face.
Speaker 3: Uh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Wind milling on him. These memes are some of them
Speaker 2: are like fucking me. Like visually, they're hard to kind
Speaker 2: of digest. The JD Vance's pumpkin face.
Speaker 1: He's just such a like easy canvas to like, you know,
Speaker 1: with the catch fucking with just so many like now
Speaker 1: a chairlift can't get off a chairlift because as he
Speaker 1: was fucking the chairlift like this one. Now, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't picture him. I can only picture the big
Speaker 1: puffy face him. Uh huh, you know that's all I see.
Speaker 3: Another one like a minion. Yeah, go with.
Speaker 2: The whole old school Kate Gosslin, Can I speak to
Speaker 2: the manager haircut? It all just works. He should have
Speaker 2: been an actor. This guy could have been, could have
Speaker 2: done such a chameleon, you know, he could look like
Speaker 2: the greatest performer, senator, a vice president, a piece of shit, like,
Speaker 2: whatever you want, he can do it.
Speaker 1: Well, you're welcome, I guess on the internet's muse. Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, you're welcome for all the memes. All right,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll come back and
Speaker 1: talk about the pipe rock theory aka the curse of conspiracy.
Speaker 3: We'll be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 2: And we're bad.
Speaker 1: The right is a bit into cursive these days, which
Speaker 1: feels counter to their whole shit, like that seems like
Speaker 1: the sort of thing I don't even fucking believe in cursive, dog, Like,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Why don't they say? It's like, like, I'm surprised they
Speaker 2: never went around to like that cursive as woke because
Speaker 2: they can't do it. It's like, I'm bad at cursive,
Speaker 2: so that's woke.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, they are fucking screaming about cursive handwriting constant because
Speaker 2: recently the Idaho Senate introduced a bill that would require
Speaker 2: students to quote be proficient at reading and writing in
Speaker 2: cursive by the end of fifth grade. But it's already
Speaker 2: talked in schools in Idaho. But it's now declared an
Speaker 2: emergency so they can assess students cursive next year. What why?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Man, but you already do it.
Speaker 1: We got to address this crisis. Wait, it sounds like
Speaker 1: have you not heard cursive conspiracy?
Speaker 3: Piper?
Speaker 1: All right, we keep referring to this conorill Malley. You're
Speaker 1: talking about cursive.
Speaker 2: Theory, you're talking about pipe rock theory.
Speaker 1: This is a great Connor O'Malley video that you guys
Speaker 1: just need to go watch.
Speaker 2: Go to his instagram. It's it's one of the first
Speaker 2: posts he has.
Speaker 1: They just nail the tone of ninety percent of podcasts
Speaker 1: or just.
Speaker 2: That like pseudo intellectual Broach Bull Show. Yeah, where it's
Speaker 2: like it's always like, have you heard of this thing?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I just checked it out. Anyway, I can't
Speaker 2: look at pipe obviously, pipe obviously sitting rock.
Speaker 1: So this one holds together about as well as well
Speaker 1: as the fictional pipe rock theory. Their theory is so
Speaker 1: Obama's common core uh, you know, the like federal rules
Speaker 1: around public education that still leave like a ton of
Speaker 1: leeway up.
Speaker 3: To the states to determine, like, you know, what their per.
Speaker 2: What the Civil War was about, right exactly.
Speaker 3: But they did not require cursive at a time when
Speaker 3: people were starting to communicate almost exclusively through keyboards. Hold
Speaker 3: on what.
Speaker 2: They're not required to learn cursive and soma.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying. I'm just saying. That caught my attention.
Speaker 3: Uh huh. So now we're thinking about what does Obama
Speaker 3: want to do? What does he want to do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, wants to tear up the Constitutionstitution country.
Speaker 2: So it's the Constitution written in.
Speaker 1: Fucking English English.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's true, bro, But like the style of writing
Speaker 2: on the old paper, the old cop the old printer paper,
Speaker 2: they wrote on what kind.
Speaker 1: I've never seen it. I've only That's the thing. I
Speaker 1: just use it to justify my transphobia. It assumes that
Speaker 1: people only read the Constitution at the Smithsonian, Like the
Speaker 1: Constitution has been translated from its original cursive into uh,
Speaker 1: you know, text on the internet, text on you can
Speaker 1: get it as a book, notably not written in cursive.
Speaker 2: And they are still like we got.
Speaker 3: We got the shit figured out the whole.
Speaker 1: They're just trying to shut down the Constitution by keeping
Speaker 1: us from reading the original document in the Smithsonian.
Speaker 2: That's true because if you can't write cursive, then you
Speaker 2: can't read cursive constitution incursive. Therefore you do not know
Speaker 2: about the Constitution, and there's no other way to read
Speaker 2: it except for going up to the little glass case
Speaker 2: and reading it through there.
Speaker 1: So it does like tie into a part of conservatism
Speaker 1: where they just like to I don't know, they like
Speaker 1: rules that they like to be like told they're being
Speaker 1: like bad or good and like, you know, fuck free thought,
Speaker 1: Let's just learn how to like make these shapes, you know.
Speaker 1: So they're like, yeah, this is cool. Let's let's focus.
Speaker 3: On cursive again and again.
Speaker 2: And the thing that people were it wasn't really being taught.
Speaker 2: It's like, I, man, have you tried to write cursive?
Speaker 2: I know we were taught cursive, you know, but you
Speaker 2: what's what's the last time you actually wrote in cursive?
Speaker 3: I tried up Billy Madison. I'm Billy Madison. Man, We're rude.
Speaker 2: I am you.
Speaker 1: You asked me to. If anybody hasn't seen Billy Madison,
Speaker 1: he's asked to write uto in cursive and.
Speaker 3: His cursive Z is just uh.
Speaker 2: Quigly like this. It's so hard to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're really a lot of work.
Speaker 2: I hate it, right because I could. I couldn't nail
Speaker 2: an upper case like a capital G incursive and that's like,
Speaker 2: you know, fundamental to writing my name. And I just
Speaker 2: hate the way it looked. It looked like a weird
Speaker 2: I don't asks character or something. Yeah, is this shiit?
Speaker 1: No, it's like got curls in all four corners kind
Speaker 1: of yeah.
Speaker 2: No, it's tough. It's tough, so I don't know. It's
Speaker 2: also weird.
Speaker 1: Wait is the no the uppercase b's alright, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: one's easier. Yeah, but there's there is something you hit
Speaker 1: Q you fucking talking about?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 2: WHOA do it? Please?
Speaker 3: Please thank you?
Speaker 1: Why did they make it? Why did they make the
Speaker 1: queue so complicated?
Speaker 2: Yep, I'm just saying, Actually, it's not that I should
Speaker 2: look like it too. Never mind, it just looks like
Speaker 2: it too.
Speaker 1: But that's confusing, And what who's the second parties.
Speaker 2: Were getting stupid or even trying to even think about
Speaker 2: how it's fucking connected.
Speaker 3: Have you heard of biproctery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I heard a biproctery.
Speaker 1: It does seem like the Republicans have been trying to
Speaker 1: make this one of their cultural war causes for a while.
Speaker 1: In twenty thirteen, North Carolina Republicans brag that they had
Speaker 1: reinstated cursive in a list of accomplishments that also included
Speaker 1: tax cuts, abortion restrictions, and the right to carry a
Speaker 1: gun into a bar or restaurant.
Speaker 2: And cursive fulk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because kids need a little discipline.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that there again, there's like just study
Speaker 2: after study shows there's no fucking difference when you learn
Speaker 2: how to write in which one doesn't. There's no advantage
Speaker 2: to either. Uh, and I don't know. I mean, like
Speaker 2: we writing evolves over time. I mean I remember in
Speaker 2: an era where there was no cursive.
Speaker 3: I think when what was that?
Speaker 2: You remember an era? I don't know, No, man, I
Speaker 2: don't think so. Man, Yeah, I think that's been interested. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're right, I guess I should keep it.
Speaker 1: My mom has beautiful handwriting. I just want to say,
Speaker 1: a beautiful cursive ship. Yeah, cursive, all cursive.
Speaker 2: It is interesting to see because like you can almost
Speaker 2: you can see it's funny I can tell like a
Speaker 2: Japanese person's handwriting in English, because everyone learns to write
Speaker 2: in English the same way that like I can look
Speaker 2: at I go, this is a Japanese person writing in English,
Speaker 2: because like, neither to. It's just the way. It's just
Speaker 2: the way the shapes of the letters are and things
Speaker 2: like that. It's not necessarily that it's like beautiful, but
Speaker 2: it has like a distinct style. But it's also funny.
Speaker 2: I think, like, when I think of my grandmother's cursive handwriting,
Speaker 2: it looks like the fucking Constitution, right, how the fuck
Speaker 2: are you? I'm like, I can barely write this fast.
Speaker 1: Or yeah, my mom's penmanship is beautiful and completely impenetrable.
Speaker 3: I don't know what any of it says.
Speaker 2: It's not that I'm illiterate, it's that this curse it's
Speaker 2: all fucking weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right, two quick stories here, okay, close
Speaker 1: to my I thought of you. I thought of you
Speaker 1: when I saw this, all right, So on the Yeah.
Speaker 1: The Academy Museum groupid Trip announced that they have coming
Speaker 1: for the fiftieth anniversary of a little film called Joels.
Speaker 1: As my cousin said it, They have the Jaws exhibition
Speaker 1: Jaws the exhibition.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's.
Speaker 1: Got everything, it's got everything, it's got the the fin
Speaker 1: I think was the one thing I see.
Speaker 3: Fin up there.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see the news article about local
Speaker 2: man tries to get his whole ship bit by an
Speaker 2: electronic Jaws exhibit.
Speaker 1: But they do have Jaws hanging in the museum already. Yeah, so,
Speaker 1: I mean I've already been pretty Uh.
Speaker 2: You had your eye on that thing Horny on.
Speaker 1: Maine while touring that touring that museum act Jacked.
Speaker 2: Why are you looking at that? Let's just go, let's
Speaker 2: go see the original Rosebud?
Speaker 3: Why are you sweating so much?
Speaker 2: Nothing? When I saw that sled from Citizen Kane? Is
Speaker 2: that real?
Speaker 3: They have the sled from Citizen?
Speaker 2: There's like two Yeah, apparently they made two rose Buds.
Speaker 2: Is Rosebud the sled?
Speaker 3: Yay? Miles fucking spoiler dude.
Speaker 2: So I don't give a fuck, And I don't know
Speaker 2: what the fuck that is. I ain't watching this shit. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I just know. I just know what I was lying.
Speaker 2: But I remember it was there, and I just remember, like,
Speaker 2: all right, another, I mean, I guess it just shows
Speaker 2: you how different people attach meaning to film like where
Speaker 2: I know it just sort of as a cultural thing.
Speaker 2: Never seen it. Not interested it's black and white. Sorry, can't.
Speaker 1: Sorry that movie isn't a movie.
Speaker 2: That's a historical doc. There's only one black and white movie.
Speaker 2: I know. It's called eraser Head, Okay, and I will
Speaker 2: then I'm sticking to that.
Speaker 1: But they showed you that before you had seen the
Speaker 1: color ones, So.
Speaker 2: You're like, is this what movies are? I guess all
Speaker 2: black and movies are like, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: This looks like I don't know. Just from the ad
Speaker 2: for it, it looked like they had so much of the
Speaker 2: original props and objects that.
Speaker 1: They Like the Godfather exhibit that they had was really solid,
Speaker 1: Like they had that really good footage of like people
Speaker 1: trying out for the various roles the different.
Speaker 2: Sets they rebuilt inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, really cool.
Speaker 1: So like this is gonna be fucking level three gush
Speaker 1: for this bogs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where he's like, I'm about to fucking hide in
Speaker 2: the Academy Museum Night at the Museum, folks, Me and Jaws. Yeah,
Speaker 2: September fourteenth. Anyway, that's it. That's just like the most
Speaker 2: la thing that we could have said right now, Like
Speaker 2: do the jaws exhibit Jaws EXHIBI jowels. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then also Taco Bell had so they do like
Speaker 1: a parody of tech conference keynotes where they announce upcoming.
Speaker 2: Products so funny.
Speaker 3: So they did one.
Speaker 1: It's so funny, you guys, get god, why this one?
Speaker 1: They're like stvery shitting on their old like chicken products
Speaker 1: while introducing some that like don't seem better than the
Speaker 1: old chicken product. Like they're like the they made fun of,
Speaker 1: like the chicken biscuit taco. They're like, why why would
Speaker 1: we have done this? I'm like, I don't know that
Speaker 1: shit sounds good. I just like didn't have time to
Speaker 1: eat it.
Speaker 2: The new biscuit chicken taco just crispy chicken in a burrito.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2: Well anyways, won't try it because I only eat the
Speaker 2: same four things. Sorry, Taco Bell, you won't get me.
Speaker 2: You're sorry, you can't do it.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 1: That's gonna be their next move. It's gonna be the
Speaker 1: equivalent of the like forced obsolescence that Apple does where
Speaker 1: the food goes bad really quickly, right.
Speaker 2: Where you're like, oh I can't eat this, I better
Speaker 2: get the new thing. Sure, all right.
Speaker 1: That is the episode for today, Thursday, March sixth. We
Speaker 1: are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show.
Speaker 1: Until then, be kind to each other and be kind
Speaker 1: to yourself. Get the vaccines while you still can, get
Speaker 1: your flu shots while you still can. Don't do nothing
Speaker 1: about white supremacy, and we will connect to you at tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Bite peace,