Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory spelling an iHeartRadio podcast. So summer is
Speaker 1: in full swing. Oh my gosh, it's like Sally sells
Speaker 1: seashells by the seashore. That's a lot, says, Oh okay,
Speaker 1: and hanging these in years. So just celebrate a fourth
Speaker 1: of July. I hope everyone had an amazing holiday. I
Speaker 1: gotta say, all I wanted was for my kids to
Speaker 1: be out of school because I'm not a morning person. Obviously,
Speaker 1: you have to get up every morning, h take them
Speaker 1: to school, you know, do all that, the drop offs.
Speaker 1: It's but it's not my thing. I've never been a
Speaker 1: morning person. Worked my whole life, so I always had
Speaker 1: to be on set early. But oh gosh, back in
Speaker 1: the day, if I could sleep in, I would sleep
Speaker 1: in like till twelve one o'clock. Oh those were the days.
Speaker 1: So I was so excited. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: going to be great summer, summer. Summer. So they sleep late,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm just on duty all day long,
Speaker 1: and as they're getting older, it's not getting any easier.
Speaker 1: So I don't know about you guys, if you have
Speaker 1: kids home for the summer, and I know all of
Speaker 1: smart people out there sent their kids to camp or
Speaker 1: something with them. My kids are home and they're like,
Speaker 1: ntain us, entertain us, entertain yourselves. But I just feel
Speaker 1: like I'm basically twenty four to seven snack bitch. That's
Speaker 1: what I am. I am a glorified snack bitch, not
Speaker 1: even proud of it, like self professed snack bitch. But
Speaker 1: the kids during summer eat all day long. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying they're eating unhealthy or anything, but they're hungry, you know.
Speaker 1: They're like out, they're moving, they're cool, they're running around,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Can I have
Speaker 1: a snack? And I have a snack? Like, yeah, the
Speaker 1: refrigerators are right there, go for it, Panther on the
Speaker 1: other side, cool, No, I go and do it for
Speaker 1: them allrgedly. And then they got into water balloons. I
Speaker 1: never knew that these little cute packets called bunch of balloons.
Speaker 1: I was like, look, cute, fun, fun, I love fun stuff.
Speaker 1: Sound like a big hit at heart would be the
Speaker 1: bane of my existence. This summer water balloon's brilliant idea.
Speaker 1: I mean, when we were young, would we do We
Speaker 1: took balloons, but on the hose, blew them up, then
Speaker 1: they pop. Now they actually market them as water balloons,
Speaker 1: bunch balloons. I think it's coming called zero makes them zero.
Speaker 1: I'd like to have a word with you privately sometimes
Speaker 1: because you have made slash ruined my life. But they
Speaker 1: get everywhere, so and they go through like hundreds, hundreds
Speaker 1: and seconds. So you get a packet and on the
Speaker 1: front it's like, I'm not kidding, it'll be like two
Speaker 1: hundred four hundred, and you're like, yes, afternoon is said
Speaker 1: of entertainment. And then within seconds they take these little balloons,
Speaker 1: they attach them to the hose, they blow up. They
Speaker 1: then tie them or they tie themselves off and they
Speaker 1: throw them at each other. And there's little shelves of
Speaker 1: balloons left everywhere. It's like little pieces of like colored
Speaker 1: condoms everywhere. It's I cannot and the kids, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you have to clean these up. He do, but you know,
Speaker 1: kids cleaning stuff up is like not really kids cleaning
Speaker 1: stuff up. So they're like, well, we got it out
Speaker 1: of the pool. I'm like, well, let's just start. But
Speaker 1: there's little tiny pieces everywhere. So my suggestion because I
Speaker 1: have to go around and I got these nails and
Speaker 1: pick up each little piece of Ryde balloon and then
Speaker 1: throw them away. Is I would like to make me
Speaker 1: a flea to a bunch of balloons zero. I think
Speaker 1: the company is to do like a pack of neutrals,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, Kim Kardashian's made a huge brand
Speaker 1: off of it with skims, right, neutrals, everything in neutrals.
Speaker 1: A bunch of balloons should be in neutrals. I'm like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can handle that, because then it's like into your pavements,
Speaker 1: so it's concrete. It's like you know, beige's and rays
Speaker 1: and like all shades of it, just the whole spectrum
Speaker 1: of it. I'd be okay with that. I'd be fine.
Speaker 1: And then they could have one so let's say you
Speaker 1: have a lawn, you could have like the green spectrum,
Speaker 1: so it'd be like, you know, all different colors of green.
Speaker 1: One thing I did notice, though, is my boy, my
Speaker 1: seven year old bo very smart kid. He said to me,
Speaker 1: we got we got the festive black. It was a
Speaker 1: new one out for summer. Kinks to her really festive colors.
Speaker 1: He goes, Mom, have you noticed they have some new
Speaker 1: colors in this one? I said, Oh, is that is
Speaker 1: that true, and he goes, yes, they've added cyan. I'm
Speaker 1: not ashamed. I knew the word obviously, I had to
Speaker 1: look it up. I had to google that shit cyan.
Speaker 1: See why an. It's a shade of blue, almost like
Speaker 1: a teal between blue and green. Very pretty. And he
Speaker 1: was correct there was cyan in there. So that was
Speaker 1: my fourth of July basically running around cleaning those up.
Speaker 1: And then the morning of fourth of July, I had
Speaker 1: gotten up early and I left the door unlocked because
Speaker 1: my best friend Jess was coming over with her family,
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, you know, just whenever you guys
Speaker 1: get here, She's like, we'll be there in the morning,
Speaker 1: you know, come on in. The doors un locked. Well,
Speaker 1: our dog, Manty, figured out how to get the front
Speaker 1: door open. Now, Monty's a sneaky He's a sneaky I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. He he he gets out of anywhere.
Speaker 1: This is a dog that I mean. If you were
Speaker 1: in an escape room, you'd want this dog with you.
Speaker 1: That was a bad reference. If you were locked in
Speaker 1: a box, you'd want this dog with you. Worst reference.
Speaker 1: We can get out of anything, rates Schollars. He's a magician.
Speaker 1: Magical manty. But we now live in a house where
Speaker 1: it's a steel door. You guys, it's steel. There is
Speaker 1: no way he could chew out of it. He could
Speaker 1: pry it open. This dog found a way to stand up,
Speaker 1: push the latch of the steel door inward, open it
Speaker 1: and get out. I mean, America's got talent. Monty David
Speaker 1: Copperfield pull Monty. Yeah, he got out, and a woman
Speaker 1: brought him back. And all of a sudden, I hear hello, Hello, Hello,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what's that. It doesn't sound like Jess, Jess,
Speaker 1: Jess Hello. And then I hear someone coming up the stairs.
Speaker 1: This woman comes into our bedroom and she's like and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. And she's like, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: I could I think there were dead bodies in here?
Speaker 1: Like what what are you talking about? And she goes,
Speaker 1: I came and I didn't hear anyone and the house
Speaker 1: he's referring to, how messy and organize my houses. The
Speaker 1: thing died and been in here and there were dead bodies.
Speaker 1: Why she went immediately to dead bodies, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, yeah, we just moved two
Speaker 1: months ago. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just I'm a hoarder. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: it didn't get better. But she stood there and she
Speaker 1: was like, your dog was out. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, my friends are coming over, and she goes, oh.
Speaker 1: I was just so worried about him. I was so concerned,
Speaker 1: and then I just pushed and like the door just
Speaker 1: came open, and I was like, yeah, I know, I
Speaker 1: know that's a thing anyway, So I would have offered
Speaker 1: her a red Bull, sugar free red Bull, but it
Speaker 1: was my lust one. So I'll just say goodbye and
Speaker 1: think dr and center on her way. So my summer's
Speaker 1: growing up were pretty different than the summers my kids
Speaker 1: and I have. I would say, yeah, so my dad
Speaker 1: didn't fly. People always think like, oh my gosh, you
Speaker 1: grew up parent's Spelling's daughter. You guys were so wealthy,
Speaker 1: like you must have just taken these lavish trips around
Speaker 1: the world, and I'm like, they were lavish. They weren't
Speaker 1: around the world though. So every summer growing up we
Speaker 1: would go to Vegas Rando. I know, keep in mind,
Speaker 1: you guys Vegas super kid friendly now, like I'm talking
Speaker 1: about you know, like the eighties, you guys, like it
Speaker 1: was not kid friendly. But we would. I mean, I
Speaker 1: feel like the only thing they had there that was
Speaker 1: kid friendly was Circus Circus. Even that was borderline, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, But there was Yeah, there was
Speaker 1: nothing for kids to do because it wasn't kid place,
Speaker 1: you know. But we would go every summer because we
Speaker 1: could drive and my dad didn't fly. So we would
Speaker 1: go to Vegas and we would go to a iconic
Speaker 1: historical landmark of a Vegas hotel that you know, the
Speaker 1: rat Pack went to. It was called Desert Inn. It
Speaker 1: is unfortunately not there any longer, but we would always
Speaker 1: get We would get like the Penthouse and there were
Speaker 1: two Penthouse suites and it was this beautiful, amazing high
Speaker 1: end resort and we would have the Penthouse suite and
Speaker 1: we would like literally we would go in. This is
Speaker 1: interesting because we would go in an RV. Huh, and
Speaker 1: you know, we would like watch movies in the back.
Speaker 1: And you know, my parents didn't drive. My mom actually flew,
Speaker 1: she was she would fly there and us there and
Speaker 1: my dad and our nanny and my brother and security
Speaker 1: and assistant. We would all be in the RV and
Speaker 1: you know, it's like a five hour drive. It was
Speaker 1: super fun, super exciting, and we would get there and
Speaker 1: we would stay for like a month, literally stay in
Speaker 1: Vegas for a month, and we would travel with because
Speaker 1: my godfather was Dean Martin and my dad was best
Speaker 1: friends with Sammy Davis Junior, the whole gang, so we
Speaker 1: would always kind of coordinate it when they were also
Speaker 1: performing in Vegas and would have like what I guess
Speaker 1: you guys would now call a residency. I think it
Speaker 1: wasn't called that then, but it would be their performing
Speaker 1: and Sammy Davis Junior and his wife Paltavi's and their
Speaker 1: kids and family grandkids, like, they would all come and
Speaker 1: we would have the whole floor and we would be
Speaker 1: half and they would be half, so we could go
Speaker 1: like in and out and Uncle Sammy would be playing
Speaker 1: and we would get to go and it was super
Speaker 1: exciting to get to see his show and we would
Speaker 1: hang out and we would go to the pool. But
Speaker 1: my mom always was worried that, like my dad also
Speaker 1: sorry miss whole Point, also was filming a show called
Speaker 1: Vegas that they also filmed at the Desert in and
Speaker 1: so my dad was a workaholic, so you know, it
Speaker 1: was like a twofer forum, right, he got to be
Speaker 1: there and be present to produce a show, and he
Speaker 1: also got to have family vacation. So my mom was
Speaker 1: always like, Okay, I gotta find stuff for the kids
Speaker 1: to do. So one night she was like, literally, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, you guys, sorry, there was like yellow pages
Speaker 1: back then. I'm really dating myself here. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: When you were young, they didn't even have booster seats
Speaker 1: and restaurants they would like bring out stacks of yellow
Speaker 1: Pages for kids to sit on in the booths. So
Speaker 1: my mom would try to find things for us to do,
Speaker 1: and she would look into the yellow Pages and she
Speaker 1: would like have like notes of like Okay, I have
Speaker 1: to call here and do this. So she found a
Speaker 1: place called the Chicken Ranch, and she was super excited
Speaker 1: because we loved animals, and she was like, oh, this
Speaker 1: will be a great like daytime thing like Aaron filming
Speaker 1: my dad. And she's like, I can take the kids
Speaker 1: and go to the chicken Ranch. So she called and
Speaker 1: this woman's like hello, and she's like, Hi, I'm just
Speaker 1: calling to inquire about your chicken ranch. And I was
Speaker 1: thinking of bringing my children tomorrow and the woman was like,
Speaker 1: oh honey. She goes, hmmm, I don't think this is
Speaker 1: a place for children. So anyway, it's basically it was
Speaker 1: a whorehouse. Did you guys know that they used to
Speaker 1: call it a chicken ranch? I did coorehouse. No, that's
Speaker 1: not right. I'm Jolly Parton. Wait and Burt Reynolds Fessel
Speaker 1: whorehouse in Texas. Oh yeah, so it was like one
Speaker 1: of those was a brothel. What do they call them?
Speaker 1: A house of ill repute? Ooh, you sound smart. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'd like to try to say that. So it was
Speaker 1: the house of ill repute for pute ill repute. Anyway,
Speaker 1: they were laying there, but not eggs. So it was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: so we didn't go to the chicken ranch. Imagine my
Speaker 1: mom loves to still tell that story. Like imagine if
Speaker 1: she hadn't called and just like showed up, We're like
Speaker 1: we're here. We're like pull up and are like extend
Speaker 1: it long like White Limo from the eighties, and we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: here we go. So that one didn't work out, but
Speaker 1: she was always like trying to find fun stuff for
Speaker 1: us to do. And it was really cool because I
Speaker 1: remember one of those days when I was young and
Speaker 1: Uncle Sammy Davis Junior, he had his show that night,
Speaker 1: and he was like, you're here, I want to show
Speaker 1: you something. So he took me and he had this
Speaker 1: giant suitcase because he would bring this for his fans,
Speaker 1: and he had all of his like original old tap
Speaker 1: because he would tap dance, So the taps he would
Speaker 1: have them, and once they were used, he would always
Speaker 1: keep them. He notoriously like kept them and he would
Speaker 1: have them put on bolo ties. Yeah, and he gave
Speaker 1: me one and he was like, you know, we've kind
Speaker 1: of made new ones to give you know, as I
Speaker 1: guess merch back then, but he had the original one
Speaker 1: that was the sample to meet them, and he gave
Speaker 1: it to me. It was something that was really really
Speaker 1: spiritual to me that I had had my entire life
Speaker 1: until he passed away. And when he passed away, my
Speaker 1: dad was really sad because he had lost his best friend.
Speaker 1: And I went to my drawer in my room where
Speaker 1: I kept it, and I gave it to my dad.
Speaker 1: My dad passed. Now I don't know where that is.
Speaker 1: I should find that. And then Phyllis Diller, who was
Speaker 1: a ginormous comedian back in the day. First of all,
Speaker 1: she would super funny, super kooky, I feel like she
Speaker 1: like Maribou, Like she would wear it on her head
Speaker 1: and like she like I don't know, she just had
Speaker 1: crazy style. But I don't even know. It's probably not
Speaker 1: a little known fact. She was like one of the guys,
Speaker 1: like there was the rat Pack and then like Philip Stiller,
Speaker 1: like hung she was like the girl. She was like
Speaker 1: a chick. Like they loved her and she would just
Speaker 1: like always be with them and be like like super cool.
Speaker 1: So she would have like these like really cool dinner
Speaker 1: parties in Vegas. It was like kind of like Palm Springs,
Speaker 1: like that's what her house looked like, like very it
Speaker 1: was very cool, and I got to go and see
Speaker 1: it from the sidelines. I think that's why a lot
Speaker 1: of the way she was influenced me to be able
Speaker 1: to be funny and you'd be smart and be loud
Speaker 1: and still be cute. And I look back and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: she was around like her like she was around like
Speaker 1: some mega men, you know, like mega iconic mail, power
Speaker 1: and energy, and she like brought it. So I have
Speaker 1: so many Vegas memories of my childhood that oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: and then I have stories, Oh gosh, I have a
Speaker 1: lot of summer stories growing up. So we're gonna have
Speaker 1: to make this a part two, part three, part four.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there could be like twenty that. These
Speaker 1: are some cold stories. Anyway, So Sigfried and Roy. We
Speaker 1: got to go to see Sigfrey and Roy at the
Speaker 1: time the biggest like magician duo in the world. No
Speaker 1: in Vegas. They were like very out there, correct, like
Speaker 1: they were partners in real life, which I think people
Speaker 1: didn't know it first, but because it was the eighties,
Speaker 1: like it was kind of like and I feel like
Speaker 1: they were flashy but still like trying to like, oh
Speaker 1: woo the women in the crowd, you know, so it
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, those tans. They had some
Speaker 1: great tans. There was the Blotten one, the Brunette one,
Speaker 1: Roy which one was Roy Brunette. Correct. Anyway, got to
Speaker 1: see the show like everybody else. Very cool. But then
Speaker 1: they said to my dad, oh, you should bring the
Speaker 1: kids over this weekend, and we were like cool, but
Speaker 1: not you guys. No one can appreciate this shit. When
Speaker 1: you're like, you know, eight ten, like you're like cool, great, okay,
Speaker 1: guess I'll go whatever, And then you look back and
Speaker 1: you're like oh my god, like no, and you look
Speaker 1: back you're like wow, like falls. I went to Stick
Speaker 1: Freedom Roy's house, like I got a tour. I got
Speaker 1: to go behind the scenes, to go into pool with them.
Speaker 1: They took the tigers and lions and tigers and bears
Speaker 1: were no bears. It just went with it in the
Speaker 1: pool and to do all that stuff. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: wait what one got eaten by the tiger? Raid? Attacked, attacked,
Speaker 1: not eaten. That sounded more Dreman. There were some good
Speaker 1: looking men. It was you know what it was. It
Speaker 1: was like David Copperfield mixed with like magic Mic mixed
Speaker 1: with like Freddie Mercury. It was like wild. Their whole
Speaker 1: appearance thing did I kind of put that all together
Speaker 1: and they were just like true entertainers, which was really
Speaker 1: cool anyway. So yeah, I got to go to uh
Speaker 1: their house and see the behind the scenes and go
Speaker 1: in the pool with Sayfree and Roy and their animals.
Speaker 1: Did you do an episode of Vegas while you were there?
Speaker 1: I did so. My very first appearance on camera was
Speaker 1: on my dad's show Vegas, and it did happen while
Speaker 1: we were there. One summer I was five and I
Speaker 1: got Robert Errick. I got to be like Uncle Dan,
Speaker 1: and I think I even did that Hi Uncle Dan.
Speaker 1: I just went like the aw shucks move anyway. I
Speaker 1: was really nervous and like all dolled up and like
Speaker 1: ready to go. And they were like, okay, when we
Speaker 1: call it action, you know, you just walk through the
Speaker 1: door and go hi Uncle Dan. And I walked through
Speaker 1: the door and I went Uncle Dan and they were like,
Speaker 1: but wow, that was great. And my dad came over
Speaker 1: and he's like, he used to call me Toto because
Speaker 1: when I was little, I couldn't say toy, so he'd
Speaker 1: be like, what's your name? I would go Toto. So
Speaker 1: he always called me Toto. And now when I tell
Speaker 1: people that, they're like total, like the band, total, like
Speaker 1: the dog, and I'm like, thanks, snow ho toe to
Speaker 1: o t o capital T lowercase oh, capital T lowercase oh.
Speaker 1: So he'd be like, Toto, that wasn't just perfect, that
Speaker 1: was plu perfect. And that became a running thing with
Speaker 1: my dad and I that whenever I had, you know,
Speaker 1: auditions or anything throughout my you know, young career, and
Speaker 1: he would read with me. He'd be like, we'd go
Speaker 1: through it and then he'd give me direction, we read
Speaker 1: it again and he would be like, that was plu perfect.
Speaker 1: Or when I was doing a play. I did a
Speaker 1: lot of theater in school, I was a plu perfect
Speaker 1: when he would see a performance, and that was like.
Speaker 1: Even I, being his daughter, knew he was like mega,
Speaker 1: and I was like wow. I just thought it was
Speaker 1: the seal of approval. Maybe it wasn't because he was mega,
Speaker 1: because he was just my dad, and it just felt
Speaker 1: really good that he enjoyed my performance. I think it
Speaker 1: was that, but I knew it was a big deal. Anyway.
Speaker 1: He was like one take toy. So that became thing.
Speaker 1: One take toy. So now even when I film stuff,
Speaker 1: I have that in my head and I'm like, get
Speaker 1: it on the first taken, on the first take, you know,
Speaker 1: because I'm very competitive and I'm like I got to
Speaker 1: show my own self up. And I'm like yeah. And
Speaker 1: so if I do one take and you know, the
Speaker 1: director's like, yes, we got it, I'm like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: sure did one take Tory. I say that in my head,
Speaker 1: I would never say it out loud because I have
Speaker 1: no confidence. So yeah, that was my first appearance on
Speaker 1: screen in Vegas. So then my mom like always wanted
Speaker 1: us to have not just things to do during the day,
Speaker 1: but also in the evening as well. So at the time,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's still the same because now
Speaker 1: it's more family friendly. Shows. They would always, like at
Speaker 1: different hotels, would have acts, and they'd have different types
Speaker 1: of shows, and they would have like, you know, the
Speaker 1: seven pm show and the nine pm show. So it
Speaker 1: would be in Vegas, they would have like variety shows
Speaker 1: and it would be like, you know, a magician would
Speaker 1: come out, and then they would have like an animal
Speaker 1: act with like performing poodles on stools, and then you know,
Speaker 1: like you know, different things and in between, and then
Speaker 1: like a music act. But in between they would always
Speaker 1: have the dancers come out and do their like showgirl,
Speaker 1: like her name is Lola, She's a showgirl, you know
Speaker 1: that thing and that I was fascinated. But the difference
Speaker 1: between the seven pm show and the nine pm show
Speaker 1: is they are fully covered for like the seven pm
Speaker 1: show and family can come, and then the nine pm
Speaker 1: show they're hopless. So at nighttime, my parents would go
Speaker 1: out and do their thing, but they would send us
Speaker 1: to these shows and would go with our nanny and
Speaker 1: the driver. They were really fun, but it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, you get your two dreams. And I remember
Speaker 1: I was introduced to Pink Lady's Virgin of course, which
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know, it's like the pink drink
Speaker 1: now at Starbucks Hello, But it was like in the eighties,
Speaker 1: so basically, and I'm not sure what the alcoholic version
Speaker 1: has in it, but it would be blended with marachino
Speaker 1: cherry on top and you get too and you get
Speaker 1: it throughout the show and then they come around and
Speaker 1: they would always take like the family photo at your
Speaker 1: big like it was old school, like red leather boots
Speaker 1: and all these hotels in the showrooms, showrooms, theaters, whatever,
Speaker 1: and I have I just found them the other day.
Speaker 1: I have no joke because they make like they would make.
Speaker 1: It would be like Caesar's Palace and you open it
Speaker 1: up and it's like almost like driver's license size, you know,
Speaker 1: pictures insides like a little thing you unfold. And I
Speaker 1: found one from every single hotel and it's like a
Speaker 1: family photo me, my brother, our nanny, my parents, driver
Speaker 1: and security guard. We're like geez, no, think says rich
Speaker 1: kids like this from every defunct hotel, like they're all
Speaker 1: gone now. But so anyway, but I do remember going
Speaker 1: one time there was some screw up and we went
Speaker 1: and somehow we were in the topless show and I
Speaker 1: was just I mean, I was blown. I was obsessed.
Speaker 1: Like I was just like whoopies whoa like it was
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I just I just remember my nanny
Speaker 1: being like, oh, well we're here. You know, she'd probably
Speaker 1: like already had like her like second whiskey se hour
Speaker 1: or something, and she was like shu. But that was
Speaker 1: a fun experience. And I was like, when I'm mint
Speaker 1: a half boobs like that, they're gonna be botched up
Speaker 1: and done. The strom should be thought the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Could I didn't get into the seven PM show, have
Speaker 1: got my og tips. And then one summer in Vegas,
Speaker 1: we would be at the Desert inn That's where we
Speaker 1: stayed every summer, and we would get to like walk
Speaker 1: the lakes and they had this expansive property with you know,
Speaker 1: golf and beautiful full property. And I remember one day
Speaker 1: that all of like the pool boys. Can you say
Speaker 1: that pool boys cabana boys cool hotties? I don't know.
Speaker 1: They were always so cute and like in college and
Speaker 1: you'd be like so cute. So one day we had
Speaker 1: just gotten there and they were like, welcome to expelling family,
Speaker 1: and we're like, hey, we haven't seen you since last summer.
Speaker 1: And I was a year older and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it doesn't think I'm cute now. I was six and
Speaker 1: then I'm just kidding. No, I feel like I was
Speaker 1: like ten when this happened, this experience. He was like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you want to see something? And he showed me.
Speaker 1: They had a box full of duck and he was like,
Speaker 1: look with all these old baby ducks and I guess
Speaker 1: the mom had somehow abandoned these old baby ducks. And
Speaker 1: they had all these little fuzzy ducklings in a box
Speaker 1: and they were like, oh, you know, we're gonna call someone.
Speaker 1: They're gonna come and get them. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I love them. And so I was
Speaker 1: holding one and he was like, wink wang, you can
Speaker 1: take one if you want, and I was like can.
Speaker 1: I I mean we were there for a month, so
Speaker 1: it wasn't like I was gonna, you know, just have
Speaker 1: it for the night or something. So I took a
Speaker 1: baby duckling and I snuck it up to our penthouse
Speaker 1: suite and I had it in our bathtub. So by
Speaker 1: like the second day and my parents found out and
Speaker 1: they were cool about it, and by the second day
Speaker 1: that duck was following me all over. But then a
Speaker 1: month then we had to go home. But I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, gosh, we have to take my duck
Speaker 1: home with us, and my parents decided that was not
Speaker 1: the right thing to do, and so I was devastated
Speaker 1: and really sad. And the day we were leaving, I
Speaker 1: had to go and put the duck back in, which
Speaker 1: they encouraged that because they said there's other ducks here
Speaker 1: and it'll make friends and it has this great lifestyle
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, it totally does. I mean
Speaker 1: being back at the manor and bell Air would have
Speaker 1: been a great lifestyle too. Anyway, so we went to
Speaker 1: do the drop off, so I say goodbye and I'm
Speaker 1: crying and I'm like, oh, always love you, and put
Speaker 1: the duck into the pond, and then we were told, like,
Speaker 1: you have to like walk away because the one follow right,
Speaker 1: So we put her in the pond like the man
Speaker 1: made water form on this property and ran, like every
Speaker 1: good mother does, like why sea, So ran and hid
Speaker 1: behind a tree and this duck was like all over
Speaker 1: the pond and I was just gutted. So then we
Speaker 1: walked the way around and it was like, okay, you
Speaker 1: know those movies in slow motion, like an end where
Speaker 1: they find each other again and they like run and
Speaker 1: they're like running through New York City through the subway
Speaker 1: or like you know, and it's just like, yes, we're
Speaker 1: meant to be together, and they slow mow it so
Speaker 1: way across and it was ginormous. She saw me and
Speaker 1: she was at the other end, and this little thing
Speaker 1: she goes and she height failed it. I think her
Speaker 1: like little legs were like out of the water across
Speaker 1: the pond and she found me, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Yeah, let's end my story. I had
Speaker 1: to lever. It wouldn't let me take her home. And
Speaker 1: then the next summer when we came back, I was
Speaker 1: looking at every adult duck and the ones that didn't
Speaker 1: have kids because she probably abandonment issues, and was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not having kids after this experience. But I never
Speaker 1: saw her again, but I'm sure she had a very nice,
Speaker 1: nice life. Yeah. I had a lot of experiences in Vegas,
Speaker 1: but I had a first, very momentous experience in Vegas
Speaker 1: that I'll never quite forget. So when I was fourteen,
Speaker 1: I got my period for the first time in Vegas.
Speaker 1: And I was there during the summer and all my
Speaker 1: friends had gotten their period, and I was like, oh gosh.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I guess I'm a light blumer.
Speaker 1: And then uh, I got it and my mom was like,
Speaker 1: have some, you know, and I was like not awesome,
Speaker 1: Like we're gonna go to the pool, like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: like I had. And I had the cutest teeniest bikini,
Speaker 1: teeny weeny bikini. Because I was like super smart, I
Speaker 1: would take my bathing suits. Maybe it wasn't smart obviously,
Speaker 1: I'm just a hoarder and never give it anything away.
Speaker 1: So I would have my bathing suits like leftover from
Speaker 1: when I was like nine ten. And then when you're fourteen,
Speaker 1: you're starting to fill out and everything and your parents
Speaker 1: won't get you like a bikini. That's like you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to hang with my friends and like dress
Speaker 1: like this now. So I would just wear like a tiny,
Speaker 1: tiny bikini. So I had it all picked out. My
Speaker 1: friend went with us to Vegas. It was gold. It
Speaker 1: was phenomenal. Oh, God, I love good mentalic. And we
Speaker 1: were all prepped for the pool and then it came
Speaker 1: so I got my period. My mom's like great. And
Speaker 1: then the next thing I knew, like my dad came
Speaker 1: in and I could still visualize like in it was
Speaker 1: like double beds and like in our room and I
Speaker 1: had a friend there and she was like okay, ready
Speaker 1: to go to the pool. And I was like what
Speaker 1: am I going to do? And my dad came in.
Speaker 1: He was like big hugs. Mom told me the good news.
Speaker 1: You're a woman today, and I was like, Dad, oh my,
Speaker 1: that's so embarrassing. Thank you. But I prefer to be
Speaker 1: called a girl. Still to this day, I like to
Speaker 1: be called a girl. Don't ever call me a woman.
Speaker 1: It's a choice anyway. So when that happened, my mom
Speaker 1: was like, okay, we have to get you something. We
Speaker 1: have to get you, you know, feminine products for this.
Speaker 1: And I was like okay. My friend was like, oh great,
Speaker 1: you know we're a tampon. You could still go to
Speaker 1: the pool, Like I don't know if you can go
Speaker 1: in the pool like whatever, but you can go down
Speaker 1: lay by the pool. And so I said to my mom, Okay,
Speaker 1: so we will get tampons. You'll teach me how to
Speaker 1: use a tampon. And my mom was like, oh no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no tampons. And I was like, oh, what do I do?
Speaker 1: And I was like a prac oh and then she
Speaker 1: was like she was like, well I had when I
Speaker 1: was a girl. This happened and my mom got this
Speaker 1: for me, a belt, And I was like, what, what's
Speaker 1: a belt? I'm not kidding you, guys. I don't even
Speaker 1: know if they make this anymore. It was like archaic
Speaker 1: even like when my mom recommended it. But it's basically
Speaker 1: like a snap on, Like it's like a snap on
Speaker 1: elastic belt that you wear around your waist and it
Speaker 1: holds the pad. I mean, and it's not just a pad,
Speaker 1: it's like a MerCad. I mean. It was like the
Speaker 1: fluffiest thing I've ever seen. It was like, shoot, it
Speaker 1: was a diaper. It was a goddamn fucking diaper. It
Speaker 1: was a motherfucking diaper. I was wearing a diaper around
Speaker 1: my waist and it was, yeah, an elastic band. It
Speaker 1: was like you couldn't cover it up. The oddest part
Speaker 1: is I don't even know how she found it, but
Speaker 1: she sent her driver out to scour for what, I
Speaker 1: don't know, pharmacies, drugstores, like it was a mail driver.
Speaker 1: Ceminine diaper with a strap on belt did sound good
Speaker 1: anyway you put me. But he found it. He found it,
Speaker 1: like this is something my mom had when she was
Speaker 1: a you know, a teen, and like her mom recommended it.
Speaker 1: Like I don't even know how at my age at fourteen,
Speaker 1: even in the eighties, like they even meet these still,
Speaker 1: But he found it, and he got it and brought
Speaker 1: it back and I was just wearing it. My friend
Speaker 1: was like hysterically laughing at me, and I was hysterically
Speaker 1: crying because I was like, oh my god, what am
Speaker 1: I gonna do? It didn't matter if I even turned
Speaker 1: that damn bathing suit around and had like the butt
Speaker 1: part in the front. You couldn't cover this thing. And
Speaker 1: it looked like I had a penis, Like it was
Speaker 1: like a ginormous I was packing some meat and balls
Speaker 1: down there. And then I had like this big slip
Speaker 1: on thing around my waist, almost like a chastity belt
Speaker 1: but for teens with her period, Like oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I mean it's actually a good tool because like no
Speaker 1: guy would ever want to go near a girl wearing that,
Speaker 1: so like anyway to put this on? And then I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I can't go to the pool in this.
Speaker 1: I can't go anywhere in this. I can't even move
Speaker 1: in this was it was a good it was a
Speaker 1: good cushion. It was like, all right, it was a diaper.
Speaker 1: And so my friend went to the pool with the
Speaker 1: rest of my family and I couldn't go down to
Speaker 1: the pool. In fact, I couldn't wear anything. Couldn't or
Speaker 1: shorts like I think, I like put on head to
Speaker 1: chose sweats and it was like one hundred and twenty
Speaker 1: degrees out to cover this belted cad starctic belted pad.
Speaker 1: But it was It did turn into a really really
Speaker 1: amazing day because the hotel. Now at this time I
Speaker 1: was older and we were staying at MGM Grand and
Speaker 1: they had a little movie theater inside, like this old
Speaker 1: fashioned movie theater that only showed black and white films.
Speaker 1: And my mom was like, okay, well, they're all at
Speaker 1: the pool and and you're decked in your like it's
Speaker 1: like a padded suit. Like she was like, let's stay
Speaker 1: in the air and do something. I was like, the god,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing sweats, and she took me to the movie
Speaker 1: there and the movie. I'll never forget this because I
Speaker 1: was fourteen and she took me to a black and
Speaker 1: white movie and it was the movie Gaslighting. Yep. Not
Speaker 1: only that day did I get like the fear of
Speaker 1: ever getting my period again, but I also got a
Speaker 1: new fear of being gas lits. So yeah, pads and gaslighting.
Speaker 1: What a fun Vegas experience. But I'll never forget it.
Speaker 1: I didn't go in the pool for like a week. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I got clever, so I would sneak into my parents'
Speaker 1: room and take my dad's razor and I would uh
Speaker 1: di y my padded belt, so I would like shave
Speaker 1: the pad down, and then you know they forgot about it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, then and then I would just like stick
Speaker 1: wats of twitter paper up there and call it a
Speaker 1: day and be like, pool down, let's go. Never forget that.
Speaker 1: My dad was like, congratulations, you're a woman today. That
Speaker 1: I had a diper on for seven days. And so
Speaker 1: as they say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Speaker 1: But hey, at least I can now chant Donna Martin
Speaker 1: men Streets Vegas. Baby,