Speaker 1: I have a show announcement. I'm doing an online stand
Speaker 1: up show with a one on one meet and great
Speaker 1: to follow. It'll be performed at night Light Studios on
Speaker 1: October eighth at seven pm Pacific Standard time. Early bird
Speaker 1: tickets can be purchased for ten bucks today through September
Speaker 1: thirtieth at Nightlight dot TV. That's Nightlight dot TV. Thank you, I.
Speaker 2: Leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 2: we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much.
Speaker 1: Baggage you claim.
Speaker 4: Give us time and a turning on Gaye.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off in stall.
Speaker 3: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it. We scared? Or was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need.
Speaker 2: With?
Speaker 1: Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: This is Chris.
Speaker 3: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 1: It's uh, what a what a day of news?
Speaker 6: Oh we're in Chris, would you say that we are
Speaker 6: in a news cycle right now? That we're amidst a
Speaker 6: news cycle?
Speaker 1: Very much so of course, the big one. Rick Morani
Speaker 1: is getting punched.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, what kind of a monster. I don't
Speaker 6: see these precious Rick moranis on the street.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not going to say he doesn't have
Speaker 1: a punchable face, but I am going to say, whoever
Speaker 1: did that has never seen Ghostbusters?
Speaker 3: Right? Or honey, I shrunk the kids or SCTV right,
Speaker 3: I'm SCTV.
Speaker 1: That's a big one. Yeah, honey, I shrunk the kids.
Speaker 1: If that's all you had seen, though, I.
Speaker 6: Kind of maybe maybe if you're like an angry old babysitter,
Speaker 6: if you something traumatic happened while that was on the
Speaker 6: TV while the kids are asleep upstairs, I get it.
Speaker 1: And it would explain why the guy right before he
Speaker 1: did it, he yelled, I don't want to get.
Speaker 3: Shrunk, no daddy, uh.
Speaker 6: I Just for everyone who's learning about this while we
Speaker 6: make jokes about it, Just so you know, Rick Moranas
Speaker 6: was already quoted in some article as saying, I'm fine,
Speaker 6: so you don't be afraid for him. He doesn't seem
Speaker 6: to want you to be afraid for him. Everyone's upset anyway, exactly.
Speaker 1: I would not be making light of it if he
Speaker 1: if it had even landed on his face. He was
Speaker 1: punched in the head. So this guy, oh is that true? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that he probably hurt his hand. But then I
Speaker 1: watched the video. Someone slowed it down. It's just a
Speaker 1: guy in an iHeart New York sweatshirt, which maybe makes
Speaker 1: me think he's from out of town, and he was
Speaker 1: walking with his hands in the sweatshirt pockets. Can just
Speaker 1: stopped and punched a man and then nonchalantly walked away
Speaker 1: so slowly that it's creepy. I think he got punched
Speaker 1: by a ghost.
Speaker 3: That's horrifying. Also, it's the kind of thing.
Speaker 6: It's like what as a child and growing up like
Speaker 6: five miles out in the country with no street lights.
Speaker 6: That was my fear of what city life was like.
Speaker 6: That you would just that if you moved to the city,
Speaker 6: you're basically volunteering to get punched in the face, like
Speaker 6: maybe once a month.
Speaker 1: That's just kind of part of city living, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is always what I thought. I mean, yeah, because
Speaker 1: that would happened in Montana. People would randomly punch you.
Speaker 1: At least Christ, do you need a headband or direct
Speaker 1: I'm tucking it, I got it. I go back and
Speaker 1: forth I gotta cut my hair. I almost did it,
Speaker 1: and then I didn't because it's like, why should I.
Speaker 1: But when it comes to just my comfort in general,
Speaker 1: what the hell am I doing?
Speaker 3: It's it's impacting your comfort now impacting my ability to podcast.
Speaker 1: That's my hairs reached that level where it's in my
Speaker 1: eyes and I lose my train of thought.
Speaker 6: As your podcasting partner, I have to ask you professionally.
Speaker 3: Please clip it, zip it or ticket or.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: See, that's why you're in this business. I'm gonna grip.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna grip it, and I'm gonna rip it for
Speaker 1: those that enjoy golf more than traffic safety. I uh yes,
Speaker 1: So I thought that in a city it just was
Speaker 1: ten times more unching, but with accents like New York accents.
Speaker 1: But anytime I've been in a city, all the rumors
Speaker 1: about New York, I guess some of them are true.
Speaker 1: With Los Angeles, but i'd see eye contact, I see
Speaker 1: people being friendly. I rarely see people getting punched. But
Speaker 1: in Montana it still happens. I think it's in small.
Speaker 6: See what the rumors about the cities are that I've
Speaker 6: heard so far. I've heard that New York is a
Speaker 6: bitch and Ella is a slut. I don't know what
Speaker 6: you've heard, but that's what people say behind their back
Speaker 6: in front of me.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's true. Yeah, true.
Speaker 1: I mean it's true enough to where I like that
Speaker 1: because I've never heard it before.
Speaker 3: What should that be our new merch.
Speaker 6: Ellie is a bitch, New York's a slut. No, it's
Speaker 6: the reverse, New York's the bitch, Ellie's slut.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, got come on, think it through.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, I gotta think. I got to apply
Speaker 1: my real life experience.
Speaker 6: Come on, in your mind, drive down Lebraa and see
Speaker 6: the J and J Bieber unrelated.
Speaker 1: LA unrelated And this is not I'm not asking for myself.
Speaker 1: Where are all these LA slots at? Oh they're not
Speaker 1: outside my apartment door. No, it's okay. It's me time
Speaker 1: learning about myself, discovering my own body so lonely.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm fine everything.
Speaker 6: Are you doing some body discovery? Some seventies hippie style
Speaker 6: body discovery? I today laid down a yoga mat with
Speaker 6: my therm arrest. I used to camp on it, and
Speaker 6: I laid those down and I did these butterfly stretches
Speaker 6: where you. You kind of sit a Native American style
Speaker 6: and put your knees down, Okay, cross legged, thank you.
Speaker 6: I was trying to make a joke, but it's probably
Speaker 6: a bad one anyway, a lot of groin I did
Speaker 6: do that today. It's the closest thing I've done to
Speaker 6: like Meta in a while.
Speaker 3: Was you basically did a couple of groin stretches.
Speaker 1: And I put on this back brace that adjusts my posture,
Speaker 1: and I did I lifted some weights and time to
Speaker 1: turn this life around. I'm just easing into it slowly
Speaker 1: because in Montana I did zero calisthenics are stretching. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just experienced life. But that's over, so time to
Speaker 1: sweat to the oldies inside. It's for real my purpose.
Speaker 6: I when I get up to walk to the kitchen
Speaker 6: to get myself another thing that I've decided I need. Yeah,
Speaker 6: like if there's if the window has been too long
Speaker 6: that I have not eaten, drank, done some ingestation of
Speaker 6: some kind, then I have to go.
Speaker 3: And when I get.
Speaker 6: Up and I when I'm walking to the kitchen, am
Speaker 6: so sore just for that like fifteen step walk.
Speaker 3: That's when I know it's I got to start gents,
Speaker 3: some stretches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's just something because you're right, we're looking
Speaker 1: for little rewards throughout the day, and I've used to
Speaker 1: That's the reason I used to have cigarettes. It's the
Speaker 1: reason I I did. I did for a while. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I kept it a secret, but up until we're in
Speaker 1: Manhattan Beach, I would leave to yeah, go to the
Speaker 1: surrounding areas and I would smoke there. I go to
Speaker 1: the beach, I would just snuff them out, toss them
Speaker 1: in the ocean, and then I come back to LA
Speaker 1: and like be like, oh, cigarettes are so grossy slots.
Speaker 3: They're disgusting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then oh man, if you ever saw me
Speaker 1: down at the beach after the other crushes camel crushes, cigarettes, yeah,
Speaker 1: slooting around right off the bat, I'd be like, this
Speaker 1: one's gonna be all menthol But I yeah, I stopped
Speaker 1: a long time ago, and I'm glad I did.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 1: But it's one of those reward things. And now now
Speaker 1: that we're locked up, yeah, I uh, you know, it's
Speaker 1: cookies and things like that. It's or just coffee, Like
Speaker 1: I'll make a pot of coffee for no fucking reason,
Speaker 1: and I'll drink it. As late as eight pm, because
Speaker 1: I've told myself I can sleep on coffee because of
Speaker 1: a nap I had three years ago after a cold brew.
Speaker 1: And now I'm like abusing every It's a stimulant and
Speaker 1: I just want it whatever it is.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 6: Now, do you find this because I am I've always
Speaker 6: been very dependent on coffee. I drink at least a
Speaker 6: pot in the morning, yep, and then throughout I'll definitely
Speaker 6: move into a second pot if say, we have a
Speaker 6: bunch of things to record or whatever's going on. But
Speaker 6: I don't think it actually agrees with me. I think
Speaker 6: it brings out the worst parts of my personality. It
Speaker 6: brings out the worst parts of my behavior issues that
Speaker 6: I have as comedian, which is I should always be talking.
Speaker 6: I'm very self righteously angry about things, right, and then
Speaker 6: those turn into like these kind of monologues right where
Speaker 6: it can't stop talking. You're right, it is. They're like
Speaker 6: it's like cocaine. Yeah, it is like cocaine. And I
Speaker 6: think get it like affects me that way, and I
Speaker 6: like it because of that. And I'm just looking like
Speaker 6: any other standard la slut. I'm just looking for a
Speaker 6: good time.
Speaker 3: I don't. I'm just in my house looking for an upswing,
Speaker 3: looking for a mood change, Like Netflix isn't doing it
Speaker 3: for me anymore?
Speaker 6: Right, No, and none of the regular cable channels are
Speaker 6: nothing is I know?
Speaker 1: I don't, well, you know me and how I'm dictated
Speaker 1: by Awards season.
Speaker 3: I just started watching Shit's Creek.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I waited, really the fan
Speaker 1: I am of waiting for Guffman and Best in Show
Speaker 1: and just Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara in general. But
Speaker 1: I when I first started watching it years ago, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Oh, they're rich and think they're better than everyone,
Speaker 1: and the kids are sarcastic and mean, and I didn't
Speaker 1: get it. And so I jumped ahead to like episode
Speaker 1: ten of season one, and I have not laughed that
Speaker 1: hard in a long time. And I can't stop watching
Speaker 1: it and I'm in.
Speaker 3: It's so good, you know. It reminds me. It's a
Speaker 3: little bit like a play. Are you watching it right now?
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 1: I'm on Murder Mystery season three, episode six, Turn not off,
Speaker 1: turn out? Oh, it's on that weight, just hold it
Speaker 1: watching TV. It's on mute. No, it's a screen saver,
Speaker 1: I'm not rude. Oh I think she got the role.
Speaker 1: I think she got the role. And the crows have eyes. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I will, I'll pause it, I'll pose it. No, you're right, you're.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: That show. I used to try to tell people it.
Speaker 6: The the first like say, five episodes. The pacing is
Speaker 6: a little bit slow, but it got people started hyping
Speaker 6: it so much immediately because it's really really good.
Speaker 3: But so then the people that this is like.
Speaker 6: To me a modern day and it's twitter, especially if
Speaker 6: I get if I read about a thing where all
Speaker 6: these people are like, you have to watch this, it's amazing.
Speaker 3: You have to.
Speaker 6: I have to take get the contrarian stance and go no,
Speaker 6: I won't even though I'm not talking to anybody and
Speaker 6: no one can hear me. Right, that's my internal I
Speaker 6: have to take a stand, and then later on I'll
Speaker 6: discover the thing I was resisting and be like, oh
Speaker 6: I needed this in my life three years. Why would
Speaker 6: I resist it? And none of it really makes sense
Speaker 6: except for this. I think it's very It's the contrarian
Speaker 6: kind of stand up comic.
Speaker 1: Yeah reaction. Oddly, I'm that way with music. I know
Speaker 1: all this music that I was. Everyone was listening to
Speaker 1: all that butt rock or whatever you want to call it,
Speaker 1: when I was enjoying my cure and my my, you know,
Speaker 1: my new wave stuff. Now I listen to it and
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is great. Why was I I don't
Speaker 1: know why I'm that way with music. I guess because
Speaker 1: of all my years playing trombone.
Speaker 3: You're a real trombone snob.
Speaker 1: Well, I've learned to be a bit of a music
Speaker 1: in general. You know, there's trombone and everything.
Speaker 6: And no, true, you're so right, especially Scott. Have you
Speaker 6: ever been in a ska band?
Speaker 1: No, but I did, uh hang out with one and
Speaker 1: even go on tour with them a bit because I'd
Speaker 1: done their t shirts and.
Speaker 3: What was it like to be in that van? And
Speaker 3: I did, Does that sound like a.
Speaker 1: Lot of we're not racist, but this is why we're skinheads? No,
Speaker 1: I don't know. They looked like skinheads and so I'd
Speaker 1: get in arguments with them, but they weren't.
Speaker 3: I think they were straighted.
Speaker 1: The style and it was also the style of that
Speaker 1: early English Like go to a show in the eighties
Speaker 1: of the Specials and you would it would look like
Speaker 1: a room full of proud boys, and.
Speaker 6: Yeah, those skinny suspenders will steer you wrong. You have
Speaker 6: the potential to either steer you wrong or really show
Speaker 6: you what area to stay away from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is a reason to not look that way.
Speaker 1: That's the reason alone. But they were standing up for
Speaker 1: what it used to mean or something, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: anyone that sees us walking through town isn't doing that,
Speaker 1: So why can't you be by like the horn section
Speaker 1: and just have long hair. Anyway, and we went where
Speaker 1: it's pretty funny to wakeboard with skinhead ska guyes because uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, just watching them fall and stuff, but
Speaker 1: they were my friends. It sounds like I'm I mean
Speaker 1: not really, I don't know. But I did some artwork
Speaker 1: for Moon Records, which was this SKA label and it
Speaker 1: was a big deal for me to do art for
Speaker 1: like a record label, and that.
Speaker 3: Was a long time.
Speaker 1: Congratulations. Yeah, thanks you, congratulations. I like to do little plugs.
Speaker 1: I like to plug things I've done in the past
Speaker 1: since I have nothing going on now. And yeah, pretty
Speaker 1: proud of myself.
Speaker 3: Wait do you listen to the tape?
Speaker 6: Sorry, let's just get into this part because this is
Speaker 6: a political podcast.
Speaker 3: So why not just dig into the news of the Well.
Speaker 1: It's what everyone's thinking about.
Speaker 6: Yeah, did you listen to the tape where Melania Trump
Speaker 6: started said who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I got it.
Speaker 1: I haven't. Oh you have to, and I haven't. I
Speaker 1: don't want to seem like a let's see her emails
Speaker 1: type or that doesn't make sense. But I want to
Speaker 1: see his COVID test, like I want to believe it's
Speaker 1: it's I don't like to be It's like someone hinting
Speaker 1: that you're getting something for Christmas and then it's just
Speaker 1: a series of sweaters. I believe that he would it
Speaker 1: would behoove him to lie about this, and then just
Speaker 1: because he probably doesn't want to do their debates, he
Speaker 1: could take time off. I'm worried that he's pretending to
Speaker 1: have coronavirus? Am I being unreasonable?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 6: No, no, no, no, no, it's totally reasonable. It also
Speaker 6: is the worry and the conjecture of whether or not
Speaker 6: he's lying is taking up all of the media bandwidth
Speaker 6: instead of like that Trump tax story just broke. They
Speaker 6: barely had a day in the media of saying the
Speaker 6: president does he's like, you know, hundreds of millions of
Speaker 6: dollars in debt. He he doesn't pay taxes, right, like
Speaker 6: all this stuff, and then zip it just like it's
Speaker 6: once again this way where April I was talking to
Speaker 6: April richardson this morning in England and she was saying
Speaker 6: the same thing, where it's like it's this feeling of
Speaker 6: the second you have a good feeling like maybe this
Speaker 6: will change this horrible situation we're in, and then you
Speaker 6: can't help but then start running scenarios of how it's
Speaker 6: not going to happen, because that's what's happened every other.
Speaker 3: Time the past four years.
Speaker 6: So I'm smart to anticipate a negative and some shitty
Speaker 6: thing because that we've just been punched in the face
Speaker 6: over and over, right like New York City tourists over
Speaker 6: and over for the past four years.
Speaker 1: And I think that now that because we all knew
Speaker 1: about that tax stuff, but maybe people that watched Fox
Speaker 1: or whatever didn't know about that, and now everyone knows.
Speaker 1: And so that's one reason he would pretend to get it,
Speaker 1: is for time off to quarantine. But also I feel
Speaker 1: like it would be an opportunity for him to say
Speaker 1: he has it and then and yeah and say hey,
Speaker 1: it's not that bad. Look at how healthy I am,
Speaker 1: and then have the same that said he weighed two
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty pounds and had zero percent body fat
Speaker 1: or whatever that said he's the healthiest person ever.
Speaker 3: Say that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he has it and he's doing great. Like the lies,
Speaker 1: I think true could get away with. But true.
Speaker 6: Although here's the difference. And this is kind of an
Speaker 6: interesting thing. There's now these reporters that have such an
Speaker 6: eagle eye on the details, and they were saying Trump
Speaker 6: went to Walter Read a military hospital a month ago,
Speaker 6: and he took an suv there. Oh okay, the last
Speaker 6: time he went in for whatever tests or whatever reason
Speaker 6: that he went in. The mini strokes was one of
Speaker 6: the theories he took an suv. So the fact that
Speaker 6: he's helicoptering right on military one.
Speaker 3: Or whatever that helicopter is. Yeah, yeah, they're taking that
Speaker 3: as a sign of the seriousness.
Speaker 1: Have you read anything about him having symptoms of any
Speaker 1: kind or I haven't looked.
Speaker 3: Dry cough, sure, sleeplessness. No, I haven't read.
Speaker 6: He definitely has screaming spit syndrome, which is very common
Speaker 6: among men his age and ethnicity. Screaming spit they just
Speaker 6: scream and spit, and it's you're supposed to sit there
Speaker 6: and listen.
Speaker 3: That's what they expect you to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's one of the lesser known COVID symptoms.
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely get the vaccine against that, for sure.
Speaker 1: So I don't know why I can't just let myself
Speaker 1: be happy about something, But I guess it's like you said,
Speaker 1: you know a lot of times in life, like the
Speaker 1: time I did Conan and I was failing pretty good
Speaker 1: and then I got rear ended and hurt myself. I
Speaker 1: always think that if something good happens, there's got to
Speaker 1: be an immediate bad thing to level out the way.
Speaker 6: Yeah, because that's true, That is I think that's how
Speaker 6: life works. I think it's smart to anticipate. I also
Speaker 6: think it feels bad because we've now been put in
Speaker 6: this position where we're hoping that a person gets sick
Speaker 6: because they've been so terrible. So there is the out
Speaker 6: of context guilt that people. If you are actually a feeling,
Speaker 6: caring human being, you don't want to be sitting here
Speaker 6: high fiving because another person got this terrible disease that
Speaker 6: this administration has not taken seriously for one second, while
Speaker 6: hundreds of thousands of people die. One in every one
Speaker 6: thousand Black people get this disease, and it's ravaging this country.
Speaker 6: It's ravaging the economy, and they've been trying to figure
Speaker 6: out ways to make money off of it. So now
Speaker 6: this is this great come upance. Yeah, but of course
Speaker 6: I don't want any piece of that. I don't want
Speaker 6: to be doing that with anybody. I don't want people
Speaker 6: in my life that make me feel this way that
Speaker 6: is bad for me.
Speaker 3: And yet I can't. I don't have any control over
Speaker 3: this relationship.
Speaker 1: The fact that he specifically defiantly was pretending this wasn't
Speaker 1: happening and proudly not wearing a mask.
Speaker 3: But it was no big deal.
Speaker 1: It's hard not to smile when you see that he
Speaker 1: got it just because it's I mean, deserve it.
Speaker 3: This is eituation.
Speaker 6: Credit April Richardson, because she said this on the phone
Speaker 6: and then it blew both of our minds. She goes,
Speaker 6: we're finally seeing him experience a consequence. This might be
Speaker 6: the first time in his life he's experienced a direct
Speaker 6: consequence of anything, because him being almost a billion dollars
Speaker 6: in debt, him like all these things where clearly he
Speaker 6: gets away with everything. He has this weird rich stamp
Speaker 6: of I'll just get out of it.
Speaker 3: For everything.
Speaker 1: It's the one thing he can't take care of. What
Speaker 1: he can't get us, or it's by himself out of it,
Speaker 1: or steal himself.
Speaker 6: Or lie out of it, or somehow get Steven Miller
Speaker 6: to spin it or do a different creepy plan or what.
Speaker 3: It's like.
Speaker 6: This is an actual consequence. We are glad that he
Speaker 6: got caught in the argument where he was saying it
Speaker 6: doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I'm just surprised that Malaney got it too, because I
Speaker 1: just it makes me think. Wait, they were in the
Speaker 1: same room together ever, like listening to music and reading
Speaker 1: and holding hands.
Speaker 3: I don't know, because he yells bits at her.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and it flies six grad feet across the
Speaker 1: Oval office into her face. Well, sorry, what did she
Speaker 1: say about Christmas?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 6: She was getting mad that people were mad at her
Speaker 6: for not caring that their children being held in cages,
Speaker 6: separated from their families and being absolutely traumatized and sometimes
Speaker 6: killed in ice detention centers. And she was like, she's
Speaker 6: talking to a friend on the phone, and the friend
Speaker 6: recorded the call and then turned it into some news outlet.
Speaker 6: But she's basically saying on the phone.
Speaker 3: You know, I go down to visit them, but they're
Speaker 3: the ones that come up here. Obama put them in first,
Speaker 3: like she's doing, just.
Speaker 6: Doing all the party lines of the excuses of why
Speaker 6: it's okay to have a concentration camp for uh, for people,
Speaker 6: for migrants, and then she.
Speaker 3: Goes and then there are men and me because I
Speaker 3: don't decorate for Christmas. I mean, who gives it? Who
Speaker 3: gives about Christmas? That's so great? Oh no, she said,
Speaker 3: who can a fuck about Christmas stuff? Which is I
Speaker 3: don't know what.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in that whole funny phone call message, that's the
Speaker 1: only thing that's going to make a lot of America
Speaker 1: ups at Christmas.
Speaker 3: Now, hold on a minute. I didn't boyd.
Speaker 1: Boycott Starbucks just to or whatever people do.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she literally is someone someone tweeted the war on
Speaker 6: Christmas was coming.
Speaker 3: From inside the house, which is hilarious. Should I should
Speaker 3: look up who did that?
Speaker 6: I do that all the time where I read a
Speaker 6: tweet and it sticks in my mind, but I don't
Speaker 6: remember who did it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that's a good one, very good one. That's
Speaker 1: a very good one.
Speaker 3: Who did it. I'll never reminby did it? Who did it?
Speaker 3: And I didn't like it? Did I?
Speaker 6: I didn't.
Speaker 3: I'll keep looking. Well, we will all find out.
Speaker 1: We'll just hang tight and see if he gets sneezy.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get married to whether or not
Speaker 1: it's happening. But I guess it is whatever. Anyway, last night, Aaron.
Speaker 6: Our poor, our poor nerve systems. Last night, did you
Speaker 6: do something in local news? I?
Speaker 1: Uh, it was pretty late and I realized I hadn't eaten.
Speaker 1: I was elbows deep in Shit's creek.
Speaker 3: And I ordered Pha or foe.
Speaker 1: I call it Tha. I think it's supposed to be
Speaker 1: called Tha. But then there's a place in town called
Speaker 1: Faux Show. And they corrected me, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure it's Pa. The employees correct Anyway, I ordered some.
Speaker 1: It came to my house.
Speaker 3: Where are they from?
Speaker 1: No, No, they're local. They were local, man, But this
Speaker 1: guy dropped it off. It comes in two. There's a
Speaker 1: little to go bucket of broth. There's the ingredients in
Speaker 1: the other bucket, so you combine them in your home.
Speaker 1: I took them out of the bags. I poured it
Speaker 1: into a larger bucket they provide, so I'm looking at
Speaker 1: a lot of PA. And then I watched Catherine O'Hara.
Speaker 1: Did you see where she's auditioning and she just starts scatting.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen that much.
Speaker 1: It is so funny. I watched it over and over,
Speaker 1: and I'm not kidding. I did a knee slapping thing,
Speaker 1: I guess, or I just threw my arm wear and
Speaker 1: I flipped it like that game flip a cup. I
Speaker 1: hadn't even tasted any of my fa and it was
Speaker 1: kind of hot, and I launched it on my lap,
Speaker 1: all over my floors, onto my carpet, which I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get a new carpet because it really did a number
Speaker 1: on it. I guess there's a lot of oil in
Speaker 1: that broth, but it was hot, like where my legs
Speaker 1: were pink. I had some minor degree of burning, but
Speaker 1: it was well enjoying a thing. So I was still
Speaker 1: laughing because on top of her being funny, I just
Speaker 1: launched a bunch of fu in my lap and I
Speaker 1: kept lapping.
Speaker 3: Usually I'd be like.
Speaker 1: Fuck, God, damn it, I hate light.
Speaker 3: I usually would yell that stuff. But instead of my job.
Speaker 1: Oh I just turned into a sex pistol you.
Speaker 3: Oh God.
Speaker 1: And I cleaned it up forever anyway, that was really funny.
Speaker 1: And I went to bed without dinner like a punished child.
Speaker 1: I had to clean it all up and I went
Speaker 1: to bed hungry. And uh, I mean it was it
Speaker 1: was perfect. It was a perfect situation. At no point,
Speaker 1: I swear to you, did I stop laughing. I as
Speaker 1: I cleaned it up, I was laughing. I just got
Speaker 1: to enjoy these things now because that's what happened.
Speaker 6: Well, it's and it is an experience. It's like, even
Speaker 6: though it's a bummer, it's still something to do. Cleaning
Speaker 6: up that phu is like a project to you have
Speaker 6: that to do for another hour.
Speaker 3: Watch.
Speaker 1: I guess cleaning up phu that I spill on purposes
Speaker 1: my new cigarettes, Well, I guess it should make a
Speaker 1: mess so I can clean it.
Speaker 3: I'm bored.
Speaker 6: Hey, you want to go flip some fu outside? Yeah,
Speaker 6: let's do it really quick before.
Speaker 3: I hit the edge.
Speaker 1: It's so funny how rapidly and dramatically I launched all
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 3: And at the end, I just I saw it was
Speaker 3: all on the floor.
Speaker 1: But I took the cup and I just drank some
Speaker 1: of the remaining broth just to experience what it tasted like.
Speaker 1: And this was at the end of the night, and
Speaker 1: I couldn't order more, it was too late. It was
Speaker 1: such a perfect situation.
Speaker 6: You might be in the same situation many people are
Speaker 6: in where you have basically exhausted the restaurants on your
Speaker 6: list of places to order, because we've.
Speaker 3: All been in our houses for six months.
Speaker 6: And so it's like, because I was about to say,
Speaker 6: kind of an interesting choice to order fa when it
Speaker 6: was like one hundred and two degrees yesterday, who was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I just wasn't if it was daytime and
Speaker 1: I I was outside no way, but at night with
Speaker 1: my air condish, it's like, oh, I need some hot soup.
Speaker 3: It's getting chilli, and oh.
Speaker 6: I'm freezy, and I a college girl in your uggs
Speaker 6: all of a sudden.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love winter.
Speaker 3: First day, a fall y'all first day, all y'all sin
Speaker 3: spice latte, and I pour it on my head. I
Speaker 3: deserve this, No.
Speaker 1: I and I had I had canceled or put a
Speaker 1: block on all my Hello Fresh meals and they started
Speaker 1: arriving so in a pinch. Oh nice, if I order
Speaker 1: something and then launch it on my crutch, I can
Speaker 1: go in and make some shrimp spaghetti or whatever they've said.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't shrimp on your rug, was it? Oh?
Speaker 1: It was chicken. It was that perfect little boiled egg.
Speaker 1: It was it was everything you find.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there was some green onions. Do you still have
Speaker 6: green onions? Kind of sprinkled about.
Speaker 1: There was kelligons, you know, some of it. I did
Speaker 1: wait for it to just dry on the floor so
Speaker 1: I could scrape it up, sure, because oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: hard to mop up noodle soup. And I was kind
Speaker 1: of just fed up with life. I just turned everything
Speaker 1: off after trying to clean it. And then the next
Speaker 1: day I'm like, oh, looks like we have a few
Speaker 1: ingredients still in the carpet. So I'm going to order
Speaker 1: a more natural round woven rug.
Speaker 5: Like good.
Speaker 1: This colored rug that I have, it's like a gradient
Speaker 1: of light colors. It was already doomed because of just
Speaker 1: normal footprints. So it's time for it to go. Now
Speaker 1: it's riddled with foe and it's time for it to go.
Speaker 1: Oh No, that wasn't That wasn't on purpose. That wasn't planned.
Speaker 1: Time to go it's riddled with foe.
Speaker 3: It's riddled with foe. And then you're gonna later on
Speaker 3: when you.
Speaker 6: Get your what I believe is a sizal Matt, what
Speaker 6: you're describing the natural fiber carpet. Then you can take
Speaker 6: the rug you have and you can pour hot water
Speaker 6: over it, and you can ring it out and then
Speaker 6: have a new cup of foe.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm saying.
Speaker 6: Later if you need money or if your things are
Speaker 6: you know what I mean, you can just kind of
Speaker 6: save it right almost like it's almost like putting it
Speaker 6: up for the winter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a rug and just add hot water and
Speaker 1: ring it like it's Rawmen, this is just a bunch
Speaker 1: of flavoring waiting to happen later on, or like an
Speaker 1: astronaut meal.
Speaker 3: Yes, but in a rug. Yeah, it's a rugstronaut.
Speaker 1: I think I might just roll it up and let
Speaker 1: it go. I've tried to clean it up. I tried
Speaker 1: to soap it down, I tried to brush it and
Speaker 1: hang it and it still looked like shit.
Speaker 6: So you know, who gives a fuck about Christmas? Who
Speaker 6: gives a fuck about Christmas?
Speaker 1: That's the best. I love that she doesn't celebrate about Christmas.
Speaker 3: Stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the I wish that's how she talked.
Speaker 1: That's the only likable thing I've ever heard her say.
Speaker 6: For real, I relate to her for the first time,
Speaker 6: aside from her weird glary eyes that she thinks is
Speaker 6: a good look, but she looks insanely crazy even when.
Speaker 1: They're like there's a cameraman, there's got to be people
Speaker 1: there sort of directing or like, okay, you're talking about
Speaker 1: I forget what she cares about. But she did some
Speaker 1: earnest video where she's just side looking sideways, glaring like
Speaker 1: the evil evilist Bond villain. And then she but what
Speaker 1: she's saying is something coming from a place.
Speaker 3: School, stay in school. Drugs are bad.
Speaker 1: And then she starts trying dancing.
Speaker 3: Drugs are bad. I can't remember when she lights a
Speaker 3: little pile of straw on fire with her eyes.
Speaker 1: Just immediately shoots lasers at an ant pile.
Speaker 3: Oh, she's you know.
Speaker 6: What, I didn't like the first lady before I knew
Speaker 6: that she had laser eyes that she killed insects with.
Speaker 6: And now I feel like there's common ground, Brian, there's
Speaker 6: some have you seen her statue that they made.
Speaker 3: In I believe Slovena, her home country.
Speaker 1: If that's I think she is correct from the Slovenia,
Speaker 1: that's what I wanted to gas.
Speaker 6: And they built her a statue, did you see that?
Speaker 6: And then it burnt down and then they replaced it.
Speaker 6: Have you It was arts and you know the writer's
Speaker 6: article that I read said burnt.
Speaker 3: It was burnt. So I don't know if they were
Speaker 3: accusing anybody or had any.
Speaker 1: Because what I know of statues in general is they
Speaker 1: rarely catch on fire.
Speaker 3: Well outside of Slovenia.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but here in My dad and I were talking
Speaker 6: about this this morning because he goes, did you see
Speaker 6: that first statue they made of her? Look like some
Speaker 6: on you're driving on the way to the Avenue of Giants,
Speaker 6: you know, there's always like a buzzsaw artist on the
Speaker 6: side of the road. That's like it's they buzz sawed
Speaker 6: a brown bear into a stump of wood my dad backyard.
Speaker 1: There was a trace, No, and he or it was
Speaker 1: the planning. We had a chainsawready and everything. He was
Speaker 1: going to make a little bear. I don't think he
Speaker 1: did it, but yeah.
Speaker 6: Well basically someone in Slovenia did a chainsaw bear. But
Speaker 6: it's it's Uh. I was gonna say, Miranda Trump, something's.
Speaker 3: Wrong with me?
Speaker 6: Stephen, do you know what I'm talking about? And could
Speaker 6: you find any could you send any these pictures and
Speaker 6: post them into our zoom chat like having a business meeting, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: It was burned during some July fourth celebrations this year.
Speaker 5: Let me share the page America's Independence in Slovenia. Okay,
Speaker 5: oh my god, can you see the screen? Yeah, that's
Speaker 5: the original.
Speaker 1: That is the Milania Trump. Oh, it's made it's very
Speaker 1: old school. Oh my god, it's really funny. It's really funny.
Speaker 1: Why next to her waving it's taken from a photo?
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's to be realistic to that. Go and then
Speaker 6: look there's the is that the new version?
Speaker 1: I can't tell you that, John. Oh, it is on fire.
Speaker 1: It is made of wood. Even her bush base is burnt.
Speaker 1: It's got a base made of bushes and it's all burnt.
Speaker 3: Yeah, burnt, baby burnt.
Speaker 2: Oh man.
Speaker 3: Some local artists, why is that? Bummed me out?
Speaker 1: Did you guys ever see the uh wasn't it Lucille Ball?
Speaker 1: They like made a statue for Lucille Ball and it
Speaker 1: looked like something from American horror story.
Speaker 6: Yes, it's a crazy fucking thing. Is it Lucille Ball, Yeah,
Speaker 6: I think it is. And also there's the one of
Speaker 6: that Christian Ronaldo, that soccer player, that is fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3: That thing is unbelievable.
Speaker 1: It's every time I see that, I think of, like,
Speaker 1: how talented A lot of the just people I went
Speaker 1: to art school with were it. Yeah, it is like
Speaker 1: why and then there's a new Yeah, it is like
Speaker 1: the horrifying They were like, okay, maybe we shouldn't just
Speaker 1: google search local artists and oh yeah there's Oh that's
Speaker 1: so funny. But the next statue is great. It's like
Speaker 1: got a patina where her eyes are blue? I love it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, huh, there's just so many good art Well you
Speaker 6: bring up that Christian Ronaldo one, because Christian Ronaldo there
Speaker 6: it is. He's so good looking and the statue of
Speaker 6: him is so fucking funny.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, there it is. Oh that's so it's like.
Speaker 3: That guy.
Speaker 1: That guy's like, I'll teach you for making fun of
Speaker 1: me in high school. Like, clearly someone forced their way
Speaker 1: into that situation and did a prank. Because I don't
Speaker 1: I don't see it at all.
Speaker 3: It's just all, well, you know what it is.
Speaker 6: It's like they didn't use a protractor or something so
Speaker 6: that the distance between his eyes and his cheeks and
Speaker 6: his cheeks and his mouth. The reason he's so gorgeous
Speaker 6: is because on his face those numbers, it's like the
Speaker 6: golden ratio.
Speaker 3: And then the statue. They've brought his eyes as close together.
Speaker 6: As possible, and then all of his features are up
Speaker 6: together instead of spread out across his face like the person.
Speaker 1: It's his eyes and mouth are lined up on some
Speaker 1: weird angle. They're like, it's like, yeah, he used a
Speaker 1: triangle to draw those lines that everyone draws when they
Speaker 1: do an oval. And then they're like, okay, the eyes
Speaker 1: are in the middle. There's eight lines. I'm just going
Speaker 1: to put these ones at an angle. Man.
Speaker 3: That who is that guy?
Speaker 1: I don't even know who he is? Should I know?
Speaker 3: I don't know who he's a soccer player, Ronaldo?
Speaker 1: Well he's yeah, yeah, he is like a perfect faced,
Speaker 1: symmetrical faced person. Yes, that's a prank. Someone there are sculpture.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite prank. Now doing a city like funded
Speaker 1: sculpture for a town, like money's allocated for this thing.
Speaker 1: You get hired and you're like, do the best prank ever.
Speaker 1: It just you're liking to me.
Speaker 3: Actually, I'm not a fan or a friend. I am
Speaker 3: their enemy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to do a sculpture
Speaker 1: of the first Lady and it's going to be out
Speaker 1: of gas soaked wood. It's something I learned in college. Also,
Speaker 1: I will be at the end. When I'm done, I
Speaker 1: will celebrate by smoking a giant cigar.
Speaker 3: Whoop.
Speaker 6: I'm brining the wood in gasoline. Yeah, yeah, you an
Speaker 6: old recipe.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't know. Yeah, I went tired school.
Speaker 3: This is the thing we do. It's the thing we do.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I love Jesus.
Speaker 3: What a day?
Speaker 6: What a Also, doesn't today feel like a Sunday?
Speaker 3: It's Friday?
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah?
Speaker 3: I have felt that way all week.
Speaker 6: Turn the TV off. I am you're like a fucking
Speaker 6: parkey staring up it is I swear it wasn't on.
Speaker 6: It's just a screensaver and I'm looking at Shit's Creek
Speaker 6: production stills, realizing that Eugene Levy is like grew into
Speaker 6: a handsome older man. Remember he was goofy. He was good,
Speaker 6: He's looking and splash. He was like I know, you
Speaker 6: know he was intentionally goofy, and now both of the
Speaker 6: Levy men are nuts hot.
Speaker 3: It's it's there, those Mediterranean.
Speaker 6: Hairy, heavy browed Yeah, kind of like lantern jawed, but
Speaker 6: like it's almost like Eugene Levey's been hiding behind comedy,
Speaker 6: pretending he was a nerd when he's actually a hot guy.
Speaker 6: And he had a son who was just like, look,
Speaker 6: I'm just a hawk eye. That's also funny, too bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he switched the order. I it's and I
Speaker 1: didn't even care about I didn't notice. I knew I
Speaker 1: had wispy, sometimes translucent eyebrows, but you started talking NonStop
Speaker 1: about Colin Ferrell and how his eyebrows have their own
Speaker 1: personality and dictate what the other person thinks, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And I these guys have those eyebrows
Speaker 1: I wish I had. They do should there's something?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: No, my pillow guy, do you want do you want
Speaker 6: to be the weirdest person?
Speaker 1: Of course not? And then off camera I take off
Speaker 1: my giant cross medallion.
Speaker 3: No, I don't want to look like my pillow guy,
Speaker 3: of course not.
Speaker 6: Dismantling gripping a pillow screaming mine over and over. My
Speaker 6: pillow guy is really like the second he was rising
Speaker 6: to prominence and fame and fortune, we all should have said, hey,
Speaker 6: if this isn't the seventh seal being broken, typically, I
Speaker 6: don't know what else could be, because this is the
Speaker 6: absolute exit, like the perfect example of like worshiping a
Speaker 6: golden calf like this lunatic.
Speaker 3: I just it's the craziest.
Speaker 6: The culture that's grown up around being pro Trump is psychotic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, hiding behind if they were being a pillow tycoon.
Speaker 6: But have you ever seen the ad for his his
Speaker 6: autobiography where it talks about his fourteen near death experiences
Speaker 6: because he was such a terrible drug addict before he
Speaker 6: made it big with his My Pillow The.
Speaker 1: Only reason he was doing those drugscaren is because he
Speaker 1: had never had a good night's sleep. It wasn't until.
Speaker 3: This creek in his neck, Oh my god, and.
Speaker 1: It made him jump onto that white horse every weekend.
Speaker 6: Need it smack directly mainlined into his neck vein because
Speaker 6: he could not get a comfortable spot.
Speaker 3: The pillow was always hot.
Speaker 1: Every time I tried to sleep, I just wake up
Speaker 1: restless and shoot into my veins.
Speaker 3: The Black Stallion.
Speaker 1: Then he found Jesus, and uh I do I can't
Speaker 1: stop thinking it of him. Someone just putting the camera
Speaker 1: on him in a commercial being what you just described
Speaker 1: him saying mine, mine, my only one. No, my pillow mine,
Speaker 1: people grabbing at it, dressed in devil devil outfit.
Speaker 6: No, he has to at the at the mypiow factory,
Speaker 6: he grabs every pillow at the end of the conveyor belt,
Speaker 6: and all the workers have to go No, no, no,
Speaker 6: they're everybody's pillows.
Speaker 3: No, we can mind, but we have to sell them.
Speaker 1: The only the only part I don't like about making
Speaker 1: my pillows is that I have to sell them to
Speaker 1: other people.
Speaker 3: I want them all.
Speaker 6: Because they're mine. I mean, look, I yeah, I do.
Speaker 6: I want other people to get a good night's sleep. Sure, fine,
Speaker 6: Do I want to give all my pillows away? No,
Speaker 6: they're mine.
Speaker 3: I'm also on the Black Stallion. You are right now.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, have you been riding bare back again?
Speaker 1: I just like you've been. It's always horse related similes.
Speaker 6: Someone's taking taking a sea biscuit and go in to
Speaker 6: bed on there pillow.
Speaker 1: I just want to shave a little off the hoof
Speaker 1: that's when you're addicted to jello.
Speaker 3: I don't know, grouch, you get high on gelatine. Have
Speaker 3: you ever had? Have you ever had?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: That's how I it's got.
Speaker 6: Gelatine is very much along the same lines as Fa
Speaker 6: and Foe, where there will be people that argue, but
Speaker 6: a real food, he knows it's gelatine.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had? Nerds?
Speaker 1: Ropes?
Speaker 3: Speaking of it? Is God? They're good? Why is that
Speaker 3: candy so good?
Speaker 1: It am I making? No, it's a rope that they
Speaker 1: somehow made sticky and it's covered with nerds.
Speaker 3: It's straight out of the.
Speaker 1: Wonka factory, like a classic looking candy I want.
Speaker 6: Inside is like a little I know, the inside like
Speaker 6: a little sour piece of liquor, but not because there's
Speaker 6: a different consistency. And my friend brought them over and
Speaker 6: I was like, I thought it was a joke, and
Speaker 6: he luckily left, like he brought a bunch of them
Speaker 6: over and then left like five.
Speaker 3: And I think about them.
Speaker 1: The weirdest thing you think about them now that they're gone.
Speaker 6: You know, when I'm not getting up and going to
Speaker 6: the kitchen or getting up and do you know getting
Speaker 6: it's when I'm having my ingesting a new thing thoughts, Right,
Speaker 6: Nerds ropes are always on the top of the list
Speaker 6: where I'm like, I don't know how to get them.
Speaker 3: I don't know any nine year olds. I don't know
Speaker 3: how to get this candy. I don't see it anywhere, right,
Speaker 3: It's like very specific to grammar school students, and yet
Speaker 3: I want a piece of that action.
Speaker 1: And that was always the candy I wanted as a kid.
Speaker 1: Those little boxes sectioned often in the middle. It's such
Speaker 1: a unny gimmick. It's like, yeah, they're not you want
Speaker 1: strawberry or and then you want to mix it up.
Speaker 1: A few minutes later, I'm blueberry on the other side.
Speaker 1: It was a great idea, it was a great ia.
Speaker 6: I love nerds and the Nerds people, and I guess
Speaker 6: that is the Willy Wonka brand.
Speaker 3: It is one they have been.
Speaker 6: They've been innovating since that time, so they know the
Speaker 6: kids of today aren't going to be happy, which is
Speaker 6: a plain old box of Nerds' that's too, it's too
Speaker 6: what do you call it when something's not digital?
Speaker 3: It's mono. It's true analog analog. Thank you. They've gone
Speaker 3: fully internet with these new Nerds ropes.
Speaker 1: A lot of kids out there are like, these can't
Speaker 1: this candy is so pedestrian, you know, they say stuff
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 3: They do these kids all the time.
Speaker 1: They're they're so technologically advanced, some of these kids when
Speaker 1: it comes to candy.
Speaker 6: Did you know that the rope inside is actually the
Speaker 6: fire wire? It's the only that's the only computer thing
Speaker 6: I could think of Ethernet covered in nerds. Hey, let's
Speaker 6: talk about Madonna. Yeah, I will, now, did you not?
Speaker 6: She's she's gone QAnon like many of our older stars. Really,
Speaker 6: she's brought into some of the apparently apparently and then
Speaker 6: but here's what. I love the Great Power, but I
Speaker 6: love Madonna too. Look, Madonna is a wonder kind and
Speaker 6: she deserves everything that she has. Sure, but she's I
Speaker 6: think spent too much time alone as an older person
Speaker 6: near the Internet, which you can't let these people do that. Yeah,
Speaker 6: I buy every you know, you have to check their websites,
Speaker 6: you have to put a parent alert on your parents
Speaker 6: the computer. But she came out going like this is
Speaker 6: a conspiracy and all the classic shit. And Annie Lennox
Speaker 6: from the Eurythmics, no, the from Eurythmics, Y came and
Speaker 6: just was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me, do
Speaker 6: not do this? Like Annie Lennox came and like went
Speaker 6: for amazing.
Speaker 1: I feel like Madonna would listen to Annie Lennox. I
Speaker 1: do too because she.
Speaker 3: I think we should all listen to Annie Lennox.
Speaker 1: They came up together, if not the rhythmics before her,
Speaker 1: of course, but she there's no one that doesn't look
Speaker 1: up Danny Lennox.
Speaker 3: She's a fucking legend.
Speaker 1: She's the best.
Speaker 3: Have you. We've definitely talked about this.
Speaker 1: I can't stop thinking of an older Madonna online reading
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories. But she's still wearing that golden funnel bra
Speaker 1: with the two gold funnels on each cup. I just
Speaker 1: like that to remember the old days and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I have all these costumes, why not wear them?
Speaker 3: Don't go for a sec and best baby. Believe everything
Speaker 3: you read online. You know, you know you got to.
Speaker 3: Don't check a thing you see, don't worry about the sources.
Speaker 3: If it's Facebook, it's real, real.
Speaker 1: Believe this shit.
Speaker 4: You got to make to make believe this shit. Hey, hey,
Speaker 4: I'm sixty seven. If you want it right now, Okay,
Speaker 4: we have to stuff singing a song.
Speaker 1: It's funny. No, it's funny because that's my favorite game,
Speaker 1: is making up songs and rasping for lyrics. But when
Speaker 1: you're doing it, I'm laughing and I can't join in necessarily.
Speaker 1: So just for future reference, we have to take turns.
Speaker 1: We have to do Okay, it's hard to do duets,
Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. And I guess I'm also saying
Speaker 1: I can't be in your band anymore.
Speaker 3: We will not share the spotlight with me or Madonna.
Speaker 1: We both know I'd be in the dark shadows playing tambourine.
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to harmonize.
Speaker 6: Hey, harmonizing is the fucking hardest thing. It's the people
Speaker 6: that can do it. They're the only people that can
Speaker 6: do it. I can't do it. And if someone starts
Speaker 6: doing it with me, I'll just start singing what they're singing.
Speaker 1: Right right, right, right, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 3: It's hard.
Speaker 1: Do you have to know about notes? Would it help
Speaker 1: that I play trombone? I have an ear for music?
Speaker 3: Maybe it just you do you do it. It's the
Speaker 3: ear you need.
Speaker 6: You need to be the kind of person that can
Speaker 6: tell that can hear different separate tunes. And I'm the
Speaker 6: kind of person that hears the melody and that's kind
Speaker 6: of it, and the other ones scare me. Harmonizing is like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I think you have to have a special ear and ability.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anytime I've tried, or anytime someone's had the confidence in
Speaker 1: me to assume I can harmonize, I blow it big time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And this is just bar karaoke, you know.
Speaker 6: Oh, well, but that's where it's the most important, because
Speaker 6: that's where you get discovered.
Speaker 1: Well, it's the only time I'm ever singing.
Speaker 6: What's your what's your karaoke hit? What's your go to
Speaker 6: karaoke jam?
Speaker 1: I mean I was a kid, and I know when
Speaker 1: it comes to karaoke, you don't want to pull out
Speaker 1: some obscure song that only you like. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: sell it.
Speaker 3: You have to do the hits, okay, yes, and you
Speaker 3: have the group enjoyment.
Speaker 1: And so I, without any prompt from a monitor, I'm.
Speaker 3: Saying, can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess?
Speaker 3: Read how chili pep of some kind?
Speaker 1: No? No, I'm not Brooks Wheeling.
Speaker 3: I just dominutely give it to your mama, Give it away,
Speaker 3: Give it away, give it Away Now Poppins. That's where
Speaker 3: Rob drews song blood. I always add some scat.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 1: I used to sing bust a move, but this was
Speaker 1: mid mid to late nineties, and I just had it
Speaker 1: memorized and I could, I could, I could do it well.
Speaker 1: And then I did want it or a live by
Speaker 1: bond Jovi. I'm not proud of these things. And then
Speaker 1: I sang I want a contest at Stockman's Bar in
Speaker 1: Missoula with I just Called to Say, I Love You
Speaker 1: by Stevie Wonder. I know it's his least, it's not
Speaker 1: his best song. I love Stevie Wonder, but that song
Speaker 1: kind of sucks. But it's the only one where he's
Speaker 1: not going high. And I can do an impression of
Speaker 1: his voice, but only in those three octaves or whatever.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: You want me to sing it, I will sell you
Speaker 1: on it right now.
Speaker 3: Try it. I will not.
Speaker 1: I can't try it. I'm starting to sweat. Don't make
Speaker 1: me sing. I will fucking faint.
Speaker 6: I will Newesday, Such a clink clink. It sounds like
Speaker 6: someone pressed one button on the keyboard. I know that
Speaker 6: was his way of saying fuck you. It was like, oh,
Speaker 6: you want to you want another hit here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it's not instinct.
Speaker 3: I know ding didding ding ding ding ding ding ding.
Speaker 3: Well do you like the phone?
Speaker 1: I know it's like baby melodies, but I could sing
Speaker 1: it well and people would be surprised.
Speaker 3: To hear it. I can't give me one line.
Speaker 1: Nothing scares me more than singing to you that song.
Speaker 1: It's a weird thing about me. It has to be
Speaker 1: a room full of strangers. Even if we were at
Speaker 1: a karaoke bar and you were in the audience, I
Speaker 1: would not be able to sing. I have to be drunk.
Speaker 1: It has to be strangers. Yes, no friends are allowed,
Speaker 1: and that goes true with comedy. Maybe I'm happy that
Speaker 1: it's over because I clearly had a weird Yeah, it
Speaker 1: is easier.
Speaker 3: May I'm happy that comedy is over.
Speaker 6: It is karaoke is just starting.
Speaker 3: They should do. Oh my god, I.
Speaker 6: Just had the best idea. Okay copyright poor Man's copyright.
Speaker 1: Okay, Stephen.
Speaker 6: At one hour and three minutes and four seconds into
Speaker 6: this podcast, I just.
Speaker 1: Better not I say burrito size corn tartillas.
Speaker 3: That's my idea.
Speaker 1: But corn TORTI Yes, they're wrappable. They're going to be
Speaker 1: great and they're going to be a hit. How not?
Speaker 3: Wouldn't they break when you go to bend them?
Speaker 1: Que formula? Hasn't everyone's always thinking about regular corn tartillas
Speaker 1: when I bring this up. These are pliable, malleable, they're foldable,
Speaker 1: and they're made of corn, and you can fry them
Speaker 1: and you can basically.
Speaker 3: Make a hard shell burrito.
Speaker 1: Does that? Is that music to anyone's ears? A hard
Speaker 1: shell burrito? Forget about? I mean, you will you are
Speaker 1: nay saying now, but I'll be laughing all the way
Speaker 1: to the bank. But anyway, what.
Speaker 6: You're they're already. Isn't there already a hard shell burrito?
Speaker 6: Like when you deep fry a burrito, it's cold.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's a flower tortilla. That says for gluten
Speaker 1: free people. Also, Oh, it's gonna okay, it's gonna fly
Speaker 1: off the shelves. No one believes it, Okay, I'm sorry. No,
Speaker 1: we do.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm young, Chris. We do. We do believe
Speaker 3: in you.
Speaker 6: We don't believe in your corn tortilla. For burrito's idea.
Speaker 6: That's there's two different things. You're not your ideas.
Speaker 1: I always want larger corn. Okay, they can still be
Speaker 1: for giant tacos, but I know people are gonna take
Speaker 1: them home and not have an open faced situation. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be a burrito, and we'll just that it's their business.
Speaker 6: What they want to do with their burrito at home.
Speaker 6: Is you invented again? Like my pillow. You can't retain
Speaker 6: ownership to invent these corn tortillas taketos.
Speaker 1: Think about a taketo, a perfectly crispy taketo. Imagine now
Speaker 1: it's bigger, filled with other ingredients other than just shredded meat.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a giant corn.
Speaker 3: But this is corn.
Speaker 1: Tomali's Yes, technically Tmali is corn also, but this is carr.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have to heal.
Speaker 3: I understand you. You don't believe in my ideas.
Speaker 6: Go back to the drawing board, where I know for
Speaker 6: a fact you've drawn a corn tortillo.
Speaker 7: Everything start, yes, I do a quick sketch, and then
Speaker 7: I'm like, I'm gonna take this to clay, and then
Speaker 7: I do a sculpture of the corn.
Speaker 6: Then bronze Brun's like Lucio ball statue.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, I'm ready to go for just
Speaker 1: food ingredients. Actually, my preliminary versions are a lot more
Speaker 1: work than just food. I should have just gone straight
Speaker 1: to cornflower and okay, sorry, what was your idea?
Speaker 3: My idea future karaoke is the future of karaoke is
Speaker 3: karaoke shows.
Speaker 6: Like people are doing stand up zoom shows, but everyone
Speaker 6: just it's when it's your time, you just sit there
Speaker 6: and sing a song to the eight other people on
Speaker 6: the ship.
Speaker 1: That's what I've been wanting to do with our in
Speaker 1: the Green Zoom. My manager Jessica and her other clients
Speaker 1: and I have just been Paul Danky kind of hosts
Speaker 1: and we just talk about topics and it's improvised. It's
Speaker 1: easy and fun. But I wanted to do a karaoke version,
Speaker 1: and I said that in the email and it got
Speaker 1: no responses. What I'm saying is.
Speaker 6: I wonder if there's a music clearance issue, though people
Speaker 6: might because you can't just use songs and a show
Speaker 6: and make my think.
Speaker 1: You can use Oh right, I don't think we're like.
Speaker 3: Five seconds or ten seconds. There's appearance.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. Even if it is the karaoke
Speaker 1: version of that song money Cake.
Speaker 6: Even if you do happy birthday. And I don't recommend
Speaker 6: that you do that for my idea because you're make
Speaker 6: a good show. That's a that's private, that's for in
Speaker 6: the head. Yeah, I just I just pitched my idea
Speaker 6: back out of this. Right, you got process because it's
Speaker 6: not good.
Speaker 1: You got to pretend you're on Shark Tank. You got
Speaker 1: to be those baseball team owners that naysay yes, Mark.
Speaker 6: Mark Kuban look it in the face, Mark Kuben, Mark Kuben, inventor.
Speaker 3: Of foe would.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe the third thing. Yeah, he would
Speaker 1: say no.
Speaker 3: He'd say no, no thanks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like it.
Speaker 6: I don't like Shark Tank because I don't first of all,
Speaker 6: I don't like watching people try their best. That doesn't
Speaker 6: appeal to me. And then when I see the best
Speaker 6: and that's what it is, where it's like it's dish
Speaker 6: hoowels that you can you know, make magnetize to the
Speaker 6: refrigerator whatever ship, where it's like this is your life dream,
Speaker 6: this is every you're putting everything into this.
Speaker 1: I see a lot of heart I hate, but a
Speaker 1: lot of times they deserve it. And if there was
Speaker 1: an eleven year old kid came on and he's like
Speaker 1: because his dad said, just think of a problem if
Speaker 1: you want to invent something, because that's all the kid said,
Speaker 1: I want to invent something. I want to be on
Speaker 1: Shark Tank. He said, think of a problem, think of
Speaker 1: a solution, and we'll pitch that. And then the kid
Speaker 1: to try and think of the problems or think of
Speaker 1: a problem. He was playing with Legos and he invented
Speaker 1: some lego glue that yes, so you can make a
Speaker 1: toy and then but then it dissipates with water, like
Speaker 1: all you have to do is add water and you
Speaker 1: have your Legos back again.
Speaker 3: And so he picks me he actually invented it.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's like I think it's going to come
Speaker 1: along with Lego kids now and.
Speaker 3: It's a little kid.
Speaker 1: Little kid didn't enter.
Speaker 3: I love it. Yes, that's smart.
Speaker 6: We've both we both need to reapproach our inventions with
Speaker 6: this eleven year old approach, which is what problem are
Speaker 6: we I'm solving no problems by bringing karaoke into the home, right,
Speaker 6: that solves no problem and it just doesn't serve the
Speaker 6: whole idea of karaoke is like you say you're in public,
Speaker 6: you're getting drunk, and then you're doing something with that d.
Speaker 1: Doing another people go to like the in the ones
Speaker 1: in Koreatown where you're in a booth with three of
Speaker 1: your friends and sing to people you already know. Again,
Speaker 1: it makes my back sweat and I want to face
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it. I don't want to
Speaker 1: sing to my friends. They all I'm going to do
Speaker 1: is change their mind about me if they like me.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, but maybe not.
Speaker 6: Maybe it's not that maybe our vulnerabilities aren't so right
Speaker 6: there on the surface like we think. Maybe it's not
Speaker 6: that tenuous that you can get kicked out, which is look,
Speaker 6: everyone's fear. As human beings, we all want to be included. Yeah,
Speaker 6: so I don't know if you've If you and your
Speaker 6: friends chose to go to a Koreatown karaoke bar that
Speaker 6: has individual booths, then wouldn't your friends be in the
Speaker 6: wrong for kicking you out since that's that's what the
Speaker 6: fuck they signed up play.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people do it that way.
Speaker 1: So I think your invention isn't bad. If you have
Speaker 1: that in a zoom situation, people would enjoy it. There
Speaker 1: should be more zoom karaoke shows. I don't know, if
Speaker 1: that's an invention and money does not need to be transacted.
Speaker 1: But I do want money for my corn tortillas. I'm
Speaker 1: going to make it happen, and you can, may say,
Speaker 1: all the way to me going straight to the bank, Karen.
Speaker 6: I want to believe in you. I just am worried
Speaker 6: about the burrito sides. It Burritos fold almost like a rectangle,
Speaker 6: like a like a long three D rectangle. You have
Speaker 6: to picture that where you need it has to fold
Speaker 6: one to like a couple times, and corn tortillas infamously one.
Speaker 1: It's it's not going to be flower, but you know,
Speaker 1: because that defeats the purpose. But there's going to be
Speaker 1: something in it that acts as a flower. And they
Speaker 1: don't have to be around They could be triangular shaped.
Speaker 1: What do you think of that?
Speaker 6: So so so, then you're folding in the corners like
Speaker 6: origami and you're making like a burrito stork.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've want a burrito swan and I want it now.
Speaker 1: I want to bite its head off and have delicious
Speaker 1: taco meat in my mouth.
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, but there's only a little bit of taco
Speaker 6: meat in the in the head because it's a swan.
Speaker 3: All the real good meats down in the guts. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because those birds are dumb.
Speaker 6: They're dumb, they have tiny brains. I don't eat that
Speaker 6: part and expect a bunch of meat.
Speaker 1: I'm just trouble I think I'm I'm troubleshooting. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: nail it one day.
Speaker 6: Okay, because I've had I'm just trying to I just
Speaker 6: want to tell the truth.
Speaker 1: I've had gluten free tortillas and tortillas in general. When
Speaker 1: they're like, like, let's go back to the tokyo taco
Speaker 1: our takyo argument?
Speaker 3: What is w talk to you?
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about takios. I. Oh,
Speaker 1: I never say flower. I'm like, what are you a child?
Speaker 1: Do you want corn or flower? Oh? A flour because
Speaker 1: I'm uninteresting corn. Everyone should be getting corn tacos.
Speaker 3: My knees. Nora has, as you well know, she can't
Speaker 3: eat gluten. She has siliacs.
Speaker 6: So if you come up with this, I have seen
Speaker 6: my sister buy her gluten free tortillas and they're they're
Speaker 6: not what you're looking for.
Speaker 3: It in a flower or corn towards win and.
Speaker 1: Strain, you just don't even need to be good. I'm
Speaker 1: just looking for a get rich fast scheme, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to take these people for all their money.
Speaker 3: That's right, because I know torn tortillas don't fold into
Speaker 3: a burrito.
Speaker 1: I'm not an idiot, but think of the think of
Speaker 1: all the people that'll try it out.
Speaker 3: And then I moved to Canada.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and right is the right as the breaking starts
Speaker 6: on the second turn where it's like, wait, this can't
Speaker 6: and that's then we hear your car wheels of your
Speaker 6: new Porsche peeling out as you drive to VANGI.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, son of a bitch. He did it again.
Speaker 1: He did it again. The invention banned it.
Speaker 6: Chris, if you right now, Uh, we're standing at a
Speaker 6: taco stand, say one of the many delicious ones over
Speaker 6: in your.
Speaker 1: Neighborhood, Yes, any of them?
Speaker 3: What's your what's your number?
Speaker 2: One?
Speaker 6: Like kind of off the cuff taco go to? Obviously,
Speaker 6: we know you're gonna say it's on a corn tortilla,
Speaker 6: So that's a given. What is inside that taco that's
Speaker 6: making it happen for you?
Speaker 1: Thank you for asking. I'm a chicken man, always have been,
Speaker 1: even when I feel confronted by animal things. Sure, the chickens.
Speaker 1: I've been around at some point I will say, fuck you,
Speaker 1: stop pecking at my chins. They're mean birds. I don't
Speaker 1: eat pork anymore. I don't want to eat cows anymore.
Speaker 1: So I eat chicken, even when I want to try
Speaker 1: the carne asada or whatever. Anyway, for uninteresting reasons, it's
Speaker 1: chicken and I Yeah, I just whatever vech I like
Speaker 1: avocado a lot, chicken and avocado. Can that be a
Speaker 1: taco healthy one?
Speaker 2: Yes? It can.
Speaker 3: I like it. Could you make the avocado into it
Speaker 3: some kind of a tortilla?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what if that's the missing ingredient?
Speaker 3: Answer? Boom, It'll be pliable. I get fifty percent. You
Speaker 3: have to give it to me now, it's my tillo.
Speaker 1: Now, in the tune of a Madonna hit, I have
Speaker 1: I think that there is a missing ingrede. There is
Speaker 1: if there's avocado flower out there because it has fats
Speaker 1: in it. Yeah, I can't stop inventing food things. I
Speaker 1: think I've gotten cocky with my learning to cook. With
Speaker 1: the Hello Fresh, I feel like I'm a food inventor now.
Speaker 3: Because you are living in a tortillo world and you
Speaker 3: are a tortilla with avocados. Girl. Last night, I.
Speaker 1: Dreamt of a bagel with an olive and and cream cheese.
Speaker 1: This is what I want to eat, LaRita.
Speaker 3: See, it's it's fun. It's fun, and it shouldn't be illegal.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be Oh, I can't bear. I can't believe
Speaker 1: this podcast. It was Madonna money shit?
Speaker 3: Do we get insurance?
Speaker 1: I liked her better when she has friends with Rosie O'Donnell.
Speaker 3: I liked her better when she wore a monocle. Wait
Speaker 3: is that r Yes?
Speaker 1: That was good her peanut detective days. I miss that
Speaker 1: Madonna once again. Imagine her with thick glasses, learning about
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories on the internet, wearing a robe, but she's
Speaker 1: still on the outside, has the golden funnel bra.
Speaker 3: See it's making a laugh.
Speaker 6: It's how I imagine her always. She'll always be do
Speaker 6: you have any do you have any other business we
Speaker 6: need to address?
Speaker 1: I just to remind I have a show on the
Speaker 1: eighth ticketed online show that I'm gonna try some new
Speaker 1: not necessarily stand end up things on I'll say that
Speaker 1: much what's called it's called. I haven't changed, even though
Speaker 1: the picture is of me looking like an oil lawyer
Speaker 1: of some kind, and.
Speaker 3: It's your own your own individual show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, on the eighth.
Speaker 3: Is it on twitch? Is it on vimeo? Is it what?
Speaker 1: It's nightlight dot TV? It's night light.
Speaker 3: Night light night light TV dot TV?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry everybody?
Speaker 6: That the War on Christmas was coming from inside the
Speaker 6: house was a tweet by Jabooey on Twitter at Jbowie
Speaker 6: just so, just so credit is due.
Speaker 1: All right, well let's go with thanks everybody. Yeah, thanks
Speaker 1: everyone listening you've been listening to. Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need a ride? D y n d y
Speaker 3: n A r R?
Speaker 1: Is that harmonized?
Speaker 2: I leave you wanna way back either way, there doesn't
Speaker 2: matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time and
Speaker 2: a terminol and gay. We want to send you off
Speaker 2: in style.
Speaker 3: Do you want to welcome you back home? Tell us
Speaker 3: all about ity scared? He was it fine?
Speaker 2: Melbourne?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: To ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need.
Speaker 1: With Karen and Kress
Speaker 2: M m hmm