WEBVTT - Stuck in a Creative BLOCK? THIS X-Minute Practice Will Unlock Your Creativity (This Quick Daily Act Will Help You Feel Inspired Again!) With Amie McNee 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.400 Literally the day I started journaling, I haven't stopped, and 0:00:03.640 --> 0:00:07.320 everything changed because I allow creativity back into my life, 0:00:07.360 --> 0:00:09.840 shame free. I think so many of us are creating, 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:12.040 but we've got so much shame around it. We're not 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:13.640 good enough, it's not making enough money. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:14.760 My parents, you. 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:16.560 Know, really think I should give it up. There's so 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:19.760 many narratives that come with creativity. So many of us 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:22.279 are just being held back, kept small. I want you 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:25.680 to find out what happens when you take perfectionism out 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.080 of the equation and you just let yourself create. 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:31.160 The number one health and wellness podcast. 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:38.159 Stay Shetdy Jay, Sheddy Day, shed Hey everyone, Welcome back 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:40.640 to on Purpose, the place you come to to become 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:44.320 a happier, healthier and more healed. Today's guest is someone 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:46.880 I've been wanting to sit down with for so long. 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:49.320 I have stalked her on Instagram, shared a ton of 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.600 her stuff, showed her work to so many of my 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:55.080 friends and family members because it has deeply impacted me. 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.680 It's a page that I turned to when I feel 0:00:57.720 --> 0:00:59.959 like I need someone to give me a bit of guy, 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:02.800 give me a steer, give me a direction to think 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:05.480 in And I can't wait to introduce her to all 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:10.080 of you. I'm speaking about author, artist, creative, and poet 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:13.120 and so much more. Amy McNee, Please welcome to On 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:16.160 Purpose Amy. Amy. It is so great to have you here. 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:19.840 I'm such a huge fan and I can't wait for 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.840 your new book. We need your art. I think it's 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:26.640 going to be life changing for so many budding creatives, 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.320 people are just starting out, up and coming, and at 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:33.560 the same time established creatives who are trying to rediscover themselves. So, 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.000 as a fan, thank you for being on the show 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.480 and so excited to have this conversation. 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.720 Jay, I'm so grateful. I'm grateful for your art. I'm 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:43.840 so grateful that you make the things that you do, 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:45.760 and I'm just very excited to be here. 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:49.560 I'm trying to remember when I first came across your work, 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:52.680 and I can't remember the exact moment, but I remember 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.520 the feeling I had of swiping through reading some of 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:58.080 your work. You were holding up your pieces of board 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:02.120 or card, and you know, with your thick marker handwriting, 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:04.880 and I was reading it and thinking to myself, how 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:10.160 can someone be saying things that are so sometimes difficult, uncomfortable, 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.679 hard to say, and hard to hear, but doing it 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:16.160 in a way that was so clear and so powerful. 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:20.480 And I wanted to start off by asking you how 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:26.680 do you see people? Are people born creative or can 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:31.480 people become creative? And is everyone in some way creative? 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:33.240 Because I think a lot of people listening right now 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:36.919 are thinking, Jade, this episode isn't for me. I'm not creative, 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:39.960 I'm not an artist. What do I do? 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:42.160 I know when I say, and I say it a lot, 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.440 I say we need your art, and I worry about 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:47.119 the amount of people who are like, oh, not my art. 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:49.280 But I'm like your art, and I think we have 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:52.120 a real We can really pedestal the term art as 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:53.480 to what it is, and we think it's, oh, it's 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:56.320 fine art, or oh it has to be photography or 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.200 a certain type of art. But art comes in so 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:02.480 many different shapes and forms, and we all have a 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.760 capability and a desire to create. It's just that it 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:07.720 looks different for all of us. So when I say 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:10.280 we need your art, like, I mean we need your 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.359 art like we all have a drive and a desire 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:16.560 to make stuff. It's so innate, it's so human. So 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.680 I think we really need to take art off the pedestal. 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:21.160 It's not just for fine arts, although obviously it is, 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:26.880 but it's this. It's podcasting, it's you know, watercolors, it's writing, 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:28.560 it's planting, it's gardening. 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:29.720 It's makeup tutorials. 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:33.840 It's makeup tutorials, it's previews, it's cooking. Like creativity like 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:36.960 sinks into all aspects of our lives and we all 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:38.800 have a thirst for it. And so when I say 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.560 we need your art, I'm talking about you. 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:44.760 Yeah, And I love that you are broadening the definition 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.400 of art. Yeah, because I think you're so right. Like 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.400 growing up, I'm not. I wasn't good at drawing, yeah, 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.560 and so I always thought I was an artistic Yet 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.440 it was so funny. I remember when I was finishing 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:59.760 primary school, elementary school, and I remember we did this 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:03.120 for flection exercise, and it was like, what's your favorite 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.960 subject and what's your worst subject? And I put my 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.680 favorite subject being math because I thought I was a geek, 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.320 but I wasn't. And then I wrote down my worst 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:15.840 subject was art. And then when I went to secondary school, 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:17.919 high school, and when I finished, if you asked me 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:21.040 what my favorite subject was, it was art. And if 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.880 you asked me what my least favorite subject was. It 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:26.000 was math because I had an art teacher called mister 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:30.600 Buckerridge at Q Boys School in Barnet that expanded the 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:33.520 definition of art from day one. And it became about color, 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:38.200 It became about juxtaposition, It became about meaning. It became 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:42.880 about college. It became about imagery, It became about my passions. 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:47.039 It became about all these other things. And I then 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:51.400 made him feel really upset because I sold out and 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:54.000 didn't study art at university, even though I. 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.960 Became in so many ways. You have studied art, you know, 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.000 like you kept that going in there, but it was 0:04:59.080 --> 0:04:59.960 subject to be life. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:01.960 Yeah, but you've brought in that definition for everyone, and 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:05.080 I think that's so needed because you are right. Podcasting 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.080 is art, writing is art, Cooking is art. 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:10.159 Or the way we dress, you know, the way we 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:14.480 express like you can't not create art, And I think 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:17.320 we need to reclaim that word for ourselves. It is 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:19.680 mine and you are an artist in some way, shape 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:20.080 or form. 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:24.279 What happens when we stifle ourselves? So what happens when 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:28.840 you hold back? Sometimes today people even know they're artistic, 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:31.440 maybe they even had a little skill when they were younger. 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.679 Maybe they were passionate, maybe even now in their spare time, 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.200 but they're blocking themselves. They're stifling themselves because they've heard 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.720 things like, well, that won't get you a career, that 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.719 won't pay the bills, that's not going to make you money, 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:47.000 that's not a real job. And by the way, I 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.760 heard all those things growing up. So it feels very 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:53.719 familiar to me what happens to us when we stifle 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:55.120 ourselves and block ourselves. 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:57.280 Yeah, I mean, if you will indulge me, I'll tell 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.039 you a bit of my story because I feel like 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:01.680 and exactly as you said, you've experienced this, Like all 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.000 I wanted to do was tell stories, Like it's all 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.479 I wanted to do, whether it was through acting or writing, 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.360 I just felt like driven to express myself through storytelling. 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:13.440 And once I left school, I was like, Okay, I'm 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:15.599 going to take this seriously, like I really want to 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.039 commit to this. And you know, from the age of 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:20.680 eighteen to the age of like, you know, really recently, 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:25.360 like I was inundated with it's childlike, it's irresponsible, it's 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:29.920 foolish to take the creative arts seriously, and I ended 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.760 up with severe depression. I was so low because I 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.200 was so embarrassed by this extraordinarily strong desire to tell stories, 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.719 like I just wanted to tell stories, and I felt 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:42.000 so ashamed about it, and I felt like I couldn't 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:46.080 be a real adult, I couldn't grow, and so I 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.799 withheld my creativity and I felt incredible amounts of shame 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:51.720 and I felt so embarrassed, and I didn't want to 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.800 talk about it with anybody, and it resulted in me 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:57.400 being ridiculously depressed. I was so low, I had such 0:06:57.480 --> 0:07:00.359 low affect, I had no motivation. So it was like 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.320 a war going on inside me. And half of myself 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.640 was like, I have to tell stories, like I am 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.960 here to create, to make art and to impact the 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.000 world with my art. And then the other half of 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:12.720 me was like, this is so irresponsible. Why can't you 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.760 be a real adult, Why can't you just grow up, 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.960 like get a real job, And that duality and that 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:20.680 war within me left me like broken. And it wasn't 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.680 until I started journaling and I started seeing the stories 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:25.920 that I was telling myself, and I was like this, 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.640 I cannot live this way, and so I started rewriting 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:30.960 them like with my pen on the pages of my 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:34.040 journal and I allowed art back into my life, like 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:37.400 shame free art, and like since literally the day I 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:41.960 started journaling, I haven't stopped and everything changed because I 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.680 allowed creativity back into my life. Shame free. 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:46.880 Wow, I love that. I love this and a shame 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:47.440 free art. 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:48.520 It's so important. 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.080 I think so many of us are creating, but we've 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.320 got so much shame around it. We're not good enough, 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.920 it's not making enough money. My parents, you know, really 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:58.280 think I should give it up. There's so many narratives 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.840 that come with creativity, and so many of us are 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:03.560 just being held back, kept small. 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.800 Yeah, we need shame free art. 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.560 How did you get the courage to allow art back in? 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:12.040 Especially when you're in a dark place like you're saying 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:15.920 you're experiencing depression, You're hearing all this negativity around you 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:19.160 about the relevance of your art and the value of 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.880 your art. How do you in that place go, I'm 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:24.480 going to turn to art because it's the one thing 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:28.040 that's been villainized and made to seem negative. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.800 Yeah, it was through journally. It was a complete narrative shift. 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:33.800 So I would write out the stories that I was 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.480 telling myself. So why can't you get a real job. 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.040 Why do you think this is possible? This is so embarrassing. 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:42.400 You've got hundreds of rejection letters from publishers. No one's 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:44.440 listening to you. And then I would write it all 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.720 out so I could witness the stories I was telling myself, 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:48.720 like I needed to see the amount of shame I 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:50.839 was in because and it would shock me, like I 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:52.520 would reread what I was writing and I was like, 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:55.240 my brain is like a place of just like violence 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.480 and vitriol, like I'm speaking so terribly to myself and 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.040 to my inner artist. And then at the end of 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.719 my journaling session, I would be like, Okay, well, how 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.960 do I want to sound? And I call it mothering myself. 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:09.840 It's like a reparenting exercise. And I would just be like, 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:11.760 you know what, and I'd treat myself like a baby, 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:12.920 and I'd be like, baby. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.040 Girl, you are here to tell stories. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.160 I am so proud of you. I'm proud of the 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:18.720 way that you are showing up. I am proud of 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:23.080 the way that you were rebelling against society's expectation. You 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.840 are being put on this earth to make art, to create, 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:27.520 and I'm so proud of. 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:28.079 What you're doing. 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.120 And so no matter how much I like spewed out 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.480 crap and there was so much in a critic rubbish 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:34.840 on the pages, I always ended it with this voice 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:38.320 that was like, Okay, but I'm actually really proud of you. 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.720 You know, you are here to make art and you're 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:42.480 on the path. I used to tell that to myself 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:44.400 all the time. You're on the path, You're on the path. 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.400 So yeah, it was it was through words, which is 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.240 so appropriate, I guess for me as an author. 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:53.199 Yeah, but it's so interesting that that wasn't a learned 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.160 technique or it was that just happened. Yeah, yeah, someone 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:58.200 that came from within. But now it's practice people can 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:01.040 follow through. And I love that repetition of you are 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:05.240 on the path, because I think that's so so true 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.640 in that we think that we're either off the path 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:13.160 or on the path, and we think that we're either 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.560 going in the wrong direction or the right direction, rather 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:19.440 than just recognizing that you're on the path either way. 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:22.400 And I've done this often, and I've seen a lot 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.560 of people do it where we go. You know, up 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:26.440 until last year, I was it was just a mess, 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:30.320 and then I figured it out, which basically devalues all 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:33.560 of that experience, all of that pain, all of that stress, 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:36.440 all of the amazing journey you've had that brought you 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:40.560 to that point that actually inspires empowers this path. But 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:42.560 you're like, now I'm on the right path. And so 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.600 we have this way of devaluing past experiences, even when 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:47.560 we say, oh, I had this light bulb moment and 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.400 then everything changed, and it's like, well, no, all of 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.200 that got you to the light bulb experience. 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:54.600 Yeah, I love that. Jay. 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.080 Something I say to myself is that, yeah, I mean again, 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:00.720 I repeat it all the time. You are on the path. 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:01.960 You are on the path. You are on the path. 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:05.319 But it would have been so easy for me to say, oh, 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.200 I figured it out. Now I've got the publishing deal. 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:10.440 Now you know, I get to have an audience, and 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.200 now I figured it out. But I actually owe everything 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.800 to the girl that navigated silence, to the girl that 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:19.520 navigated rejection, to the girl that had so much shame, 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.040 Like when I think about how I got here, I 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:24.719 owe everything to her. And I tell that to her. 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.760 Artists all the time, because you know, so many artists 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.840 we are navigating. You know, we're sharing stuff on social media. 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:33.520 No one's seeing it, No one's liking it. We're, you know, 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:35.560 daring to put our art out for sale. No one 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:37.880 wants to buy it. We are learning new crafts, we're 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:42.880 being so vulnerable, and you, your future version of yourself, 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:45.520 owes everything to you for daring to be brave, for 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.120 being courageous, for taking up space even when no one 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.040 else is listening or no one else is watching, like 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:53.280 I right here on the J Shaddy Show. Owe everything 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:56.360 to the girl who was sitting at a cafe extraordinarily 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.800 depressed but saying, you know what, I'm going to dare 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.280 to write today even though nobody else wants me to write. 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.800 I love that. I so love that, because you made 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:09.240 me think of I remember when I started out, and 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:13.360 I think the first two presentations I gave pretty much 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.760 no one showed up. And then for years I was 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:19.240 doing events for five people, ten people, and I loved it. 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.480 And actually I was so lucky because social media kind 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.360 of kicked off a bit later than when I would 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:27.280 have done that, so I never even had the pressure 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.079 or the belief that more than five to ten people 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:33.000 could come, because maybe I'd seen twenty people in a room, 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.520 or fifty people in a room, or one hundred people 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:38.120 in a room, and so to me, one hundred was 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:39.120 a big number. 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:39.520 Yeah. 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:41.599 And I was talking to someone just a couple of 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.319 days ago, and they're a creator, and they were saying, like, Jeae, 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:46.880 I just feel this pressure of scale, and I feel 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:49.240 this pressure of like, not enough people have seen my work. 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:51.760 And I was just thinking, you know, whether I had 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.800 five people in the room, ten people, one hundred, or 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.280 you know, whatever it is now, I was always just 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.840 happy and grateful to be with whoever was in the room, 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:02.080 and so now I feel that same. And I know 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.040 it's easy for me. It sounds easy for me to 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.000 say it now, and it's hard for me to reflect 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.199 back from the external view of whether people believe me 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.920 or not. But I can honestly say that I remember 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:13.640 just wanting to spend the whole evening with the five 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.880 people who turned up and answer their questions and share 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:19.520 with them insights, and it was so beautiful and valuable 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:24.160 and meaningful that that's what gave me the practice. It's 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:28.200 what gave me the ability to understand different people's challenges 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.040 and stresses, and everything that I've been able to create 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:35.080 here is only because of that experience. It wasn't that 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:38.640 I'm different now and I'm better now and I mastered something. 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.760 It wasn't that it was all part of the same path. 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:42.360 Yeah. 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:45.200 We owe everything to that version of Jay, you know, 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.760 and we get to experience you now because you did 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.520 and you enjoyed and you loved doing that work earlier on. 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:51.600 Yeah. I love that. 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.560 Yeah. I feel like so many people are probably listened 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.880 to this right now, going Amy J I have an idea. Yeah, Like, 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:00.680 I have something in my head that really makes sense, 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.080 but I'm scared to put it out there. And I'm 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.000 sure you hear this all the time, but I see 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:10.480 the fear of judgment and the fear of your art 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.680 being shamed, and the fear of people thinking it's silly, 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:18.320 not good enough, as being such a blocker for people, 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:23.160 And I wanted to ask you how do you help 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.960 people overcome that fear, because it seems to be the 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.640 biggest wall in the way of people and their dreams. 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:31.160 I mean, there's so many different ways we can look 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:32.880 at this. First of all, I'm so excited that you 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.720 have an idea, like this is so exciting. 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:35.480 Let's cherish it. 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:37.400 We need to take care of it because I like 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.960 that I'm really being serious, like, we need your art, 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.160 we need your expression, we need you to take up space. 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.720 There are people out there in the world who need 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.040 what you have to create, and if you choose to 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.720 withhold it, they will never get to experience it. Like 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:52.160 you are a one time phenomenon that will never ever 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.400 be seen again. And if you choose not to take 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.160 action on this idea, then that's done. That idea is 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:00.600 done eternally, will never be seen. And again, I just 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.680 want to really enforce that because it can be so 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:04.960 easy to be so flippant, Oh, it's just an idea. 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.160 It was never going to go anywhere. These ideas are 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.000 so precious and we need to take care of them. 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.920 The judgment thing, misunderstanding, the oh my god, what's that 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.240 dude from high school going to think of me? It 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:19.840 is so valid because art is so vulnerable. Creativity is 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:22.440 like pouring a little bit of you into an external 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:25.280 thing and giving it to the world. Like that's super vulnerable, 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.240 and so I want to validate that feeling of oh 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.320 my god, what will people think of me? Art is 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:32.720 a courageous exercise. It is so vulnerable, it is so scary, 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.000 and it's okay that we have these feelings. I think 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:36.560 there are several things that we can do. I think 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:38.280 the first one is come home to a truth, is 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:42.200 that you will be misunderstood and you will be judged, 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:47.280 and it's still worth making the art. I can't let 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:50.200 some random guy from high school stop me from doing 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:53.560 my work, and I almost did. When I decided I 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.760 wanted to really start taking up space as a writer. 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.200 I was like, Okay, I'm going to start like an Instagram. 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:01.720 I'm going to start sharing my words. And I was like, no, 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.240 I can't. It's so cringey. And I was like that 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.280 guy from high school, like Ben from high school, or 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.480 like I kept thinking of these random people, They're going 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:09.760 to see me and they're going to be like, who 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:12.720 does she think she is? And it stopped me in 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.080 my tracks for ages. And I just love that version 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:19.000 of myself because she was so brave and she decided, no, 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.480 I want this life. I want to tell stories. And 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.600 so I started inspired to write, started my Instagram and 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.840 I blocked every single person I could find, and I 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:29.960 sat there for hours being like they would stop me 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.280 showing up, they would stop me showing up. And I 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.920 created a cocoon for myself to become the artist that 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:38.720 I needed to be, And so I think, first of all, 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:40.640 we do need to understand that we will be misunderstood, 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:43.560 and that is safe to be misunderstood. But second of 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:45.720 all that we can take precautions to make sure that 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.920 we are that we have spaces to create and that 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.080 feel as safe as possible. But creation itself will never 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:55.760 be safe. It's inherently risky, and that's why it's inherently rewarding. 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:58.680 I love that. I love that you actually had a 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:03.160 physical way I was having a block, and I think 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.280 we don't think about it that way. Sometimes we think 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:09.119 that we should have got over that feeling first, like 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.240 I should be over the fact that my parents think 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.399 this is a bad idea before I create, and it's like, well, no, 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.840 you're probably gonna have to create while they think it's about. 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:17.280 It my good. 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.600 We can't become like fully actualized before we create art. 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.119 And art's going to reveal all of your lightness but 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:24.960 also a lot of your darkness. So there's going to 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:26.760 be so many things that come up as you dare 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.040 to do the brave thing and create stuff, like you're 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:30.520 going to see a lot of narratives you're going to 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:33.840 see a lot of insecurities because again, making art so vulnerable, 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:35.520 you're just going to see a lot of the hard 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:38.280 things within you and you can't wait till they're healed 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:41.720 to begin creating. So yeah, do what you need to do. 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:44.520 And for me, I needed to block every single person 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.840 I could think of, and now everyone's unblocked. But I 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.560 needed that space away from eyes. I didn't want their 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:54.000 perception of who they thought I was to interrupt my 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.159 journey of who I was becoming, and so I claimed 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.920 space for myself. And I invite artists to, however, look 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:01.919 put boundaries in place so that you can do this 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.560 work and you can feel as safe as possible. And no, 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.240 you can't protect yourself entirely, but you can do a 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:09.960 little bit so that you've you know, feel a little 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:12.080 more comfortible and more cozy as you do the brave 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:14.520 thing and start you know, making some ideas. 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.919 Yeah, I feel some of us have this feeling of 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.840 I wish the people who loved me believed in me. 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:26.520 Oh yeah right, And I feel as artists, because you 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:28.600 can have a softer heart, you're more empathetic, you're more 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:31.360 in tune with some of these emotions and feelings. There's 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.639 a sense of why don't you believe in me? And 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:35.639 if you believed in me, I could do it. And 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:37.760 if you believed in me, then I might get there. 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.320 And if you believed in me, then I'd feel better 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.360