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Speaker 1: Wind Down and Michael Colin and I'm her radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: All right, so this is a big week coming up.

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Speaker 1: I start filming on Monday. We're officially out of quarantine.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to film. Yeah, I think we all are.

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Speaker 1: I mean that in like you know we're talking about

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Speaker 1: we're out of quarantine. It's like, okay, now the work begins,

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Speaker 1: right now, it starts, and so you know, I'm excited

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Speaker 1: for you to work. I'm excited for the project you're

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Speaker 1: doing because it's different you. Um, I'm excited to come,

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Speaker 1: to say it. I'm excited to bring the kids and everything.

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Speaker 1: So it's if they let the kids come, I hope.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know, but we have a treat. We

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Speaker 1: do have a treat and I'm trying to pull it

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Speaker 1: up right now because i want to just like be

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Speaker 1: one thousand percent on it and I'm not on it

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Speaker 1: this morning because okay here, So I think it was

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Speaker 1: what it was the other day. Um, you were kind

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Speaker 1: of having like your own um, your own time, and

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Speaker 1: I was doing my thing and I was just a

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Speaker 1: rare rarely go on Twitter, like rarely rarely. Um, but

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Speaker 1: I follow pres Hilton and I saw this thing from him.

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Speaker 1: So basically something that we talked about on one of

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Speaker 1: these podcasts about I think it was when we were

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Speaker 1: talking with Lisa Turkerist and what we were saying, you know,

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Speaker 1: I trust you today and then basically just saying so

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Speaker 1: the headline was Jane Kramer still doesn't fully trust husband

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Speaker 1: Mike Cousin after cheating scandal, and then his comment was

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Speaker 1: just get divorced already. So I was just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: feeling a little spicy on a little froggy, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, no, So I re quoted it back and said,

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Speaker 1: when you don't know the ins and out about addiction

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Speaker 1: in the work we continue to do, you shouldn't speak

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Speaker 1: on it. We are open because we're helping people do

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Speaker 1: the work to become stronger like we have. So no, thanks,

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Speaker 1: not going to divorce a good man and back. And

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Speaker 1: then he said, but how can you stay in your

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Speaker 1: relationship when you don't trust him? Which I get it,

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Speaker 1: it's a very valid but I never said I don't

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Speaker 1: trust you. I just said I trust you today, and

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Speaker 1: which kind of just got me thinking a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: And then I kind of went on a little Twitter rant.

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Speaker 1: I went a little like crazy Twitter ran and I

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Speaker 1: was just like, apparently everyone has a picture perfect relationship

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Speaker 1: s mh. And then I was just like scratching my head.

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Speaker 1: And then it was like, you know it shaking your head? Okay,

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Speaker 1: well either scratching. I think it's scratching. Is it? Is

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Speaker 1: it shaking? Okay? I guess I'm the only person. I

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Speaker 1: thought I was scratching by it. Yeah, they are. They're

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Speaker 1: all affirming you in the comments, and Eastern just said, wow,

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Speaker 1: so that's okay. Well I thought it was scratching because

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like home than scratching FML forget my lunch,

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Speaker 1: you know me, I always scratching my head like home,

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Speaker 1: like come on a little bit, this is amazing. I

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Speaker 1: guess not. Well that's fantastic. Fl forgot my lunch, I

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Speaker 1: forgot my launch FML. Okay. Well anyways, so I was

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Speaker 1: scratching my head, I put us MH. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know what, why don't you just say

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Speaker 1: it to our faces? You know, if you want to

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Speaker 1: tell us a good divorce, let's come on a podcast

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Speaker 1: and talk because and then he basically said to in

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Speaker 1: another comment, he said, um, he said basically that we

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Speaker 1: do it for attention and headlines, and that one really

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Speaker 1: bothered me. I didn't say anything to him, though he

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Speaker 1: was it's the podcast that fuels all these headlines. They

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Speaker 1: were feel intimate details and thoughts for listenership and attention. Interesting.

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Speaker 1: So I kind of want to have a conversation about

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Speaker 1: that because I wouldn't. I don't. We don't do this, like,

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Speaker 1: it's not like we want. Well, here's here's what I want,

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Speaker 1: because it's not for attention. The only attention that I

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Speaker 1: would say i'd want is for someone to say they're

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Speaker 1: working on their marriage. How awesome is that? But here's

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Speaker 1: the deal. Who would click on that? Right? That's not clickbait.

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Speaker 1: That's why we don't write the tabloid headings. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: they just pick the like she still doesn't trust them.

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Speaker 1: Right if we were to write the tabloy headings back that, Wow,

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Speaker 1: they're fighting for their marriage. It's going great, Like that's

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Speaker 1: what we were, right. Yeah, Well but I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just thought it'd be interesting to bring him on

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Speaker 1: and to talk about kind of clickbait stuff and you know,

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Speaker 1: get because he thinks we're hot messes. So I think

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Speaker 1: it's just something where we can I don't want to

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Speaker 1: sell ourselves, but I also wanna, you know, get to

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Speaker 1: know us before you write about Let's okay, welcome for

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Speaker 1: a Silton. Hello, Hello Perez, Hello, how are you? I

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Speaker 1: am very happy. It's a good day today because it's

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Speaker 1: my son's birthday. He's eight, and also yesterday was their

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Speaker 1: first day back at school in eleven months. So that's

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Speaker 1: a good day for you, right, I had my three

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Speaker 1: kids at home for eleven months, and what are the

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Speaker 1: ages for the kids? Well, my son just turned eight today,

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Speaker 1: and my middle child she's almost six, and my youngest

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Speaker 1: is three. And I just know that they missed their friends,

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Speaker 1: They missed getting out of the house. Uh. They don't

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Speaker 1: focus as while at home to get so easily distracted.

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Speaker 1: And you know, eventually they'll catch up with learning. But

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Speaker 1: it's not just the learning and academics is everything else,

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Speaker 1: The socializing with friends safely that they're now doing. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's everything, and I'm just so relieved. I feel bad though,

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Speaker 1: because even some schools in Los Angeles have not opened yet.

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Speaker 1: Mine is one of the later ones, and there's still

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Speaker 1: a lot more that haven't opened yet. Uh. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: have so our kids are We have a five year

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Speaker 1: old Jolie, and then we have a two year old Jason.

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Speaker 1: They go to half days to preschool. But even so,

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Speaker 1: I started to feel guilty because child the preschools are

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Speaker 1: pretty much open in Nashville. So but so I felt

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Speaker 1: a little guilty. But at the same time, I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: I need those We need those two days to like

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Speaker 1: have some sanity and get work done and and and

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Speaker 1: live our life too. Yeah, like you're saying, pereas, the

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Speaker 1: kids need those days, they need those that you know,

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Speaker 1: familiarity with a routine and getting to no kids and

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Speaker 1: and playing with other kids other than just mom and

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Speaker 1: dad all the time. Make the most of it. But

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Speaker 1: that is not why we have you on here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's get to it, so correct me if I'm wrong.

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Speaker 1: But in many ways, your podcast is kind of like

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Speaker 1: a reality TV show, right, Yeah, in theory, it kind

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Speaker 1: of is because it is a look into our daily

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Speaker 1: lives where we don't really hold back on our experiences

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Speaker 1: with each other and with things that we do with

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Speaker 1: in our life. So yeah, that's safe to say. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So when you open yourselves up like this, it's I

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Speaker 1: think an invitation for people to listen and participate and

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Speaker 1: have opinions. So you know I have opinions, but I'll

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Speaker 1: park my opinions for a side and say this and

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Speaker 1: once again correct me if I'm wrong. I would guess

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Speaker 1: if all of a sudden some billionaire said, you know,

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Speaker 1: I listened to your podcast and I love what you

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Speaker 1: guys do, and I want you to just not have

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Speaker 1: to do it if you don't want to, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: give you a hundred million dollars. Go with me. If

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden you've got a hundred million dollars

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Speaker 1: offered to you, would you continue doing your podcast as

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Speaker 1: it is now? Yes, he doesn't believe you. Why because

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Speaker 1: here's the thing. It's and we've gotten a comment before

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Speaker 1: like that you have said about attention or money or

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Speaker 1: whatever from us sharing our story. And for us, we're like,

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Speaker 1: if that's the case, where's the money, because we ain't

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Speaker 1: seeing it. Well. I mean, podcast is doing good, right,

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Speaker 1: but it's not our it's not our bread and butter.

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Speaker 1: It's not what keeps the roof of our head right.

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Speaker 1: As much as it annoying as it is at times

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Speaker 1: and hurt flat times for people to say maybe negative comments,

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Speaker 1: I mean we're used to it. Whatever it's happens that

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Speaker 1: one person or those couple of people that come to us.

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Speaker 1: Actually it's not a couple, it's a lot that come

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Speaker 1: to us and say, y'all being so open has really

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Speaker 1: helped my marriage, has really helped my relationship, or is

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Speaker 1: allowed me to be more honest with my spouse or

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Speaker 1: my partner those moments or those moments when we did

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Speaker 1: our live shows and we'd have couples crying to us

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Speaker 1: being like, you know, what you guys are doing are helping,

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Speaker 1: is helping our relationship. That's intangible, that's priceless. You can't

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Speaker 1: put a you know, uh, you can't put you can't

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Speaker 1: monetize that. You know, it's just something that means so

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Speaker 1: much to us. And because we've been able to have

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Speaker 1: a platform to receive that. So the flip side to

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Speaker 1: that question is has doing the podcast helped or hurt

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Speaker 1: your relationship? It's a good question. So I will say

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Speaker 1: in the very beginning, it was the podcast was huge.

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Speaker 1: It was because you know, we were still in the

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Speaker 1: healing process and we were doing the and he didn't

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Speaker 1: want to talk about it, like I had written a

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Speaker 1: book before, you know, we did a book together, and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about my abusive relationship that I

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Speaker 1: was in. I wanted to talk about, you know, finding

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Speaker 1: out about the affairs and and he was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want you to and he he ripped it up,

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Speaker 1: ripped up all the pages and was just like, you

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Speaker 1: are not putting this out. And I'm like, Michael, here's

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Speaker 1: what you don't understand. I was like, people are going

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Speaker 1: to write that you cheated about me in every single

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Speaker 1: article that comes out there. It's always going to be there.

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Speaker 1: The headline will always say, well, he, you know, cheated

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Speaker 1: on her, and that's what it's gonna be. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I want to change the narrative. I want to say,

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Speaker 1: look at how they've you know, grown and they're working together.

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Speaker 1: But also because when he cheated on me and he

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Speaker 1: went to rehab, I had nothing. I had no books

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Speaker 1: to read that I could relate to. I had nothing.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I need to know that I am

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Speaker 1: not the only person out there that has that feels

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Speaker 1: completely alone, devastated and still wants to stay with him

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Speaker 1: because I love them like that. I still I want hope,

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Speaker 1: somebody please give me some hope that I feel like

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Speaker 1: I can stay with this man. Even though I freaking

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Speaker 1: hate him, but I still love them? How many years

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Speaker 1: ago was that now? Five and a half years ago?

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Speaker 1: Five years ago, five years ago that you went that

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Speaker 1: was discovery? So I saw recently that you said you

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Speaker 1: still don't trust him five years later. Maybe I heard

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Speaker 1: that out of context, Um, is there some trust, a

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Speaker 1: little trust, no trust? Because I was just thinking, like, God,

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Speaker 1: if five years later there's still no trust, or there is,

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Speaker 1: you don't trust him five years later, get divorced, and

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Speaker 1: I still stand behind that statement, Like I couldn't. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I would be walking on eggshells, like hiring

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Speaker 1: private detectives, and would that make me happy? Like I'd

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Speaker 1: rather be alone and be single and coparent healthily as

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Speaker 1: friends wish that former partner of my nothing but the best,

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Speaker 1: And I'm all for rebuilding trust. But when I heard

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Speaker 1: five years later, are you still don't trust him? Like

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Speaker 1: my head explode. Okay, So here's the thing for that.

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Speaker 1: I'm one thousand percent on the same page with you.

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Speaker 1: I agree with you on that. When I've talked to

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Speaker 1: my therapist about trust, and that's been one of the

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Speaker 1: hardest things for me too, because I do I do

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Speaker 1: trust you. I do trust my husband. The problem is

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Speaker 1: is that because he is an addict, he can never

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Speaker 1: say that he'll never do something again. Now, Perez, if

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Speaker 1: something happens again, I'm I'm out, Like there's only so

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Speaker 1: much that I can personally handle. And he knows that.

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Speaker 1: And and the thing is too it hasn't been like

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Speaker 1: a completely clean I haven't had a clean, you know,

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Speaker 1: slate from five years ago. I've done things along the

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Speaker 1: way physically, not physically, but I've done things to still

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Speaker 1: um give her reasons not to trust me along the

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Speaker 1: along the timeline of five years. So it's not like

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Speaker 1: ever since five years ago, I haven't told one line.

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Speaker 1: My behavior has been completely different, Like I've never done

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Speaker 1: anything to you know, mess anything up. It's we've I've

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Speaker 1: had my bumps, you know, I've had my bumps and recovery,

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Speaker 1: I've had my bumps or whatever. Yes, I've never acted

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Speaker 1: out outside of our relationships, you know, since all that happened.

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Speaker 1: But you know, there's still a reason why it's that way.

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Speaker 1: And it's hard because I have times like you're saying, Perez,

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Speaker 1: where I'm like, you know, in my head, I want

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Speaker 1: to be like it was five years ago, But then

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Speaker 1: I have to remind myself, well, I've done things to

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Speaker 1: cause mistrust, you know, along the road, and I think

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Speaker 1: what I'll say to to that is, you know, there

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Speaker 1: was a time after our all that stuff where I

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Speaker 1: told my therapist, I go, all I do is just

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Speaker 1: look at his phone and I hate it and I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do it and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: live my life like this. And then she goes, then

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Speaker 1: stop stop doing those things, and you're just going to

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Speaker 1: have to let it go. And it's on him, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you have to start trusting him. So that's why

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Speaker 1: I say, And what was a little out of context

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Speaker 1: with that uh An interview was I said, I do

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Speaker 1: trust him today because I see he's showing up. He's

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Speaker 1: in recovery work, he's doing, you know, he's he's showing

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Speaker 1: up today as a husband, as a man, and in recovery. Tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: I pray to God he does, but I can't control

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Speaker 1: his recovery. I'm just gonna wake up tomorrow and I'm

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Speaker 1: going to trust him until he basically, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: something would happen. So Janet, you've been you've been speaking

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Speaker 1: to your therapist. I would assume now for a while.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious, since you know your podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: being open. You mentioned a few moments ago that prior

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Speaker 1: to being with Michael, you were in an abusive relationship.

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Speaker 1: Did that one affect your desire to stay in this one,

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Speaker 1: which from the outside might not seem like the most

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Speaker 1: healthy for you. Is that something that you've talked about

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Speaker 1: with your therapists we have. Well, here here's a little

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Speaker 1: tidbit too. I actually met him at the coffee being

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Speaker 1: on Sunset and Fairfax, which was the same one that

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Speaker 1: you would sit at, because I would go to that

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Speaker 1: Sunset and acts coffee bean every day for like six years,

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Speaker 1: because I was living on that side of the hill.

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Speaker 1: And I just remember too, like you were just in

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Speaker 1: your computer, like chilling at the you know. And I

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Speaker 1: remember my friend Diana was like, that's Press Hilton. He's

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Speaker 1: a you know, and I was like, that's Perez Hilton.

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Speaker 1: But I ended up I met um. I met my

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Speaker 1: abuser at that coffee bean, and you know, we've done

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Speaker 1: a lot of work around that. I thought you met

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Speaker 1: your therapist. I was smiling. Oh my god, I would

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Speaker 1: not have been smiling if that's where you. If I

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Speaker 1: knew you met your abuser there like um, no, no,

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Speaker 1: so I met I met him there, And I will

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Speaker 1: say it was I've done a lot of work with

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Speaker 1: my therapist around that, and honestly, I will say the

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Speaker 1: first reason that I stayed and this is not the

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Speaker 1: reason to stay at all, but it was for my daughter.

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Speaker 1: Um I had a five month old at the time.

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Speaker 1: And and here's the crazy thing was when he was

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Speaker 1: in a rehab As much as I hated him, I

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Speaker 1: still wanted to I wanted to read his letters. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to see what he had to say. And I

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Speaker 1: will never advocate for staying in a bad relationship. If

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Speaker 1: he was continuing to act out physically and breaking boundaries

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Speaker 1: and lying to seven, I am the first person to say,

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Speaker 1: get out, you don't like you deserve better than that.

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Speaker 1: If he were to ever hit me. I will never

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Speaker 1: stay in a relationship where I'm physically, mentally, verbally abused.

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Speaker 1: I just can't stand for that. And so I have

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Speaker 1: stayed a lot, first and foremost for my kids. But

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Speaker 1: I also am at the point now where I know

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Speaker 1: my worth, I know what I deserve, and you know

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Speaker 1: I won't stand for anything else. But there was also

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Speaker 1: that love there that I you know, I know, I

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Speaker 1: knew he wanted to be a better man, and he

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Speaker 1: just just took him a little while to get there.

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Speaker 1: So I'm curious because you're so open, and I love that.

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Speaker 1: I'm very open to you could ask me anything. I

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Speaker 1: love talking to very open people because not often you

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Speaker 1: get that. So, you know, you talk about your relationship

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Speaker 1: up a lot on the podcast. I don't even listen

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Speaker 1: to my own podcast, Okay, so don't take it personal.

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Speaker 1: I listened to no podcast and I have one UM,

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Speaker 1: what is Michael's relationship with porn? Is it something that

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Speaker 1: you allow? Is that like a trigger for him? Is

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Speaker 1: it not allowed? I'm curious. So for me, that's that's

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Speaker 1: not in my Uh yeah, that's or that's in my circle.

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Speaker 1: So that's something that I stay away from. UM now

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Speaker 1: with the program on part of with essay, it's you know,

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Speaker 1: it's one of those things. It's kind of a user's choice.

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Speaker 1: It is up to certain people if that's a behavior

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Speaker 1: that they talk about with their sponsor, with their therapist,

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Speaker 1: if it's something that they need to watch out for.

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Speaker 1: For me, it is a trigger button for me. It

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Speaker 1: is an escalator. It is something that I used to

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Speaker 1: escape reality. It's something that I used to mask feelings

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Speaker 1: and emotions that I I didn't know how to express. So

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Speaker 1: for me, it's a non negotiable. It's out of my life,

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Speaker 1: it's out of our relation and ship, and that's what

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Speaker 1: we decided. That's what I decided. Um, you know. But

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Speaker 1: we're not against other people using it. We're you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just our story and that's the stuff that we're

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Speaker 1: staying away from. But we understand that people use it

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Speaker 1: and we don't care if other people bring it into

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Speaker 1: their relationship. It's just not part of not a part

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Speaker 1: of ours, because it's something where if you did, it's

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Speaker 1: the addict that could potentially set it to be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: well this was fun, but now I want to take

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Speaker 1: the next step. And now because it's a medicator for me,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's it's just like a drug. It's

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Speaker 1: just like anything else. It was my medicator. Well it's

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Speaker 1: a medicator for me too, But I don't really it

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Speaker 1: doesn't make me want to do more. I'm just grateful actually,

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, I get to take care of

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Speaker 1: business in ten minutes or less. I'm done, and that's it.

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Speaker 1: Because you know, I have not been intimate with anybody

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Speaker 1: in five years. Five years For gay men, that's like

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Speaker 1: dog gears, like I haven't been intimate with somebody in

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Speaker 1: like thirty years or forty years, because gay men are

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Speaker 1: the most from miscuous of anybody, and and and wonderfully so,

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Speaker 1: because I was living in New York City for a

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Speaker 1: period of time there and it was just so much

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Speaker 1: easier than you know, there's so many more gay men there,

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Speaker 1: so there's a volume, and there's also more gay men

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Speaker 1: that shared similar interests, like all of the theater actors

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Speaker 1: and people that work in fashion, and it was just

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Speaker 1: easier to be spontaneous and hey, you want to meet

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Speaker 1: for a drink or you want to hook up or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. And then I moved back to Los

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Speaker 1: Angeles and the one dating site that I was using

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Speaker 1: in New York it worked in New York. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: getting results here. I don't even care, I'll share, I'm

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Speaker 1: not getting paid. I don't even use it anymore. It

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Speaker 1: was okay Cupid, and I liked Okay Cupid because they

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Speaker 1: have a website and I don't want I I think,

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Speaker 1: I don't even think I am an addict as well,

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Speaker 1: in different ways, like I'm addicted to food, I'm addicted.

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Speaker 1: I'm addicted to work, like seriously addicted to work. And

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Speaker 1: I talked about that with my therapist, and I've been

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Speaker 1: setting boundaries from myself and really forcing myself to get

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Speaker 1: more sleep, you know, the coffee being years and for actually,

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Speaker 1: up until last year, I would only get about five

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Speaker 1: hours of sleep at night, not much. So I moved

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Speaker 1: back to l A and okay, Cupid wasn't working for

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Speaker 1: me here and I just didn't. I don't, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm fine masturbating and I kept saying, well, it'll happen

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Speaker 1: when it happens, and it just hasn't happened for five years.

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Speaker 1: And I'm fine, you know, I've got three kids and

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Speaker 1: I'm busy, and it is what it is. But who knows.

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Speaker 1: Maybe if I it's another couple of years, I might

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Speaker 1: even hire an escort. I'm not against that gay men

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Speaker 1: do that. I'm not quite there yet. I'm not I'm

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Speaker 1: not against it, but I'm not quite there yet. Um.

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Speaker 1: But maybe I don't know, or maybe somebody will listen

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Speaker 1: and be like, well, I'll just put Perez out of

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Speaker 1: his misery and slide into his d M S and

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00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 1: and and you know, help him out. I think also

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Speaker 1: I want to comment to some of your your your

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Speaker 1: your fans and supporters who were saying that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't even have an opinion on relationships because I'm

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Speaker 1: not in a relationship and I haven't been in a while.

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Speaker 1: But I will just say to those people, I think

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Speaker 1: one of the reasons why I'm single and never chose

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Speaker 1: to get married to any of the men that I

385
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Speaker 1: dated for a long period of time was because my parents.

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Speaker 1: They're like one of those storybook romances. They never once fought. Ever,

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Speaker 1: my dad died when I was fourteen, and um, they

388
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Speaker 1: never fought. But not only that, like and this also

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00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 1: hurts a little bit because I've spoken about this with

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Speaker 1: my therapist. My parents didn't even didn't just love each other,

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Speaker 1: they worshiped each other, like my mom worshiped my dad,

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Speaker 1: and my dad worshiped my mom. And if I were

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Speaker 1: to tell my mom right now, I'm we can go

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Speaker 1: back in time to and your son dies or your

395
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Speaker 1: husband dies. I'm pretty sure my mom would have chosen

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Speaker 1: my dad me dying over my father. I'm pretty sure. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm certain of that, Yes, yes, she loved my dad

398
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Speaker 1: more than me. But you know, I believe in I

399
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: believe in true love. But i'm but I'm also aware

400
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Speaker 1: that it's not going to be perfect. Like I may

401
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 1: not have that perfect relationship that my parents had. I

402
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: think I have a healthy relationships, healthy understanding of relationships.

403
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Speaker 1: My thoughts on relationships is that it's a lot like

404
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:46,719
Speaker 1: your body and your health. We all know what it

405
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: takes to be a healthy person. It requires healthy eating

406
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 1: consistently and being active consistently. And even though we all

407
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 1: know that, it's still so hard for so many of

408
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: us to be healthy. But we know what it takes,

409
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: but it's still hard. And I say this as a fatty.

410
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 1: I'm a fatty. Even though right now I may not

411
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Speaker 1: look fatty, I still got the brain of a fat

412
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Speaker 1: person and the genes of a fat person, So you know,

413
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: I think that way. But I put in the work

414
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Speaker 1: on my body and I'm willing to put into work

415
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: in a relationship as well. And I'm excited to not

416
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Speaker 1: just be the one that does all the talking, and

417
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Speaker 1: I'm excited to compromise and where do you want to

418
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 1: go on vacation and all of those things, Well, I

419
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: will say, Perez that you know, for being someone who

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Speaker 1: does what you do and talks about other people in

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Speaker 1: the spotlight or other you know, things that people go through.

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Speaker 1: I do appreciate and respect that you're as open as

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Speaker 1: you are, right because other people are you know, shut

424
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 1: the door when it comes to themselves and just want

425
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: to point to figure out other people. So I do

426
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: respect that about you, and I appreciate about you that

427
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: you're willing to answer the same questions that you ask,

428
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: which is well, I go back also to what I

429
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: asked at the beginning. I want I want an answer

430
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 1: from Jana, because I don't think she said that if

431
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 1: I give you a hundred million, would you keep up

432
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 1: the podcast? Is it? Can I still keep the hundred

433
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 1: million and do the podcast? Or do I have to quit?

434
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: You can still keep the podcast but keep it as

435
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: it is talking about the minutia of your relationships. I

436
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 1: would I would probably even I mean, and we we

437
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,479
Speaker 1: already go like real there, I'd probably even be like,

438
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: let's get our let's do a couple's therapy with our therapists,

439
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 1: because at that point I'm like, I don't care who

440
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 1: says anything. I got more money than anything like because

441
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: because for me, it is about just helping people and

442
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 1: knowing that I am not alone in this struggle. Because

443
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: you know, we did have a few fun because we're

444
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: in we just got out of quarantine, but because I'm

445
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: here filming a movie, and you know, we were fighting

446
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: about just stupid stuff that most relationships fight about. And

447
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 1: you know, I was, I was even looking at Valentine's

448
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: Day post and I'm like, like, I'm mad at you

449
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: right now. I don't want to post this like I

450
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 1: love you so much. I do, but I'm mad at

451
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: you at the moment. And so we posted a silly

452
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: thing of like hey, if anyone else spot today like

453
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,120
Speaker 1: you're not alone, and there's so many people that were

454
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 1: like blowing us up that we're like, oh my gosh,

455
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: thank you because I was feeling like annoyed and now

456
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 1: you know, now we're better. But I saw your post

457
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, so again I'm helping people not

458
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: feel alone. And then it's okay that there isn't a

459
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: perfect relationship because I'm not perfect. Even though I do

460
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: so much therapy. We do so much therapy, and even

461
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: with our book, like we don't do it perfectly. But

462
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: we're better because of the work that we've done, and

463
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 1: this is a better relationship than when I walked down

464
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 1: the aisle to you. I love that, and I guess

465
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 1: the good thing is you know you're both consenting adults.

466
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: I am a very open person, but I've gotten in

467
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: trouble with my family because of that a bit um

468
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: and I justified it at the time by saying, well,

469
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: this is my truth. And I was really hurt by this,

470
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna just a dress it publicly because I

471
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 1: have a podcast and because I have my YouTube channels

472
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: and all of that. So one example which I don't

473
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: talk about my sister anymore because it really hurt her,

474
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 1: but I was really hurt too. So my sister got

475
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: married two years ago, and like I mentioned a few

476
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: moments ago, my dad passed away when I was thirteen

477
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: or fourteen, I don't remember, a long time ago, twenty

478
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: five plus years ago, and my mom walked my sister

479
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: down the aisle. Absolutely absolutely great. I expected that and

480
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 1: wanted that, but my sister didn't have me participate in

481
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: any way other than just walking down the aisle with

482
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 1: my youngest child. I thought, oh, maybe she'd ask me

483
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: to give a quick little toast or maybe she'd ask

484
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: me to have a little dance with her or something.

485
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: And she did nothing. And I gave her ten thousand

486
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: dollars to help pay for the wedding. Not a ton

487
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: of money, but something sizeable, Like, you know, I had

488
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: kids of my own. If it was like, if she

489
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: would have gotten married before I had children, I probably

490
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: would have paid for the whole thing. But now that

491
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: I got kids, you know, here's ten thousand. That's something.

492
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 1: And yeah, and so I made like a big thing

493
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: about it, like I was still hurt by my sister,

494
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: and and then that really hurt her. And now I've realized,

495
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe I shouldn't broadcast everything with people

496
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: in my life that aren't comfortable with that, even if

497
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable broadcasting everything in my own life. Yeah, yeah,

498
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: I mean that's something we deal with, and that's been

499
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: a hot button for me, Like I stay away from

500
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 1: details with family or parents because of that. Right, it's

501
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 1: it's the life that we chose. Well actually, even we

502
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 1: didn't even choose to be this public about it because

503
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,919
Speaker 1: our story was sold. Um, and so we're just like

504
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: Jana said earlier on we're just trying to control the narrative.

505
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 1: But still it's our decision as to consent to adults

506
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: to share this stuff, and our families didn't ask for it,

507
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 1: our families didn't sign up for So we try to

508
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: keep it in the parameters of our relationship with you know,

509
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: just Janna I, and not include other people. What's your question?

510
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: The other question? Oh, my other question? Bring them, but

511
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: kind of not really with you being single now it's

512
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: been five years, you have three kids, is there one?

513
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: Is there someone in your past that you consider the

514
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,919
Speaker 1: one that got away? No, but I did tell my

515
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: therapist that I would love to date that way, like

516
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 1: hit up people that I used today or just to

517
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: hook up with them, Like I'm starting to think that

518
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: like any of my friends that I would hook up

519
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: with or whatever, but not right now. I did actually

520
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 1: have this twenty one year old slide into my d

521
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: m s, which is rare because like nine out of

522
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: ten times or nine point nine out of ten times,

523
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: the people sliding into my d m s are women.

524
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: But this twenty one year old hottie who lives nearby

525
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: is like flirting with me and then even set me

526
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: like some nude pics and I'm like, oh my god,

527
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: if we were not in the middle of a pandemic,

528
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 1: I would so hook up with him. But we're in

529
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: the middle of a pandemic right now, and my mother

530
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: lives with me and she's very high risk, and my

531
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: kids live with me, and he doesn't even live in

532
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. He lives in Orange County, So like, I'd

533
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: have to waste money to go to a hotel and

534
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: and just like be afraid for my mom's health if

535
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: he has COVID or whatever it is. So my follow

536
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: up question to you guys, it is like back and

537
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: forth volleyball. I love it. What does your family think

538
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: about your podcast or do they not even talk about it?

539
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: Like they just let you do it and they don't

540
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: never bring it up. I don't well, I don't think

541
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: my mom listen. I don't think anyone listens actually, because

542
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: I don't think they want to hear, just in case

543
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: if we do talk about because I talked, I've talked

544
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: about my dad and you know, my daddy issues and

545
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 1: but I mean my dad and there are great now,

546
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: but you know he was upset about the book and um,

547
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: and I I've kind of I don't know, I think

548
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: they're afraid to listen and they don't want to know

549
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: too much because they know we have our stuff and

550
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: they don't want to get involved or haven't. I don't know. Yeah,

551
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: I know my mom listened to the on, but um,

552
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: I think you had to Jane's point. I think they

553
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: just kind of want to like no less. And my

554
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: parents are very very private, conservative people, so it was

555
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: an adjustment for them just for my life in general

556
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: to be as public as it is. But then they've

557
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: they've been able to see the positive spin that we

558
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 1: put on things and how we've been able to help people,

559
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: so that's been beneficial. But no, they kind of stay

560
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 1: away from it. And I'll also say to like kind

561
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: of what my kids said we did are when I

562
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: was doing Dancing with the Stars, a friend of mine,

563
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: not anymore. He was very close to me. He was

564
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 1: in our wedding. He was the one that actually sold

565
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: the story, not sold. I'm sure he didn't get any money,

566
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: but he gave it to us weekly. How do you know?

567
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: How do you know? What was that friend? When I

568
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: read the article, there was one thing in there, and

569
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: only he knew. He's the only person I told, so

570
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 1: I know for there's no way that I would never

571
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: even call him to be like, how dare you? Because

572
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: he would probably lie about it. And then also I know,

573
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: I like I did not tell anybody else like he

574
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: was he was my best gay friend ever, and so

575
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: it was it was awful. But I will say, you know,

576
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: for Mike, you know, we we don't talk about this

577
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: because he would have loved to have kept his anonymity.

578
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: Most people don't be like, hey, I'm a sex addict

579
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: and like let's talk about it, you know. So it's yeah,

580
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: I feel bad. No, it does suck, and it's it's

581
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: a double edged sword where it sucks in the times

582
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 1: where yeah, again, a lot of people in twelve step,

583
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 1: whether in A A or an A no matter or

584
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: O A whatever it is, right, anonymity is a big

585
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: part of any twelve step program. Well, that was taken

586
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: away from me, and so we've tried to make the

587
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: most of that again in a positive way. And at

588
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: times I feel like it's a blessing disguise because I

589
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: can walk into a room not questioning, Okay, does this

590
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: person know this about me? Does this person know this

591
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: about me? It's like, get everyone knows everyone here knows

592
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: basically everything about me if they know us at all.

593
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: So I am who I am. I can wear that

594
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: on my sleeve and on my heart and if you

595
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: don't like it, then you don't have to talk to me.

596
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,239
Speaker 1: But I will say though, for people you know, you know,

597
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: like with with what you do, because of course, like

598
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: when we see the headlines, it's like, of course, like

599
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: get to work, like I would probably say the exact

600
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: same thing, and we can't have an interview with every

601
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: single person that you know does these things. Um, but

602
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, I totally get like what

603
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: you do. And I will say that I though, I

604
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: because I followed you from the very beginning. Um, was

605
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: it hard for you when all the bullying stuff came out?

606
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: How many was that ten years ago when you started

607
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: to make the switch on your website. I mean it's

608
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 1: still hard because you know, like you mentioned towards the beginning,

609
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: you know, you think, well, our brains tell us a

610
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 1: narrative and it may not always be the truth. You

611
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 1: think that whenever there's an article that has written about

612
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: you too, it'll somehow mention that Mike cheated. And I

613
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: think that unless something huge happens and changes this narrative

614
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: for ever, perhaps because I mean, oh God, Like you

615
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: know that radio talk radio host Rush Limbaugh died and

616
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: there were so many people celebrating his death. I know,

617
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: and I've told this to my therapist. I know if

618
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: I were to die today, people would celebrate my death.

619
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: And that's hard to accept, um and I but I

620
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: know that's the truth. And even though you know I'm

621
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: still opinionated, I know I've changed, and I know I

622
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: don't do things as I used to. Like I would

623
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 1: have said, I would have said, oh, she should leave that,

624
00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: and then fill in the blank and she's such a

625
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 1: blank blank for staying with him or whatever, like I

626
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: could still have a loud opinion, but I don't think

627
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: i'm doing like. I don't think saying she should divorce

628
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: him is nasty, mean, cruel or hurtful. And I used

629
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: to be nasty, mean, cruel or hurtful. I owned that

630
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 1: I was that. And what's funny is when I was that,

631
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was that. When I was doing that,

632
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 1: I was telling my brain, it's not me, it's a character.

633
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: It's not really me saying these things. So if people

634
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 1: are upset at me, it doesn't matter because it's not me.

635
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm just like exaggerating what I believe and

636
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: I'm you know, it's like and in many ways it's

637
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: like an addict, Like I tell this to my therapist

638
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: as well. I at the time was so addicted to attention.

639
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: It's a drug, right like the chemical releases, And I

640
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 1: knew I knew what I was doing was wrong, kind

641
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 1: of like when drug addict wants to take drugs. They

642
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: they could intellect realize that this is maybe not maybe

643
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: not the best thing to do. But I still did

644
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: it anyways because I didn't care if I hurt somebody's feeling.

645
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 1: All I cared about was getting attention for myself. And

646
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,240
Speaker 1: I really think, no matter how much, well that's not true.

647
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 1: I also tell my therapist and this could be wrong.

648
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 1: There is one thing that could change people's perception of me,

649
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: and that would be great, huge success doing something different.

650
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 1: Like let's say, um, they do a reboot of Glee,

651
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: which I loved, and this let's say they cast me

652
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: and I'm playing a character, a lovable character on Glee

653
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 1: and that shows a huge global sensation, Then that almost

654
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: could wipe away the sins of my past, and people

655
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 1: would park it, maybe not ever forget it, but park it,

656
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: put it aside and be like, oh wow, we love

657
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 1: him on the New Glee. He's amazing. He's the best thing.

658
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: And because I mean, I say, look at mel Gibson.

659
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: Mel Gibson said and did the most awful, hurtful, violent, racist,

660
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: anti Semitic things, and yet all these years later, he's

661
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 1: still a Hollywood A list and working because he's that famous.

662
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: Or Um. Bill Cosby currently in jail serving time convicted

663
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: of rape, and dozens of other women have accused Bill

664
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 1: Cosby of rape as well. If he is released from

665
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: jail before he dies, and if he wants to do

666
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 1: a stand up comedy tour, he would sell tickets. A

667
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: lot of people would go see Bill Cosby knowing that

668
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 1: he's a rapist, and they wouldn't care. They would still

669
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:52,720
Speaker 1: go and see him do stand up. Um, along those lines,

670
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: what do you think then, about the cancel society that

671
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 1: we're in right now where it's just you know, like

672
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 1: the Chris Harrison and he's just like or or you know,

673
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: what do you think about cancel site where it's just like, oh,

674
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 1: you did this, You're done, and you're just you have

675
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: to lose everything. I don't believe that cancel culture. Yeah,

676
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: I don't believe that it is real. I mean I

677
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: believe that people will it to be real, but nine

678
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: times out of ten it only helps people. Um. You know,

679
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: if you look at YouTubers, who are a lot of them,

680
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: many very problematic ones canceled. Being canceled ends up only

681
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: helping them. Um. I mean, of course, there's always exceptions,

682
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: and there are times where people could really be canceled. Uh.

683
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: I think we're reacting to four years of Donald Trump,

684
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 1: and he and many others were fighting against political correctness, right,

685
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 1: so we go from one extreme f political correctness too,

686
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: then extreme cancel culture. And I don't think either of

687
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: them are right. You know, Justin Timberlake recently came out

688
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 1: with a very lengthy statement apologizing to both Britney Spears

689
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: and Janet Jackson. And even after apologizing, which let me

690
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: tell you he didn't have to, because I don't because

691
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: Justin timber Lake is like Bill Cosby or like Mel Gibson,

692
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: he's canceled proof even if he's awful, people still love

693
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: him and we'll go see him in concert. Or if

694
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 1: he feels like his reputation is severely damaged. He'll put

695
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 1: He'll pull out his ACE card or his Trump card,

696
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 1: whatever the expression is, and he'll say, you know what,

697
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: people aren't liking me, So I'm gonna do an instinc

698
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: reunion and have everybody love me again, because I'm gonna

699
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 1: give them the instinct reunion that they want. But he

700
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 1: gave an apology, and I thought it was heartfelt and sincere,

701
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,959
Speaker 1: and despite that, so many people were like, not good enough,

702
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: too late, be more specific, how are you going to

703
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: be better? Blah blah blah. And it's like so many

704
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 1: people want to want to permanently cancel people and not

705
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: give people the opportunity to grow and be better and

706
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 1: do better. And that's like just crazy because nobody out

707
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 1: there is perfect, nobody, no. And that's the frustrating part

708
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 1: about it, is all these people saying not good enough,

709
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 1: not this, not that. If they looked in the mirror

710
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: for two seconds and think about the things that they

711
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: did it just in their day, if they were to

712
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: do that on a on a big stage like someone else,

713
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: what would people say? You know, but it's easier to

714
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 1: point the finger. And what's crazy too, is, you know, thankfully.

715
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of discussion about media treatment and

716
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: uh did we fail Britney Spears. And while I do

717
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:46,959
Speaker 1: think the media has changed a little bit, I don't

718
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: know how much the general public has changed. I look

719
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: back at Kanye West last year and so not even

720
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 1: so many I would say, the majority of people when

721
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: talking about Kanye West, we're not leading with empathy and

722
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: compassion because he's struggling with his mental health as well.

723
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: Or right now, you know, you're a singer as well

724
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: as an actress, Channa. American Idol currently is featuring the

725
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 1: daughter of Kelly Anne Conway, Claudia Conway, who's just sixteen

726
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: years old and suffering severely with her mental health. She

727
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,720
Speaker 1: has told us and made these very serious allegations against

728
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: her mother. Some including myself, think American Idol is exploiting

729
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: Claudia Conway for ratings. So oh, everybody's like poor Brittany,

730
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 1: But then like, why not poor Claudia too. It's like

731
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: so many people media as well, and people are disassociated

732
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: from things, and it's time also, you know, at the time,

733
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: you know, I think of Diane Sawyer at the time

734
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: when she was interviewing Brittany she really was speaking for

735
00:40:56,160 --> 00:41:00,439
Speaker 1: so many people. Was she wrong Diane Sawyer at the time, Yes,

736
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 1: we're all of these people wrong. Yes, But Diane Sawyer

737
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: is not a villain. She's not a terrible, awful human being.

738
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: She mishandled an interview and for all we know, she's

739
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: apologized privately. I don't know. I apologize privately to Britney Spears,

740
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: and I've apologized publicly as well. And I did it

741
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: sincerely because I'm not somebody who's gonna apologize for something

742
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: just like no, I'd rather sit on my sword and

743
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: sandy kind what I said if I truly believe that,

744
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: But if I genuinely am sorry, then I will. So

745
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: I've apologized to Brittney, I've apologized to so many people.

746
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 1: I have so many regrets. If I could go back

747
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: in time and do things differently, I would. And that's

748
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 1: not just b S. And I say that to everybody, like,

749
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,720
Speaker 1: really be careful of what you're saying on social media

750
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: because that that's forever, and especially if you're a young person,

751
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 1: it could come back to haunt you in five ten

752
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 1: years time. Yeah, And I think you know, just kind

753
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 1: of the moral of all of this is just nothing's perfect.

754
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: Just do your best and you know, be kind and um, yeah,

755
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 1: and and have conversations. And I appreciate you coming on

756
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 1: and having a conversation. And you know, I got to

757
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: know you better. You've got to know us better, and

758
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: you know now I consider us friends. So I just

759
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, and you know, I'm glad we were

760
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 1: able to have this combo um our listeners, where can

761
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: they find you at? Well, they can hear my podcast.

762
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 1: Uh it's the Perez Hilton Podcast with Chris Booker. You

763
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: can hear it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or directly at

764
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 1: Perez podcast dot com. This week we talked Brittany, we

765
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: talked Claudia Conway, and a lot more. Uh, an Army

766
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: Hammer update. That story is just wild, um and lots

767
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: more so it's pop culture and um, you know, my

768
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: co host is kind of like your husband. We're very different. Well,

769
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 1: thank you guys, you so much. Man, We appreciate it.

770
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 1: Thank you. But I think that went well. Yeah, you know,

771
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 1: I love what you said at the end there where

772
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 1: it's just we hope people can have the conversation, right

773
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: if you don't agree with what somebody else has to

774
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,880
Speaker 1: say or you think they have a false you know,

775
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 1: or they have a misconception on what the situation is. Like,

776
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 1: have the conversation if you're able to were fortunate enough

777
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 1: to be able to have a conversation with someone like

778
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 1: Perez or maybe someone that might say something about us.

779
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: But that's just it, right, Don't take it personal. Don't

780
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: get all you know, bent out of shape. Just not

781
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 1: the conversation. Yeah, because at the end of the day, look,

782
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: we're going to say something else. The story we'll get

783
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: run and we'll like the people that don't know us

784
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: think we are that crazy to stay together, that you're

785
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: just this and I'm just this, you know, I mean,

786
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 1: just read the reviews on our you know, I'm a

787
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 1: controlling freak that can't stop bringing stuff up. And he

788
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: is a cheater that will never stop cheating. So, you know,

789
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: but what is in our marriage right now is we

790
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: have a very strong foundation. We have our bad days,

791
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: we have our amazing days, and that is we have

792
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 1: more amazing days and bad That is very true. And

793
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: you know, we just want to continue to bring hope

794
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 1: to those couples that there is no perfect relationship if

795
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: you do the hard work and someone is willing to

796
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,439
Speaker 1: fight it out with you. You can be stronger than

797
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 1: you or yesterday and today, and that is the good fight,

798
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen. Um, But team, what do you guys think?

799
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: I think bringing him on was absolutely brilliant and it

800
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: was such a better It's such a great way of resolving,

801
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 1: that's such a great way of moving past and it's

802
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 1: so much more productive. That's some stupid Twitter war, Yeah, agreed,

803
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: I agree, And I'm that's why I'm glad that you

804
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: know he wanted to come on, because it was sitting

805
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: with me weird and I'm like, you don't know us,

806
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 1: you know, when you're telling us to get divorced, and

807
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: I just and there's so many other outlets like that

808
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 1: where but I'm like, with this is I would just

809
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: like to have the conversation. And I'm glad that he

810
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,280
Speaker 1: came on, and you know, he shared his his story

811
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,879
Speaker 1: and his addictions, and I liked his question about if

812
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: we someone gave us a hundred million dollars, but we

813
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 1: still do it because it's not about the money for

814
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:28,959
Speaker 1: us with this, it's not and it's like I didn't

815
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 1: even have to think about it because it's truly not like,

816
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:33,879
Speaker 1: it's not every time we come on here and talk,

817
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,840
Speaker 1: it's not always fun because it's hard because we have

818
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 1: Mark and he's like, why were you fighting? Yeah? Tell

819
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 1: us more. Yeah, I'm sure it is. Marks are very

820
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 1: in his popcorn um, but no, it really is. It's like, Okay,

821
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: even if we had all that money, it's like, well,

822
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,320
Speaker 1: what are we going to do on the day to

823
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 1: day or weekly to keep us busy? Well, this because

824
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 1: this is the most gratifying and satisfying, you know, for

825
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: those intangible you know, just regular human being reasons and

826
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 1: we're helping. Right. That went nice, you know, I will say,

827
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 1: I mean back in the day, it was just crazy,

828
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 1: like going in there and you know, he would put

829
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 1: things off the people's mouths with some of the most

830
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 1: atrocious like I can't imagine if he was pressed now,

831
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: like the presid then what he would like even said

832
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: He's like, I'd probably say you cheating him or whatever. Like.

833
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 1: But I'm glad that he has changed his tune too,

834
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 1: because I still look at his website, you know, and

835
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 1: and to his point, even bringing up what he said

836
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: about you know us, is like he didn't say anything

837
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: derogatory or mean or he just stay as open he said,

838
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: get divorced already, and then talking about us financially benefiting

839
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: and that being the motivator, which is not the case. Well, um,

840
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:51,320
Speaker 1: I mean I'm pretty happy. How are you guys feeling

841
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: over there? Loved that he didn't back down. I thought

842
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 1: he would come on and he'd be like, oh, everything's fine,

843
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,359
Speaker 1: I didn't mean and I'm just kidding. But he didn't

844
00:46:58,360 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 1: back down. He dug in his heels and had his

845
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: opinions and defended them and it still worked out great. Yeah,

846
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 1: and he had nothing to say sorry for, so he

847
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: he didn't even need to say he didn't he didn't

848
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 1: say sorry, but he didn't need to say sorry because

849
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: it was just about a conversation. There's nothing. He didn't

850
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: do anything wrong. But I could see I know what

851
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 1: you're saying, though, Mark, because right you feel like so

852
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 1: many people, it's easiest step on toes through social media,

853
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: but then when they get confronted, they're like, oh, you know,

854
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 1: I was just you know, just just throwing smoke on

855
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: the fire, you know, throwing gas on the fire just

856
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: didn't make it interesting. But yeah, he was just like,

857
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: you know, the courage of his convictions and also he's

858
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 1: such a good broadcast and interviewer. I love the questions

859
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,919
Speaker 1: you ask you guys. It was very compelling. Yes, yeah,

860
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: he asked great questions. I love the back and forth.

861
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: We always love that dynamic of the back and forth. Okay, well, um,

862
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: I gotta go to work, get out of here, boom,

863
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 1: me and the kids got stuff to do. Oh guys,

864
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: all right. I love you guys so much. And here's

865
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 1: the here's your weekly motivation that we never do consistently.

866
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 1: Be nice and you're on You're on this one. I'm

867
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:04,280
Speaker 1: looking at you too, like what honey, Just be nice

868
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: and do the best you can. And you're not going

869
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: to be perfect. Just know that, Okay,