1 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 2: Hi Tory, Tory, Tory, it is so good to meet you, Dorothy, Dorothy, Dorothy. 3 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 3: I wish you were here with me in person. 4 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 2: Me too, you know, I love being with my clients 5 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 2: or or people i'm talking to. 6 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well we'll pretend you're right here holding my hand. 7 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 2: Okay. 8 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 3: It's so interesting in life. Do you find all the 9 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 3: people you have helped organize and get through things with 10 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 3: that if you're quite literally there with them, almost like 11 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 3: holding their hand, they tend to free more stuff up. 12 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 2: It seems that way, Tori. Here's what I know. If 13 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 2: one person is working on a project all buy themselves, 14 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 2: you know, it's harder to do. You get another person in, 15 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 2: whether they're an expert organizer or just you know, a 16 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: friend who's helping you out Right, it's going to go 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 2: faster no matter what. Well, unless we're stuck in the 18 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 2: decision making. Ah. 19 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 3: Yes, I have been there in the past in my 20 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 3: life and decision making, but I don't feel like i'm 21 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 3: there right now. 22 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 2: Good good. I actually heard I was listening to your 23 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 2: podcast the other day and I heard you say you're 24 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 2: kind of ready to get rid of a lot of stuff, 25 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 2: you felt like you're just. 26 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 3: There for sure. I mean I had different moments over 27 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 3: the years, and I think this has been documented, like 28 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 3: on past reality shows everything, because I've always been pretty 29 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 3: you know, upfront with everything, open book to my detriment sometimes. 30 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 3: But I like to say it like it is because 31 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 3: I enjoyed the human connection. I feel like it humanizes 32 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 3: all of us and gives us a connection whether we're 33 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 3: in person or not. But I did. I used to 34 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 3: place emotional attachment on inadamant objects y'all do, and. 35 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 2: Most of us kind of in our age groups, you know, 36 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 2: one decade less or more. You know, we have some 37 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 2: of our identity tied up to the kind of work 38 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 2: that we've done. You know, if you're a chef, then 39 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 2: you're going to have a lot of chef recipes, a 40 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:36,399 Speaker 2: lot of magazines, a lot of you know, equipment throughout 41 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,640 Speaker 2: the kitchen. It's just going to be more of And 42 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 2: here you are in your world, and you've got a 43 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,839 Speaker 2: lot of swag, and you've got a lot of I'm 44 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 2: imagining right products that come to you. Please bless our products. 45 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 2: You know, you have all this stuff coming in, plus 46 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: you've got your kids, and when you have a lot 47 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 2: of stuff from in your world. I work with a 48 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 2: lot of celebrities. There's a lot of stuff you are 49 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: not alone. 50 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 3: Fair Fair definitely. I think once a lot comes in, 51 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 3: if you don't actively put it away, organize it, you know, 52 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,079 Speaker 3: give it away, it does tend to pile up. And 53 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 3: then it's like when you're working, I'm trying. I'm being mindful, 54 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 3: I think right now, because I don't want to defend 55 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 3: myself and I don't want it to sound like I'm 56 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 3: like no, but the fact is I'm a single, working mom, 57 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 3: I have five children. These are all just facts. I 58 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 3: don't have any help, and my ex helps us a lot, 59 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 3: but I don't physically have you know, when I did 60 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 3: this with the podcast last week, my co host Amy 61 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 3: we had talked about, you know, she's one single woman 62 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 3: and she has a whole staff, and I was like, 63 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 3: that's awesome, you know, but every situation is different, and 64 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 3: I'm happy for her. But for me, I'm like, gosh, 65 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 3: even one other pair of hands, human hands, would help 66 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 3: me through life, because it's just you know, when they 67 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 3: say it takes a village, it really does. And if 68 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:19,119 Speaker 3: you don't have that village or one other person. It's 69 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 3: it is. It's a hard task to do. And I 70 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 3: do think a lot of times I get this one 71 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 3: a lot. People say, we have five kids, you have 72 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 3: a built in helping village, and I say, yeah, I suppose, 73 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 3: But I think that takes the mind of someone when 74 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 3: you're used to being like, I'll just do it all myself, 75 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 3: and you don't ask for help. You don't even think 76 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 3: to ask your own children. If that makes sense, Oh yeah, oh. 77 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. And you know you are a strong woman 78 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 2: who has been able to do nearly all of it yourself, right, 79 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 2: and so that's built into the system. And by the way, 80 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 2: there is nothing for you to defend. If anyone's going 81 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 2: to you, it's me because I'll tell you why when 82 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 2: you're particularly women, but you know, men and women, if 83 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 2: you have a lot of projects going on, and I know, 84 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 2: just listening to the various podcasts of yours, you've got 85 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 2: a lot going on. But if you take the average 86 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 2: person who might be at home and let's say they 87 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 2: just go to what a travel expo, you know, and 88 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 2: get one of those bags full of all sorts of goodies, 89 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 2: then they want to bring home of trips they want 90 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 2: to take and things they want to do, and they 91 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 2: come home and put it on the dining room table, 92 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 2: right yeah, and there it is with full intention to 93 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 2: take action on it. But something comes up. A parent 94 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 2: has to go to the er, a kid has to 95 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 2: have a sudden you know meeting, you know with mom 96 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 2: and the teacher. Something else comes up, and so they're 97 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 2: that project is and then here's this other one. Now 98 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 2: we've got insurance claims, and now we've got all these right, 99 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 2: and then upcome was some sort of an activity that is, 100 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 2: you know, oh Mom, I need you tonight or whatever 101 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 2: it is. 102 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 3: So here it is. 103 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 2: It's just the layering of it all. Yes, and then 104 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 2: how do you unwind to get back to it? If 105 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 2: you have a lot of projects, sometimes the stuff being 106 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 2: stacked isn't about the stuff, but rather about not being 107 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 2: able to get back to that first thing that piled up. Right, 108 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 2: you just. 109 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 3: Described my whole life. 110 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, many people's lives, my life, My life included. 111 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 3: Literally the thing is. So let's just say, like you said, 112 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 3: a travel expo bag, let's say a gift bag for instance, 113 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 3: Like I am part of the iHeart family. That's where 114 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,039 Speaker 3: my podcast lives. Like the last iHeart event I went to, 115 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 3: there is a gift bag and people gave amazing things 116 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:04,679 Speaker 3: and everything. That gift is still here. Yeah, that gift 117 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 3: bag is still on, like you said, a table, and 118 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 3: I think about it every day. I walk by and 119 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh man, I got to sort through that 120 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 3: gift bag. I remember my friend wanted this piece from it. 121 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 3: I was going to give this thing to my daughter. Okay, 122 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 3: I'll get to that later because life doesn't stop. And 123 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 3: then yes, yeah, yeah, and the priorities of it all 124 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 3: of course. 125 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, And here's what I got from the at least 126 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 2: the podcast that I listen, you know, to prior this 127 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 2: is that you do have your priorities in order. Your 128 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 2: kids are your priorities. I totally get it. And I 129 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 2: also heard that you are up to taking care of yourself. 130 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 2: So I don't care how much clutter you have, you 131 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 2: or anybody else. Yeah, as long as those priorities are 132 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 2: in place. So it's when the clutter is getting in 133 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 2: the way of things, oh hey, let's deal with it. 134 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 2: And for me, Torri, when I look at sort of 135 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 2: people who have a lot of clutter and a lot 136 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 2: of projects going on, I like to look and say, really, 137 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 2: maybe it's the infrastructure that's missing. 138 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 3: Okay. 139 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 2: I think it's not all about the clutter. 140 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 3: Okay. 141 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 2: So if it's the infrastructure you mentioned, just the simple 142 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 2: task of putting away putting things away, like you didn't 143 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 2: get a chance to do that, right or. 144 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 3: There's also no room to put it away, So it 145 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 3: does like I think we probably all deal with this. 146 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 3: You know, I have five kids. We are stopped up. 147 00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 3: We like we don't have a pantry, which I'm not 148 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: like boohoomy, but I do have five kids, and that 149 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 3: is one of the things when I was renting this 150 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 3: house I didn't think about. I didn't think you know, 151 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 3: the kids were like, oh my gosh, this is great. 152 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 3: These bedrooms are amazing, the backyard's great, we have a pool. Everything. 153 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 3: It was like, yes, here's a kitchen, there's a den 154 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 3: off shooting the kitchen so you guys can hang out, 155 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 3: I can cook, Like those are the things keeping the 156 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 3: family together. That's very important to me. And it wasn't 157 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 3: until after we moved in and Ruthanne was here and 158 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 3: helping me put things away that were like, oh, shoot, 159 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 3: there's a few cabinets under the kitchen counter. There's no 160 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 3: actual like pantry, remember reason Yeah, And I was like, shoot, 161 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 3: I didn't even think of that. And another thing like 162 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:54,199 Speaker 3: I do have a lot of clothing. I have gotten 163 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 3: rid of a lot of clothing over the years, but 164 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 3: moving into this house, clothing did come with me. And 165 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 3: I also was like, oh, shoot, this house doesn't have 166 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 3: a closet. Yeah, this slighting door, but like yeah, yeah stuff, yeah, 167 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 3: well if I may just yeah, booo problems. But I'm 168 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 3: just so it's like going back to this one gift bag. 169 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 3: Not only do I mean to sort through it and 170 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 3: give the things to the people that I think would 171 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 3: like it or keep for myself, I also don't have 172 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 3: the room, so anything that comes in, And I don't know, 173 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 3: are we all still supposed to go about that whole 174 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 3: old notion of if one thing comes in, one thing 175 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 3: goes out? Are we still are we supposed to live 176 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 3: by that still? 177 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 2: Well, if it works for you, okay, it has to 178 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 2: work for the person. Just because that kind of mantra 179 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 2: is out there doesn't necessarily mean it's going to work 180 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,840 Speaker 2: for this this this person, right, And how can you 181 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 2: even keep track of this little you know over here 182 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 2: compared to what else is there. You know, if you're 183 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 2: looking brick to get rid of a fair amount of stuff, 184 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 2: then it really just requires a team to come in 185 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 2: and have you or this supplas to anybody, right, You 186 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 2: just have a team that comes in and lays it 187 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 2: all out, like with like lotions with lotions, gift bags 188 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 2: with gift bags, electronics and chords over here. You know, 189 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 2: that's how it goes. Kitchen stuff over here, stuff that 190 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 2: belongs in an office over here. And then I say, okay, 191 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 2: or let's just look at all these gift bags, and 192 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 2: you're gonna be okay that I'd like to the whole 193 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 2: Let's just make a bag for this friend and this 194 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,359 Speaker 2: friend and this family member and denat. 195 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:46,599 Speaker 3: I'd like to. 196 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 2: And then we do that, that little section is boom. 197 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:54,079 Speaker 2: So then we go to the electrical cords and we say, okay, yeah, yeah, 198 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 2: I definitely have duplicates here. I can get rid of 199 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 2: three of these cords. They're all the same. So when 200 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 2: you see all those items or suitcases and luggage, those 201 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 2: are bags, line them all up and that's when they're 202 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 2: all together, it's easier to make the decision and you 203 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 2: just go boom, boom, boom. And then we have runners 204 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 2: taking those things to where they're supposed to go back 205 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 2: up to the kids room, out to the garage, give away. 206 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 3: To out of the house, gone, out of the house, gone, 207 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 3: I was saying last night we were on the phone. 208 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 3: I was like, no, no, no, you guys really aren't 209 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 3: hearing me. Anything that is not living and breathing in 210 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 3: the house. Let's give it away. 211 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 2: See and can you can I can sense this, and 212 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 2: can you see for yourself you're in the right frame 213 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 2: of mind. 214 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 3: Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yes project, yes, yes, yeah yeah. 215 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,960 Speaker 3: And I remember, like my friend Amy was saying, like, 216 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 3: but you used to hold on to this. I was like, yes, 217 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 3: I used to, but I went through so much personally 218 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 3: in the last you know, three years the family. You know, 219 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 3: we went through a lot of changes, emotionally, physically, all 220 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 3: of it. And now I can't even imagine being like, 221 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm so emotionally attached to that, Like 222 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,959 Speaker 3: that doesn't really even come up. You know. I have 223 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,680 Speaker 3: my kids' photos, art projects when they're young, like I 224 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 3: have that stuff that means something, something they can pass on, 225 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 3: so there's a legacy. I know those things were important 226 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 3: to me, Like the couple things I have from my dad, Like, 227 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 3: I want to give them that to pass down. But 228 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 3: other than that, anything that's coming here that's new, that 229 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,439 Speaker 3: doesn't mean things of the family. I'm like, great, let's 230 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 3: donate it to someone who needs it. But I physically 231 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 3: don't have that man power. Why do they call it 232 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 3: man power? It should be women power. 233 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 2: It should be woman power. You're right, it just comes 234 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 2: off the tongue that way for so many of us. 235 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 2: But you know, when it does come to stuff and 236 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 2: smaller things and details, it is more female, if you will, 237 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,559 Speaker 2: you know, those little detailed things. So maybe we'll change 238 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 2: it to woman power. 239 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 3: Woman power. Yes, I just honestly, I just need the 240 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 3: physical help transporting it. 241 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. And there's another thing too, when it comes to 242 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 2: stuff and clutter, some of us are hard wired for it. 243 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 2: It's in the you know, front of our brain here, 244 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 2: wired for organizing. You know, I was a gymnast growing up, 245 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 2: so everything was repeated and done over and over again. Right, 246 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 2: And in your world, I'm imagining I could be wrong, 247 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 2: But in your world, I'm imagining you're a creative person. Right. 248 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 2: So we've got left brain, right brain create. You know, 249 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 2: right brain is creative. Are our right brain creative and 250 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 2: left is analytical ll. So you know, if you're more 251 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 2: of a creative type. So many people thrive. If you 252 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 2: think about artists, they thrive on having just a little 253 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: bit of chaos, so or we could call it inspiration. 254 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 2: You know, that's what makes a creative mind creative. So 255 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 2: I don't know if that's your situation or not. 256 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 3: Definitely, organically, my brain doesn't go to organizing, it doesn't 257 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 3: go to using something and then putting it back. My 258 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 3: brain's like, go go, go, go, go onto the next 259 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 3: thing fast. We got to cram everything in time management. 260 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 3: Working on it never been my strong suit. Yeah, And 261 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 3: I you know, I can recall a time in my 262 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 3: life when I was married and when the kids were 263 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 3: younger and I was able at the time to have 264 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 3: a lot of support around raising and kind of managing 265 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 3: my village, and I did thrive. I did thrive. So 266 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 3: it's just in my mind, I'm like, I've always thrived creatively, 267 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 3: it's just right now, so I know I've had it before. 268 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 3: It's not like, you know, I had people working with 269 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 3: me and I was like no, no, no, Like I 270 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 3: was happy when people could help organize me or help 271 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 3: me with pickups and drop offs and all of that. 272 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 3: So I definitely thrived on having people assist me even 273 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 3: though I won't ask for help. So yeah, I just 274 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 3: would like to get back to that, and I think 275 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 3: it would really start just It's interesting after we did 276 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 3: the podcast last week, a lot of people are reaching 277 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 3: out to me on DMS and instant Messenger and you know, 278 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 3: all of that, saying, oh my gosh, if I lived closer, 279 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 3: I'd come help you. I'd come help you. And I'm 280 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 3: just like, Hey, any friends out there want to come 281 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 3: over and help I mean, ruth Anne has offers all 282 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 3: the time, but we're usually working. We produce together as well, 283 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 3: so we have so many other projects besides the podcast, 284 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 3: so we're running to meetings and on our TV shows 285 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,679 Speaker 3: and doing it like we're doing all of that. But 286 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 3: she's like, if we have a second, I will help you. 287 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 3: So yeah, if I have any friends out there that 288 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 3: live in the area that are actually listening to my podcast, 289 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 3: just come over and help me, please. 290 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: But I want to say I do want to say 291 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: something about that because even though I find and I 292 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,400 Speaker 1: wonder if this is a thing that it's much easier 293 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: for me to go and help like declutter or help organize, 294 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: or just in general help somebody else as opposed to myself. 295 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: So like I'll say to you, Tori, oh, I'll come. 296 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,399 Speaker 3: Over and we can go through the gifts and whatever. 297 00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 3: And meanwhile they'll be like a. 298 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 1: Dack of papers or something I haven't unpacked, or you know, 299 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 1: laundry that I haven't dealt with, and it's like, oh, 300 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to just turn my back on that and 301 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: go run and deal with somebody else's stuff because somehow 302 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: that's easier. I don't know if that, Dorothy, is it 303 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: a common thing or that's just me? 304 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think I think you know you, all 305 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,959 Speaker 2: of you have come up with a lot of the 306 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:29,880 Speaker 2: answers already. Now it's just how do we make it happen? Right, 307 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 2: You've talked about the possibilities, and you know you're interested 308 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 2: in kind of making it happen. So the first thing 309 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 2: is to I don't care how far out it is, Tori, 310 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 2: but if you can calendar one day of organizing, not 311 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,719 Speaker 2: just an hour, but a day where you do have 312 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,680 Speaker 2: a crew, and whether it's me and some of your 313 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 2: fans and all of us come in great, I'll lead 314 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 2: the team and we will sort and we will put things. 315 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 3: Can I film? That'd be fun TV show? 316 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 2: Wouldn't that be kind of fun to do? 317 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 3: Look at me? I'm like, okay, now my producer brain's 318 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,639 Speaker 3: here again. Wait, let's film it. No, I'm just kidding. 319 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 2: But can you see that's the creative side, and that's 320 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 2: the other project right and and there it goes, and 321 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:18,640 Speaker 2: that that's no mistake. That's in your DNA. That creativity. 322 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 2: We want to hold on to that. And how do 323 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 2: you be organized and creative altogether in one? 324 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 3: Yes? 325 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 2: Please? And so if I were there with you, I 326 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 2: would say, here's what we should do. Let's talk about 327 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 2: a brain domp. Because it's I mentioned it once. I'm 328 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 2: going to mention it again. 329 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 3: You brand deal brain don't. Oh sorry you said brain 330 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 3: dump and my brain heard brand deal on brand comes 331 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 3: from the brain dump. 332 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 2: It's the misspelling that happened right there. 333 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 3: Good happen. I'm ready, yeah. 334 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 2: But what happens is again, it's not the stuff that 335 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 2: we're talking about. And this is for anybody. What's going 336 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 2: underneath is what we want to talk about. And if 337 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,919 Speaker 2: you have you know these thoughts. Oh, I wish I 338 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 2: had some help, Okay, I you know, I have this 339 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 2: project over here. I need to do this podcast. Oh 340 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 2: my kid has some sort of you know, production that 341 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 2: I need to attend. All these things going on, I'd 342 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 2: want to try that recipe. I've got that swag bag. 343 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,160 Speaker 2: I've got to handle. These are just little things. You've 344 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 2: got so much more. I know this, But we want 345 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,360 Speaker 2: to dump all that literally onto a piece of paper. 346 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 2: Or you have your chat. I know you have a 347 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 2: name for your little. 348 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 3: Chat, Mona my chat, yeah Tea. 349 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 2: You can download to Mona or brain dump to Mona. 350 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 2: But it's getting all those items chunked together, you know, 351 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 2: and prioritizing all of your projects and your thoughts. Because 352 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 2: once those are prioritized. If organizing is way up on 353 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 2: the list, then it's going to happen faster. If it's not, 354 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 2: if you've got other projects, it's still going to stay lower. 355 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 2: So picking a date, okay, picking a date like it's 356 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 2: a vacation, like it is, you know, a kid's graduation day, 357 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 2: you're not going to miss. That's where it happens. That's 358 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 2: when it happens for anyone. 359 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:46,400 Speaker 3: Interesting That all makes sense for me personally. What really 360 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 3: stood out there for me is that I don't write 361 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 3: things down. 362 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 2: Oh okay, tell me about that. 363 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,080 Speaker 3: Yes, let's talk about that, because that interests me all 364 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 3: the time because I know it's connected to something that 365 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 3: component of my brain. It's almost a challenge for myself, 366 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 3: Like I I could just take out a piece of 367 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 3: paper and literally write down the things I have to do. 368 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 3: I could literally write down I only recently, like, for instance, 369 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 3: I've written six books. And before there was the iPhone, 370 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 3: there was the BlackBerry, which no longer exists. But I've 371 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 3: been writing books since I believe it was two thousand 372 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 3: and eight or two thousand and seven. So I used 373 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:41,919 Speaker 3: to write them on my BlackBerry and people would be like, 374 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 3: do you have a computer, And I was like, yeah, 375 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 3: well where's it? I don't know. I'm under that pile 376 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:52,360 Speaker 3: over there. No, I'm just kidding, but yeah, I'd be like, oh, yeah, 377 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,880 Speaker 3: I have a computer. I've never learned to use a computer. 378 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,439 Speaker 3: And then I remembered because they'd be like, why do that? 379 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 3: Seems so much harder to do everything like this, And 380 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,119 Speaker 3: it was harder, but it was like I thrived on 381 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 3: it being harder. And then I remembered a story that 382 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 3: my dad used to write all of his shows on 383 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 3: a legal notepad, and before that he has he had 384 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 3: an old school typewriter which I have that my mom 385 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 3: gave to me when he passed. But you know, and 386 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 3: they kept trying to update him and say, you know, 387 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,920 Speaker 3: this will be easier. Let us teach you how to 388 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,159 Speaker 3: use the computer to and he like was no, no, no, no, 389 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 3: it's like a refusal. And I was like, oh my god, 390 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 3: my brain is kind of the same. Not that this 391 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 3: makes sense or is correct, but it was only until 392 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 3: ruth Anne knows this only into what this this past 393 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 3: year ruth An that I actually put things down in 394 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 3: a calendar in my phone. Yeah, and that was the 395 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 3: game changer. Ish this a crazy part is and I 396 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:05,880 Speaker 3: stand by this. I remember everything so like we could 397 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 3: talk about a date here and whereas anyone else would 398 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 3: be like, oh, let me look at my calendar, let. 399 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 2: Me look it up. 400 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 3: I could tell you what date it's happening and what 401 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 3: timing is happening, just from having someone say it out 402 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,640 Speaker 3: loud one time. 403 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 2: And yes you might if I jump in here, no 404 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 2: please do, because this is it, This is what, this 405 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 2: is where it's at. I believe for you. And again, 406 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:33,919 Speaker 2: this is everybody on the planet practically, But if you 407 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,320 Speaker 2: don't have a place to put if you know that 408 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 2: it's going to something is going to occur on you know, 409 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 2: April seventeenth, that's great, your brain has it, beautiful. 410 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 3: Never mind that. 411 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,160 Speaker 2: You have five other children and friends and family and 412 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 2: so on that you're also keeping dates for correct. Okay, 413 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 2: so you've got the date. Proud of you for that. 414 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,639 Speaker 2: I'm going to be a little flip about it. But 415 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 2: here's the thing. When it comes to that date, when 416 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 2: that's meeting, then where's the information that supports that April 417 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 2: seventeenth date? Let me show you. Don't go away. I'm 418 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 2: still here. But I teach electronic organizing, no problem. I 419 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:25,000 Speaker 2: teach people how to use their phones and calendars, no problem. 420 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 2: But here's my calendar written old school, old school, old school, because. 421 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,200 Speaker 3: I really have an aversion to that one. 422 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, But I can go to April seventeenth 423 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,359 Speaker 2: and I can write down the nine things that I 424 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 2: wanted to remember on that date and things that I 425 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 2: want to take with me on that date. And if 426 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 2: you're not doing that, if you're not because life is 427 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 2: moving too fast, then I heard you again say on 428 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 2: your podcast, someone who. 429 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 3: Can write it down. Yes, that's so for another set 430 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 3: of human hands, though. 431 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 2: There it is. 432 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 3: Do you see where we like, I really go back 433 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 3: to that. I do. 434 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 2: I've got some ideas for that, okay, if that's okay. 435 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 3: Please okay. 436 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 2: And you may have tried some of these things before, 437 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 2: but you know, when I listened to the podcast, and 438 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 2: I get that you guys were really going raw and 439 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 2: some of it was just you joking around. So I 440 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,160 Speaker 2: get that. But on the other hand, some people need 441 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 2: a personal assistant and some people need a professional executive assistant. Okay. 442 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 2: You had also mentioned the term like a mother's helper, 443 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 2: that kind of thing. I don't see that for you, okay, Okay, 444 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,679 Speaker 2: I see an executive assistant who really manages your time. 445 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 3: That's what my brother just said the other day. 446 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh good, good, good, okay. 447 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 3: Because my brother was trying to help me. He's he 448 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 3: is very like he's a creative, but he's a life coach, 449 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 3: so he is good at writing things down and you know, 450 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:14,159 Speaker 3: doing all of that. He's a libra. So I was 451 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 3: He's like, let me like help you tell me what 452 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,440 Speaker 3: is your love letter for someone coming in that would 453 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,360 Speaker 3: assist you? And I said, this is so crazy. I'm 454 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 3: having a hard time because I'm I couldn't merge the 455 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:34,680 Speaker 3: personal and professional. And he said, I think he said 456 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 3: the same thing. He's like, you're asking for everything from 457 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 3: one person that's not and you're not going to end 458 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 3: up doing it or finding the person. And I said, correct, 459 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,120 Speaker 3: I'll just keep doing it all myself and it's unbearable. 460 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 3: And he said, I would go to the professional route. 461 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,199 Speaker 3: So you guys are saying the same thing. 462 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 2: Sorry, oh good good. And that's Randy, right, Yes, your 463 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,719 Speaker 2: brother's okay, good good good. Yeah, so he gets an 464 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 2: A plus for that one. Y, right, But what I 465 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:05,479 Speaker 2: would say is if you haven't tried the you know, 466 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 2: we live in the Los Angeles area, so you know, 467 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 2: USC or UCLA is a great place to start in 468 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,120 Speaker 2: terms of going to the MBA, you know, the Masters 469 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:20,160 Speaker 2: of Business and just seeing if they have people who 470 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:25,240 Speaker 2: want to assist. Okay, they are in the learning curve, true, 471 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,399 Speaker 2: but they are also smart about how to manage their time. 472 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 2: And there's another one called the International Association of Administrative Professionals. Okay, 473 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,040 Speaker 2: so it's not the typical look at. 474 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 3: Us, I'm writing something down. Sorry, it will never this 475 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 3: just will get lost somewhere in the shovel, but I 476 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,720 Speaker 3: am writing it down. No, I'm hoping it won't be. Sorry, 477 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 3: Can you tell me that name one more time? 478 00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called the International Association of Administrative Professionals. Take 479 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 2: a look there now. Also, you know, you can consider 480 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 2: there's also the National Association of Productivity and Professional Organizers. 481 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 2: So it's called NAPO dot net. NAPO dot net, it's 482 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 2: my industry organization. You'll find me there. You'll find hundreds 483 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 2: of organizers in the area. They all have different Some 484 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 2: love love love paperwork, some people like basements and garages, 485 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 2: you know. So you can find a professional organizer there 486 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 2: as well. 487 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 3: Now, would this be to hire an organizer or to 488 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 3: hire someone that has those skills to help me on 489 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:03,280 Speaker 3: a professional level? Full with other stuff? 490 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,760 Speaker 2: Okay, so the professional NAPO dot net, that's where you're 491 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:15,560 Speaker 2: going to find professional organizers have organizing skills like time management, 492 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 2: like electronic organizing, whatever it is, like you think is 493 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,960 Speaker 2: the biggest need for you first, And when I say you, 494 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 2: I mean everybody who's listening, right, And when I talk 495 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 2: about the administrative Assistance group, that's specifically to find an 496 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 2: admin who is an executive, which is what I believe 497 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 2: you might need. 498 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 3: Can I ask you a question in your humble pine. 499 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 3: So I just I say things and ask things just 500 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 3: kind of as they come to my because this is 501 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:08,320 Speaker 3: all a realization process as well. So interestingly enough or 502 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 3: not to anyone. As you're telling me these names, I'm 503 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 3: writing them down. I already inside got a fear of 504 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 3: reaching out. Yeah, but maybe, but I don't. Okay, this 505 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 3: is weird. My whole life, I've had a fear of 506 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 3: the phone. Yeah, yes, is this common? 507 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 2: Lots lots of people have a fear of the mail 508 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 2: and mail box too, Keep going, keep. 509 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, So I'm aging myself here. But when 510 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 3: I was young, we had a landline and there wasn't 511 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 3: you know, if there wasn't Internet, there wasn't Google, there 512 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 3: wasn't Siri, like you know, we had to actually pick 513 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 3: up the phone and dial for one one to get 514 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 3: the operator to get a business number and connect it. 515 00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. If I said this in front of 516 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 3: my kids, so they would zone out and be like, 517 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 3: you are the oldest human on the face of this planet, 518 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 3: and they're like, and then you hammered it into the stone. 519 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 2: Tablet. 520 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 3: I'm like, kind of okay, actually I don't have a 521 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 3: fear of stone tablets, but uh so, fred Fla, I'm 522 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 3: starting to get choked up in shake right now talking 523 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 3: to you. And I'm a public figure, actress, in podcast host, 524 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 3: and that's I can do all that. But the thought 525 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 3: of like being younger and having to pick up the 526 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 3: phone dial four one one ask an operator who didn't know. 527 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 3: I remember my brother being like, they don't know it's you. 528 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 3: I'm like, it's not about that, it's my voice would 529 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 3: go up super high, like Hi, can I please? And 530 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 3: ruth Anne knows this voice because to this day, when 531 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:52,040 Speaker 3: we go somewhere, if it's we call it my ordering voice, 532 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 3: like ruth Anna, I'll be talking like this and look, 533 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 3: I'm like can I take your I'm like, hi, please, 534 00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 3: can I have a savage like? I think it comes 535 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 3: from a fear of anyone assisting me. Yeah, in anything. 536 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:11,880 Speaker 3: As if I came into the world thinking who I 537 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:15,880 Speaker 3: was and my family was that I expected things. So 538 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 3: my brain from a young age went the opposite of 539 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 3: being ashamed to ask anyone for anything, even calling the 540 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,719 Speaker 3: operator yeah, like you don't deserve it. I just realized 541 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,880 Speaker 3: this by the way, as we're talking, thank you, Dorothy. 542 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 1: You've become very meek. 543 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 3: Oh, just don't even pay attention to me. I'll just 544 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 3: take a crumb from the bread baskets as all stop. 545 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 3: You just said that my heart saying. I was like, 546 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 3: I don't deserve that even okay, you know, I just. 547 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 2: Want to share. You know, I've got a similar one. 548 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 2: It's a little bit different, and I'm what I call, 549 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 2: you know, an HSP, right, a highly sensitive person. Right. 550 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 2: So for me, there's a lot there. I have a 551 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 2: ton of fears, you know, and that's what has me 552 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 2: eat too much sugar. And somebody else out there has 553 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,680 Speaker 2: a different fear, which might have them collect too much stuff. 554 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,359 Speaker 2: You know, this is what goes on. There's anxiety that's 555 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:20,360 Speaker 2: attached to it. I, for example, can speak to a thousand, 556 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,279 Speaker 2: two thousand people, not a problem. I am out there 557 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 2: with a scripted thing. I can go off book just 558 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,399 Speaker 2: like you ken when you're doing your acting. And yet 559 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:34,560 Speaker 2: when I have to host a party, I'm like, you know, 560 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 2: talking one on one, making sure everybody's okay. I have 561 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:44,360 Speaker 2: anxiety around that. Okay, So everybody has their thing and 562 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:49,959 Speaker 2: if yours is on the phone. It's understandable. I mean, 563 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 2: everybody's got their thing. 564 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 3: But what you're saying and what ruth An saying, like 565 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 3: it's all a higher thing. Like it's not just the phone. 566 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 3: It's emailing someone and asking for help or going to 567 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,839 Speaker 3: this website and actually following through because at the end 568 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,440 Speaker 3: of it, I'm asking someone to step in and assist me. 569 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,360 Speaker 3: And that feels super uncomfortable. 570 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:20,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it sure does. And therefore, Hama, may I say 571 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,879 Speaker 2: one reason I would suggest the executive assistant. If it's 572 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 2: you know, if it's in your budget to do that 573 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,760 Speaker 2: for whatever number of days you can, you can say 574 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,879 Speaker 2: can you call or can you be with me while 575 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,320 Speaker 2: I'm on speakerphone and call? You know, I guess. 576 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,440 Speaker 3: So I've had this in the past and it works 577 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 3: really well. Like I can't call the doctor's office and 578 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:55,239 Speaker 3: make an appointment, but if I have an assistant, I 579 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,799 Speaker 3: they yes, and they'll do it, and I'm great, Like 580 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,600 Speaker 3: I can do all the creative It's literally that type 581 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 3: of stuff that takes me down, things that are as simple. 582 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 3: And I also have a bad habit though, and this 583 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,440 Speaker 3: is all lines up, is when people do work for me, 584 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 3: I feel so guilty that we become best friends. I 585 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,000 Speaker 3: want to do stuff for them, like it's it's hard 586 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,279 Speaker 3: for me to separate because of the way I grew up. 587 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, so we might be twins here, we might be twins. 588 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:31,239 Speaker 1: You know. 589 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:35,480 Speaker 2: I just went on a trip to Dubai and Thailand, 590 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,880 Speaker 2: and I just got back last week, and my mom's 591 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,480 Speaker 2: super sick. And even though I had someone caring for 592 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 2: my mom, a family member caring for my mom, Tory, 593 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 2: was I feeling guilty or wasn't I you know the answer, Yeah, 594 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,839 Speaker 2: you felt guilty because it's the way I brought I 595 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,319 Speaker 2: was brought up. Okay, So you know, for me, I 596 00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 2: do twelve step programs to manage that emotional stuff. And 597 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 2: you know, I'm not I'm not ashamed to say it 598 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,600 Speaker 2: because it is changing my life. Getting rid of the 599 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 2: guilt is one of the key pieces for my life 600 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:20,960 Speaker 2: to work better. Just throwing it out there. 601 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,400 Speaker 1: I will just say, guilt for me, I feel is 602 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:30,680 Speaker 1: the biggest albatross around my neck. So I applaud you 603 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 1: that you kind of found a way to unload yourself 604 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,520 Speaker 1: of guilt. Thank you, Toy. You know, I feel like 605 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 1: you suffer from this too. This is you know, guilt syndrome. 606 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 3: Wait, what is it? What is the proper name for that? 607 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 2: I mean it is it's just guilt. It's just guilt, 608 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 2: just guilt. But it's this idea that I mean, I 609 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,440 Speaker 2: don't feel like I can have fun unless everybody else 610 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 2: is in order and they're. 611 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,399 Speaker 3: Okay, same, and then it's gone to the extent where 612 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 3: I still can't have fun, right, Yes. 613 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 2: And that requires that's like going to the gym. I 614 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 2: have to practice this all the time. And what if 615 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 2: what if those feelings might be a reason that we 616 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 2: look the other way when there's a bag on the 617 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:28,920 Speaker 2: table and this is for everybody, and it might not 618 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 2: be guilt for some of your listeners, it might be 619 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 2: oh being you know, holding too many resentments. You know, 620 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,080 Speaker 2: if you've got too many resentments, that might be a cause. 621 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,759 Speaker 2: Like again, it's never about the stuff, it's what's going 622 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 2: on underneath. And if we're finding out there's a little 623 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 2: bit of guilt for you there and I know there's 624 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 2: a ton of it for. 625 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:56,000 Speaker 3: Me, then toun of it for me. Yeah, And guilt 626 00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:00,440 Speaker 3: is oh guilt guilt is not my guilty play like 627 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:08,000 Speaker 3: I yeah, it's like crazy, but I it's interesting because yeah, 628 00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:13,320 Speaker 3: my dad always had a lot of guilt, so that 629 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,879 Speaker 3: that definitely like was something we grew up like, oh, 630 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,920 Speaker 3: you know, it's in our nature, like we're just we 631 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,440 Speaker 3: feel guilty, and it's like okay, And I could see 632 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 3: some of my kids have it and some don't. Like 633 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,960 Speaker 3: my oldest feels guilty about everything. So he and I 634 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,880 Speaker 3: like we work on that together. He's said I'm sorry, 635 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,840 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I'm like no, no, no, and then he's like, okay, 636 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 3: but you don't say sorry. I'm like, you're right. So 637 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,200 Speaker 3: we like, you know, imaginary sorries for nothing, that you've 638 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,960 Speaker 3: done nothing wrong. But it's like, it's so interesting that 639 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 3: that can be like in our DNA and we're not 640 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 3: even aware of it. Like I raised all my children 641 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,719 Speaker 3: the same, but certain ones have it, certain ones don't. 642 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,319 Speaker 2: Right right, And look, I was trained in it. Not 643 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 2: to belittle my mother, but I was trained in guilt, 644 00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 2: really good training. I know what it's like to feel 645 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,960 Speaker 2: guilty and to make others feel guilty. I had to 646 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:13,680 Speaker 2: let go of that too. So I heard in one 647 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 2: of the meetings that I went to that it's and 648 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 2: I don't mean to say this about you, this is 649 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,440 Speaker 2: about me, but I heard them say to me, and 650 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 2: I was appalled that guilt is very selfish, Like what, 651 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,719 Speaker 2: how could that be possibly be wild? How could that 652 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:33,240 Speaker 2: possibly be? 653 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:38,319 Speaker 3: No, that makes perfect sense. I've never heard it put 654 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:51,040 Speaker 3: that way. You're right, guilt is incredibly selfish. Do you think, yeah, well, 655 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,080 Speaker 3: well we're not doing it on purpose. I mean, I 656 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:59,840 Speaker 3: think I don't know. Words are so loosely thrown around 657 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:04,799 Speaker 3: in this in this generation, I fear ever saying, you 658 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,640 Speaker 3: know the word narss, you know, if someone's a narcissist, 659 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 3: And it's like, we all use the word narcissists, we 660 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,520 Speaker 3: all use the word gaslighting. Like it's just so, I've 661 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:18,400 Speaker 3: come in the last two years to kind of redefine 662 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:23,400 Speaker 3: words for how it works for me, not what works 663 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 3: for everyone, because not nothing works for everybody. We're not 664 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,840 Speaker 3: a box, we're not a unit or individuals, we're humans. 665 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:37,400 Speaker 3: So defining something by a dictionary description doesn't work for everybody. 666 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:44,080 Speaker 3: So my point is, yeah, I the guilt spills over 667 00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,840 Speaker 3: to everyone around you. So that's when I agree it 668 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,400 Speaker 3: does become selfish. 669 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,759 Speaker 2: Oh it does. Imagine me if you will not that 670 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,759 Speaker 2: I'm trying to make your podcast about me. But here 671 00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,080 Speaker 2: I am I'm in another country with my husband and 672 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,640 Speaker 2: you know, his family, and we're having a great Wait 673 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:10,479 Speaker 2: a second, they are having a great time because I'm 674 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:14,560 Speaker 2: worried and I'm guilty and I shouldn't have booked the 675 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,279 Speaker 2: trip for so long. Tori, I knew I shouldn't have. 676 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,719 Speaker 2: I just do you know it takes something to get 677 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,160 Speaker 2: out of that. It takes a phone call to somebody 678 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 2: in one of my meetings to get over this guilt. 679 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,840 Speaker 2: And then I can pull it together and enjoy my 680 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:35,839 Speaker 2: swim in the ocean, warm, warm water. But again, I 681 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:39,800 Speaker 2: could either eat sugar or I could manage the guilt. 682 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:43,560 Speaker 3: I've never been a sugar person. 683 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 2: Well, you might do something else. You know, I'm gonna 684 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 2: I'm gonna pick on you for one. 685 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:54,440 Speaker 3: Sex please everyone else does. No, I'm just kidding. 686 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,359 Speaker 2: When I listen to the podcast, and I don't know 687 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:03,719 Speaker 2: if you use the word but I I don't have. 688 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,720 Speaker 2: Is it Ramona? Is that your lady? 689 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,720 Speaker 3: No, you're Aramona Mona Mona. 690 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:15,360 Speaker 2: I took your podcast and I asked chat GPT to 691 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:19,160 Speaker 2: tell me what word came up the most in that 692 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,719 Speaker 2: podcast about clutter. Do you want a guess or do 693 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 2: you want me to tell. 694 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:30,960 Speaker 3: You tell me swirl? 695 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,160 Speaker 2: What if, Tori, what if swirl were your thing? Like 696 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:40,640 Speaker 2: I eat sugar when I feel guilty, when you feel guilty? 697 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:41,399 Speaker 2: What if? 698 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,520 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm picking up what you're putting across here. So 699 00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:50,359 Speaker 3: let's put aside swirl and say chaos, because that's how 700 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,759 Speaker 3: I used to refer to what you are referring to 701 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:57,600 Speaker 3: a swirl. It gives me energy and. 702 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:02,239 Speaker 2: Energy you know, is that carries us. It carries us 703 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 2: through projects, it carries us through days that we can't 704 00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,239 Speaker 2: do the day, whatever it might be. 705 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,439 Speaker 3: It's interesting when you refer to this. When I think 706 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:20,400 Speaker 3: about it, Here's the thing. I'm not a person that 707 00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,799 Speaker 3: people think instinctually like, oh, you get defensive and I'm like, no, 708 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,520 Speaker 3: I'm just telling you everything, like I'm telling you, and 709 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:30,799 Speaker 3: it's human to kind of be like, but I am 710 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,320 Speaker 3: this or I have this. It's not that I'm defending 711 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 3: the situation, but I will tell you about things. So 712 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,480 Speaker 3: this I likened too when I was younger, and you'd 713 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,239 Speaker 3: feel like, oh, kind of like bummed down, quiet, and 714 00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:47,439 Speaker 3: then someone would come in and be like, oh, did 715 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,680 Speaker 3: you hear so and so was dating so and so. 716 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:51,960 Speaker 3: In school, you would hear that, and you'd be like 717 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,840 Speaker 3: what what And it was like this chatter woke you 718 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,280 Speaker 3: up even though you were so tired in your first class. 719 00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,319 Speaker 3: Does that make sense? Yes, yes, they would. That's a 720 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,280 Speaker 3: note so and so because so and so behind the lockers. 721 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,520 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I just age myself again. Can you'd 722 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,920 Speaker 3: be like zoning out in history class and be like what, 723 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:15,000 Speaker 3: I'm awake now? It was yeah, swirrel, chaos, the drama, 724 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:16,400 Speaker 3: the energy. Yes. 725 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,600 Speaker 2: So when one has a big life, yes, I say 726 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:24,400 Speaker 2: you might. When you have a big family, I say 727 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,920 Speaker 2: you might. When you have a lot of ideas, I 728 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:32,880 Speaker 2: say you might. Right, you're going to be in the 729 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,719 Speaker 2: spirit of a lot of energy giving and a lot 730 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 2: of energy sucking. And you know, so there you are 731 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 2: and who in the world. And this is just something 732 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 2: I say to anyone out there, who in the world, 733 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,640 Speaker 2: after you do your day, wants to do any organizing 734 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,880 Speaker 2: about anything, especially if it's not in your DNA. 735 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:58,920 Speaker 3: No, yes, I'm terrible with time management. But even if 736 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:03,480 Speaker 3: I were to have the odd hour off where it's 737 00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:08,279 Speaker 3: not work related or kid related, I'm speaking freely. I 738 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:13,280 Speaker 3: will literally And Ruth Anne knows this beyond with Mona 739 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,560 Speaker 3: and I've created. Last week, there was one hour so 740 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:22,480 Speaker 3: I could have yess, technically, I could have organized and 741 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 3: in that one hour I came away from that hour 742 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:35,160 Speaker 3: with a leg warmer collection I fully designed it, and 743 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 3: a jewelry collection. 744 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:48,200 Speaker 2: You see, beautiful creative projects are practical, doesn't mat. 745 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, the ideas are practical. I mean, I have to 746 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:58,400 Speaker 1: say that I think I'm having a revelation about you, Tori, 747 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:04,520 Speaker 1: is that you're void and behavior is being wildly creative 748 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,640 Speaker 1: and genius. Mine is going to take a nap, Like 749 00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,120 Speaker 1: when I want to avoid doing something, I'm like, I 750 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,719 Speaker 1: am a narc electic all of a sudden. Tori, on 751 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:16,000 Speaker 1: the other hand, designs a jewelry collection and getting rid 752 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:16,799 Speaker 1: of the clutter. 753 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,160 Speaker 3: And I often think about this. I mean, Ruthanne is 754 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,560 Speaker 3: my co host, my producer, but she's also one of 755 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,240 Speaker 3: my best friends. We've known each other how long twenty 756 00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:31,680 Speaker 3: five thirty years? Yep, yep, so we know everything about 757 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:32,000 Speaker 3: each other. 758 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:32,239 Speaker 2: Right. 759 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,759 Speaker 3: I'm always amazed because I cannot sleep, like sleep. It's 760 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 3: very hard for me because my brain won't shut off. 761 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,280 Speaker 3: So I'm always amazed that when she's stressed, she does 762 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,880 Speaker 3: When she's stressed, she will sleep, and I'm like, God, 763 00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,480 Speaker 3: how can she sleep? I always thought that was a 764 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,560 Speaker 3: male quality, not a female. I always like in that, 765 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,800 Speaker 3: like growing up that men. You know, you see pictures 766 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,439 Speaker 3: of everyone being like, oh they have a baby, right, 767 00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 3: and they're like always the photos of the father the baby, 768 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 3: and the baby's napping, the father's asleep. Meanwhile, women like, 769 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,560 Speaker 3: you know, we would never be able to fall asleep 770 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,439 Speaker 3: while we're with our baby. Like it's just like male 771 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:13,080 Speaker 3: versus female on some level. So I am I always 772 00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,600 Speaker 3: think about that, and Jess as well, Rutha. Jess can 773 00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,760 Speaker 3: fall asleep anywhere. So like two of my best friends, 774 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:20,440 Speaker 3: I'm like, God, how do they do that? But you're right, 775 00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:25,440 Speaker 3: my version of that with stress is creating. We shouldn't 776 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:26,759 Speaker 3: be like a trillionaire by now. 777 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,439 Speaker 2: If that's the case, well it's there's still a lot 778 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:35,359 Speaker 2: of times chick, yeah, but you're welcome. But here it is, here, 779 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:41,319 Speaker 2: it is. What's missing is the infrastructure, the infrastructure to 780 00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:47,680 Speaker 2: capture the leg warmers, the jewelry, the yesterday's idea, what's 781 00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:51,799 Speaker 2: coming up, and having someone to support you, like where 782 00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,800 Speaker 2: do you put that idea? 783 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:53,399 Speaker 3: How do you? 784 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:57,840 Speaker 2: And then how do you prioritize it. Really maybe jewelry 785 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,640 Speaker 2: is it? Does it move way up this? You know 786 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:07,399 Speaker 2: above other projects? See this is what is not I'm 787 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,120 Speaker 2: guessing in place for you is that project management system 788 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,120 Speaker 2: of toy and Toy. 789 00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,560 Speaker 3: I need a project manager. Yeah, like for what project 790 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:22,400 Speaker 3: Project tory? Yeah, project Tory can make a difference in 791 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,719 Speaker 3: this world for everybody. I'm telling you, I have the 792 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:29,560 Speaker 3: heart there, I just need the infil structure, Dorothy, I 793 00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:33,440 Speaker 3: I am not kidding, I was. I had anxiety getting 794 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,680 Speaker 3: on this podcast with you today. Okay, I had anxiety, 795 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:42,600 Speaker 3: and I right now I think I'm in love with you. 796 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,359 Speaker 3: There's so many epiphanies happening during this session with you. 797 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,440 Speaker 3: I am so grateful, Oh God, just because we're talking 798 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,759 Speaker 3: it through and things are coming to light that I 799 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:57,879 Speaker 3: never thought we're associated. If that makes sense, It does 800 00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:58,399 Speaker 3: make sense. 801 00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:00,960 Speaker 2: But I will tell you you see you CLA did 802 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 2: a study on the number of items in the average home. 803 00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,600 Speaker 2: It's something like three hundred or four hundred thousand items 804 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:15,000 Speaker 2: in the average home. Who everybody is facing this? Yeah, 805 00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:18,759 Speaker 2: I see, I hear your shock, Ruthan, But really it's 806 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 2: it's it's just rampant for all of us. I wrote 807 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:27,359 Speaker 2: a book toy called stuff your face or face your stuff, right, 808 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,719 Speaker 2: And that's because I either faced my stuff or I 809 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,000 Speaker 2: ate so those one or the other. So it could 810 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,400 Speaker 2: be that, or it could be you know, one about 811 00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:41,800 Speaker 2: you know, guilt avoidance. You know, Ruthanne mentioned the word 812 00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:50,280 Speaker 2: avoidance earlier. So maybe it's not really it's a collection 813 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,799 Speaker 2: of stuff. It's the piles that we have. You know, 814 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,239 Speaker 2: I have reporters and you know, sports figures and all 815 00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:58,880 Speaker 2: sorts of folks who have stuff. 816 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,960 Speaker 3: You know, what's coming to mind as we keep talking 817 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:06,000 Speaker 3: about these things, and I sometimes things just come to 818 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:10,080 Speaker 3: my mind. So I say it dream catchers. Yeah, what 819 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:14,040 Speaker 3: would be the version? It's almost like a clutter catcher 820 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,000 Speaker 3: or a we're trying to just think of terms here. 821 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:21,319 Speaker 3: Whatever gets someone to refocus on somebody that makes them happier, Like, 822 00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:25,800 Speaker 3: how do we merge those? Yeah, well, I love a 823 00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:26,640 Speaker 3: new business here. 824 00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:29,879 Speaker 2: Well I love the term DreamCatcher inside of it all, 825 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:35,319 Speaker 2: you know, I mean, clutter catcher could work too, But 826 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,359 Speaker 2: there's still the infrastructure. 827 00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,960 Speaker 3: We should we trademark that. I can't stop. 828 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,000 Speaker 2: I can't see the brain is and Tori, this is 829 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,200 Speaker 2: it for you, honey, yeah, if I could do anything, 830 00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:50,640 Speaker 2: I would be your full time assistant, twenty four hours 831 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:54,200 Speaker 2: a day, just writing down your ideas. It's hard to 832 00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,920 Speaker 2: have so many ideas and be so creative, it really is. 833 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,960 Speaker 2: And I do you know how many book ideas I 834 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 2: have in my my in basket over here, just tons, 835 00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 2: so many. 836 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,120 Speaker 3: Wait, I'm not making this about me, but I'm gonna 837 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:14,480 Speaker 3: make this about me. Whenever people give me compliments, I 838 00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:18,440 Speaker 3: can't take them. Correct ruthan, she fell asleep. Sorry, I'm 839 00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 3: just kidding, but I'm bunch that was a call back. 840 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:25,320 Speaker 3: Sorry she got stressed. 841 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:33,480 Speaker 2: And she's like, oh god, no, uh yeah. 842 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:37,240 Speaker 3: You are correct. You are correct. When you just said 843 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:39,279 Speaker 3: that someone would follow me around and write down all 844 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,120 Speaker 3: of my creative ideas for once, I didn't say like, 845 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,240 Speaker 3: oh no, I'm not worthy. 846 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, that would be You say that all 847 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,000 Speaker 1: the time, which is funny because you are always like 848 00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:50,640 Speaker 1: all I need is. 849 00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,280 Speaker 2: Following you around writing down your ideas. 850 00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,960 Speaker 3: That's all I say. I will drive poor ruth and 851 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:01,759 Speaker 3: mad because we will be talking about something and I'm like, 852 00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,000 Speaker 3: oh my god, wait, you know what would be funny? 853 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,520 Speaker 3: We could do this idea? And she's like, thank God 854 00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,160 Speaker 3: bless her brain, semi worklife. So she's like, can follow, 855 00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:10,360 Speaker 3: but it's a lot. 856 00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so there's this. 857 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,880 Speaker 3: Paper and paper, Yeah. 858 00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,799 Speaker 2: I'll be I'll be brief on this. There's a thing 859 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,960 Speaker 2: called body double A and I when I say that, 860 00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:26,040 Speaker 2: I follow people around, like I have CEOs that I've 861 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,080 Speaker 2: worked with, right, who are my clients, And they can't 862 00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 2: understand why they can't even take a lunch. There's no 863 00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:34,560 Speaker 2: time to go to the restroom. You know what's going on? 864 00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,719 Speaker 2: The gas is running out of their car. I mean, 865 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:40,640 Speaker 2: these are very successful people and the electricity bill has 866 00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:44,080 Speaker 2: just turned off. Why is this happening? Because when I 867 00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:48,400 Speaker 2: follow them around, they and I'll use the term because 868 00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:52,360 Speaker 2: it's so common, they are swirling. It's just one idea 869 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,680 Speaker 2: after the next, after the next. They can barely keep 870 00:53:55,760 --> 00:54:00,200 Speaker 2: up with themselves. Their brain is so active, and so 871 00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,600 Speaker 2: we need one person to keep track of it, help 872 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:07,400 Speaker 2: us prioritize it, and a strong person who can say, 873 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,960 Speaker 2: you've got to put one in priority position here because 874 00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,200 Speaker 2: all the rest has to wait. I have people doing 875 00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,680 Speaker 2: that for me because I've got a lot going on 876 00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:16,239 Speaker 2: in my brain. 877 00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:20,200 Speaker 3: My dear, Okay, wait, what did I say? We needed 878 00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:24,480 Speaker 3: red in stenographer. Now we did say. 879 00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,560 Speaker 1: That, but then we cracked out because that wasn't really 880 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:27,080 Speaker 1: what we meant. 881 00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,759 Speaker 3: But now, well, yeah, I just need someone to follow me. 882 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:34,879 Speaker 3: Everybody to follow you around? Like case no good in theory, Like, 883 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:39,400 Speaker 3: let's test it out. Let's have someone follow me around 884 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:42,359 Speaker 3: all day, just for twenty four hours and write down 885 00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:46,839 Speaker 3: everything and see what happens. Yeah, that's what a lot 886 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,719 Speaker 3: of Then you actually have to make changes. That's a 887 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,320 Speaker 3: good stup. It's perspect. 888 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,000 Speaker 2: You. Let me know if you want anything. If you 889 00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:56,799 Speaker 2: want me to come and follow you, I'll follow you 890 00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:57,440 Speaker 2: for a day. 891 00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:01,799 Speaker 3: No, I'll follow you. Wait stop, no, seriously, you're making 892 00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:02,520 Speaker 3: me feel guilty. 893 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,279 Speaker 1: Oh Tory, stop let her let her come and help you. 894 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:09,000 Speaker 1: Please wait, let her help you help me. 895 00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:10,439 Speaker 2: Sure, I'm sure. 896 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,720 Speaker 3: I mean I would love to get together with you, Dorothy, 897 00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,919 Speaker 3: but I know you're super busy, but I would be. Yes. 898 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:22,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you. We'll stay in touch, no problem. 899 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,319 Speaker 2: But I'm here for you if you need a little 900 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,880 Speaker 2: bit of anything. No, seriously, thank you. I'm grateful honestly 901 00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:30,920 Speaker 2: for you or your listeners. You let me know. 902 00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:33,440 Speaker 3: Thank you. Oh my god, I feel so good that 903 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:34,680 Speaker 3: we did this podcast today. 904 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,520 Speaker 2: Thank you too, You're a gem. 905 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:38,000 Speaker 3: Thank you. 906 00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,799 Speaker 2: Warning warning, warning, warning compliment. 907 00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,200 Speaker 3: Look at me. I took it. Now I'm gonna get 908 00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,480 Speaker 3: on the phone mic drop. 909 00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,600 Speaker 2: Thank you, Dorothy, You're welcome. What a pleasure. By Hon