Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to look for the garbage cans. Often the
Speaker 1: images we see of other people's lives have had parts
Speaker 1: strategically left out. When you pay attention, you can see
Speaker 1: that which can keep you from comparing your real life
Speaker 1: to an unattainable fantasy. If you read my blog Laura
Speaker 1: Vanderkam dot com, you saw that my family recently put
Speaker 1: our house on the market. Real estate photos are quite
Speaker 1: the genre. I am fascinated by the fact that photographers
Speaker 1: invariably remove the trash cans before snapping pictures. If you
Speaker 1: haven't noticed this before, pull up your favorite real estate
Speaker 1: site and you will see what I mean. You will
Speaker 1: see home offices and bathrooms and kitchens and laundry rooms
Speaker 1: with no garbage cans anywhere. Apparently, in our dream home fantasies,
Speaker 1: we never need to throw away banana peels or dental
Speaker 1: floss or used dryer sheets. When photos were taken of
Speaker 1: our house before we listed it, we even took the
Speaker 1: shampoo out of the shower and the dish soap away
Speaker 1: from the kitchen. Sink. I'm not quite sure how a
Speaker 1: house and its inhabitants are supposed to stay clean without
Speaker 1: dish soap, shampoo, or trash cans, but that is the fantasy.
Speaker 1: Real estate sites aren't the only places where the staged
Speaker 1: image can be different from the reality. Social media of
Speaker 1: photos and posts, holiday letters, class notes in your alumni newsletter.
Speaker 1: All of these are contexts where people routinely construct an
Speaker 1: image of their lives where the real and metaphorical garbage
Speaker 1: cans have been put somewhere else. And of course there's
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with this. Who wouldn't crop the amount of
Speaker 1: dirty laundry out of that photo of your dog before
Speaker 1: posting it on Instagram? You really don't need to report
Speaker 1: in the class notes that you and your spouse are
Speaker 1: arguing daily about how to parent your team. The problem
Speaker 1: comes when we compare someone else's edited image with our
Speaker 1: own messy reality. Of course, we feel like our lives
Speaker 1: just can't compare with the fantasy of someone else's life
Speaker 1: in all its waste basketless glory. But instead of getting discouraged,
Speaker 1: remind yourself to look for the garbage cans if you
Speaker 1: are looking at a picture of someone's home office, and
Speaker 1: there doesn't appear to be anywhere that you could throw
Speaker 1: away a piece of paper, then you can recognize that
Speaker 1: this is probably not the normal state of affairs. Everyone
Speaker 1: needs to throw things away, even people who live in
Speaker 1: houses that look like they belong on Pinterest. Indeed, in
Speaker 1: the throws of dinner or a big project, their kitchen
Speaker 1: or home office probably looks a lot like yours. If
Speaker 1: you don't see the garbage can, you can rest assured
Speaker 1: that it is just hidden out of your view. You
Speaker 1: aren't being shown the full picture. Everybody has a little
Speaker 1: disorder in their lives, even if we crop it out
Speaker 1: when we can in so don't compare your life to
Speaker 1: that fiction. He will just wind up unhappy or maybe
Speaker 1: hiding your own trash can. And then where are you
Speaker 1: going to throw away your dirty tissues? In the meantime,
Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
Speaker 1: and Instagram at before Breakfast pod that's B the number
Speaker 1: four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot
Speaker 1: me an email at before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot
Speaker 1: com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the
Speaker 1: letters thanks so much, should I look forward to staying
Speaker 1: in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For
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