WEBVTT - Second Cup: Look for the garbage cans

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to look for the garbage cans. Often the

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<v Speaker 1>images we see of other people's lives have had parts

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<v Speaker 1>strategically left out. When you pay attention, you can see

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<v Speaker 1>that which can keep you from comparing your real life

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<v Speaker 1>to an unattainable fantasy. If you read my blog Laura

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<v Speaker 1>Vanderkam dot com, you saw that my family recently put

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<v Speaker 1>our house on the market. Real estate photos are quite

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<v Speaker 1>the genre. I am fascinated by the fact that photographers

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<v Speaker 1>invariably remove the trash cans before snapping pictures. If you

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<v Speaker 1>haven't noticed this before, pull up your favorite real estate

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<v Speaker 1>site and you will see what I mean. You will

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<v Speaker 1>see home offices and bathrooms and kitchens and laundry rooms

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<v Speaker 1>with no garbage cans anywhere. Apparently, in our dream home fantasies,

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<v Speaker 1>we never need to throw away banana peels or dental

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<v Speaker 1>floss or used dryer sheets. When photos were taken of

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<v Speaker 1>our house before we listed it, we even took the

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<v Speaker 1>shampoo out of the shower and the dish soap away

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<v Speaker 1>from the kitchen. Sink. I'm not quite sure how a

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<v Speaker 1>house and its inhabitants are supposed to stay clean without

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<v Speaker 1>dish soap, shampoo, or trash cans, but that is the fantasy.

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<v Speaker 1>Real estate sites aren't the only places where the staged

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<v Speaker 1>image can be different from the reality. Social media of

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<v Speaker 1>photos and posts, holiday letters, class notes in your alumni newsletter.

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<v Speaker 1>All of these are contexts where people routinely construct an

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<v Speaker 1>image of their lives where the real and metaphorical garbage

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<v Speaker 1>cans have been put somewhere else. And of course there's

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<v Speaker 1>nothing wrong with this. Who wouldn't crop the amount of

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<v Speaker 1>dirty laundry out of that photo of your dog before

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<v Speaker 1>posting it on Instagram? You really don't need to report

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<v Speaker 1>in the class notes that you and your spouse are

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<v Speaker 1>arguing daily about how to parent your team. The problem

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<v Speaker 1>comes when we compare someone else's edited image with our

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<v Speaker 1>own messy reality. Of course, we feel like our lives

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<v Speaker 1>just can't compare with the fantasy of someone else's life

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<v Speaker 1>in all its waste basketless glory. But instead of getting discouraged,

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<v Speaker 1>remind yourself to look for the garbage cans if you

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<v Speaker 1>are looking at a picture of someone's home office, and

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<v Speaker 1>there doesn't appear to be anywhere that you could throw

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<v Speaker 1>away a piece of paper, then you can recognize that

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<v Speaker 1>this is probably not the normal state of affairs. Everyone

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<v Speaker 1>needs to throw things away, even people who live in

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<v Speaker 1>houses that look like they belong on Pinterest. Indeed, in

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<v Speaker 1>the throws of dinner or a big project, their kitchen

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<v Speaker 1>or home office probably looks a lot like yours. If

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<v Speaker 1>you don't see the garbage can, you can rest assured

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<v Speaker 1>that it is just hidden out of your view. You

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<v Speaker 1>aren't being shown the full picture. Everybody has a little

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<v Speaker 1>disorder in their lives, even if we crop it out

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<v Speaker 1>when we can in so don't compare your life to

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<v Speaker 1>that fiction. He will just wind up unhappy or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>hiding your own trash can. And then where are you

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<v Speaker 1>going to throw away your dirty tissues? In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at before Breakfast pod that's B the number

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<v Speaker 1>four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot

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<v Speaker 1>me an email at before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot

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<v Speaker 1>com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the

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<v Speaker 1>letters thanks so much, should I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For

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