1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 1: tip is to look for the garbage cans. Often the 4 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: images we see of other people's lives have had parts 5 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: strategically left out. When you pay attention, you can see 6 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: that which can keep you from comparing your real life 7 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: to an unattainable fantasy. If you read my blog Laura 8 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: Vanderkam dot com, you saw that my family recently put 9 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: our house on the market. Real estate photos are quite 10 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: the genre. I am fascinated by the fact that photographers 11 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: invariably remove the trash cans before snapping pictures. If you 12 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: haven't noticed this before, pull up your favorite real estate 13 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: site and you will see what I mean. You will 14 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: see home offices and bathrooms and kitchens and laundry rooms 15 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 1: with no garbage cans anywhere. Apparently, in our dream home fantasies, 16 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,119 Speaker 1: we never need to throw away banana peels or dental 17 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: floss or used dryer sheets. When photos were taken of 18 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: our house before we listed it, we even took the 19 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: shampoo out of the shower and the dish soap away 20 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: from the kitchen. Sink. I'm not quite sure how a 21 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: house and its inhabitants are supposed to stay clean without 22 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: dish soap, shampoo, or trash cans, but that is the fantasy. 23 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: Real estate sites aren't the only places where the staged 24 00:01:55,800 --> 00:02:00,160 Speaker 1: image can be different from the reality. Social media of 25 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: photos and posts, holiday letters, class notes in your alumni newsletter. 26 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: All of these are contexts where people routinely construct an 27 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: image of their lives where the real and metaphorical garbage 28 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 1: cans have been put somewhere else. And of course there's 29 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with this. Who wouldn't crop the amount of 30 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: dirty laundry out of that photo of your dog before 31 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: posting it on Instagram? You really don't need to report 32 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: in the class notes that you and your spouse are 33 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: arguing daily about how to parent your team. The problem 34 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: comes when we compare someone else's edited image with our 35 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: own messy reality. Of course, we feel like our lives 36 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: just can't compare with the fantasy of someone else's life 37 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: in all its waste basketless glory. But instead of getting discouraged, 38 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 1: remind yourself to look for the garbage cans if you 39 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: are looking at a picture of someone's home office, and 40 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 1: there doesn't appear to be anywhere that you could throw 41 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: away a piece of paper, then you can recognize that 42 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: this is probably not the normal state of affairs. Everyone 43 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 1: needs to throw things away, even people who live in 44 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: houses that look like they belong on Pinterest. Indeed, in 45 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: the throws of dinner or a big project, their kitchen 46 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: or home office probably looks a lot like yours. If 47 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: you don't see the garbage can, you can rest assured 48 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: that it is just hidden out of your view. You 49 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: aren't being shown the full picture. Everybody has a little 50 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: disorder in their lives, even if we crop it out 51 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: when we can in so don't compare your life to 52 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: that fiction. He will just wind up unhappy or maybe 53 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: hiding your own trash can. And then where are you 54 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: going to throw away your dirty tissues? In the meantime, 55 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 56 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 57 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,799 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 58 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook 59 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: and Instagram at before Breakfast pod that's B the number 60 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot 61 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,280 Speaker 1: me an email at before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot 62 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the 63 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: letters thanks so much, should I look forward to staying 64 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 1: in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For 65 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 66 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.