1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts. 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: from these sponsors, So stick around two minutes and we'll 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 3: My daughter says she's ugly because she looks like her dad. 8 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 2: Well, it's about what you look like on the inside, sweetheart. 9 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 3: My husband and I have three daughters. They are all 10 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 3: absolutely gorgeous. Our oldest nineteen and youngest thirteen look more 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 3: like me, while our middle daughter, seventeen, looks like her father. 12 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user Clove thirty three 13 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 3: fifty five. And you want to meet your own stories, 14 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime suburt it. I'm Keon, 15 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice Googly, 16 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 17 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 3: what we do, so please, please, please please let us 18 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 3: know what you do in the comments below. My husband 19 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 3: definitely has more strong and unique features, but I find 20 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 3: him incredibly good looking, which is why I even married him. 21 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 3: Our middle daughter, however, has decided that her father is 22 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 3: ugly and by looking like him, so is she. 23 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 2: Oh. 24 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 3: I feel very sad that she's trying to compare herself 25 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 3: to BS beauty standards. Unfortunately, she's also been teased at school. 26 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 3: Oh no, and while we managed to stop that, it 27 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 3: hasn't helped the issue. Our daughter's problems with her appearance 28 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 3: started when she was around twelve, and despite therapy and 29 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 3: us trying various techniques recommended by therapists, her attitude is unchanged. 30 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 3: But it's really escalated the past few years when she 31 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 3: started blaming her father for inheriting his genes. I have 32 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 3: shut her down every time, but my husband just lets 33 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 3: her blame him if I'm not around. That sucks. Recently, 34 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 3: my poor husband broke down in tears while we were 35 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 3: in bed and said he felt really guilty that our 36 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 3: daughter looks like him and that he can't help that 37 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 3: he's ugly. No, he has never had issues with his 38 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 3: appearance before and was always very confident. I was completely crushed. 39 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 3: My husband also said that we shouldn't maybe look into 40 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 3: paying for some of the plastic surgery our daughter has demanded. 41 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 3: I disagree with that completely, and we fought over it. 42 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 3: The next day. I confronted my daughter and I told her, 43 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 3: I understand she has serious self esteem issues, but she's 44 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 3: being cruel to her father. This triggered a meltdown from her, 45 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 3: and she hasn't talked to any of us since. She 46 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 3: hasn't left her room in nearly two weeks. She won't 47 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 3: even eat unless one of us leaves food outside her door. 48 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 3: My husband is gutted and is still blaming himself. 49 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 2: Was I wrong to say what I did? 50 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 3: And we have some relevant comments and the verdict which 51 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,359 Speaker 3: is from that comments, but we'll get that in a second. 52 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 3: What do you say if your daughter or your son 53 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 3: was like, you gave me this space, I look hideous 54 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 3: because of you. 55 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 2: Well, I think, first of all, I'd be like, you're seventeen. 56 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 2: You're not gonna look like this forever. You look like 57 00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 2: you're seventeen, and yet you want plastic surgery, you wait 58 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 2: until you're in your mid late twenties, because that's when 59 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 2: you really actually settle into your appearance in your face, 60 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 2: I think, and if at that point you're still like 61 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 2: viciously unhappy with the way you look, well you can 62 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 2: do plastic surgery. But I think the root of the 63 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 2: problem isn't really how you look, it's how you look 64 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 2: at yourself. 65 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 3: Let's read these relevant comments and again the verdict says, 66 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 3: not the A hole for what Opie did. Three to 67 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 3: the Head says, as someone said it, it's just a 68 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 3: genetic lottery, and she got what she thinks is the 69 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 3: short end of the stick. Reading this makes me grateful 70 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 3: that my kid doesn't blame me for suffering from a 71 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 3: genetic illness that makes my kid unable to do most 72 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 3: day to day things that other teenagers do. That being said, 73 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 3: you and your husband are definitely not a holes, and 74 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 3: your kid obviously needs more help than what she's been 75 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 3: getting in terms of therapy. It sounds like it goes 76 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 3: deeper than just being a braddy seventeen year old. 77 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: I'm going to vote no A. 78 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 3: Holes here because we don't know the extent of your 79 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 3: child's mental health at this time. I hope she gets 80 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 3: the help she needs from I'm a therapist that looks deeper. Hope. 81 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 3: He responds with we have tried a few different therapists, 82 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 3: but none have helped. It's been so emotionally draining for years. 83 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 3: Milsery T says, not the A hole, but also have 84 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,679 Speaker 3: you thought of getting her checked for body dysmorphic disorder. Granted, 85 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,160 Speaker 3: I've had self esteem issues my entire life and also 86 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 3: look like my dad, but I've never felt it was 87 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 3: his fault, and this just seems way over the top, 88 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 3: even for just regular teenage self esteem problems. I hope 89 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 3: he responds with she's been evaluated for it, but it's 90 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 3: not the case. The therapist says. She's looking to blame 91 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 3: someone for something out of her control. But I think 92 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 3: it's very unfair that my husband has to bear that 93 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 3: burden mucho Mango says not the a hole. Being a 94 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 3: teenager is the worst, and when my self esteem was 95 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 3: at an all time low, So in that sense, I 96 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 3: sympathize with your daughter. However, unless she's entirely self controlled 97 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 3: or dumb, then she knows that what she's doing is 98 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 3: hurtful and wrong. If she's already been to various therapists, then, sadly, 99 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 3: I'm not sure what would be the next step, but 100 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 3: it's clear she does need help. Whatever you do, please 101 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 3: don't pay for her plastic surgery. That's only rewarding her 102 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 3: crappy behavior. She's almost eighteen. If she wants it that badly, 103 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 3: she can get a job and start saving to pay 104 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 3: for it herself. Hope. He responds with, it's not even 105 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 3: a matter of paying for the surgery. What she wants 106 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 3: sounds very dangerous. One surgery is shaving her jaw down practical. 107 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 3: Wes says, I don't know. I might have to go 108 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 3: with everyone sucks here. If she's getting bullied and wants 109 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 3: jaw shaving surgery, that makes me think of Bruce Willis 110 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 3: and Demi Moore's three daughters. They all look like Bruce 111 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 3: and rumor the daughter was horribly bullied about her face 112 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 3: jaw in particular. 113 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 4: I agree the. 114 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 3: Daughter is being horrible to her father, blaming him. But 115 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 3: sometimes what is attractive or accepted as a quirky look 116 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 3: on a man is not accepted on a woman. But 117 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 3: is it possible that between her being your daughter as 118 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 3: well as resembling your husband, you aren't acknowledging that. I 119 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 3: do think she should wait and see if she grows 120 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 3: into her face, but I wouldn't say that she shouldn't 121 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 3: ever have surgery. However, if that's what she still wants, 122 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 3: Opie replies, she doesn't have the average feminine features. Yes, 123 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 3: and it's a strong jaw, and I hate that she 124 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 3: doesn't like it, but she truly is very striking and 125 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 3: an absolutely gorgeous side profile. But since I'm her mother, 126 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 3: I get dismissed. The surgeries she wants do not sound 127 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 3: safe at all, and she's still so young and we 128 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 3: have an update. 129 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: That's what I was saying is it's like, sure, if 130 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 2: you really want to do that when you get older 131 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 2: and do it, but it's like, you really don't need to. 132 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 2: I mean, I you know, there is a very few 133 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 2: people who like would actually benefit from plastic surgery. 134 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 3: But there's also the thing of what if the surgery 135 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 3: is botched and she's still she's still growing into her face, 136 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 3: Like I would like I would take take her to 137 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 3: like a a a surgeon, a plastic surgeon and be like, hey, 138 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 3: you know she wants to do this, what you know, 139 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 3: what could happen? What are the you know, the negative 140 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 3: aspects of doing this. If she really is set on it, 141 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 3: when should she do it? For like women in their 142 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 3: you know, young age, when should plastic surgery actually be 143 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 3: an option? Because I know a lot. I know I 144 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 3: have a couple of friends who did plastic surgery for 145 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 3: their noses and they wanted to do it for a while. 146 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's like the most probably common, 147 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: that's the most common one, or maybe like lip filler 148 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 2: or something. 149 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 3: And they're like, I couldn't do it so young because 150 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 3: I was still growing into my full face there said 151 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 3: early twenties. But again, when she's an adult, she's an adult. 152 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 3: She can just do whatever she wants. 153 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 2: I used to wanna have plastic surgery for my nose 154 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 2: because I have I have a little note. I have 155 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 2: a nose that goes up, and I had always wanted 156 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 2: one that was like down, like the you know, the 157 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 2: strong nose. Everybody has that stuff. And I just gruin 158 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 2: to it and it's fine, come on, gurly, it's fine. Okay. 159 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 3: We do have an update December eighth, twenty twenty three 160 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 3: months later. 161 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 2: It's headed in the positive direction mostly. 162 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 3: My daughter ended up moving to my parents' house last month, 163 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 3: and while my husband and I were upset, the space 164 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 3: definitely helped ease attention at home. I go see her 165 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 3: every day on a walk, but she's still holding a 166 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 3: grudge against her father and refuses to see him, which 167 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 3: makes him incredibly sad. But one thing that was brought 168 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 3: up in The last point was something that made me 169 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 3: angry at first, but after a few days I saw 170 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 3: the point. I love my children with all my heart, 171 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 3: and to me, they're all incredibly beautiful. But I think 172 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 3: I'm doing a disservice to my daughter by insisting to 173 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 3: her that she is beautiful and not really trying to 174 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 3: see her point of view. I am very attracted to 175 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 3: my husband and find him handsome, but objectively, he doesn't 176 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 3: have traditional beautiful features, and my daughter has inherited those features. 177 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 3: So I no longer try to convince my daughter that 178 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 3: she's as beautiful as her sister's because she's right that. 179 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 3: As her mother, I don't see her how she sees herself, 180 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 3: and I can't really relate to her or to how 181 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 3: she's feeling, because I've never had those thoughts. My husband 182 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 3: and I have agreed to let our daughter have a 183 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 3: consolation with a plastic surgeon once the pandemic is over, 184 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 3: and we will pay for some of the procedures if 185 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 3: she wants, but we did agree that Josh is not 186 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 3: a procedure will we will be paying for as much 187 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 3: as it'll unallive me that she wants to change the 188 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 3: face I love and saw grow up. It's clearly a 189 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 3: face that is ruining her mental health, and it's her 190 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 3: choice what she wants to do with her body. I 191 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 3: rather pay for a proper surgeon than for her to 192 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: do some cheap, illegal procedure elsewhere. My next steps are 193 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 3: convincing my husband to get mental help himself for all 194 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 3: the negative emotions he's been harboring for a while. That's 195 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 3: another challenge, that's for sure. 196 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 2: I feel like this girl's brain isn't fully developed, and 197 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 2: a lot of these things and thoughts and feelings are 198 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 2: coming from a place of just like not understanding what's 199 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 2: important in life. And it's not possible to understand it 200 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: when you're that age, really oftentimes because you're just in 201 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 2: this little microscopic version of reality called high school. 202 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, here's what I'm really, really, really scared of. She 203 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 3: has the plastic surgery. Great, she hates it. She still 204 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 3: hates her face. Right what now, you're like you did 205 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 3: the one thing that was like you're banking on it, 206 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 3: like this is going to change my life. It might, 207 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 3: it might, who knows it might. But if she gets 208 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 3: a botch surgery or. 209 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 2: She takes it, you have to be able to own 210 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 2: it first before you just like rely on like some 211 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 2: sort of outside thing to fix you. 212 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 3: Let's finish this story. And even more difficult is how 213 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 3: to fix the relationship between my husband and my daughter. 214 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 3: I'm just at a loss for that. I need to 215 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 3: get them in a room with a therapist and I 216 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 3: will be working on it. Final comments here, Commenter number 217 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 3: one says, glad to hear that you've taken her insecurity seriously, 218 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 3: but I would strongly recommend for therapy first before a 219 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 3: consultation with the plastic surgeon because she's still a minor. 220 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 3: Good luck Opie says, She's been going to therapy for 221 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 3: several years now. I'm her number two. Thank you for responding, 222 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 3: and a very good thing if the therapy is about 223 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 3: her self image, but very troubling if she's still blaming 224 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 3: her father for the way she looks, especially while in therapy. 225 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 3: Is family therapy an option in this case? What does 226 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 3: the therapist say about plastic surgery? Opie responds with that's 227 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 3: kind of the issue right now. I want to get 228 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 3: family therapy, but she's refusing. We're helping that taking her 229 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 3: to a plastic surgery consultation will show that we are 230 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 3: acting in good faith and she'll agree to have a 231 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 3: dialogue with how she's treating her father. We've done family 232 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 3: therapy in the past, but this was before she was 233 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 3: blaming her father. Opie says, once again, told her daughter 234 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 3: most likely has body dysmorphic disorder and is handling this wrong, 235 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 3: and Opie responds with I find statements like this really 236 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 3: bizarre because I even state in my original post that 237 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 3: my daughter has been evaluated by professionals, yes multiple and 238 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 3: she does not have body dysmorphic disorder. Believe it or not, 239 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 3: I have more of an interest in the well being 240 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 3: of my child than you some some random person online, 241 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 3: And all decisions my husband and I have made have 242 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 3: been guided by mental health professionals and doctors. Just because 243 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 3: you're here accusing me of not caring about my daughter 244 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 3: doesn't make it true. I mean, that's why Opie's going 245 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,439 Speaker 3: to the internet, because she's got every corner. She's probably 246 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 3: gone to family friends for many, many professionals, and they're 247 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 3: just all baffled of like, we don't know why she 248 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 3: really hates Like she must really hate her dad for 249 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 3: some other reason other than her looks. But maybe it 250 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 3: is just her looks. 251 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 2: I don't know. 252 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,439 Speaker 3: I think you're navigating this in a very delicate way, 253 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 3: which it should be handled. It sucks that she just 254 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 3: is just one tunnel vision of Dad's ugly which comes 255 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 3: back to me, which makes me ugly. Nothing's gonna change 256 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 3: that until I get plastic surgery. No professionals going to 257 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 3: tell me different. My mental health is fine. I don't 258 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 3: have body this morphic disorder. I'm just ugly because of Dad. 259 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 3: And that's that, which is just Yeah. I think there's 260 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 3: more to it. But if that's what everyone says, that's crazy. 261 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,199 Speaker 3: And that's the end of his story. We're going to 262 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 3: go on to the next one. 263 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 2: My father's wife faked being sick and ruined his life. 264 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 3: That's pretty sick. 265 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 2: For context, my dad sixty five male, has been married 266 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 2: three times, Me twenty six female, and my siblings Leo 267 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 2: twenty three male and Vanessa twenty four female come from 268 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 2: his first marriage. When I was twenty one, he married 269 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 2: his third wife, fran Scene sixty five female. Over the 270 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 2: years of their marriage until this year, I always thought 271 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 2: fran Scene was strange. By the way, this comes from 272 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 2: user Educational Dog sixt' nine four Six and if you 273 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 2: want to submit your own. Stories go to the our 274 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 2: Slash okay storytime subburn. It I'm, Dakota I'm. Keon we 275 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 2: are here to give you good Advice, goofily but we 276 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 2: don't have all the. Answers we don't know how to 277 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 2: fix your ruined. Life, always if your wife lied about 278 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 2: your being ill or, SOMETHING i don't. Know we only 279 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 2: know what we would do or what we would. Think 280 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 2: so if you would do with say and think something, 281 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 2: else just put in the. Comments let us know little 282 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 2: things like not allowing our Stepsister hannah eighteen female to 283 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 2: drink juice or make comments about how much she was 284 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,559 Speaker 2: eating when she was twelve or. Thirteen LATER i found 285 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 2: Out hannah was struggling as a teenager with an eating. 286 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 2: Disorder scene never showed much interest in, Myself vanessa Or. 287 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 2: Leo this was fine with us since we were adults 288 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 2: by the time she came into our. Lives she was at, Birthdays, Christmas, 289 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 2: thanksgiving but never really gave anything more than a joint 290 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: gift with our. Father she would leave early from theater 291 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 2: productions we, participated and never made it to rugby, games 292 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 2: and only ever asked us when we are going to 293 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 2: have children and get. Married that was all she cared. 294 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 2: About francine always had the quote unquote health. Problems she 295 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 2: always overreacted to our, perfume shampoo or the smell of 296 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: tobacco on our. Clothes my mom and, grandmother who had 297 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 2: primary care of, us were, schmokers so since they were, 298 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 2: married me and my siblings barely ever saw my dad 299 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 2: in case we Sent francene into some kind of allergy. 300 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 2: Shock her allergies were different every time we see her corn, 301 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 2: syrup red, dye number, five, yogurt. Peanuts the list goes 302 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 2: on and Things i'll see her eating the next TIME 303 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 2: I i see. Her fast forward to this past year 304 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 2: of twenty twenty. Two francine was quote unquote diagnosed with 305 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 2: stage four lungs In april and was given a year to. 306 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 2: Live my siblings AND i made sure we supported our distraught, 307 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 2: father who was very upset in taking the news very. 308 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 2: Hard later that, year In, december my grandmother was also 309 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 2: diagnosed with stage four Longer for further, CONTEXT i Was grandma's, 310 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 2: favorite her favorite. Grandkid we shared a bedroom for most 311 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 2: of my. Life she would babysit me when my mom 312 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 2: needed a, break AND i loved to say That my 313 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: grandma was my first, love the PERSON i learned to 314 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 2: love BEFORE i even understood how to love my. Parents 315 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 2: she met so much to, me and she progressively and 316 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 2: very quickly got sicker and. WEAKER i took a leave 317 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 2: of absence from work to help my mom care for 318 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 2: her on hospice until she passed away in Early february 319 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 2: of twenty twenty, three AND i took the loss, very very. 320 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 2: HARD i was in therapy twice a week the weeks 321 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 2: after she. Passed my family AND i were all trying 322 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 2: to get our lives together without our main support. System 323 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 2: my sister went on medication for her mental, health my 324 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 2: brother fought to get a promotion at, work AND i 325 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 2: had turned twenty six That january and started mapping out 326 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 2: my future with my long term, boyfriend including what to 327 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 2: do about health. Insurance at the end of the, year 328 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 2: WHEN i was no longer covered By francine's, plan here's 329 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 2: WHERE i might be an a. HOLE i Texted francine 330 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 2: asking if there was a DATE i was going to 331 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: be taken off SO i could cement my plans SO 332 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 2: i was. Covered she sent me a three paragraph essay 333 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 2: about how she had care and the only TIME i 334 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 2: ever texted her was BECAUSE i needed. SOMETHING i told 335 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 2: her that was, true, because AND i, quote let's face, 336 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 2: it you are as interested in me AS i am in. 337 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 2: You you never reached out when my grandmother passed, away 338 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 2: knowing full well my relationship with, her or when my 339 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 2: other grandma passed away early twenty twenty. Two you never 340 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 2: ask about me or anything in my, life and don't 341 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 2: even Know i'm coming up on my graduation date for nursing, 342 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 2: school or know How i'm doing in? General how dare 343 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 2: you come at me when you haven't even checked yourself 344 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 2: be an adult and admit we aren't even, friends let alone. 345 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 2: Family the phone works two, ways and if you wanted 346 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 2: to have a relationship with me that, bad you should have. 347 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 2: Tried WHEN i was twenty, one in, PRIVATE i told my, 348 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 2: siblings my, mother, friends and boyfriend THAT i think she 349 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 2: is lying about HAVING i. Thought first stated by my 350 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 2: mother and later my boyfriend in two separate. Conversations she 351 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 2: claims to be allergic to the chemo and is doing 352 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 2: coffee anemas and juice cleanses she claims are helping her. Cancer, 353 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 2: yeah she's absolutely full of. It that's. 354 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 3: Crazy one nice text, BACK opi that's a pretty good 355 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 3: you called her. Out but also that's. Insane she, SAYS 356 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 3: i can't do. Chemo i'm allergic to. That do, juice 357 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 3: cinemas and coffee. Anemas, BOY i feel spry and twenty five. 358 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 3: Again get all that poopy out of. Me they took 359 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 3: the cancer out of. 360 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 2: Me that's just, crazy, dude that's just. Insane it's, like you. 361 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 3: Know especially when you just lost one of your most 362 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 3: beloved parts of your family to that specific type of. 363 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 2: Care and, boy yeah. Boy she claims she got, surgery 364 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 2: BUT i see no. Scar not only, that but she 365 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 2: was diagnosed with the same thing my grandmother, was and 366 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 2: over a year, Later franccene doesn't even look sick and 367 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 2: even took a month long trip To Upstate New york 368 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 2: And canada with my. Father In august of twenty twenty, 369 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 2: three she sent us a photo of her my father 370 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 2: and looks and is acting completely. HEALTHY i asked my 371 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 2: siblings honestly if they think she has, it And leo 372 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 2: agreed that it's fishy And vanessa wouldn't answer either. Way 373 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 2: asking why would our dad lie to, US i pointed 374 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 2: out that dad seems like he never goes to the 375 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 2: doctor appointments With francine and just tells us what she, 376 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 2: says and when asked further, questions he says he doesn't, 377 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 2: know or sighs and shakes his. Head in recent, Events 378 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 2: hannah has apologized to me for her her mother's, behavior 379 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 2: saying that she has no idea what her mother's issues. 380 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 2: Are francine is currently trying to get my father And 381 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 2: hannah to move To Upstate New, york where she stayed 382 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 2: with families since their, trip because the air is healthier 383 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 2: for her healing. Process my father And hannah blatantly said 384 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 2: they will not. Go AM i the ale and there 385 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 2: is an author's note. HERE i just want to SAY 386 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,359 Speaker 2: i have no ill will towards this woman because she 387 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 2: married my. Dad i'm up in arms about it BECAUSE 388 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 2: i feel like she's manipulating my. Dad all the comments 389 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 2: about me thinking she's an evil stepmother and THAT i 390 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 2: have an issue with her because she's married my, Dad 391 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,199 Speaker 2: jess isn't. True my parents getting a divorce was one 392 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 2: of the best things they ever did for. Me thinking 393 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 2: of them being together with their differences and having heard 394 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 2: them argue towards the end of their RELATIONSHIP i would 395 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 2: not have benefited as a child if they had stayed. 396 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 2: TOGETHER i always liked my mom's, boyfriends except one guy 397 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 2: that hurt her feelings pretty. Bad AND i loved my 398 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 2: dad's second. WIFE i never even minded that my parents 399 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 2: and saw other people that being, said my only problem 400 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,719 Speaker 2: With francine IS i believe she is manipulating all of, 401 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 2: us that maybe she is sick in her. HEAD i 402 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 2: made this post more to make sure THAT i wasn't 403 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 2: fully insane and that her behavior is. SUSPICIOUS i don't like, 404 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 2: her not because she's married to my, dad but because 405 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 2: her personality makes it hard to even be. Friendly and 406 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 2: none of this is about the. Insurance she holds it 407 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 2: over our heads and threatened to take, myself my, siblings 408 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 2: and my dad off of. It and there's additional information 409 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,439 Speaker 2: FROM ope an example Of francine's behaviors here in the. 410 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 2: Comments but uh, YEAH i don't. Know i'm calling it. 411 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,439 Speaker 2: Out i'm calling it. 412 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 3: Out i'd be, like, Hey, dad have you seen the doctor's? 413 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 3: Results like did she actually go to a, doctor not 414 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 3: like a specialist like you know for the, animals which is? 415 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: Crazy but she doesn't go to a specialist for. THAT 416 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 2: i bet she does it in her freaking. Bathroom she 417 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,160 Speaker 2: just shoving coffee grounds up her butt and being, Like i'm. 418 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 2: Cured that's. 419 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 3: Absurd, NO i, WOULD i would, say because especially it's 420 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 3: been a year or, so maybe a little bit, longer 421 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 3: maybe a little bit, less and she hasn't shown any. 422 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 3: SIGNS i would have just called your dad and be, like, what, 423 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 3: like how is she? Doing you, know what are her? 424 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 3: Signs and like what has the doctor's been. Saying it's 425 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 3: like and if and if the dad, says, Oh i've 426 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 3: been to a doctor with, her and you know we've 427 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 3: seen the test, results that's one. Thing but if your dad, says, oh, 428 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 3: yeah she's been going to the doctors and she told 429 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,920 Speaker 3: me this from the, doctor. 430 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 2: Well of course it's you, KNOW i doubt she's even 431 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 2: going to a. Doctor that's What i'm, saying you, know 432 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,679 Speaker 2: to be, Clear And i'm sorry if this is you, 433 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 2: know anyone who with a cancer, diagnosis you, know stay 434 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 2: strong and this you, know this could be triggering to 435 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,399 Speaker 2: hear all these talk about. Cancer but it's like stage 436 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 2: four is when it's gone far throughout the body where 437 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 2: it's like you could have you, know lung, cancer but 438 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 2: now you've got cancer in your like, legs you, know, 439 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 2: wherever like it's it's moved to other. Parts so the 440 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 2: fact that this woman is being, like, OH i need 441 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 2: to move To Upstate New york for the, Air it's, 442 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,439 Speaker 2: like that's not gonna that's not gonna help. You if 443 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 2: you have stage, four it's not gonna do. Anything it's really, 444 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 2: realistically it's not gonna do anything if you have stage, 445 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 2: One like you have to treat this. Stuff and it's 446 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,200 Speaker 2: ridiculous to me that your, dad you, KNOW i would 447 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 2: just go to my dad be, like, Look I'm i'm 448 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 2: just worried about this woman's ability to just like pull 449 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 2: the wool over your. Eyes she's hurting. YOU i don't 450 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 2: care that you're married to. HER i care that you're 451 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 2: married to someone who is hurting you. 452 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 3: Actively BUT i feel Like dad's gonna not. Care dad's, like, 453 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 3: oh this is my. 454 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 2: Wife you should. 455 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,120 Speaker 3: Care this is my. Wife, yeah she's. 456 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 2: Lying to you about, honey or respect my. 457 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,639 Speaker 3: Wife respect my. 458 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 2: Wife i'd be coming from a place of mental, illness 459 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,920 Speaker 2: BUT i can't imagine myself staying with somebody who could 460 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 2: who could do this to. ME i just. 461 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 3: Can't what are you, know you're just a. 462 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 2: Kid op, SAYS i want to add this story as 463 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 2: well about fran scene or First thanksgiving. Together francceine left 464 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 2: in a rage because she made us go around the 465 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 2: table and say what we were thankful. For my brother 466 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 2: said THAT i live in a safe, place and my 467 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 2: sister said for my. FAMILY i said for my. Friends 468 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 2: francine took that as a jab at her and, left, saying, 469 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 2: WELL i Guess i'm not welcome, here AND i Guess 470 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 2: i'm not your family because you don't want to love with, 471 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 2: me you don't want to, live laugh love with. Me 472 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 2: we were all genuinely, confused and when she came, Back 473 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 2: vanessa told her outright she was crazy for thinking it 474 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 2: was a jab at her and it had nothing to 475 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 2: do with. Her, franccene is that chice? CRAZY i swear to. 476 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 2: God there's more relevant comments. Here comment one, SAYS i 477 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 2: don't think you're the ahole for Answering franccene like you, 478 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 2: did BUT i would lay off of accusing her to 479 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 2: other people of lying about her Lung. Ope he, says that's, 480 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 2: fair but please know it wasn't just my thought that 481 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 2: came from. Nowhere there are lots that don't line, up 482 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 2: AND i do hear what you're, saying Fran scene undergoing any. Treatments, 483 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 2: ope he Says franccene isn't undergoing any kind of treatment 484 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,120 Speaker 2: and said she was allergic to. Chemo SO i assumed 485 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 2: she would have left us by. Now apparently a holistic 486 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 2: doctor told her she could cure it with animas in 487 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 2: a juice. CLEANSE i don't. KNOW i just think a 488 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 2: lot of stuff she's telling us doesn't line. Up AND 489 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 2: i get the sense that my dad doesn't even fully know. 490 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 2: Either i'll keep you and your comments in mind WHILE 491 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,439 Speaker 2: i process a lot of. This AND i DO i 492 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 2: have seen alternative medicine work or like alternative. Practice like 493 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:39,479 Speaker 2: it was a, friend one of my friend's, Aunts and 494 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 2: it wasn't just like Oh i'm gonna drink. Juice it 495 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 2: was like complete dietary, change very, strict like regiment of 496 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,800 Speaker 2: like certain. Five it was, like you, know like a 497 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 2: Whole it was a whole. 498 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,960 Speaker 3: Shebang it was a complete overall of like your life. 499 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,120 Speaker 2: Right and it did and it and it she went 500 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 2: into remission and she was, free AND i believe you, 501 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 2: know she was intermission for quite a, while and it 502 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 2: ended up coming back but it's like you can get 503 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: that same exact result with traditional cancer. Treatment you can 504 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 2: even get results where you know, people oh that doesn't. 505 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 2: Work it's like there's also times where like you, know 506 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,920 Speaker 2: you're not receptive For. Chimo it's like it truly is 507 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 2: not like a one size fits all. Solution but, regardless 508 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 2: it's like, THIS i don't think this person IS i 509 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 2: don't think she's telling. 510 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 3: Truth Until, YEAH i was gonna say until op can 511 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 3: on both, ends until it can be proven one hundred 512 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 3: and ten percent that she either a has it or 513 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 3: doesn't have. 514 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,359 Speaker 2: It we can't just be like. 515 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 3: Assuming we can't just be LIKE i, mean it makes 516 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 3: a lot of sense if you line it up with 517 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,439 Speaker 3: the ope's, facts but you can't just be like she 518 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 3: doesn't have it or she does have. It it's just 519 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 3: like ONCE i need, PROOF i need. DATA i need 520 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,239 Speaker 3: all all that, proof which, sucks but especially with, her 521 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 3: with all the allergies and, EVERYTHING i wouldn't take. THAT 522 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 3: i would take it with a grain of. 523 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,920 Speaker 2: Salt yeah there's a download commentaryor you're twenty six years. 524 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 2: Old in on top of Letting daddy And francine pay 525 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: for your cell phone and health, insurance this whole. Time 526 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 2: you're only getting your own policy now because you've hit 527 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 2: the age. Limit you're something? Else? What what an? Idiot 528 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 2: it's the dumbest Thing i've ever. Heard what, Hope he. 529 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 2: Says i'm on my own phone plan WHEN i. Wasn't 530 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 2: my dad actually talked me into staying on it BECAUSE 531 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 2: i was in school and they got a discount Because 532 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 2: i'm a. Student and the reason Why i'm on the 533 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 2: insurance is BECAUSE A i can because My daddy likes 534 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,640 Speaker 2: Knowing i'm, covered and b because it'll cost me three 535 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 2: fourths of my monthly income to get my. Own i'm 536 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 2: getting my own now because, yes the clock is, struck 537 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,119 Speaker 2: BUT i. Can't but CAN i afford it and finish? 538 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 2: SCHOOL i don't. KNOW i might be out of. Luck 539 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 2: francine holding my insurance is the only amount of support 540 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 2: she's shown. ME i don't know if you know, this 541 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,199 Speaker 2: but it takes more than that to have a relationship with. 542 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 2: Someone another commenter, says follow the, money in my, opinion 543 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,199 Speaker 2: not the a hole to call her. Out if you 544 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 2: see shady things happening with finances or really anything that 545 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,639 Speaker 2: can cause material impact to your, father talk to dad 546 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 2: about the will and he, trusts and he changes to a, state. 547 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 2: Etc OTHERWISE i wouldn't bother giving her that. Energy, hope he, 548 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 2: SAYS i never thought about all. That i'm going to 549 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 2: ask my sister to ask him about, it since they're. 550 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:19,119 Speaker 2: Closer third commenter, says so you're in nursing, school BUT 551 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,879 Speaker 2: i guess that chapter wasn't in the, exams so you 552 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,400 Speaker 2: never bothered the combination of foods can give you an allergic, 553 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 2: reaction or even things you've had for years can suddenly 554 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,679 Speaker 2: do that due to a compromised immune, system or a 555 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,199 Speaker 2: system an, overdrive or a new component on or a 556 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 2: new component in the. Item another chapter you. Missed unless 557 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 2: you have, chemo you don't necessarily look bad even with 558 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,720 Speaker 2: LUNG i think your story is bs she had a 559 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,919 Speaker 2: kid at forty six or forty. Seven let's pretend that is. 560 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 2: TRUE i guess that you also missed the chapter where 561 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 2: women after pregnancy can be led with a lot of health, 562 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 2: issues especially a much older. Woman she gets it from 563 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,480 Speaker 2: giving a joint gift with with your. Father that's what 564 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 2: married couples. Do. Uh from your, Description i'd say she's 565 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 2: an old lady with a compromised immune system and possibly, 566 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 2: hypochondriac but definitely. Autistic she has you in her health, 567 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,159 Speaker 2: insurance saving you, Thousands yet you call your mom and 568 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 2: grandma your only support. System what do you expect a 569 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,400 Speaker 2: stranger paraphrasing from you to. Do she's not your, friend 570 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 2: she's not your, family but, hey let's save tens of 571 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 2: thousands on her. Back add to the why you know, 572 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 2: what this is the only country in the, WORLD i 573 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 2: think where people are so weird about health insurance where 574 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 2: it's like a personal failing if you're not willing to 575 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 2: buy into a busted system that makes no. 576 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 3: Sense we don't know If opie's from The, states BUT 577 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 3: i Get New. 578 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 2: York we got they, are and it's, like because this 579 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 2: is like the only place where that's a. 580 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 4: Thing it's really. 581 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 2: Bad it's, crazy and it's crazy that people are brainwashing 582 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 2: into thinking you're a for not wanting to immediately just 583 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:03,120 Speaker 2: like draw a fourth or a third or half of 584 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 2: your paycheck every. Month it failed to her freaking. Dude, 585 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 2: yeah it's. Insane add to the fact, that, yeah she 586 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 2: is not interested in. You, GOSH i wonder why you 587 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 2: sound like a dream. Stepdaughter and, yeah she's not going 588 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 2: to put herself into a position of having to deal 589 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 2: with you longer than she has. TO i feel like 590 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 2: this is coming from a triggered step. Mother you're all effing, 591 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,720 Speaker 2: adults and she gets guff from you from coming to 592 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 2: your rugby match but not staying for the whole duration of. 593 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 2: It you're the. Ahole of course she can be. Exaggerating 594 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 2: of course she could be making the whole thing about. 595 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,400 Speaker 2: Herself but even if she's pretending about the whole cancer, 596 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,480 Speaker 2: thing everyone sucks. Here you're not innocent or. Nice you're 597 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 2: not innocent or. Nice even if she's passing, away she's 598 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 2: not going to accept you suddenly driving her to her doctor's. 599 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 2: Appointment she is only good enough for you when you need, 600 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,560 Speaker 2: something and she needs nothing from. You opie, Says i'm 601 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 2: not that far my schooling. Yet WHEN i SAID i 602 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 2: had a graduation, date it was my projected. Plan, yes 603 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 2: she had a kid that. Late nothing Like reddit to 604 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 2: diagnose my dad's wife with. Autism what a weird thing to. 605 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 2: Say here's the, Thing she's never acted like my. Family 606 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 2: there are things in addition to, theater matches and gifts 607 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 2: that prove. That for, example later WHEN i tell her 608 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 2: she never talks to. Me since this happened In, FEBRUARY 609 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 2: i haven't spoken to. Her i'm, sorry BUT i don't 610 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 2: owe her. Anything when my dad had us be put 611 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 2: on the, insurance a thing she threatens him with whenever 612 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 2: she gets, upset she threatens to take all of, us including, 613 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 2: him off of the. Plan as part of his child's, 614 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 2: support he got to pay my mom less by getting 615 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 2: us health. Insurance, Again i'm not bothered she wasn't interested in, me, 616 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 2: because LIKE i, SAID i wasn't interested in her as. 617 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,040 Speaker 2: WELL a lot of the EXAMPLES i gave were just that. 618 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 2: EXAMPLES i can give examples of myself not being interested 619 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 2: in her. Either as for the support system, COMMENT i 620 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 2: never said my dad isn't supportive or that Fran scene 621 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 2: isn't supportive in other, ways just uninterested in me as a, 622 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 2: person to the point where the only thing we have 623 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 2: in common or know about each other is on an insurance. 624 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 2: Card my grandmother was my a one since day one 625 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 2: and acted as a second mother to. Me that's WHAT 626 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 2: i meant WHEN i Said maine support System maine doesn't 627 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 2: mean Only francine again only cares If i'm having a 628 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 2: baby and. Win it's literally the only thing she asks 629 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 2: me anything. Else all of these other examples are things 630 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 2: she never asks me. ABOUT i return the, energy SO 631 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,880 Speaker 2: i don't ask her. Either the fact that she freaked 632 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 2: out on me as if we had this lifelong connection 633 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 2: made me freak the f out on her the WAY i. 634 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 2: DID i don't know why people keep calling her my 635 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 2: step mom WHEN i blatantly made the distinction she is 636 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 2: my dad's. Wife there are a lot of stepparents in 637 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,080 Speaker 2: these comments that are mad at me about this. Post, lmaoh, 638 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 2: yeah that's exactly a bunch of triggered step, parents and 639 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 2: it's you know. Whatever, honestly this is why half the 640 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 2: time When i'm on the internet COMMON i want to 641 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,480 Speaker 2: reply to, You i'm just, like there's no reason to. 642 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 3: Even, reply no need out, There, yeah don't need To 643 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 3: you don't deserve my. 644 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 2: Energy unless it's, funny unless it's just a, goof there's 645 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 2: no need to, reply it's not. 646 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 3: Serious the only TIME i like replying to comments is 647 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 3: like it's like IF i have the whole like fact 648 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 3: of like shutting them, up, like oh this, guy this 649 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 3: guy is talking about The. 650 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 2: Philippines he's Not. 651 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 3: Filipino you're, like let's get into this. 652 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,920 Speaker 2: Update oh, boy oh, boy it's been a long, time 653 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 2: AND i went back and read some comments on my original. 654 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 2: Post i'll give you all this short version of what's 655 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 2: happened in the last. Year to keep it. Short she. 656 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 2: Lied my dad and her had an ugly divorce that 657 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 2: ended with my father being, homeless and scene winded up 658 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 2: revealing that she owed over sixty thousand dollars to her 659 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 2: ex in alimony and he was taking the house where, 660 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,000 Speaker 2: her my father and sister were. Living the week Of 661 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 2: thanksgiving last, year she booted them both out and they 662 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 2: were both homeless up Until august of this. Year before anyone, asks, 663 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 2: NO i didn't have the means to help. Them the 664 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 2: entire thing was. Crazy she broke off the key in 665 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 2: the lock to stop them from getting their, things stole 666 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 2: a bunch of money from my, dad and bought a 667 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 2: house In New, york destroying my dad's credit and so 668 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 2: many other petty and disgusting. Things yet she is still, 669 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 2: alive and, yes she was questioned about her, illness but she's. 670 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 2: Fine my dad realizing everything was a lie was, very 671 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 2: very upsetting to. Watch in my, opinion she destroyed his. 672 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 3: Life there is a special place for people who won 673 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 3: lie about The Big sea and two who do this 674 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 3: to some like can do this to anybody and just 675 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 3: live their life that is. Insane there's a special place for. 676 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 2: THEM i would hope it's. Prison can we can we, 677 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 2: like can we just institute a new island like when 678 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,200 Speaker 2: people used to get shipped when they had. Leprosy just 679 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 2: an island. 680 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 3: Of people like this, WOMAN i Mean australia. 681 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:02,320 Speaker 2: Just, no just a stray, Up like we can build an, 682 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 2: island like How china's been building all those islands so 683 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 2: that they can like take claim over like certain. Territory 684 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 2: but we can just build an island and have all 685 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 2: of the just awful people live on that island. Together 686 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 2: i'm not. 687 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 3: Wrong about, that, Right like they sent a lot of like. 688 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 3: Lepers but ALSO i. 689 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,720 Speaker 2: Know THAT i know that The British empires sent people 690 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 2: were criminals To. Australia they tell. 691 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,799 Speaker 3: A lot of people that they're like not fit For. 692 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 2: Yeah they were just, like we're sending you To australia 693 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,359 Speaker 2: to serve out your, sense survive the. Wildlife and THEN 694 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 2: i THINK i think, yeah essentially they were just, like, yeah, 695 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,440 Speaker 2: whatever just stay there. Forever we don't care. 696 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 3: Those people were, like we're we're. Hardcore we tamed the. 697 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 2: Animals so to everyone who SAID i was the ale, 698 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:47,840 Speaker 2: suck we. WI i have officially started my clinicals and 699 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,359 Speaker 2: hope to wind up in peds on collegy on after. 700 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,319 Speaker 2: GRADUATION i think about my grandmother all the time and 701 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,759 Speaker 2: wish she was alive to talk about to talk to 702 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 2: her about. Everything comment one, says you can't just be 703 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,439 Speaker 2: booted out of where you legally. LIVE opi, replies Fran 704 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 2: scene's name and her exes were the ones on the 705 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,760 Speaker 2: papers for the. House ooh, ooh so she actually didn't 706 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,120 Speaker 2: break any. Laws. Dang comment two, says as someone who 707 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 2: has been in the kitter world from the TIME i was, 708 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 2: Sixteen i'm twenty seven at the end of the, month 709 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 2: going into pediatric oncology is. Amazing my nurses were some 710 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 2: of the only people who kept me sane during my long, 711 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,840 Speaker 2: stays AND i could never thank them. ENOUGH i actually 712 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,399 Speaker 2: named my service dog after my favorite nurse who would 713 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,920 Speaker 2: come in early to snag my chart from whoever was 714 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,760 Speaker 2: on my night. Shift that, said in regards to everything, 715 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,080 Speaker 2: Else i'm so. Sorry is there anything your father can 716 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,160 Speaker 2: do legally against fran scene like prove she prevented him 717 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 2: from obtaining his, property and then the. Theft opie, SAYS 718 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:49,000 Speaker 2: i am genuinely very excited about my. Career comment three, 719 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 2: says your father chose this woman over his own. Kids 720 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 2: it's pretty clear what kind of man he. Is he's 721 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 2: getting exactly what he. DESERVES i have no sympathy for. 722 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 2: Him oh with all these just like awful comment. 723 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 3: People are just very black and white to where it's 724 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,040 Speaker 3: just like one or the. Other what what are we 725 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 3: calling out dad? 726 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,319 Speaker 2: FOR i, mean LIKE i, said if if he had 727 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 2: found out she was lying and didn't divorce, her THEN 728 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:10,799 Speaker 2: i would have a. 729 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,719 Speaker 3: Problem he probably got it. All at the same, time. 730 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,560 Speaker 2: Is opie's father taking his ex to? Court opie, says 731 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,240 Speaker 2: for WHAT i, heard he is taking her to court 732 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 2: and taking her. Crap is why she fled the state 733 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,759 Speaker 2: and got crap under my dad's. Name and that is 734 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 2: the end of that. 735 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,279 Speaker 1: Story sam here ogi. Host we're going to get back 736 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,440 Speaker 1: to these. Stories but here's three minutes fads from our. 737 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 4: Sponsors, first my sister in law SAID i stole her 738 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 4: mom moment and turned the whole family against. 739 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,239 Speaker 5: Me, well you're gonna be a mom for a long. 740 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,160 Speaker 5: Time we'll have. 741 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,879 Speaker 4: Time this spans over a period of almost a. Year last, 742 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,480 Speaker 4: year my sister in law thirty six told me twenty eight, 743 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,480 Speaker 4: female that her daughter's bike was too small and told 744 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 4: me THAT i needed to buy her a new bike that. 745 00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:56,080 Speaker 4: FITTER i don't mind helping out. Family we can financially 746 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,759 Speaker 4: afford to help and are happy. To by the, way 747 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 4: this comes from comprehensis of mud eight one one and 748 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:02,640 Speaker 4: if you want us to meet your own, stories go 749 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 4: to the r slash okay storytime. Subreddit I'm, Carly I'm, 750 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,319 Speaker 4: angie and we're here to give good. Advice, Goofully but 751 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 4: we don't have all the. Answers we only know what 752 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:12,560 Speaker 4: we would, Do so let us know what you would 753 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:16,439 Speaker 4: do in the, comments And opie says after we got 754 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 4: her a, bike my sister in law asked if the 755 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,879 Speaker 4: kids could come over for a few hours and ride 756 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,279 Speaker 4: bikes with. Mine we. Agreed after my niece got her new, 757 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 4: BIKE i took a picture and sent it to her, 758 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 4: parents which was responded to with a vicious text from 759 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,800 Speaker 4: my sister in law accusing me of trying to steal 760 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 4: parenting milestones from her and How i'm awful and shouldn't 761 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:36,680 Speaker 4: be a part of the. 762 00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 5: Family what after you just demanded me THAT i buy 763 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 5: your kid a? Bike? 764 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,839 Speaker 4: What she accused me of teaching her how to ride 765 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 4: a bike without training wheels and said that ALL i 766 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 4: do is hurt those around me and cause mental and emotional. 767 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:52,800 Speaker 4: TRAUMA i tried explaining to her that the neighborhood kids 768 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 4: were the ones who taught. HER i only bought the, 769 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 4: bike which again she demanded THAT i. Do my sister 770 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,839 Speaker 4: in law told me not to text call her because 771 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 4: she was too livid and didn't want to say something she'd, 772 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 4: regret and that they would tell us when to send 773 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:06,080 Speaker 4: the kids. 774 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,160 Speaker 2: BACK i was. BEWILDERED i had. 775 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,719 Speaker 4: Her kids at my house AND i didn't know what to. 776 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,279 Speaker 4: DO i talked with a close friend and, neighbor and 777 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 4: they confided in me that they were getting scared for the. 778 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,920 Speaker 4: Kids they mentioned some of the things the kids had 779 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,000 Speaker 4: said about their home life and that they had just 780 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,960 Speaker 4: gotten off the phone WITH cps because they felt the 781 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,120 Speaker 4: kids needed a welfare. 782 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,440 Speaker 5: Check oh my, god that's a little. Intense what did we? 783 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,680 Speaker 4: Miss, HONESTLY i agreed with, them but BECAUSE i had 784 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,759 Speaker 4: the kids at my house so, FREQUENTLY i didn't THINK 785 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,040 Speaker 4: i needed to. Call four hours, later we finally got 786 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:37,600 Speaker 4: a text that they were ready for us to bring 787 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:41,239 Speaker 4: the kids. Back my husband walked them. HOME i sent her, 788 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,840 Speaker 4: response stating THAT i don't believe in yelling at someone 789 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,799 Speaker 4: and not allowing. COMMUNICATION i explained what really happened and 790 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 4: THAT i simply took a picture from my. DRIVEWAY i 791 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,320 Speaker 4: also explained that their child had ridden a bike. Before 792 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 4: since they had ridden my daughter's bike while sister and 793 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,799 Speaker 4: brother in law were there and they saw, it they 794 00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 4: must have forgotten that she already knew. HOW i said 795 00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 4: sorry and THAT i would love to, communicate And i'm 796 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,080 Speaker 4: not trying to pay myself as a perfect. PERSON i 797 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,239 Speaker 4: was definitely mad in. ANGER i did tell her that 798 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,400 Speaker 4: it was unfair to put the burden of raising her 799 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,640 Speaker 4: kids on, me that while we understand they're going through a, 800 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,120 Speaker 4: lot their kids needed their own. PARENTS i was tired 801 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,120 Speaker 4: of getting yelled at by her for the things my 802 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,799 Speaker 4: niece was missing at, school AND i was tired of 803 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 4: having to foot the bill to take care of. THEM 804 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,640 Speaker 4: i have my own. KIDS i said THAT i would 805 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,920 Speaker 4: happily back, off and Because i'm backing, off there's important 806 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,640 Speaker 4: information they needed to. KNOW i told her about the 807 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 4: NEIGHBOR'S cps. Call in, HINDSIGHT i KNOW i could have 808 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,960 Speaker 4: handled that. BETTER i shouldn't have reacted in anger and 809 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 4: could have been more. Compassionate my husband's parents joined in 810 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 4: on the. Fight they all convinced themselves THAT i was 811 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,840 Speaker 4: the one who CALLED. CPS i had a very harmful 812 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,879 Speaker 4: childhood and have never opened up to them about. It one, 813 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,440 Speaker 4: DAY i created a group text with all of my 814 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,680 Speaker 4: husband's family and. APOLOGIZED i told THEM i was sorry 815 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,760 Speaker 4: THAT i reacted in. Anger in my, RESPONSE i tried 816 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,520 Speaker 4: to clear up the situation as much as possible and 817 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 4: explained why communication is so important to. Me my sister 818 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 4: in law then told, ME i know you had a rough. 819 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,279 Speaker 4: Childhood that's why we were all trying to show you 820 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,880 Speaker 4: how a loving family actually, works because someone has to teach. 821 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 5: You i'm, sorry this is a loving. Family, yeah this 822 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,120 Speaker 5: is my role, mom and it's like you're like yelling 823 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 5: at me for helping. 824 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:28,279 Speaker 4: You my husband was. Livid he told everyone he was 825 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,480 Speaker 4: done watching them treat me this way and that we had. 826 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:34,000 Speaker 4: Tried we were again met with the silent. Treatment months, 827 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:37,799 Speaker 4: LATER i tried apologizing, again this time wrote handwritten apologies 828 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,800 Speaker 4: and Olive french and expressed my desire to move. FORWARD 829 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,840 Speaker 4: i invited them all over for. Dinner this broke the 830 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,840 Speaker 4: silence and they actually, declined saying they were too busy 831 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,520 Speaker 4: and the kids can play At. Thanksgiving thanksgiving rolled around 832 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,920 Speaker 4: AND i thought it went. Overwhelm no one talked to, 833 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,800 Speaker 4: me but they all talked to my husband and. Kids 834 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 4: they ended up canceling a Family christmas party because my 835 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,840 Speaker 4: husband AND i are the only ones doing well financially 836 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,440 Speaker 4: and it would be too. Hard many things have happened 837 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,279 Speaker 4: over the past few months to get to, now BUT 838 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,799 Speaker 4: i had a feeling to Plan easter. DINNER i sent 839 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,359 Speaker 4: out invitations over a week ago for the twenty third 840 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 4: of this. Month on the, INVITATION i put PLEASE rsvp 841 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,080 Speaker 4: SO i can plan for each child instead of doing 842 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 4: An easter egg hunt or doing a scavenger. Hunt AND 843 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,040 Speaker 4: i was planning on having enough clues so each kid 844 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,520 Speaker 4: could read two of them so everyone feels included at 845 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,880 Speaker 4: the end of the scavenger. Hunt i'm crocheting. BUNNIES i 846 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,399 Speaker 4: asked for AN rsvap SO i could have adequate time 847 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:35,160 Speaker 4: to put together over eighteen clues And crochet Nine. BUDDIES 848 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,560 Speaker 4: i asked my sister in law if she would help 849 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,680 Speaker 4: me plan it BEFORE i sent out, invitations and she 850 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,440 Speaker 4: completely ignored my. TEXT i took that as a no 851 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 4: and sent out my invites to everyone in my husband's. 852 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 4: Family everyone RSVP'd, yes except that one sister in. LAW 853 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 4: i also sent invites to my side of the, family 854 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 4: and they ALL rsvp. Yes my in laws don't know 855 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,279 Speaker 4: my side is. Invited DO i need to tell? THEM 856 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,319 Speaker 4: i reached out to my sister in law individually a 857 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 4: week AFTER i sent the, invite asking if she was 858 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 4: going to make it to the. EVENT i also asked 859 00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,680 Speaker 4: a separate. Question she only answered the other one and 860 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,360 Speaker 4: completely ignored my question about the twenty. Third knowing her past, 861 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 4: history she's the type of person not TO rcp and 862 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,880 Speaker 4: just show up with her four, kids expecting everything to 863 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,680 Speaker 4: be prepared for. HER i told my, Husband i'm not 864 00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:25,359 Speaker 4: gonna entertain that behavior this. Time if they show, up 865 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,560 Speaker 4: we'll tell them, sorry we weren't expecting your. Kids they can, 866 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,040 Speaker 4: participate BUT i don't have anything prepared for them other 867 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,759 Speaker 4: than a. Bunny he Thinks i'd be an a hole 868 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,279 Speaker 4: IF i didn't prepare everything because the kids will miss. 869 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:39,799 Speaker 4: Out i'm, exhausted but ready to hear my. Judgment WOULD 870 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,200 Speaker 4: i be the a hole and we have an? 871 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:46,680 Speaker 5: Update this is honestly like one of the most understandable 872 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,680 Speaker 5: questions in like, yeah in these, stories LIKE i feel 873 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:51,920 Speaker 5: like a lot of them are, Like, okay you know 874 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:52,959 Speaker 5: what your answer is this. 875 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,799 Speaker 4: One this one could go kind either way BECAUSE i 876 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 4: do agree with husband that like it is going to 877 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,960 Speaker 4: a affect these, Kids LIKE i don't know if the 878 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,640 Speaker 4: way to be Like i'll show her is in the 879 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,719 Speaker 4: one thing that's like going to affect the. 880 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,560 Speaker 5: Kids, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly it's like this it makes 881 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,880 Speaker 5: sense that she would want to use this opportunity. 882 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,640 Speaker 4: Because it's the first time she's had. Too, yeah and 883 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 4: then like maybe we wait for the next, one right. 884 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,799 Speaker 5: Something and then also, too it's like if like if 885 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,000 Speaker 5: she does just go along with, this then maybe that's 886 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,200 Speaker 5: a sign that like she can. 887 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,359 Speaker 4: Right it's just a lot of but maybe she's still 888 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,279 Speaker 4: making the crocheted bunnies though they just didn't have the 889 00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:35,680 Speaker 4: scavenger hunt. 890 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:39,040 Speaker 5: Clue, yeah which is kind OF i would think was 891 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 5: be the. OPPOSITE i would think that the crochet is 892 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:41,839 Speaker 5: a lot more work Than. 893 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,480 Speaker 4: YEAH i would think so. Too i'm, like can you 894 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,840 Speaker 4: make this scavenger hunt both ways so that there's just 895 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:47,640 Speaker 4: like extra? 896 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:54,440 Speaker 5: Clues, yeah go along with another. Kid so, YEAH i don't, know. 897 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,759 Speaker 4: BUT i don't think it's that big of a deal 898 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,479 Speaker 4: if you do decide to do, It, LIKE i can't 899 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,680 Speaker 4: imagine these kids are really going to be like m m, 900 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:06,080 Speaker 4: oh my, god my aunt suckscuse she didn't think to 901 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,600 Speaker 4: include me in SOMETHING i wasn't coming to right THE 902 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,000 Speaker 4: i don't think they're gonna hold it over you when 903 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,480 Speaker 4: you sound like you hang out with them a lot 904 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 4: and you're really nice to. Them, yeah. 905 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 5: EXACTLY i also, think, like you, know if we're thinking about, 906 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,799 Speaker 5: how if we're considering like how our, actions what kind 907 00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,440 Speaker 5: of messages or actions will, say maybe we should just 908 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:24,759 Speaker 5: talk to. 909 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,400 Speaker 4: Her maybe maybe we just be, like, hey kid's gonna 910 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:28,839 Speaker 4: get left. 911 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,000 Speaker 5: Out, yeah like, yeah just your kid's gonna get left 912 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,880 Speaker 5: out if you DON'T. Rsvp also, LIKE i don't like 913 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,120 Speaker 5: that you don't do, That so, yeah you, know give 914 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:39,320 Speaker 5: it a. 915 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,960 Speaker 4: Go my sister in law just texted me sorry for 916 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 4: the LATE, rsvp BUT i finally heard back on a 917 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 4: scheduling THING i was waiting. On, yes we can come 918 00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,879 Speaker 4: to The easter thing on the twenty. Third Also, aunt 919 00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,160 Speaker 4: my husband's aunt who they live with and who has 920 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,719 Speaker 4: so she's planning on, attending but she may wake up 921 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,320 Speaker 4: that day and not be. COMING i have heard everyone's 922 00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,880 Speaker 4: responses And i've been looking up. ATONING i promise to 923 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,080 Speaker 4: update you all on how the event, goes AND i 924 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,040 Speaker 4: also promise that this will be the last TIME i 925 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,200 Speaker 4: plan to get. Together the backbone is. GROWING i swear 926 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,239 Speaker 4: it's hard since we built our house close to my in, 927 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,879 Speaker 4: laws who are all, neighbors so we can help them 928 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:18,760 Speaker 4: in their old. Age LIKE i mentioned, above my husband's 929 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:22,719 Speaker 4: aunt has pancreatic and his parents are often. Sickly my 930 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 4: father in law has a degenerative joint. Disease so up 931 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,560 Speaker 4: until my sister in law moved in with my husband's, 932 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,040 Speaker 4: aunt we were helping to take care of them. Both 933 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,359 Speaker 4: then she moved in and we figured they would take 934 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,440 Speaker 4: over some of the. Care they, haven't but also won't let. 935 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 4: Us i'm coming to terms with the loss of the 936 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,120 Speaker 4: FAMILY i wanted my children to, have But i'm now 937 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,480 Speaker 4: more aware of the Example i'm showing them of what 938 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 4: is and isn't, okay and we have an. Update, okay 939 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,640 Speaker 4: fear of phone, Link i'm gonna dive right. In let's 940 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,440 Speaker 4: we talk about it at THE. 941 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,920 Speaker 5: Ct i'm totally fine with that update. 942 00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,719 Speaker 4: Too all, right here's an update now that the event has, 943 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:04,120 Speaker 4: passed since my sister in law finally are. Suped right 944 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,480 Speaker 4: before the, EVENT i went all out to make sure 945 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,680 Speaker 4: everyone was included and had a great. Time each kid 946 00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,840 Speaker 4: had three clues in the scavenger, hunt so thirty clues, 947 00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,960 Speaker 4: total and they demolish it in thirty. Minutes one of 948 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,040 Speaker 4: my nephews ended up being a complete menace to my. 949 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,759 Speaker 4: Daughter he was chasing her with a squirt bottle and 950 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,839 Speaker 4: kept spraying her. Glasses when my daughter told an, aunt 951 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,960 Speaker 4: she was told to suck it up because the older 952 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,360 Speaker 4: boy cousin was having fun and he doesn't get to 953 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,360 Speaker 4: come over very, often so let him have. FUN i 954 00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,400 Speaker 4: had no idea that was said to her by her, 955 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 4: grandma mother in. LAW i was in another room running 956 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,759 Speaker 4: a concandy machine in the. Garage i've since talked to 957 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,600 Speaker 4: my daughter and explained that it was inappropriate behavior and 958 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:45,600 Speaker 4: that grandma was. Wrong on top of, THAT i didn't 959 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 4: get a single thank you or good. JOB i had 960 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,000 Speaker 4: my mother in law help with a few clues for 961 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 4: the scavenger, hunt and after it was all, done my 962 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,160 Speaker 4: sister in law had the audacity to say good. Job 963 00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,960 Speaker 4: grandma then completely ignored me and didn't acknowledge the hard 964 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,920 Speaker 4: Work i'd put. In after the scavenger, hunt my sister 965 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,959 Speaker 4: in law complained that her toddler's easter BUNNY i made 966 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,920 Speaker 4: didn't have safety eyes or nose and SAID i messed 967 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,640 Speaker 4: it up and cause a fight with her. CHILDREN i 968 00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,200 Speaker 4: tried explaining without, apologizing that it isn't recommended to put 969 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:17,200 Speaker 4: safety eyes and noses on stuffed animals for children under. 970 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,719 Speaker 4: Three my nephew was, one AND i didn't think it 971 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,680 Speaker 4: was smart to add, them especially since the KIND i 972 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,800 Speaker 4: have can come apart if pulled hard. Enough but Apparently 973 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,440 Speaker 4: i'm the villain for making a Different she didn't believe 974 00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,680 Speaker 4: me and complained about HOW i made her life more 975 00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,719 Speaker 4: difficult because now she has to embroider eyes onto. It 976 00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,280 Speaker 4: there was a couple things Where i'm, Like, okay, Maybe, 977 00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,920 Speaker 4: op you're just reacting about it a little. Bit BUT 978 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,000 Speaker 4: i think that at this point she's at her breaking, 979 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,560 Speaker 4: point AND i totally get. IT i get. 980 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:43,719 Speaker 3: It. 981 00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:47,720 Speaker 5: Yeah it's like once you've they've done enough like justifiably annoying, 982 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:48,840 Speaker 5: things now everything is. 983 00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,160 Speaker 4: Annoying, yeah and there's still being like mind YOU opi 984 00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:54,480 Speaker 4: like a lot of these things are still. Big we're 985 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,640 Speaker 4: not saying that like this is rude of. 986 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,719 Speaker 5: Them, yeah they're being just straight up. 987 00:47:58,800 --> 00:47:59,120 Speaker 4: Rude. 988 00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:01,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, job and then just not acknowledging you at. All 989 00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,279 Speaker 5: you know, That, yeah and then complaining about making a 990 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:10,160 Speaker 5: studd animal, Safer, like, dude she just crocheted a whole stuffed. 991 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,040 Speaker 4: In nine of. Them that's for all the. 992 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,600 Speaker 5: Children, Yeah like that's saying so much work and so 993 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:15,520 Speaker 5: much time. 994 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:18,200 Speaker 4: You can you can you go crochet nine of? Them? 995 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:21,400 Speaker 5: Then, yeah go go embroider two eyes. 996 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:22,719 Speaker 4: NOT i gonna take you very. 997 00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:22,919 Speaker 5: Long. 998 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:26,400 Speaker 4: Yeah just Like, THANKSGIVING i was ignored by all my in. 999 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,440 Speaker 4: Laws my mom came BECAUSE i invited, her and in 1000 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,240 Speaker 4: her quest to be the world's best, grandma she brought 1001 00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,360 Speaker 4: a cotton candy. Machine the kids were thrilled her AND 1002 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,440 Speaker 4: i had a good time figuring out how it worked 1003 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,799 Speaker 4: and got completely covered in cotton. Candy my in laws 1004 00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,359 Speaker 4: thought it was the worst idea, possible how could giving 1005 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,520 Speaker 4: the children sugar be a good? Idea they all left 1006 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:49,120 Speaker 4: After Cotton candy after spending just an hour and a half. 1007 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,080 Speaker 4: There my father in law complained that there were extra 1008 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,560 Speaker 4: guests over and then he couldn't have the family. Meeting 1009 00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,640 Speaker 4: he told everyone except my spouse and me about basically 1010 00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:01,799 Speaker 4: he couldn't ambush me and the entire family tell me 1011 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,320 Speaker 4: What i'd done wrong this past. Year everyone complained about 1012 00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,960 Speaker 4: every little detail of the, event and no one helped 1013 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,920 Speaker 4: me plan it WHEN i, Asked i'm officially. Done i'm, exhausted, 1014 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,520 Speaker 4: frustrated and, hurt and this is definitely the last Event 1015 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,319 Speaker 4: i'll ever plan for. Them that is the end of that. 1016 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:18,760 Speaker 5: Story. 1017 00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,640 Speaker 4: Wow, YEAH i would go pretty low contact with these 1018 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,200 Speaker 4: people and they'd definitely not be coming back to my 1019 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:26,480 Speaker 4: house for. 1020 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,560 Speaker 5: Sure you went my Con, Kenny, no didn't think. 1021 00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,280 Speaker 4: So they didn't. Think you're not getting, anymore. 1022 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:32,680 Speaker 5: Not getting any of. 1023 00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:38,080 Speaker 4: That they just sound like awful, people and you sound 1024 00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:40,960 Speaker 4: like you love a good. PARTY i, agree great, time 1025 00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:44,000 Speaker 4: you sound. Great and that's the end of this. Story 1026 00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 4: we're gonna go to the next. 1027 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,040 Speaker 2: One Hey's john og. Host we're gonna get back to the. 1028 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:49,880 Speaker 2: Stories but a quick free minute break of ads from our. 1029 00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:53,200 Speaker 5: Sponsors my mother in law is alienating me from my, 1030 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,600 Speaker 5: son and my husband is letting it. Happen tell your 1031 00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 5: husband to stop, it, said my mother in law was 1032 00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,839 Speaker 5: practic be a. Stranger WHEN i had my, BABY i 1033 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:06,560 Speaker 5: had postpartum pre eclempsia and hemorrhage with A c. Section, 1034 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:08,919 Speaker 5: wow me and my husband and hers did a three 1035 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,040 Speaker 5: shift schedule with the. BABY i felt weak and sick 1036 00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,400 Speaker 5: and was in a very bad. Place long story, short 1037 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,480 Speaker 5: she did work. HARD i don't Know i'm throwing her a, 1038 00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,560 Speaker 5: bone but still was repeatedly, neglectible to the point WHERE 1039 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,560 Speaker 5: i had to tell my husband that he needed to 1040 00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,839 Speaker 5: tell her to. Leap and by the, way this comes 1041 00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,600 Speaker 5: From Gea. Lavender and if you want to summit your own, 1042 00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,640 Speaker 5: stories go to the r Slash okay story time stub 1043 00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,200 Speaker 5: read it And I'm, Angie I'm, carly and we're here 1044 00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,360 Speaker 5: to give you good Advice, Googly but we don't have 1045 00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:36,040 Speaker 5: all the. Answers we just know what we would do 1046 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,759 Speaker 5: in the. Situation so let us know what you would 1047 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:40,680 Speaker 5: do in the. Comments So op says there was an 1048 00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,160 Speaker 5: incident WHERE i caught her feeding him in the bathtub 1049 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,840 Speaker 5: while having a panic. Attack what that was it for? 1050 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:50,600 Speaker 5: Me he gently booted her and we refused to leave 1051 00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,719 Speaker 5: her alone with. Him after, THAT i felt LIKE i 1052 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,799 Speaker 5: was in a. Nightmare after she, LEFT i swear my 1053 00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,120 Speaker 5: son AND i were basically attached to each, other snuggling 1054 00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,160 Speaker 5: NonStop for. Months, okay SO i wish we had a 1055 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,400 Speaker 5: little bit more detail on, that because this sounds like 1056 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:09,000 Speaker 5: a little. Bit this sounds like a very traumatic. Time 1057 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,400 Speaker 5: But i'm only getting that from your. REACTION i don't. 1058 00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:16,040 Speaker 5: KNOW i wouldn't expect that to BE i just. Don't 1059 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,239 Speaker 5: i'm not with you, there But i'm gonna trust. It 1060 00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:22,720 Speaker 5: i'm so full of regrets for that time. PERIOD i feel. 1061 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,040 Speaker 5: HAUNTED i felt trapped in my decision to have my 1062 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,919 Speaker 5: mother in law around like that. POSTPARTUM i kept telling 1063 00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,120 Speaker 5: myself to be, strong my baby needs to bond with 1064 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,000 Speaker 5: other people BECAUSE i may not. LIVE i THOUGHT i 1065 00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,839 Speaker 5: was going to pass away and had nightmares every night 1066 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:37,959 Speaker 5: for a. WHILE i HOPED i had. Lived to gain 1067 00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:41,560 Speaker 5: some family. Connections we didn't become, close just texted pictures. 1068 00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:43,759 Speaker 5: OCCASIONALLY a year, later mother in law and father in 1069 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,400 Speaker 5: law visited and we hung out and went to the 1070 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:47,759 Speaker 5: restaurants and such for a. 1071 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:48,520 Speaker 4: Week it was. 1072 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:52,000 Speaker 5: FINE i felt, Like, okay past was messed, up BUT 1073 00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:56,160 Speaker 5: i can have a normal relationship going. Forward, apparently my 1074 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,520 Speaker 5: husband set some basic time space to respect boundaries with 1075 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:03,480 Speaker 5: her and she had been violating. Them so before they left, 1076 00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,719 Speaker 5: town he invited both of his parents to. Therapy he 1077 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:10,400 Speaker 5: and his mom ended up arguing, immediately like five minutes, 1078 00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:14,000 Speaker 5: in according to, him because he called her communication, dysfunctional 1079 00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,200 Speaker 5: and she left the. Room that was In. July she 1080 00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,520 Speaker 5: hasn't contacted us, since even through an er, trip even 1081 00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:22,560 Speaker 5: when my husband texted her a video of my son 1082 00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,880 Speaker 5: taking his first. Steps he called her on her birthday 1083 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,680 Speaker 5: and his dad called him and said that she didn't 1084 00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:32,160 Speaker 5: want to. TALK i just don't get. It, recently he 1085 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,440 Speaker 5: mentioned something that she, said my mom said my favorite 1086 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,960 Speaker 5: color was red as a. KID i asked her where 1087 00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,000 Speaker 5: they had been. Talking he said they have a family 1088 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,520 Speaker 5: group chat and she started talking to him. There he 1089 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,640 Speaker 5: was very. Nonchalot we go to couple's therapy and he 1090 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,320 Speaker 5: seems to underreact to discussing. Her we had a session 1091 00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:52,759 Speaker 5: about her behavior and he said that she's done no 1092 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,320 Speaker 5: contact to certain family. Members he said she expects people 1093 00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,480 Speaker 5: to just pretend it never. Happened he said he isn't giving, 1094 00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,239 Speaker 5: in but it sure looks like that's what he's doing to. Me, 1095 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:06,080 Speaker 5: now we get a call yesterday that his grandfather mother's 1096 00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:09,080 Speaker 5: father is passing away and we may need to. VISIT 1097 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,000 Speaker 5: i don't really know what to. DO i don't want 1098 00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,719 Speaker 5: to reach out, first but according to, him you will 1099 00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:18,080 Speaker 5: have to eventually because she, won't and he gets very 1100 00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,400 Speaker 5: upset at the idea of us having a bad. Relationship 1101 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,759 Speaker 5: i'm at a. LOSS i feel like this bad relationship 1102 00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:27,280 Speaker 5: has been thrust upon. ME i have never ever done 1103 00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:30,359 Speaker 5: anything other than smile and nod to her everything from 1104 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:33,880 Speaker 5: dire situations to comments about my. WEIGHT i smiled and 1105 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:37,719 Speaker 5: basically gentle parented her away from. Conflict but INSIDE i 1106 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,960 Speaker 5: am so angry and. HURT i can't even imagine How 1107 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,440 Speaker 5: i'm supposed to deal with this person and navigate this. 1108 00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:47,799 Speaker 5: Situation my husband has no. Answers he's just LIKE i 1109 00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,120 Speaker 5: know it's not, normal But i'm used to. It i'll 1110 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,680 Speaker 5: just ignore what she's doing but keep talking to. Her 1111 00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:56,319 Speaker 5: our kid needs. Grandparents his dad doesn't talk to, me, 1112 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,239 Speaker 5: either but he never. HAS i know this is going 1113 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,200 Speaker 5: to result in a fight between my husband and, me 1114 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,520 Speaker 5: BECAUSE i really feel Like i've been treated badly And 1115 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,400 Speaker 5: i'm so hurt and. ANGRY i can't repress it. Forever 1116 00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,120 Speaker 5: BUT i don't know how to move. Forward he is 1117 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,799 Speaker 5: just so casual about her going no contact like THAT 1118 00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,319 Speaker 5: i am going to be coming in offensive and making him. 1119 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,560 Speaker 5: DEFENSIVE i can already see. It BUT i don't want 1120 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,759 Speaker 5: this in my life or my son's. Life AND i 1121 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,640 Speaker 5: didn't create the. SITUATION i have never dealt with someone like. 1122 00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,920 Speaker 5: THIS i really don't know what to. Do and we 1123 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,879 Speaker 5: do have some, comments but do you have any comments so. 1124 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,640 Speaker 4: Far confirming it's his? 1125 00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:34,080 Speaker 2: Mom? 1126 00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:34,520 Speaker 4: Right? 1127 00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:38,080 Speaker 5: Yes, yeah so her mother in, law her mother in. 1128 00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,200 Speaker 4: Law i'm kind of like at that point where it's, 1129 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,960 Speaker 4: like if he is the one that's kind of just, like, 1130 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,000 Speaker 4: Hey i'm kind of over. 1131 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,040 Speaker 5: Her, YEAH i think that is his mom more. 1132 00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,480 Speaker 4: SO i can understand being really disappointed that you're losing 1133 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:52,080 Speaker 4: that connection. Still but if he's the one that's, like, 1134 00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,680 Speaker 4: HEY i really don't want to talk to my mother, anymore, 1135 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,200 Speaker 4: RIGHT i think we kind of gotta let it. Happen. 1136 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,720 Speaker 5: YEAH i, think LIKE i know that you're in family 1137 00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:01,760 Speaker 5: therape and that's great that you guys are like talking 1138 00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,920 Speaker 5: and talking about. Things SO i hope that you guys 1139 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,120 Speaker 5: have been having that conversation, of, like you know how 1140 00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,960 Speaker 5: you feel about, things because if you're in family therapy 1141 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,400 Speaker 5: and she's in the family, therapy and then LIKE i 1142 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:16,560 Speaker 5: wonder if do you even feel like you can like speak? 1143 00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,960 Speaker 5: RIGHT i don't know that's up to, you BUT i, 1144 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:22,760 Speaker 5: mean hopefully like a conversation about, like, HEY i DON'T 1145 00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,840 Speaker 5: i don't want my kid around this. Anymore like hopefully 1146 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,920 Speaker 5: that will kind of convince him to be, Like, okay 1147 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,400 Speaker 5: we gotta lock in. Here, yeah you gotta figure out. 1148 00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:33,839 Speaker 4: She actually knew something about it or move. 1149 00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,799 Speaker 5: On, yeah we do have some. Comments comment number one 1150 00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,040 Speaker 5: says he knows his mom very. Well evidently this is her. 1151 00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:44,600 Speaker 5: Normal he here is don't participate in her. Game when 1152 00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:46,840 Speaker 5: she has had enough of not talking to any of, 1153 00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:47,880 Speaker 5: you she will contact. 1154 00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,960 Speaker 4: You she secretly likes. 1155 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:52,279 Speaker 5: You scrambling over her and not talking to you and 1156 00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,640 Speaker 5: wanting you to jump through hoops to get her to 1157 00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:58,319 Speaker 5: talk to. You her joy is your. Reaction don't give 1158 00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,759 Speaker 5: it to. Her she will find that she's missing out 1159 00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:04,440 Speaker 5: on her. Grandchild let your husband send out any. Information 1160 00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:06,840 Speaker 5: if you are in a group chat with other family, 1161 00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,080 Speaker 5: members post pictures or videos, there do not send it to. 1162 00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,960 Speaker 5: Her she is wanting to punish you and your husband 1163 00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,359 Speaker 5: for daring to give boundaries and have you give her 1164 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:18,200 Speaker 5: what she. Wants when she talks to you all, again 1165 00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:21,399 Speaker 5: and she, will as this is HERM, o respond back 1166 00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,400 Speaker 5: as though nothing. Happened don't say we missed, you or 1167 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,359 Speaker 5: bring up what she missed on or. Anything just talk 1168 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,640 Speaker 5: to her like you had lunch. Yesterday she will be 1169 00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:31,719 Speaker 5: hurt that her game didn't, work but maybe she will 1170 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,080 Speaker 5: realize that her tantrum didn't get the results that she 1171 00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:37,240 Speaker 5: was hoping. For if you want to jiggle her, cage 1172 00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:41,560 Speaker 5: that's a crazy. Saying i've never heard that. BEFORE a 1173 00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,040 Speaker 5: picture of video with little one with your family or 1174 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:47,360 Speaker 5: an aunt giggling or having fun will make her realize 1175 00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,399 Speaker 5: that she's cutting her own nose. Off nice Comp number two, Says, 1176 00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,880 Speaker 5: okay so our kid needs grandparents is a very bad 1177 00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,759 Speaker 5: starting point for any decision or. Actions the truth is 1178 00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,560 Speaker 5: kids don't need. Grandparents it can be an amazing and 1179 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:01,960 Speaker 5: anefficial thing to have them in their, life but it's 1180 00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,320 Speaker 5: definitely not something a child Needs what a child really 1181 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:10,640 Speaker 5: needs is emotionally available and loving and consistent. Caregivers usually 1182 00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:13,680 Speaker 5: those are parents or a single. Parent that is the 1183 00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:16,480 Speaker 5: only thing that children really need in terms of healthy 1184 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 5: and nurturing. Development many children don't have grandparents or have 1185 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,760 Speaker 5: grandparents that are not worthy of being in a child's, 1186 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,320 Speaker 5: life and they are not traumatized by. That no one 1187 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:29,480 Speaker 5: was ever traumatized because they didn't have. Grandparents common number three, 1188 00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:32,320 Speaker 5: says let her be no. Contact nobody can control. Her 1189 00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:35,240 Speaker 5: for whatever, reason she doesn't want you in her, life 1190 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,200 Speaker 5: and that's. Fine the question, is is dear husband going 1191 00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,480 Speaker 5: to try and push. This i'm on the other side of. 1192 00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,800 Speaker 5: THIS i have no ill will towards her, anymore but 1193 00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:46,280 Speaker 5: that doesn't mean THAT i ever want to be around her. 1194 00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:49,880 Speaker 5: Again she's bad for my mental health. Period it's honestly 1195 00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,400 Speaker 5: more loving and compassionate for us not to have. Contact 1196 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,920 Speaker 5: i'm guessing that last part was op responding to the, Comment, 1197 00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,280 Speaker 5: yeah just got pushed together a, bit but we do 1198 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:02,520 Speaker 5: have an. Update do you have any thoughts before we? 1199 00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:03,520 Speaker 4: GO i don't have any. 1200 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,520 Speaker 5: Thoughts, YEAH i think this is go. EITHER i think 1201 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:10,000 Speaker 5: the commenters summed that up. Perfectly, yeah do what you need. 1202 00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,320 Speaker 5: To you'll your kids will be. Fine if they don't have, 1203 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:16,280 Speaker 5: Grandparents it'll be. Fine it's gonna be. Fine we do 1204 00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,480 Speaker 5: have an update follow up on mother in law going no. Contact, 1205 00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:23,600 Speaker 5: yes it is a husband problem. A according to my, 1206 00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:27,640 Speaker 5: husband she had been no contacts IN, dms occasionally responsive 1207 00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:29,640 Speaker 5: in the family group, chat and the last thing she 1208 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,320 Speaker 5: told him was that she was mourning the relationship with 1209 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:35,240 Speaker 5: our son and prepared to never see him. Again. Wow 1210 00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,400 Speaker 5: we had a video call with his passing away grandpa last. 1211 00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:42,320 Speaker 5: Night it was. Enlightening neither of his parents dressed me 1212 00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,760 Speaker 5: or talked about me at, all but they were both 1213 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:47,720 Speaker 5: cooing and fussing over my son like nothing was, wrong 1214 00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:51,000 Speaker 5: saying see you, soon do you remember, me we still love, 1215 00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:55,200 Speaker 5: you et. Cetera his mother stayed off, camera cooing. Along 1216 00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,560 Speaker 5: then she referenced some pictures from daycare that she saw 1217 00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,160 Speaker 5: that day and asked for his head measurements to make 1218 00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:04,120 Speaker 5: him a winter. Hat so, one my husband has been 1219 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,400 Speaker 5: sending her pictures of our son and talking to her 1220 00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:10,280 Speaker 5: daily in real. Time. Two apparently at some point she 1221 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:13,960 Speaker 5: stopped quote mourning the relationship and is planning to have 1222 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:17,000 Speaker 5: one with our son again my husband didn't tell me 1223 00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:19,600 Speaker 5: any of. This it seems they are arranging a future 1224 00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:22,760 Speaker 5: family dynamic between, them my, husband and our son that 1225 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:27,000 Speaker 5: doesn't involve me at. All that's kind of. 1226 00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,000 Speaker 4: Wild, yeah you got like they really need to get 1227 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:32,960 Speaker 4: on the same page of what levels of contact are 1228 00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:34,000 Speaker 4: gonna be had kind of. 1229 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,760 Speaker 5: Thing, yeah and then your husband needs to hold to. It, 1230 00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:42,200 Speaker 5: yeah so they really just have not to. Her she 1231 00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,760 Speaker 5: has been no contact and her husband has been no 1232 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,760 Speaker 5: contact with his, mom and all of a, sudden now 1233 00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:52,520 Speaker 5: she's finding out that it's they've been chatting up a storms. 1234 00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:53,960 Speaker 4: And sending pictures the whole, time. 1235 00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,000 Speaker 5: This whole, time and just not including the whole. Time 1236 00:59:57,320 --> 00:59:59,880 Speaker 5: see when it said it was a husband, PROBLEM i was, thinking, like, 1237 01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,760 Speaker 5: oh he's just like not having his spine or. Whatever 1238 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,600 Speaker 5: he's like not not like letting her or he's letting 1239 01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,600 Speaker 5: her do this and that or, whatever but not just 1240 01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:11,200 Speaker 5: straight Up, yeah my husband is excuting me. 1241 01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:12,840 Speaker 4: Too, yeah that's, cool. 1242 01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,200 Speaker 5: Easy we do have a little bit more to the. 1243 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:18,120 Speaker 5: STORY i THINK i have to put a stop to. It. 1244 01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,560 Speaker 5: YEAH i really don't want my son to see me 1245 01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,320 Speaker 5: treated like this and think that it's. NORMAL i don't 1246 01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,200 Speaker 5: want him to have grandparents who dole out conditional love 1247 01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:28,840 Speaker 5: and gifts while behaving this way towards his parents and 1248 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,200 Speaker 5: eventually to. HIM i need to decide my boundaries AND 1249 01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,800 Speaker 5: i will take my husband to therapy and lay them. 1250 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,640 Speaker 5: DOWN i am thinking no contact with me until she. 1251 01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:41,520 Speaker 5: Apologizes no. Contact that isn't the bare minimum unless she 1252 01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:44,480 Speaker 5: agrees to a therapy session with me and my. Husband she, 1253 01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,120 Speaker 5: won't BUT i obviously can't trust them in, private very 1254 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,880 Speaker 5: limited monitored contact with our son once a year if 1255 01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:52,640 Speaker 5: they choose to, visit since they are thankfully long, distance 1256 01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:56,040 Speaker 5: we will not visit them or leave our son alone 1257 01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:58,280 Speaker 5: with them. Ever and that is the end of that. 1258 01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:02,120 Speaker 5: Story well, Way, WELL i have a really hard time 1259 01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:03,960 Speaker 5: believing that your husband is going to agree to all, 1260 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,520 Speaker 5: that but or. 1261 01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:07,840 Speaker 4: Like he'll agree to it and it's still going to, 1262 01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,520 Speaker 4: happen and you're not going to know what's, happening and 1263 01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:10,120 Speaker 4: it's not gonna. 1264 01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,640 Speaker 5: Repeat, yeah BUT i, mean at least you know what 1265 01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:17,040 Speaker 5: you want, now and maybe you can also dream, up, 1266 01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,440 Speaker 5: like you, know just in case he doesn't do, that 1267 01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:20,280 Speaker 5: what Will. 1268 01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:24,480 Speaker 4: Yeah exactly where will you? Go what's what? 1269 01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,800 Speaker 5: Happened and that's the end of this story