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Speaker 1: How do I know the difference between whether I have

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Speaker 1: ADHD or I'm just distracted? Because we're living in an

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Speaker 1: overwhelming time.

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Speaker 2: Short attention span, distractability, disorganization, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. They can't

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Speaker 2: sit still. Psychiatrist and clinical neuroscientist, doctor Daniel Amen.

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Speaker 1: Fourth pioneered psychiatrist, says the feeling better starts with understanding

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Speaker 1: your brain.

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Speaker 2: And ninety percent of mothers work outside the house. When

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Speaker 2: they have untreated add they often look depressed and they

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Speaker 2: get on something like buxapro, which actually makes them more

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Speaker 2: add happier, but more distracted, happier, less focused, happier, more impulsive.

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Speaker 2: To eliminate gluten, dairy, corn, soy, artificial dies and sweeteners,

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Speaker 2: seventy percent of the kids lost their ADP.

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Speaker 1: No way, someone's sitting here thinking I'm not gonna achieve

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Speaker 1: anything with my life because I've got ADHD. What would

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Speaker 1: you say to them?

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast Jay Seti, J.

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Speaker 1: Sheddy Sews only Jet. Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose,

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Speaker 1: the place you come to become the happier, healthier, and

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Speaker 1: more healed. Today's guest is someone who has frequented the

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Speaker 1: podcast more than any other guest, the most requested, the

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Speaker 1: most often, and someone that I'm grateful to have known

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Speaker 1: for the last few years and become friends with. He's

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Speaker 1: the person that I reach out to when I have

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Speaker 1: a question around something I'm unsure about, when I'm testing something,

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Speaker 1: when I'm experimenting something. This is the person that I

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Speaker 1: write to and say, Hey, what do you think about this?

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about none other than doctor Daniel Aman, physician,

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Speaker 1: adult and child psychiatrist and founder of Aiman Clinics, which

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Speaker 1: has eleven US locations and the world's largest database of

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Speaker 1: brain scans for psychiatry with over two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 1: thousand spec scans from one hundred and fifty five countries.

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Speaker 1: Committed to revolutionizing brain health, Doctor Amen also founded brain MD,

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Speaker 1: the Change Your Brain Foundation, and Aiman University, which has

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Speaker 1: trained thousands of medical and mental health professionals. A leading

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Speaker 1: expert in brain and mental health, Doctor Amen has millions

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Speaker 1: of followers, produced seventeen national public television shows, garnered three

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Speaker 1: hundred plus million video views, and hosts that Change Your

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Speaker 1: Brain every Day podcast. If you haven't subscribed, I highly

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Speaker 1: recommend it. He's a twelve time New York Times bestselling

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Speaker 1: author and doctor Amen's highly anticipated new book, Change Your Brain,

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Speaker 1: Change Your Pain, will be released in twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome back to On Purpose one of our dearest

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Speaker 1: friends of the show, doctor Daniel Aman Daniel. It's great

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Speaker 1: to have you here. As always, I still remember all

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Speaker 1: the years ago when I launched my podcast. You came

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Speaker 1: on the first ever year. We used to record from

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Speaker 1: my apartment in Hollywood, if you remember, and I'm just

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Speaker 1: so grateful that you did such a consistent guest.

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Speaker 2: I opened one of my books with an experience on

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Speaker 2: the way to the podcast seeing a homeless person and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I wonder what his brain looks like. I

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Speaker 2: love you, thank you, I'm honored to be back. I

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Speaker 2: always love our conversations.

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Speaker 1: I want to start pretty direct. Why does it seem

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Speaker 1: like everyone today has a DHD?

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Speaker 2: A lot of people do, but our society is dramatically

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Speaker 2: elevating it. When you think of the gadgets that steal

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Speaker 2: our attention, the ultra process foods that our brain really

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Speaker 2: doesn't like, the chronic stress, it's like, that's the simple answer,

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Speaker 2: and the simple answer is, let me medicate you and

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Speaker 2: you'll focus better, but not for long. And so as

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Speaker 2: our society has taken more medication, we have not gotten healthier.

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Speaker 2: So I think for people who really have ADD or ADHD,

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Speaker 2: and I use those terms interchangeably because the way we

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Speaker 2: diagnose people, it used to be ADD, and by a

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Speaker 2: vote of people they changed it to ADHD, which I

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Speaker 2: think was actually a big mistake. It's always been there, right.

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Speaker 2: You can actually look in the Old Testament and you go,

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Speaker 2: these people had add The real ADD is genetic. You

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Speaker 2: get it from your mom or dad. You can see

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Speaker 2: it in your people, you can see it in your ancestors,

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Speaker 2: and left untreated, they're very serious problems. So if I

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Speaker 2: think somebody really has ADD and that medicine would help them,

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Speaker 2: they always go what are the side effects? Always tell

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Speaker 2: them your appetitle be less. Take too late in the day,

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Speaker 2: You may have trouble sleeping. Sometimes people get headaches or

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Speaker 2: tummy aches, so it's almost always go away. If you're

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Speaker 2: prone to tics, you may have more tics. But I

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Speaker 2: want them to ask. The other question is what are

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Speaker 2: the side effects of not taking appropriate treatment for ADD?

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Speaker 2: And it's things like school failure and drug abuse and incarceration, divorce, bankruptcy.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy we're talking about it because this is

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Speaker 2: a really serious issue because if you go to places

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Speaker 2: like prison, there's a high percentage of people who have

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Speaker 2: untreated ADD that did not have proper focus or impulse

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Speaker 2: can So.

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Speaker 1: Would you say that is ADHD being overdiagnosed.

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Speaker 2: I think it's overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed or overdiagnosed overall, because

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Speaker 2: people see this as this simple answer, underdiagnosed, especially in

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Speaker 2: people who are not hyperactive or females, because we still

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Speaker 2: have gender bias in this country. If you have a

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Speaker 2: little boy and he's not doing well in school, you

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Speaker 2: get really worried because you realize he's going to have

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Speaker 2: to take care of her family someday. For a girl

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Speaker 2: she's not doing as well well, you think maybe she's

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Speaker 2: not that smart, and you hope she marries somebody nice,

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Speaker 2: which is completely irrational given that we now have three

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Speaker 2: generations of women who are in the workforce. Here in California,

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Speaker 2: ninety percent of mothers work outside the house. And when

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Speaker 2: they have untreated add they often look depressed and they

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Speaker 2: get on something like lexapro on an SSRI, which actually

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Speaker 2: makes them more add but now they don't care that

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Speaker 2: they're more aded, because serotonin will talk about it. They

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Speaker 2: counterbalance each other. So serotonin is the neurotransmitter happiness, of flexibility,

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Speaker 2: Dopamine more than neurotransmitter focus motivation. Let's follow through and

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Speaker 2: get this done. And when one goes up, so serotonin

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Speaker 2: goes up, someone puts you on an SSRI, dopamine goes down,

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Speaker 2: and so happier but more distracted, happier, less focused, happier,

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Speaker 2: more impulsive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that's what so many people are

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Speaker 1: feeling today, where they naturally feel a sense of brain fog.

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Speaker 1: They are overwhelmed with information. I was reading somewhere that

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Speaker 1: we now consume seventy two gigabytes of information per day,

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Speaker 1: which someone had translated to reading one hundred thousand words

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Speaker 1: every single day, which when you think about that, that

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Speaker 1: is so overwhelming. So how do I know the difference

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Speaker 1: between whether I have ADHD or I'm just distracted? Because

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Speaker 1: we're living in an overwhelming time.

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Speaker 2: So you look for patterns of behavior over time. So

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Speaker 2: the hallmark features of ADD or ADHD. The first one

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Speaker 2: is short attention span. It's really hard to focus, but

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Speaker 2: not for everything, and this is what fools people. It's

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Speaker 2: short attention span for regular routine everyday things, school work, homework,

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Speaker 2: paper work, chores, the things that make life work. And

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Speaker 2: if you have a half an hour of homework, parents

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Speaker 2: will often say it takes him or her two hours

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Speaker 2: to do and I have to structure their time. That's

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Speaker 2: very common. But for things that are new, novel, highly stimulating,

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Speaker 2: or frightening, people with add can pay attention just fine

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Speaker 2: because they have their own intrinsic dopamine. And what I

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Speaker 2: find is love is a drug. Love is dopamine. So

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Speaker 2: say you're getting all c's and d's except one A

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Speaker 2: and the AA, whether it's in history or whatever, it's

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Speaker 2: because you love the teacher or you love the subject.

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Speaker 2: But it's not this one thing we should be looking at.

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Speaker 2: It's the pattern of your attention span over time. The

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Speaker 2: second is they're easily distracted. And what that means is

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Speaker 2: they see too much, they hear too much, they taste

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Speaker 2: too much, they smell too much, so they're constantly distracted

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Speaker 2: by the world coming at them. The brain is really

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Speaker 2: good at suppressing unnecessary noises or unnecessary thoughts. But when

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Speaker 2: your prefrontal cortex, so we'll talk about that, the front

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Speaker 2: part of your brain, the front third of your brain,

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Speaker 2: largest in humans in any other animal by far. When

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Speaker 2: it's sleepy, it can't sort of suppress the noise. I

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Speaker 2: grew up three houses from the freeway in southern California

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Speaker 2: at lots of noise, but I never heard it because

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Speaker 2: my brain went, oh, you don't need to listen to that,

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Speaker 2: so it would suppress it.

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Speaker 1: To someone who has ADHD, it can't suppress it.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, and so the world comes at them too much.

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Speaker 2: And you see it with the clothes they wear. They

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Speaker 2: hate seams and they hate tags because their body feels it.

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Speaker 2: So I've been married twice. Both of my wives have

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Speaker 2: add of one form or another. And the first time,

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Speaker 2: when I got married, I went, it's like, right after

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Speaker 2: I got married, I went to my closet to get

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Speaker 2: a shirt and I noticed the tag was cut out

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Speaker 2: of my shirt, and I'm like, that's weird. And then

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Speaker 2: I looked at all of my shirts and all of

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Speaker 2: the tags were out, and I felt violated. And I

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Speaker 2: went into the living room with the shirt and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: why is my shirt missing the tag? She goes, oh,

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Speaker 2: don't you hate tags like I hate tags. I thought

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Speaker 2: you'd really like that I cut them all out for

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Speaker 2: you and I'm like, I've never felt a tag in

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Speaker 2: my life. Please don't damage my clothes.

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Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's fascinating to me. So because I can

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Speaker 1: relate to what you said, I'm very unaffected by outside noise.

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Speaker 1: And definitely my brain creates the same boundary that you

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Speaker 1: said yours does, where I could be in a really

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Speaker 1: noisy environment, but I can go totally internal if I'm

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Speaker 1: focused on something. Now, does that mean that we're born

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Speaker 1: with ADHD or can we train attention?

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Speaker 2: Well, we can train attention, but ADHD I'm talking about

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Speaker 2: is what you're born with. What you see it in

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Speaker 2: your mom, you see it in your dad. I have

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Speaker 2: I told you my first wife had add which means

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Speaker 2: three of my children have it. So I know more

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Speaker 2: about this than I want to. And if you think

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Speaker 2: of distractability, what does an orgasm require focus? You have

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Speaker 2: to pay attention to the feeling long enough in order

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Speaker 2: to have an organ And so if that becomes really hard,

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Speaker 2: well that's a problem for both the person and their

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Speaker 2: partner because their partner will like, oh, she doesn't love

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Speaker 2: me or I'm not enough, when it has nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with that. It's just they are easily distracted people

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Speaker 2: with the real ADD they need white noise at night,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, it's the middle of winter, it's Washington,

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Speaker 2: d C. The fan is on, Like why is the

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Speaker 2: fan on. It's like, Oh, I need the noise or

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Speaker 2: I won't be able to sleep because I hear everything

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Speaker 2: that's in the house so short attention span enough for

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Speaker 2: everything easily distracted, disorganized, So it's hard for them. It's

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Speaker 2: not natural for them. If you look at their rooms,

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Speaker 2: their desks, their book bags, their filing cabinets and time,

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Speaker 2: they're often late and I like to be early. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: if I have a flight, I'm there two hours early

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Speaker 2: because my brain thinks of all the things that could

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Speaker 2: go wrong on the way to the airport, and the

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Speaker 2: flight's important to me. People with add's last minute, last minute,

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Speaker 2: And I used to fight, I'm like, no, we need

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Speaker 2: to go, and then I just started lying, it's like

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Speaker 2: a flight, the flight is at noon, when really it

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Speaker 2: was at one o'clock. And because our organization wasn't such,

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Speaker 2: she didn't really catch on the other.

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Speaker 1: How much of that is training? Like I feel like

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Speaker 1: I grew up with a mom who is very meticulous

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Speaker 1: with time. So my mom trained me to always believe

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Speaker 1: that if you're not early, you're late. And so I

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Speaker 1: also live in a world that you do, which is

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Speaker 1: I'm always at the airport early. I'm always making sure

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Speaker 1: of anything that could go wrong, security could take a

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Speaker 1: bit longer. There's so many other things that to me,

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Speaker 1: I've always felt came because I had a mom who

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Speaker 1: are super organized, and I've inherited that by watching her.

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Speaker 1: Even now, like my mom trained me how to make

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Speaker 1: sure we locked all the doors that night, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we didn't grow up in a really safe area, so

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Speaker 1: there was this very hyper attention to make sure. So

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Speaker 1: I'm very good at.

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Speaker 2: That, and it could have been because her brain was

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Speaker 2: busy in the front. And she also gave that to you, right,

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Speaker 2: So some of it is training. But if she had

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Speaker 2: add she wouldn't give that to you, and you would

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Speaker 2: often be chronically stressed because she wouldn't get you to

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Speaker 2: school on time, or she wouldn't be there on time

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Speaker 2: to pick you up, or it's really important you have

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Speaker 2: soccer's practice and you're late. The level of stress in

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Speaker 2: add ADHD families is very high because of the distractability,

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Speaker 2: the disorganization, and the fourth one is procrastination. They don't

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Speaker 2: do things until someone's mad at them to get it done.

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Speaker 2: They need stress in order to get stuff done, and

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Speaker 2: that just makes everybody around them stressed, and it makes

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Speaker 2: them stress because you know, they're often late because they

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Speaker 2: actually don't start getting ready until it's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I'm late, and then they always show up like either

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Speaker 2: right on time, flustered or ten minutes late, always apologizing.

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Speaker 1: And that's different from people who perform well under stress.

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Speaker 1: This is someone who needs stress.

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Speaker 2: In order to perform, in order to perform. Right when

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Speaker 2: I first started imaging, it was on an add woman.

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Speaker 2: So I went into a lecture on brain spect imaging

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Speaker 2: in my hospital in April nineteen ninety one, and I

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Speaker 2: walked out and I had a new patient. Her name

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Speaker 2: was Sandy and she was forty four, and she was

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Speaker 2: beautiful and under employed jenn IQ of one hundred and

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Speaker 2: forty four, and she was a lapteck and she was

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Speaker 2: in the hospital because she had a suicide attempt the

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Speaker 2: night before in an impulsive act when she and her

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Speaker 2: husband had a fight. And I'm like, add add add.

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Speaker 2: She had an eight year old son that had add

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I think you have ADD and she's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: adults can't have it, thinking to myself but not saying

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Speaker 2: it because I don't have ADD. It's like, I'm the doctor.

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Speaker 2: Adults totally can have ADD. And I said, can I

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Speaker 2: scan you? Because I've just learned about this new technology.

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Speaker 2: And I scanned her twice, once at rest, once when

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Speaker 2: she did a concentration task, and when she tried to concentrate,

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Speaker 2: the front part of her brain shut down rather than

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Speaker 2: what it should have done was turn on. And I

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Speaker 2: put the this is why I love imaging. I put

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Speaker 2: the scans on her hospital table and I was explaining

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Speaker 2: to them and she started to cry and she said,

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Speaker 2: you mean it. It's not my fault. And that's the

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Speaker 2: moment I got hooked on imaging because I already knew

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Speaker 2: the diagnosis. She it immediately evaporated shame and then she's like,

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Speaker 2: all right, let's talk about adult ADD And she had

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Speaker 2: all of the things, including the impulse control issues, but

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Speaker 2: because she was so bright, she didn't bring enough negative

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Speaker 2: attention to herself and never gotten the help. And after

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Speaker 2: I treated her she finished college, she stopped picking on

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Speaker 2: her husband because another trait that a lot of people

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Speaker 2: don't understand is they become negative seeking, conflict seeking, and

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Speaker 2: excitement seeking, and those are all dopamine driven behavior. So

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Speaker 2: if you have a low level of dopamine, well, if

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Speaker 2: you pick a fight with someone, now all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: there's some excitement going on. If you jump out of

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Speaker 2: an airplane that has a whole bunch of dopamine associated

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Speaker 2: with it, and I experienced this, it is that poking.

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Speaker 2: It's like we're going on vacation. Why are we having

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Speaker 2: a problem and activating their frontal lobes, they're less negative

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Speaker 2: and I'm just publishing a study on negativity bias, so

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Speaker 2: I'm very interested in are you positive? Are you negative? Now?

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Speaker 2: Unbridled positive thinking is a disaster you diarly, but negative

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Speaker 2: thinking you actually have low function in your frontal lobes.

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Speaker 2: And many of the add people I see tend to

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Speaker 2: see the glass as half empty, and that wears on them.

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Speaker 2: So if we highlight the short attention span on for everything, disorganization, procrastination,

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Speaker 2: impulse control, it's like the break in the brain is vulnerable,

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Speaker 2: and they say things often that you shouldn't say. It's

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Speaker 2: like the inside voice gets out. They do things that

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Speaker 2: it's like, I wish I hadn't done that, so they

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Speaker 2: actually live with a lot of regrant. And your prefrontal

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Speaker 2: cortex is called the executive part of the brain because

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Speaker 2: it's like the boss at work. It's involved in focus, forethought, judgment,

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Speaker 2: impulse control, organization, planning, empathy, learning from the mistakes you make,

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Speaker 2: and when it's sleepy, you have all those problems, which

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Speaker 2: just describes ADD and strengthening. It is critical to your humanity.

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Speaker 2: Did you know that sociopaths have ten percent less volume

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Speaker 2: in their prefrontal cortex, so they're a little less human

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Speaker 2: if you will even has that ten percent, it's huge.

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Speaker 2: And this is why you should never let a child

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Speaker 2: hit a soccer ball with their forehead. It's just so stupid.

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Speaker 2: And like, I'm not a huge fan of allowing kids

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Speaker 2: to play tackle football because it's more likely to damage

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Speaker 2: the part of them that is the boss. And people

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Speaker 2: who have ADD are often executives of their own companies

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Speaker 2: because they don't work well often with other people, and

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Speaker 2: so they're entrepreneurial. And some wildly famous people have said

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Speaker 2: they had ADD, like the person who started jet Blue.

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Speaker 2: He was public with that. It can look false, it

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Speaker 2: can be masquerade. You have add because your parents gave

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Speaker 2: you an iPhone when you were a year old, and

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Speaker 2: I think we're wising up. That's not a good thing

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Speaker 2: to do. But still, children should not have smartphones until

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Speaker 2: they're fifteen sixteen social media. Australia banned social media under sixteen.

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Speaker 2: I think that's so great, right, taking the neuroscience and

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Speaker 2: making it public policy. California, you can't start school in

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Speaker 2: the morning before eight o'clock. Taking what we know with neuroscience,

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Speaker 2: kids who get just an hour less sleep have a

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Speaker 2: higher incidence of depression and suicide. So all right, cut

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Speaker 2: out the zero periods. I love that neuroscience and then

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Speaker 2: public policy.

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Speaker 1: Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors. Thanks for taking a moment for that. Now

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Speaker 1: back to the discussion. Do we know what causes ADHD?

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Speaker 2: It's genetic People are not producing enough dopamine, and the

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Speaker 2: medicines we use, like ritalin or adderall they increase the

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Speaker 2: availability of dopamine. Now, the problem is is if you

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Speaker 2: don't really have it, what you have is societally induced ADHD.

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Speaker 2: The medicine will disrupt you and make you worse and

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Speaker 2: early on, I realize when I scan people, because I've

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Speaker 2: scanned thirty or forty thousand people who have add of

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Speaker 2: one type or another, it's not one thing. Early on,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it's seven different things. And so my

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Speaker 2: book Healing add I talk about see and heal the

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Speaker 2: seven types, and so can I talk about the type?

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Speaker 1: I was just about to ask my next question, you

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Speaker 1: are you already? You're already one step ahead of me.

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Speaker 2: So let me also Type one is the class because

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Speaker 2: most people think of ADHD short attention span, distractability, disorganization, impulsivity,

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Speaker 2: and hyperactivity. They can't sit still. And one of my kids,

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Speaker 2: when she was born, we thought she was going to

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Speaker 2: be a boy because in her mother's womb she was

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Speaker 2: so active. And the law is the more active a

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Speaker 2: baby is inside their mother, more likely they are to

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Speaker 2: be a boy. She wasn't. When I held her older sister,

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Speaker 2: we could watch movies, she'd sit on my lap. She

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Speaker 2: was just calm. Her sister. We tried to hold her,

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Speaker 2: was like trying to hold a live salmon. She's so wiggly.

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Speaker 2: And then I take her to the mall. She would

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Speaker 2: have been one of those children on the little yellow leashes.

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Speaker 2: The big bird leashes in the mall. But I wrote

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Speaker 2: a column in the local newspaper, so when I went

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Speaker 2: to the mall, people recognize me. It's like doctor Aamon,

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Speaker 2: I loved your column. Why is your child on a leash?

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Speaker 2: So what I used to do with Caitlon is put

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Speaker 2: her in her stroller and and tie her shoes together

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Speaker 2: so she couldn't get out because she's like, where are

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Speaker 2: you going? And I remember just holding her hand. I

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Speaker 2: take my little pinky and wrap it around her wrist

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Speaker 2: because and I had spiritual problems because of this child.

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Speaker 2: We would go to church and I don't know why

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Speaker 2: Catholics take children into church rather than you know, send

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Speaker 2: them to children's church. But anyways, she was so active

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Speaker 2: and blurting out. And I'm like the only child psychiatrist

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Speaker 2: in the county. And if my child is the worst one,

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Speaker 2: that's bad for business. So I used to take her

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Speaker 2: out and threaten her life and not worried about her

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Speaker 2: eternal stule and I adore and she's thirty seven now

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Speaker 2: and have then is just like her, which is you know,

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Speaker 2: my six year old granddaughter. It's just like her. It's genetic.

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Speaker 2: And when we've scott her diagnosed. The doctor, who was

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Speaker 2: really great, looked at me and then looked at her

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Speaker 2: mother and goes, so, who has this because it's genetic.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, it's not me. I do everything early.

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Speaker 2: Now we're written forty two books, every one of them

380
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Speaker 2: has been handed in early. And her mom goes, it's

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Speaker 2: not me, but that I was so grateful because it

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Speaker 2: took her like twelve years to get through college, and

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Speaker 2: she just she asked her this one question, This is

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Speaker 2: a great adult add question because she was still in

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Speaker 2: college at the time. She goes, how do you study?

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Speaker 2: She goes, oh, I can never study at home. I

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Speaker 2: get so distracted. I go inside my little car underneath

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Speaker 2: the street lamp, no kids, no noise, nothing there. I

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Speaker 2: can study. And the doctor goes, you have add It

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Speaker 2: was very helpful for me and for her.

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Speaker 1: Type one.

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Speaker 2: That's type one. Classic Type two is inattentive add short

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Speaker 2: attention and span, destractability, disorganized, procrastinate. But they're not impulsive,

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Speaker 2: and more common in girls. They're not hyperactive. In fact,

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00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 2: they can be a little bit hypo active. And those

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00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 2: first two types were described in the DSM when they

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Speaker 2: first created this diagnostic category. In nineteen eighty I describe

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Speaker 2: the next five types. The third one is over focused ADD,

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Speaker 2: where the problem is not so much you can't concentrate,

400
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 2: it's you can't shift your attention that you get stuck.

401
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 2: And if you can't shift your attention, you cannot pay attention.

402
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 2: But it's a different mechanism, and I found this to

403
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 2: be particularly true in children and grandchildren of alcoholics, and

404
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 2: they tend to be argumentative, oppositional, worry. If things don't

405
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 2: go there way, they get upset and on the surface

406
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 2: they appear selfish. They're really not selfish. They're just not flexible,

407
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 2: and stimulants tend to make them more worried and more upset.

408
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 2: Type four is called limbic ADD. It's where their emotional

409
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: brain is too busy, and it's sort of like ADD

410
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 2: plus mild depression, and the glasses always half empty for them.

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Speaker 2: Type five I think such an interesting one as temporal

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Speaker 2: low ADD. They have problems in one or both of

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Speaker 2: their temporal lobes. Often goes with learning problems, but mood, instability, irritability,

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Speaker 2: temper problems. One of my first great cases was Chris.

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00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 2: He's his third psychiatric hospitalization this time, he took a

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Speaker 2: pencil and put it in the neck of one of

417
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 2: his classmates. Stimulants made him hallucinate. All the other medicines

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm scanning you, and he had left

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00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 2: temper low. Problem goes with violence. I put them on

420
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: an anti convulsant and anti seizure medicine. Became the sweetest kid,

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Speaker 2: and then he still had trouble concentrating. So then after

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Speaker 2: I got the temporal opright, I gave him a stimulant. Masterful,

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Speaker 2: I mean, the kid just did phenomenally well and then

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Speaker 2: the ring of fire. That's what I may be most

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Speaker 2: known for. The problem is not low activity, it's too

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Speaker 2: much activity. Please don't give them a stimulant because they

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00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 2: can become violent and aggressive. Actually use the supplement to

428
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,719
Speaker 2: calm things down in their brain, very effective. And then

429
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 2: the last one's anxious. Add they're really anxious, and so

430
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: they tend to be early to things, but disorganized, distructed,

431
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: so on. So knowing the type, and that's why Riddlin

432
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 2: has a bad reputation. For the right brain, it's miraculous.

433
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 2: For the wrong brain, it's a nightmare.

434
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: A lot of people who have ADSD You say, they

435
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: feel emotions much more strongly and deeply. Can they start

436
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: to regulate their emotions? Is there a way to do

437
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: that or is that medication? Well?

438
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: And sometimes with the medicine they don't like it because

439
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: it feels like it suppresses their emotion. Interesting and my

440
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: daughter Caitlin, when I put her on Riddlin because she

441
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 2: was hyperactive, and then she was dramatically less hyperactive. But

442
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 2: I found I had to titrate the dose down because

443
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 2: I could see it put in a lid on her personality,

444
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: which is not what you want to do. And so

445
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 2: often you want to work with someone who's really knowledgeable

446
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 2: to titrate the dose up and down effectively. If you're

447
00:30:55,800 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: a baseball player, so just thinking of athletes, the medicine

448
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 2: gives you a better batting average. If you're a linebacker

449
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 2: in football, you might be a little bit less aggressive

450
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: because you're more thoughtful. Right, So if you want to

451
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: play with abandon, you probably don't want to stimulant on board.

452
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: But I find for some of my professional athletes, they're

453
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 2: just much more focused and less likely to get technical

454
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 2: fouls because they're not a hothead. And when you see

455
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 2: the world like I see it and you're watching, you know,

456
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: someone have a meltdown on the court, I'm like, I

457
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: wonder what's going on in that person's brain, right, rather

458
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 2: than just judge them as bad. I haven't scanned Draymond Green,

459
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: but I want to.

460
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: I saw a study that found that children with untreated

461
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: ADHD are nearly twice as likely to develop an alcohol

462
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: use disorder or other substance abuse problem.

463
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 2: Why is that because of the lack of impulse control

464
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 2: and they don't like how they feel. Right, if you've

465
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 2: been told every to settle down, or you brought negative

466
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: attention to yourself over time, it activates your emotional brain

467
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 2: and you want to settle it down, and you don't

468
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 2: have good forethought or good impulse control, and you're more

469
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: likely to drink. And it's just so prevalent plus with society.

470
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: During the Super Bowl there were thirty beer commercials and

471
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 2: the rest of them were jack in the boxes. Right,

472
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 2: So it's like we're just being flooded with these awful

473
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 2: messages that take people have add make them more add

474
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 2: and then they engage in habits that aren't helpful.

475
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: Do you think there should be a ban on alcohol

476
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: adveisements as much as there is obviously on smoking, Like.

477
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not health food. I mean, the American Cancer

478
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 2: Society came out three years ago and said you shouldn't

479
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 2: drink because it increases your risk of seven different types

480
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: of cancer. The Surgeon General last year said we should

481
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 2: put alcohol cancer warning label signs on alcohol. I think

482
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 2: when you just look at our society, from the digital

483
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 2: addictions and social media and technology, to the bad food,

484
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 2: the ultra process food that so many people that's eighty

485
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: or ninety percent of their diet, to marijuana's innocuous, which

486
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 2: is a complete lie. Alcohols a health food. No. And

487
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 2: now the big new thing is psilocybin. It's great medicine.

488
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 2: It's an antidepressant, it'll treat your PTSD, and it's increased

489
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 2: psychosis to emergency rooms three hundred percent. It is not innocuous.

490
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 2: Now might it become a good treatment. I don't know,

491
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 2: but I feel like I've seen this party before, right,

492
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 2: the big benefits of being seventies, You've seen lots of

493
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 2: things the early eighties. Benzos are innocuous, their Mommy little helper.

494
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 2: We know benzos are highly addictive and increase the risk

495
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: of dementia. The early nineties. Alcohol's good for your heart.

496
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: You should drink. It's a lie. You shouldn't drink. It

497
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 2: increases your risk of stupidity and cancer. Right, if you're

498
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 2: add and you have sleepy frontalobes, now you drink, you

499
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: have sleepier frontallobes. Still not a good thing. And then

500
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 2: pain is the fifth fvital sign.

501
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 1: Right.

502
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 2: Purdue Pharmaceuticals came out with let's get more people to

503
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 2: take opiates and came out with these campaigns and spent

504
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 2: billions of dollars on marketing, and it was a disaster.

505
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 2: And then the whole marijuana is innocuous. During not this

506
00:34:53,840 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 2: presidential campaign, the last one, Joe Biden was debating and

507
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: they asked him should the federal government legalize marijuana? And

508
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 2: he said no, I don't think there's enough research. And

509
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: Corey Booker, the senator from New Jersey, shames him on

510
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 2: national television and he said, man, are you high? Like

511
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 2: the science is settled. Well, as more places legalize it,

512
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 2: the science is getting settled. It's bad for us. Right,

513
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:35,760
Speaker 2: if you use as a teenager, it increases anxiety, depression, psychosis,

514
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: and suicide in your twenties. I published a study on

515
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 2: one thousand marijuana users, every area of the brain is

516
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 2: lower and blood flow and I got so much grief

517
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 2: for it. And two months ago in jama psychiatry on

518
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 2: one thousand marijuana users, the memory and learning centers are

519
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 2: lower in blood flow and activity. This is not in as.

520
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:06,840
Speaker 2: It's all these lies that then increase the expression of ADD.

521
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 2: And so you know, how do you know you look

522
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 2: at someone's history over time, right, all of us have

523
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 2: ADD moments, but that's not ADD. Having ADD is these

524
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 2: hallmark symptoms have followed you most of your life.

525
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: So for parents who are listening right now and they're

526
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: starting to see a young child maybe have one of

527
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: the types or some of the symptoms, what would you

528
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: encourage them to do?

529
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 2: You know, I have a free online test called addtype

530
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: test dot com. They could take that for people. If

531
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: you've been struggling and it's like you really believe it's

532
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 2: not just environmental, right, I mean, the first thing, if

533
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 2: your child struggling in school, make sure they're not taking

534
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 2: their iPad to bed so often it's because kids are

535
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 2: sleep deprived. They look like they have ADD because parents

536
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 2: are really not properly supervising the kids. Do a digital detox.

537
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 2: And then I have to say this because there's this

538
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: great study published in The Lancet replicated that when you

539
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 2: put kids on an elimination diet, So what does that mean?

540
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: You eliminate gluten, dairy, corn, soy, artificial dyes and sweeteners,

541
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 2: seventy percent of the kid's less their add No way,

542
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 2: So the first thing is not let me give you

543
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 2: this drug. In my mind, the first thing is do

544
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: a digital detox and do an elimination diet and do

545
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,919
Speaker 2: it for a month. And it's like, oh, I can't

546
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 2: do that. It's like, it's not that hard. My wife

547
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 2: Tanner wrote a cookbook, Healing add at Home through Food

548
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 2: or the Brain Warrior's Way. That's her big cookbook. It's

549
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,479
Speaker 2: been reprinted like fifty three times. I'm so proud of her.

550
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: And fine foods. The kids love that, love them bad

551
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 2: food is so important. Do that first. And I always

552
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 2: tell them like, look, if they really have ADD or ADHD,

553
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 2: they're going to have it three months from now or

554
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: four months from now. Let's do this and see. I

555
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: have an online course called Healing add at Home in

556
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 2: thirty Days and it's basically, before you give them medicine,

557
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 2: do these things first, and it's so helpful.

558
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: Why does changing our diet affect ADHD. Why does removing gluten,

559
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 1: removing processed foods, et cetera. Why does that impact it.

560
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:49,320
Speaker 2: Your brain's two percent about your body's weight. It uses

561
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 2: twenty to thirty percent of the calories you consume, and

562
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,439
Speaker 2: so if you have a fast food diet, you're likely

563
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 2: to have a fast food mind. And both gluten and

564
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: dairy when they go to your stomach, when it mixes

565
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: with stomach acid, it turns into something called gluteomorphins, which

566
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 2: work on the heroin centers or the opiate centers of

567
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: your brain, and it just sort of spaces you out

568
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:26,800
Speaker 2: for milk. It's casio morphins. And it's why we love pizza.

569
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 2: If you think of gluten and dairy, right, it's pizza.

570
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 2: But it's also why you feel spacey afterwards. And too often,

571
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 2: what do we feed kids Like when I was growing up,

572
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 2: it was frosted flakes or pop tarts or a muffin

573
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 2: or doughnuts. And if you get a sugar burst, well

574
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 2: half an hour later, your brain is walking in mud.

575
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 2: And yet that's what we feed children in the morning.

576
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 2: Add kids who have protein in the morning, their medicine

577
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 2: works longer throughout the day. And so in the fifties,

578
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: you know, we grew up with bacon and eggs and

579
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 2: much better than the processed cereals.

580
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 1: I love your thoughts on how to do it before

581
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 1: we get to medicine, before we get to medication, looking

582
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: at technology, looking at our diet, and that way you

583
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 1: could potentially save yourself from having to go down the

584
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 1: medicine room. Right.

585
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 2: And then parents who are generally resistant to the idea

586
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 2: of medicine, and perhaps more so than they should be,

587
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 2: because I think if someone really has add withholding medicine

588
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 2: is like withholding glasses from someone who can't see, and

589
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 2: that's neglect. And we're in this society, right. The more

590
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: educated you are, it's like, oh no, I'd never give

591
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: my child medicine. And then all of a sudden, you

592
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 2: see they're failing in school. And if you struggle in school,

593
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 2: you begin to hang out with the other kids who

594
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:17,760
Speaker 2: are struggling, which may not be ultimately in their best interest.

595
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 2: If you haven't been diagnosed by the time year ten,

596
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: odds are your self esteem has been negatively impacted because

597
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 2: people have said repeatedly to you you're smarter than this,

598
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 2: You could do better than this. Try harder. But what

599
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 2: I showed on the scans when they try to concentrate,

600
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 2: their brain drops in activity. In fact, the harder they try,

601
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 2: the worse it gets.

602
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: Why is that.

603
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 2: Because their brain is turning off when it should be

604
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 2: off their frontal lobe. If you don't have enough dopamine

605
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 2: to keep your frontal lobe engaged, it sort of withers

606
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 2: with effort. And what does that teach you to give up?

607
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 2: It's this idea of learned helplessness. There's a psychologist who's

608
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,839
Speaker 2: really famous, Marty Seligman. You probably know of him because

609
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 2: he's famous for positive psychology. He helps start that movement,

610
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 2: but he was way famous before then because he coined

611
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 2: this term learned helplessness. With depression. It's like you try

612
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 2: and it doesn't work. You try and it doesn't work,

613
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 2: You try and it doesn't work, and then you say

614
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 2: to hell with it, and you stop trying. And that

615
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 2: happens with so many people who have add In fact,

616
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 2: when I diagnose and treating an adult woman a common scenario,

617
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: she brings her hyperactive son to me and I'm like,

618
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 2: where did this come from? And say it comes from

619
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 2: the mom, and then I treat her, she gets dramatically better,

620
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 2: and then she gets depressed because she starts thinking about

621
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 2: what would my life have been like if someone would

622
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 2: have noticed this, if I would have been treated. Now

623
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 2: that's you don't give her an antidepressant for that, You like,

624
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 2: do grief work with her, and like, okay, but now

625
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 2: you know so your son doesn't have to go through this,

626
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 2: and you don't want to argue with the past. You

627
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 2: want to look forward.

628
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 1: Have you seen people break the cycle? As we're talking about,

629
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: it's genetically passed down? If you saw in your parents,

630
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 1: have you seen that be possible? Is it possible to

631
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: break the cycle completely so that you don't pass it on?

632
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 2: You know, I think so, But we're starting at such

633
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: a disadvantage. And you know as I think, because you know,

634
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 2: my real passion in life is to create a brain

635
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:57,840
Speaker 2: health revolution. And where would that start. It has to

636
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 2: start with kids before they have babies. Because when that

637
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 2: mother was born, she was born with all of the

638
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: eggs in her ovaries she will ever have, and so

639
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 2: if we're going to help her children be healthier, we

640
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 2: have to get to her when she's a child. And

641
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 2: help her make really good decisions when she's a teenager.

642
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 2: And too often parents go, oh, I don't have control,

643
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: and they abdicate their parental role over teenagers on who

644
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,879
Speaker 2: they hang out with and what they eat, and you know,

645
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,320
Speaker 2: we're not drinking together, and we're not smoking pot together,

646
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: and you know, like all the insanity that's going on

647
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 2: in our society today. I think we have to get

648
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 2: to their ovaries early, because if you're born with all

649
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 2: of the eggs, you'll ever have. Whatever you do in

650
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 2: life turns on on or off certain genes, making illness

651
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 2: more or less likely in you, yes, but also your

652
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 2: babies and grand babies. So that's how we decrease the incidents,

653
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 2: is we get mom and dad, because this sperm really

654
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 2: matters to be as healthy as possible.

655
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 1: I read in the National Institute of Mental Health. They

656
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 1: found that five point four percent of adult men and

657
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: three point two percent of adult women have ADHD. Why

658
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 1: do you believe that ADHD is more common in men.

659
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 2: But is more common because men have sleepier frontal lobes

660
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 2: than women. So I published the world's largest imaging study

661
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 2: on gender and looked at the difference. In forty six

662
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: thousand patients. Difference between male brains and female brains. Females

663
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 2: have much stronger, much more active prefrontal cortex. Men have

664
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 2: sleep here prefrontal cortex. And what's the one statistic that

665
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 2: identifies that who goes to jail? Men fourteen times more

666
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 2: than females. So they have a relative dopamine deficit compared

667
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 2: to females. But girls still have it, and when left untreated,

668
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 2: it just devastates their lives. And how you can diagnose

669
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 2: it in a teenage girl is just look at their

670
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 2: love pattern. They get all excited about falling in love,

671
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,879
Speaker 2: dopamine burst. After it wears off, right, it's like, don't

672
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 2: get married in the next two months because you never

673
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 2: really know. After the dopamine wears off, the cocaine effect

674
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 2: wears off, they start picking on their partner and they

675
00:46:55,680 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 2: start fighting, and so new love fighting and then they

676
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 2: break up and there's lots of drama around breaking up,

677
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 2: and they get suicidal sometimes, and then they fall in

678
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 2: love again and then they pick on their new person

679
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 2: and then they break up and they lots of drama

680
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 2: around it. And if you see that pattern repeatedly, screen

681
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 2: them for add very important.

682
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: How does ADHD show up differently for men and women.

683
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 2: So men tend to be more hyperactive, women tend to

684
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 2: have more the inattentive type. Women also tend to have

685
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:37,800
Speaker 2: the over focused type more men the temporal lobe type,

686
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 2: because the temporal lobe type can be in part born

687
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 2: out of a concussion or a head injury. And you

688
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:51,280
Speaker 2: know people have add have way more concussions and accidents,

689
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:55,359
Speaker 2: and the reason for that is the shorter attention span

690
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 2: and impulse control issues.

691
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: I think it's sitting here listening to you and trying

692
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 1: to understand your how even the way you broke down

693
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,399
Speaker 1: the seven types of ADHD, you start to think about

694
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: how ADHD doesn't just affect an individual's focus and attention

695
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: and performance at school, as you rightly said earlier, it

696
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: starts to affect your relationships. Right If you have a parent,

697
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: and I want to talk about all of these independently.

698
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: If you have a parent that has ADHD and they

699
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 1: have passed or haven't passed it on to you, that

700
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 1: has an impact on you. If you're dating someone. You

701
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 1: were talking about your first two wives, when you're dating

702
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 1: someone who has ADHD, that has an impact on you.

703
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: If you have ADHD and you're dating someone who doesn't.

704
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 1: That has an impact on you and them. It starts

705
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: to impact all areas of life. And because we have

706
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: such a limited understanding of it, we can get frustrated

707
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,439
Speaker 1: when someone clips out our labels, or we can get

708
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: upset when someone is always late and we say, oh,

709
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: you don't care about me, you're always late, like it

710
00:48:56,880 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: can actually start to become more emotional. And it is

711
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 1: just biological, chemical, and physical.

712
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 2: It's biological for sure that gives you psychological effects, and

713
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 2: the chronic stress damages your immune system for you and

714
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:17,439
Speaker 2: the people who love you, clearly social, I think one

715
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 2: of the reasons for divorce is untreated add I think

716
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 2: it's often the hidden cause, and it's spiritual because you

717
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 2: just believe you're less than that God who you see

718
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 2: that doesn't care about you.

719
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: What do we do with that feeling? Because that's the

720
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: feeling for people who have ADHD, and they feel that

721
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 1: failing at life, they feel that underperforming, they feel like

722
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: they're not going to succeed. But earlier you were saying

723
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 1: to me, actually, some of the great CEOs of big

724
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 1: companies of people with ADHD. But first, here's a quick

725
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 1: word from the brands that support the show. All right,

726
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: thank you, do you to our responses. Now let's dive

727
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 1: back in. So walk me through. If someone's sitting here thinking, well,

728
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to achieve anything in my life because

729
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: I've got ADHD, what would you say to them?

730
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 2: You're responsible to get it treated, because with treatment you

731
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 2: can be amazing because you often have the ability to

732
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 2: see things other people don't see. And it's the undisciplined

733
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 2: mind that creates so much trouble. So you know, at

734
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: Aiman Clinics, we want to look at your brain. Of course,

735
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 2: we want to get it healthy, and we get it healthy,

736
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 2: whether it's diet, supplements, exercise, medicine, whatever tools we have

737
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 2: a lot of people do really well with nerve feedback,

738
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 2: where you can actually measure the electrical activity in your

739
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 2: brain and then through exercises, strengthen it. So I like

740
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 2: nerve feedback a lot. But then you also have to

741
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 2: reprogram your mind. And I talk about killing the ants,

742
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 2: the automatic negative thoughts that steal your happiness, and people

743
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 2: who have add often have a high negativity bias, and

744
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 2: so learning to direct your thoughts in a positive and

745
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 2: a helpful and a hopeful way absolutely critical to overcome it.

746
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 2: The first exercise I do with all of my patients,

747
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 2: but particularly my add patients, is called the one page miracle.

748
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 2: On one piece of paper, write down what you want relationships?

749
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 2: What do you want? Like with ten, I want a kind, caring, loving, supportive,

750
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 2: passionate relationship. Don't always feel it. I get rude thoughts

751
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 2: that show up, but I don't say them. Why because

752
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 2: I inhibit them because they don't fit. Most people in

753
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 2: life don't do this exercise, which I find crazy. What

754
00:51:56,560 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 2: do you want your work or school? What do you

755
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 2: want for your money? What do you want for your

756
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 2: physical health, your emotional health, your spiritual What do you want?

757
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,280
Speaker 2: We put it on one paper, and then the question

758
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 2: always becomes does it fit? Does my behavior fit the

759
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 2: goals I have for my life? So that's what your

760
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 2: prefrontal cortex does, right, It sets goals and helps you

761
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 2: continue to achieve them despite the obstacles that you have.

762
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 2: So I remember, I'm in college and I want to

763
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 2: go to medical school, and I took organic chemistry and

764
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 2: I got a forty two on my first desk, and

765
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, this is going to be an obstacle.

766
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: Get a tutor, and I ended up obviously going to

767
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 2: medical school. But it's your If it's low, you get

768
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,479
Speaker 2: a forty two and then you give up. You don't

769
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 2: have that persistence. But the first step always is what

770
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 2: do you want? Is my behavior in me what I want?

771
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 2: And they often come into my office and they go

772
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:09,479
Speaker 2: doctor em and I'm brutally honest, and in my mind

773
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, they have ADD And then I'm like,

774
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 2: but that's usually not helpful relationships re tact. They require forethought.

775
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 2: Jerry Seinfeld once said the brain is a sneaky organ.

776
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 2: We all have weird, crazy, stupid, sexual, violent thoughts that

777
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 2: nobody should ever hear. But when you have ADD your

778
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 2: inside voice gets out when it can be hurtful. So

779
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 2: that's the first step. I know what you want? And

780
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 2: then is my behavior getting me what I want? And

781
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,359
Speaker 2: if my behavior is not getting me what I want?

782
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 2: Is my brain? Could my brain be better?

783
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 1: And therefore that leads to the treatment. Because I think

784
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 1: a lot of people are waking up every day and

785
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:58,879
Speaker 1: they're thinking kind of like what you said that lend helplessness.

786
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: They're like, well, I'm eating right and I am working out,

787
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 1: and i am trying to be motivated or maybe even

788
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 1: I don't make it to the workout every day. I'm

789
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 1: really trying, but every time I try it, just lose

790
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: motivation and I lose energy. Is that something you hear

791
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:13,320
Speaker 1: quite often?

792
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 2: I do, And that's why we scan people twice, once

793
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 2: at rest, once when they concentrate, and if their brain

794
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 2: drops with activity, it's like, Okay, we have to treat this,

795
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 2: and you know, we can try to treat it with supplements,

796
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 2: and I like them a lot. I own brain MD

797
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 2: and I want to support you people who take EPA

798
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:38,240
Speaker 2: fish oil. Omega three fatty acids helps with add also

799
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 2: helps with mood. There are five studies with saffron spice.

800
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:48,240
Speaker 2: Saffron as effective as ritulent in some studies.

801
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 1: That's amazing and.

802
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 2: It helps twenty five randomized controlled trials that saffron helps

803
00:54:55,640 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 2: with depression compare to antidepressants. So I love saffron. Sfron.

804
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 1: It tells a kid because it's it's in the Indian

805
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 1: diet as a very staple thing.

806
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 2: Right, And there's law in India if you're too happy,

807
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 2: you must have had saffron. Omega three fatty acids, B

808
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:18,279
Speaker 2: vitamins pechnogenol, which is from pinebark. It's been found to

809
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 2: be helpful. So I start based on your type. Okay,

810
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 2: here are the supplements. Let's get your diet right, and

811
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 2: then if those things don't work, then I think, well

812
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:32,320
Speaker 2: we should consider medication.

813
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:34,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad that you're so clear on that.

814
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 1: I know whenever there's a new discovery, I'm always texting

815
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:39,759
Speaker 1: you going what do you think about this? And what

816
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 1: do you think about that? Because I appreciate your perspective

817
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: because it's not coming from an opinion and it's not

818
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: coming from a single case. And as I'm listening to

819
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 1: you today, what I really take away is that everything

820
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 1: is so specific and everything is so individual and personal.

821
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 1: It's not like like you were saying, like some medication

822
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 1: could actually be brilliant, and you said even miraculous for

823
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 1: someone's brain, but if it's a different type of brain,

824
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that well. But we have this one

825
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:10,719
Speaker 1: size fits all model that we keep rolling out. Why

826
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 1: do we even get to make these big claims off

827
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 1: something being innocuous, or something being the perfect cure, or

828
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 1: alcohol is good for your heart or everything that you've

829
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 1: been mentioning.

830
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 2: Well, you just have to follow the money. How's it

831
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,040
Speaker 2: legal to say out of it is driven by the

832
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 2: alcohol industry, the marijuana industry, and now you know all

833
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:36,399
Speaker 2: of these billionaires investing in mushrooms in psilocybin. And I'm

834
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 2: like a huge fan of Lion's main and we make

835
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 2: something called smart mushrooms. But you have to be very

836
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 2: careful with something that disrupts someone's brain and someone's mind.

837
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 2: And for some people it can be helpful. For other

838
00:56:54,239 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: people it's a nightmare. And I'm like, first, do no harm, right,

839
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 2: So the first thing if you're depressed or you have

840
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 2: PTSD is let's get your diet right. Then let's get

841
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 2: you to exercise and not believe every stupid thing you

842
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 2: think and take Omega three fatty acids. Or if you

843
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 2: have PTSD EMDR. I'm a huge fan of psychotherapy called

844
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 2: eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing. It's like, first, do no harm.

845
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 2: Let's make sure we're doing the simple things first.

846
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 1: I really wanted to talk to you today about dating

847
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: someone with ADHD. Our community asks us so many questions

848
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 1: about dating, marriage, being in a relationship, and as I'm

849
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 1: listening to you today, it's very evident that sometimes our

850
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: issue with our partners is because of their ADHD. And

851
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 1: if you're coming from a family where you didn't have that,

852
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 1: now someone being late, or now someone being disorganized, or

853
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 1: now someone overthinking kind of causes you an issue with

854
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 1: how you like life to function. The amount of people

855
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 1: that say to me like, well, you know he just

856
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 1: never wants to organize a trip, or you know she's

857
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 1: always late, or whatever it may be, that's very common

858
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 1: to hear if you're dating someone all in your case,

859
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: married to someone with ADHD, what should you be prepared

860
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 1: for and what you should you be thinking about?

861
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 2: So Tanna has said publicly she has ADHD. We actually

862
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 2: had a PBS show healing ADD and she talked about

863
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 2: it and our first date, like, I had no idea

864
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:32,479
Speaker 2: she had ADD. But when she described her mom, she's

865
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:36,440
Speaker 2: classic ADHD, and Tanna just thought it was an excuse

866
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 2: to fail. Oh this person has ADD and then she

867
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 2: realized her over exercising the pot of coffee every day.

868
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 2: That's like, oh, no, I do have this, and she's

869
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 2: not as organized as I am and never met a

870
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 2: rapper she actually wanted to throw away. And I remember

871
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:01,919
Speaker 2: being irritated about the rap her, and then I thought,

872
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 2: I had this very interesting vision is I saw the

873
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: counter clean without her there, and I got really sad.

874
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,479
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, that's just not worth the fight.

875
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 2: Throw the wrapper away and what She's so awesome in

876
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 2: so many ways, and she has the anxious add type.

877
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 2: So she's always on time, so that's not an issue,

878
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 2: and we hire people that organize her and it just

879
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 2: as fine. But if she wasn't as kind as she was,

880
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:44,919
Speaker 2: if she didn't love me, yeah, I wouldn't be with her.

881
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 2: I was with Dean Ornish. Do you know Dean Ornish.

882
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 2: He's a internest but he's written a lot of work

883
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: on diet and health, and he wrote this one book

884
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:01,320
Speaker 2: called Love and Survival and it's one of my favorite

885
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 2: books I ever read. And as I was with him,

886
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 2: I was like a little kid excited to talk to him.

887
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 2: And because with my first wife, I mean, you can

888
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 2: have all the add things, but if there's not love,

889
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 2: it's not worth it. And I've read in his book

890
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 2: he said he talked. There was a study from the

891
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,800
Speaker 2: Cleveland Clinic and they asked ten thousand men one question,

892
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 2: does your wife show you her love? Right? And you

893
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 2: can interpret it anyway, And I remember reading it at

894
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 2: like ten o'clock at night because he's reading myself to sleep,

895
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 2: and I woke up with crushing chest pain, and I'm like,

896
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 2: this relationship is killing me. This is so important. When

897
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 2: you're with someone, the issues really not do they have

898
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:51,640
Speaker 2: add or not, It's do they fit or not? And

899
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 2: are they willing to get help or not? Like if

900
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 2: you date one of my kids for more than six

901
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 2: I'm scanning you. It's just like you're not in my mind,

902
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 2: you're not even dating until I.

903
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 3: See your bright That's amazing because if you have a

904
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 3: d D or you played football and you have concussions,

905
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 3: I want you to be serious about taking care of it.

906
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 1: Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from

907
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 1: our sponsors and back to our episode. So it's the

908
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 1: way they come over to dinner, you press a button,

909
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:30,920
Speaker 1: the wall opens up.

910
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:31,560
Speaker 2: There's like this.

911
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 1: Them to the clinic. I thought you might have an

912
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: undercover clinic like a bat cave in your house, and

913
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 1: like you just sort of like the movie Meet the

914
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:45,440
Speaker 1: Parents exactly exactly. That's brilliant. I've heard a lot of

915
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 1: people say to me, and I love your example that

916
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 1: you just gave about the rapper because I think I've

917
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 1: had friends you've gone through that where they're like, I

918
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 1: believe you love me, but I just feel like you

919
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 1: don't care because you aren't on time, because you don't

920
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:01,440
Speaker 1: do the dishes. But Dan, you do it sometimes, you

921
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 1: do it when it suits you. Well, you do it

922
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,280
Speaker 1: for your friends, but.

923
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 2: Not me because they have more dopamine.

924
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: Right, So yeah, talk to me about that, because you

925
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 1: could see your partner who's like able to organize dinner

926
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 1: for your friends, but then when it comes to you,

927
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 1: they can't a date.

928
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 2: In a way, it almost sounds like they're pushing on

929
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:24,560
Speaker 2: a wound. And one of the things I learned, and

930
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,040
Speaker 2: I actually learned it from Tanna. She grew up in

931
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 2: a crazy home, so her aescort. Do you know the

932
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 2: ace adverse childhood experiences, So on a scale of zero

933
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 2: to ten, how many bad things happen to you as

934
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:40,440
Speaker 2: a kid, And if you have four or more, it's

935
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 2: like physical, emotional, sexual abuse, neglect, watching your mother being abused,

936
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 2: being raised with someone who goes to jail, has a

937
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 2: mental illness and addiction. So you have four more, you

938
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,439
Speaker 2: have an increased risk of seven of the ten top

939
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 2: ten leading causes of death if you have SI so

940
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 2: more you die twenty years earlier. Ten is in eight.

941
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 2: And we adopted both of our nieces who are nines.

942
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 2: And when you see untreated ADD you see it throughout

943
01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 2: both of their families. Right, untreated ADD can go with trauma.

944
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 2: And her earliest memory, or one of them, is her

945
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:30,520
Speaker 2: mom and grandmother falling to the floor because her uncle

946
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 2: was murdered and a drug deal gone wrong, and so

947
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 2: it was because her other uncle was involved in the

948
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 2: drug deal. So anyways, he goes to jail, gets clean,

949
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 2: and she goes to a seminar. She had thyroid cancer

950
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 2: in her twenties. So chronic stress from untreated ADD and

951
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 2: childhood trauma increases your cancerest. So she is cancer. When

952
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 2: she's twenty five, she goes to Hawaii. He's teaching a

953
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 2: se are for Jack Canfield, and he asks her how

954
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 2: much responsibility do you want for your station in life

955
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 2: right now? And she goes, I have cancer. It's not

956
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 2: my fault. He goes, I didn't ask you about fault.

957
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 2: I asked you about responsibility, which is just your ability

958
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 2: to respond to the situation. And in that moment she

959
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 2: got clarity. It's like, I want one hundred percent responsibility.

960
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 2: And often when I'm with Tanna, if we're fussing, which

961
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:41,880
Speaker 2: is very rare for us, I'm like, what can I

962
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:45,439
Speaker 2: do to make this better? Because as soon as I go,

963
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 2: you're not doing this, and you're not doing that. I

964
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 2: think it's touching on a wound I have. But I

965
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 2: want to be powerful and being powerful is so what

966
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 2: can I do to make this better? Because I know

967
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 2: and I ask all my patients this, I'm like, like,

968
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 2: they're fighting with their wife and I'm like, or their mom.

969
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, so, what do you do to make your

970
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:12,000
Speaker 2: mom crazy? And they're like what? Because you know they

971
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 2: expect me to just listen and buy into the bullshit.

972
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, so, what do you do to make your

973
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 2: mom crazy? What do you do that makes your wife

974
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 2: yell at you? And I do that purposefully because the

975
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 2: next question is what do you do to make your

976
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 2: mom smile? And I know if I become condescending, if

977
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 2: I become critical, if I notice what's wrong, I'm not

978
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 2: going to get back what I want. And I collect penguins.

979
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 2: To ever tell you why I collect penguins. No, it's crazy, actually,

980
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 2: it's good to know. I have like a thousand of them,

981
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,360
Speaker 2: and I live my life with why I collect penguins.

982
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaker 2: So I adopted three of my kids. My oldest was

983
01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:02,280
Speaker 2: hard for me, argumentative, oppositional, so he has the over

984
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:08,439
Speaker 2: focused add like classic. And I was in training at

985
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:10,600
Speaker 2: the time to be a child skiatrist and I went

986
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:13,360
Speaker 2: to my mentor and I'm like, I am not having

987
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 2: any fun as a dad. So he was the first

988
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 2: child I had, and she goes, you need to spend

989
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:21,840
Speaker 2: more time with him, and so I took him to

990
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 2: a place called Sea Life Park, which is in Hawaii.

991
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:31,120
Speaker 2: It's like SeaWorld or Marine World Northern California, and we

992
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 2: had a great day. I took him to the whale

993
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:36,400
Speaker 2: show and that was fun, and the dolphins and the

994
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:38,880
Speaker 2: sea lions, and at the end of the day, grabs

995
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:40,920
Speaker 2: my shirt and he goes, I want to see Fat

996
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:45,040
Speaker 2: Freddy and I'm like, who's Fat Freddy. He's like, penguin dad,

997
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 2: don't you know anything? And that was our interactions. And

998
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:50,800
Speaker 2: so at the end of the day, I went to

999
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:54,880
Speaker 2: the last show, the Fat Freddy Show. He's a tiny,

1000
01:06:55,680 --> 01:07:00,480
Speaker 2: humble penguin, chubby fat Freddy, and he comes out onto

1001
01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:05,479
Speaker 2: the stage, climbs the ladder to a high dive, goes

1002
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 2: to the end of the board, bounces and jumps in

1003
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 2: the water, and I'm like, whoa. And he gets out

1004
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 2: bowls with his nose, counts with his flipper, jumps through

1005
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 2: a hoop of fire, and I'm just mesmerized by this

1006
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 2: little bird. And then at the end of the show,

1007
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 2: the trainer asked Freddy to go get something, and he

1008
01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:27,000
Speaker 2: went and got it and brought it right back, and

1009
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,880
Speaker 2: in my mind, I went, damn, I asked this kid

1010
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:31,880
Speaker 2: to get something for me, he wants to have a

1011
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 2: discussion for like twenty minutes, and then he doesn't want

1012
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:37,040
Speaker 2: to do it. I knew my son was smarter than

1013
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:40,560
Speaker 2: the penguin, so I went up to the trainer. I said,

1014
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,560
Speaker 2: did you get Freddy to do all these really cool things?

1015
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:46,919
Speaker 2: And she said, unlike parents. She looked at my son

1016
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:50,959
Speaker 2: and then looked at me, unlike parents. Whenever Freddy does

1017
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:54,680
Speaker 2: anything like what I want him to do, I notice him,

1018
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 2: I give him a hug, and I give him a fish.

1019
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:03,640
Speaker 2: And even though my son didn't like raw fish, but

1020
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,840
Speaker 2: it totally worked with my daughter Chloe. She loved sushi,

1021
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:10,720
Speaker 2: from the time she was six months old. I realized

1022
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,160
Speaker 2: that whenever he did what I wanted him to do,

1023
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:16,080
Speaker 2: I didn't pay any attention to him at all because

1024
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 2: I was busy. But when he didn't do what I

1025
01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 2: wanted him to do, I gave him a ton of

1026
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:23,400
Speaker 2: attention because I didn't want to raise bad kids, So

1027
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:27,880
Speaker 2: I was inadvertently teaching him to be bad in order

1028
01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:32,200
Speaker 2: to get my attention. So I collect penguins as a

1029
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:37,880
Speaker 2: way to remind myself. Notice what you like more than

1030
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:40,760
Speaker 2: what you don't. Notice what you like more than what

1031
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:43,680
Speaker 2: you don't. And so if you're only noticing what you

1032
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:47,479
Speaker 2: don't like, well, if you're with a partner who has

1033
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:52,320
Speaker 2: add that's the story of their life that people have

1034
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:57,320
Speaker 2: noticed what they haven't liked. If you love someone and

1035
01:08:57,760 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 2: I love my kids, said he I love my wife.

1036
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 2: Notice what you if it feeds so good?

1037
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. What a great story, and what

1038
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:12,960
Speaker 1: a what a great lesson. I mean that resonates so strongly,

1039
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:17,760
Speaker 1: and it's so different to positive thinking because I think

1040
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:20,080
Speaker 1: people think, well, that means I'm just letting them get

1041
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:22,920
Speaker 1: away with all the bad stuff, and it's like, no,

1042
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:26,519
Speaker 1: it's just you're also making really clear that I notice,

1043
01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:31,880
Speaker 1: I validate, I acknowledge all this amazing behavior, because the

1044
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 1: truth is, what we're more often than not doing is

1045
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 1: we're keeping a scorecard, but it's of all their mistakes

1046
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:41,200
Speaker 1: and all of our wins. So whenever we do do

1047
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,639
Speaker 1: the dishes, we get a point. When that person doesn't

1048
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,000
Speaker 1: do the dishes, they lose a point, as opposed to

1049
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:48,400
Speaker 1: if we are going to keep score, we've got to

1050
01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 1: really take account of all the amazing things that person

1051
01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:53,840
Speaker 1: does and be open to the fact that we also

1052
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:56,880
Speaker 1: make mistakes. Because I think it's really easy to think,

1053
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,040
Speaker 1: like I was giving that example to you, that I've

1054
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:01,960
Speaker 1: always been a stickler for time, But at one point

1055
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:05,759
Speaker 1: I had to ask myself, why am I making time

1056
01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:10,800
Speaker 1: the most important currency, because that's also my obsession. Time

1057
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 1: is not always the most important thing like it is

1058
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:15,960
Speaker 1: sometimes if I'm presenting at an event, if I'm going

1059
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,400
Speaker 1: to be on stage, if I've got to meet a

1060
01:10:18,439 --> 01:10:22,000
Speaker 1: guest for a podcast a client, time is of utmost importance.

1061
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:24,719
Speaker 1: But when me and my wife are just going out

1062
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:27,839
Speaker 1: to a friend's event that is a bit more casual.

1063
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:29,880
Speaker 1: People are going to show up between seven and eight

1064
01:10:29,880 --> 01:10:31,880
Speaker 1: pm and I'm the guy trying to be there at

1065
01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,280
Speaker 1: six fifty nine, and I'm putting so much pressure on

1066
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:36,760
Speaker 1: both of us. It's almost like it didn't really matter

1067
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:39,120
Speaker 1: whether we turned up at seven or seven fifteen or

1068
01:10:39,439 --> 01:10:43,200
Speaker 1: seven point thirty. And I also had to give that up, right,

1069
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:45,720
Speaker 1: So it's also like an acceptance that it's not like

1070
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,880
Speaker 1: I'm perfect and that person's the one who's the wrong one.

1071
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,960
Speaker 2: All that and what has eternal value? And you never

1072
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 2: want to have to win an argument. If you have

1073
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,880
Speaker 2: to win an argument, it's because you have low self esteem.

1074
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,720
Speaker 2: It's why do I have to beat my partner who

1075
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:06,559
Speaker 2: I love, who you know, when something good happens, I

1076
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 2: call her, or something bad happens, I call her. I

1077
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:17,479
Speaker 2: need to nurture that, And the winning comes from a

1078
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:21,400
Speaker 2: low self esteem place or it comes from an earlier

1079
01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:27,479
Speaker 2: gladiator place that just has no business. I want Tanna

1080
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:31,519
Speaker 2: to win. If I have to win, then there's a

1081
01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:33,000
Speaker 2: deficit somewhere in me.

1082
01:11:33,479 --> 01:11:36,479
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I always say to people, if you're fine

1083
01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:40,360
Speaker 1: with your partner and you win, it means they lose.

1084
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:43,200
Speaker 1: And because you're on the same team, that means you

1085
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:46,200
Speaker 1: both just lost. And if you lost and they won,

1086
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,320
Speaker 1: you're on the same team. You both just lost, so

1087
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:52,599
Speaker 1: you either win together or you lose together because you're

1088
01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:55,320
Speaker 1: on the same team. So there is no win lose

1089
01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:58,479
Speaker 1: scenario because you go to sleep with that person, you

1090
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:00,720
Speaker 1: wake up next to that person, you have dinner and

1091
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:04,120
Speaker 1: breakfast in lunch with that person. If you just won,

1092
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:07,920
Speaker 1: you lost because you're sharing all the other time of

1093
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:10,400
Speaker 1: the day with them. I want to flip it to

1094
01:12:10,479 --> 01:12:14,280
Speaker 1: the other side. What about someone who has ADHD and

1095
01:12:14,320 --> 01:12:17,840
Speaker 1: they're dating someone who doesn't. What advice would you give them?

1096
01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:22,600
Speaker 1: Two help because they might be being really harsh on themselves,

1097
01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,679
Speaker 1: they might feel misunderstood. What would you say to them?

1098
01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:33,080
Speaker 2: Well, I think communications probably the most important thing. Make

1099
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:40,200
Speaker 2: sure you develop rituals of time so because often people

1100
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:46,799
Speaker 2: get so busy and they're behind that they don't make time.

1101
01:12:47,400 --> 01:12:53,840
Speaker 2: And I think bonding requires two things, time and willingness

1102
01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:58,400
Speaker 2: to listen. And often the other person who doesn't have

1103
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:04,320
Speaker 2: add feels like they're not being heard because the add

1104
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:06,800
Speaker 2: person forgets things and it's like, no, I have to

1105
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:12,280
Speaker 2: say this, and the other person feels diminished. And so

1106
01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:19,840
Speaker 2: having both people practice active listening, it's so magical when

1107
01:13:19,880 --> 01:13:24,240
Speaker 2: they say something don't say anything or repeat back what

1108
01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:29,320
Speaker 2: you hear and then be quiet. Too often people just

1109
01:13:29,439 --> 01:13:34,120
Speaker 2: use too many words. And if you can practice silence

1110
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:39,360
Speaker 2: and giving when someone says something, give it space so

1111
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:42,759
Speaker 2: if they want to say more, they will, as opposed

1112
01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:50,479
Speaker 2: to jumping into quickly. Communication is so important and get

1113
01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:53,840
Speaker 2: dopamine from going what do you need? How can I help?

1114
01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:57,360
Speaker 2: And often with ADD because of the chaos that's in

1115
01:13:57,439 --> 01:14:00,240
Speaker 2: your head, you might not know what do.

1116
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:03,840
Speaker 1: You say to someone who has a parent with ADHD

1117
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:08,120
Speaker 1: and they're struggling with and you know they're an adult,

1118
01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:10,880
Speaker 1: they have a parent who's got ADHD, then maybe well

1119
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:11,760
Speaker 1: they're caring for them.

1120
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:14,680
Speaker 2: They embarrassed a lot, right because you go to the

1121
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:18,280
Speaker 2: restaurant and the person just say the first thing that

1122
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:22,240
Speaker 2: comes to their mind, which can be horrifying. My oldest

1123
01:14:22,280 --> 01:14:26,599
Speaker 2: patient with ADD is ninety four, and I'm like, why

1124
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:29,960
Speaker 2: are you in my office? And she goes, you help

1125
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:34,800
Speaker 2: my great grandson, you help my granddaughter, you help my son.

1126
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:40,120
Speaker 2: I've never been able to finish the paper in the morning.

1127
01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:43,439
Speaker 2: I want to finish the paper, so that was our goal,

1128
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:47,720
Speaker 2: and so I scanned her. She clearly had ADHD and

1129
01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:52,559
Speaker 2: age doesn't make it better. I think that's a important point.

1130
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:57,200
Speaker 2: Age doesn't make it better. And I treated her and

1131
01:14:57,240 --> 01:15:00,559
Speaker 2: she came back a month later and she had this

1132
01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:04,280
Speaker 2: beautiful smile and she said, I read my first book.

1133
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:05,560
Speaker 1: That's amazing.

1134
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:09,599
Speaker 2: And I would just be encouraging and go, we've learned

1135
01:15:09,640 --> 01:15:14,840
Speaker 2: so much about this. It's not a childhood disorder. It

1136
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:19,040
Speaker 2: starts in childhood, but it can impact the rest of

1137
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:19,679
Speaker 2: your life.

1138
01:15:19,960 --> 01:15:23,640
Speaker 1: How should people talk to their bosses or their teachers

1139
01:15:23,720 --> 01:15:27,200
Speaker 1: if parents are talking to teachers about having ADHD, Because

1140
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,000
Speaker 1: I imagine that's a tough conversation in the workplace where

1141
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:33,320
Speaker 1: your performance is being judged, your output's being judged, your

1142
01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:36,920
Speaker 1: productivity is being measured. How do you have that conversation

1143
01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:37,920
Speaker 1: in an effective way?

1144
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,760
Speaker 2: So I think I'm not sure I would have that

1145
01:15:40,840 --> 01:15:44,200
Speaker 2: conversation because it might make them look at you differently.

1146
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:46,080
Speaker 1: But there's still.

1147
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:50,200
Speaker 2: That There is still that now if you need accommodation,

1148
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:53,680
Speaker 2: so it is federal law. If you have a disability

1149
01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:59,160
Speaker 2: and ADHD is considered a disability under federal law, your

1150
01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:04,560
Speaker 2: employer can give you accommodations, is required to give you accommodations.

1151
01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:08,040
Speaker 2: I think my first suggestion is, see if you can

1152
01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:12,080
Speaker 2: get it treated without just so you don't really have

1153
01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:14,360
Speaker 2: to have the conversation I have to have them look

1154
01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:17,040
Speaker 2: at you differently. But if you need it in order

1155
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:20,800
Speaker 2: to keep that job, I'd actulutely talk about that. You'll

1156
01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:24,960
Speaker 2: need to get your doctor to write a note and

1157
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:29,479
Speaker 2: request those accommodations. Happens all the time in colleges. All

1158
01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:35,960
Speaker 2: major colleges have disability resource centers. One of my nieces

1159
01:16:36,200 --> 01:16:38,720
Speaker 2: is at UCLA. She gets extra time on tests, she

1160
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:43,440
Speaker 2: gets notes, she gets a lot of help, which is rational.

1161
01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:48,439
Speaker 1: That's great inside, that's so helpful. Does ADHD ever go away?

1162
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,120
Speaker 1: Or is it only my great question?

1163
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:55,920
Speaker 2: In about half the cases, the kids who had ADHD

1164
01:16:56,000 --> 01:17:02,479
Speaker 2: so the hyperactive form were not in their later teens.

1165
01:17:02,680 --> 01:17:05,840
Speaker 2: I often worry they've outgrown the hyperactivity but not the

1166
01:17:06,240 --> 01:17:11,240
Speaker 2: short attention span and impulsivity. But sometimes it's a maturational

1167
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:17,200
Speaker 2: lag in brain development, and you can encourage it to

1168
01:17:17,240 --> 01:17:20,920
Speaker 2: go away, or you can discourage it to go away.

1169
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:23,720
Speaker 2: So you can encourage it to go away if there's

1170
01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:27,240
Speaker 2: regular exercise, if you teach kids not to believe every

1171
01:17:27,240 --> 01:17:30,839
Speaker 2: stupid thing they think, if you support them with Omega

1172
01:17:30,920 --> 01:17:35,719
Speaker 2: three fatty acids, and a healthy diet. And you don't

1173
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:39,840
Speaker 2: just give them devices they want, right if you want

1174
01:17:39,880 --> 01:17:42,559
Speaker 2: to discourage it. So if you want them to make

1175
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:47,080
Speaker 2: sure they have the add as they age, then feed

1176
01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:49,599
Speaker 2: them bad food, give them all the devices they want,

1177
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:52,360
Speaker 2: let them watch on less hours of TV and play

1178
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:53,080
Speaker 2: video games.

1179
01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:55,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great, great summary to help people set

1180
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:59,120
Speaker 1: them up for what to do before medication and what

1181
01:17:59,200 --> 01:18:02,920
Speaker 1: are some of the long term effects of leaving ADHD untreated.

1182
01:18:03,360 --> 01:18:07,040
Speaker 2: It's so sad because it's basically the big issues in

1183
01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:15,520
Speaker 2: our society from school failure, drug abuse, divorce, bankruptcy, incarceration, homelessness,

1184
01:18:16,320 --> 01:18:19,679
Speaker 2: And if we've looked more at the brain, we'd go

1185
01:18:19,960 --> 01:18:21,160
Speaker 2: we can do a lot better.

1186
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:24,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that's what the real hope is

1187
01:18:25,040 --> 01:18:28,280
Speaker 1: that the world can start to take it seriously and

1188
01:18:28,320 --> 01:18:31,000
Speaker 1: take brain health seriously. Right, If you had a hope

1189
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:33,760
Speaker 1: for how we would shift the way we look at

1190
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:36,040
Speaker 1: ADHD in the brain, what would that be?

1191
01:18:36,360 --> 01:18:38,600
Speaker 2: So I have big ideas. When I went to the

1192
01:18:38,640 --> 01:18:41,400
Speaker 2: White House, my friend there said, how big can you think?

1193
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,559
Speaker 2: The first thing I would do is rename the National

1194
01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:47,439
Speaker 2: Institute of Mental Health to the National Institute of Brain

1195
01:18:47,479 --> 01:18:51,200
Speaker 2: and Mental Health. I get the brain involved, like stop

1196
01:18:51,240 --> 01:18:55,400
Speaker 2: calling people mental shames people at stigmatizing. It's wrong. I

1197
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:59,439
Speaker 2: declare the next ten years the Decade of Brain Health,

1198
01:19:00,200 --> 01:19:07,880
Speaker 2: and get really serious about what goes into children's minds.

1199
01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:13,960
Speaker 2: It needs to be curated to be appropriate and to

1200
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:14,599
Speaker 2: be helpful.

1201
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:15,639
Speaker 1: Who else his brain?

1202
01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:18,800
Speaker 2: Have you not scanned that you'd love to scan the president's?

1203
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:21,519
Speaker 2: I wrote an op ed piece in the La Times

1204
01:19:21,520 --> 01:19:25,160
Speaker 2: in two thousand and eight unscanning presidential candidates. You know

1205
01:19:25,320 --> 01:19:30,080
Speaker 2: someone has the nuclear codes, don't we at least want

1206
01:19:30,080 --> 01:19:34,559
Speaker 2: to know about the health of their brain? Like the

1207
01:19:34,640 --> 01:19:37,919
Speaker 2: last election, I would have loved to scan both President

1208
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:39,719
Speaker 2: Biden and now President Trump.

1209
01:19:39,760 --> 01:19:41,519
Speaker 1: What would you expect to see in both of this?

1210
01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:46,040
Speaker 2: From your perception, I think with President Biden there were

1211
01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:49,040
Speaker 2: clear cognitive issues. Well, I don't think i'd see a

1212
01:19:49,040 --> 01:19:53,160
Speaker 2: healthy brain. President Trump, I'm much more curious now. I

1213
01:19:53,200 --> 01:19:55,439
Speaker 2: know I'll get a lot of hate for this, but

1214
01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:59,479
Speaker 2: I'm very interested in resilience for someone who is the

1215
01:19:59,680 --> 01:20:03,839
Speaker 2: most popular person or one of them in the world.

1216
01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:08,120
Speaker 2: Before he ran for president, right, the Apprentice had gone

1217
01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:13,559
Speaker 2: for fourteen seasons and he was beloved by so many people,

1218
01:20:13,880 --> 01:20:17,880
Speaker 2: and then he was demonized and then he was falsely accused,

1219
01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:25,800
Speaker 2: he was impeached, he was tempted, assassination, indictments, convictions, and

1220
01:20:25,840 --> 01:20:28,680
Speaker 2: it's like, how do you show up every day? Right?

1221
01:20:28,720 --> 01:20:31,280
Speaker 2: You and I off the podcast we're talking about worldwide

1222
01:20:31,320 --> 01:20:36,439
Speaker 2: shame and how some people just causes them to disappear. Well,

1223
01:20:36,479 --> 01:20:40,559
Speaker 2: he didn't disappear, and you know, he's still fighting every day.

1224
01:20:40,840 --> 01:20:44,799
Speaker 2: So I'm really interesting. Seriously, I'm not sure I've seen

1225
01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:46,320
Speaker 2: a brain quite like.

1226
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:47,880
Speaker 1: That.

1227
01:20:48,280 --> 01:20:52,000
Speaker 2: Elon Muss would be interesting. And I've scanned many high

1228
01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:57,720
Speaker 2: profile geniuses. I got to scan Muhammad Ali, which.

1229
01:20:57,680 --> 01:20:59,320
Speaker 1: At what point on his journey was that.

1230
01:20:59,600 --> 01:21:03,800
Speaker 2: Later and so you could clearly see the damage. I

1231
01:21:03,800 --> 01:21:06,480
Speaker 2: have lots of really fascinating scans.

1232
01:21:06,960 --> 01:21:09,000
Speaker 1: Doctor D lame. And I've got a few more questions

1233
01:21:09,040 --> 01:21:12,160
Speaker 1: that I want to leave people with to summarize some

1234
01:21:12,240 --> 01:21:18,360
Speaker 1: of our conversation today, to really leave them feeling energized, positive,

1235
01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,559
Speaker 1: hopeful about their journey with ADHD, whether they have it

1236
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:25,320
Speaker 1: individually or they have it through someone that they love

1237
01:21:25,360 --> 01:21:27,519
Speaker 1: in their life. And the first question is, for those

1238
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:30,640
Speaker 1: who do have ADHD, what are some great hacks for

1239
01:21:30,720 --> 01:21:35,400
Speaker 1: someone struggling with ADHD to be more organized, to be better.

1240
01:21:35,439 --> 01:21:37,519
Speaker 1: What would you suggest for them? What can they do?

1241
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:39,760
Speaker 2: So the first thing when you get up, try to

1242
01:21:39,800 --> 01:21:42,960
Speaker 2: do some form of exercise because that will help turn

1243
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,360
Speaker 2: your brain on.

1244
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,840
Speaker 1: Why does exercise help turn the brain does?

1245
01:21:47,880 --> 01:21:52,080
Speaker 2: It increases serotonum but also increases dopamine, and it increases

1246
01:21:52,120 --> 01:21:56,000
Speaker 2: blood flow to your prefrontal cortex. For those people who

1247
01:21:56,040 --> 01:22:00,559
Speaker 2: live in colder climates, get a light box. A light

1248
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:05,439
Speaker 2: box with ten thousand lucks, so that's the intensity has

1249
01:22:05,479 --> 01:22:09,080
Speaker 2: been found not only to help seasonal depression, it helps

1250
01:22:09,080 --> 01:22:14,040
Speaker 2: with focus, memory, energy, and it will help promote sleep.

1251
01:22:14,680 --> 01:22:19,120
Speaker 2: Make sleep a priority. Too often when you have ADHD,

1252
01:22:19,640 --> 01:22:24,800
Speaker 2: you're more awake at night. You know, our society we

1253
01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:29,799
Speaker 2: have bias against night owls, so morning larks. Our society

1254
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:35,320
Speaker 2: is geared to praise them and often find a job

1255
01:22:35,520 --> 01:22:39,640
Speaker 2: that fits your circadian rhythm. But sleep is a priority.

1256
01:22:39,920 --> 01:22:42,960
Speaker 2: And if you snore, get checked for sleep apnea. So

1257
01:22:43,240 --> 01:22:50,480
Speaker 2: kids who snore sleep apnia maybe the cause of their ADHD.

1258
01:22:51,280 --> 01:22:52,439
Speaker 2: That is treatable.

1259
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:56,440
Speaker 1: And what's the most important thing that someone with ADHD

1260
01:22:56,680 --> 01:22:57,360
Speaker 1: needs to hear?

1261
01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:00,559
Speaker 2: You are not stuck with the brand new You can

1262
01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:03,839
Speaker 2: make it better. Think of it like glasses, right, people,

1263
01:23:04,439 --> 01:23:07,240
Speaker 2: you remember I told you about Sandy and joining her

1264
01:23:07,320 --> 01:23:10,360
Speaker 2: scans and she starts to cry, and I'm like, having

1265
01:23:10,439 --> 01:23:14,559
Speaker 2: ADD is like people need glasses. They're not dumb, crazier, stupid.

1266
01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:19,120
Speaker 2: Their eyeballs are shape funny. We wear glasses to focus.

1267
01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:23,599
Speaker 2: People have add are not dumb, grazier, stupid. Their frontal

1268
01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:27,880
Speaker 2: lobes just don't turn on when they need to, and

1269
01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:32,120
Speaker 2: the medicine or supplements or neurve feedback helps turn it

1270
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:35,839
Speaker 2: on so you can focus and be who you really

1271
01:23:35,960 --> 01:23:38,760
Speaker 2: are when your brain works right. People go, I don't

1272
01:23:38,760 --> 01:23:40,240
Speaker 2: want to take medicine because I don't want to be

1273
01:23:40,240 --> 01:23:42,840
Speaker 2: someone different. It's like, but don't do you want to

1274
01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:46,000
Speaker 2: be who you are when your brain is fully functioning.

1275
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:49,080
Speaker 2: I want to be who I am when my brain

1276
01:23:49,479 --> 01:23:52,400
Speaker 2: is fully online.

1277
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Speaker 1: As always, doctor Danny name and I appreciate conversations so

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Speaker 1: much I get I feel like, whenever I'm with you,

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01:23:58,120 --> 01:24:02,840
Speaker 1: I learned to see everything so differently and deeply and

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01:24:03,880 --> 01:24:06,200
Speaker 1: as a three sixty degree view. I think we're so

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01:24:06,400 --> 01:24:08,960
Speaker 1: used to in our society to see one aspect of

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01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:12,759
Speaker 1: something or have a very limited understanding of the different

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01:24:12,760 --> 01:24:14,360
Speaker 1: issues that we see. And whenever I speak to you,

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Speaker 1: I feel like, oh wow, I have the much more

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01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:19,559
Speaker 1: broader contextual view of it, and whenevery I'm at home,

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01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:21,880
Speaker 1: who's listening or watching, whether you're on a walk, whether

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01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:24,880
Speaker 1: you're at the gym. Doctor Danielaman has one of his

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01:24:24,920 --> 01:24:28,760
Speaker 1: books which is called Healing add the breakthrough program that

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01:24:28,840 --> 01:24:31,800
Speaker 1: allows you to see and heal the seven types of

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01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:35,439
Speaker 1: add that we discussed in today's episode. So I highly

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Speaker 1: recommend the book if you don't already have it, and

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01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:39,880
Speaker 1: of course, if you don't follow doctor Daniel Laman on

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01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:43,639
Speaker 1: all forms of social media TikTok, Instagram, the podcast as

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01:24:43,680 --> 01:24:47,520
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier, make sure you do subscribe and doctor Danielaman,

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01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:49,160
Speaker 1: we are so happy that you came on for a

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01:24:49,280 --> 01:24:52,240
Speaker 1: fifth time. If you haven't seen the episodes before, make

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01:24:52,240 --> 01:24:54,840
Speaker 1: sure you go back and listen and watch. You can

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01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:57,760
Speaker 1: search doctor Daniel Layman and Jay Sheddy or doctor Daniel

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01:24:57,800 --> 01:25:01,599
Speaker 1: Laman on Purpose and any last words, Doctor Nanaman, anything

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01:25:01,640 --> 01:25:03,920
Speaker 1: you wanted to share that I didn't ask you about,

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01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:07,040
Speaker 1: or anything that is on your mind or heart right now.

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Speaker 2: I'm just so grateful for you, you know. I love

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01:25:11,200 --> 01:25:17,080
Speaker 2: the idea that we can train our brains that focus

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01:25:17,160 --> 01:25:20,960
Speaker 2: on what you want way more than what you don't want.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Thank you. If you love this episode,

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01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:28,960
Speaker 1: you'll enjoy my interview with doctor Daniel Ahman on how

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Speaker 1: to change your life by changing your brain.

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Speaker 2: If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with

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01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:40,040
Speaker 2: a healthy brain. You know. I've had the blessing or

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Speaker 2: the curse to scam over one thousand convicted felons and

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Speaker 2: over one hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged.