1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,959 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast for another episode, another bonus episode. 6 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: I should say welcome. If you are listening to this 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: right now, you are one of my top listeners, you're 8 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: one of my paid subscribers. I just want to say 9 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: a huge thank you. I've got you all in one place, 10 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: all right here, so I just want to say thank 11 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 1: you so much for you know, wanting to listen to 12 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: the sound of my voice multiple times a week. It 13 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: is had a weird feeling, but I'm so so grateful 14 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: that you care about this podcast. You care about this show, 15 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: and you care about what we're trying to do, which 16 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: is apply psychology something that can often seem really inaccessible 17 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 1: and distant to every area of our life, every area 18 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: of our life in our twenties, and hopefully learn something 19 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: new every week about what we're experiencing, what we go through, 20 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: and how that interacts with our mental well being and 21 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: the psychological processes that underpin it. So I just want 22 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: to say a huge thank you to all of you 23 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: who are listening to this episode right now. You guys 24 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: chose the topic this week as well. We're talking about microhabits. 25 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: I gave you, guys two options on my Instagram, so 26 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: if you don't follow me there, that's normally where I 27 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: make the decision about what I want to record this week. 28 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: And I gave you two options, either a bonus guest 29 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: episode or an episode on microhabits, and here we are. 30 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: You chose right. I'm very excited to be recording this today. 31 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: And the research was so fascinating some of the studies, 32 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: some of the things that I found out, I was like, 33 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: this is crazy, Like I'm learning so much. I also 34 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: just want to say we hit a huge milestone this week, 35 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: which was one million listeners, and I honestly still can't 36 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: fathom that, Like I genuinely am so like honestly baffled, 37 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: a bit confused, a bit overwhelmed, to be honest, that 38 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: there are so many people listening to this show. Like 39 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: I started this as like a side project, as like 40 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: a hobby, just to kind of verbalize the things that 41 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: I was going through and to be able to have 42 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: an outlet for the research I was doing and the 43 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: things that I love to talk about with my wonderful friends. 44 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 1: Shout out to them if they're listening, You guys are amazing. 45 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: And suddenly it has an audience. So it's been really 46 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: unexpected and I'm so grateful. I think the other thing 47 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: I've been really worried about is that as this show grows, 48 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 1: it might become less authentic. I just that's something that's 49 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: really been on my mind. What I want to be 50 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: able to do is continue post the things that I 51 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,079 Speaker 1: really want to talk about, and then I hope other 52 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: people want to hear about, not just things that I 53 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: feel pressure I need to speak on or following trends. 54 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: I don't know. I just don't want to lose that authenticity, 55 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: and I think that's why a lot of people listen 56 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: to this because I don't know. I'm someone in my twenties. 57 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: I'm dealing with this stuff as we all are, so 58 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,959 Speaker 1: I don't know some of my fears and anxieties for 59 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,679 Speaker 1: the people who listen to the bonus episode, So take 60 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,519 Speaker 1: away whatever you want from that, but once again, thank 61 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: you for listening. Let's get into what we're talking about today. Microhabits. 62 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: It is such a fascinating, fascinating topic. They've become, like 63 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: the term microhabits has become quite a trendy saying or 64 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: a trendy term or concept in wellness communities recently, and 65 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: I think for mostly really really good reasons. So what 66 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: they are is they are these small, simple actions that 67 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: you're able to take every day or integrate into your 68 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: life really easily, that help you achieve big results. They're 69 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: basically just small habits, microhabits. Sometimes when we think about 70 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: you big overhauls of our entire lifestyle, it can seem 71 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: really overwhelming, but we can use microhabits, which are just 72 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: small actions that we can change day to day to 73 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: transform I think, any area, any facet of our lives 74 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: that we might not be entirely satisfied with, by starting 75 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: really small, by starting from the ground up and keeping 76 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: you know, the end goal in sight, but making it 77 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: easier for us to get there and to ease into 78 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 1: those changes and those transformations, and to ensure that the 79 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 1: changes we want to make to our lives are sustainable. 80 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: You know, there's no point putting a lot of effort 81 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: into something, putting all your eggs in one basket dedicating 82 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: yourself entirely to some goal, if if you're going to 83 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: give up after one month because you're mentally and physically exhausted. 84 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: But microhabits are a really, I think, sneaky, amazing way 85 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: around that, and there's so much fascinating psychology around them. 86 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: When we set ourselves big and ambitious and sometimes ambiguous 87 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: goals like I don't know, I want to eat healthier, 88 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: or to be more active, or fix my anxiety, make 89 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: new friends, it can be super overwhelming to a try 90 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: and stick to it b figure out how we're going 91 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: to achieve that goal through concrete steps, you know, saying 92 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: something like I want to make new friends. It's such 93 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 1: a scary and daunting goal, Like how do we actually 94 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: get there? And I think it's really hard to know 95 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: when when your goal has been achieved. How do you 96 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: know when you're no longer anxious? How do you know 97 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: when you're healthier? Like, yes, you'll feel it, but how 98 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 1: exactly did you get there? If the goal is a 99 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 1: huge thing that you want and you're pining after, and 100 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: you get there, and you know, how do you know 101 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: that you could do it again? How can you maintain 102 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: those lifestyle changes? I think big goals are always going 103 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: to be really hard to achieve, hence that saying, you know, 104 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: if it was easy, everyone would do it. The reason 105 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,280 Speaker 1: is that they offer require major lifestyle overhaul and changes 106 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: to our daily habits, which we've become rather attached to. 107 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,719 Speaker 1: But what if you could achieve those exact same goals 108 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: by just doing something small every day that sounds you know, 109 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: kind of amazing. And that's the idea behind microhabits. You 110 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 1: are still able to make those big changes, but by 111 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: making a series of small ones instead, tasks that are 112 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: so small and so you know, convenient that you don't 113 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: even notice them half the time and you don't really 114 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: have an excuse not to do them. And when you 115 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: keep these small habits up, and when you keep these 116 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,799 Speaker 1: promises to yourself, not only are you able to see 117 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:04,919 Speaker 1: progress and reach your goals sustainably whilst also ensuring that 118 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: your healthy habits stick, but you also gain confidence over time. 119 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: You know, I think when we set out to achieve 120 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: big goals and we're really pushing so hard in those 121 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: first few weeks, in those first few months, when we 122 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: are you know, we fail or we have a small setback, 123 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: can be really easy to see all that progress being, 124 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: you know, to sense that that progress has been undone, 125 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: or to feel a sense of failure. But microhabits allow 126 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 1: us to achieve those goals over time and sustainably, so 127 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: that we're allowed to have small setbacks as long as 128 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: we keep up these small habits. So let's talk about 129 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: some examples. When I was doing this research and just 130 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: from like my general overall view of how the term 131 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: microhabits is used. They're often applied to, you know, fitness 132 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: and weight loss and diet culture and physical health, which 133 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: of course I appreciate, and I think it's so important 134 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: that people want to take care of themselves and whatever 135 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: capacity that might be. But I kind of want to 136 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: discuss them in other areas of our lives because I 137 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: think that although a lot of the time, people especially 138 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: in our twenties, are really worried about how we look 139 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: and whether we're active and whether we're physically healthy, sometimes 140 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: it's not the only focus. And I kind of don't 141 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: like to talk about that too much on my show. 142 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: I think it can contribute and easily become a discussion 143 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: about things that actually are unhealthy and aren't you the 144 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: best for ourselves? So let's talk about some other areas. 145 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: For example, if you want to start a podcast, what 146 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,679 Speaker 1: is a microhabit that can build that. I get people 147 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: ask me or asking me all the time, like I 148 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: want to start a podcast, and my first answer is 149 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: always like, yes, absolutely, you should do it. There is 150 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,839 Speaker 1: room for everyone, and you know, you definitely have something 151 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: to share. And their second question is and the second 152 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 1: kind of statement is always like, how do I do it? 153 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: A microhabit could be I don't know right three, write 154 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: down one idea every day for what you want to 155 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: talk about on your show, or record just one episode 156 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: a week, even if you only do five minutes each day. 157 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 1: That's a really achievable goal, you know, writing something down 158 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: in your notes app once a day, some idea that 159 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: you've had for content or for an episode. It's not 160 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: going to take too much from you. It's not going 161 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 1: to take too much effort, and it's really doable. Another 162 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 1: one that I hear a lot from my friends is 163 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: spending less time on social media. What's the simple microhabit 164 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: you can do for that, you know, put your make 165 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 1: a promise to yourself. I can go on my phone 166 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: as much as I want throughout the day. But I'm 167 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: going to put it down at ten PM or between 168 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: the hours of you know, every thirty minutes, I have 169 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: to turn my phone off, you know, for the rest 170 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: of that half hour into the next until the next hour, 171 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: just so you have those small breaks or okay, I 172 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: want to slowly decrease the amount of pickups I have. 173 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. If you have an iPhone, you can 174 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 1: see how many times you pick up and you open 175 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: social media app like Instagram or TikTok, say that's like 176 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 1: fifty times a day, Be like, okay, by tomorrow, I 177 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: want it to be forty nine, and then maybe forty 178 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: eight and forty seven next week, not even like on 179 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: a day to day. Just trying to think about small 180 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: things you can do, small goals you can set. Getting 181 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 1: over heartbreak that's a massive topic we talk about on 182 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: the show because you know, I think we all have 183 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: been through that in our twenties and it's often really 184 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: fucking brutal. How do we make sure that How can 185 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: we apply microhabits to heartbreak? What about just checking their 186 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: messages less being like, okay, my only the only thing 187 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: I need to do today is to only check to 188 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: see if they've messaged me once or twice. I can't 189 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: check it compulsively throughout the day, but I'm still allowed 190 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,719 Speaker 1: to because I still want to know. Or if you're 191 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 1: getting over heartbreak, setting a goal of like, okay, well 192 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to listen to one song I really really 193 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: love and just have like a wild dance manic singing 194 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: moment just once a day to make myself feel better. 195 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: Another way that it's I think microhabits are often applied 196 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: as productivity and creativity as we enter into full time work, 197 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,959 Speaker 1: or we're struggling with UNI and we have jobs and 198 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 1: things to do and bills to pay, in relationships to maintain, 199 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: and I don't know, cleaning, I don't know whatever you're 200 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: doing with your life. We're all pretty busy, and sometimes 201 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 1: the first thing to go is the things that really 202 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: fuel our soul, our creative passions and our hobbies. So 203 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: maybe one of your microhabits, if you're someone who's realizing 204 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: that they're a little bit disconnected from that creative right 205 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: side of their brain, is to read just one page 206 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: of a book each night, or simply list five things 207 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: you're grateful for if you want to get into journaling, 208 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: or you know, just only you'll need to spend five 209 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,560 Speaker 1: minutes a day doing like a meditation or a yoga pose, 210 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: or watching a really interesting video that you can contribute to. 211 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,719 Speaker 1: Conversations with those don't sound too hard, do they? They 212 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: sound really doable. Everyone has five minutes in their day 213 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,959 Speaker 1: to do one small thing that might actually make your 214 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: life a lot better. And over time these habits build 215 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 1: and become bigger, and we're able to challenge ourselves to 216 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: set a new microhabit that actually feels a lot less 217 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 1: significant than if we'd started with that step to begin with. 218 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: Small blocks can still build really big towers, and it's 219 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: harder to take them apart, harder to take that final structure, 220 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: that final lifestyle that you're looking for apart. If those 221 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: habits that have contributed to it are really easy to 222 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: do and are really sustainable. So why are we talking 223 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: about them today? Why are we talking about them in 224 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: the context of our twenties. I think personally, in our twenties, 225 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: we have a responsibility to ourselves to decide what kind 226 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 1: of lives we want to have. It's often, I think, 227 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 1: what we again to recognize unhealthy habits or patterns of 228 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: thinking that might not be the healthiest that may have 229 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 1: come from our upbringing may have come from our childhood. 230 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: If you want to listen to the Childhood Trauma episode, 231 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 1: we talk about this a little bit more about how 232 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 1: our perspectives and our ways that we see ourselves and 233 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,839 Speaker 1: the habits that we form really to begin in our 234 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,360 Speaker 1: early infancy. Even but when we get to adulthood, when 235 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 1: we get to our twenties, we might want to improve 236 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 1: ourselves for the better. We have the emotional and the 237 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: mental capacity to recognize what's not working, to have self awareness. 238 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: I feel like many of the people who listen to 239 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: the show are doing so out of an eagerness to 240 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: improve themselves, their well being and their lives, or because 241 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,679 Speaker 1: there's something they're struggling within their day to day lives. Honestly, 242 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: no matter your circumstances, whatever you're going through right now, 243 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: implementing these daily micro habits can actually lead to massive 244 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: improvements to what area of your life you want to 245 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: change or improve. One of the microhabits that I've set 246 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 1: myself recently is I found that because i work full 247 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: time and I'm doing this podcast, and you know, I've 248 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,960 Speaker 1: got to keep up with my chores and with my friends, 249 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: and trying to be active. The one thing that's kind 250 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: of fall enough the radar is being physically active and 251 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: feeling like my body is doing what I want it 252 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: to do. So I've set this microhabit of like any 253 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: time I'm want to go into the office and my 254 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: officers in the city, I have to walk in. It's 255 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 1: a forty five minute walk. It's not that far. It 256 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 1: takes like thirty five minutes on the train. And that's 257 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: a really easy habit to implement for me because it's 258 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: not every day that I have to do it, but 259 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: it's and it's really small, it's really doable, and it's 260 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: really rewarding as well. I think we do often think 261 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 1: of physical health when we think of lifestyle change, but 262 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 1: it can be so much more than that. We can 263 00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: use microhabits to reduce anxiety, promote how be more productive, creative, 264 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: get over a bad breakup, make more connections. Their beauty 265 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 1: is in their simplicity, but also their universality. They're so 266 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: easy to integrate into our lives and into really any 267 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: area of our lives. So let's talk about why they 268 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: work and really hyping these up today and making them 269 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: sound like some kind of universal antidote. But there's a 270 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: reason why microhabits are a lot easier to implement. And 271 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: I know it sounds intuitive, but there's some stronger science 272 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: backing it as well. Basically, they limit how often we 273 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: can apply an all or nothing mindset and consequently the 274 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: likelihood of failure. So the all or nothing mindset, it's 275 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: a way of thinking that kind of relies on extremes, 276 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: and particularly the extreme of either success or failure. You know, 277 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 1: you've got this goal in mind, and you're either doing 278 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: everything completely right, meet your goal instantly, you're sticking with 279 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: all of your habits, you're doing everything you need to 280 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: do perfectly all the time, or you don't do that, 281 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: you make a slip up, you forget to do something, 282 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 1: and you fail. You can't go forward. That's done. You know, 283 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: like it's success or failure and there's nothing in between. 284 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: All or nothing thinking usually leads to really unrealistic standards 285 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: for yourself and for others, and it's really hard to 286 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:28,119 Speaker 1: maintain motivation because we're humans, We're going to make mistakes. 287 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: Life gets in the way of implementing healthy habits, and 288 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: this type of thinking it's known as a cognitive distortion, 289 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: which essentially is an exaggerated pattern of thought and of 290 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: thinking that derails our progress and can lead us to 291 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: viewing things in a way that's false to how they 292 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: truly are. You know, say that one of your goals 293 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: is like, oh, I want to use social media less, 294 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: and you've been really stricted only an hour a day 295 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 1: and that's that, and then one day you go over 296 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: and to hour and five minutes, like, well, I've ruined it. 297 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: Perhaps I've ruined it, like this shows that I don't 298 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: have self discipline and I can't meet my goal. And 299 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: this all or nothing distortion is exactly is exactly what 300 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,199 Speaker 1: we're talking about in this instance. If we engage too 301 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: frequently in this style of thinking, particularly when we are 302 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 1: trying to achieve a goal, it can be really difficult 303 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: to forgive our failures to make progress or feel satisfied 304 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 1: and ensure that the goal is sustainable because we're always 305 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:34,400 Speaker 1: going to make mistakes. We are forgetful creatures, we are 306 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: funny creatures, we're messy creatures. But microhabits they're able to 307 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 1: interrupt that extreme way of thinking, that feedback loop of 308 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:46,959 Speaker 1: success or failure. We're able to not only have smallest 309 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: successes but teach ourselves that our energy does not need 310 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: to be a hundred million percent committed and tied to 311 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: one goal with no slip ups allowed. They allow us 312 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: to break things down into smaller, bite size pieces, which 313 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: we know are easier for our brains to digest, and 314 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: they're easier to implement because they require less challenge and 315 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: less change, and we're more likely to be successful. So 316 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: the other reason they work is to do with dopamine. 317 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: I know we talk about dopamine so often on this show, 318 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: like all the time, but it's because it's so crucial 319 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: to so many of our behaviors and our actions and 320 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,479 Speaker 1: our daily lives. It's like it is one of the 321 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: most important neurotransmitters we have in our artillery. Often the 322 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: habits we see as being unhealthy, I'm when we use 323 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: the TikTok example again, like scrolling TikTok for hours. TikTok 324 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 1: don't asume me because I'm defaming you or whatever, But 325 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: you know, scrolling TikTok for hours before bed or sleeping 326 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 1: in or eating food that makes us feel bad, these 327 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:02,120 Speaker 1: habits actually bring us some of dopamine, Like we get 328 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:06,159 Speaker 1: a dopamine hit or we feel comfortable. So when we 329 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: attempt to interrupt those habits and overhaul our lives, not 330 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 1: only do we prevent activities that our brain actually relies 331 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:18,440 Speaker 1: on for dopamine, the chemical that motivates us and creates 332 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: pleasant feelings and stability, but we also alter our mental 333 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: comfort space. And that's kind of the area. That's like 334 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: the things that make our brain feel safe, and often 335 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: routine habits, even if they cause long term damage, do 336 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: make us feel safe, and often that causes us to 337 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 1: withdraw back into our old habits quicker when we are 338 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: challenged with other, possibly uncomfortable situations in the external world. 339 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: I think we see this so often people set out 340 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 1: with big goals, for example, to quit drinking or stop 341 00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: smoking like cold turkey. But those habits bring comfort and 342 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: dopamine and serotonin. So as soon as something else challenges 343 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 1: us and we no longer have that, you know, that 344 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: stability that's created by that habit, we're likely to fall 345 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: straight back into them. You know. But if we say 346 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 1: instead of like I'm in a completely quick drinking and 347 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 1: then you know, you go through a breakup or you know, 348 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: you get a parking fine, or you have a shit 349 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,200 Speaker 1: day at work and suddenly you know, you're back on it. 350 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: What if we instead said, you know, I'm going to 351 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: drink one less drink that I normally would on a 352 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,120 Speaker 1: night out, or I'm only going to drink drinks with 353 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 1: lower levels of alcohol, or only drink one to two 354 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,360 Speaker 1: days a week. We give our brains time to adapt 355 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 1: to these new habits, which makes them easier and our 356 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: goal is more sustainable, while still giving ourselves the comfort 357 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: that something we enjoy might provide. So how do we 358 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 1: implement these How do we implement microhabits? I think often 359 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: when we have a big goal, we are particularly patient 360 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,399 Speaker 1: and we want to reach it right now. We're like, Okay, 361 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: I've decided I want to be fit and healthy, so 362 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: I want to be able to run a marathon in 363 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 1: like five days, and that's so sexy and like fast. 364 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: Results are exciting and we want them right now, especially 365 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: in the modern world where we can get things that 366 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 1: we want so easily. But trust me, doing small, boring 367 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,440 Speaker 1: things gets the job done much more sustainably and much 368 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,400 Speaker 1: more reliably because of all of those reasons that we've 369 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: talked about. You know, it doesn't leave us completely devoid 370 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: of the dopamine attached our old habits. They prevent us 371 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,159 Speaker 1: from having that all or nothing thinking, they're easier to 372 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:46,239 Speaker 1: implement into our lives, they cause less disruption. But I 373 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,399 Speaker 1: think that it's important to also have a sense of 374 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 1: balance here and not go overboard with the microhabits, you 375 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 1: know what I mean, because then essentially you're doing exactly 376 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: what you would have done if you'd done that all 377 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 1: or nothing thinking. And we're completely committed to a goal, 378 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: it's probably best to not have more than three to five. 379 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: You know. Your three might be I'm going to drink 380 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: one extra glass of water a day, I'm going to 381 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: wake up thirty minutes earlier, and I'm going to read 382 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: one page of a book at night. So simple. But 383 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 1: if you're like I'm going to read one page of 384 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: a book at night, I'm going to eat an extra 385 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: sever vegetables, and I'm going to wake up at seven 386 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: thirty instead of at eight. And I'm also going to 387 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 1: call one friend every single day, and I'm also going 388 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 1: to do one hundred million things. Firstly, that just sounds 389 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: really hard to keep track of, but also you know, yeah, 390 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 1: you're not going to be able to keep up, and 391 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 1: it's going to become really mentally exhausting, and you're probably 392 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,679 Speaker 1: going to have more failures and successes. So try and 393 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,199 Speaker 1: make it easier for yourself and just choose three to 394 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,200 Speaker 1: five five, five, even it's probably a few too many, 395 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 1: but maybe just three that target things you really want 396 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 1: to change in your life. And I think once you 397 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,880 Speaker 1: start implementing those little practices every single day, those series 398 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 1: of small winds and those confidence boosters that you give 399 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,879 Speaker 1: yourself allows you to build momentum and allows you to 400 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: sustainably get to the goal that you ultimately want. At 401 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: the end of the day. It might take a little 402 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 1: bit longer, you're still going to get there. You have time, 403 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 1: and when you do get there, it's going to be sustainable. 404 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. This is such a 405 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,239 Speaker 1: fun episode. It was a shorter one, but I was like, 406 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: this is so fascinating to me, and I think such 407 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: an important ritual and idea to implement into our lives, 408 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: especially in our twenties when we're trying to construct the 409 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: lifestyle that we want to lead, and we're trying to 410 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 1: fix things that may have gone wrong in childhood and 411 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 1: fix unhealthy habits that we might have. So I really 412 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 1: hope that if this is something you're considering, you give 413 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 1: it a go. You try it out and see what happens. 414 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: You know, you really don't have anything to lose, and 415 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: it's so easy, you know. Oh my god, I sound 416 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,159 Speaker 1: like this is some like microhabits as like a brand 417 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 1: that's like sponsoring me. I swear, it's like I just 418 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: think it's a great idea, and hopefully you do too. 419 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: Before we wrap up, I do just want to say 420 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: a huge thank you again for subscribing for bonus content. 421 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 1: You really allow me to do what I love and 422 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: that is such a huge privilege, Like it's crazy. So 423 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 1: I want to thank you so much, and I hope 424 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: that you continue to support the show and you continue 425 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 1: to love the content that we're putting out. Well I 426 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 1: don't know why I say, wait, it's or only me. 427 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 1: And if you have any feedback, if you have any 428 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:43,360 Speaker 1: suggestions for episodes, shoot me a message on Instagram. I 429 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 1: love hearing from you and hopefully I can I can 430 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,639 Speaker 1: do them. And yeah, let me know what you think 431 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,399 Speaker 1: of the show. Leave it a five star rating on 432 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: Spotify if you get the chance and if you feel 433 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: cooled to do so, And thank you again for listening. 434 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 1: I will see you in our main episode for this week, 435 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,879 Speaker 1: which is why rejection stings. Thank you so much. Have 436 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 1: a lovely, lovely day.