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Speaker 1: This is John. This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick tum minute ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend thinks I'm only after his money, so I'm

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Speaker 3: walking away.

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Speaker 4: It's not about the money, or is it.

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty four female breaking up with my boyfriend, thirty

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Speaker 3: four male because of a prenup. I've been with my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend for about two years. Everything is going well and

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Speaker 3: we love each other. We've been discussing marriage and he

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Speaker 3: mentioned that he would not marry me without a prenup.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from pumas Alice and if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay story Time Separate it. So we discussed

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Speaker 3: this in detail, and I did not like what he proposed.

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Speaker 3: He his family owns a lot of property, land and

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Speaker 3: has lots of savings. After marriage, he wants me to

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Speaker 3: move into one of the houses that his parents own.

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Speaker 3: I told him that I'm uncomfortable building a life and

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Speaker 3: family in a house that I have no ownership in,

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Speaker 3: and he didn't understand. I told him I would prefer

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Speaker 3: to rent a place together, or we can live temporarily

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Speaker 3: in one of his parents' houses and look at a

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Speaker 3: property together.

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Speaker 5: But he refused.

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Speaker 3: He said he liked the houses his parents and he

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Speaker 3: already owned. He said that he would not buy another property,

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Speaker 3: and he said that he would not sell any of

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Speaker 3: his property to buy.

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Speaker 5: One with me.

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Speaker 3: He told me, if I wanted to own property, I

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Speaker 3: could save up money by living in one of these

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Speaker 3: properties and invest in one myself. Problem is, he would

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Speaker 3: be entitled to half if we divorced, since my purchase

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Speaker 3: would happen after marriage. He told me that I could

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Speaker 3: pay his parents rent if I feel like I don't

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Speaker 3: belong on the property. He told me that I could

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Speaker 3: buy half of the house we live in from his parents.

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Speaker 3: The problem is I don't like the houses that he

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Speaker 3: or his parents own. They also have a lot of stuff,

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Speaker 3: and I feel like there's no space for me. I

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Speaker 3: want to look at houses, I want to pick the

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Speaker 3: place I live in, and I want to do it

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Speaker 3: with my partner. I've made this clear to him over

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Speaker 3: and over, but he won't budge. He earns more than

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Speaker 3: me and has more assets than me for sure. He

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Speaker 3: made it clear that he was afraid I was a

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Speaker 3: gold digger and he wanted to protect himself and his

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Speaker 3: family's assets from me, which I can understand.

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Speaker 5: This whole thing has made me feel very weird.

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Speaker 3: This topic has come up before, and it has always

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Speaker 3: made me feel very small. It makes me feel like

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Speaker 3: all he cares about are his assets. It makes me

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Speaker 3: feel like he wants me as long as I fit

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Speaker 3: into the life that he already built and doesn't care

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Speaker 3: to build one with me. It makes me feel like

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Speaker 3: a gold digger. He has enough money to retire right

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Speaker 3: now and live comfortably.

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Speaker 5: I don't.

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Speaker 3: He basically told me that whatever money he earns now

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Speaker 3: he can spend so he won't be investing in too

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Speaker 3: much anymore. He expects our earnings and our savings after

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Speaker 3: marriage to be split, which I feel off about. I'm

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Speaker 3: sure this is normal for some people. I'm sure other

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Speaker 3: people would be happy to be with someone who was

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Speaker 3: well off, but I'm not. I want someone beside me

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Speaker 3: building a life with me, not someone who has built

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Speaker 3: a life with his parents and wants me as long

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Speaker 3: as I behave and fit into his life, which is

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Speaker 3: how he's been making me feel so I I'm leaving him.

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Speaker 3: I'm welcome to opinions on this, and there are some comments,

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Speaker 3: but I want to hear your opinions on this.

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Speaker 4: Keon when we divorce.

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Speaker 6: It was it when we divorce or if we divorce,

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Speaker 6: probably if hopefully if we Yeah, But I was like,

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Speaker 6: why is that on your Mindseteah? I mean, I guess

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Speaker 6: it's again smart to have in case, like in the prenup,

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Speaker 6: I gain again that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: Sure, I don't know, but I mean I guess, Like

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Speaker 3: what it comes down to me, she just doesn't like

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Speaker 3: the house and she's just like he was, just find

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Speaker 3: a new one.

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Speaker 5: I don't want to live there, and he's like, well

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Speaker 5: I do.

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Speaker 6: So yeah, I guess he's he's comfortable with what he's got,

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Speaker 6: makes sense, and she's uncomfortable he's got. So they want

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Speaker 6: I can see again both sides. So let's let's see

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Speaker 6: what the comments say. I want to see what this.

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Speaker 6: I want to hear me too.

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Speaker 3: So comments coming number one says, this is a great move.

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Speaker 3: You're doing the right thing. I'm usually a team prenup,

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Speaker 3: but you'd be getting screwed here, especially if you kept

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Speaker 3: building wealth and your assets post marriage, and he just

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Speaker 3: gets back on what he already has. If you did split,

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Speaker 3: he'd make out better than you, despite already starting with

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Speaker 3: one leg up. On top of that, he's not listening

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Speaker 3: to what you want, your own place in space and

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Speaker 3: life you build together. He just wants you to follow

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Speaker 3: his plan. Yucky OPI responds, that's what I was trying

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Speaker 3: to get him to see too, but he takes it

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Speaker 3: as oh, so you're coming after the wealth and my

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Speaker 3: parents worked so hard to build and.

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Speaker 5: I'm left speechless. But that's not what she's doing.

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Speaker 4: That's yeah, she's.

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Speaker 3: Just like, Hey, I just don't want to be like

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Speaker 3: out of house and home if we divorce.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, it's very like, that's crazy.

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Speaker 4: Trying to understand both sides here, because both sides make sense,

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Speaker 4: but the way this is going up, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you think that's something I would do, then

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Speaker 3: why would you want to marry me?

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Speaker 5: No ope response to that.

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Speaker 3: I've asked him that and he says that he doesn't

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Speaker 3: think I'll do it, but just in case, Comming number

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Speaker 3: two says, I'm not sure such a one sided prenup

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Speaker 3: would even be enforceable, but since by the time a

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Speaker 3: divorce happened op he would be so disheartened and beaten

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Speaker 3: down by being a powerless accessory to husband and his

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Speaker 3: family that might not matter or help. This sounds like

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Speaker 3: an invitation to a lifetime of financial devaluation and control

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Speaker 3: over op Beyonce cares nothing about Opie's goals, values, needs,

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Speaker 3: and vulnerabilities in life's major areas. He's got his locked

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Speaker 3: in so tired that he never has to consider much

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Speaker 3: less compromise to support Opie's unique humanity, point of view

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Speaker 3: and need for autonomy. Opie responds, yes, I do feel

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Speaker 3: like he wouldn't support me, which is what I want.

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Speaker 3: His family is actually really sweet. I have a feeling

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Speaker 3: his parents don't know about the situation. But I will

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Speaker 3: talk to everyone when I leave, so we'll keep y'all updated.

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Speaker 5: And we do have an update. I interesting.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess like just trying to cover your own

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Speaker 6: bag and life in case if something does happen you

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Speaker 6: don't want to over I get that, and the prenups

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Speaker 6: before that makes sense. I feel like if it's a

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Speaker 6: more fair prenup and all that jazz, this is one

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Speaker 6: of those things where I'm like, again, I keep saying

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Speaker 6: I'm trying to see on both sides. I see that

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Speaker 6: OPI is just trying to, you know, at least try

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Speaker 6: and hear me out, like to her partner, and it's

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Speaker 6: just like, no, none of that, like maybe meet in

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Speaker 6: the middle. But he's like, he's not budging, and I

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Speaker 6: guess that's not fair. Yeah, it isn't fair. But it's

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Speaker 6: just an interesting thing as well because another neither of

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Speaker 6: us are married, and yeah, never been through this, right,

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Speaker 6: I mean, I've been through divorce with family and that

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Speaker 6: is just a yucky situation, so get it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it happens, mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know, but yeah, maybe it just comes

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Speaker 3: down to how they're communicating about it and maybe like

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Speaker 3: that's really.

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Speaker 4: This is and how it comes across and yeah, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: We do have an update. So before I start, here's

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Speaker 3: some important context. I have a stable and rewarding career,

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Speaker 3: and though I don't earn as much as him, I'm

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Speaker 3: very happy with what I can afford. My parents have

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Speaker 3: always taught me that women should be independent, and I've

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Speaker 3: taken that to heart. I live below my means, which

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Speaker 3: has allowed me to put aside money for savings and investments.

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Speaker 3: A lot of comments have mentioned that I should take

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Speaker 3: the free rent and it would somehow set me forward

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Speaker 3: in life. But for me, giving up my sense of

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Speaker 3: autonomy and control over my home my save space is

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Speaker 3: not worth the potential savings. I lived with my parents

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Speaker 3: and saved aggressively until I was thirty, so I am

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Speaker 3: lucky enough to be in a position where I can

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Speaker 3: comfortably afford rent or a mortgage by myself. Plus he

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Speaker 3: expected the living situation be permanent. I would not move

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Speaker 3: into a house owned by someone else just to save rent.

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Speaker 5: Would it be nice to save two k month?

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Speaker 3: Sure, but most people pay rent and I am not

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Speaker 3: an exception. If I really wanted that, I could move

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Speaker 3: back in with my parents. But again, autonomy is very

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Speaker 3: important to me. Also, if he's this stubborn now, I

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Speaker 3: don't see how the situation could be improved later after I.

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Speaker 5: Already moved in.

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Speaker 3: I could also counter the prenup and make it so

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Speaker 3: all my accumulated assets stay mine, or put in a

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Speaker 3: clause that I'll be compensated for any children we have,

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Speaker 3: or put that I'd get alimony or at least have

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Speaker 3: a roof over my head in case we divorce. But

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Speaker 3: for me, that feels overly transactional. It also gives me

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Speaker 3: the vibes that I'm going to be living with a

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Speaker 3: roommate who I sleep with and might have babies with,

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Speaker 3: not a partner. I prefer to feel like we're in

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Speaker 3: it together. He can keep what was his, but I

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Speaker 3: want to build up what is ours. Also, if everything

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Speaker 3: is completely split, it'll open up a new can of worms.

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Speaker 3: How will our expenses be split if I'm working and

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Speaker 3: he's just chilling? What happens when we have children? He

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Speaker 3: has money saved for them, but will I get a

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Speaker 3: say and how we can spend that money. I know

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Speaker 3: these can be worked out, but this is not the

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Speaker 3: type of marriage I want. I can't predict everything that

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Speaker 3: will happen, and I don't think I can capture it

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Speaker 3: in a contract. And it's already been so heartbreaking for me.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to go through anymore anyways.

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Speaker 1: YadA, YadA, YadA.

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Speaker 3: I'll just say that it felt like I was being

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Speaker 3: stripped of my autonomy, stonewalled and treated like a hostile

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Speaker 3: and Okay, onto the updates.

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Speaker 5: Okay, do you have any thoughts about that before we

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Speaker 5: move on? That was interesting?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like you guys have two different thought processes,

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Speaker 6: maybe like with your finances and I get it, Op,

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Speaker 6: you have your your way of doing things. Yeah, if

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Speaker 6: he doesn't come around to that because he grew up

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Speaker 6: differently as well, Right, I can.

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Speaker 4: It's already it's already clashing.

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Speaker 3: We've heard so many stories where it's just like all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden, the parents are just like.

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Speaker 5: Nope, nope, everything that I promise you gone.

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Speaker 3: I just exactly some sort of fight will happen, maybe

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Speaker 3: if there's a divorce. Probably if I happened, and then

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Speaker 3: the parents will obviously choose sides, and then yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: very possible that they'll just use that power. So it's

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Speaker 3: if she wants half of like the house and the asset,

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Speaker 3: it's not because she wants the parents' money.

220
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Speaker 5: It's just because she.

221
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Speaker 4: Doesn't want to get screwed over exactly.

222
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Speaker 6: Again, like I said, I see both sides, but again

223
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Speaker 6: just the way they think, or I guess I can

224
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Speaker 6: see their mindsets. Yeah, it's like and she said, it's

225
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Speaker 6: like we're already clashing and working Yeah, I unless if

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Speaker 6: somebody budges, I don't think it's gonna work out.

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Speaker 3: I agree, But onto the updates so I told him

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Speaker 3: I needed to end this relationship.

229
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Speaker 5: Boom.

230
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Speaker 3: I appreciated and truly enjoyed my time with him, but

231
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Speaker 3: our financial values and the preferred married lifestyle.

232
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Speaker 5: Just don't match. Exactly what you said.

233
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Speaker 3: It was a quick and easy conversation, to be honest,

234
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,200
Speaker 3: I expected the breakup to be a bit of a process,

235
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Speaker 3: not a one and done thing, since our lives overlap

236
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Speaker 3: a lot. I'm also in contact with a lot of

237
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Speaker 3: his family, so of course during this whole time, a

238
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Speaker 3: lot of them got involved by blah blah blah, not

239
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 3: super relevant to the updates. So a talk with his parents, okay,

240
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,000
Speaker 3: I love his parents. I had a great relationship with them.

241
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,000
Speaker 3: I would go over to their house. We would have food, chat,

242
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Speaker 3: watch TV. Sometimes I would go to the party's a

243
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,880
Speaker 3: host without my ex if he was busy. A few

244
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,200
Speaker 3: days after my talk with my ex, I went over

245
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Speaker 3: to say goodbye. I didn't know if the prenup was

246
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,360
Speaker 3: family enforced or not, so I kept it very general

247
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Speaker 3: and mainly focused on how the situation made me feel

248
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Speaker 3: and what I was looking for in a relationship.

249
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Speaker 5: His parents were a.

250
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,680
Speaker 3: Shocked Pikachu face when I told them why I was leaving,

251
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Speaker 3: I'm going to bullet point the rest. His parents really

252
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,559
Speaker 3: want grand babies. However, Ex's younger brother and sister in

253
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 3: law do not want kids, so they were so happy

254
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,480
Speaker 3: when I came into their lives as she found out

255
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,120
Speaker 3: that I want kids. His parents had created their wealth together,

256
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,199
Speaker 3: with his dad being the major breadwinner for most of

257
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,800
Speaker 3: the relationship. His mom was shocked at what he was

258
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Speaker 3: offering me, saying these aren't the values he was raised with.

259
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:28,440
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, whoa, so the mom might be against the boyfriend.

260
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Speaker 4: Interesting? Yeah, okay, so this is a development.

261
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,559
Speaker 5: That's kind of nice to hear. It's a relief.

262
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,160
Speaker 3: She had been effectively retired since almost fifteen years ago,

263
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,520
Speaker 3: and she said that X's dad never made her feel

264
00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,720
Speaker 3: uncomfortable because of the difference in earning potential. They told

265
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Speaker 3: me that they built their assets for themselves and their children.

266
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Speaker 3: They said that that includes whoever their children decided to

267
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Speaker 3: share their lives with. They have many properties, however, they

268
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,360
Speaker 3: also have enough investments that they can live off of those.

269
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Speaker 3: They also told me that their plan was to sign

270
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Speaker 3: over a house of our choosing as a wedding gift,

271
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Speaker 3: or sell a house and give us cash. So we

272
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Speaker 3: could buy a house we both wanted. Wow, that's insanely nice.

273
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Speaker 4: That sounds very wow.

274
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Speaker 5: I want that I have multiple properties.

275
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Speaker 4: Ugh, i'll marry your son.

276
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Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.

277
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Speaker 3: As they got older, they planned to evenly divide their

278
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 3: properties between my ex and his brother, since they wouldn't

279
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 3: want to manage the properties anymore and live off investments.

280
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,120
Speaker 3: Ex's mom said that she would have made sure that

281
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Speaker 3: my name was on my exes portion, especially since we

282
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 3: were wanting kids. They mentioned investments will go directly into

283
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,640
Speaker 3: funds for grandkids after their passing. Maybe this is what

284
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,720
Speaker 3: my ex was referring to when he said his children

285
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,840
Speaker 3: would be set a bit morbid though.

286
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,240
Speaker 5: Ex's mom told me that the mother of.

287
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,360
Speaker 3: Her grandbabies would be taken care of, and she wanted

288
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,520
Speaker 3: us to be on equal footing while raising a family.

289
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,120
Speaker 3: To be honest, this conversation was kind of like a

290
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,600
Speaker 3: weight off my chest. I always loved his family and

291
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,840
Speaker 3: never felt excluded, but the prenup talks left me confused

292
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,079
Speaker 3: and hurt. What they said fit with what I I

293
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,920
Speaker 3: knew from my ex. And then before I'd be lying

294
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,040
Speaker 3: if I said I didn't start imagining this life.

295
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,800
Speaker 5: So I talked to my ex again. I'll bullet point

296
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:08,240
Speaker 5: this too.

297
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,160
Speaker 3: Basically, he told me his dad had joked it before

298
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,240
Speaker 3: about how he hoped him and his brother would not

299
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,120
Speaker 3: find gold diggers, and that's where that comment came from.

300
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,760
Speaker 3: He felt responsibility to protect his parents' assets since he

301
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,000
Speaker 3: didn't feel entitled to them, so by extension, I wasn't

302
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,720
Speaker 3: entitled either. In his culture, sons carry on the family line,

303
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,679
Speaker 3: so he felt that he had to keep his assets

304
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,880
Speaker 3: in the family line, which I am not a part of.

305
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,839
Speaker 3: But any sons we had would be whoa. And if

306
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,400
Speaker 3: you have daughters, they won't either.

307
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,200
Speaker 4: Dang, that'steresting.

308
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,320
Speaker 3: I don't like that most of the assets he's worried

309
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,120
Speaker 3: about are under his parents name, and he had never

310
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,679
Speaker 3: asked for their opinion on what to do.

311
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,640
Speaker 5: He just did what he thought he should be.

312
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,600
Speaker 3: He also said that he isn't that well off and

313
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,760
Speaker 3: that his assets shouldn't come between us.

314
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,680
Speaker 5: You're that well off with all your multiple properties.

315
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 6: You're getting a house or of a certain amount of money,

316
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 6: or a house, my goodness, or a wedding gift, oh

317
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 6: my goodness. But you're not that well off, well off being.

318
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,320
Speaker 3: All these all these small ass but a sets to

319
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,480
Speaker 3: come between us. This is still confusing to me, isn't

320
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 3: this whole thing? Because he was well off and wanted

321
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,320
Speaker 3: to hold on to what he had and not create

322
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,480
Speaker 3: a shared lifestyle. I think maybe he meant that he

323
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,320
Speaker 3: didn't own much and most things actually were under his

324
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,840
Speaker 3: parents name. He felt like he was punching above his

325
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,880
Speaker 3: weight with me and was scared that I would leave him. Ah,

326
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,640
Speaker 3: a little insecared boy. He was afraid that I was

327
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 3: with him because of his finances, since that was the

328
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,720
Speaker 3: only thing that he had more of. Where whereas he

329
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,280
Speaker 3: said that I am intelligent, hardworking, beautiful, blah blah blah.

330
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,720
Speaker 5: Do you think he's being genuine with those compliments.

331
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,360
Speaker 6: I think he's an idiot. Yeah, that's one, because he's

332
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,920
Speaker 6: very insecure and just like he's like, I'm just scared.

333
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,200
Speaker 4: I'm just scared. Bro.

334
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, Oh my god, man.

335
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,120
Speaker 3: I mean like he might be right about that, and

336
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,360
Speaker 3: that could be like brought up in a nice way,

337
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,160
Speaker 3: but it also could be brought up into like, okay,

338
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 3: just trying to get her to stay kind of way.

339
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 6: I don't know that's any relationship, even if you know

340
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,520
Speaker 6: you were poor, that's any relationship. You're taking a dive

341
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 6: and a chance on somebody that you know you want

342
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,640
Speaker 6: to open your life with and trust and continue that

343
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,200
Speaker 6: path exactly.

344
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 3: He was scared about moving forward with the relationship, but

345
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,280
Speaker 3: instead of communicating, he became defensive.

346
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 6: To me.

347
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,520
Speaker 3: It seems like he said and did things because he

348
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,800
Speaker 3: was feeling deeply insecure. He had made a couple of

349
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,280
Speaker 3: passing comments before about me being more beautiful than him,

350
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,480
Speaker 3: or how I'm more hard working, et cetera, et cetera,

351
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,600
Speaker 3: but I had always taken them as compliments, not self

352
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 3: deprecating comments towards himself. He also apologized over and over

353
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 3: about how he didn't mean to make me feel like

354
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,000
Speaker 3: an outsider to him and his parents, and insisted that

355
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 3: he wanted to share a life with me. He said

356
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 3: that his insecurities and fear got the best of him

357
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,040
Speaker 3: and he didn't handle it well. He had taken advantage

358
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,960
Speaker 3: of my patience and lashed out because he felt inadequate

359
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,840
Speaker 3: and scared. It broke my heart because I think all

360
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 3: of this could have been avoided. We've been through this

361
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 3: song and and before many times where he would feel

362
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 3: some sort of way then act out as he's processing it.

363
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,880
Speaker 5: I don't like that that much until now.

364
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,480
Speaker 3: I always stay through it and we move on, but

365
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,280
Speaker 3: it's never gone on for so long. I've pushed him

366
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,240
Speaker 3: to seek individual counseling, and we've attended Kumpele's conseling together,

367
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 3: but I can't force him to sit and identify his

368
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,560
Speaker 3: emotions or employ the tools we were taught. The prenup

369
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,400
Speaker 3: conversation happened over a long period of time. He had

370
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 3: so many chances to pump the brakes and reflect on

371
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,000
Speaker 3: what he was saying and simply just listen to me,

372
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,320
Speaker 3: but he didn't. He then sat in front of me

373
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,880
Speaker 3: saying that everything he said before was not what he meant.

374
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 3: He said he would be happy to take care of

375
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,840
Speaker 3: me and our future kids. We could buy a house

376
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,320
Speaker 3: together or rent if I wanted to, because now he

377
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 3: wasn't scared about creating a life together, completely opposite to

378
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 3: everything he had been saying.

379
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 4: I don't know.

380
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 6: Do you think he's being genuine with I don't everything,

381
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,760
Speaker 6: especially since Opie talked to his parents.

382
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,880
Speaker 5: Oh that's it. Yeah, maybe does he know that he does?

383
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 5: I think he does.

384
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 4: He probably does.

385
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 3: Probably makes sense, dang, yeah, because I mean, at this point,

386
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,160
Speaker 3: I think she like technically already broke up with him,

387
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 3: and then and unless this is like before she called

388
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,879
Speaker 3: it quits, I think so, I.

389
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,719
Speaker 4: Think, I think I don't think they've broken up.

390
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 5: This is like the process. Okay, Yeah, definitely don't get

391
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,120
Speaker 5: married and have kids right away.

392
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 3: Definitely wait for that because if he has like a,

393
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 3: if he has the tendency to like lash out when

394
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 3: he's getting upset and then won't say anything until you

395
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,400
Speaker 3: complain about it.

396
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 6: And to project his insecurities and not yea, come to

397
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,919
Speaker 6: you and talk to them about it about it, but

398
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,959
Speaker 6: like just like, ah, that's very interesting.

399
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not someone you want to like have kids

400
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 3: with when he's hasn't gone through, hasn't like worked on

401
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 3: this yet.

402
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 1: Yeah oh yeah.

403
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,560
Speaker 3: But how unsettling is it that he seems so completely

404
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,080
Speaker 3: comfortable and confident in the hurtful words he previously said

405
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,200
Speaker 3: and was okay with placing me in a very very

406
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,879
Speaker 3: unequal position in the relationship, despite me continuously trying to

407
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 3: articulate what I wanted and how he was making me feel.

408
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,639
Speaker 3: He didn't even consider my side over months. I know

409
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,240
Speaker 3: I have a good deal with what his parents are offering,

410
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 3: and I know him and I get along super well,

411
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 3: but I'm not marrying his parents. I can't have his

412
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 3: mom with us during every argument or life decision we take.

413
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 3: Thinking back, I can count on one hand where we've

414
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 3: run into issues and he was able to address it

415
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,679
Speaker 3: without acting up. He's such a nice guy, but I

416
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 3: can't be his garbage bin every time he needs to

417
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 3: sort out his feelings. It's already worn me down. He's

418
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 3: a grown man, he's intelligent and intuitive. He's had two

419
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 3: years to learn how to communicate with me, and he's not.

420
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 3: I honestly can't tell if what he said to me

421
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,400
Speaker 3: is genuine or coming from his parents, or coming from

422
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,560
Speaker 3: a fear of losing me. I could give him the

423
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 3: benefit of the doubt again, but and move forward with

424
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 3: the relationship as I've done in the past, but I'm tired.

425
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 3: I think this is a fixable problem, but I also

426
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 3: have not seen any improvement since we started dating. If anything,

427
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,679
Speaker 3: this prolonged experience has made me feel it's gotten worse.

428
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 5: I will not.

429
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 3: Make the mistake of investing in a man because of

430
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,959
Speaker 3: what he could be instead of who he is.

431
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,399
Speaker 6: I feel like everything I've said op's like yeah, says

432
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 6: right after which is very funny.

433
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, literally, where was this?

434
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 6: You know when every time I asked you about this,

435
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 6: I had to go to your mom. You're the truth,

436
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 6: and then that's what made you actually tell the truth. Yeah,

437
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 6: that should have never happened in the first place, right, Yeah,

438
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 6: two years of doing this.

439
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 4: I don't know.

440
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 3: Exactly because this isn't their first conversation about it, so

441
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 3: it's not like she brings this problem up at first

442
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 3: and immediately he's like, oh, yeah, I'm sorry, She's brought

443
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 3: this up multiple times.

444
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, and he's like, no, no, no, this is what's gonna be,

445
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 6: like exactly, and like again, like at the beginning, I

446
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 6: was like, oh, I'm trying to get a feel for everything,

447
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 6: and now the full story has come, it just makes

448
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 6: so much more sense. Yeah, you can't change this guy,

449
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,879
Speaker 6: or if you do, it's just like you're kind of

450
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 6: doing like the watching your should watch, watching over your

451
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 6: shoulder kind of thing the entire time because you like,

452
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 6: you don't know, you don't know if it's genuine or not.

453
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 6: It should have been genuine from the very get go,

454
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 6: but it wasn't.

455
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 3: If the last few months are a testament to how

456
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,360
Speaker 3: he handles stressful situations, I can only take things as

457
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: they are and assume they won't change. This whole thing

458
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 3: has left me sour. I can't just unhear and unknow

459
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 3: that he's afraid of a gold digger. That was just

460
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 3: one of many comments that really hurt me. For these reasons,

461
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,679
Speaker 3: I am still choosing to walk away, very different from

462
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 3: leaving because of a prenup, but it is leaving nonetheless,

463
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 3: and to be honest, this hurts more.

464
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 5: I know it will hurt for.

465
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 3: A while, but I pray that I'll be avoiding a

466
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 3: heartache and complications in the future. Who knows if it

467
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 3: was meant to be. Maybe we'll find our way back.

468
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 3: For now, I've told him and his family that I

469
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 3: need space and time. I know that it seems like

470
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,239
Speaker 3: I'm giving up a lot, but of course there are

471
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 3: things that I can't put in a post. Actually wrote

472
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 3: the above quite early, but I didn't post because it

473
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 3: didn't feel like it was over. But now after this time,

474
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 3: I know it is and that is the end of

475
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 3: that story.

476
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 4: Wow. Wow, good on Euop.

477
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 6: You know your value, you know your virtues, and you

478
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 6: know what the like that you want to live. Yeah,

479
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 6: you know you don't want to wait on someone and

480
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 6: you don't want to force someone. If they do it,

481
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 6: they do it genuinely and they do it naturally. Right,

482
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 6: So it's gonna suck for a little bit. But at

483
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 6: least you know what you want and you know what

484
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 6: you want to live with, right, who to live with

485
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 6: and what you want in a part right, So yeah,

486
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 6: that's the best thing.

487
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're going about this in a really really mature

488
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 3: way and really healthy way. So great job on you. Yeah,

489
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 3: this is if he's only two years in and you've

490
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 3: had these problems and he's dealt with it in a.

491
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 5: Not healthy way, in a very mature way, this is

492
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 5: definitely not gonna change.

493
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 6: So just like hey, and I guarantee you did in

494
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 6: the breakup, you're like, this is not gonna work out.

495
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 6: You don't see what I want. And if that's how

496
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 6: you see me, or if you're you're insecure about someone

497
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 6: you know going after your money.

498
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 4: You got some real trust issues.

499
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 6: I mean, it's sure, but it shouldn't like that shouldn't

500
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 6: be like your number one shield. And you know what, bye,

501
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 6: wi you best you? Maybe you maybe go get a

502
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 6: therapist to talk about that. Yeah, reevaluate all that stuff.

503
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:24,360
Speaker 5: Right, and that's that.

504
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 7: I broke things off with my boyfriend. Then he married

505
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 7: her therapist. She must have been pretty good. In twenty seventeen,

506
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 7: I twenty nine to five female, saw a couple's therapists

507
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 7: with my then boyfriend thirty six mail. After three sessions

508
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 7: with her, I refuse to return do to her blatant,

509
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:49,439
Speaker 7: flirtatious behavior and extremely judgmental attitude towards me, which my

510
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 7: boyfriend called me delusional for pointing out. By the way,

511
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 7: this comes from Lemonade days and if you want to

512
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 7: smit your own stories, go to the R.

513
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 1: Side showkay story some I'm subredding.

514
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 7: So she had told me that I seem too immature

515
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 7: and I'm not ready for therapy or a serious relationship.

516
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 7: The whole thing was focused on my ex boyfriend and

517
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 7: his complaints about me. She never asked about my feelings

518
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 7: or perspective in the relationship. We broke up about two

519
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 7: months after the sessions, but I stayed living with my

520
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 7: ex boyfriend until November. Once after I moved out, I

521
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 7: had to return to our old apartment to get the mail,

522
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 7: and that was the first time I saw the therapist

523
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 7: with my ex. Now do you go to therapy, I

524
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 7: should Okay, Keon, do you go to therapy?

525
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 4: I used to?

526
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,679
Speaker 7: In your therapy contract, was there a part where you

527
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 7: could set it you cannot date me until after two

528
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 7: years of not being with sessions with me?

529
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 4: Uh?

530
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 6: I was underage and my therapist was like sixty, So

531
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 6: probably uh.

532
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 2: I think that one's implied. I think that one might

533
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 2: be a little just as implied.

534
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 1: I think from the beginning thing. Okay, sweet old lady.

535
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 1: Anywhere that goes to.

536
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 7: Therapy, is there a clause in your contract that you

537
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 7: guys can't date?

538
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know.

539
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 7: Or if it's an individual and couple's therapy different mmm,

540
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 7: I don't know.

541
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: Anyways, I'm I'm sure with couple's therapy, this is like

542
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 2: a huge deal, like you should never do. Yeah, this

543
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 2: is a big This is probably like a lose your

544
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 2: ability to be a therapist like type scenario.

545
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 7: Yea, not even kidding. They happened to be getting ready

546
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 7: to go out on his motorcycle and they were both

547
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 7: wearing full face motorcycle helmets. But I knew from her

548
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 7: body type and hair that that was her, along with

549
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 7: my instincts which suspected something was going on the whole time,

550
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 7: but nevertheless, I moved on with my life. Just found

551
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 7: out yesterday my ex gotten married due to a friend

552
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 7: telling me.

553
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 1: About a photo he posted on Facebook.

554
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 7: The photo was of him and my ex therapist celebrating their.

555
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: One year wedding anniversary.

556
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 7: Oh, I found her Facebook with the name change, and

557
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 7: sure enough, they got married September of twenty eighteen or earlier.

558
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,439
Speaker 7: That's just when she posted the wedding photos. This was

559
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,719
Speaker 7: less than a year after the breakup with me and

560
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 7: my ex, and barely over a year after our sessions ended.

561
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 7: With her hot take, there was some overlap. Well yeah,

562
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 7: there's overlap. Mean yeah, me he was going first sessions, dude.

563
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 2: They were literally mid couple's counseling session and the therapist

564
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 2: is actively being like, yeah, your partner sucks. She's terrible. Also,

565
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 2: shut up. No one wants to hear your side of

566
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 2: the story. I want to listen to your beautiful boyfriend's story.

567
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:48,120
Speaker 7: I am considering filing a complaint with the American Counseling Association.

568
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,719
Speaker 7: My friends and mental health counselors I know say I

569
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 7: have enough evidence. I'm not upset that my ex moved on,

570
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 7: so I have I think the universe every day that

571
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 7: I'm no longer with that self absorbed person. However, I

572
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 7: feel deeply disturbed to find out he married our therapist,

573
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 7: especially remembering all the harmful stuff she said to me

574
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 7: in the sessions, which, to be honest, really messed with

575
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 7: my head. I fear coming off as a bitter X.

576
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 7: Am I the A hole? Keon Dakota. Is she the

577
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:25,199
Speaker 7: a hole for going through with this? H No, but

578
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 7: love your love? How dare you ruin that you're allowed to?

579
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 7: This is a she said, Ah.

580
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 4: You're an ahole. You ruin their relationship? How dare you

581
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 4: just kidding?

582
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: You're bitter?

583
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 6: Be bitter.

584
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 2: It's okay, I'd be bitter. Who would not be bitter

585
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 2: at this situation. I don't want to come off as

586
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 2: the bitter X. You can be a bitter X right now.

587
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 2: This is insane. He got married to the therapist that

588
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,400
Speaker 2: was slammed dunking on you in your couple's counseling sessions. Yeah,

589
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 2: I'd be bitter, and it's okay to acknowledge that that's

590
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 2: the case.

591
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 7: We got stinking EG update verdict not the A hole

592
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 7: relevant comments. Pill Macon says, Hi, I'm a therapist.

593
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 1: Please report her.

594
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 7: Her behavior is ridiculously unethical, and who knows what else

595
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 7: she has done or if she even should be allowed

596
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 7: to practice. Not the a ole times a million edit.

597
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 7: I gotta say I love this veritable Greek chorus of

598
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 7: therapist showing up the chant report her, report her. We

599
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 7: usually say divorce yeah, but now we're chatting.

600
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 2: Report yeah, report her, and then she'll divorce him.

601
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 1: I don't ever want that. I think they're a good

602
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: match for one another. Yeah.

603
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 6: Maybe she just loses her therapist license and then she

604
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 6: still dates him.

605
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 7: Oh p. If you see this, please don't feel like

606
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 7: you're obligated to report her. You do what you need

607
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 7: to do to find peace, enclosure, all right. Devil's advocate

608
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 7: says the normal rule is no dating patients within twelve

609
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 7: months of the biased encounter. Correct. I'm not sure if

610
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 7: that's lee or just an in house rule.

611
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 6: Uh.

612
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 7: By the looks of it, they just got married after

613
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 7: twelve months, so who knows they actually got dated.

614
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: They don't need a date to get married. Yeah, you

615
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 1: can just skip all that, really.

616
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 7: Uh, Mindy says curious, whose idea was it to go

617
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 7: for therapy and who picked out the therapist, Opie says

618
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 7: him and him. Neon Nie says, oh, any chance this

619
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 7: was happening prior?

620
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: OPI?

621
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 7: I have no idea, but one of my friends suggested

622
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 7: that Nice says again, might be worth looking into, especially

623
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 7: if you paid for the sessions. Opie says, he paid,

624
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 7: He did the scheduling, everything, and never even signed a

625
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 7: consent form.

626
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: I just went with him.

627
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 7: Brown Sugar Bear says, there are red flags flying up

628
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 7: all over the place regarding this therapist practice. You didn't

629
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 7: even sign a form and she was seeing you as

630
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 7: a client. That's not normal at all. Opi says, true,

631
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 7: You're right. I realize that now. At the time I

632
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 7: suspected things were weird, but I was more focused on

633
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 7: just trying to get on with my life. You know,

634
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 7: for all those people saying, well, why did you wait

635
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 7: until now that they are married, we have an update.

636
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: Dude. Why do people wait to plant trees? Because that's

637
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: just the way alive.

638
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 2: Best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.

639
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 2: Second best time this right now. What would be insane

640
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: is if she's not a therapist. So op had nothing

641
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 2: to do with this.

642
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: They Nathan for you it. Yeah, they rehearsed it.

643
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 2: They fake therapist OP and just make OP convince OP,

644
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 2: or just like slam dunk on OP so much that

645
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: OP is like, well now I'm just so miserable I

646
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 2: want out yo.

647
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 7: So so she's not even a therapist and they made

648
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 7: all that up.

649
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: That would be insane and also incredibly criminal, like jail

650
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 2: time criminal.

651
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 1: You could do that, don't. I could do that within

652
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: a day. Don't do that. I could easily do that

653
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: within it. Don't do that updates.

654
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 7: I realize that as the X, it's pretty much impossible

655
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 7: for it not to seem like I'm jealous, petty or bitter,

656
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 7: whatever you want to say. However, it is also impossible

657
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 7: to have sat in those sessions and then see your

658
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 7: therapist and X get married and have zero feelings about him. Yeah, no,

659
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 7: doy regarding of having moved on anyway, I've made my decision.

660
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: What do you guys think? Real quick? Did she she

661
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: file or not file? She gets together with both of

662
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: them and they live happily ever after. Okay, that's a

663
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 1: wild one.

664
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 7: She's going to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Okay, Well that wasn't helpful.

665
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 7: I believe she filed it. Thanks guys at it again updates.

666
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 7: So one of my friends has basically taking it upon

667
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 7: herself to investigate this therapist.

668
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: I swear she should be in the FBI.

669
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 8: Lol.

670
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 7: She found out that this is the third last name

671
00:30:54,920 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 7: that this woman has practiced psychotherapy with no way under

672
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 7: the first last name. In twenty fourteen, she was charged

673
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 7: with a dui slash property damage. She also comes up

674
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 7: on health grades with five one star reviews and an

675
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 7: overall three star rating. Essentially, what this new information does

676
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 7: for me is to confirm that she's been a crappy

677
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 7: human being with crappy morals for quite some time. There

678
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 7: is no way this is the first time she has

679
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 7: caused undue harm to a client. Therefore, I can say

680
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 7: with certainty, I am reporting.

681
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: The third last name.

682
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: That's yeah, she's literally like on the run. It sounds

683
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 2: that's the vibe is she's she's on the lamb. She's

684
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 2: on the lookout for Johnny Law because they've been looking

685
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: for her. Well, yeah, yeah, clearly report and she should

686
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 2: never be This is not someone who should be practicing

687
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 2: like that's crazy.

688
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 7: Well, the comment the dress pirate Jeff says, not the Ahle. Ordinarily,

689
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 7: I'd suggest This is pretty petty. Happens in relationships that

690
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 7: go south. Blah blah blah blah blah. However, in this instance,

691
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 7: there's a very good chance that someone that went to

692
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 7: for counseling took advantage of your vulnerabilities and used them

693
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 7: to manipulate you for her own gain. I'd say go

694
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 7: for it and report that crap high and wide. That

695
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 7: said you know what kind of guy your exes and

696
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,479
Speaker 7: now she's stuck with him, So there's at least some

697
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 7: justice in that.

698
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: Opie says, thank you.

699
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 7: Yes, Like I said, if he's married anyone else, I

700
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 7: literally would not care very happy to not be with him.

701
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 7: My concern is her professional conduct. At the time, it

702
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 7: was very rough for me to watch them flirt in

703
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 7: those sessions and team up against me. Now I see

704
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 7: that they are perfect for each other, but you should

705
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 7: not be a therapist. Xeno Crate says, this is very

706
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 7: rare to be presented with the opportunity to screw over

707
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 7: your ex while doing the morally right thing. You have

708
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 7: been given that opportunity, don't squander it. And moisture than

709
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 7: an Oyster.

710
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 9: Says, that's a wild name. I'm sorry, what does he

711
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 9: have that is so special. I mean for her to

712
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 9: even be interested than risk her career. Ope, he says,

713
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 9: that's a great question. All I know is that he

714
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 9: pursued me with passion when I was twenty two, offering

715
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 9: all the safety and security I craved. At the time,

716
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 9: he was going through divorce, and I naively believed all

717
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 9: the crap he fed to me. He made me feel

718
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 9: like I was an angel sent from the heavens to

719
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 9: rescue him. But then I couldn't keep up with his

720
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 9: unrealistic standards as I faced struggles that many early twenty something.

721
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: Year olds deal with.

722
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 7: Is Holier than Thou attitude chipped away at my self esteem.

723
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 7: On more than one occasion, he told me that no

724
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 7: man will ever love me again or want to put

725
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 7: up with me. Then he went to therapy with this woman,

726
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 7: confirmed that I was indeed a pos I never felt

727
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 7: so low. He's a master psychological manipulator, and final I

728
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 7: knew it. And final comment from Opie definitely a huge

729
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 7: thank you to all the therapists showing up to support me,

730
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 7: and also thank you for adding the last bit. I

731
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,439
Speaker 7: just updated the post with the new information. This woman

732
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 7: should not be a therapist. I hope that she really

733
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 7: did find true love for my ex and that it

734
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 7: will be worth it for her. I really I do.

735
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 7: But she should not be trusted by another vulnerable person

736
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 7: ever again.

737
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: And that's it.

738
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, she shouldn't be trusted by any vulnerable people.

739
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: Nope.

740
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: Uh, she's a dirty scoundrel therapist. Yeah, and that's not

741
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 2: something I ascribe to all therapists.

742
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,439
Speaker 1: No, if you're a therapist, right know, let us know.

743
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 2: If you're doing a dirty s She was a dirty

744
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:54,240
Speaker 2: scoundrel therapist. Yeah, this one not so fun to be around.

745
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 2: But that was a wild one. Hey, it's Sean here,

746
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 2: og host of the show. We're gonna get back to

747
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 2: these juicy stories. But here's a quick three minutes of

748
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 2: ads for sponsors. My boyfriend received a love letter from

749
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,320
Speaker 2: his childhood friend.

750
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 7: It disturbed me. Was that the kind of love letter

751
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 7: with pictures?

752
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 2: Ooh, my boyfriend and I are in our mid twenties

753
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 2: and we've been together for almost four years. He recently

754
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 2: received an extremely long and emotional love letter from his

755
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: childhood friend, who he considered his best friend. A girl

756
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: he was very close with in middle school. Not a

757
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 2: girl from six to eighth grade.

758
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,720
Speaker 1: Ell. They remained in contact.

759
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 2: For a few years, even after school, but eventually drifted

760
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 2: apart and hadn't spoken in about five to six years.

761
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a user Silly Sleuth,

762
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

763
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime sub reddit. So last year,

764
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: she briefly reached out to him after seeing one of

765
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 2: his gym selfie's on his story.

766
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: So he's hot.

767
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 2: They had a short and casual conversation about life, and

768
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 2: she mentioned being.

769
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: Married at the time. Oh good for her.

770
00:35:58,680 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 4: Cool.

771
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I have this marriage. I don't care

772
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: about it. I'd drop it for you.

773
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 2: I had a small gut feeling that she might have

774
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 2: really liked him or was hoping to rekindle something, especially

775
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 2: since she viewed his story twice, but I didn't say

776
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 2: anything because there wasn't much to go off of at

777
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 2: the time, and he reassured me that they were just

778
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: really close friends back then.

779
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 7: It's wise, ope, stop to a detective work. You're looking

780
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 7: bad right now, girl.

781
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Out of respect for me, my boyfriend didn't keep

782
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 2: the conversation going, which I very much admired and appreciate.

783
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 1: Fast forward to two days ago, she.

784
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: Randomly sent him an extremely long, deeply emotional message, something

785
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 2: he didn't expect. He was very honest with me and

786
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 2: read the whole message out loud, and it turned out

787
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 2: to be a raw love confession where she called him

788
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 2: her twin flame, said she loved him from the bottom

789
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 2: of her heart and believed that they are meant to

790
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 2: be together, and mentioned many memories that they shared and

791
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 2: how those were the happiest moments of her life and

792
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: how simple life was back then the.

793
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:03,720
Speaker 1: First love theory.

794
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 2: She then mentioned she wanted to name her future son

795
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 2: after him and hope they could reconnect and meet up

796
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 2: and explore something romantic. Before he read the letter, my

797
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 2: boyfriend casually mentioned he wouldn't mind staying in touch with

798
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 2: her every now and then, and at that point I

799
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: had no issue. I respected their past, but after hearing

800
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 2: the depth of what she wrote, I told him it

801
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,720
Speaker 2: would now make me uncomfortable.

802
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 1: If they stayed in contact.

803
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 2: He told me he wanted to give her respectful closure

804
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 2: because he didn't feel comfortable leaving her on open, which

805
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 2: I agreed with and had no problem with. He wanted

806
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 2: to update her on his life, including that he's in

807
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 2: a relationship with me. I suggested that I would like

808
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 2: him to give her the closure or whatever he needed

809
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 2: to say, and then close that chapter. Not because I

810
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 2: don't trust him, but because I felt her message crossed

811
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 2: a boundary and she made her intentions very clear. After

812
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 2: sending the letter, she also found his work number, which

813
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 2: he uses strictly for business and as an immergent urgency

814
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 2: contact for his family and I. She texted him there.

815
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 2: At first, he responded, thinking it was a new client

816
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,439
Speaker 2: for a job. I thought the message was a little

817
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 2: odd since they didn't introduce themselves, but he brushed it

818
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 2: off as his clients tend to be old, so they

819
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,720
Speaker 2: sometimes forget to do that. So he proceeded to introduce

820
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,280
Speaker 2: himself professionally with his company name as usual.

821
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: But then she replied.

822
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 2: Saying it was her and made a flirty joke like

823
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 2: you're hirer, and then out of nowhere, sent him her

824
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 2: home address.

825
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: Nice. You get one target per life? Okay? What you have?

826
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 7: One bullseye you stick with? You can't read bulls eyes everywhere?

827
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,720
Speaker 7: The bulls eye the bullseye is getting married.

828
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 1: You only got one. I don't know.

829
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 2: I think life is so complicated. Maybe you'd maybe you

830
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 2: have multiple soulmates. There's billions of us. Riley, Wow, there's

831
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,479
Speaker 2: billions of us. He brushed it off as a joke

832
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 2: because of the context, but I told him that regardless,

833
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 2: it made me very uncomfortable.

834
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: I was accusing him of anything.

835
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,320
Speaker 2: I just didn't want another woman's address sitting in his phone,

836
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: especially one who clearly still has strong feelings and sent

837
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 2: it after confessing her love to him. I asked him

838
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: to please delete her address because it didn't sit right

839
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: with me, and that's when he got defensive. He asked

840
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: if I was jealous or if I didn't trust him,

841
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 2: and kept repeating how he hasn't done anything wrong and

842
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 2: how unbelievable it was that I'd even feel this way

843
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 2: when he was being honest and open with me from

844
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,320
Speaker 2: the start. I tried to explain that it had nothing

845
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 2: to do with trust, and I trust him with my life,

846
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 2: but that this situation made me deeply uncomfortable, and I

847
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: didn't like the thought of her address being stored in

848
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 2: his phone, especially in his work texts, and that kind

849
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: of energy lingering around. You almost had me there, but

850
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: now I still think you are see it is much insecure.

851
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: It makes sense.

852
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 2: I wish that you would have just been like, I'm

853
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 2: just standing on business as like, I don't like this

854
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 2: woman who obviously is into you, has nothing to do

855
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 2: with you. I don't like her, so I don't want

856
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: her address in your phone because I don't like her.

857
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: That's it. I like that explanation a lot. I agree

858
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 1: with that.

859
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,840
Speaker 2: I tried to explain. I'm a very spiritual person. I

860
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 2: moved through life based on energy, and I didn't want

861
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 2: that kind of energy or invitation lingering in our relationship.

862
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 2: I even reminded him that when we got serious, I

863
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 2: chose to remove all of the close guy friends from

864
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 2: my phone, not because he ever asked me to, but

865
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: because I wanted to.

866
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: Sounds like you did that yourself. Yeah.

867
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 7: Also, I don't like that because if they weren't a threat,

868
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 7: there's no reason to remove them from your phone.

869
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, are they were a threat? Think good.

870
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 2: You're allowed to have boys who are your friends who

871
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 2: aren't your boyfriend out of love and respect for him.

872
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 2: I no longer wanted any male energy in my life

873
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: that didn't serve my relationship or my future. The only

874
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 2: men in my phone are now are him and my

875
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 2: family and relatives.

876
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 1: I also wasn't demanding anything.

877
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 2: I tried to explain that I just wanted to be understood,

878
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 2: but he kept saying he didn't understand what I was

879
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 2: trying to say, and what point I was trying to make,

880
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 2: or why I was bringing it up when he felt

881
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 2: he had done nothing wrong. He said I was doing

882
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 2: too much, insinuated as jealousy and making it seem like

883
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 2: I didn't trust him, and that I was making him

884
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 2: anxious to the point where he no longer wanted to

885
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: talk about it. He told me he had no idea

886
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 2: she felt that way, or that she would go as

887
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 2: far as slipping her address to his work number, which

888
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 2: I completely understand. I tried to reassure him that I

889
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 2: wasn't upset with him at all, and that I'm actually

890
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 2: very thankful he's been so open and included me in everything.

891
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 1: But I also needed him to understand that I'm.

892
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 2: Still allowed to feel deeply hurt and disturbed by the letter,

893
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 2: and that what I was feeling was valid. Still, he

894
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 2: seemed confused by my reaction. He didn't think I had

895
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 2: a reason to feel the way I did, and felt

896
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be hurt at all, especially since he was

897
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 2: being honest and transparent with me.

898
00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 1: I kind of agree with that.

899
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 2: Why are you why are you so hurt that just

900
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 2: another woman has feelings for your husband?

901
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: Why does that deeply, deeply hurt you?

902
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 2: Because he's your husband and he clearly has zero interest

903
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 2: in this other person, So why are you so hurt

904
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 2: by this?

905
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 1: I am genuinely I just I don't understand.

906
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 2: It eventually turned into a huge argument that took a

907
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: completely different turn. It wasn't even about the girl anymore.

908
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 2: It became about how he was responding to me. His

909
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: tone shifted, and instead of being understanding, he got emotionally

910
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: distant and said things like I was trying to be

911
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 2: a good effing person by wanting to respond respectively, but

912
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 2: ef this, Now, I'll just block her.

913
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 1: I never even mentioned blocking her. I never asked for that.

914
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 2: All I wanted was confirmation that he would send her closure,

915
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,240
Speaker 2: be respectful, and then close the chapter with her fully

916
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 2: and move on. And most of all, I wanted my

917
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 2: pain and what I was feeling in that moment to

918
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 2: be acknowledged. The letter made me cry, not because I

919
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 2: doubted him, ever, but because it was heartbreaking to read

920
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 2: another woman romanticizing such a deep sacred connection with the

921
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 2: man I love you need. That's that's not normal. I

922
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 2: don't think is that normal. It shouldn't be like, oh

923
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 2: my god, my soul is being sliced. It should be

924
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 2: like a who does she think she is? What if I.

925
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: Gave you this?

926
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 7: Like if I gave Angie the love letters I got

927
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 7: during high school and stuff, she'd probably feel hurt. Really yeah,

928
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 7: someone confessing their love for me.

929
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 2: But it's like that's even a further step remove. That's

930
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 2: like a letter from six years ago. Seven years ago.

931
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to read a letter if someone wrote

932
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: to her that would hurt.

933
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 4: I don't know.

934
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: I read Carly's x's letters like they already broke up.

935
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.

936
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 2: Now. If this was Brad Pitt sending a love letter

937
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 2: put that, I'm like, all right, we got to talk, uh,

938
00:43:55,520 --> 00:44:00,400
Speaker 2: you know whatever, Like it's like it's yeah, and I honestly,

939
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 2: I'm probably gonna catch a lot of flak for like, like, uh,

940
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: seeing the boyfriend's perspective of being like, god, I'm so done,

941
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 2: I'm just blocking blocker Meelu says, I read.

942
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: A girl saying that to my ex.

943
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 6: It was so cutting yeah, but it just yeah, it depends.

944
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 6: It's like overall, that's really bad, Like it's it's not fun.

945
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 6: I'm you're built different. We're all built different. Yeah, we

946
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 6: are all built out.

947
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 2: Why I'm not I'm not being like I'm genuinely curious.

948
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm not being like, what that's wrong. I'm just being like,

949
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: do we cause I gotta fee I think I would.

950
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,400
Speaker 1: It would be funny to me.

951
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh, okay, okay, she's gonna take my husband.

952
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: Okay, there's no competition. You're good, opie. Yeah.

953
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: The things she wrote, like wanting to name her son

954
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 2: after him, genuinely disturbed me. I didn't appreciate that at all,

955
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 2: and I felt like he downplayed it by saying it

956
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 2: wasn't a big deal, it didn't bother him, and another

957
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,919
Speaker 2: girl in his past had done or said the same thing,

958
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 2: and that he didn't care. He he said he just

959
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 2: wanted to tell her he's happy now, has a good

960
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: job where he's the boss, and is in a loving

961
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 2: relationship with me, which I was completely fine with. But

962
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,320
Speaker 2: none of that changed the fact that I still felt

963
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 2: deeply hurt and emotional, not at him, but at the

964
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 2: whole situation, especially at the idea of someone else believing

965
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 2: they're meant to be with the person I see as

966
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 2: my soulmate.

967
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 1: So I'm asking was I wrong to feel the way

968
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 1: I felt?

969
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 2: I feel like that's the wrong question, because of course you,

970
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 2: however you felt, is the way you felt.

971
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: It's not really a right or wrong.

972
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 2: It's just about how you go about sort of digesting

973
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: it and then like explaining it.

974
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,359
Speaker 1: To your partner. Emotions coming waves is how you ride them.

975
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,280
Speaker 1: There you go perfect exactly.

976
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 2: I'm not looking to control anyone, and I truly appreciate

977
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 2: that he was honest, but I can't shake how deeply

978
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 2: uncomfortable it made me feel, not out of fear or jealousy,

979
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 2: but because of how sacred I see my relationship with him.

980
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 2: Number One, you're overreacting. Your feelings are valid. Your actions

981
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 2: could have been better. She's obviously super out of line

982
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 2: and has some serious issues going on. The twin flame

983
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 2: thing is a dog whistle for some weird crap. She's

984
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 2: in a relationship, he's in a relationship. The entire letter

985
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 2: and contacting him on his work line was incredibly inappropriate,

986
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 2: full stop. It sounded like you guys ultimately wanted the

987
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 2: same thing. He said he wanted to respond respectfully you

988
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 2: said you wanted the same thing, But at some point

989
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 2: he felt so pushed that he felt like what you

990
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 2: actually wanted was to have her be blocked. There is

991
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 2: some missing reasons here. How wound up and upset were

992
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 2: you over this? He didn't do anything to invite this.

993
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 2: You were allowed to be upset, But ultimately he was

994
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 2: the one that had the greatest.

995
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: Level of violation.

996
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 2: She low key stalked him, and I think if the

997
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 2: genders were reversed, we would be calling it that. Honestly,

998
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 2: you should be supporting him and centering his feelings, not yours.

999
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 2: Once you guys had dealt with the issue in the

1000
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 2: moment and decided what to do later, you could have

1001
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 2: talked later. You could have asked him to hold space

1002
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 2: for your feelings. You could have called and talked to

1003
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 2: your friends and gotten support for your very legitimate feelings

1004
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 2: and not made him feel like he had to deal

1005
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 2: with this violation as well as your hurt feelings about it.

1006
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 1: Frankly, there's some codependency vibes here.

1007
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 2: You deleting your male friends was a weird choice unless

1008
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 2: you were only friends with them to potentially date them

1009
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 2: in the future. You shouldn't lose your identity when you

1010
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 2: enter into a relationship.

1011
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: And friends are a part of that. Agreed.

1012
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 2: I'm really liking this comment. I didn't think I would

1013
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 2: at the beginning, but I like it overall. It really

1014
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,280
Speaker 2: seems like you were making this about you when it isn't.

1015
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 2: You got disrespected, but he had a childhood friend violate

1016
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 2: his trust. This was not the time to make a

1017
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 2: big deal about how sacred your relationship is. You should

1018
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 2: have just been there for him and dealt with your

1019
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 2: feelings later. A reply to this says she did low

1020
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 2: key stalk him, so why would he want to keep

1021
00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 2: in touch with her?

1022
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 1: He doesn't. Who's going to cut her.

1023
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,720
Speaker 2: Off and naming her on board kid after him after

1024
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 2: finding his work number?

1025
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 1: How is op overreacting to that reply?

1026
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 2: Op is freaking out rather than supporting him, basically blaming

1027
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 2: him for his friend's craziness. Dang, and then it ends.

1028
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 2: I thought we'd at least have another comment. No, it

1029
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 2: feels about right now.

1030
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 7: I saw a comment earlier that we're like getting down

1031
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,240
Speaker 7: on the skull because of her energy.

1032
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 1: I am not.

1033
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 7: I see where she's coming out with this energy. That's

1034
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 7: her way of thinking and processing things. As that person's partner,

1035
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 7: you got to respect that. There are some of us

1036
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 7: that have had bad issues with energies that have explained

1037
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 7: their train of thought, which makes sense where their training

1038
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 7: of gotic is coming from.

1039
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 4: Now.

1040
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 7: I just think she's worried this a little differently and

1041
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 7: is putting her anger and jealousy in the wrong direction.

1042
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 7: And I feel like she's very close to putting it

1043
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 7: in the right direction, and a little bit of writing

1044
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 7: stuff down on a piece of paper could fix it.

1045
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: That's my old conclusion.

1046
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 2: It came down to just like less, Uh, you were

1047
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 2: in a high concept area.

1048
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: You were in high concepts territory.

1049
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 2: You need to bring it low concept and say I'm

1050
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,240
Speaker 2: standing on business boom.

1051
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: That's all you needed to say. Yeah, Sam, here, we're

1052
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 1: gonna get back to the stories. But here's three of

1053
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: it's bad from our sponsors.

1054
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 7: I made my boyfriend shoes between me for his toxic

1055
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:24,800
Speaker 7: best friend.

1056
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 1: I sure hope he chose you for context.

1057
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 7: I twenty female and my boyfriend twenty mail had basically

1058
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 7: the perfect relationship. We started our senior year of high

1059
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:40,240
Speaker 7: school and we were the couple everyone would say would

1060
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 7: make it into marriage. I trusted him blindly and never

1061
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 7: gave him a reason not to trust me. By the way,

1062
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 7: this comes from real tiny mixture and if you want

1063
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,800
Speaker 7: to submit your own stories, go to the r side Showcase

1064
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 7: story Time subreddit. So up until around six months into

1065
00:49:55,160 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 7: our relationship, I caught him watching adult video. I understand

1066
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 7: that not everyone has his boundary, but for me, this

1067
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 7: is definitely a deal breaker. So I asked him to

1068
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 7: either stop or he couldn't for us dean to end

1069
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:15,439
Speaker 7: the relationship. He explained he didn't know that I wasn't

1070
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 7: okay with it and promised to stop immediately.

1071
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: Again.

1072
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 7: I blindly gave him my full trust and just figured

1073
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 7: he would keep his word. Around six months after that,

1074
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 7: I caught him watching it again. I felt so disgusted

1075
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 7: to be with such a lustful man, but also I

1076
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 7: felt so disgusted with myself. At this point, I was

1077
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 7: ready to end the relationship because he completely broke my

1078
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 7: trust in self image. He begged me to stay and

1079
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 7: promised he would stop once again. I took him back,

1080
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 7: but with the condition. I told him I would have

1081
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 7: to be able to check his phone whenever I wanted.

1082
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 7: He agreed immediately and promised he would do everything in

1083
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,839
Speaker 7: his power to earn back my trust. We didn't know

1084
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 7: it back then, but this is where I would start

1085
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 7: to become extremely insecure about my looks. After reading a

1086
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 7: little bit of the story, I know this girl is

1087
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 7: a Christian girl, goes to church every Sunday, goes to

1088
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 7: youth youth Sundays on Wednesdays.

1089
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,280
Speaker 1: This makes sense.

1090
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 7: I know couples that if they watch adult videos they

1091
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 7: would break off the relationship because they see it as cheating.

1092
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 1: Makes sense.

1093
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 7: You know you're looking at another woman lustfully, the promising thing.

1094
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 7: If it doesn't work for me one time, sham on

1095
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 7: you for me twice. It's sort of that at a point,

1096
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 7: you gotta, yeah, put it away, You gotta, you know,

1097
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 7: bring up.

1098
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 2: If you've got hard limits where it's like, if this happens,

1099
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 2: it's unacceptable, then then that's what they are.

1100
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1101
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 7: Fast forward about another six months. We had a big

1102
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 7: argument about something petty. He didn't text me the whole night,

1103
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 7: and I figured he needed space. The day after that,

1104
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,720
Speaker 7: we talked through it and we were spending the day together.

1105
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 7: He gets a text from his brother asking for gas money.

1106
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,879
Speaker 7: The share car He told me to text him back

1107
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 7: that I that it wasn't fair for my boyfriend to

1108
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 7: keep filling up the tank when his brother uses the

1109
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 7: car the most. His brother texted back saying fifteen dollars

1110
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 7: doesn't cover going to a Wraith. At this point, I

1111
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 7: was confused and asked what Raith and his brother explains

1112
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:28,280
Speaker 7: the one you went to last night with your friend Bob.

1113
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,280
Speaker 7: Now we're getting into more of an issue of lying

1114
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 7: and not being truthful.

1115
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 1: Where's Bobby? Where's Bob at? Or did Bobby? Yeah?

1116
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 7: You said it Bobby, bad Bobby Bobby.

1117
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: But it's like, hey, Wybbie lying, do you mean to lie? M?

1118
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 1: Why we lying? Whyby lying? What's going on here?

1119
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 7: At this point I was so confused, but decided to

1120
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 7: go through his phone and found deleted text messaging of

1121
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 7: him saying my girl is mad at me Ryan now,

1122
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 7: but I'm thinking I only live once and Bob egging

1123
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 7: him on to go. I wanted to give him the

1124
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:10,280
Speaker 7: benefit of the doubt, so I asked him to explain himself.

1125
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 7: And we know, as a twenty year old guy, he's

1126
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 7: going to be truthful and tell you what actually happened,

1127
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 7: right right, Fellas he just said he just needed a

1128
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,359
Speaker 7: night with his friends after our argument, and that they

1129
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 7: invited him to a rave but he didn't really want

1130
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 7: to go, but that's why they wanted to do it,

1131
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 7: and he just started along. He also said he didn't

1132
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 7: even want to go inside, nor did substances or booze.

1133
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 7: And the reason why I didn't see his location move

1134
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 7: is because he left his phone at his house so

1135
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 7: I wouldn't find out. He's been a little truthful here.

1136
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 7: I've never stopped him from going out with his friends.

1137
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 7: The only thing I ever asked him for is to

1138
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 7: communicate with me, so this was completely out of character

1139
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 7: for him. Later on, his friend sent me pictures of

1140
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 7: their night going out and you can clearly see him drinking.

1141
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 1: Oh boy, girl, break up. He's just lying. You can't

1142
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: keep him for his word.

1143
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 2: What about it? What if it's a topo Chico? Oh looky.

1144
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 2: What if it's a sparkling water.

1145
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 7: What if it's a root beer? Could be anything a

1146
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 7: sparkling water, yes, exactly. At this point, I had no

1147
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 7: trust in him at all and realistically didn't know what

1148
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 7: truth to believe.

1149
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 1: I told him I wanted to break up, but once

1150
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: again he begged me to stay. I was confused and

1151
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: really wanted to work it out, so.

1152
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 7: Once again I decided to forgive them under the conditions

1153
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 7: that he would only hang out with Bob when the

1154
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 7: sun is up and I have access to his screen

1155
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 7: time so I could see if he decides to leave

1156
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 7: his phone again.

1157
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 4: That sounds healthy.

1158
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 2: Guys, everyone shut up break up with each other, but

1159
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 2: this is what is wrong with you people.

1160
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 7: The boyfriend was hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed.

1161
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 1: I had way more.

1162
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 7: Trust issues now, and I would check his phone constantly

1163
00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 7: without him knowing.

1164
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: I began being extremely insecure.

1165
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 7: About three months after this, I found texts on his

1166
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 7: phone of Bob saying he just broke up with his

1167
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:10,360
Speaker 7: girlfriend and trying to convince my boyfriend to go to

1168
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:15,479
Speaker 7: another rave and to take substances. When confronted, he said

1169
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 7: he wanted to take me along this time and was

1170
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 7: planning on asking Bob.

1171
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 1: I told him I wasn't okay.

1172
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 7: With him hanging out with his Bob if Bob was

1173
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 7: going to be such a bad influence, and Bob already

1174
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 7: knew I wasn't okay with my boyfriend going out to raves,

1175
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 7: but still try to convince him. At first, I wanted

1176
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 7: him to cut Bob off completely, but after some thought,

1177
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 7: I decided I didn't want him to hang out with

1178
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 7: Bob until Bob was clean. After some back and forth,

1179
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 7: he agreed once again. About a month ago, I went

1180
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 7: to a church retreat to try and find my peace,

1181
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 7: and I really did. It was Bob's birthday and I

1182
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 7: had no idea. But my boyfriend was supposed to pick

1183
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,280
Speaker 7: me up after the retreat, but it ended up ditching

1184
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 7: me to go to the each with Bob and his

1185
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 7: new girlfriends slash friends. I was so at peace that

1186
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 7: I didn't even get mad. I explained my disappointment and

1187
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 7: carry it on with my day. Once my boyfriend got back,

1188
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 7: I explained he broke my boundary and that I wanted.

1189
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 1: To break up.

1190
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 7: Okay, all right, but you have to break the cycle,

1191
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 7: because what is the boyfriend about to do?

1192
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: Dakota, No, please no with me? No, tell him no, No,

1193
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 1: We're done. Yeah, and you'll both be happier for it. Yeah.

1194
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 1: You both need a different change of vibes here, dude,

1195
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 1: let the boy live. Yeah, and you need to live,

1196
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 1: breathe you need to live too.

1197
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 7: She's constantly suffocating herself worrying about this guy.

1198
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 1: And you don't need to be worrying about a guy.

1199
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,880
Speaker 7: You'd be a little worrying about your ladyship with the

1200
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 7: Lord and Savior Jesus Grass that is her mo right here.

1201
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you'll you can find someone with the same

1202
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 2: values as you.

1203
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: I just can. You could go to a Christian university

1204
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,399
Speaker 1: and get married by spring. Yeah, it's just a guy.

1205
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:02,839
Speaker 1: It's just not this guy.

1206
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 7: After some more back and forth, we decided to stay

1207
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 7: together under the condition another condition, that he once again

1208
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:15,839
Speaker 7: would to see Bob until he was clean, and that

1209
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 7: if he did want to hang out with Bob, I

1210
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,240
Speaker 7: would have to be there.

1211
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: Okay, So this, oh my gosh, this right.

1212
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: Here is exactly why earlier when I was like, I

1213
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 2: don't know if I agree with you being like, there's

1214
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 2: only one you get one shot, and it's because it

1215
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 2: causes stuff like that, that idea causes these kinds of situations,

1216
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: why else they would be like, oh, but but if

1217
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 2: we break up, then we've we lose, we messed it up,

1218
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:40,200
Speaker 2: we failed.

1219
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 8: And then it's ruined forever and our lives will never

1220
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 8: be the right. And it's like or or you go

1221
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 8: find another homo sapien. You go find another primate yep

1222
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 8: to vibe with. There's a lot of nice guys out there.

1223
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 8: They're probably working at a car shop, a sawmill, or

1224
00:57:58,760 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 8: you know.

1225
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 7: Or a podcast. Four podcasts, the hardest work of all

1226
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 7: right here. The day after we decided this, my boyfriend

1227
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 7: took me to a store and broke up with me.

1228
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 7: He said I was too controlling and was angry at

1229
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 7: me for making me pick between me or Bob. Someone

1230
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 7: had to do it, shocking, Someone had to do it, shocked.

1231
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 1: He told me he hated me.

1232
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 7: Oh, that I ruined his life because he doesn't get

1233
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 7: to see his friends after dark, and he has a

1234
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 7: rocky relationship with his family.

1235
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 1: I was so.

1236
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 7: Confused because I'm the one who made him start respecting

1237
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 7: his mom and telling him to get closer with her

1238
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,320
Speaker 7: and his siblings. I made him try to plan hangouts

1239
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 7: with the siblings and even told him to.

1240
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: Forgive his dad.

1241
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 7: So for me be the cause of this rocky relationship

1242
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 7: with him baffled me. Not only that, but I never

1243
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 7: made him stop hanging out with his other friends.

1244
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 1: Just Bob after dark. Girl, You were controlling.

1245
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 7: You gotta see that, yeah, he said, he didn't want

1246
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 7: to break up because he loved me, that he needed

1247
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 7: time to grow, so you should take a break and

1248
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 7: get back together in three years.

1249
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Oh fine, yeah, let's do that. Oh

1250
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:11,480
Speaker 1: my god. I was honestly at a loss for words,

1251
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:17,920
Speaker 1: but agreed. What is this? People? We gotta think for ourselves.

1252
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 1: What are we doing here?

1253
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,880
Speaker 2: Who's are there any thoughts as anyone had a thought

1254
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 2: this entire story?

1255
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 7: Wait wait, wait, wait, dude, you're gonna love this part.

1256
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 7: After a week of this, he asked me to get

1257
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 7: back together, and once again I agreed because I realized

1258
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 7: he was generally my first love and I couldn't imagine

1259
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:34,439
Speaker 7: my life without him.

1260
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 2: Man, you had how many when you had one hundred

1261
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 2: and fifty five weeks to go before three years? And

1262
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 2: you then you said, well, well we'll get back together now?

1263
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 2: Good mathod good enough? Like what you guys? You guys,

1264
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 2: what is happening? Stop it?

1265
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:55,720
Speaker 7: Fast forward to two days ago, he asked me hang

1266
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 7: out with Bob, and I reminded him of our boundary.

1267
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 7: I thought that they broke up and got back together,

1268
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 7: the were no budders. He told me he wouldn't go

1269
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 7: with him, who would just spend a day with himself.

1270
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 7: His location didn't show him going to Bob's house, so

1271
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 7: I figured he.

1272
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 1: Was down on the drug God and you're still location

1273
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:13,960
Speaker 1: stocking him.

1274
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 7: Later on, he came by my house to talk about

1275
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,760
Speaker 7: the boundary with Bob, and I told him I wouldn't

1276
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 7: be okay with it until he's clean, and asked if

1277
01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 7: he was clean. My boyfriend said no, but that he

1278
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 7: mostly did it at parties or raves. I told him

1279
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 7: I was sorry, but I couldn't have peace of mind

1280
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 7: knowing Bob to put my boyfriend in that position.

1281
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 1: He said okay.

1282
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 7: I was about to leave and my dad came into

1283
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 7: my room, asking if I can go to the bank

1284
01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 7: for him. I asked my boyfriend if you could take me,

1285
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 7: and he agreed, so he got in his car and

1286
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 7: drove to the bank. Keep in mind, as soon as

1287
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 7: I got into his car, I noticed a weird smell,

1288
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 7: and my boyfriend had been acting extremely strange throughout our

1289
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:58,680
Speaker 7: whole interaction. Finally we get to the bank, I noticed

1290
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 7: a receipt on my seat from my boyfriend's favorite fast

1291
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 7: food place. I don't know if it was intuition, but

1292
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 7: something told me to look at it.

1293
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 1: It's a holy ghost.

1294
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 7: I noticed it was something my boyfriend usually never order.

1295
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 1: At the top of the receipt, this woman is would

1296
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: exhaust me.

1297
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1298
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 1: Written in big letters was his name, Bob. I wanna

1299
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 1: can I are there? Can someone send in.

1300
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:30,479
Speaker 2: A pair of like fake eyeballs that I can roll

1301
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:33,640
Speaker 2: on the floor, Like when this kind of stuff happens,

1302
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 2: I need eyeballs to roll.

1303
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 1: It was I can't just roll mine by.

1304
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 2: Bob Oh. It was bob Oh. You can't hang out

1305
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 2: with Bob. You ordered a double cheeseburger if you have

1306
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 2: any idea the stress that puts.

1307
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 7: On your She looked at the receipt and it was

1308
01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 7: nine twenty nine pm, after dark hours. Even if it

1309
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 7: was the latest thing in summer, it was after dark cowards,

1310
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 7: Opie says. I immediately freaked out. I asked him, why

1311
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 7: lie to me? He said, because I'm being so controlling.

1312
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 1: And never let him do anything. Why do you lie

1313
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 1: to me? Because you're so good trolley, I can't do anything.

1314
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 7: I was completely done and couldn't believe how much I

1315
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 7: endured to keep him happy. I built the strength and

1316
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:31,439
Speaker 7: told him I was.

1317
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 1: Breaking up with this God.

1318
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 7: I walked into a Walgreens nearby that was still open,

1319
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 7: and just kept telling him to leave me alone because

1320
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 7: we were key on when would if you have left

1321
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 7: this relationship you're the Opie.

1322
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:49,120
Speaker 6: Oh my god, he as someone who constantly goes out

1323
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 6: and gets into delinkuid stuff, especially as a teenager.

1324
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 4: If my partner did that, I would have laughed a

1325
01:02:57,960 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 4: long time ago.

1326
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 1: I don't know why this guy is still with op.

1327
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, he would have gone. She would have been like,

1328
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:05,439
Speaker 2: you can see Bob, but not after dark. He would

1329
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 2: have gone because like, guess what I'm doing tonight? Bye.

1330
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: Couldn't gonna hang out with Bob now because guy talk.

1331
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 7: If she's a Christian girl, I don't know what Opie

1332
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,480
Speaker 7: the boyfriend's really getting out of this well.

1333
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 1: I mean, you know that's the thing.

1334
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 2: If you, if you are like this, you know he's

1335
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 2: living a very different life. A very specific set of

1336
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 2: qualities that you're looking for in a partner, you can

1337
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 2: find them in someone who's not this guy.

1338
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,680
Speaker 7: Yes, and the first love theory doesn't have to apply

1339
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 7: to you just because this is your first love. You

1340
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 7: can genuinely find it with another person that doesn't have

1341
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 7: to stay with him. Girl, ask the big question do

1342
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 7: I want this person to father my children?

1343
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 1: Ask it. Eventually he got the hint and left.

1344
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 7: I can't shake this feeling like there could have been

1345
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 7: a better way to handle it. He keeps texting me

1346
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 7: that he wants to get back together and he's sorry

1347
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 7: for ruining everything because as genuinely we were back to

1348
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 7: being perfect wrong. I had finally been forgiving him and

1349
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,840
Speaker 7: trusting him again, and my self image improved a lot

1350
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:12,480
Speaker 7: recently thanks to the gym. I genuinely have so much

1351
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 7: love for him, but I don't think I can keep

1352
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 7: doing this. I'm not his mom, and I don't want

1353
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:21,800
Speaker 7: to keep worrying about him like I am. I want

1354
01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 7: to give him another chance, but I just don't think

1355
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 7: he deserves it anymore.

1356
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: I plan my whole life around.

1357
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:31,200
Speaker 7: Him, and I was going to school to become a

1358
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 7: nurse and mechanic because he wanted to go into boxing.

1359
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,439
Speaker 7: So I really wanted to be able to take care

1360
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,400
Speaker 7: of him. And he wants a twelve car garage, so

1361
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 7: I figured I could help him maintain the cars.

1362
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 1: Oh sweet lord. I even cut off.

1363
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 7: All my friends to make him feel more secure, and

1364
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 7: I'm completely isolated now. I just feel like my whole

1365
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:53,479
Speaker 7: world is falling apart. I feel so lost, So Reddit,

1366
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 7: be honest, Am I the A whole? You're the a

1367
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:59,520
Speaker 7: hole to yourself because of what you've done. Take these lessons,

1368
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 7: learn from, and you're going to be so much better

1369
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 7: in about three or four years