1 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 1: It's time for the b a qa a to b 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 1: a q a Tiffiney, the b a qa no manday 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: because the babies are sick. 4 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 2: The b a qa a. 5 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: So unfortunately, Mandy's babies are sick like everybody else. Y'all 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,599 Speaker 1: know I had bronchitis up a respiratory a week or 7 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: so ago. Honestly, when I tell you, everybody's sick if 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: it went sick. So Mandy's tendant to her babies, but 9 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold her down. 10 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 2: Okay. 11 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: So this is our Bronhambition question and answer segment where 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: you have questions. We have some of your answers. Although 13 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,559 Speaker 1: to be clear, neither myself or Mandy are your attorney, 14 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: your doctor, your lawyer, your accountant, your certified financial planner. 15 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: We are just two smart brown girls who will know 16 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: a thing or two about money, career, personal finance, business. 17 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: And you will take what we share with the smallest 18 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: of smallest of grains of talks. 19 00:00:59,280 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 2: Okay. 20 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: That is my legal disclaimer AKA, so your mama, not me, okay, 21 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: And so actually next Tuesday, by the time this comes 22 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: out on Tuesday, November twenty first, my new book Made 23 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: Whole da. 24 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 2: Will hit the shelves. 25 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: It actually might be available like in Barnes and Nobles already, 26 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: because sometimes they let it come out like a few 27 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: days early and put it on the shelves. It'll be 28 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 1: on the shelves at Target, which we understand, Like, do 29 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: you know how hard it is to get on the 30 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: shelves at Target? Because Target is not a bookstore, so 31 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: they only have like literally a handful of books in 32 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: their book section. 33 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 2: But Target hit us up. 34 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: It was like, girl, we want Madehole or on the shelves, 35 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: get your money. The textbook to this workbook version was 36 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: also on the shelves at Target. So it just feels 37 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: good to be a blacker on the shelf at Target 38 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: or whatever it's happening. So Madehole is the practical guide 39 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: to reach in your financial goals, similar to Get Good 40 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: with Money. 41 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 2: My New York Times bestseller. 42 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: It's really about these ten steps to something that I 43 00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: call financial wholeness. 44 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 2: Therefore the name made Whole. So what does that mean? 45 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: So there are these ten things that if you master, 46 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: whether you are a millionaire, whether you are a teacher, 47 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: a stay at home mom, a mechanic, a nurse, that 48 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: if you master these ten things that you will be 49 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: made whole financially. It is the financial foundation that you 50 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: need to build the rest of your financial life. 51 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 2: Super critical. 52 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 1: And those ten things are budgeting, debt, credit, savings, learning 53 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: to learning to earn so your income. So those are 54 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: the first five. Then investing for both retirement and wealth, insurance, 55 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: your financial team because everybody needs a team. 56 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 2: Net worth, and estate planning. Those ten things. 57 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,119 Speaker 1: If you master those ten things, each of these ten 58 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: is worth ten percent, you will reach one hundred percent wholeness. Okay, 59 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: and so it made whole. The difference is like the 60 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: geting with money. Like I said, it's kind of like 61 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: this textbook with made whole. With each single step, I say, wait, 62 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 1: hold a minute, hold hold on, wait a minute. 63 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 2: Y'all thought I was finished? 64 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: Okay, little micgmil that After like I tell you about 65 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: the step, I show you visually what it should look like. 66 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: Then I give you a moment to practice the step. 67 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: That's so critically important. There's a reason why you got 68 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: homework in school is because it is important that when 69 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,919 Speaker 1: you learn something new that you put it to action. 70 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: And so I give you a moment to inside the 71 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,679 Speaker 1: book to practice the step. And then I have a 72 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: group a secret group that I've created. There's already like, 73 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,839 Speaker 1: oh maybe like twenty thousand people in that group where 74 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: you can go and ask additional questions to say like 75 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: and I give you the link to join that group. 76 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: Inside Made Whole, So if you're doing each step and 77 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: you have a question about investing or insurance or whatever, 78 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: you have a safe space to ask myself other financial educators, 79 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: as well as people in the same position of you, 80 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: or people who have navigated beyond where you are, some 81 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: of which Inside Made Whole I included with each is 82 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: the step a story of someone who has done my 83 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: financial wholeness method, And each step I give you a 84 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: story of someone who's done it, because I also wanted 85 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: you to get some encouragement so you can say, oh, wow, 86 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: Wendy paid off all her debt as a result of 87 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: the way Tiffany teaches how to pay down debt, or 88 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: you know, Tamika has a budget that totally transformed her 89 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: life as a result of what she learned from financial hollness, 90 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: from getor with Money. And so if you are interested 91 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: in getting made Whole, go to Maid Whole Workbook dot com. 92 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 2: You're going to get your life. 93 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: Okay, that's made whole workbook dot com. Okay, so it's 94 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 1: on me today. So we're gonna have a different type 95 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 1: of baqa because something came up and I'm feeling spicy. 96 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 2: So the first question, it's not really a question, but. 97 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:43,600 Speaker 1: Recently someone who I would say, I've known her. Let's 98 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: call her Patricia. I known Patricia for at least ten years, 99 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: I would say maybe longer. I met her like, I 100 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 1: don't know, like in the mix of like where you know. 101 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: I live in Newark, and about fifteen years ago, the 102 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 1: recession happened pretty badly, and there were so many black 103 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: and brown people kind of like not knowing what to 104 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: do with ourselves, but we would like meet up at 105 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: coffee shops and art art things. Nork has a very 106 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: big art scene, black art scene and different like just 107 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: kind of like networking events. So I met her in 108 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: that space, super cool. Always liked her, Patricia, right, and so, 109 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: and then you know, as people started to get more 110 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: grown we were in our late twenties then, and started 111 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: to get jobs or start businesses. 112 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 2: I don't know, I think Patricia went off. 113 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what Patricia was doing in that timeframe, 114 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 1: but I know that Patricia. I would see her pop 115 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 1: up in my timeline in different countries, Like at one 116 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: point Patricia was in Bali and then I think I 117 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: felt like she was like in the Caribbean for a 118 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: little while, and like she was like a speaker, and 119 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: I think like just some sort of like like life educator, 120 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: I guess, and so like, you know, like we kind 121 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,159 Speaker 1: of lost touch, you know, not that we were super cool, 122 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: but like cool enough kind of lost touch, but social 123 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 1: media touch base, you know. 124 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 2: And then we hung up, probably one time. 125 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: Her distinctly that we hung out, and you know, like 126 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: I said, she was cool. Then I saw a few 127 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 1: years ago that she had posted on social media that 128 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: she was struggling with her finances and she was in 129 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: an unsafe position and she really needed to navigate from 130 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,119 Speaker 1: this unsafe space that she was in. And I saw 131 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: that and I kind of like hit her behind the scenes, 132 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: and it was like, I don't know, something just moved me. 133 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: And I gave her, I said, you know, I think 134 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 1: I don't know if she had to gofund me or whatever. Then, 135 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: but I sent her money, and you know, good amount 136 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: of mine. I think I sent about like a thousand dollars, 137 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: which by then, I probably had not spoken to her 138 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: in like four or five years, you know, but I 139 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: still like there just seemed to be this underlying sense 140 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: of like, well, am. 141 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 2: I just I play here? Just in if you're watching 142 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 2: her YouTube, saw my empty. 143 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: Lunch fully, so she just seemed to be in a 144 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 1: really bad way, and so, you know, and something just 145 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: moved me to say just And I didn't even it 146 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: wasn't like I was rolling in the dow, but at 147 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 1: that time, it was something moved me to say, she 148 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 1: seems like she's in a really bad way and it 149 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 1: seems really unsafe, and I would hate for the amount 150 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: of five thousand dollars a thousand dollars that you know, 151 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: I read a terrible story of something happening to her. 152 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: So I gave her that money and she was really appreciative. Great, 153 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 1: But in between times like I've never really heard from Patricia. 154 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: If I'm being all the way candid, I remember, like 155 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: you know, like if you all remember I launched my 156 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: My Molly Moore. When my I had a children's book 157 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: that came out, I reached out to all my friends 158 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: to see if they could donate or at least very 159 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: at least share the Kickstarter campaign because I was crowdfunding 160 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: because I wanted to print enough books that could donate 161 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: twenty five hundred books to black and brown little babies 162 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: so they can see themselves in a book that talks 163 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: about financial education in a way. 164 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 2: That was. 165 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: In a way that was culturally an age appropriate. And 166 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: so I had that book Happy Birthday Molly Moore, which 167 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: is still available honestly at m A l I So 168 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: Molly m o r E m A l I m 169 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: Mori mollymore dot com and there's a bunch of free 170 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: resources on that if you want to just take a look. 171 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: But the book is still available, beautiful book with a 172 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: little brown baby with her four seats. 173 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 2: Afro. 174 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: So I'm giving you this all this backstory, Like I 175 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:13,119 Speaker 1: have not heard from Patricia, not after my husband passed away, 176 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: not when I personally messaged her, like I messaged all 177 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: my friends about hey, if you can support nothing, which 178 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: is fine because you know, people live all over the world, 179 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: you know, like I said, she's been traveling. But recently, Patricia, 180 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: and this never happens to me. No one ever really 181 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: asked me for money in my dms, like never this. 182 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: I can probably kunt of one hand as someone has 183 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: reached out to ask me for money, stranger or otherwise, 184 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: but recently, as in a few days ago, Patricia reached 185 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: out and asked. 186 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 2: For money, and not just a little bit of money, honey. 187 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: I mean what It was a little odd because it 188 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: was like she had like this really long explanation advice 189 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: she needed the money, and then she had the screenshot 190 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: where she put this long, long explanation into AI Portola. 191 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: You going to know I talked about you, girl, but 192 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: I mean, it is what it is. Where she put this. 193 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: She said, I had this really long explanation of why 194 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: I needed this money, but I didn't know. I didn't 195 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: want you to have to read all of this, so 196 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: instead I put it into AI and said, can you 197 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 1: take all of this and put it into a short paragraph? 198 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: Like literally the prompt said please it put please summarize 199 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: this for Tiffany. She put my name in in a 200 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: short paragraph and then it explained why she need the money, 201 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: which I won't go into specifically. 202 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 2: So I thought that was strange. 203 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: I was like, why do I need to see a 204 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: screenshot if you're telling AI, tell this to Tiffany in 205 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 1: a shorter version, and the amount that she was asking for. 206 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: It wasn't a little bit of money. It was about 207 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: to twenty five one hundred dollars or three thousand dollars. 208 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 2: I felt some kind of way because but you say, 209 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 2: ain't my. 210 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: Cousin she had my sister, And I used a word friend, 211 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: which is the word she used very loosely, because I 212 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: have not heard from Patricia like ever, you know, outside 213 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: of me giving her money from that time, I've not 214 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 1: heard from Patricia at all, which is fine, but it 215 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: feels I don't know, it just feels and I don't 216 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 1: believe in transactional relationships, but it just feels like, you know, 217 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,680 Speaker 1: to say, I consider your friend. So this is awkward 218 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: to ask, but I'm going to ask, which I know 219 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,839 Speaker 1: she must be having a hard time. 220 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,559 Speaker 2: But there is something to. 221 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: Be said about maintaining relationships, you know, because if Patricia 222 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: had actually been a friend, I mean, I would say absolutely. 223 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,599 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm generous with my friends and Jenners is 224 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 1: my family. I mean asking them, I just am you know, 225 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: like my friends or family can't need a thing and 226 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: I have it and I don't give it to you. 227 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: So it's really not about that, But it was just 228 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: more so about like we haven't. There hasn't been a 229 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: relationship maintained here, and so this ask is the type 230 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: of ass that you would have of someone that you've 231 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: maintained a relationship with. It's not like, hey, donate fifty 232 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,719 Speaker 1: dollars to my GoFundMe because I want to, you know, 233 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: build I don't know, like homes for children in Nairobi 234 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 1: or something like that. You know, it's like for your 235 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: own personal use, which I can understand if you're in need. 236 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: But and here's the part that kind of rubbed me 237 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: the wrong way too, is that So she sent me 238 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 1: that message on IG and then she sent me a 239 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: message on Facebook that said, hey Tiffany, please check your IG. 240 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 2: I sent you a message. 241 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: So I had already seen the IG message, but I 242 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: went on to Facebook a few days after and I 243 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: saw that. But right above her message of her saying 244 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: Hey Tiffany, please check your IG was a message that 245 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: I had sent her asking for ten twenty five dollars 246 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: to donate to Molly Moore so I could donate books 247 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 1: to kids, one that she read and saw and didn't 248 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: reply at all, like nothing, not home, not in a position, 249 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:03,559 Speaker 1: no reply. So it also felt like girl, you didn't 250 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: mean like when like I said, I don't believe in 251 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: transactional but it certainly. 252 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 2: Doesn't feel like we've freen school until you need money again. 253 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 2: So it's like, oh what. 254 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: I wanted to get money for this component of giving 255 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: back to the babies. Not only did you not donate, 256 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 1: you didn't say nothing, you know, like, and now you're 257 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: asking me for this and say we're friends, but houses 258 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: we'd don't they. So I'm so proud of new Tiffany 259 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 1: because old Tiffany, you know, would have either not said 260 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 1: anything because I felt really uncomfortable, or yeah, I just 261 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: would have felt uncomfortable about setting a boundary. 262 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 2: But even before I saw the whole exchange. 263 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: On Facebook, I had already within five minutes of her 264 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:51,559 Speaker 1: sending me, that's a girl. 265 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 2: We ain't got to cut to the chase. We all cut. 266 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 2: We just gonna get to the chase. Now we don't 267 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 2: got to cut to it. 268 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 1: And so I said, hey, Patricia, I'm so sorry that 269 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: you're having you know, a hard time. Currently I'm not 270 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: in a position. Oh no, whatever, I didn't say this. 271 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 1: I didn't want to lie, I said. Currently Basically I 272 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: told her no, but that I wished her well. But 273 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: whatever it was, I didn't lie. I didn't say I 274 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: wasn't a because I had three thousand dollars, just not 275 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,599 Speaker 1: for Patricia. I think I said, I forget whatever of 276 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 1: what I wrote, but it was kind, it was brief, 277 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: and it was negative, not negative, but like I know, 278 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: and so I'm sharing that because one, you know, just 279 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 1: in case you listen to Patricia girl, but two for 280 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 1: you as you are navigating your financial life. You know, 281 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: if you do find yourself in a position of needing help, like, 282 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: it is easier for people to help you when you 283 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 1: are a consistent, consistent person in their life. You know, 284 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 1: I know sometimes you know that that's not always possible, 285 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 1: but you have to understand that asking people for money 286 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: that you have not provided any sort of like support, friendship, kindness, anything, 287 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:10,520 Speaker 1: you know, is probably not going to work out in 288 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 1: your favor. I'm sure she thought Tiffany gave me a 289 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: thousand dollars last time, and there was no prompting, and 290 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 1: you know she you know, you know, she gave it 291 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: to me and I had not you know, done anything 292 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: to maintain a friendship or anything with her. So maybe 293 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: that will happen again, and you know, like I said, 294 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: something just led me to say, you need to do this, 295 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 1: Tiffany because if not, she's going to be in a 296 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: really bad way. So you know, I had no problem 297 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: doing that. But yeah, just just consider that. People will 298 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: always say maybe you might be listening, like, oh, gir 299 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: you should have gave it the three thousand if you 300 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 1: had it. 301 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 2: Now here's the thing. 302 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: Having three thousand does not mean it's for you, like 303 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 1: I might find out too much from now that my 304 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: best friend Linda needs something, my other best friend Cabrown 305 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 1: needs something. 306 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 2: My niece is you know what I mean meaning. 307 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: That like, yes, it's available, but it doesn't mean because 308 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: people sometimes well I hear people say like, you know, 309 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: especially when it comes to people and their money. 310 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 2: If it was me, you know, I would do X, 311 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 2: Y Z. 312 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 1: And certainly I've been guilty of that, like oh look 313 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: at Oprah Chad, that was me, I would be doing. Well, 314 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: it's not you, it's not you. And the truth of 315 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: the matter is it's so easy to say tell us 316 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: you right that people if it was me to death, 317 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: but I ain't never been in that position. 318 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 2: If it was me, I would hire her. Okay, when's 319 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 2: the last time you was a bulf. 320 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: If it was me, I would to give her a 321 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 1: salary raise, okay, And you raised everybody's salary in a 322 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: one year. 323 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 2: You had a business. 324 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: You know, sometimes the you don't get to really see 325 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: the holistic view until you are in the seat, and 326 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, that's why Oprah Doe what she 327 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: do and how she do it. Oh that's why such 328 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: as such. You know, my boss navigated from this space. 329 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 2: Oh that's why. 330 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: I remember when I'm Tamora on my teen I promoted 331 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 1: her the CEO of my online school at the Literature Academy, 332 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: and she was like, girl, you. 333 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 2: Was navigating all this by yourself. This is what it 334 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 2: looked like to be the boys. I say, year, girl, 335 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 2: it's horrid over here. And she was like, damn, how you. 336 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: Still came around with a smile on your face, paying 337 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: us well, making sure we good, making sure we you know, 338 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 1: we have a matching program for our four O one K, 339 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: making sure we all have health insurance, dental insurance, you know, 340 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: like all the things paid well bonuses every year. 341 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 2: Girl, you did all that when things. 342 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: Was up and down to behind the scenes. I'm like, yes, 343 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: I always ate last I made sure everybody was paid. 344 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: I never missed the payroll and fifteen years of business 345 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: because I will go I will go without before I 346 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: make sure my team goes without. So when someone says, 347 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 1: you know, like when folks came to me who were 348 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: no longer here to say like, oh, I feel like 349 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: I'm deserving of this, this and this, and I'm just like, 350 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: you know, I certainly believe in paying like what people 351 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: deserving more, but I also have to look holistically at 352 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 1: what the company is capable of doing, because if I 353 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: put the company at risk for this temporary boost, then there. 354 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 2: Won't be no company. You have to look for a 355 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 2: new job either way, you know. 356 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 1: So it's very easy that if it was me, And 357 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: so I'm just sharing that for those of you who 358 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 1: might be saying if it was me, But. 359 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just think the lesson in that is that like. 360 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: If you in order to have a good friend, you 361 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,720 Speaker 1: got to be a good friend, you know, including financial friend. 362 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying you have to give people money 363 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 1: or anything like that in order to receive money, but 364 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 1: in order to. 365 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 2: Have a friend, you got to be a friend. 366 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: And you know, financial finances require an investment, you know, 367 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: like it nobody wants to pour into a black hole. 368 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: So if it's looking like, so, what are you doing 369 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 1: to take care of yourself? What do you One of 370 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 1: the one of the best piece of advice that my 371 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,440 Speaker 1: friend can bro Ever gave me. And I think about 372 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 1: this all the time, and then we'll take a break 373 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: and then answer the second question. 374 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 2: Not that you asked this question, but I had to tell. 375 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 1: One of the best piece of advice that my friend 376 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,159 Speaker 1: carbro gave me. When someone asked to borrow money, he said, Tiffany, 377 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: the thing I ask myself is will it change the situation? 378 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: So example, my sister baby Lisa might say, this is 379 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: a true story. Sorry, Lisa probably told the story ready. 380 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: But Lisa was like, ugh, I need to go to 381 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: the doctor and you know, I'm not feeling so well 382 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: or whatever. She had to go to before. She was 383 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 1: going on a trip or something like that, and there 384 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: was a boot on her car, a boot and she 385 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 1: was like, I forget how much. 386 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,080 Speaker 2: It was like, there's a few hundred dollars. I said, well, damn, 387 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,359 Speaker 2: how much are tickets to Jersey City. They're not a 388 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 2: few hundred. 389 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 1: So that was that was like tickets piled up a reckless, 390 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 1: abandoned behavior like a true damn baby sister, even though 391 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 1: she in the baby. 392 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 2: And so she called me and was like, could she 393 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 2: just lend it to me? I'll pay you back on 394 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,159 Speaker 2: pay day or whatever. 395 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 1: So if I were to follow Kerbroll's advice, will it 396 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 1: actually fix or change the current situation? I pay the boot, 397 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 1: Lisa gets to take it off instantly because it's some 398 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,920 Speaker 1: digital thing. She gets to go to the doctor within 399 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: the next thirty minutes. So will it actually fix the problem? Yes, 400 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 1: me paying the boot. But let's just say Lisa came 401 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 1: to me and said, oh my gosh, you know, I'm 402 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: I'm you know, I don't have I lost my job 403 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: and or I know she's unemployed or whatever, and Lisa, 404 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 1: this has not happened. But I'm just giving a different scenario. 405 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: And she comes to me and says, you know I 406 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: have about that new car. You told me not to 407 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: buy that new car. And I said, girl, yes, And 408 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 1: she's like, well, I don't have a job, as you know, 409 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: and I don't have money for the you know, my 410 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,120 Speaker 1: car payment next month. Could you help me now if 411 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: I pay the car payment next month? And Lisa says, 412 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: because I start my job next month. Will that fix 413 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 1: the problem? Yes, because it's a temporary setback because her 414 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,199 Speaker 1: job starts in a month. But if she has no 415 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: job lined up and I pay that car note, guess 416 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: what happens next month. She gonna either need another car 417 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: note payment for me or somebody else, or she gonna 418 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: lose that car and I lose my money either way 419 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: either way. So I would tell Lisa, that's not happened. 420 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 1: But in that situation, can I help you with a 421 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: car not this month? No, because you have no way 422 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 1: to keep it up up and you have no way 423 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 1: to continue those payments. 424 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 2: I did that one time. 425 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: I was in my twenties and my best friend at 426 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: the time, her mom was losing her home. 427 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 2: And I don't even know because her mom and I 428 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 2: had gotten really close. 429 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 1: Now, I think this seemed really appropriate because girl I 430 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 1: was like twenty one, I don't watch she took money 431 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: from a baby. Anyway, her mom was losing her home, 432 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,399 Speaker 1: and at the time, I was a teacher, and I 433 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,640 Speaker 1: saved up some money, and I think the mortgage payment 434 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 1: was like fifteen hundred, sixte hundred whatever it was. It 435 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: was about it was under two thousand dollars and I 436 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 1: told her mom, because I felt like I was grown. 437 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: Maybe I was twenty two, twenty three. I had to 438 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: be like because I was a teacher, so probably was 439 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: like twenty three. And I told her mom, I'll give 440 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 1: you the because I didn't really understand how mortgages worked fully, 441 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: I will give you. 442 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 2: This month's mortgage payment. And to her credit, she said no. 443 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: At first, I said no because I could see how 444 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,880 Speaker 1: stressed you are, and I don't want you to lose 445 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 1: your home. But what I would have twenty three year 446 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: activity didn't understand. So if you give her this this 447 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: mortgage payment this month, what is she going to do 448 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 1: next month? And guess what happened. What she did next 449 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,159 Speaker 1: month is nothing because she didn't have the money to. 450 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 2: Keep it going. 451 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,879 Speaker 1: So instead, it would have been wiser to say, here 452 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,880 Speaker 1: is this sixteen seventeen hundred dollars to help you put 453 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: down for an apartment, like you know, your down payment 454 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,400 Speaker 1: or whatever. First month, run in an apartment, because you're 455 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: not gonna be able to keep this home because you 456 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 1: don't have the money next month, you know. But I 457 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,880 Speaker 1: didn't understand that, so sure enough she lost the property. 458 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,720 Speaker 1: I lost my sixteen seventeen hundred dollars she said she 459 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: paid me back. 460 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 2: She has never paid me back. I'm now forty four. 461 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: Oh you know, but I didn't understand what it looked 462 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: like to lend someone money because I didn't understand that 463 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,959 Speaker 1: rule that if it's not going to actually fix the problem, 464 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: then it's either best to just give the money, and 465 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 1: even then it doesn't make sense and how you're giving 466 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: it to them, like give it to them to throw 467 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,679 Speaker 1: after a house they're going to lose, or give it 468 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 1: to them to get a new place to live, you know, 469 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,679 Speaker 1: an apartment that they can actually afford, you know. And 470 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: then two, you know, like looking at at your own life, 471 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: does it make sense for where you are financially? You know, 472 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 1: like it's kind of put you in harm's way. So 473 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 1: just some lessons to learn, you know. So I was 474 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,919 Speaker 1: proud of myself about telling her no in a way 475 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 1: that was kind. 476 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,920 Speaker 2: But also and I didn't want her to wait. 477 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 1: I don't want her to wait or just pretend like 478 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: I didn't see it, like how she pretended, like she 479 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: didn't see see how she pretended like yes, see why message? 480 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 1: But still, you know, like I was proud of myself 481 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: for letting her know. You know, no, you know, but 482 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 1: I do wish you well. So Patricia girl, we're gonna 483 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: send a prayer up for you, and I do hope 484 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 1: that it all works out. 485 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 2: But I'm not the bank of budgeties done? Okay, So 486 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 2: how would y'all have done? Am I wrong? It's like, 487 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:41,359 Speaker 2: I know I'm not wrong. 488 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 1: Go ahead and tweet me at the budget of these 489 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: does because slide it to my dms. Keep it cute though, 490 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 1: because I do black certainly even if you disagree, you 491 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,919 Speaker 1: can certainly disagree respectfully, you know, just keep it cute. 492 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 2: Maybe something else I could have done, but yeah, I might. 493 00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 1: Offer some resources because one of my friends is a 494 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: social worker and there are other resources out there, So 495 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: I might ask Linda if there's some resources that I 496 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,119 Speaker 1: can share, depending on what country Fastrisio is currently living in. 497 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 2: But yeah, what do you have done? All right, I'm 498 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 2: gonna take a quick break. 499 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: We're gonna be back and black and Brown with a 500 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 1: second scenario slash question. 501 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 2: All right, see y'all soon. 502 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: Okay, we are back and black and brown. So this 503 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 1: is a second little scenario. So the scenario not really scenario, 504 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:36,479 Speaker 1: but with the holidays coming up, and inflation at an 505 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:41,640 Speaker 1: all time hal and I know Black Friday, Cyber Monday, 506 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: Small Business Saturday, all the days of the commercial week 507 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: right are going to be squeezing at your pockets. How 508 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: do you navigate the holidays? This is our producing Mindy 509 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: had asked me, like she's like, oh yeah, please do 510 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: this one. 511 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 2: How do you. 512 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: Navigate the holidays season in a way that's as financially 513 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:04,120 Speaker 1: responsible as possible? It's perfect timing because Thanksgiving is literally 514 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:09,160 Speaker 1: just around the river bed. Name that name, that Disney, 515 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,440 Speaker 1: that Disney cartoon. 516 00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 2: Just around the river bed. Mm hmm. 517 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: Some of y'all don't you know you don't you just 518 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: that up on this Okay, So how do you navigate responsibly? 519 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:23,360 Speaker 2: Well? 520 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,439 Speaker 1: One the best way always to navigate responsibly when it 521 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: comes to your finances is to make a plan before 522 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 1: you take action. So you know that the holidays are coming, 523 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: you know, I want you to be like Sannah, make 524 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 1: a list, check it twice, figure out who's noady, going nice? Okay, 525 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 1: And so I want you to make a plan. Matter 526 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 1: of fact, I just thought about something like that down 527 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 1: for myself part of my plan. So I want you 528 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,399 Speaker 1: to make a plan about like what one how the 529 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 1: holiday is going to look So if you celebrate Thanksgiving, 530 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: what is that going to look like? 531 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 2: Are you hosting it at your house? Somebody else hosting it? 532 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: If you're hosting it at your house, you know, start 533 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: to think, now what you want everyone to bring? You 534 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: don't have to pay for every single aspect of the 535 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,639 Speaker 1: holiday season, just because you're hosting it at your house. 536 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: Is it maybe you just wantever it's chipping money, you know. 537 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,880 Speaker 1: So I get this. For the last couple of years, 538 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: I've gotten Thanksgiving catered. So Vonda, my friend Vonda, She's 539 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,800 Speaker 1: got Vonda's kitchen and newerk. 540 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 2: She's amazing. 541 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 1: It's been like three or four years she's been catering 542 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving because my mom. 543 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 2: Was like, girl, she tapped out. My mom was like, 544 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 2: I'm not doing it no more. 545 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,440 Speaker 1: And so Vonda makes amazing Thanksgiving dinner, all the fixes 546 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 1: and so, you know, people just chip in. So we 547 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: have this stress free Thanksgiving as far as the food 548 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 1: is concerned. We have it at my house now and 549 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: I know how much it'll cost, and people just chip 550 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: in and or they bring something. You know, so pre 551 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 1: plan for what that looks like and then whatever you 552 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 1: are responsible for as far as the food component, you know, 553 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: start to map out how much is that going to cost? 554 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: You know, because you can start to purchase things now 555 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,879 Speaker 1: like turkeys. You can start to look at now you 556 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: know certain things are you know, you like because the 557 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 1: turkey is frozen. You can start to gather the troops 558 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: now of like what do I need to make sure 559 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 1: I'm ready? Like it aren't pans maybe you're using sternos, 560 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 1: those like a little light those little fire things that 561 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: you put underneath the pans. Like can you start to 562 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: stack up on those things now, you know, instead of 563 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 1: giving them last minute when everyone is kind of scrambling, 564 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,479 Speaker 1: can you order them online? Like, start map out your 565 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 1: plan the components you need and start ordering or picking 566 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: up those things now if you are going to cater 567 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: or then you know, just fine, see you know, get 568 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: your family group chat together and say this is what 569 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: the cost is going to be if everyone could chip 570 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: in here, zell me, cash at me whatever that looks like. 571 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: So that way you guys have an easy, breezy Thanksgiving. 572 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 1: Get your paper plates if that's what you're into or 573 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 1: whatever and stuff now, you know, so create a plan, 574 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:54,800 Speaker 1: map out that plan. 575 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 2: Another thing to do. 576 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 1: This is a nice holiday tradition that my sisters and 577 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,200 Speaker 1: I do because there's five of us. 578 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 2: And we started to do this in. 579 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,680 Speaker 1: College because it costs too much money to buy each 580 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: sister a Christmas gift. So on Thanksgiving we actually exchange names. 581 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 1: We do a secret Santa. We used to just do 582 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: it via like it's a little paper. We would like, 583 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: get a cup, put our names down the things we wanted, 584 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: throw it in a cup. But now we use this 585 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 1: site called elfster. It's free E L f st er 586 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,440 Speaker 1: where elvester because we use it every year. Is it elvester, Yeah, 587 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 1: we use it every year. Will match you to a 588 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,920 Speaker 1: new sister, a sister you did not have last year. 589 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:38,880 Speaker 1: And with elfster you can actually like add things from Etsy, Amazon, Nords, 590 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: Drum I think I saw on there, Macy, I think 591 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,360 Speaker 1: I saw on there. You can add things to your 592 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: wish list. So and then we put a budget, like 593 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 1: Elster will show you this is the budget, one hundred 594 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: dollars fifty bucks. When we were in college it was 595 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: like twenty five bucks. And now you know this is 596 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,360 Speaker 1: the sister who's my secret Santam. This is what I'm purchasing. 597 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 1: You know this is the kind of things that she 598 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: says she wants. 599 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,399 Speaker 2: You can. Sometimes the sisters will look at and be like, gir, 600 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 2: you weren't getting none of that. 601 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: They just decide where they want to get you either way. 602 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 1: But it's just a nice family tradition that on Thanksgiving 603 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 1: we exchange names and then on Christmas you don't know 604 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 1: who your person is or who has you, and so 605 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,400 Speaker 1: you get to exchange gifts on thanks On Christmas that's 606 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,160 Speaker 1: less expensive. 607 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 2: So you could do this with like a group of. 608 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 1: Cousins, because maybe there's twenty cousins, thirty cousins, you know. 609 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:21,879 Speaker 2: The rule usually is is. 610 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 1: That like, like we get the kids. My sister Carol 611 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: has two kids, Roman and Amelia, and my sister Karen 612 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: has one one child, Lily, So we get the kids 613 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: something for when it comes to the sisters, you know, 614 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: like you, like I said, you might do this with 615 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,239 Speaker 1: your cousins. All my cousins are significantly younger, so they 616 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: don't participate. 617 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 2: In that with us. 618 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 1: But also too, even when it comes to the parents, 619 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 1: like we have done this from almost the beginning of time, 620 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: that my sisters and I don't get individual gifts for 621 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 1: our parents. 622 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 2: We pool our money. So it's all about the pool. 623 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 2: We pull our money and we say this is what 624 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,720 Speaker 2: we getting my mom, this is what we getting our dad. 625 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 1: We good? We good. You know, we have our own 626 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 1: sister group chat. We kind of prediscuss when it comes 627 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,440 Speaker 1: to not just the holiday season, but also two birthdays 628 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: Mother's Day, Father's Day. We do that either way. So 629 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:08,920 Speaker 1: if you don't, you might not have siblings, so it 630 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,400 Speaker 1: might not work out that way. But I'm just saying, 631 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: if you do and siblings you get along with consider 632 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 1: pooling your money, pulling resources. Also consider So when Jarell, 633 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 1: my late husband, was still here, we would have like 634 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 1: a no gift Christmas. 635 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 2: So I remember the year we purchased this house. 636 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: We were doing so many renovations and it was getting 637 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 1: to be really expensive, and I said, Babe, let's do 638 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 1: a no gift Christmas, like, you know, like you could 639 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,479 Speaker 1: get me something maybe like he would write me a card, 640 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: or maybe we would have dinner together, you know, something 641 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 1: special like that. But in order to save you know, 642 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: we always got a liss of something my stepdaughter, my 643 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 1: bonus daughter. But for us, we would sometimes have that 644 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,520 Speaker 1: depending on what was happening, but we would agree upon 645 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: that ahead of time, you know, or maybe you have 646 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: a gift that you have to create to yourself, you know. 647 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: Then you know, maybe it's a handmade Christmas. So you 648 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: can make up whatever rules you want when it comes 649 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: to the holiday season. But doing doing so prior to 650 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: the seeding season hitting its peak, which really starts Thanksgiving week, 651 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 1: it's going to be critical for your own. 652 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 2: Peace of mind. 653 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 1: Okay, pulling money together, having a secret Santa, consider like 654 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: a new tradition like no give Christmas, or or handmade 655 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: you know holidays. You know, just consider those things and 656 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 1: all at the end of the day, just remembering that 657 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: the holiday season is about family connectedness, friends, It's not 658 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: about stuff. I know it sounds so. 659 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,240 Speaker 2: So Hallmark movie. 660 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 1: But as someone who is navigating the holiday season without 661 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 1: my favorite person, Darrell, like I think about I look 662 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: at like back at all of our like Christmas and 663 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving pictures and never once so I think to myself, 664 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 1: I can't even remember what he got me. But the smiles, 665 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 1: the laughter, the joy on Christmas morning, the like hot coco. 666 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: He would always get coquied. So is that what's called 667 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: like it's like this milky delicious. I don't even drink alcohol, 668 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 1: but I drink some co geek out right, like on 669 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 1: thanks I literally have video on Christmas Morning of like 670 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 1: him laughing and opening whatever blanket or whatever thing I 671 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: got him, that it was never really about the gifts, 672 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 1: that the gifts really are the gifts of time and love. 673 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 1: And so if nothing else, pour in and lean into that, 674 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 1: you know, because no one lasts forever, No no matter 675 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 1: how much how good they are, how much you love them, 676 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: no one is going to be here forever and ever 677 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: and ever. And so while you have them, you want 678 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: to make the most of your time with them and 679 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: make it about them and the time and the love 680 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 1: spend and the connectedness and not so much about the stuff. 681 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 1: All right, But if you are going to buy something child, 682 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 1: go ahead on over to maid Whole Workbook dot com. 683 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 2: You see how it turns it around. 684 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 1: It make a great Christmas gift or holiday gift for 685 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: a loved one who is always asking to borrow money 686 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 1: or want to get on financial track, or just for yourself. Yeah, 687 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 1: especially with the new year coming, let's start the new 688 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: year off financially strong. Okay, We're not gonna have another 689 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,360 Speaker 1: year like twenty twenty three. 690 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 2: It was a hot mess. We're not doing that again. 691 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: We are going to be financially whole and twenty twenty four, 692 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: and I can help you make wholeness happen for you. 693 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 1: Like I said, Mad Whole workbook dot com. You know, 694 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: get your ten Steps to financial holeness on. 695 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: And I will see you next. WEE God willing by y'all,