Speaker 1: Hey, Hello, Hello, Hello. How's it going. We are winding
Speaker 1: down summer.
Speaker 2: And you know, I see a lot on social media
Speaker 2: Barbie about like summertime sadness, and I was going to
Speaker 2: ask you how summertime affects dating Like I would think,
Speaker 2: on one hand, it's very social and people are meeting people,
Speaker 2: But on the other hand, people are away and it's
Speaker 2: like finding a job. It's probably not the best time
Speaker 2: to enter the dating market. What do you say about that.
Speaker 3: There's never a wrong season. I think there's always an
Speaker 3: excuse to make it seem like something's not the right
Speaker 3: time to enter, But I think for every season there's
Speaker 3: actually like an upside. So the fact that everyone has
Speaker 3: been traveling over the summer, I think it's great time
Speaker 3: to meet people because usually people are a little bit
Speaker 3: more wanting to find someone before things in some markets
Speaker 3: where it's winter and it's like coffing season, so I
Speaker 3: think it's a great time to prioritize your love life
Speaker 3: and to embrace or it gets cold to meet someone.
Speaker 3: You think about all the celebrations that happen in fourth
Speaker 3: quarter where you start taking stock of, Okay, another year,
Speaker 3: what do I have to show for in my personal life.
Speaker 3: I think it's a great time to leverage fall.
Speaker 1: Like holidays are coming up.
Speaker 3: And New Year's Yeah, and like sometimes it could be
Speaker 3: a lot of pressure, but I also look at it
Speaker 3: like take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy. But
Speaker 3: like anything else that you have to prioritize, whether it's
Speaker 3: a doctor's appointment and self care, you have to prioritize
Speaker 3: your love life. So don't use excuses like, oh, everyone's traveling,
Speaker 3: everybody's busy. Look at its like, no everyone you know
Speaker 3: people that are ready for love. Doesn't matter what the
Speaker 3: season is. Embrace that it's fall and it's still beautiful
Speaker 3: and mean, I know where I live, like September if
Speaker 3: the fall is like the most is a beautiful time
Speaker 3: of year.
Speaker 2: So don't make excuses saying you're not going to deal
Speaker 2: with it until no. Okay, yeah, So how does someone
Speaker 2: balance wanting to be proactive and being patient, trusting the process,
Speaker 2: but also wanting to be in the process. How does
Speaker 2: someone find that balance?
Speaker 3: I think once you've taken a temperature read and realize, Okay,
Speaker 3: I want to be a wee, I want to find
Speaker 3: my person. I have worked on myself. I'm in a
Speaker 3: good place I'm in the best place I've been, and
Speaker 3: you practice things that are going to help you, like
Speaker 3: figuring out and taking an audit of what do I
Speaker 3: need to do to find love? Is that I need
Speaker 3: to carve out time? Do I need to heal my heart?
Speaker 3: Is it just carving out like where I'm meeting this
Speaker 3: person and changing like what my strategy is. But I
Speaker 3: also think that patience is one of the most important
Speaker 3: ingredients in finding love. I think like logically, we know
Speaker 3: that take takes time to bake a custom dress, a
Speaker 3: custom couch, you order a car you want, it takes
Speaker 3: time for it to arrive. But when it comes to
Speaker 3: your love life, you want it. And that's where people
Speaker 3: make a big mistake that's super costly because it could
Speaker 3: have lots of setbacks of them realizing that they're going
Speaker 3: to settle. And I truly believe that settling is the
Speaker 3: quickest way to have a disaster on your hands and
Speaker 3: having divorce attorney in your phone. So the kindest thing
Speaker 3: you could do yourself is during your dating era to
Speaker 3: love every minute and give yourself the gift of inner peace.
Speaker 3: So I like to use analogy in the financial market,
Speaker 3: and it's called patient capital. So in order to have
Speaker 3: long term gains in equity market, sometimes it requires being
Speaker 3: patient because when there's a down market, you can't get
Speaker 3: hysterical and pull your money and opt out of something.
Speaker 3: You have to say, Okay, I've been here before, this
Speaker 3: is not my first rodeo. I know that whether it's
Speaker 3: a period of time, a couple months or a couple
Speaker 3: of years, that it's going to correct itself. And then
Speaker 3: the ones that have the patience and aren't hysterical are
Speaker 3: the ones that gain same thing with your love life,
Speaker 3: the ones that realize they're dating some equality, so they
Speaker 3: know they're worth they know they're dating some equality. There's
Speaker 3: no rush. You have to realize that good things will
Speaker 3: come when you pack some patience, and you will win
Speaker 3: with that attitude. Sometimes we are there's so much noise
Speaker 3: in our lives that we are quick to boot someone
Speaker 3: off our island. And so in some ways it's good
Speaker 3: because the safeguards your time. If you just get the
Speaker 3: ick and you realize this is it my person, but
Speaker 3: if it's a good, high quality person, just enjoy your
Speaker 3: life and have confidence in yourself and realize that patience
Speaker 3: is going to be your The secret ingredients to help
Speaker 3: you find the right person.
Speaker 2: It's funny that you bring that up, because I think
Speaker 2: people have to learn the line between the dick and
Speaker 2: something that may just turn you off. So there could
Speaker 2: be an ick where you're just like actually, ugh, you know,
Speaker 2: and it might happen a couple of times and you
Speaker 2: gaslight yourself because you know that the person's good on paper,
Speaker 2: and so then you try to like justify it. I've
Speaker 2: done this so many times. Yeah, and then you really
Speaker 2: finally get the final blow of the ick. And I
Speaker 2: think at any point with the ick, you don't really
Speaker 2: have to be that. I don't mean don't be compassion
Speaker 2: if you think the person's nice, but I mean you
Speaker 2: got to get yourself the hell out of there, because
Speaker 2: that's how you get in the wrong car. But I
Speaker 2: think to your point, there are people that maybe aren't
Speaker 2: acting in the way you would like them to be acting,
Speaker 2: and that's different. Like you said, there could be an
Speaker 2: illness in the family you don't know about. They could
Speaker 2: be going through a terrible time. It works, they could
Speaker 2: be sick, and they're not going to tell you. Get
Speaker 2: you too early. So I think that that's a good
Speaker 2: delineation to make and how does someone deal with the
Speaker 2: patience of Part B. Like, let's say someone's texting back
Speaker 2: and forth, or the communication style is not great, or
Speaker 2: someone's not calling the way they want, or whatever the
Speaker 2: thing is, someone sends too many pictures of their kids
Speaker 2: or gets too comfortable right away. How do you deal
Speaker 2: with someone not having a communication style that you're comfortable with.
Speaker 3: You have to differentiate between a different communications style that
Speaker 3: you're not comfortable with versus one that's healthy and unhealthy,
Speaker 3: because you might have been exposed not you, but one
Speaker 3: it might be exposed to an unhealthy way of communicating
Speaker 3: that you feel safe with. But really it's not a
Speaker 3: healthy communications style. I really wish I always joke, but
Speaker 3: that No, we don't come with owners manuals, right, So
Speaker 3: there is no roadmap and two people's connection until you
Speaker 3: actually start communicating. It's there could be so many misfires
Speaker 3: or miscommunications or connecting the dots and accurately about someone.
Speaker 3: We're not mind readers. So part of it's going to
Speaker 3: be at some point to invest in this person if
Speaker 3: you think they're high quality, because they don't know your
Speaker 3: style what you need and say, hey, just so you
Speaker 3: know I need this from you.
Speaker 2: Okay, Let's say you met someone and things were going well,
Speaker 2: You went on three or four dates and you slept
Speaker 2: with them. You thought it was great, you just really connected.
Speaker 2: And then I don't want to say that. I don't
Speaker 2: know what ghosting technically means. But let's say that they
Speaker 2: disappear for two days. Like you thought you were on
Speaker 2: a good clip. You're in your head, You're thinking you
Speaker 2: said something, you did something, you wore something. What are
Speaker 2: you are you supposed to because I've heard match their energy,
Speaker 2: So are you supposed to, like now go dark also
Speaker 2: for two days?
Speaker 1: Take the hint? Are you supposed to lean in? Lean out?
Speaker 1: What are people supposed to do?
Speaker 2: Because I think girls get very reactionary and spiteful.
Speaker 3: Well, I think that's where sometimes our beautiful brains take
Speaker 3: over and we overthink and we ca tastrifized. So I
Speaker 3: think one act right, love not fear, and so intuitive
Speaker 3: thoughts are like calming and they're rooted in reality. Too
Speaker 3: often we start believing the negation of chatter in our
Speaker 3: own minds that we manufacture, or our friends are telling
Speaker 3: us the cynics like forget him, You're better than that,
Speaker 3: And it's like, no, what if he's just like in
Speaker 3: the middle of closing a deal, or he has COVID
Speaker 3: or something happened. It's like, just breathe and realize in
Speaker 3: time you're going to get the answer. But silent the
Speaker 3: cynic in yourself and others and realize that invasive thoughts,
Speaker 3: you know, create the drama, but intuitive thoughts solve the problem.
Speaker 2: I think that's a great like name for a chapter.
Speaker 2: Don't catastrophize, but I think I don't think that's the
Speaker 2: time to lean in. I think the matching energy rule
Speaker 2: is good there. I do think it really is situational.
Speaker 2: But I do think not to catastrophize, not to blame
Speaker 2: and put all of your thoughts and theories and I
Speaker 2: pat this right on them, because then you're manufacturing drama
Speaker 2: and it could be nothing there. Now, if through his actions,
Speaker 2: his words and actions don't match, then you have someone
Speaker 2: that probably isn't that's a bad and not good for you.
Speaker 2: So you think someone could be a bad actor that
Speaker 2: like they're with you and they're making you feel like
Speaker 2: it's great because maybe they want to get late or
Speaker 2: maybe that's just why not do that because they could
Speaker 2: suck another girl in and then they just turn the
Speaker 2: switch off because they were acting that happens you're saying
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 3: Or they could have an unhealthy a coupling ability, Like
Speaker 3: it's just it's this dysfunction on them where they love
Speaker 3: it in the beginning, and then when things get serious
Speaker 3: and meaningful, they don't have the coping skills or the
Speaker 3: healthy relationship coupling abilities. So that's why as we blame ourselves,
Speaker 3: that's something we must have done. We don't look pretty enough,
Speaker 3: or something I said or and kind of have nothing
Speaker 3: to do with us. And that's why I truly believe
Speaker 3: whenever you can give someone the benefit of the doubt,
Speaker 3: but pay attention to date through the seasons. This is
Speaker 3: where I'm like, he's not a rush, it's not a panic.
Speaker 3: And you always want to match our someone's words and
Speaker 3: actions aligned and always ask yourself are my actions and
Speaker 3: words aligned? Because it's so easy to always have these
Speaker 3: expectations for somebody else, but you also have to take
Speaker 3: ownership of are your actions in words aligning? Being a
Speaker 3: matchmaker and focusing on love. I feel like it's so
Speaker 3: great for my marriage because I check myself on what
Speaker 3: I do confessionally and giving people advice of realizing you
Speaker 3: want to be the best person to your partner as well,
Speaker 3: and sometimes that's listening. It's like that skill that people
Speaker 3: you know that is lost, right, It's like the little
Speaker 3: things of just making sure that you're treating someone how
Speaker 3: you want to be treated as well.
Speaker 2: Okay, so where are you on this textual relationship these
Speaker 2: pen pals, like how does a person stop it down?
Speaker 2: Because you don't want to seem too ornery and being
Speaker 2: like I'd rather not text, let's call, or like that's so,
Speaker 2: where do you stand on when you're kind of in
Speaker 2: a textual relationship with someone until you see them? What
Speaker 2: about the text? What about the phone? What about the FaceTime?
Speaker 2: What about the meeting?
Speaker 3: It's so confusing, right, Like there's so much much and
Speaker 3: everyone's different. I also think a lot of men that
Speaker 3: don't want to text throughout the day, and then someone
Speaker 3: could be offended like, oh my gosh, he's such a
Speaker 3: bad texture. But what if it's not his style and
Speaker 3: like he's in his career and he's he's not on
Speaker 3: the man own right, he's doing other things and it's
Speaker 3: not his So you have to realize what matters most
Speaker 3: is how he treats you in person and in the relationship.
Speaker 3: But he might not be a text or he might
Speaker 3: be a phone person. Get that fulfilled through your girlfriends
Speaker 3: or someone that enjoys that type of style. But sometimes
Speaker 3: people are like their rep peeve is like someone that's
Speaker 3: texting throughout the day and they're each line is they're
Speaker 3: hitting you know, send, and it's just it could be
Speaker 3: a lot, So just be mindful.
Speaker 2: So here's the problem. Here's here's cause you're not dating anymore.
Speaker 2: And I know you see it all the time, but
Speaker 2: like it feels different when it's actually you. So here's
Speaker 2: what happens. Someone text you I had a great time.
Speaker 2: You text them back. Then you're thinking about, oh, they
Speaker 2: only hearted my text. Then you think someone's like, well
Speaker 2: you should respond with something, don't just smiley face their thing.
Speaker 2: And then you give a response, and then if they
Speaker 2: don't respond back to you, and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: want to be in this at all. I don't want
Speaker 2: to be in a pen pal relationship. But then you're
Speaker 2: sort of being punitive because you're not responding, and you're
Speaker 2: kind of like, I don't like I think it's a
Speaker 2: toxic dynamic. I despise it, but it's a necessary evil. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I do think it's a necessary evil. I think less
Speaker 2: is more. I think don't write paragraphs at some point you.
Speaker 3: It's always that the dynamic of like who's going to
Speaker 3: get the last word and how is it going to end?
Speaker 3: So I do think a heart or ah or something
Speaker 3: isn't nice. But if you want to say something and
Speaker 3: say nothing, just be like cute, smiley face or something
Speaker 3: playful but so short that it's just quick. It's not
Speaker 3: a whole novel and it's not reopening the conversation with
Speaker 3: questions and talking. I think real conversation should happen in person,
Speaker 3: by phone, anything but a text or an email, okay,
Speaker 3: but playful, cute, flirty, like I think technology could be
Speaker 3: an asset if you use it not to replace real
Speaker 3: conversations in person or on the phone. And I think
Speaker 3: less is more, And I think it's okay to let
Speaker 3: somebody have the last word and not have to feel
Speaker 3: like it's novels and be a little bit of a
Speaker 3: mystery and leave them wanting a little bit more. Not
Speaker 3: game playing, but just no.
Speaker 2: I think you're right, Okay, So don't catastrophize and do
Speaker 2: not text in paragraphs. Text cute, sweet, hope you're having
Speaker 2: a nice day. This is what text is for. Hope,
Speaker 2: you're having a nice day, thinking of you. I'll see
Speaker 2: you at the bar.
Speaker 3: Six is good, like hey, hands like a little ego
Speaker 3: stroke is good. Men like to feel like a hero,
Speaker 3: not a zero. So they do need a little reinforcement
Speaker 3: like okay, she's into me. As long as it's authentic
Speaker 3: and from the heart, I'm all for it. But playful,
Speaker 3: not sterile like business corporate, you know, boring. But also
Speaker 3: don't be something you're not, like if you're not an
Speaker 3: emoji person, then don't use it.
Speaker 2: No, but you're right about the share. People shouldn't be
Speaker 2: having discussions over text. That's a great note that everybody
Speaker 2: breaks that rule and everybody should stop that.
Speaker 3: But one thing that I think is cute, whether it's playful,
Speaker 3: whether you're in a relationship and you leave a post
Speaker 3: it for someone to see when they're the next day
Speaker 3: at work or in a drawer, or you're on a
Speaker 3: date you text in the bathroom like I'm on the
Speaker 3: hot date with the hottest guy, like wow, like playful,
Speaker 3: and then they get in the phone like waiting for
Speaker 3: you're like, oh my gosh, she's into me. Just something cute.
Speaker 3: If you feel like it's that's good. Do like use
Speaker 3: technology as a way to flirt.
Speaker 1: That's a great note.
Speaker 2: So you're not using it to share about your life,
Speaker 2: but using it to flirt.
Speaker 1: It's a tool.
Speaker 3: And the other thing is when you go on a
Speaker 3: date with someone that just treated you to a wonderful experience, dinner,
Speaker 3: whatever it might be. Sometimes women will stand on like
Speaker 3: the principle I'm not reaching out to him, he needs
Speaker 3: totally the next day, and then the man's thinking, I
Speaker 3: just like wind and dined r. I put a lot
Speaker 3: of effort into the night. It would be so nice
Speaker 3: to get it and text that night being like home safe,
Speaker 3: hit a really enjoyable night, thanks for everything. It doesn't
Speaker 3: make you look desperate. It makes you look like you're
Speaker 3: like class act and that you were your appreciative.
Speaker 1: Yes, but let's make a rule for that. Not the
Speaker 1: next day.
Speaker 2: That night, that night you're in the cab, thank you
Speaker 2: so much, I had a great time.
Speaker 1: It still counts as that day on the diet like.
Speaker 3: To be it's better to be that night because, like
Speaker 3: you said, then if you want to be more traditional
Speaker 3: he reaches out next. But to thank someone I think
Speaker 3: is totally such a breath of fresh air to men
Speaker 3: that they'll be like, oh my gosh, she thanked me,
Speaker 3: Like that's so thoughtful. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even if you did it so you don't feel insecure,
Speaker 2: thank you for dinner. It was really nice. So it's
Speaker 2: like you're be doing the right thing. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 2: great note.
Speaker 3: And for men, for men listening, I think it's such
Speaker 3: a class act to say I want to make sure
Speaker 3: you get home safely. Please text me when you get home.
Speaker 3: It's so nice. It shows that you're car Oh, totally
Speaker 3: so nice. Whether they totally pay for your uber, wait
Speaker 3: for your uber to come, or give you the car service,
Speaker 3: whatever level it is, it's just a class act to
Speaker 3: wait for someone to uber arrive and go, do me favor,
Speaker 3: text me when you're home.
Speaker 2: So number one for the boys is say did you
Speaker 2: get home? Say for texting when you get home. I
Speaker 2: like that, it's just nice.
Speaker 3: Also, don't leave, don't with your uber rives first, don't
Speaker 3: take your uber. Either give someone your uber or wait
Speaker 3: until their uber comes.
Speaker 2: Somebody texted me like we were supposed to speak, but
Speaker 2: then they they said something like, oh, they got caught up.
Speaker 2: But then there was like a little button which was
Speaker 2: like sleep. Well, something simple like a little button goes
Speaker 2: such a long way. It's nothing, but it's everything. It's everything.
Speaker 3: It shows you're considerate, it shows you're a good communicator,
Speaker 3: it shows you're plugged in and engaged and thoughtful. It's
Speaker 3: it is everything.
Speaker 2: So the takeaway is that text is a tool to
Speaker 2: be used for flirtation, for information, for cute checking in,
Speaker 2: and just connectivity, but it's not it's the cock between
Speaker 2: the tiles.
Speaker 1: It's not the tiles.
Speaker 3: Yes, it could strengthen the relationship, but don't use it
Speaker 3: to ask the questions and to be insecure and to
Speaker 3: write novels. Say that for your girlfriends.
Speaker 2: Okay, I love that. That's like a big one. Okay, great.
Speaker 2: So we talked about sex, but sort of in a
Speaker 2: black and white way. Now I want to talk about
Speaker 2: I don't think that women's emotions not I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm positive that women's emotions are not caught up with
Speaker 2: their bodies, especially if they've been sex starved, or they
Speaker 2: want to get some, or they're attracted, or they're drinking.
Speaker 1: Alcohol can be the worst for the situation.
Speaker 2: So how do we we let women know and women
Speaker 2: who are going to let their daughters know, like when
Speaker 2: they're going off to college and you know in these
Speaker 2: high school ages that they're not emotionally necessarily prepared to
Speaker 2: where their body may want them to be. And I'm
Speaker 2: not targeting this to college kids. I'm just saying it
Speaker 2: made me think of something that's great to intellectually explain
Speaker 2: to a young person, because I think that as adults
Speaker 2: we even get in that point where like, you want it,
Speaker 2: but are you going to be okay with the next day?
Speaker 1: Forgot it? But they didn't call.
Speaker 3: You before we get to sex. One thing that leads
Speaker 3: up to that that plays in a role is knowing
Speaker 3: your limit of alcohol and food. I feel like both
Speaker 3: of those play a role in making decisions. I would
Speaker 3: say when you're new to dating, sometimes you don't even
Speaker 3: know that, Like you want to eat on a date
Speaker 3: so you don't look like you're not interested or you're
Speaker 3: that girl that doesn't eat, but you also want to
Speaker 3: make sure that you have a little food and hydrate
Speaker 3: before so that when at the restaurant they keep pouring
Speaker 3: the wine.
Speaker 2: That's the problem, the topping off, and I always feel
Speaker 2: like a bitch when I'm like, Hi, can you just
Speaker 2: I'm like, can you not fill my glass up? Because
Speaker 2: I'm on a date now and I don't know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying and I'm literally like on reality TV where
Speaker 2: I've just said something that's already out there and I
Speaker 2: don't know what it was because you topped off my glass.
Speaker 3: No, I always just go like, thank you, I'm good,
Speaker 3: and then wait till you know your limit.
Speaker 2: Wait to read the same thing, wait till we I
Speaker 2: want to do a whole podcast on topic of wait
Speaker 2: till the till the glass is empty. I don't want
Speaker 2: the glass to be half full. I want the glass
Speaker 2: to be fully empty.
Speaker 3: No, because what happens is you're if you're excited and
Speaker 3: you're drinking and you don't even know, then it can
Speaker 3: lead to poor decisions. Whatever that might be. It could
Speaker 3: be what comes out of your mouth verbally, non totally everything.
Speaker 3: But when it comes to sex, so one I would say,
Speaker 3: I always say.
Speaker 2: But the or even intimacy other than sex, something that's personal,
Speaker 2: your body's touching or whatever, oral sex.
Speaker 3: By the time you get to be like, you know,
Speaker 3: early twenties, you should know your limited on alcohol, what
Speaker 3: you need in your body, all of those things. But
Speaker 3: it happens when people go through divorces and start dating again,
Speaker 3: no matter what era it is, and realize that they
Speaker 3: just have to re understand what their limit is before
Speaker 3: they don't feel like they're making.
Speaker 1: Oh women mind, just don't know their limits.
Speaker 3: Well, that's you're excited. They get excited, and so you
Speaker 3: have to relearn it. You have to relearn it in
Speaker 3: you know, high school, college, post college, and then again
Speaker 3: in our forties fifties, we just you need to reassess
Speaker 3: what that means.
Speaker 2: So that's a great point because in your twenties you
Speaker 2: do know your tolerance. Sometimes you do get sick and
Speaker 2: you go too far, but you kind of know your
Speaker 2: tolerance as you're older. Even alcohol, as it pertains to
Speaker 2: health issues, your body doesn't metabolize it.
Speaker 1: You have a different tolerance in metabolism.
Speaker 3: Differently. You also in college you're drinking more, so you
Speaker 3: have a higher level. You're also drinking different kinds of drinks,
Speaker 3: and it's just different. And it could be part of
Speaker 3: a recipe for disaster of someone not wanting to see
Speaker 3: you again because the decisions that were, the actions that
Speaker 3: you display that night. But now, in terms of sex,
Speaker 3: I would say teaching women's lesson that you are the
Speaker 3: main character in your life. It's not you're waiting to
Speaker 3: be chosen. You're doing the choosing and you're part of
Speaker 3: the selection process. The same thing with the decisions you
Speaker 3: make about your body. No one could judge whether it's
Speaker 3: too soon or not soon enough. Don't play that game
Speaker 3: with yourself. It's like a lose lose scenario. If you're
Speaker 3: into this person and you want to go for it,
Speaker 3: he's not gonna not want to be with you because
Speaker 3: of that scenario. But trust yourself, realizing what are the
Speaker 3: boundaries that if the next day you're gonna have major
Speaker 3: regrets and it's gonna set you so back emotionally and
Speaker 3: then it's not worth it.
Speaker 2: I think you move to that too quickly because I
Speaker 2: think that that's what does happen. I think that it
Speaker 2: does feel good and you want to do it, and
Speaker 2: you think it's great, and the next day you don't
Speaker 2: know why the person didn't call. It could have been
Speaker 2: you could have been the best sex they ever had
Speaker 2: in their life. But they are getting back together with
Speaker 2: their ex gral Funk cause they called in the middle
Speaker 2: of the night, like there could be a thousand things
Speaker 2: that happened.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. You don't know what it is,
Speaker 3: and it doesn't mean it's because you were intimate with
Speaker 3: that person.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: The question is if you could handle the heat, go
Speaker 3: for it. If you can't, don't do it, because it's
Speaker 3: gonna set yourself up emotionally too much for setback, and
Speaker 3: that's not fair to do yourself or to the next
Speaker 3: person that you're with, because then you're gonna say you're
Speaker 3: gonna react to the last person that didn't call you
Speaker 3: because of that action. It might have no nothing to
Speaker 3: do with you.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that women want an unwritten contract from
Speaker 2: a guy that if they sleep with them, that guy's
Speaker 2: gonna call them and like be very interested in their dating.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing I think people have to first
Speaker 2: break it down even further and say, like, there are
Speaker 2: no guarantees I'm sleeping with this man because I want
Speaker 2: to sleep with this man.
Speaker 3: There's no guarantees in life about anything.
Speaker 2: Right, So he's not gonna be my boyfriend, he's not
Speaker 2: dating me, he doesn't have to call me nowhere, he
Speaker 2: owes me nothing.
Speaker 1: But what we're doing right now.
Speaker 3: Contract is with yourself, because there's no way that you
Speaker 3: have control over anyone's actions, what they do tomorrow. So
Speaker 3: you have to realize, Okay, how do I feel the
Speaker 3: next day? Even if he calls you, You're still gonna
Speaker 3: be insecure to say, is it's gonna matter now? Is
Speaker 3: it expected? Each time? I mean, there's always, That's what
Speaker 3: I'm saying. Sometimes the beautiful brains we overthink. The biggest
Speaker 3: the most important advice I would say is just enjoy
Speaker 3: every day. Don't get so ahead where you're playing games
Speaker 3: in your mind, where you're creating, manufacturing issues that don't exist.
Speaker 3: The way to cast a spell on someone is just
Speaker 3: to be your happy, authentic self. Guys, love people that
Speaker 3: are interesting, interested, living wonderful lives and a healthy self esteem,
Speaker 3: and just lead with that and everything will the right
Speaker 3: person will present themselves