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Speaker 1: Hey, Hello, Hello, Hello. How's it going. We are winding

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Speaker 1: down summer.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I see a lot on social media

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Speaker 2: Barbie about like summertime sadness, and I was going to

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Speaker 2: ask you how summertime affects dating Like I would think,

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Speaker 2: on one hand, it's very social and people are meeting people,

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Speaker 2: But on the other hand, people are away and it's

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Speaker 2: like finding a job. It's probably not the best time

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Speaker 2: to enter the dating market. What do you say about that.

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Speaker 3: There's never a wrong season. I think there's always an

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Speaker 3: excuse to make it seem like something's not the right

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Speaker 3: time to enter, But I think for every season there's

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Speaker 3: actually like an upside. So the fact that everyone has

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Speaker 3: been traveling over the summer, I think it's great time

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Speaker 3: to meet people because usually people are a little bit

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Speaker 3: more wanting to find someone before things in some markets

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Speaker 3: where it's winter and it's like coffing season, so I

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Speaker 3: think it's a great time to prioritize your love life

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Speaker 3: and to embrace or it gets cold to meet someone.

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Speaker 3: You think about all the celebrations that happen in fourth

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Speaker 3: quarter where you start taking stock of, Okay, another year,

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Speaker 3: what do I have to show for in my personal life.

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Speaker 3: I think it's a great time to leverage fall.

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Speaker 1: Like holidays are coming up.

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Speaker 3: And New Year's Yeah, and like sometimes it could be

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Speaker 3: a lot of pressure, but I also look at it

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Speaker 3: like take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy. But

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Speaker 3: like anything else that you have to prioritize, whether it's

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Speaker 3: a doctor's appointment and self care, you have to prioritize

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Speaker 3: your love life. So don't use excuses like, oh, everyone's traveling,

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Speaker 3: everybody's busy. Look at its like, no everyone you know

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Speaker 3: people that are ready for love. Doesn't matter what the

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Speaker 3: season is. Embrace that it's fall and it's still beautiful

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Speaker 3: and mean, I know where I live, like September if

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Speaker 3: the fall is like the most is a beautiful time

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Speaker 3: of year.

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Speaker 2: So don't make excuses saying you're not going to deal

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Speaker 2: with it until no. Okay, yeah, So how does someone

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Speaker 2: balance wanting to be proactive and being patient, trusting the process,

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Speaker 2: but also wanting to be in the process. How does

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Speaker 2: someone find that balance?

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Speaker 3: I think once you've taken a temperature read and realize, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I want to be a wee, I want to find

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Speaker 3: my person. I have worked on myself. I'm in a

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Speaker 3: good place I'm in the best place I've been, and

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Speaker 3: you practice things that are going to help you, like

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Speaker 3: figuring out and taking an audit of what do I

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Speaker 3: need to do to find love? Is that I need

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Speaker 3: to carve out time? Do I need to heal my heart?

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Speaker 3: Is it just carving out like where I'm meeting this

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Speaker 3: person and changing like what my strategy is. But I

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Speaker 3: also think that patience is one of the most important

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Speaker 3: ingredients in finding love. I think like logically, we know

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Speaker 3: that take takes time to bake a custom dress, a

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Speaker 3: custom couch, you order a car you want, it takes

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Speaker 3: time for it to arrive. But when it comes to

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Speaker 3: your love life, you want it. And that's where people

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Speaker 3: make a big mistake that's super costly because it could

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Speaker 3: have lots of setbacks of them realizing that they're going

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Speaker 3: to settle. And I truly believe that settling is the

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Speaker 3: quickest way to have a disaster on your hands and

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Speaker 3: having divorce attorney in your phone. So the kindest thing

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Speaker 3: you could do yourself is during your dating era to

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Speaker 3: love every minute and give yourself the gift of inner peace.

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Speaker 3: So I like to use analogy in the financial market,

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Speaker 3: and it's called patient capital. So in order to have

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Speaker 3: long term gains in equity market, sometimes it requires being

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Speaker 3: patient because when there's a down market, you can't get

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Speaker 3: hysterical and pull your money and opt out of something.

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Speaker 3: You have to say, Okay, I've been here before, this

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Speaker 3: is not my first rodeo. I know that whether it's

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Speaker 3: a period of time, a couple months or a couple

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Speaker 3: of years, that it's going to correct itself. And then

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Speaker 3: the ones that have the patience and aren't hysterical are

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Speaker 3: the ones that gain same thing with your love life,

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Speaker 3: the ones that realize they're dating some equality, so they

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Speaker 3: know they're worth they know they're dating some equality. There's

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Speaker 3: no rush. You have to realize that good things will

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Speaker 3: come when you pack some patience, and you will win

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Speaker 3: with that attitude. Sometimes we are there's so much noise

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Speaker 3: in our lives that we are quick to boot someone

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Speaker 3: off our island. And so in some ways it's good

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Speaker 3: because the safeguards your time. If you just get the

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Speaker 3: ick and you realize this is it my person, but

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Speaker 3: if it's a good, high quality person, just enjoy your

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Speaker 3: life and have confidence in yourself and realize that patience

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Speaker 3: is going to be your The secret ingredients to help

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Speaker 3: you find the right person.

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Speaker 2: It's funny that you bring that up, because I think

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Speaker 2: people have to learn the line between the dick and

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Speaker 2: something that may just turn you off. So there could

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Speaker 2: be an ick where you're just like actually, ugh, you know,

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Speaker 2: and it might happen a couple of times and you

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Speaker 2: gaslight yourself because you know that the person's good on paper,

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Speaker 2: and so then you try to like justify it. I've

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Speaker 2: done this so many times. Yeah, and then you really

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Speaker 2: finally get the final blow of the ick. And I

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Speaker 2: think at any point with the ick, you don't really

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Speaker 2: have to be that. I don't mean don't be compassion

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Speaker 2: if you think the person's nice, but I mean you

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Speaker 2: got to get yourself the hell out of there, because

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Speaker 2: that's how you get in the wrong car. But I

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Speaker 2: think to your point, there are people that maybe aren't

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Speaker 2: acting in the way you would like them to be acting,

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Speaker 2: and that's different. Like you said, there could be an

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Speaker 2: illness in the family you don't know about. They could

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Speaker 2: be going through a terrible time. It works, they could

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Speaker 2: be sick, and they're not going to tell you. Get

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Speaker 2: you too early. So I think that that's a good

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Speaker 2: delineation to make and how does someone deal with the

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Speaker 2: patience of Part B. Like, let's say someone's texting back

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Speaker 2: and forth, or the communication style is not great, or

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Speaker 2: someone's not calling the way they want, or whatever the

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Speaker 2: thing is, someone sends too many pictures of their kids

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Speaker 2: or gets too comfortable right away. How do you deal

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Speaker 2: with someone not having a communication style that you're comfortable with.

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Speaker 3: You have to differentiate between a different communications style that

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Speaker 3: you're not comfortable with versus one that's healthy and unhealthy,

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Speaker 3: because you might have been exposed not you, but one

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Speaker 3: it might be exposed to an unhealthy way of communicating

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Speaker 3: that you feel safe with. But really it's not a

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Speaker 3: healthy communications style. I really wish I always joke, but

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Speaker 3: that No, we don't come with owners manuals, right, So

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Speaker 3: there is no roadmap and two people's connection until you

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Speaker 3: actually start communicating. It's there could be so many misfires

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Speaker 3: or miscommunications or connecting the dots and accurately about someone.

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Speaker 3: We're not mind readers. So part of it's going to

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Speaker 3: be at some point to invest in this person if

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Speaker 3: you think they're high quality, because they don't know your

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Speaker 3: style what you need and say, hey, just so you

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Speaker 3: know I need this from you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Let's say you met someone and things were going well,

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Speaker 2: You went on three or four dates and you slept

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Speaker 2: with them. You thought it was great, you just really connected.

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Speaker 2: And then I don't want to say that. I don't

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Speaker 2: know what ghosting technically means. But let's say that they

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Speaker 2: disappear for two days. Like you thought you were on

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Speaker 2: a good clip. You're in your head, You're thinking you

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Speaker 2: said something, you did something, you wore something. What are

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Speaker 2: you are you supposed to because I've heard match their energy,

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Speaker 2: So are you supposed to, like now go dark also

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Speaker 2: for two days?

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Speaker 1: Take the hint? Are you supposed to lean in? Lean out?

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Speaker 1: What are people supposed to do?

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Speaker 2: Because I think girls get very reactionary and spiteful.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's where sometimes our beautiful brains take

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Speaker 3: over and we overthink and we ca tastrifized. So I

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Speaker 3: think one act right, love not fear, and so intuitive

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Speaker 3: thoughts are like calming and they're rooted in reality. Too

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Speaker 3: often we start believing the negation of chatter in our

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Speaker 3: own minds that we manufacture, or our friends are telling

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Speaker 3: us the cynics like forget him, You're better than that,

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Speaker 3: And it's like, no, what if he's just like in

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Speaker 3: the middle of closing a deal, or he has COVID

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Speaker 3: or something happened. It's like, just breathe and realize in

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Speaker 3: time you're going to get the answer. But silent the

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Speaker 3: cynic in yourself and others and realize that invasive thoughts,

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Speaker 3: you know, create the drama, but intuitive thoughts solve the problem.

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Speaker 2: I think that's a great like name for a chapter.

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Speaker 2: Don't catastrophize, but I think I don't think that's the

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Speaker 2: time to lean in. I think the matching energy rule

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Speaker 2: is good there. I do think it really is situational.

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Speaker 2: But I do think not to catastrophize, not to blame

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Speaker 2: and put all of your thoughts and theories and I

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Speaker 2: pat this right on them, because then you're manufacturing drama

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Speaker 2: and it could be nothing there. Now, if through his actions,

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Speaker 2: his words and actions don't match, then you have someone

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Speaker 2: that probably isn't that's a bad and not good for you.

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Speaker 2: So you think someone could be a bad actor that

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Speaker 2: like they're with you and they're making you feel like

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Speaker 2: it's great because maybe they want to get late or

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Speaker 2: maybe that's just why not do that because they could

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Speaker 2: suck another girl in and then they just turn the

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Speaker 2: switch off because they were acting that happens you're saying

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Speaker 2: a lot.

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Speaker 3: Or they could have an unhealthy a coupling ability, Like

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Speaker 3: it's just it's this dysfunction on them where they love

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Speaker 3: it in the beginning, and then when things get serious

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Speaker 3: and meaningful, they don't have the coping skills or the

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Speaker 3: healthy relationship coupling abilities. So that's why as we blame ourselves,

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Speaker 3: that's something we must have done. We don't look pretty enough,

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Speaker 3: or something I said or and kind of have nothing

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Speaker 3: to do with us. And that's why I truly believe

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Speaker 3: whenever you can give someone the benefit of the doubt,

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Speaker 3: but pay attention to date through the seasons. This is

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Speaker 3: where I'm like, he's not a rush, it's not a panic.

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Speaker 3: And you always want to match our someone's words and

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Speaker 3: actions aligned and always ask yourself are my actions and

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Speaker 3: words aligned? Because it's so easy to always have these

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Speaker 3: expectations for somebody else, but you also have to take

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Speaker 3: ownership of are your actions in words aligning? Being a

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Speaker 3: matchmaker and focusing on love. I feel like it's so

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Speaker 3: great for my marriage because I check myself on what

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Speaker 3: I do confessionally and giving people advice of realizing you

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Speaker 3: want to be the best person to your partner as well,

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Speaker 3: and sometimes that's listening. It's like that skill that people

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Speaker 3: you know that is lost, right, It's like the little

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Speaker 3: things of just making sure that you're treating someone how

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Speaker 3: you want to be treated as well.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so where are you on this textual relationship these

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Speaker 2: pen pals, like how does a person stop it down?

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Speaker 2: Because you don't want to seem too ornery and being

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Speaker 2: like I'd rather not text, let's call, or like that's so,

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Speaker 2: where do you stand on when you're kind of in

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Speaker 2: a textual relationship with someone until you see them? What

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Speaker 2: about the text? What about the phone? What about the FaceTime?

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Speaker 2: What about the meeting?

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Speaker 3: It's so confusing, right, Like there's so much much and

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Speaker 3: everyone's different. I also think a lot of men that

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Speaker 3: don't want to text throughout the day, and then someone

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Speaker 3: could be offended like, oh my gosh, he's such a

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Speaker 3: bad texture. But what if it's not his style and

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Speaker 3: like he's in his career and he's he's not on

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Speaker 3: the man own right, he's doing other things and it's

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Speaker 3: not his So you have to realize what matters most

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Speaker 3: is how he treats you in person and in the relationship.

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Speaker 3: But he might not be a text or he might

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Speaker 3: be a phone person. Get that fulfilled through your girlfriends

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Speaker 3: or someone that enjoys that type of style. But sometimes

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Speaker 3: people are like their rep peeve is like someone that's

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Speaker 3: texting throughout the day and they're each line is they're

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Speaker 3: hitting you know, send, and it's just it could be

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Speaker 3: a lot, So just be mindful.

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Speaker 2: So here's the problem. Here's here's cause you're not dating anymore.

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Speaker 2: And I know you see it all the time, but

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Speaker 2: like it feels different when it's actually you. So here's

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Speaker 2: what happens. Someone text you I had a great time.

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Speaker 2: You text them back. Then you're thinking about, oh, they

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Speaker 2: only hearted my text. Then you think someone's like, well

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Speaker 2: you should respond with something, don't just smiley face their thing.

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Speaker 2: And then you give a response, and then if they

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Speaker 2: don't respond back to you, and I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be in this at all. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to be in a pen pal relationship. But then you're

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Speaker 2: sort of being punitive because you're not responding, and you're

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Speaker 2: kind of like, I don't like I think it's a

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Speaker 2: toxic dynamic. I despise it, but it's a necessary evil. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I do think it's a necessary evil. I think less

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Speaker 2: is more. I think don't write paragraphs at some point you.

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Speaker 3: It's always that the dynamic of like who's going to

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Speaker 3: get the last word and how is it going to end?

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Speaker 3: So I do think a heart or ah or something

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Speaker 3: isn't nice. But if you want to say something and

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Speaker 3: say nothing, just be like cute, smiley face or something

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Speaker 3: playful but so short that it's just quick. It's not

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Speaker 3: a whole novel and it's not reopening the conversation with

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Speaker 3: questions and talking. I think real conversation should happen in person,

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Speaker 3: by phone, anything but a text or an email, okay,

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Speaker 3: but playful, cute, flirty, like I think technology could be

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Speaker 3: an asset if you use it not to replace real

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Speaker 3: conversations in person or on the phone. And I think

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Speaker 3: less is more, And I think it's okay to let

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Speaker 3: somebody have the last word and not have to feel

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Speaker 3: like it's novels and be a little bit of a

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Speaker 3: mystery and leave them wanting a little bit more. Not

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Speaker 3: game playing, but just no.

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Speaker 2: I think you're right, Okay, So don't catastrophize and do

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Speaker 2: not text in paragraphs. Text cute, sweet, hope you're having

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Speaker 2: a nice day. This is what text is for. Hope,

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Speaker 2: you're having a nice day, thinking of you. I'll see

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Speaker 2: you at the bar.

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Speaker 3: Six is good, like hey, hands like a little ego

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Speaker 3: stroke is good. Men like to feel like a hero,

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Speaker 3: not a zero. So they do need a little reinforcement

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Speaker 3: like okay, she's into me. As long as it's authentic

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Speaker 3: and from the heart, I'm all for it. But playful,

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Speaker 3: not sterile like business corporate, you know, boring. But also

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Speaker 3: don't be something you're not, like if you're not an

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Speaker 3: emoji person, then don't use it.

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Speaker 2: No, but you're right about the share. People shouldn't be

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Speaker 2: having discussions over text. That's a great note that everybody

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Speaker 2: breaks that rule and everybody should stop that.

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Speaker 3: But one thing that I think is cute, whether it's playful,

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Speaker 3: whether you're in a relationship and you leave a post

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Speaker 3: it for someone to see when they're the next day

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Speaker 3: at work or in a drawer, or you're on a

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Speaker 3: date you text in the bathroom like I'm on the

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Speaker 3: hot date with the hottest guy, like wow, like playful,

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Speaker 3: and then they get in the phone like waiting for

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Speaker 3: you're like, oh my gosh, she's into me. Just something cute.

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Speaker 3: If you feel like it's that's good. Do like use

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Speaker 3: technology as a way to flirt.

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Speaker 1: That's a great note.

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Speaker 2: So you're not using it to share about your life,

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Speaker 2: but using it to flirt.

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Speaker 1: It's a tool.

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Speaker 3: And the other thing is when you go on a

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Speaker 3: date with someone that just treated you to a wonderful experience, dinner,

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Speaker 3: whatever it might be. Sometimes women will stand on like

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Speaker 3: the principle I'm not reaching out to him, he needs

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Speaker 3: totally the next day, and then the man's thinking, I

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Speaker 3: just like wind and dined r. I put a lot

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Speaker 3: of effort into the night. It would be so nice

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Speaker 3: to get it and text that night being like home safe,

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Speaker 3: hit a really enjoyable night, thanks for everything. It doesn't

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Speaker 3: make you look desperate. It makes you look like you're

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Speaker 3: like class act and that you were your appreciative.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but let's make a rule for that. Not the

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Speaker 1: next day.

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Speaker 2: That night, that night you're in the cab, thank you

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Speaker 2: so much, I had a great time.

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Speaker 1: It still counts as that day on the diet like.

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Speaker 3: To be it's better to be that night because, like

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Speaker 3: you said, then if you want to be more traditional

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Speaker 3: he reaches out next. But to thank someone I think

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Speaker 3: is totally such a breath of fresh air to men

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Speaker 3: that they'll be like, oh my gosh, she thanked me,

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Speaker 3: Like that's so thoughtful. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, even if you did it so you don't feel insecure,

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Speaker 2: thank you for dinner. It was really nice. So it's

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Speaker 2: like you're be doing the right thing. Yeah, that's a

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Speaker 2: great note.

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Speaker 3: And for men, for men listening, I think it's such

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Speaker 3: a class act to say I want to make sure

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Speaker 3: you get home safely. Please text me when you get home.

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Speaker 3: It's so nice. It shows that you're car Oh, totally

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Speaker 3: so nice. Whether they totally pay for your uber, wait

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Speaker 3: for your uber to come, or give you the car service,

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Speaker 3: whatever level it is, it's just a class act to

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Speaker 3: wait for someone to uber arrive and go, do me favor,

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Speaker 3: text me when you're home.

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Speaker 2: So number one for the boys is say did you

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Speaker 2: get home? Say for texting when you get home. I

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Speaker 2: like that, it's just nice.

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Speaker 3: Also, don't leave, don't with your uber rives first, don't

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Speaker 3: take your uber. Either give someone your uber or wait

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Speaker 3: until their uber comes.

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Speaker 2: Somebody texted me like we were supposed to speak, but

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Speaker 2: then they they said something like, oh, they got caught up.

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Speaker 2: But then there was like a little button which was

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Speaker 2: like sleep. Well, something simple like a little button goes

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Speaker 2: such a long way. It's nothing, but it's everything. It's everything.

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Speaker 3: It shows you're considerate, it shows you're a good communicator,

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Speaker 3: it shows you're plugged in and engaged and thoughtful. It's

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Speaker 3: it is everything.

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Speaker 2: So the takeaway is that text is a tool to

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00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:58,000
Speaker 2: be used for flirtation, for information, for cute checking in,

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Speaker 2: and just connectivity, but it's not it's the cock between

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Speaker 2: the tiles.

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Speaker 1: It's not the tiles.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it could strengthen the relationship, but don't use it

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00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 3: to ask the questions and to be insecure and to

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Speaker 3: write novels. Say that for your girlfriends.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I love that. That's like a big one. Okay, great.

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Speaker 2: So we talked about sex, but sort of in a

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Speaker 2: black and white way. Now I want to talk about

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Speaker 2: I don't think that women's emotions not I don't think

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Speaker 2: I'm positive that women's emotions are not caught up with

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Speaker 2: their bodies, especially if they've been sex starved, or they

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Speaker 2: want to get some, or they're attracted, or they're drinking.

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Speaker 1: Alcohol can be the worst for the situation.

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Speaker 2: So how do we we let women know and women

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Speaker 2: who are going to let their daughters know, like when

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Speaker 2: they're going off to college and you know in these

355
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:51,840
Speaker 2: high school ages that they're not emotionally necessarily prepared to

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Speaker 2: where their body may want them to be. And I'm

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Speaker 2: not targeting this to college kids. I'm just saying it

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Speaker 2: made me think of something that's great to intellectually explain

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Speaker 2: to a young person, because I think that as adults

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Speaker 2: we even get in that point where like, you want it,

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Speaker 2: but are you going to be okay with the next day?

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Speaker 1: Forgot it? But they didn't call.

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Speaker 3: You before we get to sex. One thing that leads

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00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 3: up to that that plays in a role is knowing

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Speaker 3: your limit of alcohol and food. I feel like both

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Speaker 3: of those play a role in making decisions. I would

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Speaker 3: say when you're new to dating, sometimes you don't even

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Speaker 3: know that, Like you want to eat on a date

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Speaker 3: so you don't look like you're not interested or you're

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Speaker 3: that girl that doesn't eat, but you also want to

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Speaker 3: make sure that you have a little food and hydrate

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Speaker 3: before so that when at the restaurant they keep pouring

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Speaker 3: the wine.

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Speaker 2: That's the problem, the topping off, and I always feel

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Speaker 2: like a bitch when I'm like, Hi, can you just

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Speaker 2: I'm like, can you not fill my glass up? Because

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Speaker 2: I'm on a date now and I don't know what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying and I'm literally like on reality TV where

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Speaker 2: I've just said something that's already out there and I

380
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Speaker 2: don't know what it was because you topped off my glass.

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Speaker 3: No, I always just go like, thank you, I'm good,

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Speaker 3: and then wait till you know your limit.

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Speaker 2: Wait to read the same thing, wait till we I

384
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,120
Speaker 2: want to do a whole podcast on topic of wait

385
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,719
Speaker 2: till the till the glass is empty. I don't want

386
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 2: the glass to be half full. I want the glass

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Speaker 2: to be fully empty.

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Speaker 3: No, because what happens is you're if you're excited and

389
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Speaker 3: you're drinking and you don't even know, then it can

390
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 3: lead to poor decisions. Whatever that might be. It could

391
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 3: be what comes out of your mouth verbally, non totally everything.

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Speaker 3: But when it comes to sex, so one I would say,

393
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Speaker 3: I always say.

394
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Speaker 2: But the or even intimacy other than sex, something that's personal,

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Speaker 2: your body's touching or whatever, oral sex.

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Speaker 3: By the time you get to be like, you know,

397
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 3: early twenties, you should know your limited on alcohol, what

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00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 3: you need in your body, all of those things. But

399
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Speaker 3: it happens when people go through divorces and start dating again,

400
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 3: no matter what era it is, and realize that they

401
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,919
Speaker 3: just have to re understand what their limit is before

402
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: they don't feel like they're making.

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Speaker 1: Oh women mind, just don't know their limits.

404
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 3: Well, that's you're excited. They get excited, and so you

405
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 3: have to relearn it. You have to relearn it in

406
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,919
Speaker 3: you know, high school, college, post college, and then again

407
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 3: in our forties fifties, we just you need to reassess

408
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 3: what that means.

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Speaker 2: So that's a great point because in your twenties you

410
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 2: do know your tolerance. Sometimes you do get sick and

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00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 2: you go too far, but you kind of know your

412
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 2: tolerance as you're older. Even alcohol, as it pertains to

413
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Speaker 2: health issues, your body doesn't metabolize it.

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Speaker 1: You have a different tolerance in metabolism.

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Speaker 3: Differently. You also in college you're drinking more, so you

416
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 3: have a higher level. You're also drinking different kinds of drinks,

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00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 3: and it's just different. And it could be part of

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Speaker 3: a recipe for disaster of someone not wanting to see

419
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Speaker 3: you again because the decisions that were, the actions that

420
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Speaker 3: you display that night. But now, in terms of sex,

421
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 3: I would say teaching women's lesson that you are the

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00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 3: main character in your life. It's not you're waiting to

423
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 3: be chosen. You're doing the choosing and you're part of

424
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Speaker 3: the selection process. The same thing with the decisions you

425
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 3: make about your body. No one could judge whether it's

426
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 3: too soon or not soon enough. Don't play that game

427
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 3: with yourself. It's like a lose lose scenario. If you're

428
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 3: into this person and you want to go for it,

429
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 3: he's not gonna not want to be with you because

430
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 3: of that scenario. But trust yourself, realizing what are the

431
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 3: boundaries that if the next day you're gonna have major

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Speaker 3: regrets and it's gonna set you so back emotionally and

433
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 3: then it's not worth it.

434
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 2: I think you move to that too quickly because I

435
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 2: think that that's what does happen. I think that it

436
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 2: does feel good and you want to do it, and

437
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 2: you think it's great, and the next day you don't

438
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 2: know why the person didn't call. It could have been

439
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,719
Speaker 2: you could have been the best sex they ever had

440
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 2: in their life. But they are getting back together with

441
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,120
Speaker 2: their ex gral Funk cause they called in the middle

442
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: of the night, like there could be a thousand things

443
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 2: that happened.

444
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. You don't know what it is,

445
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 3: and it doesn't mean it's because you were intimate with

446
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 3: that person.

447
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: Right.

448
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,679
Speaker 3: The question is if you could handle the heat, go

449
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 3: for it. If you can't, don't do it, because it's

450
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,479
Speaker 3: gonna set yourself up emotionally too much for setback, and

451
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 3: that's not fair to do yourself or to the next

452
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 3: person that you're with, because then you're gonna say you're

453
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 3: gonna react to the last person that didn't call you

454
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 3: because of that action. It might have no nothing to

455
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 3: do with you.

456
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 2: Well, I think that women want an unwritten contract from

457
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 2: a guy that if they sleep with them, that guy's

458
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 2: gonna call them and like be very interested in their dating.

459
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 2: And that's the thing I think people have to first

460
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 2: break it down even further and say, like, there are

461
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 2: no guarantees I'm sleeping with this man because I want

462
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 2: to sleep with this man.

463
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 3: There's no guarantees in life about anything.

464
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 2: Right, So he's not gonna be my boyfriend, he's not

465
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 2: dating me, he doesn't have to call me nowhere, he

466
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 2: owes me nothing.

467
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 1: But what we're doing right now.

468
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 3: Contract is with yourself, because there's no way that you

469
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 3: have control over anyone's actions, what they do tomorrow. So

470
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,199
Speaker 3: you have to realize, Okay, how do I feel the

471
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 3: next day? Even if he calls you, You're still gonna

472
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 3: be insecure to say, is it's gonna matter now? Is

473
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 3: it expected? Each time? I mean, there's always, That's what

474
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 3: I'm saying. Sometimes the beautiful brains we overthink. The biggest

475
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:50,360
Speaker 3: the most important advice I would say is just enjoy

476
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 3: every day. Don't get so ahead where you're playing games

477
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 3: in your mind, where you're creating, manufacturing issues that don't exist.

478
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 3: The way to cast a spell on someone is just

479
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 3: to be your happy, authentic self. Guys, love people that

480
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: are interesting, interested, living wonderful lives and a healthy self esteem,

481
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 3: and just lead with that and everything will the right

482
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 3: person will present themselves