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Speaker 1: Hey, what's up, y'all.

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Speaker 2: This is Eric Andre and welcome to my new podcast Bombing,

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Speaker 2: where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative

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Speaker 2: people about their worst moments on stage and being annihilated

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Speaker 2: by a live audience. Today, I have my good friend,

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Speaker 2: the incredibly talented Michelle Buteau.

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Speaker 1: You may know her stand up and you've seen her

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Speaker 1: all over TV and movies.

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Speaker 2: We go way back years and years and we talk

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Speaker 2: about our stand up touring days together and get into

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Speaker 2: crazy stories she's encountered overseas and in the great Plains.

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Speaker 1: Of the US of A. Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: Excuse me, sorry, Bombing Balming with Eric Andre.

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Speaker 4: We are here with the wickedly talented one and only

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Speaker 4: into my yang. Dare I say, oh my god, the

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Speaker 4: tomato to my tomato, probably my oldest friend in comedy,

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Speaker 4: my sister from another mister hell, Michelle Beteau.

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Speaker 5: I thought you're going to say, oh my god. We've

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Speaker 5: known each other.

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Speaker 2: A long time, twenty years more, I think twenty years. Well,

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Speaker 2: this podcast is about bombing, So I'm going to ask you.

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Speaker 2: I'll just give you a little set up. I'm going

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Speaker 2: to ask you, like, what's the worst bomb that you

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Speaker 2: ever experienced, what's the worst bomb that you've ever seen

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Speaker 2: that you were just like there to witness, And like,

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Speaker 2: what's the most waste you've ever been on stage? Those

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Speaker 2: are kind of like the three questions, Oh my God,

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Speaker 2: before we get into that week, into any decade, let's

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Speaker 2: start with like.

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Speaker 1: In time, we're playing at college.

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Speaker 2: Played this college, and they put you. They don't put

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Speaker 2: you in the auditorium when you're like unknown, they put

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Speaker 2: you in the cafeteria, in the middle of the cafeteria

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Speaker 2: where the kids are ordering chicken wings and shit. And

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Speaker 2: Michelle and I had to do this show, so it

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Speaker 2: was a scarcely packed show in a campus cafeteria.

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Speaker 1: People are literally.

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Speaker 2: Ordering chicken nuggets next to us as we're trying to

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Speaker 2: tell jokes. There's no context for us. Me and Michelle.

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Speaker 2: I haven't been on television at this point. We're like

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Speaker 2: what early mid twenties something like that, and it's scarcely packed.

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Speaker 2: I'm doing horrible. I mean, like the odds are stacked

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Speaker 2: against me, but I'm not doing well, and these girls

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Speaker 2: are making fun of me in the in the audience,

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Speaker 2: and I end my set by looking at like the

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Speaker 2: nine people peppered throughout this cafeteria.

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Speaker 1: That we're not paying attention. I went, you guys are

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Speaker 1: the worst fucking audience.

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Speaker 4: I have ever performed in in my entire life.

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Speaker 2: And I threw the mic down. I was an angry Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was before I went to therapy. I just was

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Speaker 2: so frustrated. Threw the microphone down.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Then I completely forgot I had to bring Michelle up

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Speaker 2: next and stuff. I picked the microphone back up off

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Speaker 2: the ground and I was like, you've.

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Speaker 1: Seen her on VH one and County said, please get it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I remember you coming on stage and

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Speaker 2: looking at me like this and You're.

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Speaker 1: Like, do you need a hug? And I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: back off me and I went backstage so wide. I

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Speaker 1: kicked the garbage over coffee flu.

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Speaker 5: Everything so wild, so like, not only is it like

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Speaker 5: you bombing, then like I have to live in that bomber. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I'm a powerful sir. I'm like the Ukraine in this

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Speaker 5: situation where I'm just like, why am I getting bombed?

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Speaker 5: Like it was too soon? I'm so sorry, thought some prisers.

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Speaker 5: But I was like, this is wild. You are not

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Speaker 5: Chris Rock. We are in somewhere in Pennsylvania. Was it Pittsburgh?

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Speaker 1: It was always like possom fuck Arkansas, or like.

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Speaker 5: It was seven things.

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Speaker 2: But I should seven flights to get there.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I should also, And then like we had to

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Speaker 5: like dry.

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Speaker 2: I think they lost my luggage on the way there,

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Speaker 2: and I started crying dur that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they lost my little carry on. It was they

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Speaker 1: lost my carry on. Comple hoodie.

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Speaker 5: I know I have seen you cry and.

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Speaker 1: You owed me like thirty bucks or something. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I thirty dollars.

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Speaker 5: Hit my god, you hit me up in the middle

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Speaker 5: of a breakfast sandwich at the airport, at a dusty

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Speaker 5: airport like in Arizona. And you're like, I don't mean

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Speaker 5: to bring this up, but you haven't paid me back.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I haven't gotten paid back. I'm like, so

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Speaker 5: I'll write you a check. I didn't realize how broke

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Speaker 5: you were. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that thirty bucks would have been like breakfast, lunch,

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Speaker 2: and dinner.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, Okay, I have the thirty bucks. I

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Speaker 5: will pay you back.

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Speaker 6: Thank you.

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Speaker 5: I think it's also important to tell the people we

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Speaker 5: met in New York we did stand up and then

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Speaker 5: we did a diversity showcase for NBC. Right, showcases are

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Speaker 5: just a show where like a bunch of agents and

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Speaker 5: managers go and then you just sort of tap dance

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Speaker 5: and be like, look, we have a black one, we

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Speaker 5: have a light skinned one, we have Agian one, we

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Speaker 5: have a gay one, and like, because there was like

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Speaker 5: no diversity in Hollywood, like even I like the needle

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Speaker 5: has moved like tremendously just in the last five years.

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Speaker 5: So like you know, when we started twenty years ago,

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Speaker 5: there was no non binary royalty. There was none of

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Speaker 5: this was in the vocabulary. There was no conversation. It

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Speaker 5: was literally like I checked two boxes because I am

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Speaker 5: black and female. And so when we were friends and

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Speaker 5: we did the showcase and people were like, they're cute.

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Speaker 5: We don't want to pay full price for one. Let's

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Speaker 5: just put them in a little package deal together. So

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Speaker 5: we were a package deal and everyone thought we were

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Speaker 5: brother and sister. But there was no guitar, there was

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Speaker 5: no singing. We never said we were brother and sister.

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Speaker 5: We just all happened to be half Haitian. And they're like,

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Speaker 5: they're related. They're light skinned enough to like send to

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Speaker 5: the Midwest and the South. I mean, I remember we

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Speaker 5: went to some place in Louisiana. It wasn't New Orleans,

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Speaker 5: it was another place street Port, I think. And you

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Speaker 5: have this really epic hurricane joke. This was after Hurricane

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Speaker 5: Katrina and they just got the hurricanes. Yeah, and you

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Speaker 5: did the joke and you're like, what the fuck people.

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Speaker 4: That's a great shot and the like.

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Speaker 5: It sook like I had to go on stage and

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Speaker 5: do the thing and then we had a conversation. But

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Speaker 5: it's like those learning lessons, that's an education you could

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Speaker 5: never get at a fucking school.

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Speaker 2: I will say, there's a code to the end of

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Speaker 2: that that story where I kicked the garbage can over

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Speaker 2: in that cafeteria. Those girls that were making fun of

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Speaker 2: me the most flirted with me after the yeah, fucking thing.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you're flirting with me. You were, you

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Speaker 2: were talking about me the whole time, and they're like,

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Speaker 2: where'd you go?

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Speaker 5: It's like they were pulling your hair on at the.

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Speaker 1: Playground, playground flirting.

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Speaker 2: Yeahs later, that woman is still my wife, the love

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Speaker 2: of my life.

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Speaker 5: And I remember that night too because we had headshots

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Speaker 5: that we were signing. Because I was like, someone went

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Speaker 5: to Kinko's with a budget and you drew a mustache

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Speaker 5: on my face, and I was you didn't like that?

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Speaker 5: I was so offended.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you didn't like that.

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Speaker 5: I hated that.

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Speaker 1: You really all the things that you'd be offended by.

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Speaker 4: That broke the camel Tooeg we say foul shipped.

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Speaker 2: To each other all day and that was like cartoon mustas.

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Speaker 2: It's like a fifth grader from the eighties.

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Speaker 5: With like well, like I think I had like like

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Speaker 5: I reached my max with like being with you on

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Speaker 5: that trip because you were it was a testing time.

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Speaker 1: That was a pre therapy with therapy. I was pre therapized. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: those were hard.

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Speaker 2: No, you take like air tran middle seat, three flights

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Speaker 2: to fucking yeah, Coyote Bladder, Mississippi.

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Speaker 1: Yes, the shows were always miserable. The pay was miserable.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you're like, why am I doing to survive?

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Speaker 1: You're like, so why am I doing this?

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Speaker 5: Most going to work to travel. We couldn't even afford

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Speaker 5: to go to I think Idaho. We had to borrow

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Speaker 5: money from our college agent to go because we couldn't

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Speaker 5: afford to go.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So and like when you're starting out, nothing's guaranteed. You

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Speaker 2: don't know you're if you're gonna have a career at all,

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Speaker 2: you think, you know. So it's a it's a it's

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Speaker 2: a grind the first decade of comedy.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: When people ask me how do I make money? How

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Speaker 5: do I do this? How do I get on that,

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Speaker 5: I'm like, just keep your head down and stay funny,

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Speaker 5: be funny. You know. I feel like there is a

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Speaker 5: generation of comedians where it's cool not to be funny,

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Speaker 5: like not to have jokes. And I'm like, that's kind

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Speaker 5: of your job, Boo boo. Take some really difficult ship

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Speaker 5: and make it funny, you know, to make me think

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Speaker 5: about it. It's a lot of medicine. I need some

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Speaker 5: motheruck sugar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I feel you. So there's another time me and Michelle

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Speaker 2: we were like super late to this gig in Virginia.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, God, this is disgusting. I need to

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Speaker 5: shower right away. Do you have a wet white producer?

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Speaker 5: God show relate to the show. Because you had an

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Speaker 5: audition for Joe Cooy Sketch Show for Comedy Central's right,

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Speaker 5: because you're lost auditioned too, You're already like starting to

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Speaker 5: do things like you.

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Speaker 2: I bought that audition because I kept being like I'm

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Speaker 2: so high right now as a joke, and I think

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Speaker 2: they thought I was actually high.

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Speaker 1: So we're in this car. We're driving from New York

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Speaker 1: to Virginia. We are hauling ass.

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Speaker 2: We get stuck in horrible traffic, and like Michelle's driving,

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Speaker 2: she's like every second count.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I gotta peece so bad. She's like,

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Speaker 1: no way, we can't. We're gonna miss the show.

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Speaker 5: There is no worse a feeling than knowing that you're

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Speaker 5: gonna be late for a show and people are waiting

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Speaker 5: for you. It's like missing your prompt. I don't know

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Speaker 5: how to describe it. Yeah, so I was anxious as fun.

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Speaker 2: So I'm looking at the big gulp in the console

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Speaker 2: next to Michelle and I'm like, that's my toilet right there.

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Speaker 1: I was like, Michelle, I'm gonna pee in this thing.

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Speaker 1: Can I pee any If you're not gonna let me pee,

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Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta. I'm gonna explode. And You're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, all right. And then so I dumped the

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Speaker 1: soda that was in it.

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Speaker 5: I like, like, you got in the backseat, you are

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Speaker 5: in the passenger seat. Let's just let's be here. He

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Speaker 5: goes on the seat. Want any part of this? Okay?

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Speaker 5: We were stuck in so much traffic. I was like,

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Speaker 5: you can get out, go pee on a bush, and

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Speaker 5: come back in and find the car because there was

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Speaker 5: so much you know, like every movie that has like

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Speaker 5: an apocalyptic like oh no, we gotta get out of

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Speaker 5: this town. Yeah, with like the the track, like that's

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Speaker 5: what that traffic was like. We were moving, so I was.

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Speaker 1: Like, get out the car and You're like no, you're

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Speaker 1: getting like retriggered about. So really, we've been.

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Speaker 5: Through so much fucking mess. By the time I met

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Speaker 5: my husband, I had been like like almost best friend,

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Speaker 5: like best friend, like brothers sister with Eric and try

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Speaker 5: on the road before therapy, the marriage is nothing.

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Speaker 4: This is crazy.

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Speaker 5: Are you fucking kidding me? They're like, wow, you guys

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Speaker 5: really like it. I'm like, yeah, because he peece before

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Speaker 5: the fucking house. Do you mean you really set me

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Speaker 5: up for success?

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Speaker 6: Bro?

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Speaker 5: Shit?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm in the backseat apparently with a big

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Speaker 2: gulf cup and I'm.

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Speaker 6: Filling it out.

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Speaker 5: Be no, no, what, let don't let's back it up.

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Speaker 7: Erry.

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Speaker 5: He surprised himself by what was coming out of his body,

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Speaker 5: and as it's a big gulp as it's the peas

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Speaker 5: overflow overflow, you start freaking out.

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Speaker 1: I can't stop the stream.

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Speaker 5: I don't have a penis, I don't cups. I'm back,

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Speaker 5: and I was just like, we're gonna to old Tiper.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, you know, like I bleied once some

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Speaker 5: mo my uteruses on the floor and I still show

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Speaker 5: up on side of a smile. You're fucking intake, bro,

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Speaker 5: it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: You're like, what do I do?

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Speaker 6: What do I do?

250
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,920
Speaker 5: The beeeze coming? Also is your own be.

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Speaker 2: Like it was, I'm filling up a big hold with

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Speaker 2: pe The peas like pea flicks are like slashing out.

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Speaker 1: Then I cut the stream off and I like dumped

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Speaker 1: them out and I keep going and I'm.

255
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Speaker 6: Like and then I and.

256
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Speaker 2: So I'm like and then I just instead of dubbing

257
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Speaker 2: it out, I just have like a full big gulp

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Speaker 2: of my own urine. Next to Michelle in the little

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Speaker 2: middle console why she's she's driving, and I just break

260
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Speaker 2: into casual conversation as if none of that just happened.

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, so what are you going to

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Speaker 2: open your set with? And Michelle's like white knuckling it.

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00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 2: She's like, my set, I don't really know what I

264
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Speaker 2: want to and I'm like, what is going on with you?

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Speaker 2: You're like, it's just your pee is a cup and

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Speaker 2: it's like three inches from my yellow and I'm driving

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Speaker 2: and I don't want to smell your pee. I don't

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Speaker 2: want to see your pee. I don't want to feel your.

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Speaker 5: Pe Everyone's peace smells and that should be disgusting.

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Speaker 8: Disgusting, disgusting. And I was like, oh, you're upset about

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Speaker 8: the pe is. You're like, You're like, what else would

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Speaker 8: I be upset about? Idea you're hearing right there around with.

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Speaker 5: Every scientists with organs and jars.

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Speaker 2: And then I was like, well, you want me to

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Speaker 2: dump it out the window? And you were like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know, just I don't know. Don't you swallow involuntarily,

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Speaker 2: like having a panic act. And I'm like, I'm gonnadumb

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00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,640
Speaker 2: it out the window. You're like, don't get it on

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Speaker 2: the car. I just don't let anybody see you, you know.

280
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Speaker 5: And then I was just like splashed so gross, honestly,

281
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Speaker 5: because I couldn't breathe. Because I could, I could feel

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Speaker 5: it in my nose and if I open my mouth

283
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,920
Speaker 5: then I taste it, and I don't want any part

284
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Speaker 5: of that, and I really want to be like, did

285
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Speaker 5: you have asparagus? Because all of it was so fucking yeah.

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Speaker 6: I grope.

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Speaker 1: It was like yellow ropes.

288
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,880
Speaker 5: It was so young. You know, when you have guy friends,

289
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,280
Speaker 5: you think you're gonna go use your bathroom and see

290
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 5: a skid mark, you know what I mean? Or like

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00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,960
Speaker 5: a dirty condom. No, not with Eric. Now, it's way

292
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Speaker 5: more intimate.

293
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,920
Speaker 1: A dank piss, dank yellow, dark yellow piss.

294
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Speaker 2: I want to tell one story. Oh my god, Okay, wait,

295
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,560
Speaker 2: we're not done with the peepe story. So I dumped

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Speaker 2: the p out.

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Speaker 1: We get to the gig and then Michelle goes, I

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Speaker 1: got this new joke. It's a fucking banger dog. And

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Speaker 1: then she gets on stage and she goes, yo, y'all

300
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Speaker 1: ever be running and you just run in? And then

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Speaker 1: she forgets a joke.

302
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Speaker 5: A joke, I forgot the joke. Listen, you don't you

303
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,199
Speaker 5: don't understand. Okay, there's so much that happens before you

304
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,079
Speaker 5: get on stage, and the only thing you want to

305
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,079
Speaker 5: do is show up and be cute like Beyonce. You

306
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,719
Speaker 5: already mean a Coachella, but like we didn't even know

307
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,439
Speaker 5: Beyonce went through all that until she made a documentary.

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00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,839
Speaker 5: There is so much shit you have to do, and

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Speaker 5: when you're sitting next to your friends his there are

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Speaker 5: levels of emotions. You know what I mean, it's a whole,

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Speaker 5: it's it's it's an onion. That was a crazy gig,

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00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,160
Speaker 5: because I do think that brought us closer. We had

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Speaker 5: to leave very early. The next through the mist We

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Speaker 5: joke through the night.

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Speaker 1: I had to do a commercial.

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00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, you were starting to blow up. No, like people.

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00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,920
Speaker 5: You had an audition, a show in Virginia and then

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Speaker 5: like a commercial the next day for a newbie comedian.

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Speaker 5: That's like a really big deal. So I was like, bet,

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Speaker 5: let's go like talk about rider Die. I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: let's just go sleep for an hour or two.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Then we drove back through the misty misty fog.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. But what you don't know, which I don't think

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Speaker 5: I told you. I took the biggest dump when I

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Speaker 5: got to the hotel. I was holding in so many things.

327
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Speaker 5: Oh my god, it was.

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Speaker 3: It was it.

329
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,480
Speaker 5: Was like every season of The Amazing Race came out

330
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Speaker 5: in that toilet and I was like, what the fuck?

331
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Speaker 5: And I clogged the toilet up and then it started overflowing,

332
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 5: and I just like closed the door and left it

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Speaker 5: and like slept because I was like, I don't even

334
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,280
Speaker 5: know what to do with this day anymore. I don't

335
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 5: even know what this day is. It was one of

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00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,280
Speaker 5: those days like am I worthy? Am I doing the

337
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,080
Speaker 5: right thing? It was a curse day. And then we

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00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,240
Speaker 5: got back in the car while it was still dark

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00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:57,200
Speaker 5: to make it back and let me take something. The

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Speaker 5: way Eric was driving, you, if you're an atheist, you

341
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,400
Speaker 5: would have been.

342
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: Religious because a lot of driving crazy.

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00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,000
Speaker 5: You were driving crazy and fun.

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00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,680
Speaker 2: And then we came up on like a nightmare twenty

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Speaker 2: car pileup accidents where there's.

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00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,760
Speaker 5: Definitely like fatalities one hundred, and you.

347
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,440
Speaker 2: Were like and you were like half asleep, and I

348
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,080
Speaker 2: was like, it's okay, it's okay, go back to sleep.

349
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:21,440
Speaker 2: You're like, just the car, It's okay, it's okay. And

350
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,680
Speaker 2: hills you're bad at anytime you drove by a hill.

351
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,640
Speaker 1: You drive by a hill.

352
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have I have anxietyophobia and I also have

353
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,280
Speaker 5: panic attacks and with hills, and I I have vertico.

354
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,480
Speaker 5: I'm real fun, guys, And when I go up and

355
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 5: down a hill. I have like this tunnel vision where

356
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 5: I don't know if I'm going up or down. I

357
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 5: don't know if I go slower, go fast ship.

358
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 1: I feel bad roasty, you know.

359
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, you should bitch.

360
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 6: Shit.

361
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 5: I'm trying to hold together like I'm safty abrams bitch

362
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 5: on January seventh. Motherfucker, I'm trying, bitch. Okay, you really

363
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 5: do what? Motherfucker? Like, what are we doing with my peepe?

364
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 6: Do you know what I'm going through?

365
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 5: I can't remember my fucking jokes.

366
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,840
Speaker 1: I'm just like this is solet.

367
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 5: I'm like, I got this great joke. I don't remember it.

368
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,040
Speaker 5: It was it was wild.

369
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 6: With a recodre with Adre.

370
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,600
Speaker 5: We're gonna get to the bombing story. But this was

371
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,119
Speaker 5: like a really crazy story that not a lot of

372
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,960
Speaker 5: comedians either go through or talk about. There was this

373
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:42,800
Speaker 5: festival named the Aspen Comedy Festival. It takes place in Espin.

374
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 1: And talking about one we almost died on that airy.

375
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 6: Yeah.

376
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,920
Speaker 5: So when you go to Aspen, you gotta fly into

377
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,119
Speaker 5: Denver and then take a little small plane a la

378
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 5: la bomba, Yeah, like.

379
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 1: A Fisher Price propeller plane.

380
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 5: Yes, And we get on the plane there's some weather

381
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 5: like it was already delayed. We're very excited and tired

382
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,399
Speaker 5: to just fucking go.

383
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,119
Speaker 1: Kyle Kanane's on the plane as well.

384
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,200
Speaker 5: Kyle Kanane is next to me and hilarious comedian. The

385
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 5: turbulence is so bad that there was a moment where

386
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,119
Speaker 5: I thought we were gonna die. And I'm like, this

387
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,159
Speaker 5: is how it goes. And I know that you're an atheist.

388
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 5: I look back at you. You're making the sign of

389
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:17,680
Speaker 5: the Cross.

390
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 1: I became religious. I was religious for however long that

391
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 1: plane ride us.

392
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was we were in a dryer. We

393
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 5: were like in a tumble dryer, because what happens is

394
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 5: it's a valley and there's crosswinds and it's impossible to

395
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 5: land because the plane is going left and right and

396
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,119
Speaker 5: can't fucking find its way. And you always look to

397
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,479
Speaker 5: the flight attendant to see if you know, if they

398
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,360
Speaker 5: but they look like they were like they look stressed.

399
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 5: They did, and then like it was like bumpy, and

400
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,639
Speaker 5: Kyle Kanane took my hand and he goes, we're gonna

401
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,200
Speaker 5: be okay, and I took his hand with both my

402
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,320
Speaker 5: hands and I'm like, I really hope, so wow, and

403
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,119
Speaker 5: we couldn't land the plane, so they had to get it,

404
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 5: get us out of it.

405
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was it was all for It was all

406
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 2: for nothing. It was like flying and they were trying

407
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,560
Speaker 2: to fly into this blizzard. They tried once too turbulent,

408
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 2: tried twice too turbulent, tried three times. So we had

409
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 2: to go through that hell three times and then they

410
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 2: just gave up. It was like all for nothing, and

411
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 2: they just took us back to Denver and me, you

412
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 2: and Eric Charles Nielson had to take a bus with

413
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,120
Speaker 2: all the other comics through icy, sleety snow and that's

414
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 2: dangerous too.

415
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 1: We were running a band.

416
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 2: Who's whose tour bus crashed on those mountains and the yeah,

417
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: because it was so icy and ship.

418
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know why we gotta call it black ice,

419
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 5: but it is what it is comic view. But Moniqu's

420
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 5: gonna be so mad. I took our joke.

421
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 1: Why they the white ice? So what is the worst

422
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 1: you have ever bombed?

423
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 5: I mean there's been a few bombs, right, there's just

424
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 5: been a few. You're working out materials. The crowd doesn't

425
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 5: get you. I want to say the worst for me.

426
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 5: It was a comedy show, but it wasn't a comedy club.

427
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 5: It's the first and last time I ever did stand

428
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 5: up in Jamaica. Oh wow, yeah, I thought I was like,

429
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 5: I thought I had enough. You know, it's like the

430
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 5: five year old that's had two lessons and they could swim.

431
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 5: I was like, I've been doing comedy for eight years.

432
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,359
Speaker 5: Will sil Vince was hosting. Also really hilarious comedian that

433
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 5: does a lot on the Caribbean as well as a

434
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 5: comedy seller.

435
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 1: Check him out and was he doing Okay?

436
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:27,920
Speaker 5: He was killing because he like he's got that on lock. Yeah,

437
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 5: and so they were so warm and so like ready

438
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 5: to laugh.

439
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 6: Yeah.

440
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: I got a text Will, I got him, yeahs Will.

441
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 5: He's great. Will, He's the best, the best. And he

442
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 5: started boxing and it's just like yeah, all like ripped

443
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 5: and stuff. Like every time I see him, there's always

444
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 5: an excuse for him to lift his shirt, like why

445
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 5: wear a shirt to be topless?

446
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,120
Speaker 1: So he's on stage, he's doing well.

447
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 5: He's on stage, he's like murdering shit, like murdering like

448
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 5: this is his this is his bag. He's in his zone.

449
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 5: And you know, my mom is Jamaican. I've been to

450
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 5: Jamaica every year since I was three weeks old. So

451
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 5: I feel like, you know, I'm family. Yeah, I'm born

452
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 5: and raised in Jersey. Good hell, But you feel more

453
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 5: Jamaican in Jersey than you do in Jamaica.

454
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 2: Did he have Jamaican jo because he's Haitian? Was he

455
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 2: doing Haitian jokes or was he doing Haitian jokes and Jamain?

456
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 5: He can do Caribbean accents.

457
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: So he's doing Jamaica. Yes, very specific.

458
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 5: Yes, And like I pride myself on being able to

459
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 5: do my material anywhere for anyone, because comedy should be universal.

460
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 6: It's not.

461
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,120
Speaker 1: It's like the least universal thing.

462
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 5: Pictures Showtime at the Apollo, but with machetes and guns

463
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 5: outside with like you know, the jerk chicken is you know,

464
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 5: jerkin women look like dancehall queens. Just picture.

465
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,880
Speaker 2: I love my Jamaican people, but they can be emotional,

466
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: emotionally emotional.

467
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 5: That's one way of putting it.

468
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,439
Speaker 1: The h.

469
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 5: And there's just a lot of like absolutes in Jamaica. Well,

470
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 5: I get on stage and I haven't had the shaky

471
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 5: hands in a while. Oh, you were nervous, So I

472
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 5: was nervous. I was like, oh, I'm in over my

473
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 5: head and it felt like, like, what do you do

474
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 5: when you know you're gonna bomb? You just lean into it? Right?

475
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 6: Yeah?

476
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 5: And then it's just like, if anything, I'm going to

477
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 5: deliver these lines with like the confidence of Steve Harvey.

478
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 5: You know what I mean?

479
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: What else can you do?

480
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:40,120
Speaker 5: You like, I can't leave. They've flown me down there

481
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 5: and put me up and now this is like my

482
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 5: mom feels like I've made it. So now I'm doing

483
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 5: comedy and her mother land.

484
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: What town was this?

485
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 5: This was Kingston, Kingston. I've invited some friends that I knew.

486
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 5: They're so happy for me because working out. Also, my

487
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 5: uncle's the arch bishop of Jamaica.

488
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 6: Whoa.

489
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 1: So it's been in like glure, a lot of pressure

490
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: in this Jamaica show.

491
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm not hosting the Golden Globes. I'm

492
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,439
Speaker 5: just doing a set in Kingston.

493
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 1: It's a lot of pressure on the show. You get

494
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: up there, you get the shaky hands.

495
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 5: I get the shaky hands. I also realize like people

496
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 5: are dressed up like I dressed up, but like a

497
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 5: Caribbean dress up is just different. Like people have gone

498
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 5: shopping for an.

499
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: Hour shopping, They got a babysitter. They like that production

500
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 1: went into this. Yeah, for them, for the audience and

501
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: not me. It paid their money and to drink minimum.

502
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 5: I don't even remember all my material. There was a

503
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 5: joke about sex where I'm just like, ladies, if a

504
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 5: guy's not going down on you, you don't go down

505
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 5: on him, because you can't have the six without the nine.

506
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 5: And that's when I heard the booze, and then the

507
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 5: booze didn't stop, and then I heard a gun shot

508
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 5: and I was like, thank you so much, dot Com.

509
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 1: And you're playing with fire.

510
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 5: Yeah I was, I was, but I was like, this

511
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 5: is what I say, this is what I want to say. Yeah,

512
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 5: and even if it helps one person, at this point,

513
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 5: it is what it is. And so my mom got

514
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 5: phone calls, my uncle got phone calls. Who there was

515
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 5: like articles about it in Jamaica. Oh yeah. It followed

516
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 5: me and to this day people are like, do you

517
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 5: want to come to a Ruba and do comedy? I'm

518
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 5: like no, no, no, do you want to come to

519
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 5: Puerto Rico for this thing to do? I was like no,

520
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 5: I just want my titties out and I want some

521
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 5: spicy chicken. That's it.

522
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'll go to Ruba.

523
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, but not to do comedy one hundred.

524
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: I'll drink rum out of a coconut.

525
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 5: Ooh okay.

526
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 6: With Ariadre.

527
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 5: With Adre, there's been bombing situations where people have thrown

528
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 5: a glass at me. Really, yeah, Carolines, it was Wendy Williams.

529
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 5: Wendy Williams experience.

530
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: Was Wendy Williams experience. Yeah, who threw a bottle at you?

531
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,920
Speaker 5: There was the Wendy Williams experience at Caroline's. And this

532
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 5: the comic before me, don't remember who that was, was

533
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 5: making fun of this girl and it was a guy's

534
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 5: girlfriend and he was like in on it too, and

535
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 5: she felt really bad and I saw it in her face.

536
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 5: So I got up there and I'm just like, you

537
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 5: were so lucky that somebody wants to sit and spin

538
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 5: on your tiny little dick. Why the fuck would you

539
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 5: do that? And why are you with someone that does

540
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 5: that to you? Yeah? I turned into like a fucking

541
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 5: disgruntled Ricky Lake audience member, because you cannot see something

542
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 5: and not say something, especially if you're gonna ultimately be

543
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 5: a truth tailer on stage. And I'm just like, sometimes

544
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 5: it just takes a fucking stranger to see something that

545
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 5: you're living in because you're just in the cloud of smoke.

546
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 5: And I'm like, you might be in the eye of

547
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 5: the storm, but get the fuck out drop that zero,

548
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 5: get yourself a hero. I'm telling you. It's very Jenny Jones.

549
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 5: And he's just like he did the whole fuck you fat,

550
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 5: nobody wants to fuck you. Don't worry about don't worry

551
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 5: about my fat, don't worry about who wants to fuck me? Okay,

552
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 5: ship Yeah, And so we got into a yelling argument,

553
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 5: and you can tell when someone's going through abuse, and

554
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 5: so I was just like, you don't need him. I

555
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 5: don't know if anyone else is going to tell you

556
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 5: what you don't. Other sisters were clapping. He threw a

557
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 5: glass at me, he smashed on the table in front

558
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 5: of me, and I'm like, okay, here's one joke. I

559
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 5: told the joke and I left. It was like, ever

560
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 5: find a little piece of toilet paper. I left, and

561
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 5: then they had to escort me out the back because

562
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 5: he was like waiting for me. Yes, yeah, dude, so comedy. Yeah.

563
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 5: People when it goes well, people are like, you're so brave. No,

564
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 5: that's not the brave part. That's not the brave part.

565
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 5: I'll tell you what got me to the Yeah yeah, yeah.

566
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 5: So what's the worst bomb you ever like just saw

567
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 5: like like a night besides you.

568
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: I mean, was there any just.

569
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 2: Been like any fights you've seen on stage or any

570
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 2: like crazy someone got naked or like drunk guy got

571
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 2: kicked out or oh well there was this.

572
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:05,719
Speaker 1: You can think about it too. We can circle back

573
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 1: to No, I know what it is, Okay, Michael Chay,

574
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: really it was.

575
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 5: But Michael definitely did not think he bombed. He thinks

576
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 5: that he like saved the integrity of comedy. Okay, Michael kind.

577
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: Of likes bobbing a little bit. He's like Norm McDonald

578
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 1: or Kevin Burtnett. I feel like those guys. I kind

579
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,119
Speaker 1: of liked Michael.

580
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 5: Michael, Sherry Shepherd and I did a gig for like

581
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 5: Proctical and Gamba and yeah, I don't even remember, and

582
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 5: like we had to write all these jokes that they

583
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 5: like just combed over right. It was like they just

584
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,719
Speaker 5: took the air out of comedy. And my big closer

585
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 5: was just like boy bands are like deodorant, like one

586
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 5: has you one slips, I don't even or I like

587
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 5: my men like I like my deodorant, like strong white

588
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 5: and reliable, whatever the fuck hackety hacket, like my mortgage

589
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 5: that that night with that show, make that money. Sherry

590
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 5: was into it too. We all follow the rules, right,

591
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 5: Michael gets up there, he's a rule breaker.

592
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 2: Ah ah ah ah.

593
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 5: And no one's a Karen, but they're definitely Karen adjacent,

594
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 5: like they got the Karens in the family. But I

595
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 5: was like, oh, he told a story about how he

596
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 5: went to Arizona and the lady in the front called

597
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 5: him a nigga, no way, and he probably said nigga

598
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 5: like twenty seven times.

599
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: Corporate at this corporate event, I mean.

600
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 5: The ties were loosening. I can see like holes just

601
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 5: popping in people's pantyhops, like their thighs were bouldering. The

602
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 5: shoulder pads were just deflating.

603
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 2: So no, no, no, no, is he just one of

604
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: those comics. If you tell him not to do it,

605
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: that's all they want to do? Yeah, yeah, I love him.

606
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, which I love him, and I appreciate it too

607
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 5: because I'm just like, okay, okay, and I don't think

608
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 5: I've done a corporate gig since because I'm like, no,

609
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

610
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 5: I'm gonna live my truth.

611
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: What's the most wasted you've ever been on stage?

612
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god?

613
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: Have you ever been really drunk on stage.

614
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 6: Or high or like what?

615
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 5: Yeah? I started day drinking this one Saturday with some

616
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 5: Dutch friends.

617
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: Know you show later, Yeah, but you were just like fighting.

618
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 5: It was just supposed to be like an afternoon hang

619
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 5: which she's crackers and wine, and then we took it

620
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 5: to the bar across the way and then there was

621
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 5: like pizza and like cocktails.

622
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 1: Sounds like a good day to me.

623
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 5: And Heist was like, please don't go to the show,

624
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 5: call and cancel. Heice is her husband, and I'm like, no, babe,

625
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 5: I'm such a workhorse. I'm such like I'm like no,

626
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 5: I'm gonna do it.

627
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 1: Drunk, You're like I gotta do it.

628
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 5: And our friend Case is just like she should do

629
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 5: it because he loves to stir the pot. And I'm like, no,

630
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 5: I'm going to do it. I'm gonna do You can't

631
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 5: tell me what to do because I'm drunk, and he's like, babe,

632
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 5: please just call. It's just a fifteen minute spot for

633
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 5: like a nine o'clock show. Or some shit, please don't go,

634
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 5: and I'm like, fine, I won't go. Wink wink. So

635
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 5: Kis goes to the bathroom. You sneak out, and like Cases,

636
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 5: I'll call this a car. Let's go to the show,

637
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 5: and I'm like, let's go. We're in the backseat of

638
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 5: the taxi. I am like Denzel Washington in like the

639
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 5: pilot was that flight, and like Cases, like John Goodman,

640
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 5: he gives me a bump. I'm like, I'm ready to go.

641
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 5: Let's do it. Like I am slurring my words, not

642
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 5: even realizing I am a mess. We take the taxi

643
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 5: to the city. People get to the comedy club. They're

644
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 5: holding me up and they're like, I'm I don't even

645
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying any subtitles. I'm just like moving

646
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 5: my mouth and I just remember the booker saying, is

647
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 5: she okay? Can she do this? And then I go,

648
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 5: I can don't tell me what I can't do, and

649
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 5: so salty the host brings me up and then it's

650
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 5: like autopilote, you know what I mean. I was like

651
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 5: Tony Bennett on his ninety six birthday. I don't know.

652
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 5: I think so I did some crowd work. I think

653
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 5: and I walked, I walked up the stage. I didn't fall.

654
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 5: I had to call the comedy club two days later

655
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 5: and apologize. Tell him. I told him I got new

656
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 5: medication and I really had to figure it out. Hi

657
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 5: he in case and I still talk about that story

658
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 5: because Caise is like, how fucking dare you? How fun?

659
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 5: Try to tell you see me the most drunk?

660
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 2: I remember one time you were at the Village of

661
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 2: Lantern and you're you're on stage and one of your

662
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: teeth flew out of your mouth.

663
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's been a journey. So I have a book

664
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 5: called Survival the Ficket plus sized essays in a Small

665
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 5: minded World Now, and there is a wholess chapter about

666
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 5: my tooth, and it's called Tooth Be Told. There's a

667
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 5: chapter about my tooth. It's you know, growing up in America,

668
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 5: you know, health insurance is a luxury, so you don't

669
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 5: always take care of your ship and or the doctor's

670
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 5: going to take advantage of you.

671
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: So but it's not like you didn't brush your teeth, No,

672
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: I just it's you had a genetic gum.

673
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 5: Most of that stuff is DNA, yes, and so had

674
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 5: I had a flipper?

675
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it was just funny that I was

676
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: on stage and when your teeth went fly.

677
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 5: Here's the thing. I was like, this is how much

678
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 5: I love comedy. I have like a flipper. My gum

679
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 5: is resting from like a surgery A has had, but

680
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 5: I'm still gonna go out and do stand up And

681
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 5: then I'm doing a joke and my tooth flies out.

682
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 5: And who's at the back of the show, fucking Eric.

683
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 5: And you know what you have a You have a

684
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 5: memory for shady shit like an elephant. And every time

685
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 5: something bad happens, this mother he won't remember the good

686
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 5: remember the good ship. He remembered that one time you

687
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 5: slipped on the banana peel and remind you and then

688
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 5: introduce you. That's your intro. Oh my god, meet my

689
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 5: friend Michelle. She wants her tooth on stage one time. Anyways,

690
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 5: that's it, Yes, that's.

691
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 7: It, Michelle bete Let, Thank you very much, Eric Gonzalez, Gonzalez, Kacheetah,

692
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 7: Samuel Johnson, Andre.

693
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: Nice with ericdre All right, listen up, we got something.

694
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 2: You got a burning story that you're itching to tell

695
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: about when you bombed or absolutely failed in life.

696
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: Now's your chance to tell me all about it.

697
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 6: Babo.

698
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 2: I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what

699
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 2: the fuck was I thinking?

700
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 6: What just happened moment?

701
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: So pick up your phone and dial seven one six Bombing.

702
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 2: That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty

703
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 2: four and leave me a voice.

704
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: Bail and we might just play it on a future episode.

705
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 2: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will

706
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 2: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast.

707
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang.

708
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: Our research assistant is David Carliner.

709
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 2: Our editor in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art

710
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 2: is by Dylan Vanderberg.

711
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: Co Rate us five stars and drop a review on

712
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: your podcast app a choice