1 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie. 2 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 2: I am Christa Reine Hazlitt, and I'm so excited to 3 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 2: be with you guys today. I'm welcoming you into my 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 2: home to sit right on my couch and guys, can 5 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: I say that I just love you guys, the amount 6 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 2: of love and support that you guys have shown me. 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 2: I was really scared to release this podcast. I didn't 8 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 2: know if my voice mattered, if you guys even wanted 9 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,239 Speaker 2: to listen, But you guys have shown me that you 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 2: do care and that we are more alike than we 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 2: are different. 12 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: So I just wanted to say thank you. 13 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 2: Today we are talking about purging season, which is where 14 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 2: I feel like I am. 15 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: In my life right now. 16 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 2: I thought about it, you know, I just saw that 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 2: God is really moving a lot of things. And when 18 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 2: people hear purging, they think of and eat in disorder, 19 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 2: or they think of the movie The Purge. 20 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: This is not that. 21 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 2: This is when I looked up the actual definition, it 22 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 2: means to rid clear or free, and it also means 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 2: to become cleansed or purified. And I feel like that's 24 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 2: exactly what God is doing in my life right now, 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 2: and when I started to ascend, us started to see 26 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: a lot of things and it's becoming very clear. 27 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: So when I think of purging season. 28 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,559 Speaker 2: I was getting my hair done today by Destiny, Styles 29 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 2: by Destiny, and we were listening to Pandora and the 30 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 2: song when I Pray by Doe started playing, which is 31 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 2: one of my favorite songs. 32 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: I have warned it out. 33 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 2: I absolutely loved that song, but it spoke to me 34 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 2: in a different way and I was like, oh my goodness, 35 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:46,199 Speaker 2: that's the song for this episode. And the lyrics say 36 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 2: carrying all the world on my shoulders, and it's gotten 37 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 2: too heavy for me. 38 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: You know, I ain't know hercules. 39 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 2: Life moves on, stuff breaks off, people fall off. Got 40 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 2: to find a way to get over, got to find 41 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 2: a way to get through, breakthrough. Hear you, Struggles they last, 42 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 2: but as time pass, it's been one thing after the other. 43 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: Oh. 44 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 2: I don't always know the right way. No, I don't 45 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: always know what to say. But all I know is 46 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 2: something happens when I pray. Shout out to my beautiful 47 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,239 Speaker 2: sister Melissa Williams for putting me on that song. I 48 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 2: think it was two summers ago or maybe last year sometime, 49 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 2: but I absolutely love that song and it's gotten me through. 50 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 2: But it resonated differently when I was thinking about what 51 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: I was going to talk about today, and I said, Wow, 52 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 2: that's really how I feel right now. 53 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: You know, the Way of the World is super heavy and. 54 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 2: It's a very you know, a very lonely season. But 55 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 2: I feel like God is really really providing clarity in 56 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 2: this season. And I know you got to see me smiling, 57 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 2: but just know that everybody's going through something. You know, 58 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 2: we smile through, we push through it, we work through it, 59 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 2: we travel through it, and we do all these things 60 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 2: to try to mask what we're going through or just 61 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 2: to try to get through the best we can. And 62 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,919 Speaker 2: that's what I'm doing right now. I am navigating this 63 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,239 Speaker 2: season the best that I can, and I know that 64 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 2: it's drawing me closer to God. 65 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: It's bringing me closer to my healing journey. 66 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 2: I know I'm getting over a lot of different things. 67 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: But when I thought about it, I recently lost a 68 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 2: very close friend of mine and not lost to death, 69 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 2: but lost a friend. And this is someone that I 70 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 2: thought would be in my life forever be by my side. 71 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 2: We've been through so much together as we were both 72 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 2: grinding and trying to figure life out, you know, And 73 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 2: as I continue to ascend, I brought this person on 74 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 2: to different projects, and for certain reasons, they didn't work out. 75 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 2: But we do what we can, you know, we feel 76 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: like that's what we're supposed to do. When you are, 77 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 2: you have opportunities. If you can bring your friends on, 78 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 2: you do that, and you try to put them on. 79 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 2: And I continue to sin, and this person wasn't ascending, 80 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: I guess to the speed or even to the level 81 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 2: that I was. Where they thought we should be moving 82 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 2: at the same pace. But God's pace in our pace 83 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:17,239 Speaker 2: is not always the same. And I started to realize 84 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 2: as I was looking like, dang, this person isn't supporting me. 85 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 2: This person isn't happy for me. And it wasn't even 86 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 2: just happy for my success. It was happy when I 87 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 2: if they weren't in a relationship, and I was, they 88 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 2: couldn't be happy for me finding love if I had 89 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 2: the new project going on. I wasn't sure if I 90 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 2: could really call that person because I didn't know how 91 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 2: they were going to react, if they were going to 92 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 2: be happy for me. And for a while, you kind 93 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 2: of like brush it aside because you're like, oh, that's 94 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 2: just you know what I'm saying. Maybe they're going through something, 95 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 2: and you try to be you try to show empathy 96 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 2: for what they're going through. And even sometimes I wouldn't 97 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 2: tell them what I was going through because I didn't 98 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 2: want I wanted to be another reminder that I was 99 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 2: still climbing and they were still in a stagnant space. 100 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 2: But it was, I want to say, twenty twenty, around 101 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 2: twenty twenty, and this is a friendship that I've had 102 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 2: for over ten years, it's about twenty twenty when it 103 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 2: really came to a head and I was like, WHOA, 104 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 2: you're not happy for me, And that's a very jealousy 105 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 2: and envy and not being happy for people because you're 106 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 2: in a certain space is not a good thing. 107 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer that. 108 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 2: When God looks at us in our different seasons, he 109 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 2: watches how you clap for others. 110 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer of that, and. 111 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 2: The way you cheer other people on even when it's 112 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 2: your down season, it's gonna show God that, hey, like, 113 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 2: I know you're gonna. 114 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: Do it for me. 115 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,359 Speaker 2: And I always would say, like, if you're this close 116 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 2: to me and you see all that God has done 117 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 2: for me, why. 118 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: Do you think he won't do it for you? You know? 119 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 2: Why are you not inspired to get up and get 120 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 2: it yourself? Or worried about all the other people that 121 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 2: I'm connected to that are getting put on because of 122 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 2: the blessing that I have. 123 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: You got to do the work, you know. 124 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 2: And We've had so many conversations about how I felt, 125 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 2: and she had to heart check herself and was like, 126 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 2: you know what, I am hurt people hurt people or 127 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 2: hurt people don't. I'm in a place of season of 128 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 2: my life where I'm depressed and I'm not happy for myself, 129 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 2: so I can't be happy for you. 130 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,719 Speaker 1: She just didn't have the space for that. 131 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 2: But as I continue to sin, I realize this is 132 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 2: no longer serving me if I can't come to you 133 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 2: as a friend and let you know, oh my goodness, 134 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 2: this is what happened. Are you really my friend if 135 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 2: I can't call you and tell you my closest secrets? 136 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 2: Are you really my friend if I can't call and say, hey, 137 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 2: I just met this amazing guy and I can't call 138 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: you because you're not in a relationship, so you're not 139 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: necessary to be happy for me? 140 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: Are you my friend? 141 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 2: So all these things started happening and I was like, 142 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 2: you know what, this is not a good space that 143 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: I want to be and I don't feel good about 144 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 2: this friendship anymore. 145 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: And I just decided that it no longer served me. 146 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 2: And this is one of the hardest things I've had 147 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 2: to deal with because I'm a very strong person. 148 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: I feel like I. 149 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 2: All my life I've had to just brush things aside 150 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 2: and keep moving, you know, And I've done that very well, 151 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 2: where people. 152 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: Was like, do you ever have a bad day? 153 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, I have bad days, but you're 154 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 2: always happy. And I'm like, I'll learn to smile through 155 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 2: it all, you know. And that's something with therapy that 156 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 2: I'm learning. It's okay to go through the motions and 157 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 2: the emotions are your emotions. Like one minute, I'll be like 158 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 2: I'm fine, you know, I made the right decision. I'm 159 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 2: at peace about it. This is something I had to do. 160 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 2: And then there's other days where I'm really sad, or 161 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 2: I'll see something on Instagram that I immediately want to 162 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 2: send to her and I'm like, dang, like. 163 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: Only she would understand this, you know. 164 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 2: And that's like moments like that are moments where I'm 165 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 2: going through something that I would normally only talk to 166 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 2: her about where I really miss my friend, But when 167 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 2: I think about the bigger picture, like you have to 168 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 2: have boundaries even when it comes to friends. A lot 169 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: of people think, oh, boundaries and relationships that we always 170 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 2: talk about that, but we don't talk about boundaries and friendships. 171 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 2: And it was something where we always would just be like, oh, 172 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 2: that's just how she is, that's just and you make 173 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 2: excuses for people, but they never take accountability to change 174 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 2: or to do the work, you know. And I'll also 175 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 2: say this, not all friendships that fall off is a 176 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 2: definite end. 177 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: You know. 178 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 2: I've had a friend where we didn't talk for a 179 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 2: few years and she started going to therapy and she 180 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 2: started to realize a lot of the things that were 181 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 2: going on were because of her, and she took accountability 182 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 2: for that and we're great friends again today. You know, 183 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 2: it doesn't the love doesn't stop, you know. And one 184 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 2: thing I learned in therapy when I talk to out 185 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 2: therapists Delana Zimmermann about this, she said, you have to 186 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,319 Speaker 2: allow people to go in grace and go with love. 187 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 2: You can still love them from afar. You don't have 188 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 2: to bad talk them or anything like that, but you 189 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,719 Speaker 2: have to put you first. You have to put your 190 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 2: spirit first, your heart and your peace first. And in 191 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 2: this season, I am learning what that looks like, you know, 192 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 2: And it's tough. 193 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: You know. 194 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 2: I'll definitely be going through my day and just she'll 195 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 2: pop up in my head, but I know that if 196 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 2: I didn't make this move or make this sense, she 197 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 2: may or may not go get the help that she needed, 198 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 2: you know, and really just take time to look and 199 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: be like, wow, maybe I do need to rethink some things, 200 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 2: and maybe I do need to figure out why I 201 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 2: react like this because a lot of times we do 202 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 2: things and we have no idea why we're doing it, 203 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 2: because a lot of things have been embedded in us 204 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 2: as a child, and we're carrying that little girl a 205 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 2: little boy with us throughout our lives and we never 206 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 2: take time to realize, oh, this behavior is not good. 207 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 2: Because we've had people for me, for one, who's just like, oh, 208 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 2: that's just how they are, and we love them regardless 209 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,559 Speaker 2: of their actions, but they're never going to take accountability 210 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 2: or learn the lessons if we keep continuing. 211 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: To take that behavior. 212 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 2: So that's like the thing that I'm going through right now, 213 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 2: but also emotional purging. 214 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: You know, I'm in therapy, I'm healing. We're all healing together. 215 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 2: I see your messages and we're all healing together. And 216 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 2: as I'm healing, I'm also learning that there's a lot 217 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 2: of things that I myself have to rid of, get 218 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 2: rid of, you know, and different traumas, different different things 219 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 2: from my past. 220 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,439 Speaker 1: And I was having a. 221 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 2: Conversation and the guy that I'm dating was like, you know, 222 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 2: I feel like you're. 223 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: Only compassionate about your work, you know. 224 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 2: So there's things I have to I think a lot 225 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 2: of times because I have so much going on, this 226 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 2: is the one thing that that yields results that I 227 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 2: can see, So like, I just put my focus into 228 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 2: this one thing and not realizing that I'm not giving 229 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 2: the people around me that I love that attention that 230 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,199 Speaker 2: they need as well. 231 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: And that's that's a problem that I have to fix, 232 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: you know. 233 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 2: So in this time, I'm also unpacking and realizing, oh, 234 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 2: there's some things Crystal. 235 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: Needs to work on too. 236 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 2: So I'm not just saying everybody around me who is 237 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 2: the is the problem? But I also have some things 238 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 2: that I need to fix as well when I think 239 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 2: of even about my career. When it comes to pursing, 240 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,199 Speaker 2: you have to be really, really careful, you know, because 241 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 2: a lot of times people attached to you based off 242 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 2: every everything is about what you can do for them. 243 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 2: You know, they can do things for you, but a 244 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 2: lot of it is, well, what are you gonna do 245 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: for me as well? And I started to realize that 246 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 2: I had to pay very close attention to the people 247 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 2: that I was aligned to represent. 248 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:06,559 Speaker 1: Me, whether it be pr whether it was management agents, 249 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,080 Speaker 1: even the people that I work with. 250 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 2: You have to like look at everything because I have 251 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 2: a lot of moving parts. 252 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: And there have been instances where. 253 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,719 Speaker 2: I just look at character, I look at your moral compass, 254 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 2: I look at how you treat people that can't help you. 255 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 2: I always say that I pay attention to how people 256 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 2: treat people who can do nothing for them, because that 257 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,840 Speaker 2: says a lot about your character and about who you are. 258 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 2: And when I started paying attention to that, I started 259 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 2: paying attention to. 260 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: How they moved. I was like, hmm, does this really 261 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 1: align with my brand? You know? 262 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,079 Speaker 2: And there are some people I had to completely let go, 263 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 2: and there were some people that I just had to 264 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 2: say Okay, this is your strengths, this is where you 265 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 2: can reside in this space. 266 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 1: But I can't let you go past that point. 267 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 2: And that came with maturity, that came with growth, that 268 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 2: came with mentorship. You know, I'm not gonna say I 269 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 2: just woke up and knew like, Okay, these are things 270 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 2: I have to do. These are the boundaries I have 271 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 2: to set. I didn't wake up those. 272 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 1: There's a lot of trial and error. You know. 273 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 2: You go with your heart and your gutting like okay, 274 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: this feels like a good fit, you know, and you're 275 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,319 Speaker 2: when you're first starting off and you're trying to put 276 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 2: your team together, you are just excited, you know, and 277 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 2: exciting when you find somebody who actually believes in you 278 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 2: because for so long no one believed in you. 279 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: And now you have people call and say, hey, I wud. 280 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 2: Love to represent you, and learning that you have to 281 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 2: really vet those people. You have to really take time 282 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,199 Speaker 2: to get to know what they've done, what their motives are, 283 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 2: and in that then you're able to set boundaries or 284 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 2: able to say, hey, you know what, this is no 285 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 2: longer serving me and I've had to do that and 286 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 2: it's really hard, especially when you really like the person, 287 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,959 Speaker 2: you like them, and but it's certain things with business, 288 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 2: it's like this isn't you're not getting the job done. 289 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 2: You gotta put your big girl panties on and do 290 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 2: the right thing for yourself. And again, it's about choosing 291 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 2: what's good for you. You you know, a lot of 292 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 2: times people I was watching this show on Netflix called 293 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:08,199 Speaker 2: How to. 294 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: Get Rich or something. 295 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 2: It's a really dope show about budgeting and you know, 296 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 2: just living within your means. And he was talking about 297 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: how this woman had a financial advice and he was like, 298 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 2: why are you paying someone a percentage? You should never 299 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,040 Speaker 2: do that and just teaching us things that nobody because 300 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 2: we're navigating this on our own, so we don't know 301 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 2: these things. 302 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: And he was like, you pay them their hourly rate. 303 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 2: And he was like, but a lot of people just 304 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: continue to keep that person on because oh they're nice 305 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 2: or my dad knows them, and oh they're a friend 306 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 2: of the family. 307 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: No, they're robbing you blind. 308 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 2: So like not saying anybody was doing that to me, 309 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 2: but these are things that you have to look out 310 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 2: for if you're not knowledgeable. And a lot of times 311 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 2: in my situation, I've been learning trial by error, you know, 312 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 2: and trying to figure it out and learning the lessons 313 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 2: as I go. And another thing that you have to 314 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 2: deal with when you are purging people out of your life. 315 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 2: Sometimes people will play on your emotions. 316 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: They will try to give you pushback. 317 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 2: But once you make your decision up, you have to 318 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 2: stand on that shit. I say it all the time 319 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 2: because a lot of times you think about, even in relationships, 320 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 2: like you've seen the signs, You've seen it all, but 321 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 2: you're like, oh, but these are some good things that 322 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 2: I liked. It's the same thing with business. God will 323 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 2: show you the signs. You'll see it pop up and 324 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 2: you'll ignore it or you'll take heed. If you don't 325 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 2: take heed, you will allow people to be like, well, like, 326 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 2: let's just give it another shot and let me show 327 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 2: you what I can do. 328 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: No, you've already showed me who you are. You already 329 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: showed me what. 330 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: You cannot do, so I'm not going to give you 331 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: any more time to waste. 332 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: We got to keep this thing. This train is moving. 333 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 2: It's moving real fast, so either you gonna get on 334 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 2: board and get with. 335 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 1: It or get left. 336 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 2: And when people try to start like pleading their case 337 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 2: and giving pushback. 338 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 1: It's like, no, this is where I stand. 339 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 2: And that's when on the episode of Get to Know Me, 340 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 2: that the little rebellious girl that's like, no, this is 341 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 2: what I want to do. She comes into play and says, hey, 342 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 2: this is where I staying. We're not doing this, and 343 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 2: that's my final answer. 344 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: Okay, goodbye. 345 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 2: So when it comes to even as a kid, like 346 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 2: I didn't like conflict. I always wanted to do I 347 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 2: want to be perfect, I want to do it right, 348 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 2: and didn't want any conflict from anybody even in school, 349 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 2: like never fought anybody, very unproblematic. But there was another 350 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 2: side of me that was very definitive, that knew exactly 351 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 2: what she wanted, how she wanted it. And even today, 352 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 2: I'm very particular about a lot of things. And I 353 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 2: think that just comes with one It comes from knowing 354 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,520 Speaker 2: exactly what you deserve, knowing your worth, what you bring 355 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 2: to the table. And he was a kid I al 356 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 2: I knew like I had a lot to bring to 357 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 2: the table. So it started at a very young age 358 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 2: where I was like, Nope, this is what I like, 359 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 2: that is what I don't like, and that's it. But 360 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 2: a lot of times people are like where where does 361 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 2: that come from? You know, I really don't know like 362 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 2: where it came from. I think it's just a part 363 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,719 Speaker 2: of my DNA that I'm very matter of fact. But 364 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,160 Speaker 2: I also do not like conflicts. Like I'm a I'm 365 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,640 Speaker 2: a liber I'm a very peaceful person. 366 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: I love balance. I don't really get into all the 367 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: signs and stuff. I just know those few things about leavers. 368 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 2: But when it comes to who I am at the core, 369 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 2: like I'm very unproblematic. 370 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: I like to find peaceful. 371 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,400 Speaker 2: Solutions even when I'm like upset, I find a positive 372 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 2: angle that come from I don't come. 373 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 1: Right at you with you did this, this, this, this, 374 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 1: and this. I say, hey, like, these. 375 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 2: Are the great things that you did, but these are 376 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 2: the areas that kind of bother me, or these are 377 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 2: the areas that we don't align. And I don't think 378 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 2: this relationship serves my brand or where I'm going. And 379 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 2: that's really how I just deal with it now, you know, 380 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 2: And as you become a business woman or a businessman, 381 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 2: you really have to stand firm on it because people. 382 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,439 Speaker 1: Will run over you. They'll run over you. 383 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,239 Speaker 2: They will put their ideas into your head and make 384 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,719 Speaker 2: you think, no, this is what you need to do. 385 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 2: You have to be very clear on where you're going 386 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 2: and what you're trying to do, or literally you're just 387 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 2: gonna be going in all different directions because oh, this 388 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 2: is what my manager told me to do, and this 389 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,120 Speaker 2: is what my agent told me to do, and then 390 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 2: this is what my boss telling me you do? No, 391 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 2: what do you want to do? And once you figure 392 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 2: that out, it's easier to stand firm on those things. 393 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 2: And I think that really has come with trial and error. 394 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: It's come with. 395 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 2: Confidence, it has come with learning, hey, this is the 396 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 2: direction I want to go in, and being intentional about that. 397 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 2: That's the main thing, figuring out, figuring out your purpose 398 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 2: and being very intentional to stay in that lane. 399 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 1: As Passadarys say, what's your street? 400 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 2: I'm on my street and this is where we're going. 401 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 2: Either y'all gonna ride with me or you're not. So 402 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 2: I think that's how I really got to the point 403 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,360 Speaker 2: of saying, Hey. 404 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: This is this is not working, or this is it. 405 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 1: This is exactly what I wanted, and let's move forward. 406 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 2: You go, and you know. 407 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:20,679 Speaker 1: About like, did you did you have the side you go? 408 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 2: Girl? 409 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:32,920 Speaker 1: Ain't nobody gonna let me go? Me. 410 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 2: I'm She asked me, how have I ever been on 411 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 2: the receiving end of somebody wanting to let me go? 412 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: I say, have I gonna let me go? Here? No, 413 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 1: I'm joking. Let me think. 414 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,399 Speaker 2: Oh, I really gotta think about this, because I'm like 415 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,400 Speaker 2: a catch and once they catch it, they really don't. 416 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 2: You know, a lot of times it's me saying that 417 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 2: they're not ready for this level of you know, love 418 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 2: that I had to give. 419 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 3: Mm No, I have to think about that. 420 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,919 Speaker 1: That's a that's a really good question. 421 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 2: Have I ever been on the receiving end of being 422 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:26,919 Speaker 2: let go? I remember my first best friend in I 423 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 2: think we started being best friends in middle school or 424 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 2: high school, and then we. 425 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: Ended up being roommates in. 426 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 2: College our freshman year, which is a big no no. 427 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 1: You never room with your best friend. And we ended 428 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,679 Speaker 1: up getting to an argument and it's like you know what, 429 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,440 Speaker 1: like I can't do this anymore, and that was both 430 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 1: of us. She ended up moving to a different room. 431 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 2: I stayed in the room and she moved, and that 432 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 2: really kind of just was the straw that brought the 433 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,159 Speaker 2: camel's back. I remember, like we really hadn't been closed 434 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 2: since then, Like it was one of those friendships where it. 435 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: Just never got back to where it was. 436 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 2: It's still it's no love life. When we see each other, 437 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 2: it's love because we were grown now. But that's one 438 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 2: instance where I remember someone walking out of my life. 439 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,440 Speaker 2: I guess, like even the situation where of the guy 440 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 2: that I didn't have sex with for that year and 441 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 2: now he's like with somebody totally different, walking a totally 442 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:32,199 Speaker 2: different light. Yeah, I guess that's that's the person that 443 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 2: I could tell like we were not aligned, and when 444 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 2: when we broke up, it was like, Okay, I had 445 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 2: seen the signs because he was getting more and more distant. 446 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,399 Speaker 2: So I would say, that's that's one recently where someone 447 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 2: walked out of my life. And I was okay with 448 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:54,400 Speaker 2: that because as I talked about and loved the way 449 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 2: God intended, I hadn't given my body to him. So 450 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 2: I was okay with him leaving and was like, okay, 451 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 2: cool because a lot of times for women, once we've 452 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 2: given ourselves to you, it's a different type of attachment 453 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 2: that we have, and for me that that instance where 454 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,120 Speaker 2: he walked away, it was like you're loss and. 455 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 1: It's still his loss. I mean, yeah, it's his loss, 456 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: but we're good. 457 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:37,439 Speaker 3: We're still friends. Until he watches this, you're like, oh, 458 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 3: we we're friends. 459 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:47,479 Speaker 1: No, you know what. Hmm. 460 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 2: When I think about other situations that a relationships, whether 461 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 2: it be friends relationship, mainly mainly friendships, a lot of 462 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 2: things kind of fizzle out on their own where I 463 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 2: don't have to say anything, you know, our lives start 464 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 2: to move in different directions and I don't really have 465 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 2: to address any issues that I may have seen because 466 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,639 Speaker 2: life just naturally takes different different course. Our lives naturally 467 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 2: take different courses. A lot of times, like I talked 468 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: about with my friend, I would when I realized I 469 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:39,959 Speaker 2: wasn't getting the same support and love that I was 470 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 2: giving out, I just started matching that energy. And that's 471 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 2: probably one of my toxic traits. I'll just match the 472 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,280 Speaker 2: energy and move on versus. 473 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: Being like, hey, let's sit down and have a talk. 474 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,639 Speaker 1: But I just don't feel like everybody deserves a talk, 475 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: you know. 476 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 2: I feel like some people you just gotta all right, 477 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 2: this is not going anywhere. We see what it is, 478 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: and I'm just not gonna waste my time on it 479 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: because I don't even want to give you the opportunity 480 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 2: to try to talk me out of it because it's over. 481 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:11,879 Speaker 2: And then some things I just don't even have the 482 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 2: energy or the capacity to even entertain, so I just 483 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 2: let it fizzle out. 484 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: I'll say, even when. 485 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:29,719 Speaker 2: It comes to purging people, it's not always an easy choice. 486 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 2: And then there are times where I'm like, dang, Like 487 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,920 Speaker 2: was I too hard on them? Should I have been 488 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 2: more graceful and gracious to them? 489 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: Should I have given them another chance? 490 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 2: But for me, in my big age, I feel like 491 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 2: when people show you who they are, believe them. That's 492 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,600 Speaker 2: just how I feel about it. And when I think 493 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,919 Speaker 2: back on people that have gone on with their lives 494 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:05,880 Speaker 2: and we s we parted ways, I feel like trying 495 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,639 Speaker 2: to think, has there been anyone that was like Dang, 496 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 2: I mean I should have given another chance? Cause no, 497 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: cause I'm I give people chances. 498 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: No, I would say, if you're out of my life, I. 499 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 2: And you really miss something to me, I've had several 500 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 2: conversations with you, I've communicated my issues, and if it 501 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 2: comes to a point where you're out of my. 502 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 1: Life, it's for a reason. 503 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 2: So I don't think I regretted it, but cause I 504 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 2: always give people a chance to prove who they are 505 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 2: and give them a chance to rectify it and correct it. 506 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 1: And if you don't do that, and that's on you. Yeah. 507 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,360 Speaker 2: So when I think about anybody that I've let go 508 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,199 Speaker 2: and ever regretted it or the thought that I did 509 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:56,640 Speaker 2: it too soon, no, mm. If I had to give 510 00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 2: younger Crystal some advice on when to let go and 511 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 2: when to hold on, because the intuition that I'm in 512 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 2: tune with now, I've always had it, but I didn't 513 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 2: always listen and I wasn't always in tune with it. 514 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 1: I would tell younger Crystal to. 515 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 2: One, know your boundaries, to understand that you have a 516 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 2: god given intuition. And even though you may not understand 517 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 2: what that feels like, as you continue to grow and 518 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,199 Speaker 2: grow into your womanhood, you will eventually realize what that 519 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 2: feels like and what that sounds like, and what the 520 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 2: voice of God sounds like. I would say, keep inventory, 521 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 2: you know, start keeping inventory at a young age. 522 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 1: You know. I feel like when I. 523 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,919 Speaker 2: Was younger, I just allowed people to run over me. 524 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 2: I allowed people to do whatever. I just was a 525 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 2: people person, people pleaser, Okay. I just want to keep 526 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 2: everybody happy. That's all I want I wanted everybody to be. 527 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 1: Happy, and at what cost. 528 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 2: It was at the cost of me not always being happy, 529 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:16,480 Speaker 2: and I thought that was a nice thing to do, 530 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,240 Speaker 2: but didn't realize how it was really affecting me. 531 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: I would tell younger Crystal to. 532 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,160 Speaker 2: Well, honestly, I probably would have told her to get 533 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 2: in therapy a lot younger, you know, at an early age, 534 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: because I. 535 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 1: Feel like that would have helped. 536 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,880 Speaker 2: Read a lot of the lessons that I just had 537 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 2: to go through because I didn't have that. You know, 538 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,439 Speaker 2: I did family therapy with my family, but that was 539 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 2: for other reasons, but just to have somebody to talk 540 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 2: to and really like bounce those ideas off of, and hey, 541 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,120 Speaker 2: these are the issues I'm having, this is what I'm seeing. 542 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,119 Speaker 2: Help me understand what's going on here. If I had 543 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 2: had that at a younger age, like kids nowadays do 544 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,920 Speaker 2: at their fingertips, it's readily available, I feel like I 545 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 2: would have definitely. 546 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: Bypassed a lot of heartache. 547 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 2: I would have bypassed because a lot of times your 548 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 2: heart is attached to your friends too. It's not always 549 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 2: a relationship with boyfriend and girlfriend heartache. There's a heartache 550 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,880 Speaker 2: from losing friends, family, whatever, the case and be jobs 551 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 2: your heart is involved if you're passionate about it, and 552 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 2: anyone that I'm in close contact to or close proximity to, 553 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,399 Speaker 2: I'm very passionate about them. 554 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: And I think that. 555 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 2: Also being aware of who you let close to you 556 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 2: and having that awareness that everybody's not for you and 557 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 2: pay attention to that, because for me, I just didn't 558 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 2: I couldn't fathom that because I'm not that type of person. 559 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 2: And you can't be so gullible that you don't see 560 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 2: the truth about people, because you know why I wouldn't 561 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 2: do that, Why would somebody to do that? Why wouldn't 562 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,920 Speaker 2: go break into a house? That doesn't mean people don't 563 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 2: do it. So you have to be aware of that 564 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 2: everyone is not like you, and that you can't go 565 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 2: around life thinking that, Okay, whatever I put out, I'm 566 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 2: going to get, because it doesn't work like that. 567 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 1: So I would say those few things. 568 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 2: Even that I wish I knew, you know, as I 569 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 2: was growing up, so that I could be more in 570 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,960 Speaker 2: tune with with my intuition and seeing the signs when 571 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 2: I asked for it, because I would ask for signs 572 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 2: at sixteen about. 573 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 1: A little boy like ooh Lord, just send me a sign. 574 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: This my boyfriend. 575 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 2: Now I'm asking for bigger signs, but I feel like 576 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 2: those are the things that I would tell younger Crystal 577 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 2: that I've learned as forty year old Crystal. So now 578 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 2: for my favorite part of the show, Positive outcomes were 579 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,160 Speaker 2: you guys writing to me and tell me what you're 580 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 2: going through and I. 581 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 1: Give you my advice the best that I can. 582 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 2: So this one says, Hey, So recently, I've been on 583 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 2: a self discovery journey and I'm just now starting to 584 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,960 Speaker 2: love myself again, feeling whole, being happy, and finding the 585 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 2: courage to pursue my dreams of becoming an actress, producer. 586 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 1: And entrepreneur. 587 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 2: I've learned that by walking away from certain people in 588 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 2: my life, I've been able to set myself free from 589 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 2: their baggage. For a long time, I've always felt the 590 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 2: need to be there for everyone and to always be 591 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 2: a safety net for people. I've been a friend and aunt, 592 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 2: a big sister and more. But the thing is, when 593 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,280 Speaker 2: I look around, there's very little to no one here 594 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 2: from me like I am there for them. Last year, 595 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 2: I cut off two of my friends. They were absolutely 596 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 2: awful and emotionally draining. I was battling so much anxiety 597 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 2: and stress, which led to suicidal thoughts and attempts because 598 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 2: I wasn't strong enough to let them go. It wasn't 599 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:46,160 Speaker 2: until I rededicated my life to God love that I 600 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 2: realized that holding on would hurt me more than letting go. 601 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 2: So I did when I talked about my dreams and goals. 602 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 2: I didn't feel heard when I would say to them 603 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 2: what I want to accomplish. 604 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like they cared. 605 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,640 Speaker 2: They are so consumed with their live spouses, partying, and 606 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 2: their kids. I'm single, I don't enjoy clubbing me neither, 607 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 2: and I don't have any kids me neither. My question 608 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,280 Speaker 2: is how do I audit my circle. I don't want 609 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 2: to lose our friends, but I also don't want to 610 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 2: feel guilt of my success. And if they're still where 611 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:23,440 Speaker 2: they are, I'm questioning how they feel about me. 612 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: Okay, wow, First of all, I get this on many levels. 613 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 1: I know what it's like to. 614 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 2: Not feel heard and feel seen by your friends, and 615 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 2: I want to commend you on rededicating your life to 616 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,959 Speaker 2: God because I feel like when you do that and 617 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 2: you find God all over again in a new way. 618 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 1: In this season in your life. 619 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 2: It's going to help guide you in a way that 620 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 2: you haven't been guided before, cause you were probably looking 621 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 2: to your friends for different affirmations when you need to 622 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 2: be looking God for confirmations. 623 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 1: I would say. 624 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 2: Auditing, which I call it inventory. Taking inventory of your 625 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 2: circle is very important. And like I said, just write 626 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 2: it down. Every time you feel something that makes you 627 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 2: go hmm, okay, that made me feel the type of way, 628 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 2: just write it down. Everything doesn't need to be addressed 629 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 2: at once. I would say, take on that and then 630 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 2: also find friends that are happy for you. Find friends 631 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 2: that have something going on. You know, a lot of 632 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,959 Speaker 2: times they say hurt people hurt people they do. If 633 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 2: they're not in a space where they can be happy 634 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 2: for you. Maybe you need to find a new set 635 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 2: of friends. And I feel like you may find that 636 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:54,480 Speaker 2: in church since you're rededicating your life to God. And 637 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 2: you said, I'm questioning how they feel about me. If 638 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 2: you ever have to question how someone feels about you, 639 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 2: that's not a friend. All my real friends, I don't 640 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 2: have to question it because we affirm each other daily. 641 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 2: We tell each other when we talk to each other, 642 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,240 Speaker 2: like how much we love each other, how proud we are. 643 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 1: We are our biggest cheerleaders. 644 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,240 Speaker 2: So if you have to question that, I think that 645 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 2: in itself is a red flag. 646 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm praying for you. 647 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you're moving in a new direction 648 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 2: in your light, and I feel like these are the 649 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,720 Speaker 2: things you need to take into consideration and make sure 650 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 2: you write those things. 651 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: Down, all right. 652 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 2: I wish the best of luck, and especially on becoming 653 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 2: an actress, producing an entrepreneur. 654 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 1: Those are not easy feats, but it's something. If I 655 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: can do it, you can do it. 656 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 2: There's so many people that have been successful in those 657 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 2: areas and anything you want to do, stick your mind 658 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 2: to it. Maybe focus more on what you're trying to 659 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,000 Speaker 2: do than focusing on how people feel about you. That's 660 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 2: another thing I would say, all right, I love you, 661 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 2: and that's which is. 662 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 1: All right. 663 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 2: What I'm going through and what I am growing through, 664 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 2: going through and growing through right now in this season, 665 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:24,520 Speaker 2: I am going through losing people, you know, thinking that 666 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 2: everybody that was gonna come with me isn't And they 667 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 2: say that everybody that comes with you can't go with you, 668 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 2: and that's a real thing. And I'm learning that to 669 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 2: be more and more true every day. So that's what 670 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:42,440 Speaker 2: I'm going through. What I'm growing through is understanding that 671 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,719 Speaker 2: I two have work to do, that I too am 672 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:51,360 Speaker 2: not perfect, that I too have to do inventory. 673 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: I have to fix myself. 674 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 2: I have to unlearned things, I have to unpack and 675 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 2: continue to heal, and I have to do what's best 676 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 2: for Chris in this healing season, in this purging season, 677 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 2: and understand that nothing is personal. It's all about my path. 678 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 2: It's all about my purpose and where I'm going. And 679 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 2: if it doesn't serve that, then it can't reside here. 680 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 2: So that's what I'm going through and what I'm growing through, 681 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,799 Speaker 2: and we do our. 682 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,840 Speaker 1: Keep it Blake Sweetie. 683 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 2: For this one, I would say, keep inventory, Sweetie, keep inventory. 684 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,759 Speaker 2: All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into 685 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,720 Speaker 2: this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweety Guys, healing, I'm growing. 686 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 2: I'm learning so much about myself. I'm learning a lot 687 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,640 Speaker 2: about you guys too, as we both heal together. I 688 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,799 Speaker 2: appreciate you guys for your love and support. I see you, 689 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 2: I hear you, and I love you guys so much. 690 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,360 Speaker 2: If you want to write into my listener letter, you 691 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,320 Speaker 2: can write into Keep It Positsweetie at gmail dot com 692 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 2: and you can follow me on all platforms at love 693 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 2: Chris Ornee and you can follow Keep it positive, sweetie, 694 00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,759 Speaker 2: And that's with an Ie on all platforms as well. 695 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 2: That's keep it positive sweet with an i E. All Right, guys, 696 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:06,080 Speaker 2: I love you so much. Until next time, you know 697 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 2: what to do. Keep it positive, Sweetie. 698 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 1: Let's talk about that.