1
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,360
Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's bringing innovation to the world

2
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:12,640
Speaker 1: of air travel with a new airline perk, reclining seats

3
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,520
Speaker 1: that only lean forward.

4
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,160
Speaker 2: You want to look over your.

5
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,600
Speaker 1: Lunch like a t Rex in a cage. Your head's

6
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,119
Speaker 1: going to be right up against that tree table in

7
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,000
Speaker 1: front of you. You can fly in the fetal position comfortably.

8
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,519
Speaker 1: With Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

9
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,800
Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,280
Speaker 1: we've got a laser and there's other barfbaggers.

11
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 2: Just don't imagine.

12
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,600
Speaker 1: His first laser story is out of North Carolina. A

13
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,479
Speaker 1: former employee broke into a little Caesars the other night

14
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: and surprisingly didn't take a thing. Instead, he fired up

15
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:55,120
Speaker 1: the ovens and started making and selling pizzas without permission.

16
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,560
Speaker 3: That's just a guy who loves his job.

17
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:04,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, the cops say, forty one year old Jonathan Hackett

18
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,679
Speaker 1: got in after they closed for the night, opened the

19
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,440
Speaker 1: place back up, started selling pizza pies to people driving

20
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 1: by and on Facebook, then pocketed the money for himself.

21
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,480
Speaker 4: Wow, I feel like it's an honest way to steal

22
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,160
Speaker 4: from a company.

23
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, the most honest.

24
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:26,679
Speaker 1: He's stealing money. The ingredients are his, but no word

25
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,600
Speaker 1: on how many pizzas he sold or what he charged.

26
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,440
Speaker 2: But Jonathan was busy.

27
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,640
Speaker 1: He did a four hour shift and called it a

28
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,880
Speaker 1: night at three am, then went home and went to sleep.

29
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,120
Speaker 3: That's a hard shift and you had to do everything yourself.

30
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, good for him.

31
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,960
Speaker 1: So he actually didn't get caught the first time he

32
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,400
Speaker 1: did it. It's only when he tried a second time

33
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,080
Speaker 1: that he actually got busted. Apparently he showed up too

34
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 1: early on a Sunday night and the employees were still

35
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,440
Speaker 1: there and got into a fistfight with him.

36
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,440
Speaker 4: He left the company with some bad blood. Yeah.

37
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,359
Speaker 1: Well, they were trying to stop him from breaking in

38
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,519
Speaker 1: and that turned into a brawl.

39
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,280
Speaker 2: So his injuries were bad.

40
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,600
Speaker 1: Enough that the cops took him to a hospital first

41
00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:19,960
Speaker 1: and then to jail.

42
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,240
Speaker 2: And in his mugshot you can actually see his right

43
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,200
Speaker 2: eye is totally swollen. Shot.

44
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:27,720
Speaker 4: Dude.

45
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 2: He's funny to imagine.

46
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,120
Speaker 1: They're like trying to leave and he's like, no, no, no,

47
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:36,800
Speaker 1: leave that flower out. And he's facing three felony charges

48
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,520
Speaker 1: for breaking and entering. His former manager commented, saying, if

49
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,320
Speaker 1: he had shown this much initiative when he actually worked there,

50
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,240
Speaker 1: then he probably would have gotten a raise.

51
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,040
Speaker 3: Gosh pizza when he opens his own shop.

52
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:50,959
Speaker 2: Such good pizza.

53
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,600
Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of v Day, Me

54
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:58,160
Speaker 1: Day headquarters. If your dream is to get engaged at

55
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,280
Speaker 1: Dave and Busters, this is something you need to know

56
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:02,640
Speaker 1: about the.

57
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:09,760
Speaker 3: Machine.

58
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,560
Speaker 1: That's exactly what they're doing now, excess, your dreams have

59
00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:18,280
Speaker 1: come true for Valentine's Day this year, DNB's is transforming

60
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 1: their viral human Crane into a one of a kind

61
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 1: proposal experience by placing five fifteen thousand dollars three carrot

62
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,000
Speaker 1: diamond engagement.

63
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:33,560
Speaker 2: Rings inside the game. That is like unbelievable.

64
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,440
Speaker 4: This is like the radio promotions where like there's one

65
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,400
Speaker 4: ring in the cakes and everybody has to smash in

66
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,440
Speaker 4: order to find it.

67
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, if you haven't seen it before.

68
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,760
Speaker 1: The human crane lowers guests into a pit of oversized

69
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,320
Speaker 1: gifts where they use their arms to grab a prize.

70
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like in a harness, and then another person

71
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,640
Speaker 4: controls where they're.

72
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 2: Going ride, start at twenty bucks to ride and try

73
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,000
Speaker 2: to do each attempt.

74
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,880
Speaker 3: Getting a tiny little ring out of that huge pit.

75
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,440
Speaker 2: Though, well, yeah that's true. What are the other prizes?

76
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:06,000
Speaker 2: I will say.

77
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 1: If it sounds magical, it's not quite as wild as

78
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,320
Speaker 1: it makes it seem because the rings will only be

79
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,880
Speaker 1: planted at five locations, and they're all in New York

80
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,400
Speaker 1: and California, and the actual rings themselves won't be inside

81
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,000
Speaker 1: the crane game. It'll just be a placeholder that you

82
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,000
Speaker 1: can redeem later on.

83
00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:26,520
Speaker 3: You sir, what they don't know?

84
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,359
Speaker 4: That's anti They don't trust their employees have to steal

85
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,200
Speaker 4: that ring a fake one.

86
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, they actually cleared it out, but like, no, never

87
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:33,920
Speaker 2: found the ring.

88
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, so even if you did score the big prize,

89
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,200
Speaker 1: you wouldn't actually get it on Valentine's Deck.

90
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,520
Speaker 2: Well, what the heck?

91
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:42,640
Speaker 3: I mean, it's still be cool to win a fifteen

92
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 3: thousand dollars ring.

93
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,120
Speaker 2: Totally totally super romantic.

94
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,120
Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of the area between

95
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,760
Speaker 1: a rock and a hard place. Yeah, if you drizzled

96
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,280
Speaker 1: this on your cereal this morning, you might have an

97
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,600
Speaker 1: interesting day.

98
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,240
Speaker 2: At the office. Drizzle stuff on cereal.

99
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 1: Because a bunch of honey just got recalled after the

100
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,400
Speaker 1: FDA found an ingredient meant for treating a rectile dysfunction.

101
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,120
Speaker 2: It's a special honey. I've heard about this stuff.

102
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,880
Speaker 1: They claim it's specially formulated honey that gives you more energy,

103
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,280
Speaker 1: maybe a little too much energy. Yes, me, but the

104
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 1: FDA tested samples and found the main ingredient in sealis

105
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,680
Speaker 1: is in there. Oh and side effects include dizziness, headaches,

106
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,080
Speaker 1: and unintended tent pole moments.

107
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,160
Speaker 2: Yeah you know there's.

108
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,520
Speaker 4: One guy just guzzling honey hoping it has it in there.

109
00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 3: It's no idea like.

110
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,080
Speaker 2: Just get me more, Sonny's magical.

111
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,039
Speaker 1: All the bottles being recalled have an expiration date of

112
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,640
Speaker 1: October twenty twenty eight, and they were sold through the

113
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,080
Speaker 1: company's website, but also through sites like.

114
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,200
Speaker 2: Amazon, So check your honey bottles.

115
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,880
Speaker 1: How funny if this trickles down to honey nut Cheerios factory.

116
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my, I think it's a new new definition

117
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 4: of hot honey.

118
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:58,560
Speaker 2: Oh go brook icy for two reasons.

119
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,760
Speaker 1: Let's go to your final laser stowe out of the

120
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,960
Speaker 1: popcorn pavilions.

121
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,600
Speaker 2: Am I supposed to be hungry? Well?

122
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,599
Speaker 1: There used to be nothing that would make your school

123
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,200
Speaker 1: day better than when the teacher wheeled in a TV

124
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,960
Speaker 1: on a cart for the whole class to sit back

125
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,320
Speaker 1: and watch a movie.

126
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,799
Speaker 3: Turn those lights up and start passing notes.

127
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently today's students aren't so excited about it, because

128
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,760
Speaker 1: a new survey talked to twenty different film studies professors,

129
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,880
Speaker 1: and every single one of them had stories of students

130
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,679
Speaker 1: struggling to sit through films in class without checking their phones.

131
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,440
Speaker 2: No, they all they can't pay attention to a whole movie,

132
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,760
Speaker 2: not even close.

133
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,160
Speaker 1: They also couldn't answer basic questions about the film that

134
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,840
Speaker 1: they had just watched.

135
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 3: It man like.

136
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 1: For example, a University of Wisconsin professor showed his class

137
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,040
Speaker 1: a nineteen.

138
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,479
Speaker 2: Sixty two film called Jewels and Jim.

139
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,640
Speaker 1: He said more than half of the students said the

140
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,400
Speaker 1: characters were hiding from the Nazis, even though the film

141
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,039
Speaker 1: was set.

142
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,880
Speaker 2: During World War One, So no, not.

143
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,320
Speaker 3: They were yet and just guessing. They saw military uniforms.

144
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,880
Speaker 1: They figured all bad guys, that's just how And the

145
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,920
Speaker 1: majority of young adults said the main character got drunk

146
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,720
Speaker 1: with Ernest Hemingway, who does not appear in that film

147
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:21,160
Speaker 1: at all.

148
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,680
Speaker 2: Don't know where they even got that idea.

149
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,400
Speaker 3: I don't think My husband's far from that. We watched

150
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,840
Speaker 3: an entire we watched.

151
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,640
Speaker 4: Three seasons of Stranger Things, and we went to go

152
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,560
Speaker 4: put on the fourth and he was like, I've never

153
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,280
Speaker 4: seen this before.

154
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,360
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's bad.

155
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:34,960
Speaker 3: What happened?

156
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,800
Speaker 2: The age is starting to set in, Bro.

157
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,040
Speaker 1: Most teachers have resorted to only asking students to watch

158
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,520
Speaker 1: portions of films now, which is a practice that mirrors

159
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,360
Speaker 1: what high school teachers are doing in English class, only

160
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,920
Speaker 1: assigning single chapters of books to read.

161
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,120
Speaker 2: That's what I was gonna say.

162
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,200
Speaker 1: It's like, I'll just cover one chapter because entire ones

163
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,600
Speaker 1: are way too big of an ask during this day

164
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,000
Speaker 1: and age.

165
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,600
Speaker 3: How do you understand it if you don't read? Or

166
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,720
Speaker 3: what chat t bro.

167
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,200
Speaker 2: For you? Come on, we give them such a big assignment.

168
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,280
Speaker 1: Speaking of too big, somebody just jumped a crapload of

169
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:12,920
Speaker 1: honey on his.

170
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:17,320
Speaker 2: Breakfast boissade today and he is being larger than like.

171
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:19,800
Speaker 3: Ache.

172
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,240
Speaker 1: That's so means Laser Stories has come to an end

173
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,000
Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again, same time on Monday,

174
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,440
Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning,