WEBVTT - IN THE BASEMENT

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<v Speaker 1>All from Tommy.

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<v Speaker 2>Talk to me, Tommy moham man, what's up?

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<v Speaker 1>How are you going on?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing okay, I'm trying my best. What's up. How's

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<v Speaker 2>it going?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's going I get a bit too unfold and

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<v Speaker 1>I have a wonderful super surprise at the end.

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<v Speaker 3>You said, you have a bit too unfold and a

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<v Speaker 3>wonderful surprise at the end.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that what you just said?

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<v Speaker 1>That is that is exactly what I said.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, well, unfold right into my into my ass. Hit

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<v Speaker 3>mat what's going on?

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<v Speaker 4>All right?

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<v Speaker 1>So start this out in my axe broke up back

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<v Speaker 1>in December, had to move back to my parents. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>like an hour away or so, I'm in I'm in

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<v Speaker 1>New York Connecticut area. That's been super hard. I uh

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<v Speaker 1>worked or her brother doing welding and stuff, and uh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, he had wanted me to stay. I was like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I just need to get like all

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<v Speaker 1>of it out of my life. Yeah, her brother, you

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<v Speaker 1>had any connection with her, but yeah, I don't know. Sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a little Uh. I didn't think you were going

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<v Speaker 1>to answer.

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<v Speaker 2>You broke up with you said you broke up with

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<v Speaker 2>your girlfriends.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, we broke up. We were just you know,

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit toxic drinking and getting the sights and

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<v Speaker 1>ship and.

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<v Speaker 3>Ah, okay, what's for both both party animals? But so well,

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<v Speaker 3>what kind of tell me more about this toxicity?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Just late night she was a serverre atte a

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<v Speaker 1>restaurant and uh, like summertime, she get home like two

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<v Speaker 1>three in the morning. I don't know, food and bed industry. Usually,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you have a few drinks at the end

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<v Speaker 1>of the night. Whenever she'd come home fucking blasted, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'd be like, what the fuck? Mhm, uh, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Anytime I'm like, you know, we'd go out, she would

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<v Speaker 1>just that sort of throw me to the side, I guess,

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<v Speaker 1>and I get sucked up and we'll get home. Everything'd

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<v Speaker 1>be cool, and they fucking just fight over some random stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I needed I don't. I don't know you, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know your life.

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<v Speaker 3>But from what you are telling me right now, it

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<v Speaker 3>sounds like this breakup was a good thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, definitely, uh yeah, definitely good for my mental

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<v Speaker 1>health and probably probably a little bit of physical health too.

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<v Speaker 1>But uh started working back and when you know, got

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<v Speaker 1>up to my parents, took like a month, aful work

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<v Speaker 1>at some money safe, So just chilling being depressed in

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<v Speaker 1>my parents' fucking basement.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there we go, which is cool.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, everyone's got to do that. Sometimes you do.

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<v Speaker 2>You got to do that.

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<v Speaker 3>Sometimes you absolutely got to do that. Sometimes I'm what

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<v Speaker 3>the fuck was I gonna say?

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<v Speaker 1>So?

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<v Speaker 2>How long ago was?

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<v Speaker 1>This was early December, like mid December, like in the

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<v Speaker 1>team's December teams.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so it's been a few months.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's been a few months. Definitely do a lot better.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh good, what's what's been better?

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<v Speaker 1>I guess, well, I'm sorry. Okay. So where she lives.

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<v Speaker 1>She lives like forty minutes away from me, from the

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<v Speaker 1>town that I grew up in. So about like six

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<v Speaker 1>seven months after we started dating, we were like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if she had to get a new apartment because she

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<v Speaker 1>got a you know, we got a dog and dog

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't allowed in an old apartment. Well, I guess we

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<v Speaker 1>didn't get she got a dog. So I was think,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, why don't I why don't we move in together? Sucky?

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<v Speaker 1>We heard you, you know, we'd like each other. We

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<v Speaker 1>knew we were in it for the long term, for

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<v Speaker 1>the most part, but I guess we moved a little quick,

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<v Speaker 1>but I you know, I moved down to where she

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<v Speaker 1>was from and left, like you know, my family didn't

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<v Speaker 1>leave them. You know it's forty minutes, not like it's

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<v Speaker 1>hours away, but you know, left my family, friends and stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Get a little distant with my friends. Sort of happened

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<v Speaker 1>to a lot of people and you get into a relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, So did you rekindle your your relationship with your

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<v Speaker 2>friends now that you are not?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean it was it was never like I

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<v Speaker 1>never burned any bridges, Like I always talking to them

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<v Speaker 1>anytime I was up here, head go, you hit them

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<v Speaker 1>up and stuff, and uh, we were hanging out every

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<v Speaker 1>once in a while. It definitely wasn't as close for

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<v Speaker 1>catching up as much like I'd play Xbox with a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of my friends from down there, which is cool.

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<v Speaker 1>But now that I'm backed up here, definitely rekindled the pome.

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<v Speaker 1>My boys been hanging out, which is cool.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's good, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Doing some uh been abusing adder all bit.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was a drug. Yeah, oh yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I worked long hours, worked eleven hour days. Went back

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<v Speaker 1>to my old job that pizzeria I worked at like

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<v Speaker 1>during high school and stuff. Who all the guys there

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<v Speaker 1>that we were like a big family there, like been

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<v Speaker 1>super close with them forever, and uh, a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>guys got I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't decide if a pizza made by five dudes

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<v Speaker 3>on Adderall would be better or worse than.

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<v Speaker 1>I guarantee that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm sure fucking we'll get that ship to you

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<v Speaker 3>in twenty minutes or less, fuck thirty.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah we don't deliver. Though we did not deliver.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't deliver, then what's the adderall for?

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<v Speaker 1>Adderall? Just for sucking get through the day with all

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<v Speaker 1>the shitty fucking customers.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so this was three months ago. What's what are

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<v Speaker 2>you doing with your life now? Are you? You got it? Dude?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I mean I don't know your life.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know what your feelings do, but uh, I

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<v Speaker 3>mean hanging out with your boys and making pizzas it's

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<v Speaker 3>good life in my from where I sit. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>what do you want?

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<v Speaker 2>More?

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<v Speaker 4>Do you?

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on? What's missing?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Chuck? Being lowly? My friends closer friends are like

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<v Speaker 1>like your relationships and stuff, and it's just like my

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<v Speaker 1>buddy's birthday was last week, went over to his house

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<v Speaker 1>and like, yeah, I'm the fucking like eleventh wheel there

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone just yeah, which is fun, you know whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not like, I don't want to sound like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like fucking jealous or anything, because no, I'm very happy

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<v Speaker 1>for that that thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, I got you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, a little bit of a I've been drinking a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit more than usual. Yeah yeah, drinking that at all,

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like peanut butter and jelly.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I so get it.

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<v Speaker 3>I've had a couple of times where I've had anxiety

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<v Speaker 3>that was just like anxiety or loneliness that was just like, so,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not a big alcohol guy. I'm not a big drink.

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<v Speaker 3>I've mainly been like a big pot smoker my my

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<v Speaker 3>whole life. But I've had a few times where my

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<v Speaker 3>just anxiety or my loneliness was so bad that I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, fuck it, let's just get drunk so that

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<v Speaker 3>we can like numb the feelings. And I did it,

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<v Speaker 3>and every single time, I'm like, oh, I one hundred

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<v Speaker 3>percent understand how people become alcoholics. It makes so much

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<v Speaker 3>sense because it just numbs. It numbs these feelings that

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<v Speaker 3>are so like difficult to.

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<v Speaker 2>Difficult to not.

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<v Speaker 3>Like a difficult to deal with and then be impossible

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<v Speaker 3>to solve. I don't want to say impossible, because I

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<v Speaker 3>like to be optimistic, and I do think that your

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<v Speaker 3>level of optimism is a strong indicator of the quality

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<v Speaker 3>of your life. So I like to remain optimistic that

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<v Speaker 3>these feelings that you're trying to numb are are solvable.

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<v Speaker 2>But they're really hard.

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<v Speaker 3>Even with the wealth of information, to solve them because like,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, people are like even like loneliness is difficult

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<v Speaker 3>to solve in the sense of, oh, you're lonely, go

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<v Speaker 3>get friends or go get a relationship. But then it's like,

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<v Speaker 3>even if you do that successfully, I mean, look what happens,

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<v Speaker 3>you know with you You were in this relationship, you

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<v Speaker 3>were with this woman, but it was it wasn't It

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<v Speaker 3>ended up badly with you know, all the drinking and

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<v Speaker 3>the and the fighting. So it's like, whether you're whether

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<v Speaker 3>you want to be alone or you want to integrate

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<v Speaker 3>other people into your life, you're going to run into

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<v Speaker 3>into conflict. You know, conflict it's really hard to to

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<v Speaker 3>deal with. So it's like, why not just get pissed

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<v Speaker 3>and not have to you know, like, you know, just

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<v Speaker 3>decide to decide to not show up for work metaphorically,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, not show up for the work of life.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if that's a hell yeah brother. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if that is a hell.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, brother.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that is necessarily a hell yeah brother.

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<v Speaker 3>Because I I'd like to think that there's something I'd

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<v Speaker 3>like to think that that there's nobility in showing up

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<v Speaker 3>for the work of life and dealing with things instead

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<v Speaker 3>of getting drunk and numbing them.

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<v Speaker 1>But well, no, no, I wasn't hell yeah and brother, oh.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, sure sure. But that's why I'd like to think that,

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<v Speaker 3>because I don't know the answer to any of this

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<v Speaker 3>ship that I'm amusing with you about.

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<v Speaker 2>But so you're feeling lonely, and.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm trying to I've been hidden, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>asking my friends like I have two groups of friends,

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<v Speaker 1>like pizzeria guys I'm being super super close with, and

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<v Speaker 1>I have like my high school friends and are like

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<v Speaker 1>my brothers in a sense, you know, friend from school

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever. And uh oh, I've been hitting the muf

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yo, guys, you guys want to go loud

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<v Speaker 1>so I can say you want to go loud, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>help me find you know, I can tell them to

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<v Speaker 1>talk to so I'm not helping me, you know, come

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<v Speaker 1>out with me when you try and talk to some

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<v Speaker 1>girls or something. And I realized something, excuse this, and

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<v Speaker 1>that I can't. I can't. So P three, you guys

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<v Speaker 1>have been pulling me a lot more. But uh, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I just feel like that. I also don't

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<v Speaker 1>really have too much support from my brother friends on

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<v Speaker 1>this more than like, you know, a little lesson, but

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<v Speaker 1>I would like at least And you know, I've tried

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<v Speaker 1>try to reach out, tried talking with him and everything

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<v Speaker 1>they talked to I don't know. I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting out here.

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<v Speaker 2>But no, you want you want, you want, you want

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<v Speaker 2>the boy? You want the boys in your corner?

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<v Speaker 1>Yea, And the boys are always in my corner. I

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<v Speaker 1>never Yeah, boys are always.

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<v Speaker 2>In my corner. How old? How old are you? I'm

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<v Speaker 2>twenty six, twenty six? When you're this is hard. When

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<v Speaker 2>you get older, your friends start to have their own lives,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Which is fine. I like, I get that one hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, but it's stressful. It really is stressful.

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<v Speaker 3>Stressful when you you like your friends are like everyone's

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<v Speaker 3>like kind of like you start out like we're all

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<v Speaker 3>in this together, and then everyone it's just like a

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<v Speaker 3>natural part of growing up, like everyone starts to form

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<v Speaker 3>their own lives, and you're looking at your own, like

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<v Speaker 3>you're looking at your own little sand castle, and you're

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<v Speaker 3>kind of trying to make sure that it is, like

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<v Speaker 3>it's hard. It's hard to build your sound castle alone.

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<v Speaker 3>But that's like, yeah, it's hard. It's hard to build

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<v Speaker 3>your sand castle alone in your parents' basement.

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<v Speaker 2>It's hard. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh all right, well well yeah, I guess I guess

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<v Speaker 1>that does it on that.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, that's so depressing. It's so depressing the way

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<v Speaker 3>what you just did. It really was so depressing. You

0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.880
<v Speaker 3>were like, yep, sucks. Anyway, thanks for calling, Thanks for

0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:46.720
<v Speaker 3>picking up my call.

0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:48.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go.

0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:52.680
<v Speaker 3>Uh, I don't want to go faster in the bathroom,

0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:54.240
<v Speaker 3>so what I.

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.640
<v Speaker 1>Really want to call that? You know, that break up

0:11:56.679 --> 0:12:00.120
<v Speaker 1>thing definitely helped, Thank you. Okay, I have I have

0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:08.599
<v Speaker 1>your fucking doppel ganger. You have, I have your doppelganger

0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:12.600
<v Speaker 1>works at the pizzeria. He is actually not an adderall

0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:16.960
<v Speaker 1>one or a drinker, so he's a he's a California

0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:17.840
<v Speaker 1>sober sally.

0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:23.559
<v Speaker 2>What of what makes him my doppelganger?

0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.599
<v Speaker 1>He's he's your twin? He is? He is you? I

0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.680
<v Speaker 1>do that at the pizzeria. I've been so I started

0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:35.080
<v Speaker 1>watching you maybe a year give or take ago, you know,

0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:37.840
<v Speaker 1>maybe ten months or whatever. And as soon as you

0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 1>came up on my Instagram seed randomly, I was like,

0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:43.440
<v Speaker 1>suggested post and I thought it was him, and I

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.120
<v Speaker 1>was like, what the fuck? I texted. I was like you, Anthony.

0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.320
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I was like, this isn't you right?

0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:50.000
<v Speaker 1>I was like, it's sort of, you know, sort of

0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 1>doesn't look like you, but he's your twin. That didn't

0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.080
<v Speaker 1>make sense, But he is? He is your fucking twin?

0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.520
<v Speaker 2>Is he is? He is? He look like me? Does

0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:01.080
<v Speaker 2>he act like me? How is he my twin?

0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.679
<v Speaker 1>Dude? He sounds exactly you look and sounds exactly like

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.920
<v Speaker 1>he has the floor. He's not with me right now,

0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:10.400
<v Speaker 1>but like, is there any way I can send like

0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.280
<v Speaker 1>a picture of him to you? Because I think you

0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.920
<v Speaker 1>guys need to do a fucking live show together or

0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:18.480
<v Speaker 1>a live stream together, both you dressed up as gettos.

0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.600
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm not gonna do that, but send us, send

0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.200
<v Speaker 3>me a send me a picture of him.

0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 1>Can I just do it through this chat?

0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean you do it through the phone. That's fun

0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:28.520
<v Speaker 2>number that you're on right now.

0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 1>Do it right now?

0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Sure, for sure. What How do you how? What

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:34.679
<v Speaker 2>is he like? How's he like me? What's he like

0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:35.320
<v Speaker 2>as a person.

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 1>He's just like like he's just like the most oddball

0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:41.880
<v Speaker 1>person and again in great way. It's funny as hell,

0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 1>Like I don't know, he's he's been like the closest

0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.280
<v Speaker 1>with me right now with this like relation you with

0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 1>this relationship and everything, and yeah, sorry, and dude, I

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:52.200
<v Speaker 1>don't know. He's just like I don't know. We just

0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:55.280
<v Speaker 1>funk around the people, Like like at the pizzeria, they

0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.319
<v Speaker 1>got another guy like I'm six foot seven, fucking skinny,

0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.720
<v Speaker 1>like a white dude, and I got another guy works

0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:05.480
<v Speaker 1>for six foot five skinny, Yeah, white dude. So everyone

0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.320
<v Speaker 1>thinks for brothers. So we just fuck with customers, not

0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 1>fuck with them in like a mean way, but you know,

0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:11.720
<v Speaker 1>we use it like a little like it's our stage.

0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.640
<v Speaker 2>We just I'm sorry people fire.

0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 3>You're six foot seven, yes, sir, you're like you're like

0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 3>literally you're two of me.

0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:24.080
<v Speaker 1>Wait, okay, so Anthony, I'm like.

0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Three ft tall, I'm like two feet tall?

0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:32.120
<v Speaker 1>Now get go, get go's max? What foot?

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Well? I'm how tall am I? I'm like someone in

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.880
<v Speaker 2>the chat just said, GEK loves tall men. I do,

0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:39.920
<v Speaker 2>got I I don't like.

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.880
<v Speaker 3>It's been a long journey, but I've come to terms

0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.520
<v Speaker 3>with my heights.

0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:49.320
<v Speaker 2>And uh, I've accepted that I'm like five six and

0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:49.720
<v Speaker 2>a half.

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I used to tell people Anthony is five seven, Bro,

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:53.760
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck?

0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.680
<v Speaker 3>Maybe that's probably what it is. It's probably what it is. No,

0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.440
<v Speaker 3>I still do tell people on five to seven sometimes.

0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:04.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's hilarious, dude. I'm telling you, guys are fucking

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.720
<v Speaker 1>spitting images of each other. I swear. Do you want

0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>me to send them right now? I forgot?

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:10.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I thought I thought that thought what you were doing.

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:13.320
<v Speaker 3>I thought I was vamping on the phone with you

0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 3>until you uh yeah, just.

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Someone said I love tall men. I don't know. I

0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.240
<v Speaker 2>just I wonder what it's like. I'm not. I'm not

0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:25.040
<v Speaker 2>one of those guy.

0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.320
<v Speaker 3>I think I maybe used to be in my younger years,

0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:29.600
<v Speaker 3>were a little bit more fixated on my height, but

0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:34.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm less so as I get older, but I do.

0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:36.800
<v Speaker 3>I wonder sometimes I'm like, what's it like to be,

0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:38.840
<v Speaker 3>you know, six feet tall?

0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.760
<v Speaker 1>It seems nice, you know, everyone thinks it's all fun

0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.000
<v Speaker 1>and games, which, don't get me wrong, it's i'd rather be.

0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:46.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think six seven is a little

0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:50.040
<v Speaker 1>too tall when I'm not a fucking basketball player, like

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:53.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, trying, you know, volleyball player or something like.

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:56.360
<v Speaker 2>Did you text me this yet?

0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:01.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying. I'm finding a picture of Sorry. I looked

0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:03.480
<v Speaker 1>on his entergram and he hasn't posted in like eighteen years.

0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Actually got a picture of both of us here Halloween.

0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 1>He was trying to be tony soprano.

0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:12.200
<v Speaker 3>All right, Well, I go, I feel like you're gonna

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:13.640
<v Speaker 3>send it. I feel like this isn't going to be.

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:14.840
<v Speaker 3>This guy's not going to look.

0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:15.400
<v Speaker 2>Anything like me.

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Dude, he is. I'm telling you, bro, I've convinced so

0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:23.000
<v Speaker 1>many people to pizzeria that his account is yours.

0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:24.480
<v Speaker 2>Did you text it to me yet?

0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:25.920
<v Speaker 1>I just I just sent it.

0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:30.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, all right, hold on, let me try to find it.

0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.880
<v Speaker 3>It's six six seven is a little too tall.

0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, dude, I have a queen size bed. I literally

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.400
<v Speaker 1>have to fucking sleep diagonally on.

0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 2>It, like, Okay, you sent it to this phone number,

0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:43.040
<v Speaker 2>the four oh one phone number you texted it to that. Oh,

0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:44.440
<v Speaker 2>there we go. Okay, I just got it. I just

0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 2>got it. This guy does not look like me at all.

0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Bro, you're nuts. You're not You're nuts.

0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:53.240
<v Speaker 3>This guy does not look like me. He's just another

0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:54.240
<v Speaker 3>hairy Jewish guy.

0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:58.000
<v Speaker 1>He's not even Jewish.

0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:01.600
<v Speaker 3>Keep he looks like he's wearing a keep on in

0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:05.000
<v Speaker 3>the thing. No, he's This guy does not look like

0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:05.480
<v Speaker 3>me at all.

0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.520
<v Speaker 1>You're smoking a brother, He's just he's.

0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:16.280
<v Speaker 3>Just five seven, Harry white, dude with a beer. He's

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.119
<v Speaker 3>in the same genre of guy as me physically, but

0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:19.760
<v Speaker 3>he's not.

0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:22.719
<v Speaker 2>He's also a little skinnier. He's also a little skinnier.

0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:24.560
<v Speaker 1>He is a little skinnier. He is a little skinnier.

0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:27.919
<v Speaker 2>Jim, I'm looking more at you. Man. You're like a whole.

0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.520
<v Speaker 2>You are twice the size of this other guy.

0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and taller too.

0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:41.800
<v Speaker 2>Man. I I'm you. You have a lot.

0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:43.720
<v Speaker 3>You You've got a good life. Man, I really hope

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 3>you're I understand. We all get lonely sometimes and it's

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 3>a it's a bummer. And I've been there a lot

0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:50.920
<v Speaker 3>of a lot of times in my life. But you

0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:52.240
<v Speaker 3>you got good friends.

0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:55.440
<v Speaker 2>You gotta go. I'm I'm optimistic for you. I really am.

0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:58.320
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. The only thing I don't see a lot

0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:01.880
<v Speaker 1>of tall old people, right, Uh?

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:02.680
<v Speaker 2>I guess that's true.

0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, man, I told some way that the pizzeri once

0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:08.480
<v Speaker 1>her kid was like like thirteen or something, and he

0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.080
<v Speaker 1>was like maybe like five five nine or some shit.

0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:12.879
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, yeah, the only thing with that,

0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:14.560
<v Speaker 1>you don't see a lot of tall old people. And

0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 1>she just fucking shipped herself. She was like, oh my god,

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.480
<v Speaker 1>please don't tell me that. Well, what's your name again,

0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Cornelius vandam.

0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:33.320
<v Speaker 3>Building that's not your real name? Right, just snickered Cornelius. Well, Tommy,

0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:36.639
<v Speaker 3>I'll see you around the universe. Man, is he anything

0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:37.880
<v Speaker 3>else you want to say before we go?

0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:43.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Everyone, just keep your head up, don't uh, you know,

0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.880
<v Speaker 1>and get into a swum but the walk on out

0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:50.960
<v Speaker 1>of it ship that never know. I knew I was

0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:53.040
<v Speaker 1>never going to be prepared for something to tell the world.

0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.200
<v Speaker 1>Not keep your head keep on keeping all life's life's

0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.160
<v Speaker 1>the garden, dig Joe dirty.

0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:00.640
<v Speaker 2>Keep your head up. That way you can make contact

0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:01.200
<v Speaker 2>with this guy.

0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.160
<v Speaker 3>That was stupid. All right, we should stop, We should

0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:04.800
<v Speaker 3>get off the phone, all right.

0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:08.639
<v Speaker 1>Love you chat, Love you Lyle, stay prosperous. Goodpi brother,

0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.720
<v Speaker 1>and oh no, I'll try not to do any adderle today.

0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:16.439
<v Speaker 2>Good luck, sir. My prayers are with you.

0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.119
<v Speaker 1>Yep, I'm gonna take a shot at Jamil freet on

0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:21.679
<v Speaker 1>the call, so God bless everyone.

0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:22.760
<v Speaker 2>Take care.

0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:24.160
<v Speaker 1>Just one.

0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 2>Hey, folks, this is Lyle.

0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:30.919
<v Speaker 3>I am very excited to announce that I am going

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:34.800
<v Speaker 3>back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy

0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:38.000
<v Speaker 3>Gecko live all across the country. If you've never been

0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:42.159
<v Speaker 3>to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable,

0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:46.760
<v Speaker 3>wild evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko therapy

0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 3>sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.

0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.439
<v Speaker 3>And if you've been to the show before, I have

0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:58.719
<v Speaker 3>new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.

0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.000
<v Speaker 3>If you're a fan of the pod cast, you're gonna

0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.159
<v Speaker 3>have a great time at the live show, So I

0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:06.360
<v Speaker 3>hope to see you guys there. Go to Therapy geckotour

0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:09.600
<v Speaker 3>dot com or check the link in the episode description

0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:12.920
<v Speaker 3>for a full list of cities where tickets are available. Also,

0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:15.600
<v Speaker 3>if you don't see your city on the list of cities,

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.640
<v Speaker 3>please still click the link and rs VP with your

0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:21.399
<v Speaker 3>phone number so I can contact you when tickets go

0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:24.400
<v Speaker 3>on sale for your city, because I'm going to announce

0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:26.560
<v Speaker 3>a bunch more dates very soon.

0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:31.760
<v Speaker 2>Geck bless call from Madison. Hello, Hello, Hi?

0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:36.560
<v Speaker 5>Who is this Madison? Is this uh the gecko?

0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:38.959
<v Speaker 2>This is the gecko? What's up?

0:20:40.520 --> 0:20:40.600
<v Speaker 3>What?

0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:42.280
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:48.400
<v Speaker 5>Just sitting in bed currently sick? But uh, I thought

0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:50.200
<v Speaker 5>that you were streaming and wanted to try to call.

0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:56.000
<v Speaker 2>So what are you sick with? Uh?

0:20:56.359 --> 0:21:00.399
<v Speaker 5>Just a cold, but it's like one of those really

0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:05.399
<v Speaker 5>like congested type cold. So it's like in my finesses

0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:10.800
<v Speaker 5>and my chest. But uh, it's been a little over

0:21:10.840 --> 0:21:15.879
<v Speaker 5>a week now and it's still kind of not going away.

0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:18.600
<v Speaker 2>How long have the doctors given you to live?

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:25.720
<v Speaker 5>Hopefully a little longer?

0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:34.040
<v Speaker 3>Well, well, Madison, here we are on the phone. Just

0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:36.840
<v Speaker 3>two people on a phone call, two people who don't

0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:40.840
<v Speaker 3>know anything about each other. Really, yeah, just on the

0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:47.120
<v Speaker 3>phone having a conversation being broadcasted to hundreds of millions

0:21:47.160 --> 0:21:50.760
<v Speaker 3>of people all across the globe. Here we are, Madison,

0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:55.360
<v Speaker 3>Here we are, And I ask you humbly humbly from

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:58.640
<v Speaker 3>this my this is this is I feel so honored

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.240
<v Speaker 3>to be on the phone right now, and I have

0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:05.119
<v Speaker 3>to ask you, humbly, Madison.

0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:09.160
<v Speaker 2>What would you like to talk about today?

0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:11.399
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:23.280
<v Speaker 5>Man, that is a very good question. Well, lately, I've

0:22:23.320 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 5>been having some uh I guess not issues, but just

0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:39.600
<v Speaker 5>a little bit of some problems with dealing with being

0:22:39.600 --> 0:22:43.720
<v Speaker 5>in a relation, like a long distance relationship. You know, Okay,

0:22:44.840 --> 0:22:47.720
<v Speaker 5>hit me, Yeah what.

0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:48.960
<v Speaker 2>Was that I said?

0:22:49.040 --> 0:22:55.479
<v Speaker 3>Hit me to share the the crazy details of your life.

0:22:56.000 --> 0:23:00.600
<v Speaker 5>Well, I wouldn't call them too crazy, but uh, you know,

0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:04.280
<v Speaker 5>I've been in this long relationship, long distance relationship for

0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:08.359
<v Speaker 5>about a little over a year now, and uh we

0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:14.439
<v Speaker 5>met on discord and you know, everything has been like

0:23:14.800 --> 0:23:18.400
<v Speaker 5>really really great. It's probably like the best relationship I've

0:23:18.440 --> 0:23:23.800
<v Speaker 5>ever been in. But I kind of have, you know,

0:23:24.720 --> 0:23:28.440
<v Speaker 5>some issues with the fact that we're so far apart,

0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:34.959
<v Speaker 5>and some nights I'm like sitting in bed just like, man,

0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:38.679
<v Speaker 5>what am I? What am I gonna do? Like, I

0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:43.800
<v Speaker 5>can't deal with being alone sometimes and I it's yeah,

0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:47.159
<v Speaker 5>it's pretty hard. So and I don't really have a

0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:48.640
<v Speaker 5>lot of friends who.

0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:52.600
<v Speaker 2>Been in a relationship for.

0:23:55.000 --> 0:23:59.800
<v Speaker 5>Like a year in four months.

0:23:58.920 --> 0:24:00.960
<v Speaker 2>And what where's worse live? Where do you live?

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:06.400
<v Speaker 5>They live in New Jersey and I live in Michigan.

0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:14.080
<v Speaker 3>Okay, what made you want to enter a long distance

0:24:14.160 --> 0:24:17.560
<v Speaker 3>relationship with this person that you met on discord? What

0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:20.320
<v Speaker 3>is it about this relationship that provides you with value

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:23.760
<v Speaker 3>on a continued basis?

0:24:24.000 --> 0:24:28.320
<v Speaker 5>Well, I guess initially I wasn't really like wanting to

0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:31.919
<v Speaker 5>go into a long distance relationship. It just kind of

0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:32.680
<v Speaker 5>like happened.

0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:34.719
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:37.840
<v Speaker 5>We started talking in this one server that one of

0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:41.119
<v Speaker 5>my friends invited me to, and we were just you know,

0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:47.600
<v Speaker 5>talking as friends, and you know, eventually we realized that

0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:52.000
<v Speaker 5>we had feelings for each other, and it just it

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:54.920
<v Speaker 5>was like, I don't know, I had this like feeling

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:59.119
<v Speaker 5>that I couldn't just like not be with them, you know.

0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 5>So yeah, but uh, I they they just have treated

0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:10.679
<v Speaker 5>me better than like anybody I've ever been with, and

0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:16.320
<v Speaker 5>our communication is really good, and we're also like interested

0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:18.919
<v Speaker 5>in a lot of the same things. So it just

0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:19.639
<v Speaker 5>made sense.

0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:24.480
<v Speaker 2>How often do you head over to Jersey to see them?

0:25:25.600 --> 0:25:31.159
<v Speaker 5>Well, I've been there a couple of times and they've

0:25:31.320 --> 0:25:34.879
<v Speaker 5>they've definitely come to see me more. But uh, and

0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:39.320
<v Speaker 5>also like Throughout our relationship, we've definitely seen each other

0:25:39.320 --> 0:25:42.439
<v Speaker 5>in person more than like the average person who's in

0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:45.840
<v Speaker 5>a long distance relationship does, which I'm like, you know,

0:25:45.960 --> 0:25:49.359
<v Speaker 5>obviously really grateful for because a lot of people don't

0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:53.639
<v Speaker 5>get that chance to like see them or their significant

0:25:53.680 --> 0:25:59.920
<v Speaker 5>others like for years or months, you know. But it's

0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:04.400
<v Speaker 5>still just like so hard for me to like let

0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:06.359
<v Speaker 5>go of the fact that I can't see them like

0:26:06.440 --> 0:26:07.640
<v Speaker 5>every day.

0:26:08.000 --> 0:26:12.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh well, is anything stopping you from you know, It's

0:26:13.040 --> 0:26:16.120
<v Speaker 3>very funny. I'm thinking about this a lot lately because

0:26:16.440 --> 0:26:24.000
<v Speaker 3>I part of me was hesitant on the idea of,

0:26:24.160 --> 0:26:27.240
<v Speaker 3>like is it a good idea to move to be

0:26:27.440 --> 0:26:31.080
<v Speaker 3>with someone romantically, because I mean, you know, there's all

0:26:31.119 --> 0:26:34.320
<v Speaker 3>sorts of like horror stories about people doing that, fucking

0:26:34.320 --> 0:26:38.439
<v Speaker 3>them up. There's also actually a lot of stories, you know,

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:40.600
<v Speaker 3>I've heard them on the podcast, I've heard them anecdotally

0:26:40.640 --> 0:26:44.480
<v Speaker 3>about people who do that and the relationship doesn't work out,

0:26:44.800 --> 0:26:47.920
<v Speaker 3>but yet the move works out, you know what I mean.

0:26:48.040 --> 0:26:51.360
<v Speaker 3>Like someone maybe like moves to you know, some city

0:26:51.800 --> 0:26:54.040
<v Speaker 3>to be with somebody, and that relationship doesn't work out,

0:26:54.040 --> 0:26:57.560
<v Speaker 3>but then some other thing happens in that city, and

0:26:57.720 --> 0:26:59.720
<v Speaker 3>and that kind of works out.

0:27:01.280 --> 0:27:03.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not a huge fan of like.

0:27:03.800 --> 0:27:07.760
<v Speaker 3>Let me give up career opportunities to go be with

0:27:07.840 --> 0:27:12.080
<v Speaker 3>a person, And sometimes that's kind of baked in to

0:27:13.160 --> 0:27:17.280
<v Speaker 3>like moving locations, but a lot of the time it's not, because,

0:27:17.560 --> 0:27:21.280
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you know, we live in a digital universe.

0:27:21.320 --> 0:27:24.320
<v Speaker 3>People are working from home, people are building their their

0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:28.200
<v Speaker 3>careers on the internet. So I mean, what's what's going

0:27:28.280 --> 0:27:31.840
<v Speaker 3>on in Michigan and what's stopping you guys from you know,

0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:32.960
<v Speaker 3>being in the same location.

0:27:34.560 --> 0:27:38.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah. So, actually it's funny that you mentioned the whole

0:27:38.480 --> 0:27:43.439
<v Speaker 5>like working from home thing because my partner actually was

0:27:43.840 --> 0:27:46.320
<v Speaker 5>like trying to do that and was doing that for

0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:49.040
<v Speaker 5>a little bit when we first met. They have a

0:27:49.080 --> 0:27:54.439
<v Speaker 5>degree in like computer engineering, and they were working with

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:58.600
<v Speaker 5>this company or like probably a little less than a year,

0:27:58.640 --> 0:28:01.560
<v Speaker 5>but it was like a startup saying I don't really

0:28:01.560 --> 0:28:05.600
<v Speaker 5>know a lot about computer engineering, so like, but like

0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:09.560
<v Speaker 5>basically they weren't really like getting paid yet because it

0:28:09.600 --> 0:28:13.240
<v Speaker 5>was a startup, I guess, and the boss was like

0:28:13.520 --> 0:28:17.760
<v Speaker 5>supposed to basically pay them like after working for so long,

0:28:17.800 --> 0:28:21.000
<v Speaker 5>and then they just like kept postponing it, and eventually

0:28:21.040 --> 0:28:23.920
<v Speaker 5>my partner was like, okay, like I don't really want

0:28:23.920 --> 0:28:26.480
<v Speaker 5>to like be working under this guy anymore because he

0:28:27.119 --> 0:28:29.600
<v Speaker 5>keeps like not going through with his word.

0:28:30.720 --> 0:28:33.520
<v Speaker 2>So they're thinking about quitting their job.

0:28:34.760 --> 0:28:38.040
<v Speaker 5>Well they they did, they did that company.

0:28:37.600 --> 0:28:47.240
<v Speaker 2>So uh nothing, nothing Michigan. What are they doing?

0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 5>That's yeah, that's what I'm saying. But like it's there's

0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 5>a lot of like things though, where they just don't

0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:58.440
<v Speaker 5>have the money obviously because of the fact that they haven't.

0:28:58.240 --> 0:29:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Been working, they don't have them wanted to live in Michigan,

0:29:04.240 --> 0:29:04.840
<v Speaker 2>I guess not.

0:29:05.280 --> 0:29:08.120
<v Speaker 5>I mean, but it's also they've been trying to find

0:29:08.200 --> 0:29:11.240
<v Speaker 5>jobs here and they like can't find any jobs here

0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:15.920
<v Speaker 5>that will like respond back to them.

0:29:16.360 --> 0:29:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Do you do you want to move to New Jersey?

0:29:22.480 --> 0:29:25.800
<v Speaker 5>I don't know. I've thought about it, but like, excuse me,

0:29:27.840 --> 0:29:31.320
<v Speaker 5>it's I have a lot of stuff where I'm at

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:35.560
<v Speaker 5>right now, like family, and I have a cat that

0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:42.080
<v Speaker 5>would be having to be moved as well. So it's

0:29:42.200 --> 0:29:44.280
<v Speaker 5>and I also have a job where I'm at right

0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:44.880
<v Speaker 5>now as well.

0:29:44.960 --> 0:29:54.160
<v Speaker 3>So okay, so so this guy, this guy has a job.

0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:57.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh he doesn't have a job. What's he doing?

0:29:59.240 --> 0:29:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Uh?

0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:04.280
<v Speaker 5>So I actually right now they are basically like trying

0:30:04.400 --> 0:30:07.400
<v Speaker 5>to find the place. But they're also they were making

0:30:07.440 --> 0:30:10.000
<v Speaker 5>like YouTube videos for a little bit. A couple of

0:30:10.040 --> 0:30:13.640
<v Speaker 5>months ago. They started a YouTube channel because they play

0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:15.320
<v Speaker 5>a lot of like magic the Gathering.

0:30:15.520 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 3>So okay, hold on, it's just just I want to

0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:21.719
<v Speaker 3>just like it ad be practical here for a few times,

0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:26.120
<v Speaker 3>because because I don't know, I I'm and look, my

0:30:26.200 --> 0:30:29.480
<v Speaker 3>life isn't perfect in any sense of the way. But

0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:31.160
<v Speaker 3>if I'm talking to you, I want to just like,

0:30:31.560 --> 0:30:34.120
<v Speaker 3>let's not fuck around here, you know, because you can

0:30:34.200 --> 0:30:36.400
<v Speaker 3>just we can waste we can waste a lot of

0:30:36.480 --> 0:30:41.760
<v Speaker 3>time fucking around. And I know that personally because you know,

0:30:41.800 --> 0:30:43.560
<v Speaker 3>I mean, every human being is wasted a lot of

0:30:43.560 --> 0:30:47.040
<v Speaker 3>time just fucking around, you know. So let's not fuck

0:30:47.080 --> 0:30:49.200
<v Speaker 3>around for a second. So you're in this long term

0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:53.720
<v Speaker 3>relationship and you like it, it's good, but just there

0:30:53.840 --> 0:30:56.959
<v Speaker 3>this big I mean, these long distance relationships, they can

0:30:57.000 --> 0:31:01.000
<v Speaker 3>really make you unhappy, you know, because you wanted somebody

0:31:01.000 --> 0:31:02.800
<v Speaker 3>who's who's there, right?

0:31:03.480 --> 0:31:03.680
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:31:04.320 --> 0:31:07.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and you have your job, and you have your family,

0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:10.800
<v Speaker 3>and you have your cat, you know, and you don't

0:31:10.800 --> 0:31:13.959
<v Speaker 3>really want to give those things up. I don't know

0:31:14.000 --> 0:31:17.240
<v Speaker 3>what your partner has going on from what you're telling

0:31:17.280 --> 0:31:20.600
<v Speaker 3>me it's nothing, But I don't know. I haven't talked

0:31:20.600 --> 0:31:26.880
<v Speaker 3>to them about it, But has has there been any

0:31:27.720 --> 0:31:33.720
<v Speaker 3>like like attempt to compromise and figure something out or

0:31:33.760 --> 0:31:36.320
<v Speaker 3>is it just like, uh, like what's what are we

0:31:36.400 --> 0:31:37.440
<v Speaker 3>figuring out here?

0:31:38.120 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:42.120
<v Speaker 5>So we've we've definitely talked about it a lot, and

0:31:42.840 --> 0:31:45.120
<v Speaker 5>I guess there this is the thing I haven't really

0:31:45.200 --> 0:31:49.440
<v Speaker 5>like mentioned. Their whole thing is that they don't want

0:31:49.800 --> 0:31:53.320
<v Speaker 5>to be like relying on me, if that makes sense,

0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.800
<v Speaker 5>Like they want to have their shit together before they

0:31:55.920 --> 0:32:01.960
<v Speaker 5>like come into my life physically, so like they want

0:32:02.000 --> 0:32:04.880
<v Speaker 5>to have like an established job and have enough money

0:32:05.640 --> 0:32:08.600
<v Speaker 5>coming here. Because their plan was that they were going

0:32:08.680 --> 0:32:11.400
<v Speaker 5>to move here because of the fact that I said, like,

0:32:11.520 --> 0:32:13.240
<v Speaker 5>you know, I have family here, I have a cat,

0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:16.520
<v Speaker 5>I have a job, so it would be better for

0:32:16.600 --> 0:32:20.920
<v Speaker 5>them to move here. And right now they just don't

0:32:20.960 --> 0:32:26.000
<v Speaker 5>think that they have the funds or you know, the

0:32:26.040 --> 0:32:29.160
<v Speaker 5>ability to find a good paying job at the moment

0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:34.400
<v Speaker 5>moving here until at least like next year. But it's

0:32:34.440 --> 0:32:38.600
<v Speaker 5>like it's just kind of such a long ways away,

0:32:38.880 --> 0:32:41.160
<v Speaker 5>Like I mean, it's not, but it is, you know.

0:32:41.480 --> 0:32:50.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I still don't I still don't understand this person have.

0:32:50.760 --> 0:32:55.200
<v Speaker 3>Like, like, they are paying money to live in New Jersey. Correct,

0:32:55.320 --> 0:32:57.680
<v Speaker 3>they're paying rents to live in New Jersey.

0:32:57.960 --> 0:32:59.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're They're paying for food.

0:32:59.680 --> 0:33:02.200
<v Speaker 3>And tricity and the various things that you need to live.

0:33:02.480 --> 0:33:04.200
<v Speaker 3>And just that does the budget that they have to

0:33:04.200 --> 0:33:06.800
<v Speaker 3>pay for those things currently not allowed for them to

0:33:06.800 --> 0:33:10.840
<v Speaker 3>pay for those things in Michigan as well well.

0:33:11.040 --> 0:33:13.600
<v Speaker 5>So their parents have been helping them money.

0:33:14.360 --> 0:33:18.320
<v Speaker 3>And Okay, I I understand, I I I understand now

0:33:18.360 --> 0:33:21.440
<v Speaker 3>what what this person is talking about when they're like, listen,

0:33:21.560 --> 0:33:22.120
<v Speaker 3>my life.

0:33:22.040 --> 0:33:24.760
<v Speaker 2>Is my I I get it. I think I think

0:33:24.800 --> 0:33:25.400
<v Speaker 2>I understand.

0:33:25.440 --> 0:33:28.640
<v Speaker 3>I think I think this person is like, Okay, look,

0:33:28.720 --> 0:33:31.520
<v Speaker 3>my parents are helping me live. I don't have a job.

0:33:31.720 --> 0:33:35.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I'm kind of fucking around. You have a life,

0:33:35.320 --> 0:33:36.880
<v Speaker 3>you have a thing. I don't want to like leech

0:33:36.960 --> 0:33:40.240
<v Speaker 3>off of you. So let me like figure my shit out.

0:33:40.600 --> 0:33:43.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, and then we'll we'll see.

0:33:43.320 --> 0:33:44.120
<v Speaker 2>But here's the question.

0:33:44.280 --> 0:33:47.320
<v Speaker 3>Have do they have a and I I ask you this,

0:33:48.960 --> 0:33:53.320
<v Speaker 3>do you believe that they have a a legitimate timeline

0:33:53.400 --> 0:33:56.400
<v Speaker 3>as to when they're going to quote figure their shit out?

0:33:57.080 --> 0:34:02.240
<v Speaker 3>A definition even of what figuring your shit out means and.

0:34:01.880 --> 0:34:04.480
<v Speaker 2>And see, do you do you believe.

0:34:04.720 --> 0:34:06.680
<v Speaker 3>Them, knowing what you know about them, that they will

0:34:06.720 --> 0:34:13.360
<v Speaker 3>be able to achieve this this you know, forever elusive

0:34:13.880 --> 0:34:16.520
<v Speaker 3>idea of getting their ship together.

0:34:18.840 --> 0:34:23.640
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I like, I know that they're like reliable

0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:27.400
<v Speaker 5>and that they're smart, and their reasonings for not moving

0:34:27.440 --> 0:34:32.600
<v Speaker 5>here are understandable and it's not just like some excuse.

0:34:34.560 --> 0:34:34.920
<v Speaker 1>But like.

0:34:36.640 --> 0:34:38.560
<v Speaker 5>Also another thing too is.

0:34:38.560 --> 0:34:40.239
<v Speaker 3>Well hold on, but we haven't even do we haven't

0:34:40.239 --> 0:34:45.239
<v Speaker 3>even covered this thing before we introduce another thing. And

0:34:45.280 --> 0:34:49.120
<v Speaker 3>then also like yes, understandable that we're not we're not

0:34:49.160 --> 0:34:50.880
<v Speaker 3>trying to figure out if it's understandable or not.

0:34:50.960 --> 0:34:51.640
<v Speaker 2>We've understood.

0:34:52.360 --> 0:34:56.279
<v Speaker 3>The question is, you know, can we rely that this

0:34:57.040 --> 0:35:00.719
<v Speaker 3>will be a problem that is addressed and fixed so

0:35:00.760 --> 0:35:05.560
<v Speaker 3>that we're not you know, continually delaying our future.

0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:07.080
<v Speaker 2>For this person.

0:35:07.880 --> 0:35:10.960
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I mean I don't think it'll take more than

0:35:11.000 --> 0:35:17.000
<v Speaker 5>a year. So but like as it is right now,

0:35:17.920 --> 0:35:23.000
<v Speaker 5>it's hard to say like exactly how long it will

0:35:23.040 --> 0:35:25.719
<v Speaker 5>take because of where they're at at the moment, like

0:35:26.680 --> 0:35:29.880
<v Speaker 5>where because I mean they they're trying, you know to

0:35:30.160 --> 0:35:34.040
<v Speaker 5>find jobs here, like they've applied to like so many places,

0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:38.600
<v Speaker 5>and they just like don't get calls back, and they

0:35:38.640 --> 0:35:42.799
<v Speaker 5>actually had a job reach out to them recently and

0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:46.200
<v Speaker 5>they like did some tests that they wanted them to

0:35:46.239 --> 0:35:48.640
<v Speaker 5>take and then they just like ended up failing the

0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:51.719
<v Speaker 5>test and that people were like yeah, or like you can't.

0:35:51.960 --> 0:35:56.359
<v Speaker 2>Let's let's go, let's go. We're getting too specific here, Okay,

0:35:56.440 --> 0:36:00.320
<v Speaker 2>let's go. Let's go. Top line. Okay, this guy is

0:36:01.040 --> 0:36:03.640
<v Speaker 2>doing what he's applying to jobs. He's do you.

0:36:05.040 --> 0:36:06.640
<v Speaker 3>And these are I don't have answers to these. I'm

0:36:06.640 --> 0:36:08.360
<v Speaker 3>not gonna tell you what to do, but you should

0:36:08.360 --> 0:36:15.640
<v Speaker 3>think about, like, you know, do you do you want

0:36:15.719 --> 0:36:19.200
<v Speaker 3>to be waiting around for this? And if the answer

0:36:19.239 --> 0:36:21.680
<v Speaker 3>is yes, then that's beautiful. Then wait around for it

0:36:22.120 --> 0:36:24.120
<v Speaker 3>because you know it's gonna be worth it because you

0:36:24.280 --> 0:36:27.200
<v Speaker 3>really really really like this person and you know it's

0:36:27.200 --> 0:36:30.000
<v Speaker 3>gonna be yeah, even know not even no, you can't

0:36:30.000 --> 0:36:33.560
<v Speaker 3>know shit, but you have a pretty good idea that

0:36:33.600 --> 0:36:34.520
<v Speaker 3>this is gonna be.

0:36:34.680 --> 0:36:38.080
<v Speaker 5>How old are you, by the way, I just turned

0:36:38.200 --> 0:36:39.360
<v Speaker 5>twenty three this month?

0:36:39.920 --> 0:36:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay? How old is this guy?

0:36:42.360 --> 0:36:43.000
<v Speaker 5>Twenty five?

0:36:43.960 --> 0:36:44.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

0:36:44.320 --> 0:36:50.880
<v Speaker 3>Are you guys still fucking young? Yeah?

0:36:51.280 --> 0:36:51.799
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:56.480
<v Speaker 3>Look here here's what I would say. And by the way,

0:36:56.520 --> 0:36:59.399
<v Speaker 3>I'm a total hypocrite. I really, I've really been thinking

0:36:59.400 --> 0:37:00.920
<v Speaker 3>about this a lot, with this fucking potty.

0:37:01.160 --> 0:37:02.080
<v Speaker 2>This podcast is.

0:37:02.000 --> 0:37:04.320
<v Speaker 3>Getting more and more difficult for me to do because

0:37:04.480 --> 0:37:08.160
<v Speaker 3>my life is really not figure it out myself, and

0:37:08.320 --> 0:37:10.680
<v Speaker 3>so I don't like to but but and it's but

0:37:10.719 --> 0:37:13.919
<v Speaker 3>it's it's so much easier to therapy getto other people

0:37:13.920 --> 0:37:15.480
<v Speaker 3>than it is to therapy gecko yourself.

0:37:15.640 --> 0:37:17.520
<v Speaker 2>But I'll just let's just do it.

0:37:20.239 --> 0:37:26.920
<v Speaker 3>You know, if I were you, just from talking to you, like,

0:37:29.080 --> 0:37:34.440
<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't stop wasting my time like waiting, cold feet,

0:37:34.600 --> 0:37:37.879
<v Speaker 3>fucking around, whatever, whatever, and like like kind of make

0:37:37.920 --> 0:37:41.520
<v Speaker 3>a decision. And I'm not talking about like a foreverone.

0:37:41.680 --> 0:37:45.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm talking about like and you could even even if

0:37:45.360 --> 0:37:49.360
<v Speaker 3>like waiting, even if you decide to wait, that is

0:37:49.400 --> 0:37:55.080
<v Speaker 3>a decision, you know, So so figure it out so

0:37:55.120 --> 0:37:57.040
<v Speaker 3>that way you're not just like, you know, will he

0:37:57.120 --> 0:38:00.480
<v Speaker 3>won't he you know, forever because this is gonna make

0:38:00.520 --> 0:38:03.560
<v Speaker 3>you unhappy, you know. And you could even do a

0:38:03.600 --> 0:38:05.560
<v Speaker 3>thing where it's like maybe we go on a break

0:38:05.600 --> 0:38:10.640
<v Speaker 3>and when you're ready, come at me, and if I'm ready,

0:38:10.680 --> 0:38:11.359
<v Speaker 3>then it works out.

0:38:11.400 --> 0:38:13.160
<v Speaker 2>And if it doesn't work out, it's fine.

0:38:13.239 --> 0:38:18.040
<v Speaker 3>But you're also so fucking you know, we're all young,

0:38:18.400 --> 0:38:22.920
<v Speaker 3>we're in our twenties. You knows, what's the big rush

0:38:22.960 --> 0:38:24.399
<v Speaker 3>to go crazy? I mean, if you want, you can

0:38:24.440 --> 0:38:27.120
<v Speaker 3>move to Michigan. I mean, move to New Jersey. They

0:38:27.160 --> 0:38:28.600
<v Speaker 3>have pinball machines there.

0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:30.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know.

0:38:30.120 --> 0:38:32.279
<v Speaker 3>I hope any of what I said just made any

0:38:32.480 --> 0:38:35.120
<v Speaker 3>sense at all. I really do, I really after I

0:38:35.200 --> 0:38:36.520
<v Speaker 3>really just now was like, I don't know if I

0:38:36.560 --> 0:38:39.000
<v Speaker 3>made any sense, but but just.

0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:42.719
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, because a lot of these, like so many I

0:38:43.120 --> 0:38:45.320
<v Speaker 6>think this is just with like issues in general.

0:38:45.360 --> 0:38:47.160
<v Speaker 3>It's like, you know, you're sitting here, you're talking to me,

0:38:47.200 --> 0:38:49.040
<v Speaker 3>and you're like, well, there's this other thing and this

0:38:49.080 --> 0:38:50.719
<v Speaker 3>other thing is the other thing, and.

0:38:50.880 --> 0:38:52.400
<v Speaker 2>The details don't matter.

0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:57.000
<v Speaker 3>It's like the top line of like do you want

0:38:57.840 --> 0:39:04.840
<v Speaker 3>to sacrifice certain things from yourself, your time, your energy

0:39:05.040 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 3>for this person? That's the top all the little like

0:39:08.600 --> 0:39:10.399
<v Speaker 3>well here's this detail, and here's this detail, and he's

0:39:10.400 --> 0:39:12.319
<v Speaker 3>applying for jobs and this, and they all that none

0:39:12.320 --> 0:39:16.600
<v Speaker 3>of that matters. That there's only really that one question

0:39:16.719 --> 0:39:18.720
<v Speaker 3>that matters is how much of your time and energy

0:39:18.920 --> 0:39:23.680
<v Speaker 3>do you want to sacrifice for this person? And there's

0:39:23.680 --> 0:39:26.000
<v Speaker 3>no wrong answer to that question. And by the way,

0:39:26.040 --> 0:39:29.440
<v Speaker 3>even if you decide, you know what I do, and

0:39:29.480 --> 0:39:31.600
<v Speaker 3>then two years goes by and it turns out that

0:39:31.600 --> 0:39:34.239
<v Speaker 3>that was the wrong decision, It's okay. You're not gonna die,

0:39:34.920 --> 0:39:38.719
<v Speaker 3>You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be twenty five, and

0:39:38.760 --> 0:39:40.680
<v Speaker 3>you have much more life ahead of you to live.

0:39:40.760 --> 0:39:41.960
<v Speaker 2>Like you know, you don't.

0:39:42.719 --> 0:39:47.360
<v Speaker 3>Don't freak out about making that right decision, but understand

0:39:47.360 --> 0:39:49.120
<v Speaker 3>that that's the decision that you're making.

0:39:49.640 --> 0:39:50.520
<v Speaker 2>Does that make sense?

0:39:51.920 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, I mean okay, at the end of the day,

0:39:55.080 --> 0:39:59.640
<v Speaker 5>it's it's just whether or not I can be sorry,

0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:04.799
<v Speaker 5>be comferable alone for however long until they can move here,

0:40:05.360 --> 0:40:09.879
<v Speaker 5>you know, or if I should just drop everything and

0:40:09.920 --> 0:40:11.200
<v Speaker 5>like move to them.

0:40:11.719 --> 0:40:16.279
<v Speaker 2>But if you want to do that, then you do that.

0:40:16.320 --> 0:40:20.200
<v Speaker 3>It's not gonna you're not gonna die, You're not gonna

0:40:20.200 --> 0:40:26.200
<v Speaker 3>throw away you know, your one opportunity to you know,

0:40:27.000 --> 0:40:29.480
<v Speaker 3>live a happy life. I mean, I just that's the

0:40:29.520 --> 0:40:31.640
<v Speaker 3>thing is I would just pick something, because if you don't,

0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:35.840
<v Speaker 3>you're gonna just live in in in this weird limbo state.

0:40:36.719 --> 0:40:38.880
<v Speaker 3>But anyway, that's that's really I think what I have

0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:39.759
<v Speaker 3>to say about this.

0:40:40.960 --> 0:40:46.680
<v Speaker 2>What's your name again, Madison? Madison? This was this. I'm

0:40:46.680 --> 0:40:48.880
<v Speaker 2>glad we've got to talk about this. This was helpful.

0:40:49.440 --> 0:40:53.200
<v Speaker 2>I enjoy thinking about these things, enjoy thinking about life.

0:40:53.239 --> 0:40:54.959
<v Speaker 2>It's very difficult. It's really hard.

0:40:55.000 --> 0:40:56.960
<v Speaker 3>I know I'm making it sound like it's like easy,

0:40:57.040 --> 0:40:59.719
<v Speaker 3>I guess, but it's not. It's really hard because you're

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:02.319
<v Speaker 3>you're dealing with I'm talking the way I'm talking about this.

0:41:02.400 --> 0:41:05.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm not emotionally connected to it, so it's easier for

0:41:05.400 --> 0:41:07.960
<v Speaker 3>me to you know, say all these things.

0:41:09.280 --> 0:41:11.680
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I hope it was helpful in any way.

0:41:13.080 --> 0:41:15.920
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I just want to say thanks for like hearing

0:41:16.000 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 5>me out and giving your input of it and everything.

0:41:19.920 --> 0:41:23.799
<v Speaker 5>And you know, I love them a lot. So at

0:41:23.800 --> 0:41:26.279
<v Speaker 5>the end of the day, like I'll have to just

0:41:26.840 --> 0:41:31.840
<v Speaker 5>suck it up and you know, be okay with waiting

0:41:31.960 --> 0:41:36.640
<v Speaker 5>because that's what I mean, that's the easiest decision to make,

0:41:36.760 --> 0:41:39.960
<v Speaker 5>because it's either that or try to like get all

0:41:40.000 --> 0:41:41.880
<v Speaker 5>my shit over there. And that's.

0:41:43.560 --> 0:41:45.200
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, cool, cool.

0:41:45.160 --> 0:41:47.440
<v Speaker 3>Just before we go, if that's your decision, just like

0:41:47.520 --> 0:41:50.920
<v Speaker 3>be just try to be happy with your decision, you know,

0:41:51.040 --> 0:41:53.799
<v Speaker 3>because it's something it's not nobody forced this upon you.

0:41:53.880 --> 0:41:56.640
<v Speaker 2>This is like your decision that you're making and you

0:41:56.680 --> 0:41:58.120
<v Speaker 2>should be that should make.

0:41:58.080 --> 0:42:01.160
<v Speaker 3>You feel happy and powerful and your life.

0:42:02.200 --> 0:42:03.239
<v Speaker 5>Thank you for that.

0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:05.200
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything else you want to say to the

0:42:05.200 --> 0:42:06.440
<v Speaker 2>people of the computer before we go?

0:42:07.800 --> 0:42:07.960
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:42:08.680 --> 0:42:11.520
<v Speaker 5>Okay, I've always thought about what I was gonna say

0:42:12.480 --> 0:42:18.520
<v Speaker 5>when you asked this. Uh, I guess don't ever just

0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:23.719
<v Speaker 5>settle for what your you know, life is, or who

0:42:23.760 --> 0:42:29.560
<v Speaker 5>you're with, because you deserve better and you deserve the best,

0:42:29.680 --> 0:42:33.080
<v Speaker 5>and there are those people out there who really care

0:42:33.120 --> 0:42:36.799
<v Speaker 5>about you and love you for who you are. And yeah,

0:42:37.080 --> 0:42:41.520
<v Speaker 5>just see yourself and love yourself.

0:42:45.160 --> 0:42:45.440
<v Speaker 1>That's what.

0:42:47.480 --> 0:42:48.680
<v Speaker 2>I was trying to think of. Something.

0:42:50.040 --> 0:42:52.120
<v Speaker 3>I don't know why when people start saying a lot

0:42:52.160 --> 0:42:54.640
<v Speaker 3>of really positive things on the podcast, Like in my brain,

0:42:54.680 --> 0:42:56.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, what horrible thing.

0:42:56.800 --> 0:42:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Can I say to offset this so that I don't

0:42:59.080 --> 0:43:02.600
<v Speaker 2>feel like it's the mister Rogers show? But nothing in

0:43:02.640 --> 0:43:03.840
<v Speaker 2>my brain? Yeah, it was nothing.

0:43:03.840 --> 0:43:05.400
<v Speaker 3>Nothing that I said was I like, you know what,

0:43:05.440 --> 0:43:07.960
<v Speaker 3>that's something I should say anyway, I'm I don't know

0:43:07.960 --> 0:43:09.439
<v Speaker 3>why I said yes, go ahead?

0:43:09.480 --> 0:43:09.760
<v Speaker 1>Sorry?

0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:12.360
<v Speaker 5>Sorry, also get money?

0:43:12.520 --> 0:43:13.000
<v Speaker 2>There we go?

0:43:13.120 --> 0:43:15.040
<v Speaker 3>Okay, Well, thank you very much, have a good rest

0:43:15.080 --> 0:43:25.440
<v Speaker 3>of the day, you too, But uh, hey.

0:43:25.239 --> 0:43:27.480
<v Speaker 2>What's up? Yeah, who's this?

0:43:29.640 --> 0:43:30.479
<v Speaker 4>You can call me Kate?

0:43:31.320 --> 0:43:32.239
<v Speaker 2>Kate? What's up?

0:43:32.320 --> 0:43:32.560
<v Speaker 1>Kate?

0:43:32.640 --> 0:43:33.240
<v Speaker 2>How's life?

0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:39.120
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, like not that kind of amazed my first time

0:43:39.280 --> 0:43:43.239
<v Speaker 4>trying to call in Truly, I'm super nervous right now.

0:43:43.280 --> 0:43:44.239
<v Speaker 4>Cannot believe you called me.

0:43:44.480 --> 0:43:46.760
<v Speaker 2>Really, don't be, don't be, don't be nervous.

0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:50.400
<v Speaker 3>Don't be nervous. There's it's just uh, you and me

0:43:50.600 --> 0:43:54.440
<v Speaker 3>and a bunch of people who are probably folding laundry

0:43:54.520 --> 0:43:55.520
<v Speaker 3>or driving.

0:43:55.120 --> 0:43:56.040
<v Speaker 2>A car, or.

0:43:57.920 --> 0:43:58.880
<v Speaker 4>People cooking dinner.

0:43:59.040 --> 0:44:00.959
<v Speaker 7>That's what I'm doing right now, something like that.

0:44:01.440 --> 0:44:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, what's up, Kate? How can I get you today?

0:44:05.320 --> 0:44:05.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:44:05.719 --> 0:44:08.120
<v Speaker 4>I just thought i'd call and I would love to

0:44:08.160 --> 0:44:11.520
<v Speaker 4>talk to you a bit about some personal I don't know,

0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:15.640
<v Speaker 4>like realizations I've been having the past couple of months.

0:44:16.120 --> 0:44:16.840
<v Speaker 2>Sure, what are that?

0:44:18.160 --> 0:44:18.239
<v Speaker 1>So?

0:44:18.560 --> 0:44:21.200
<v Speaker 4>As I wrote in my message to you, I've recently

0:44:21.320 --> 0:44:25.879
<v Speaker 4>realized that I am a meticulous control freak. I need

0:44:26.000 --> 0:44:29.080
<v Speaker 4>control of every aspect of my life. And this is

0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:32.799
<v Speaker 4>something I'm talking to a real therapist about. But I

0:44:32.920 --> 0:44:35.160
<v Speaker 4>find I'm a verbal process, so it's helpful for me

0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:39.360
<v Speaker 4>to talk to like other people. I really appreciate you

0:44:39.440 --> 0:44:43.440
<v Speaker 4>talking to me it's actually means a lot. But like

0:44:43.600 --> 0:44:47.280
<v Speaker 4>I've been in my relationship for six and a half years.

0:44:47.719 --> 0:44:51.120
<v Speaker 4>We got married this past summer. That's super exciting both

0:44:51.120 --> 0:44:53.480
<v Speaker 4>me and my husband are coming to your your Seattle show.

0:44:53.520 --> 0:44:57.640
<v Speaker 4>We can't wait, Like genuinely cannot wait. I was listening

0:44:57.680 --> 0:45:00.120
<v Speaker 4>to one of your podcasts and I heard you and

0:45:00.239 --> 0:45:02.319
<v Speaker 4>say that you were like coming to Seattle, and I

0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:03.680
<v Speaker 4>like immediately.

0:45:03.160 --> 0:45:09.440
<v Speaker 2>Got on like dull shout out the crocodile, love the crocodile.

0:45:09.560 --> 0:45:10.879
<v Speaker 5>Yes, guys, be there.

0:45:10.920 --> 0:45:14.239
<v Speaker 4>I'm so freaking excited to your show. So my point

0:45:14.239 --> 0:45:18.400
<v Speaker 4>here though, is that like we we've been we've been

0:45:18.440 --> 0:45:20.960
<v Speaker 4>together a long time, and he's like when we resot

0:45:21.040 --> 0:45:23.160
<v Speaker 4>arguments a lot of times, he'll tell me that he

0:45:23.239 --> 0:45:24.919
<v Speaker 4>feels like I'm suffocating.

0:45:24.400 --> 0:45:26.080
<v Speaker 7>Him, and I'm over here, I'm like, I have no

0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:28.400
<v Speaker 7>idea what you're talking about, dude, Like stuffocation, what does

0:45:28.400 --> 0:45:30.239
<v Speaker 7>that even mean? Like, I'm just trying to help you.

0:45:30.960 --> 0:45:33.680
<v Speaker 4>I'm a teacher, Like that's my job, and so I

0:45:33.920 --> 0:45:35.200
<v Speaker 4>like that's what I do for a living, right, I

0:45:35.239 --> 0:45:38.319
<v Speaker 4>help people, And so in my head like everything makes

0:45:38.360 --> 0:45:42.000
<v Speaker 4>perfect sense, right, Like, oh, I'm just helping you do

0:45:42.120 --> 0:45:43.880
<v Speaker 4>whatever it is. That like, I think it's going to

0:45:43.960 --> 0:45:45.680
<v Speaker 4>be best for you because that's what I do with

0:45:45.680 --> 0:45:46.640
<v Speaker 4>my kids every single day.

0:45:46.640 --> 0:45:48.800
<v Speaker 7>And I found that I'm kind of doing that exact

0:45:48.800 --> 0:45:52.879
<v Speaker 7>same thing to my now husband, okay, And that set

0:45:52.920 --> 0:45:55.759
<v Speaker 7>up kind of like this chain of realizations of like, oh, like, man,

0:45:55.840 --> 0:45:57.600
<v Speaker 7>where do I do that in other areas of my life?

0:45:57.640 --> 0:46:00.479
<v Speaker 7>And then you know, I've had eating disorders the past.

0:46:00.520 --> 0:46:02.319
<v Speaker 7>I'm working like working through that right now, and I

0:46:02.360 --> 0:46:04.759
<v Speaker 7>was like, oh, maybe that's connected. And I've gone to

0:46:04.800 --> 0:46:07.040
<v Speaker 7>counseling so like perfectionism in the past.

0:46:06.800 --> 0:46:09.160
<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, wait a second, he needs that's connected.

0:46:09.520 --> 0:46:11.120
<v Speaker 7>And then suddenly it kind of starts to see this

0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:13.719
<v Speaker 7>like web right of like all these different places in

0:46:13.760 --> 0:46:16.880
<v Speaker 7>your life where you need to have perfect control. And

0:46:17.040 --> 0:46:18.759
<v Speaker 7>I guess why I wanted to talk to you is

0:46:18.800 --> 0:46:20.560
<v Speaker 7>because like I don't know how to like let.

0:46:20.400 --> 0:46:23.000
<v Speaker 4>Go of that need for control. Like I'm working with

0:46:23.040 --> 0:46:25.040
<v Speaker 4>a therapist on it, and I still don't know how

0:46:25.080 --> 0:46:28.760
<v Speaker 4>to like, hey, I don't need to know every aspect

0:46:28.840 --> 0:46:31.080
<v Speaker 4>of every single thing. Like I hate surprises. I can't

0:46:31.080 --> 0:46:34.360
<v Speaker 4>deal with them. I can't I can't like not know

0:46:34.680 --> 0:46:37.319
<v Speaker 4>something like how how does an avid.

0:46:37.040 --> 0:46:39.840
<v Speaker 7>Person does not need to control free situations they're in.

0:46:39.920 --> 0:46:40.560
<v Speaker 5>I don't get that.

0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:41.760
<v Speaker 4>That's what I want to talk to you about.

0:46:41.920 --> 0:46:44.759
<v Speaker 3>So when when when your husband said you were suffocating him,

0:46:44.800 --> 0:46:49.719
<v Speaker 3>Like what what was there? What specifically was going on?

0:46:50.680 --> 0:46:55.080
<v Speaker 4>That's a good question. So he he has ADHD, and so,

0:46:55.239 --> 0:46:59.160
<v Speaker 4>like you know, he sometimes has like problems completing tasks

0:46:59.280 --> 0:47:02.000
<v Speaker 4>or like you know, just like an example, like hey,

0:47:02.000 --> 0:47:03.719
<v Speaker 4>you got to go to the doctor, right, but then

0:47:03.719 --> 0:47:05.920
<v Speaker 4>it's like, oh, you got to make the doctor's appointment.

0:47:06.000 --> 0:47:07.680
<v Speaker 4>He's got to do all these other things. And I'm like, well,

0:47:07.719 --> 0:47:09.759
<v Speaker 4>you know, it just like just makes it make the

0:47:09.760 --> 0:47:12.520
<v Speaker 4>fucking appointment. Sorry. Sorry, I'm not sure if I'm supposed

0:47:12.520 --> 0:47:14.319
<v Speaker 4>to swear, but like just.

0:47:14.440 --> 0:47:16.279
<v Speaker 2>Yes, of course, hold on. I don't know why this

0:47:16.320 --> 0:47:17.040
<v Speaker 2>always bothered me.

0:47:17.080 --> 0:47:21.000
<v Speaker 3>But of course you can swear, you can say, you

0:47:21.000 --> 0:47:21.920
<v Speaker 3>can say anything you want.

0:47:22.640 --> 0:47:24.759
<v Speaker 2>I just don't care. Sorry, I don't know why this.

0:47:24.840 --> 0:47:26.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, dude, I'm so sorry.

0:47:26.320 --> 0:47:28.120
<v Speaker 3>Kay, I don't know why that always works me up

0:47:28.120 --> 0:47:29.439
<v Speaker 3>when people ask if they can swear.

0:47:31.760 --> 0:47:33.680
<v Speaker 4>I should know better. I listened to the show.

0:47:33.760 --> 0:47:37.680
<v Speaker 3>If you listen to the show, you've heard people talk

0:47:37.719 --> 0:47:40.719
<v Speaker 3>about I mean, the guy just talked about you know, yeah,

0:47:40.840 --> 0:47:42.560
<v Speaker 3>you know you're anyway put it.

0:47:42.400 --> 0:47:46.000
<v Speaker 4>Into a frosty. I heard every bit of it, right, No, No,

0:47:46.040 --> 0:47:49.360
<v Speaker 4>for sure. Yeah. So I just you know, like he's

0:47:49.360 --> 0:47:52.480
<v Speaker 4>got ADHD and I don't. I'm neurotypical. And still for me,

0:47:52.520 --> 0:47:54.600
<v Speaker 4>it's like pretty easy, like let's just make the let's

0:47:54.640 --> 0:47:57.600
<v Speaker 4>make the doctor's appointment. But it's like harder, you know,

0:47:57.640 --> 0:47:59.520
<v Speaker 4>when you have to like, okay, what's the end goal?

0:47:59.520 --> 0:48:00.960
<v Speaker 4>You got to go to all these steps, and so

0:48:01.080 --> 0:48:03.360
<v Speaker 4>I'll like try to like help, right, like in my

0:48:03.400 --> 0:48:07.279
<v Speaker 4>head it's helping, but like it's not actually helping, and

0:48:07.280 --> 0:48:09.319
<v Speaker 4>in fact, like when I'm checking in, I'm like, hey,

0:48:09.400 --> 0:48:11.799
<v Speaker 4>when you're gonna be home tonight, like that feels like

0:48:11.840 --> 0:48:14.120
<v Speaker 4>suffocating to him in a way that like it doesn't

0:48:14.160 --> 0:48:15.800
<v Speaker 4>to me because I'm over here like oh, I'm cooking

0:48:15.840 --> 0:48:18.480
<v Speaker 4>dinner or what have you, and I'm just checking in,

0:48:18.560 --> 0:48:20.360
<v Speaker 4>But for him, it's like, hey, can you back the

0:48:20.400 --> 0:48:20.919
<v Speaker 4>fuck off?

0:48:21.000 --> 0:48:21.160
<v Speaker 2>You know?

0:48:21.160 --> 0:48:22.319
<v Speaker 4>And he never does that to me.

0:48:22.800 --> 0:48:25.480
<v Speaker 2>What is your real therapist tell you about this?

0:48:26.640 --> 0:48:26.719
<v Speaker 5>She?

0:48:26.960 --> 0:48:29.880
<v Speaker 4>Uh, she told me last night I had a hard profession.

0:48:29.920 --> 0:48:33.000
<v Speaker 4>She told me, because she thinks, and she's probably right

0:48:33.000 --> 0:48:35.440
<v Speaker 4>that it all comes back to anxiety, right, there's some

0:48:35.480 --> 0:48:39.279
<v Speaker 4>sort of right, there's some sort of fear right associated

0:48:39.320 --> 0:48:42.160
<v Speaker 4>with whatever it is that I'm trying to control. And

0:48:42.200 --> 0:48:43.840
<v Speaker 4>so she told me last night, she said, hey, you

0:48:43.840 --> 0:48:46.960
<v Speaker 4>should personify it, like personify it in your head. And

0:48:47.000 --> 0:48:49.040
<v Speaker 4>so now I'm over here like having this image of

0:48:49.080 --> 0:48:51.959
<v Speaker 4>like Gollum, you know, and Lord of the Rings, where

0:48:51.960 --> 0:48:54.640
<v Speaker 4>like you've got Snegel and you've got Gallum, and then

0:48:54.640 --> 0:48:57.200
<v Speaker 4>maybe anxiety's my Gollum and Sneagel to him, you know

0:48:57.239 --> 0:48:59.279
<v Speaker 4>who I am, right, But I'm talking to this thing.

0:49:00.000 --> 0:49:01.680
<v Speaker 4>I don't know how helpful that's going to be, but

0:49:01.840 --> 0:49:04.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm willing to try that. Like maybe I can talk

0:49:04.640 --> 0:49:06.440
<v Speaker 4>to the anxiety and I can talk to the fear.

0:49:06.560 --> 0:49:09.600
<v Speaker 4>But I'm concerned I'm never going to be able to

0:49:09.600 --> 0:49:12.040
<v Speaker 4>get to a point where there is no Gollumn voice

0:49:12.239 --> 0:49:13.960
<v Speaker 4>in the head, you know what I mean. Like, I

0:49:14.000 --> 0:49:15.680
<v Speaker 4>want to get to a point where I'm no longer

0:49:15.719 --> 0:49:18.120
<v Speaker 4>having to have that internal dialogue. I don't know how

0:49:18.160 --> 0:49:20.920
<v Speaker 4>to not not want to worry or not want to control.

0:49:21.200 --> 0:49:25.560
<v Speaker 2>Tell me more about that Galumn voice? What is it? Yeah?

0:49:24.880 --> 0:49:26.120
<v Speaker 4>What's saying?

0:49:26.640 --> 0:49:26.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:49:26.880 --> 0:49:29.120
<v Speaker 4>So I mean, like, you know, I don't know if

0:49:29.160 --> 0:49:32.359
<v Speaker 4>you have anxiety or not. Like I've heard you talk

0:49:32.400 --> 0:49:34.880
<v Speaker 4>sometimes about your own ship, so so I don't know

0:49:34.880 --> 0:49:36.879
<v Speaker 4>if you've experienced this, but it's that it's that little

0:49:36.960 --> 0:49:39.279
<v Speaker 4>voice in your head like everything's going right and then

0:49:39.280 --> 0:49:41.040
<v Speaker 4>like a person sends you like a like a three

0:49:41.080 --> 0:49:43.160
<v Speaker 4>word text when you're expecting a five word text, and

0:49:43.160 --> 0:49:45.319
<v Speaker 4>there's that little voice in your head that's like, oh,

0:49:45.320 --> 0:49:47.440
<v Speaker 4>they must they must hate you, you know, that's the

0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:49.839
<v Speaker 4>friendship's over right there. You said no to one thing

0:49:49.880 --> 0:49:52.000
<v Speaker 4>and now they hate you. Know, that's the goalumn voice, right,

0:49:52.040 --> 0:49:57.880
<v Speaker 4>It's like it's feeding you this negativity mm hmm yeah.

0:49:58.000 --> 0:50:00.239
<v Speaker 4>And I like, I just want to not hear that anymore.

0:50:00.440 --> 0:50:02.359
<v Speaker 4>I want to, you know, like, how do you get

0:50:02.400 --> 0:50:04.799
<v Speaker 4>to a point where you where you no longer have

0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:07.239
<v Speaker 4>that that little voice that just makes you want to

0:50:07.480 --> 0:50:10.280
<v Speaker 4>want to just manage things, want to take control of things.

0:50:10.760 --> 0:50:13.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean that's an interesting thing. I deal.

0:50:13.920 --> 0:50:19.760
<v Speaker 3>I deal a lot with anxiety, and I've been very recently,

0:50:19.800 --> 0:50:22.440
<v Speaker 3>even just on a journey, I've how to kind of

0:50:22.760 --> 0:50:27.839
<v Speaker 3>get those thoughts out of my head and whatnot and

0:50:28.640 --> 0:50:31.719
<v Speaker 3>what I mean to be frank, now that you're making

0:50:31.719 --> 0:50:34.000
<v Speaker 3>me think about it, It's like, what gets me out

0:50:34.040 --> 0:50:37.240
<v Speaker 3>of that is like being in the present moment of

0:50:37.280 --> 0:50:40.160
<v Speaker 3>whatever it is I'm doing. And that's easier sometimes and

0:50:40.239 --> 0:50:43.960
<v Speaker 3>harder sometimes.

0:50:42.719 --> 0:50:43.840
<v Speaker 2>Because like how do you do that?

0:50:43.840 --> 0:50:45.239
<v Speaker 4>How do you pull yourself out of it?

0:50:48.520 --> 0:50:52.359
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to think, Well, if I'm like sitting idly right,

0:50:54.080 --> 0:50:55.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna just my brain's just going to go to

0:50:56.239 --> 0:50:59.719
<v Speaker 3>horrible anxious places. But if I'm in the flow state,

0:50:59.760 --> 0:51:02.600
<v Speaker 3>if I'm like actually doing something to get my brain

0:51:02.640 --> 0:51:06.000
<v Speaker 3>out of that, uh, you know, I won't be so

0:51:06.040 --> 0:51:08.720
<v Speaker 3>focused on the anxiety. I mean, that's life, right, Life

0:51:08.760 --> 0:51:12.359
<v Speaker 3>is a series of trying to avoid thinking about your

0:51:12.360 --> 0:51:16.840
<v Speaker 3>own death and then you die. And so that's just like,

0:51:16.880 --> 0:51:19.359
<v Speaker 3>how do you distract yourself? Really, that's what you're trying

0:51:19.360 --> 0:51:22.200
<v Speaker 3>to do, is distract yourself from this anxiety.

0:51:22.239 --> 0:51:23.799
<v Speaker 2>And how you do that? I don't I really don't

0:51:23.800 --> 0:51:29.719
<v Speaker 2>know what typically sorry, go ahead, go ahead.

0:51:31.120 --> 0:51:33.080
<v Speaker 4>How do you distract yourself in those moments?

0:51:33.160 --> 0:51:34.000
<v Speaker 5>What what do you turn to?

0:51:35.160 --> 0:51:35.800
<v Speaker 2>Let's see.

0:51:36.560 --> 0:51:40.560
<v Speaker 3>The actual answer is I uh, I masturbate and eat

0:51:40.600 --> 0:51:45.200
<v Speaker 3>shitty food and go on fucking TikTok. That's the real answers.

0:51:46.719 --> 0:51:48.640
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I mean those are my bad ones, but

0:51:48.880 --> 0:51:51.759
<v Speaker 3>I you know, in other ways. I I'll lately I've

0:51:51.760 --> 0:51:54.520
<v Speaker 3>been like, you know, fucking exercising and that helps.

0:51:54.560 --> 0:51:57.279
<v Speaker 2>It's why people exercise same.

0:51:57.480 --> 0:51:58.640
<v Speaker 4>That's been really helpful for me.

0:51:58.600 --> 0:52:01.319
<v Speaker 3>Too, dude, That's what games are fucking great for that.

0:52:01.440 --> 0:52:05.360
<v Speaker 3>But but again, I don't know what the hell was

0:52:05.360 --> 0:52:05.879
<v Speaker 3>I was.

0:52:05.840 --> 0:52:09.120
<v Speaker 4>I gonna say, I think you're gonna ask me a question,

0:52:09.160 --> 0:52:10.160
<v Speaker 4>and then I was going to ask you a.

0:52:10.160 --> 0:52:13.840
<v Speaker 2>Question about what are you typically doing? Uh? When anxiety

0:52:13.880 --> 0:52:16.800
<v Speaker 2>creeps up on you anything.

0:52:16.920 --> 0:52:20.279
<v Speaker 4>I mean literally anything like truly, it's it's everywhere. It's

0:52:20.440 --> 0:52:23.080
<v Speaker 4>it's usually situational, right, It's like maybe I'm at work

0:52:23.120 --> 0:52:27.200
<v Speaker 4>and I'm thinking about whatever, and then the anxiety that's

0:52:27.239 --> 0:52:29.920
<v Speaker 4>in I mean and tracing it back, right, the anxiety

0:52:30.000 --> 0:52:32.840
<v Speaker 4>usually comes back to very reasonable things. It's usually Okay,

0:52:32.840 --> 0:52:38.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm concerned about money, or I'm concerned about you know. Uh,

0:52:38.120 --> 0:52:42.200
<v Speaker 4>it's like maintaining my my partner's happiness or my own happiness.

0:52:42.200 --> 0:52:44.800
<v Speaker 4>And I know that I'm not responsible for my husband's happiness.

0:52:44.800 --> 0:52:47.680
<v Speaker 4>Like I know that right consciously, but like it's this

0:52:47.719 --> 0:52:50.719
<v Speaker 4>little code toxic codependency trait that I have where I

0:52:50.719 --> 0:52:53.000
<v Speaker 4>think I'm responsible and the goblins. You know that the

0:52:53.040 --> 0:52:54.680
<v Speaker 4>gall and brain said, I'm responsible.

0:52:55.040 --> 0:52:57.440
<v Speaker 3>Did your therapist tell you anything else? Did your therapist

0:52:57.440 --> 0:52:59.640
<v Speaker 3>tell you anything else that was helpful except to imagine

0:52:59.640 --> 0:53:00.440
<v Speaker 3>that you're magel.

0:53:02.160 --> 0:53:05.480
<v Speaker 4>She didn't specifically say that. That was my interpretation of it.

0:53:06.719 --> 0:53:10.520
<v Speaker 4>But you know, we're still new. We're new into this therapy.

0:53:10.640 --> 0:53:13.799
<v Speaker 4>They've been doing it for a couple of months, and yeah,

0:53:13.840 --> 0:53:16.440
<v Speaker 4>not not much. Als decides that yet. She's she's impressed

0:53:16.480 --> 0:53:19.880
<v Speaker 4>that I'm acknowledging my problems. And I think that right

0:53:19.920 --> 0:53:21.799
<v Speaker 4>now we're in the kind of like good for you.

0:53:21.800 --> 0:53:24.279
<v Speaker 4>You're realizing you have an issue. Now we got to

0:53:24.280 --> 0:53:30.040
<v Speaker 4>figure out how to solve it. Yeah, it's freaking tough, dude.

0:53:30.680 --> 0:53:36.839
<v Speaker 3>M what are you anxious about? I know you've kind

0:53:36.840 --> 0:53:41.480
<v Speaker 3>of talked about it at the beginning of this, but like.

0:53:40.400 --> 0:53:42.880
<v Speaker 2>Like, really, dig it. Here's another thing. Here's another thing

0:53:42.920 --> 0:53:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I do when I get anxious. And I actually.

0:53:45.640 --> 0:53:49.840
<v Speaker 3>Don't know if this is helpful or not, but I

0:53:50.000 --> 0:53:52.400
<v Speaker 3>just follow my anxiety.

0:53:52.680 --> 0:53:56.719
<v Speaker 2>I just follow the thread, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

0:53:57.239 --> 0:53:57.680
<v Speaker 2>like you're.

0:53:57.520 --> 0:54:00.480
<v Speaker 3>Worried about money, you know, I'm like, all right, well,

0:54:00.480 --> 0:54:03.160
<v Speaker 3>what happens if I go broke? Then maybe this will happen,

0:54:03.239 --> 0:54:04.920
<v Speaker 3>then this will happen, then this will happen this, But

0:54:05.000 --> 0:54:09.960
<v Speaker 3>I just follow it until it's like, you know, it

0:54:10.040 --> 0:54:11.520
<v Speaker 3>kind of runs out of steam.

0:54:11.920 --> 0:54:14.120
<v Speaker 2>Right, it loses its power its.

0:54:15.920 --> 0:54:20.000
<v Speaker 3>Saying I don't know if that's healthy or not, because

0:54:20.000 --> 0:54:25.640
<v Speaker 3>that's that's some people would call that catastrophizing, right, That's

0:54:25.719 --> 0:54:28.040
<v Speaker 3>kind of what following your anxiety is.

0:54:28.080 --> 0:54:31.000
<v Speaker 4>But at the same time, I think that not knowing

0:54:31.120 --> 0:54:34.040
<v Speaker 4>is almost more anxiety inducing, Right, So I feel like

0:54:34.040 --> 0:54:36.400
<v Speaker 4>that's actually kind of helpful. Like, let's trace it. What

0:54:36.480 --> 0:54:39.000
<v Speaker 4>would happen if the worst case scenario occurred?

0:54:39.160 --> 0:54:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, right?

0:54:40.160 --> 0:54:42.080
<v Speaker 3>And often often when you trace it, you realize that

0:54:42.120 --> 0:54:45.840
<v Speaker 3>the worst case scenario is, you know, is livable.

0:54:45.880 --> 0:54:46.520
<v Speaker 2>It's not that bad.

0:54:46.520 --> 0:54:50.239
<v Speaker 4>It's no, no, you're You're totally right, dude, you're right.

0:54:50.280 --> 0:54:52.680
<v Speaker 2>And then there's the other there's the stoic I mean,

0:54:52.719 --> 0:54:54.120
<v Speaker 2>you should read it. Read up on some.

0:54:54.080 --> 0:54:57.480
<v Speaker 3>Stoic philosophy is really really helpful for anxiety.

0:54:58.760 --> 0:54:59.239
<v Speaker 2>Is one of them?

0:55:00.080 --> 0:55:00.920
<v Speaker 5>Subreded about that?

0:55:00.960 --> 0:55:02.920
<v Speaker 4>And then I didn't pursue that further, but I'm I

0:55:02.920 --> 0:55:04.359
<v Speaker 4>should definitely do that, thanks man.

0:55:04.640 --> 0:55:06.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:55:06.040 --> 0:55:09.480
<v Speaker 3>And then because one of the I've lately I've actually

0:55:09.480 --> 0:55:13.799
<v Speaker 3>been battling some stuff with the Stoic philosophy because in

0:55:13.840 --> 0:55:17.799
<v Speaker 3>some areas I don't believe it, but anxiety is one

0:55:17.800 --> 0:55:21.400
<v Speaker 3>where I do, because like, well there's this there's a

0:55:21.440 --> 0:55:28.800
<v Speaker 3>big thing in Stoic philosophy of like don't suffer imagined troubles,

0:55:29.400 --> 0:55:34.160
<v Speaker 3>right like all like anxiety is like it's the suffering

0:55:34.960 --> 0:55:42.880
<v Speaker 3>of an anticipation of an event. How fucking stupid is that?

0:55:42.440 --> 0:55:45.640
<v Speaker 6>It's so stupid because it hasn't even happened, and so

0:55:45.840 --> 0:55:52.440
<v Speaker 6>you're just you're suffering deeply from from something that hasn't

0:55:52.880 --> 0:55:54.320
<v Speaker 6>even happened.

0:55:55.040 --> 0:55:57.440
<v Speaker 3>It's one thing to suffer because of a thing that happened.

0:55:57.440 --> 0:56:01.280
<v Speaker 3>But anxiety is like an if you even if you

0:56:01.320 --> 0:56:04.480
<v Speaker 3>know a bad thing is going to happen, your anxiety

0:56:05.000 --> 0:56:08.319
<v Speaker 3>over the inevitability of the bad thing is just you

0:56:08.520 --> 0:56:10.400
<v Speaker 3>suffering more than is necessary.

0:56:10.960 --> 0:56:17.040
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's a foolish thing. I was listening. I'm

0:56:17.080 --> 0:56:19.080
<v Speaker 2>listening to a podcast right now. Shout out.

0:56:19.239 --> 0:56:21.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna shout out a podcast I've been listening to.

0:56:21.440 --> 0:56:25.560
<v Speaker 3>It's uh, it's doctor K, who actually should get on

0:56:25.640 --> 0:56:26.680
<v Speaker 3>my podcast at some point.

0:56:26.719 --> 0:56:31.760
<v Speaker 2>He fucking rocks Doctor K. He's going, you know, doctor

0:56:31.840 --> 0:56:36.279
<v Speaker 2>k Yeah, yeah, he's yeah, he's great. He's great.

0:56:36.520 --> 0:56:39.360
<v Speaker 3>And he said, crap, he said something to me. You know,

0:56:39.400 --> 0:56:40.719
<v Speaker 3>he didn't say this to me. He said this on

0:56:40.760 --> 0:56:46.760
<v Speaker 3>a podcast. He said that like the brain is can

0:56:46.880 --> 0:56:51.399
<v Speaker 3>like like the anxiety, the brain can do this thing

0:56:51.600 --> 0:56:55.279
<v Speaker 3>where your anxiety over a negative event is just as

0:56:55.320 --> 0:56:59.560
<v Speaker 3>bad as if the negative event actually happened. So your

0:56:59.640 --> 0:57:03.800
<v Speaker 3>creator in your brain negative events that you're suffering from,

0:57:04.320 --> 0:57:08.960
<v Speaker 3>even though the negative event actually isn't even happening. That's

0:57:09.040 --> 0:57:11.239
<v Speaker 3>in my mind, Jesus Christ, it's not even real.

0:57:12.280 --> 0:57:14.239
<v Speaker 4>I no one has ever phrased it like that to

0:57:14.320 --> 0:57:17.520
<v Speaker 4>me before. So that's actually like, that's that is kind

0:57:17.520 --> 0:57:19.000
<v Speaker 4>of crazy when you really think about it.

0:57:19.240 --> 0:57:23.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so you know, try that at the end of

0:57:23.360 --> 0:57:26.840
<v Speaker 3>the day. I you know, look, man, I've listened to

0:57:26.840 --> 0:57:30.720
<v Speaker 3>tons of podcasts of you know, done whatever, and I

0:57:30.760 --> 0:57:33.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, I still get get anxious and I'm still

0:57:33.680 --> 0:57:36.960
<v Speaker 3>dealing with it myself. But uh, yeah, that's something I've

0:57:36.960 --> 0:57:38.800
<v Speaker 3>been thinking about lately. I'm gonna try to think about more.

0:57:40.080 --> 0:57:42.160
<v Speaker 4>I love that, man, I'm absolutely going to try that.

0:57:42.200 --> 0:57:45.000
<v Speaker 4>Thank you so much for that, for that advice. You do.

0:57:45.040 --> 0:57:45.760
<v Speaker 1>You do good work.

0:57:46.520 --> 0:57:50.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't know I I don't it was about it.

0:57:51.160 --> 0:57:51.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:57:51.680 --> 0:57:54.240
<v Speaker 3>I get, I get, I get to breast sometimes because

0:57:54.240 --> 0:57:55.640
<v Speaker 3>I think. I'm like, I don't is any of this

0:57:55.760 --> 0:57:59.560
<v Speaker 3>ship all this at a certain point? Is it just

0:57:59.600 --> 0:58:00.680
<v Speaker 3>like you just deal with it?

0:58:01.320 --> 0:58:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't. Do you ever do you ever actually

0:58:02.840 --> 0:58:03.400
<v Speaker 2>get cured?

0:58:03.480 --> 0:58:06.360
<v Speaker 3>Do you ever you imagine a future version of yourself

0:58:06.400 --> 0:58:10.800
<v Speaker 3>that is totally living a beautiful, amazing, perfect life? But

0:58:10.840 --> 0:58:13.720
<v Speaker 3>it never comes? And I'm like, is that becau? Is

0:58:13.760 --> 0:58:15.640
<v Speaker 3>that my fault because I didn't do any work to

0:58:15.640 --> 0:58:18.280
<v Speaker 3>actually create that? Or is it because you actually that

0:58:18.360 --> 0:58:22.920
<v Speaker 3>doesn't even exist? But then in the acceptance that that

0:58:23.000 --> 0:58:24.840
<v Speaker 3>doesn't exist, can you find peace?

0:58:24.960 --> 0:58:25.440
<v Speaker 1>Maybe?

0:58:25.680 --> 0:58:26.800
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know that.

0:58:28.040 --> 0:58:29.640
<v Speaker 4>I think I think that's right. I think in the

0:58:29.720 --> 0:58:31.760
<v Speaker 4>second thing, is that's right? I mean, because it's a

0:58:31.760 --> 0:58:35.200
<v Speaker 4>brain issue, right, It's like a that's like a wiring issue.

0:58:35.240 --> 0:58:36.960
<v Speaker 4>But I think that if you if you can accept it,

0:58:37.000 --> 0:58:38.600
<v Speaker 4>and if you can say, hey, I'm going to manage it,

0:58:39.080 --> 0:58:42.120
<v Speaker 4>then you can find that piece. Well. Don't play that

0:58:42.320 --> 0:58:43.080
<v Speaker 4>very inspirational.

0:58:43.240 --> 0:58:43.880
<v Speaker 7>I like it.

0:58:44.040 --> 0:58:46.560
<v Speaker 2>Don't play the Golem video game. I heard it's really bad.

0:58:47.800 --> 0:58:49.720
<v Speaker 4>I also heard it was really bad. I'm kind of

0:58:49.720 --> 0:58:50.120
<v Speaker 4>tempted to.

0:58:50.080 --> 0:58:52.439
<v Speaker 2>Play it because of that, though, go play it sounds fun.

0:58:53.400 --> 0:58:55.520
<v Speaker 4>Hey, I had a quick question for you before we

0:58:55.600 --> 0:58:58.120
<v Speaker 4>do the sign off thing, which is that my husband,

0:58:58.200 --> 0:59:00.360
<v Speaker 4>he's an artist, and he was thinking about make an

0:59:00.440 --> 0:59:02.720
<v Speaker 4>art piece for you to bring to your Seattle show.

0:59:02.720 --> 0:59:06.120
<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, oh no if yeah, So if he

0:59:06.160 --> 0:59:08.200
<v Speaker 4>did that, how could we get that to you? Like,

0:59:08.240 --> 0:59:10.120
<v Speaker 4>if there's somebody we could hand it to at the show?

0:59:10.240 --> 0:59:10.760
<v Speaker 2>Is there something?

0:59:10.800 --> 0:59:15.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh well, after after after after every show, after every show,

0:59:15.680 --> 0:59:18.520
<v Speaker 3>unless if I have like another show that night, I

0:59:18.560 --> 0:59:20.720
<v Speaker 3>stand around and I meet everyone, so.

0:59:21.160 --> 0:59:24.560
<v Speaker 4>Oh no ship, Okay, cool, so we can just hand

0:59:24.560 --> 0:59:24.840
<v Speaker 4>it to you.

0:59:25.080 --> 0:59:27.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you can just hand I'll see you there. Yeah,

0:59:27.440 --> 0:59:32.640
<v Speaker 3>at every show. I there's some of the shows have

0:59:32.760 --> 0:59:34.880
<v Speaker 3>like VIP tickets, but that's I do the meet and

0:59:34.920 --> 0:59:36.840
<v Speaker 3>greet like for everyone I don't have, it's not the

0:59:36.920 --> 0:59:39.360
<v Speaker 3>paid to meet and greet. So like if you buy

0:59:39.400 --> 0:59:41.960
<v Speaker 3>a ticket, it's like if you if you're at the

0:59:42.000 --> 0:59:44.600
<v Speaker 3>show and you are you're willing to stand in a

0:59:44.640 --> 0:59:47.720
<v Speaker 3>line of a bunch of people, Uh, well I'll we will,

0:59:47.880 --> 0:59:49.200
<v Speaker 3>we will inevitably meet.

0:59:50.280 --> 0:59:51.840
<v Speaker 4>We will stand in line for you guys.

0:59:52.000 --> 0:59:54.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, cool, No, that sounds awesome. Thank you so much

0:59:54.040 --> 0:59:54.520
<v Speaker 2>for doing that.

0:59:55.400 --> 0:59:57.280
<v Speaker 4>Oh no, I mean, don't think me. I think my husband,

0:59:57.280 --> 0:59:59.040
<v Speaker 4>and he's pretty excited to see your show. So we

0:59:59.080 --> 0:59:59.440
<v Speaker 4>can't wait.

0:59:59.800 --> 1:00:01.960
<v Speaker 2>Rock roll. Wait, are you going to the early one

1:00:02.040 --> 1:00:02.840
<v Speaker 2>or the late one?

1:00:03.440 --> 1:00:04.280
<v Speaker 4>Remember the late one?

1:00:04.560 --> 1:00:04.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

1:00:04.800 --> 1:00:06.600
<v Speaker 3>Perfect, okay, because I'm not gonna be able to meet

1:00:06.640 --> 1:00:08.120
<v Speaker 3>people from the late from the early one, but the

1:00:08.160 --> 1:00:08.600
<v Speaker 3>late one.

1:00:08.520 --> 1:00:09.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm yeah, I'm there.

1:00:09.960 --> 1:00:12.160
<v Speaker 4>I figured, you know, screw the school day. The next day,

1:00:12.240 --> 1:00:14.280
<v Speaker 4>get gos in town, so we got to check out

1:00:14.280 --> 1:00:16.480
<v Speaker 4>the late show. Figure, don't get more unhinged in the

1:00:16.480 --> 1:00:17.400
<v Speaker 4>early show could.

1:00:17.200 --> 1:00:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Be wrong, though, rock and Roll. No, I'm excited. I will.

1:00:20.720 --> 1:00:22.840
<v Speaker 3>I'll I'll see you there and then you can tell

1:00:22.880 --> 1:00:25.600
<v Speaker 3>me that you were the Gollum Lady and I'll be like,

1:00:25.640 --> 1:00:27.520
<v Speaker 3>oh shit, I remember that.

1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:28.400
<v Speaker 2>That's exactly right.

1:00:28.440 --> 1:00:30.120
<v Speaker 5>That's what I will tell you.

1:00:30.200 --> 1:00:30.520
<v Speaker 2>I love.

1:00:30.600 --> 1:00:31.720
<v Speaker 4>That is who I am.

1:00:31.760 --> 1:00:33.520
<v Speaker 2>Now, by the way, I'm just gonna say this. I

1:00:33.840 --> 1:00:35.200
<v Speaker 2>I know, okay, I know people.

1:00:35.360 --> 1:00:35.560
<v Speaker 4>You know.

1:00:35.600 --> 1:00:38.439
<v Speaker 3>People think I don't care because I don't remember anyone's name,

1:00:38.720 --> 1:00:39.120
<v Speaker 3>But I.

1:00:39.080 --> 1:00:40.919
<v Speaker 2>Swear to God. I swear then I don't.

1:00:40.920 --> 1:00:43.520
<v Speaker 3>I don't remember his name, but but but I swear

1:00:43.560 --> 1:00:45.560
<v Speaker 3>to God. I do these the meet and greets, and

1:00:45.600 --> 1:00:47.800
<v Speaker 3>people will come up to me and be like, hey,

1:00:47.920 --> 1:00:50.200
<v Speaker 3>you're definitely not gonna remember this, but three years ago

1:00:50.240 --> 1:00:52.280
<v Speaker 3>we talked about this, and I'll be like, I fucking

1:00:52.360 --> 1:00:53.040
<v Speaker 3>actually do remember.

1:00:53.040 --> 1:00:55.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't remember anyone, but I remember the calls. Let's see.

1:00:55.960 --> 1:00:56.640
<v Speaker 2>There was a guy.

1:00:56.920 --> 1:00:58.880
<v Speaker 4>You don't need to justify names to me at all.

1:00:58.880 --> 1:01:00.439
<v Speaker 4>I'm a teacher. I can't remember his names.

1:01:00.440 --> 1:01:00.880
<v Speaker 2>It's awful.

1:01:00.920 --> 1:01:01.920
<v Speaker 4>It takes me three months.

1:01:02.040 --> 1:01:04.480
<v Speaker 2>There was a guy. It was was in Tampa.

1:01:05.160 --> 1:01:07.120
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if any of you guys who listened

1:01:07.240 --> 1:01:08.920
<v Speaker 3>to a lot of the podcasts remember.

1:01:08.600 --> 1:01:12.040
<v Speaker 2>This, but there's a dude who was like in ah crap.

1:01:12.120 --> 1:01:15.880
<v Speaker 3>He lived in like Alaska or or deep in Canada

1:01:15.960 --> 1:01:18.040
<v Speaker 3>or something, and he was getting sober and he was

1:01:18.120 --> 1:01:22.080
<v Speaker 3>like agoraphobic and like hadn't left the house.

1:01:22.080 --> 1:01:24.200
<v Speaker 2>In in years and years and years.

1:01:24.200 --> 1:01:25.440
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you guys remember this, but I

1:01:25.480 --> 1:01:28.240
<v Speaker 3>met him at the fucking show and he was like,

1:01:28.240 --> 1:01:29.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you remember me, but I was

1:01:29.320 --> 1:01:31.400
<v Speaker 3>the guy in Alaska. I can't gor phobi And I

1:01:31.400 --> 1:01:34.200
<v Speaker 3>was like, I remember that, and he and there he was.

1:01:34.240 --> 1:01:35.480
<v Speaker 2>He gave us out of his house I don't know.

1:01:35.600 --> 1:01:37.160
<v Speaker 3>I think he went. I was like, what the fuck

1:01:37.160 --> 1:01:39.000
<v Speaker 3>are you doing in Tampa from Alaska? And he's like,

1:01:39.000 --> 1:01:43.800
<v Speaker 3>we came for the show. And I was like, holy shit. Anyway, anyway,

1:01:43.920 --> 1:01:44.240
<v Speaker 3>you did.

1:01:44.400 --> 1:01:45.880
<v Speaker 4>You cured him a phobia. Dude.

1:01:46.760 --> 1:01:47.080
<v Speaker 2>You know what.

1:01:47.120 --> 1:01:48.640
<v Speaker 4>Hey, thank you so much for talking to me, Lyle.

1:01:48.680 --> 1:01:49.600
<v Speaker 4>I really appreciate it.

1:01:49.760 --> 1:01:51.520
<v Speaker 2>Hey, take care, man, you have a blessed one.

1:01:51.600 --> 1:01:53.120
<v Speaker 4>Hey you too, man.

1:01:53.560 --> 1:01:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Goodbye. Hello folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of

1:01:57.280 --> 1:02:02.000
<v Speaker 2>this episode. But get this, I'm really a bonus episode

1:02:02.440 --> 1:02:03.000
<v Speaker 2>this week.

1:02:03.120 --> 1:02:07.760
<v Speaker 3>That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that

1:02:07.840 --> 1:02:11.000
<v Speaker 3>you can listen to by becoming a premium member of

1:02:11.160 --> 1:02:16.000
<v Speaker 3>Therapy Gecko over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com.

1:02:16.040 --> 1:02:19.720
<v Speaker 3>Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a

1:02:19.760 --> 1:02:23.600
<v Speaker 3>completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show, they

1:02:23.640 --> 1:02:27.320
<v Speaker 3>get recordings from my live shows, members only streams, and

1:02:27.360 --> 1:02:30.680
<v Speaker 3>they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast.

1:02:30.960 --> 1:02:35.640
<v Speaker 3>So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

1:02:35.800 --> 1:02:39.120
<v Speaker 8>One day, at four o'clock in the morning, two dudes

1:02:39.160 --> 1:02:44.520
<v Speaker 8>came into my room and they basically kidnapped me. They

1:02:44.520 --> 1:02:48.160
<v Speaker 8>told me, you're going to go to Hawaii, or you

1:02:48.160 --> 1:02:52.040
<v Speaker 8>can go to the desert. And I'd just why. My

1:02:52.080 --> 1:02:55.320
<v Speaker 8>grandmother came in with them and was like crying and shit, sorry,

1:02:55.320 --> 1:02:56.640
<v Speaker 8>am I going like too fast?

1:02:57.240 --> 1:03:00.040
<v Speaker 2>You know I'm not a real therapist, right, I do?

1:03:00.120 --> 1:03:00.400
<v Speaker 3>I do?

1:03:00.600 --> 1:03:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay. I just wanted to make sure because yeah, this

1:03:04.440 --> 1:03:07.320
<v Speaker 2>this is pretty deep ship. It's pretty deep ship. So

1:03:07.360 --> 1:03:08.320
<v Speaker 2>you went, you got you were.

1:03:08.360 --> 1:03:10.360
<v Speaker 3>This is one of those like your parents orchestrate your

1:03:10.400 --> 1:03:13.000
<v Speaker 3>kidnapping for like troubled children kind of ship.

1:03:14.440 --> 1:03:16.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, dude, that's exactly what it was.

1:03:16.200 --> 1:03:18.240
<v Speaker 3>If you want to hear this full conversation, you can

1:03:18.240 --> 1:03:21.320
<v Speaker 3>sign up to become a premium member at Therapy Gecko

1:03:21.480 --> 1:03:25.320
<v Speaker 3>dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the

1:03:25.360 --> 1:03:31.160
<v Speaker 3>episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,

1:03:31.560 --> 1:03:35.920
<v Speaker 3>I have nothing else to say, goes on the line,

1:03:36.200 --> 1:03:38.080
<v Speaker 3>taking his own calls every nine.

1:03:39.320 --> 1:03:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Goes to he's teaching you a life