Speaker 1: Hi, how are you. I'm doing good. How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good?
Speaker 3: This is Talia we met. She is an author, a
Speaker 3: dating coach, and a matchmaker.
Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about the burner method, which I've talked about before.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about wanting to have things at different temperatures.
Speaker 3: I say, like, I believe that in the beginning, when
Speaker 3: you're dating, you wanna if you're not having a like
Speaker 3: if you were paying a lot of money for a matchmaker,
Speaker 3: you're not playing around and doesn't you don't need a
Speaker 3: matchmaker to find someone that you can sleep with.
Speaker 2: But I mean, if you're.
Speaker 3: A person that's like getting out there and does ultimately
Speaker 3: want to meet someone, I've always felt that the burner method,
Speaker 3: meaning you have something on boil, something on sim or something,
Speaker 3: it's taken off like you got a bunch of things
Speaker 3: cooking at the same time, so you see what really
Speaker 3: works and you can turn the whole stove off and
Speaker 3: not do anything.
Speaker 2: You can get full. I think.
Speaker 3: But why I'm asking you that is what if somebody
Speaker 3: presents themselves that could fit into for the time being
Speaker 3: until you meet someone the fun category or the friend
Speaker 3: filler category, or the friends of benefits or an adventure
Speaker 3: guy that's really fun is going to want to go
Speaker 3: take you on a vacation, but it's never going to
Speaker 3: be the real thing. Like where are you on that
Speaker 3: filler if you're not expecting it to be the real thing?
Speaker 2: You know, the connective tissue or do you just be alone?
Speaker 2: Sit home?
Speaker 3: Because I also think those can make you feel a
Speaker 3: little better in the meantime if you have a self
Speaker 3: control to not get into those relationships.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I was about to say, because you
Speaker 1: have to know yourself. Well, I'll have to know can
Speaker 1: I do this and not fall for this person knowing
Speaker 1: that this is not the right car to get in.
Speaker 1: So it's like if you're really good at having fillers,
Speaker 1: and you're good at like, okay, this is just a
Speaker 1: fun time, I'm being fully the president with it, but
Speaker 1: I know this isn't my end. I'll be all and
Speaker 1: you have enough self control of your emotions to know that,
Speaker 1: and you can just hop into and go on a
Speaker 1: vacation and then come back and know that like that
Speaker 1: that's what that was, so be it. And so I
Speaker 1: think this says not I don't think everyone can do that.
Speaker 1: So it's about knowing yourself.
Speaker 3: Well, I believe that people get jobs when they have jobs,
Speaker 3: people are sitting being desperate. They get men when they
Speaker 3: have I don't mean married, but when you've got game
Speaker 3: and you got your energy going to your point of
Speaker 3: energy match, that's when you're attracting. So I think there
Speaker 3: is a fine line there where woman needs to you know,
Speaker 3: not seem so sitting home waiting for that guy, and
Speaker 3: then their energy gives desperation because they've got only one
Speaker 3: pot on the stove. So I believe there should be
Speaker 3: some energetic shifting and the planets moving in circles until
Speaker 3: you find someone in each person. And even if some
Speaker 3: people you don't know if they're right yet, but you
Speaker 3: should be giving each person attention and making each person
Speaker 3: feel special until you figure out what you're doing.
Speaker 2: So where are you on all that?
Speaker 1: I totally agree with you. I think that sounds great.
Speaker 1: Here's the only thing I will say, I just so
Speaker 1: no one gets confused. Okay, if you were in because
Speaker 1: I've seen this so many times where someone will get
Speaker 1: too far down the road and it will turn into
Speaker 1: a situationship.
Speaker 2: A situationship.
Speaker 1: Yes, we were in a situationship, and there's no real commitment,
Speaker 1: but that person's taking up all their time. Then now
Speaker 1: you're energetically blocking you're mister Wright from coming in.
Speaker 3: I agree, there's a very it's a seesaw. You have
Speaker 3: to have the right balance because otherwise you now you've
Speaker 3: made a commitment on the set that weekend to go
Speaker 3: with that person, and now you're not open for dates
Speaker 3: with the other people. So so how do you find
Speaker 3: that balance or it's just you just got to find
Speaker 3: that balance.
Speaker 1: You just got to find that balance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Trial and error, you know.
Speaker 3: And and let's talk about the importance of being alone.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about your setting people up. You are getting
Speaker 3: paid a lot of money. Now, I believe that My
Speaker 3: theory is that some people are probably coming to you
Speaker 3: and they kind of just want you to like give
Speaker 3: them like insta person like you're almost supposed to do
Speaker 3: all the work, but they're not really available and don't
Speaker 3: really want to like do what they said. That's one
Speaker 3: thing that I believe that happens. And then I would
Speaker 3: believe that women probably it's scared money. They come in
Speaker 3: and they want you to like solve all their problems,
Speaker 3: but they're not really ready they just want you to
Speaker 3: make it like good for them, Like if someone's coming
Speaker 3: out of a relationship, for example, or someone has never
Speaker 3: been alone in their life. You know, I hear a
Speaker 3: lot of women about that, like they just are uncomfortable
Speaker 3: being alone. How does someone have to show up to
Speaker 3: you and to the apps and to the dating process
Speaker 3: if they really want to meet someone, Because we talked
Speaker 3: on here about someone has to be like confident love
Speaker 3: themselves and the person they would want to date, Like
Speaker 3: they have to be the whole person versus the reaction
Speaker 3: to the last person or giving desperation or sadness or
Speaker 3: going through the breakup. Like where does someone need to
Speaker 3: come in to go looking for this position?
Speaker 1: Rare a rate? I well, there's a for the record,
Speaker 1: because I don't just work with anyone. There has to
Speaker 1: be There's so many things that I go through for
Speaker 1: myself to figure out is that a partnership I want
Speaker 1: to be in as far as taking on a client.
Speaker 1: But I think the biggest thing for any when listening
Speaker 1: to this, that's interesting, Oh yeah, because you want to
Speaker 1: work at people you like, people that you genuinely vibe with.
Speaker 3: Well like, but also if you think that they're real,
Speaker 3: like in that they really get that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: That's where we're getting.
Speaker 1: Okay, So okay, yeah, I was gonna say the state
Speaker 1: of readiness. I have to hear I'm ready to meet
Speaker 1: that right person. I have done some of the work.
Speaker 1: I am fully available. You know. Like people that come
Speaker 1: to me that just got out of a ten year
Speaker 1: situation and the breakup happened yesterday, I'm like, I think
Speaker 1: you need a little bit of time to heal. This
Speaker 1: happened yesterday and you haven't experienced being single in ten years.
Speaker 1: Like let's give it. Let's give it at least a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks, you know. So I think the state
Speaker 1: of readiness, Yeah, I think that's a big part of it.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I like in what you do to.
Speaker 3: You're placing a CEO at Apple, Like if you are
Speaker 3: going to bring someone in for that job and they're
Speaker 3: going to like not know how to use a stapler
Speaker 3: on the first day and like show up late, you're
Speaker 3: going to look bad. So I feel like what you're
Speaker 3: saying is like it's a commitment, like a job as
Speaker 3: a commitment. So if someone's going to come in, they
Speaker 3: have to be willing to back it up. And if
Speaker 3: someone's going to go on the apps, listen, you can
Speaker 3: go on the apps to have sex. I'm not saying
Speaker 3: you can't go on the apps for a million reasons,
Speaker 3: but if someone is like, I want to meet someone,
Speaker 3: and they're letting the people that they're getting involved with
Speaker 3: know that they have to be fully prepared and emotionally
Speaker 3: ready to come correct.
Speaker 1: Yes, and in fact, now they think about it. I
Speaker 1: had this billionaire client two years ago who came to
Speaker 1: me and I my gut was speaking to me. I
Speaker 1: was like, this person's just not ready. So I told him,
Speaker 1: I said, if you coach with me for three months,
Speaker 1: I will then take you on as a matchmaking client.
Speaker 1: But otherwise I'm not interested because you're just not ready.
Speaker 1: If I set you up on a date with your
Speaker 1: future wife tomorrow, you would bomb, like truly bomb, because
Speaker 1: you were in shambles. You're all over the place. I'm
Speaker 1: not getting a sense of readiness from you, and you're
Speaker 1: just giving off the wrong and that women wouldn't like.
Speaker 1: And he said, wow, that is so honorable. Me up,
Speaker 1: Let's do three months and then when you think I'm
Speaker 1: ready and I've graduated, let's go. And I said, okay, great,
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't have taken some otherwise.
Speaker 3: That's unbelievable. And and what because you're not a therapist
Speaker 3: and you and he's Mary now and he's married, now
Speaker 3: make congrats. So you're not a therapist, But how are
Speaker 3: you getting them ready? Like with like what you're sharing,
Speaker 3: not sharing, what you're drinking, not drinking, wearing not wearing,
Speaker 3: Like what does that look like?
Speaker 2: What does that look like?
Speaker 1: That's such a loaded question. It completely depends on the
Speaker 1: person where they're at. But I think it depends on
Speaker 1: like if there's just a lot of if we need
Speaker 1: to get rid of a lot of limited beliefs, because
Speaker 1: that's another thing too, when you come out of a
Speaker 1: situation where you might have gotten screwed over, we need
Speaker 1: to cancel out this limited belief system.
Speaker 3: Wait a second, limited belief I love these like things. Okay,
Speaker 3: so let's talk You talked about Rock. What's a limited belief?
Speaker 3: This is I love this lingo situationship. We had Rock
Speaker 3: and Star and now I have all this lingo too.
Speaker 3: It's just my own stuff. The car Now we got
Speaker 3: limited beliefs. Let's talk about that.
Speaker 1: Yes, so this is limited belief systems, our beliefs that
Speaker 1: we have created based on our personal experiences, and it's
Speaker 1: not based in truth. So someone to say, you know,
Speaker 1: all wealthy guys are eventually cheaters. That is based on
Speaker 1: their experience, and that is a limited belief system that
Speaker 1: is one hundred percent holding them back. I mean that
Speaker 1: when I sense when people tell me certain limited belief
Speaker 1: systems that they have that I know are not based
Speaker 1: in truth. I'm here to crack that down and we're
Speaker 1: going to break that block because that is going to
Speaker 1: bold you back for meeting the right person. It's like
Speaker 1: a relationship bias one hundred percent. And it's also based
Speaker 1: on your own experience. So if you've always had bad
Speaker 1: experiences with cheating, you know, then you have this limited
Speaker 1: belief system that all the men cheat. When that's not
Speaker 1: based in truth. That's just your experience or your sister's experience.
Speaker 1: So blocking those out and identifying them is huge, and
Speaker 1: I definitely help my clients identify ooh, this belief system
Speaker 1: is holding me back and dating. That's amazing. So you
Speaker 1: are a little bit of a therapist. I know you're not.
Speaker 1: You know that's you're a little bit of a therapist.
Speaker 2: I for sure.
Speaker 3: I've called this thing the pendulum theory, where I think
Speaker 3: that people go for the opposite of what they were
Speaker 3: just in, which means that the pendulum has swung the
Speaker 3: opposite direction. It doesn't mean that that's where they should be.
Speaker 3: Meaning let's say you were in something that was abusive
Speaker 3: or controlling, or someone was extremely religious.
Speaker 1: Drunk, and then you go for someone soba.
Speaker 3: Exact, okay, perfect, So you go for you're with someone
Speaker 3: who's controlling, and then you want someone who's really loose
Speaker 3: and like a warm blanket, but like or a wet blanket.
Speaker 3: But that was just like a drastic reaction versus like
Speaker 3: you getting being alone and get into your baseline to
Speaker 3: decide just what you want, versus like the opposite of that.
Speaker 3: We've done that in politics, people will vote for the
Speaker 3: anything butt candidate, anything but what that was, versus like,
Speaker 3: what do we need as a baseline?
Speaker 2: So do you find that a lot? Do do you
Speaker 2: vibe with that?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, absolutely? I Mean the craziest story I heard
Speaker 1: recently was one of my girlfriends who dated this guy,
Speaker 1: you know, married him. Unfortunately he did turn out to
Speaker 1: be an alcoholic, and now she's only dating guys to
Speaker 1: her sober and I'm like, hold on, we've swung way
Speaker 1: too far. Yes, Like, let's come back to that middle,
Speaker 1: that equilibrium of he drinks socially and he knows when
Speaker 1: it cut himself off. Like I definitely think that that happens.
Speaker 1: It's a course correction and she's limiting herself. She is
Speaker 1: and it's tough, and I think the first step is
Speaker 1: to just identify it, because once you identify it, you
Speaker 1: can course correct brilliant.
Speaker 3: So now my feeling is that with the apps with
Speaker 3: the HINT, I don't know all of them, but I
Speaker 3: know the Hinge and the Bumble and the Rye and
Speaker 3: the League and all this stuff. My feeling is that
Speaker 3: it's kind of like going to a TJ Max where
Speaker 3: you could find an LF three dollars compact, but you
Speaker 3: could find a y Cell bag. It's harder to find
Speaker 3: the y Cel bag and sometimes it's overpriced, but it
Speaker 3: is in there, and it's a hit or miss. Like
Speaker 3: do you feel you can navigate all these apps and
Speaker 3: find quality people?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? And the way I look at it is if
Speaker 1: you're on there and you're a wis All bag, then
Speaker 1: he's on there too, it's just he might be hard
Speaker 1: to find, just like you might be hard to find.
Speaker 3: Amazing, And do you believe in deep, deep investigative.
Speaker 1: Reporting when it comes to dating apps beyond right?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I've been in someone's divorce agreement. I've been
Speaker 3: at their address, not physically, but I mean in the internet.
Speaker 3: You sometimes feel and there was a man that I wouldn't
Speaker 3: go out because he wouldn't give me his last name.
Speaker 1: Now, I do think it's different for you though, because
Speaker 1: of who you are. I think that's super important to
Speaker 1: do mega dive been deep however, because your public figure, right,
Speaker 1: it's there's just a lot going on there. However, I
Speaker 1: do think that for someone who it's on a dating
Speaker 1: gap and someone who is not in the public eye,
Speaker 1: I don't think they need to go that far. I
Speaker 1: think that like, yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we because the different Well no, so let's
Speaker 3: let's let's make this a blankets more of a thing.
Speaker 3: Like the limited belief thing is a thing that you'd
Speaker 3: want to kind of understand as much about somebody else
Speaker 3: as they can understand about you in that space. So,
Speaker 3: in other words, if you've got a LinkedIn, and you've
Speaker 3: got a job and someone understands where you are and
Speaker 3: you don't know if they're in the Witness Protection program
Speaker 3: or not, then it's not you set equal or better
Speaker 3: like meaning even in the who are you space? So
Speaker 3: for me, it was so drastic that someone give me
Speaker 3: their last name. But I think someone you know, someone's
Speaker 3: gonna know, you're gonna google them. But for me, I
Speaker 3: feel like someone can know everything about me and I
Speaker 3: don't know anything about this person. So that's why I
Speaker 3: think we're trying to get I called the level playing field.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get to a baseline where there's a
Speaker 3: level playing field where I understand something about this person
Speaker 3: because they can do.
Speaker 1: You agree very right? And I yes, And I just
Speaker 1: think that again, for you, it's a little different because
Speaker 1: there's your public figure. There's privacy involved, there's also security involved.
Speaker 1: It's a different situation, yes, And I think that for
Speaker 1: someone who's not a public figure, who might be listening
Speaker 1: to this, knowing every single detail about this person before
Speaker 1: going on the date might ruin some of the organicness.
Speaker 1: And so as long as you know that like they're
Speaker 1: you know, there's some things in common and that like
Speaker 1: they're not. You know, if you look up there whatever
Speaker 1: that they don't have, it's called it worn out for them.
Speaker 1: Then I think you're okay, we don't need to go crazy.
Speaker 1: They're who they say they are.
Speaker 3: I'm saying, like, but I think that in this situation,
Speaker 3: a lot of people are not who they say they are,
Speaker 3: like you know, and it can be nuanced. But there
Speaker 3: are people that pretend they live somewhere and they don't
Speaker 3: pretend they.
Speaker 2: Have this job.
Speaker 3: I mean, there are crazy stories out there, So you know,
Speaker 3: I think that's a fine line because people think you're
Speaker 3: digging deep with an ulterior motive when you're just trying
Speaker 3: to protect yourself and be safe, right, you know.
Speaker 1: They needs the biggest thing. No, for sure, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: So I'm curious what you think about astrology.
Speaker 1: Owan, This is always fun. I think that you should
Speaker 1: take astrology with a grain of salt, because there's for
Speaker 1: someone to say that a cancer in areas is the
Speaker 1: worst match in astrology and that you should never given
Speaker 1: areas a chance. That again could be a limited belief
Speaker 1: system that you have based on your experience in dating areas.
Speaker 1: But okay, I think that you know, based on their
Speaker 1: moon and they're rising. There's so many other things that
Speaker 1: can play into that. And if we look at Indian
Speaker 1: match meeting, which they have a whole different astrology system,
Speaker 1: and they look at the birth charts and they always match.
Speaker 1: They look at the birth charts to make sure that
Speaker 1: it's compatible with each other. So I think that there's
Speaker 1: some truth to it. But I also respect anyone who's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not into astrology. It makes no sense to me,
Speaker 1: So I don't base any of my you know, match
Speaker 1: decisions based on that. Okay, that's fine too.
Speaker 3: And then do you think that people focus more on
Speaker 3: like a care about the height, a care about the
Speaker 3: hair care, but the eyes versus the nuance and the
Speaker 3: energy matches and that other stuff we're talking about. Do
Speaker 3: you think that people are focused on like the package
Speaker 3: and that's what they come in with, versus like is
Speaker 3: he kind?
Speaker 2: Is he charitable? Is he good with kids?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: How are people?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: I find that I've seen so many men make fitness
Speaker 3: their whole personality. Like they act like that's like okay,
Speaker 3: you work out, Like congrats, Like what do you do
Speaker 3: with nineteen hours a day? Like it's like people make
Speaker 3: like that. I understand fishing is a lifestyle or rock
Speaker 3: climbing is a lifestyle. But I feel like people don't
Speaker 3: get deep enough with who they are where just because
Speaker 3: you work out doesn't mean we would be compatible.
Speaker 1: Does that make any sense what I'm saying. Well, it's
Speaker 1: interesting because this reminds me of because men and women
Speaker 1: are different on this, and it reminds me of women
Speaker 1: are like demers, you know, the more like, Oh he's successful, okay,
Speaker 1: the like gets righter. Okay, Oh he's super active and
Speaker 1: works out. Okay, I'm a little bit more attracted. Men
Speaker 1: are more like on and off switches. Either they're attracted
Speaker 1: from the onset or they're just not.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a good one too. So what is that?
Speaker 2: What is a woman supposed to do about that? Or nothing?
Speaker 1: Be who you are.
Speaker 2: It is what it is.
Speaker 1: Being who you are, It is what it is. And
Speaker 1: also I think that women are a little bit more
Speaker 1: fly well on looks, you know, women are more so
Speaker 1: And this is like ten years worth of the data
Speaker 1: of women are more so interested in provider and feeling safe.
Speaker 1: Those are the two things that are that top the
Speaker 1: other things. So and men are more you know, based
Speaker 1: on attraction.
Speaker 3: All right, so I'm going to give you a crass
Speaker 3: statement that for every hot girl, there's a guy sick
Speaker 3: and tired of blanking her. And the reason I mentioned
Speaker 3: that is that I was at a table with a
Speaker 3: bunch of thirty year olds and I'll never forget it.
Speaker 3: I've mentioned it multiple times on this podcast, and twenty
Speaker 3: year olds and all the girls one was more beautiful
Speaker 3: than the next, and one was more like together, and
Speaker 3: the perfume and the lashes and the hair and the
Speaker 3: whole thing, and every one of them was like, ugh,
Speaker 3: it's the worst, and I can't meet someone, et cetera.
Speaker 3: And I was thinking, I'm twice your age and I
Speaker 3: have a better dating game. I can't believe, like there
Speaker 3: are no men out there, what are you talking about.
Speaker 3: There's a ton of men, and there are great men,
Speaker 3: like and I've had some bad experiences, but overall, like
Speaker 3: I know for a fact, there are great men. And
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a negativity vibe that girls, young
Speaker 3: girls are giving off and they're also leading with their looks.
Speaker 3: And I'm thinking, like, yes, a man wants a woman
Speaker 3: who makes an effort great and it's good to feel good,
Speaker 3: but like that's what people are leading with completely like
Speaker 3: I look good, so therefore I should have a man.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, it's just giving negative and it's giving entitled,
Speaker 3: and it's giving a lot of things that I just
Speaker 3: don't find attractive.
Speaker 1: And I love that you talk about it's giving negatives
Speaker 1: because in my book I talk about your mindset around
Speaker 1: dating is going to end up being your outcome ub dating.
Speaker 1: If you hate dating and you think that all the
Speaker 1: good guys are taken, or that the city you live
Speaker 1: in they're no goa guys club, then honey, child, you
Speaker 1: will be single forever because you literally call in energetically
Speaker 1: your thoughts in your belief systems so for you and
Speaker 1: you're like, I have more game than them when I
Speaker 1: am twice their eight. Of course it makes sense because
Speaker 1: you are positive and optimistic about dating and you're like,
Speaker 1: I got this one percent of the energy that is
Speaker 1: going to make that guy come to you no matter what.
Speaker 3: But not just the energy, also what you have going
Speaker 3: for you that you are focusing on your personality and
Speaker 3: being interesting and not just an eyelash with some lip
Speaker 3: glass walking into a hot body. Like that's why I
Speaker 3: said for every hot girl, and I don't mean to
Speaker 3: be crass. I'm just saying, the guy's gonna get bored
Speaker 3: in two seconds. You have nothing to You haven't focused
Speaker 3: on your career, your emotional intelligence. You're not having an
Speaker 3: interesting conversation, you're not captivating, you're not funny.
Speaker 1: Like.
Speaker 3: There are so many things that go into this recipe.
Speaker 3: And I've seen very attractive, like stunning people have terrible
Speaker 3: personalities because they've really been validated for their looks and
Speaker 3: they haven't honed the instrument of their personality and their
Speaker 3: intellect and their emotional intelligence and their spirituality and just
Speaker 3: being a holistic person.
Speaker 1: You know, the advice I would have for that person
Speaker 1: is become a more diverse person, like a multifaceted human,
Speaker 1: like gain riched, yes, like have like I like, work
Speaker 1: on your banter, work on educating yourself. I definitely think
Speaker 1: that if the only thing you're banking on is their
Speaker 1: looks to get you a guy, O, my dating might
Speaker 1: be really rough.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. This was a bunch of women
Speaker 3: in the beauty industry all day they think about the
Speaker 3: facial and the vitamin C and this and the anti aging,
Speaker 3: and it's like that's what they're focusing on. And you
Speaker 3: could feel it, and I'm like, I get it because
Speaker 3: the men don't want a woman that feels like she's well,
Speaker 3: so you tell me, do men want a woman that
Speaker 3: feels like she's a lot of work and to take
Speaker 3: three hours to get ready and be a half hour late?
Speaker 2: Like, do men like that?
Speaker 1: No? But men? But here's the thing. We can't speak
Speaker 1: in absolute specause one guy loves the all natural look,
Speaker 1: like no fake eyelashes, doesn't like the makeup look, loves
Speaker 1: the natural beauty look, and feels like he's gonna take
Speaker 1: home as this girl to his parents and he wants
Speaker 1: her to just look like the girl next door. There
Speaker 1: are guys that love that, and then there are guys
Speaker 1: that do like the very done up. So it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, you're not gonna make You're not gonna make everyone.
Speaker 1: You're not everyone cup of tea.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, that's great, that's business. If you try to
Speaker 3: please everybody, you please nobody exactly. But are you finding
Speaker 3: in general, like, what are most men looking for? Just
Speaker 3: as someone takes.
Speaker 1: You know, why?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: I find it to be fifty to fifty? Okay, I
Speaker 1: have found it that some it's fifty percent of the love
Speaker 1: the makeup, no makeup look, and the natural glow thing.
Speaker 1: And then I find that some guys really admire a
Speaker 1: woman who knows how to look super feminine, put on
Speaker 1: that lipstick, put on that perfume, like that she's worked
Speaker 1: worked it, that she has put in that effort and
Speaker 1: she looks glammed up and beautiful.
Speaker 3: Okayeah, I think it's fifty fifty. Okay, interesting, that's a
Speaker 3: great that's a great note. That's helpful. Wow, this is amazing,
Speaker 3: like really unbelievable takeaway.
Speaker 1: Well, we didn't talk about the microphone toss, which everyone
Speaker 1: loves this one. Wait what is this called the microphone toss?
Speaker 1: The mic toss, not the mic drop, the mic toss,
Speaker 1: the mic toss. Okay, huge, this is huge. Let's go.
Speaker 1: So when it comes to the mic toss, it means
Speaker 1: that when you were on a date, whether it's date
Speaker 1: one or date ten, always be self aware of how
Speaker 1: much you're speaking and throw back the mic totally.
Speaker 3: It gets uncomfortable when you're in the middle of a
Speaker 3: story and you've told too much.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Yes, yes.
Speaker 1: And it's for dating with new friendships old friendships, like
Speaker 1: if someone says, like, oh, how is your sibling doing?
Speaker 1: Or how is your mom doing? And you go on
Speaker 1: and on and on, and you forget to throw it
Speaker 1: back the mind and say how's your mom doing back
Speaker 1: to you? You know whatever, back to you. I think
Speaker 1: that we live in such a weird time where people
Speaker 1: are just not self aware and the microphone toss is necessary.
Speaker 1: People need to be reminded of it.
Speaker 3: And as you're telling the story, you can also do
Speaker 3: that though in the story, being like and we went there,
Speaker 3: and you must know about that because you live near there.
Speaker 3: So anyway we did that, like connecting back to the
Speaker 3: person and including them in the story, Like you know
Speaker 3: that there's a body in front of you that you're talking.
Speaker 1: To, Well, I think that. Well that just so you know,
Speaker 1: is another Is that a skill that you have Not
Speaker 1: everyone has that that they can even connect that person
Speaker 1: back into it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a whole other level.
Speaker 1: But for the normal person that doesn't have that emotional
Speaker 1: intelligence at the very lea just remember to stop talking
Speaker 1: and say how about you?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Great?
Speaker 1: It goes such a long way because I have people
Speaker 1: tell me that they went on a date and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: she just talked a lot about herself. Like, I don't
Speaker 1: I think she got home and didn't. It was probably like, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't learn anything about that person. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: you didn't throw back the mic.
Speaker 2: By the way, I had that.
Speaker 3: I had a person that talked about a specific business
Speaker 3: issue that they were going through and I just met them.
Speaker 3: It's the first and they kept going back to this
Speaker 3: one dilemma at work. But I mean easily seventeen times
Speaker 3: did they bring it up. And I was like I
Speaker 3: wanted to off myself. I couldn't take it anymore. I
Speaker 3: didn't want to hear about this fucking work dilemma. And
Speaker 3: I didn't even know this person. I felt like I
Speaker 3: was invested and they were so narcissistic to keep talking
Speaker 3: about this thing, and I just like, it's like, you
Speaker 3: shouldn't go then. If you have a commercial a crisis
Speaker 3: that's so bad at work that you are consumed by,
Speaker 3: you should not be going on the date one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Like if you have a.
Speaker 3: Family issue or someone sick, God forbid, or something's wrong
Speaker 3: like you got to take care of your own things,
Speaker 3: should be going out and dumping a story that's so
Speaker 3: inside baseball wasn't something I could relate to. It wasn't
Speaker 3: like I've been feeling bad about myself. I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I could relate to that, you know. It was just
Speaker 3: like a full Joe and Bob from software department. I
Speaker 3: was like, what the fuck? Like anyways, scrat, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like, I know exactly you mean. It's like canceled the
Speaker 1: date for both of our instake because if you just
Speaker 1: show up and you're just dumping on me a bunch
Speaker 1: of useless information that I have no idea how to
Speaker 1: relate to it, it's just not gonna go wever either.
Speaker 3: Right right, It was so exactly, it's like so inside
Speaker 3: so yeah, and then I guess that's a note of it,
Speaker 3: you know, don't get too inside baseball, like it should
Speaker 3: be something that's like tonally what someone else can understand.
Speaker 2: Yes, unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Okay, then I guess really just sweep through, Well, we
Speaker 3: don't have to. And you said politics, religion, those are
Speaker 3: sort of obvious. You got to find out. Like, like
Speaker 3: I literally said to someone the other day, some people
Speaker 3: will be like put Christian in the top of their description,
Speaker 3: and it's just like, so do they are they expecting
Speaker 3: me to go to church?
Speaker 1: Regularly.
Speaker 3: How often do they go to church? I do think
Speaker 3: these things are important because you know, that's the stuff.
Speaker 3: You meet someone hot and they're great, but if they're
Speaker 3: wanting you I met someone that every single every twice
Speaker 3: a week goes to church. If they're expecting me to
Speaker 3: do that, I'm not going to do that. I don't
Speaker 3: think my daughter is going to do that. So I
Speaker 3: wanted to, like know what's realistic about it, because you
Speaker 3: have your own values, your own beliefs, and you know
Speaker 3: you're not looking to be pulled into someone else's At
Speaker 3: this age, probably.
Speaker 1: No, one hundred percent. And that goes into lifestyle. If
Speaker 1: you go to church every single Sunday and you want
Speaker 1: someone to do that with you and you don't want
Speaker 1: to do that, that's not lifestyle compatibility. There's only one
Speaker 1: way to find out is to ask.
Speaker 3: Yes, amazeing, Wow, you're very it's wonderful. It's great advice.
Speaker 3: And what's really great is that it's completely different than
Speaker 3: any other advice. So like, I'm so happy for the
Speaker 3: listener because they're just getting such a popery and a
Speaker 3: puzzle of like a toolkit that they can choose what
Speaker 3: works for them. I think this is really amazing and helpful.
Speaker 2: No want to do to the faster, to walk to dock,
Speaker 2: to the after