1
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,480
Speaker 1: Hi, how are you. I'm doing good. How are you?

2
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:16,680
Speaker 2: I'm good?

3
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,400
Speaker 3: This is Talia we met. She is an author, a

4
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,920
Speaker 3: dating coach, and a matchmaker.

5
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:22,640
Speaker 1: Hello.

6
00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,840
Speaker 3: Let's talk about the burner method, which I've talked about before.

7
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,680
Speaker 3: Let's talk about wanting to have things at different temperatures.

8
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 3: I say, like, I believe that in the beginning, when

9
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,239
Speaker 3: you're dating, you wanna if you're not having a like

10
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,040
Speaker 3: if you were paying a lot of money for a matchmaker,

11
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,479
Speaker 3: you're not playing around and doesn't you don't need a

12
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,680
Speaker 3: matchmaker to find someone that you can sleep with.

13
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,040
Speaker 2: But I mean, if you're.

14
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,919
Speaker 3: A person that's like getting out there and does ultimately

15
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:50,000
Speaker 3: want to meet someone, I've always felt that the burner method,

16
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,320
Speaker 3: meaning you have something on boil, something on sim or something,

17
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,200
Speaker 3: it's taken off like you got a bunch of things

18
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,480
Speaker 3: cooking at the same time, so you see what really

19
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 3: works and you can turn the whole stove off and

20
00:00:59,360 --> 00:00:59,840
Speaker 3: not do anything.

21
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,280
Speaker 2: You can get full. I think.

22
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,319
Speaker 3: But why I'm asking you that is what if somebody

23
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,320
Speaker 3: presents themselves that could fit into for the time being

24
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,720
Speaker 3: until you meet someone the fun category or the friend

25
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,240
Speaker 3: filler category, or the friends of benefits or an adventure

26
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,280
Speaker 3: guy that's really fun is going to want to go

27
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,560
Speaker 3: take you on a vacation, but it's never going to

28
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,480
Speaker 3: be the real thing. Like where are you on that

29
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,080
Speaker 3: filler if you're not expecting it to be the real thing?

30
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,200
Speaker 2: You know, the connective tissue or do you just be alone?

31
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:27,800
Speaker 2: Sit home?

32
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,640
Speaker 3: Because I also think those can make you feel a

33
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,679
Speaker 3: little better in the meantime if you have a self

34
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,080
Speaker 3: control to not get into those relationships.

35
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,039
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I was about to say, because you

36
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,119
Speaker 1: have to know yourself. Well, I'll have to know can

37
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,759
Speaker 1: I do this and not fall for this person knowing

38
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,440
Speaker 1: that this is not the right car to get in.

39
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,200
Speaker 1: So it's like if you're really good at having fillers,

40
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,400
Speaker 1: and you're good at like, okay, this is just a

41
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 1: fun time, I'm being fully the president with it, but

42
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,440
Speaker 1: I know this isn't my end. I'll be all and

43
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,640
Speaker 1: you have enough self control of your emotions to know that,

44
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 1: and you can just hop into and go on a

45
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,880
Speaker 1: vacation and then come back and know that like that

46
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,160
Speaker 1: that's what that was, so be it. And so I

47
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,920
Speaker 1: think this says not I don't think everyone can do that.

48
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,560
Speaker 1: So it's about knowing yourself.

49
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 3: Well, I believe that people get jobs when they have jobs,

50
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,760
Speaker 3: people are sitting being desperate. They get men when they

51
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,600
Speaker 3: have I don't mean married, but when you've got game

52
00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 3: and you got your energy going to your point of

53
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,160
Speaker 3: energy match, that's when you're attracting. So I think there

54
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,480
Speaker 3: is a fine line there where woman needs to you know,

55
00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,640
Speaker 3: not seem so sitting home waiting for that guy, and

56
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,400
Speaker 3: then their energy gives desperation because they've got only one

57
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,360
Speaker 3: pot on the stove. So I believe there should be

58
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,320
Speaker 3: some energetic shifting and the planets moving in circles until

59
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,560
Speaker 3: you find someone in each person. And even if some

60
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 3: people you don't know if they're right yet, but you

61
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,200
Speaker 3: should be giving each person attention and making each person

62
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,400
Speaker 3: feel special until you figure out what you're doing.

63
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,480
Speaker 2: So where are you on all that?

64
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,400
Speaker 1: I totally agree with you. I think that sounds great.

65
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,800
Speaker 1: Here's the only thing I will say, I just so

66
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,639
Speaker 1: no one gets confused. Okay, if you were in because

67
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,120
Speaker 1: I've seen this so many times where someone will get

68
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,440
Speaker 1: too far down the road and it will turn into

69
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,480
Speaker 1: a situationship.

70
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,800
Speaker 2: A situationship.

71
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:13,320
Speaker 1: Yes, we were in a situationship, and there's no real commitment,

72
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,240
Speaker 1: but that person's taking up all their time. Then now

73
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,360
Speaker 1: you're energetically blocking you're mister Wright from coming in.

74
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,480
Speaker 3: I agree, there's a very it's a seesaw. You have

75
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,040
Speaker 3: to have the right balance because otherwise you now you've

76
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,800
Speaker 3: made a commitment on the set that weekend to go

77
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,560
Speaker 3: with that person, and now you're not open for dates

78
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,960
Speaker 3: with the other people. So so how do you find

79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 3: that balance or it's just you just got to find

80
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:33,480
Speaker 3: that balance.

81
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,960
Speaker 1: You just got to find that balance.

82
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get what you're saying.

83
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,160
Speaker 1: Trial and error, you know.

84
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 3: And and let's talk about the importance of being alone.

85
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,480
Speaker 3: Let's talk about your setting people up. You are getting

86
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,480
Speaker 3: paid a lot of money. Now, I believe that My

87
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,680
Speaker 3: theory is that some people are probably coming to you

88
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,240
Speaker 3: and they kind of just want you to like give

89
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,200
Speaker 3: them like insta person like you're almost supposed to do

90
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,000
Speaker 3: all the work, but they're not really available and don't

91
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,000
Speaker 3: really want to like do what they said. That's one

92
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,240
Speaker 3: thing that I believe that happens. And then I would

93
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,320
Speaker 3: believe that women probably it's scared money. They come in

94
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,040
Speaker 3: and they want you to like solve all their problems,

95
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,800
Speaker 3: but they're not really ready they just want you to

96
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 3: make it like good for them, Like if someone's coming

97
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:17,360
Speaker 3: out of a relationship, for example, or someone has never

98
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,120
Speaker 3: been alone in their life. You know, I hear a

99
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,600
Speaker 3: lot of women about that, like they just are uncomfortable

100
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,800
Speaker 3: being alone. How does someone have to show up to

101
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,400
Speaker 3: you and to the apps and to the dating process

102
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,080
Speaker 3: if they really want to meet someone, Because we talked

103
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,600
Speaker 3: on here about someone has to be like confident love

104
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,680
Speaker 3: themselves and the person they would want to date, Like

105
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,440
Speaker 3: they have to be the whole person versus the reaction

106
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,520
Speaker 3: to the last person or giving desperation or sadness or

107
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 3: going through the breakup. Like where does someone need to

108
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,360
Speaker 3: come in to go looking for this position?

109
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,320
Speaker 1: Rare a rate? I well, there's a for the record,

110
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 1: because I don't just work with anyone. There has to

111
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,800
Speaker 1: be There's so many things that I go through for

112
00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:55,760
Speaker 1: myself to figure out is that a partnership I want

113
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,719
Speaker 1: to be in as far as taking on a client.

114
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,520
Speaker 1: But I think the biggest thing for any when listening

115
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,159
Speaker 1: to this, that's interesting, Oh yeah, because you want to

116
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,160
Speaker 1: work at people you like, people that you genuinely vibe with.

117
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,719
Speaker 3: Well like, but also if you think that they're real,

118
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,560
Speaker 3: like in that they really get that's what I'm saying.

119
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,320
Speaker 3: That's where we're getting.

120
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,760
Speaker 1: Okay, So okay, yeah, I was gonna say the state

121
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:17,159
Speaker 1: of readiness. I have to hear I'm ready to meet

122
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,719
Speaker 1: that right person. I have done some of the work.

123
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,120
Speaker 1: I am fully available. You know. Like people that come

124
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,839
Speaker 1: to me that just got out of a ten year

125
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,720
Speaker 1: situation and the breakup happened yesterday, I'm like, I think

126
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,880
Speaker 1: you need a little bit of time to heal. This

127
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 1: happened yesterday and you haven't experienced being single in ten years.

128
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,560
Speaker 1: Like let's give it. Let's give it at least a

129
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,960
Speaker 1: couple of weeks, you know. So I think the state

130
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,760
Speaker 1: of readiness, Yeah, I think that's a big part of it.

131
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,719
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I like in what you do to.

132
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,840
Speaker 3: You're placing a CEO at Apple, Like if you are

133
00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,800
Speaker 3: going to bring someone in for that job and they're

134
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,080
Speaker 3: going to like not know how to use a stapler

135
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,000
Speaker 3: on the first day and like show up late, you're

136
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,920
Speaker 3: going to look bad. So I feel like what you're

137
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,960
Speaker 3: saying is like it's a commitment, like a job as

138
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,560
Speaker 3: a commitment. So if someone's going to come in, they

139
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,480
Speaker 3: have to be willing to back it up. And if

140
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,160
Speaker 3: someone's going to go on the apps, listen, you can

141
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,520
Speaker 3: go on the apps to have sex. I'm not saying

142
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:12,919
Speaker 3: you can't go on the apps for a million reasons,

143
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,000
Speaker 3: but if someone is like, I want to meet someone,

144
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,159
Speaker 3: and they're letting the people that they're getting involved with

145
00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:21,240
Speaker 3: know that they have to be fully prepared and emotionally

146
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,560
Speaker 3: ready to come correct.

147
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,080
Speaker 1: Yes, and in fact, now they think about it. I

148
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,760
Speaker 1: had this billionaire client two years ago who came to

149
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,400
Speaker 1: me and I my gut was speaking to me. I

150
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,440
Speaker 1: was like, this person's just not ready. So I told him,

151
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 1: I said, if you coach with me for three months,

152
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,400
Speaker 1: I will then take you on as a matchmaking client.

153
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,920
Speaker 1: But otherwise I'm not interested because you're just not ready.

154
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,280
Speaker 1: If I set you up on a date with your

155
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,240
Speaker 1: future wife tomorrow, you would bomb, like truly bomb, because

156
00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,479
Speaker 1: you were in shambles. You're all over the place. I'm

157
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,880
Speaker 1: not getting a sense of readiness from you, and you're

158
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,400
Speaker 1: just giving off the wrong and that women wouldn't like.

159
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,480
Speaker 1: And he said, wow, that is so honorable. Me up,

160
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,040
Speaker 1: Let's do three months and then when you think I'm

161
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,320
Speaker 1: ready and I've graduated, let's go. And I said, okay, great,

162
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,040
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't have taken some otherwise.

163
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,040
Speaker 3: That's unbelievable. And and what because you're not a therapist

164
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,200
Speaker 3: and you and he's Mary now and he's married, now

165
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,680
Speaker 3: make congrats. So you're not a therapist, But how are

166
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 3: you getting them ready? Like with like what you're sharing,

167
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,840
Speaker 3: not sharing, what you're drinking, not drinking, wearing not wearing,

168
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,320
Speaker 3: Like what does that look like?

169
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 2: What does that look like?

170
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,840
Speaker 1: That's such a loaded question. It completely depends on the

171
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,680
Speaker 1: person where they're at. But I think it depends on

172
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,720
Speaker 1: like if there's just a lot of if we need

173
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,800
Speaker 1: to get rid of a lot of limited beliefs, because

174
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,160
Speaker 1: that's another thing too, when you come out of a

175
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,840
Speaker 1: situation where you might have gotten screwed over, we need

176
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 1: to cancel out this limited belief system.

177
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 3: Wait a second, limited belief I love these like things. Okay,

178
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,600
Speaker 3: so let's talk You talked about Rock. What's a limited belief?

179
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,920
Speaker 3: This is I love this lingo situationship. We had Rock

180
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,760
Speaker 3: and Star and now I have all this lingo too.

181
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,560
Speaker 3: It's just my own stuff. The car Now we got

182
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,040
Speaker 3: limited beliefs. Let's talk about that.

183
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,360
Speaker 1: Yes, so this is limited belief systems, our beliefs that

184
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,400
Speaker 1: we have created based on our personal experiences, and it's

185
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:06,280
Speaker 1: not based in truth. So someone to say, you know,

186
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,800
Speaker 1: all wealthy guys are eventually cheaters. That is based on

187
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,640
Speaker 1: their experience, and that is a limited belief system that

188
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,680
Speaker 1: is one hundred percent holding them back. I mean that

189
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,960
Speaker 1: when I sense when people tell me certain limited belief

190
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,320
Speaker 1: systems that they have that I know are not based

191
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,760
Speaker 1: in truth. I'm here to crack that down and we're

192
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,120
Speaker 1: going to break that block because that is going to

193
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 1: bold you back for meeting the right person. It's like

194
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,000
Speaker 1: a relationship bias one hundred percent. And it's also based

195
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,640
Speaker 1: on your own experience. So if you've always had bad

196
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 1: experiences with cheating, you know, then you have this limited

197
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,320
Speaker 1: belief system that all the men cheat. When that's not

198
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,880
Speaker 1: based in truth. That's just your experience or your sister's experience.

199
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,840
Speaker 1: So blocking those out and identifying them is huge, and

200
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,080
Speaker 1: I definitely help my clients identify ooh, this belief system

201
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,600
Speaker 1: is holding me back and dating. That's amazing. So you

202
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,360
Speaker 1: are a little bit of a therapist. I know you're not.

203
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,480
Speaker 1: You know that's you're a little bit of a therapist.

204
00:08:58,800 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 2: I for sure.

205
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,920
Speaker 3: I've called this thing the pendulum theory, where I think

206
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:08,520
Speaker 3: that people go for the opposite of what they were

207
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:10,839
Speaker 3: just in, which means that the pendulum has swung the

208
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,480
Speaker 3: opposite direction. It doesn't mean that that's where they should be.

209
00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,760
Speaker 3: Meaning let's say you were in something that was abusive

210
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,560
Speaker 3: or controlling, or someone was extremely religious.

211
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,920
Speaker 1: Drunk, and then you go for someone soba.

212
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:25,080
Speaker 3: Exact, okay, perfect, So you go for you're with someone

213
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,680
Speaker 3: who's controlling, and then you want someone who's really loose

214
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,280
Speaker 3: and like a warm blanket, but like or a wet blanket.

215
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,600
Speaker 3: But that was just like a drastic reaction versus like

216
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,600
Speaker 3: you getting being alone and get into your baseline to

217
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,680
Speaker 3: decide just what you want, versus like the opposite of that.

218
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,880
Speaker 3: We've done that in politics, people will vote for the

219
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 3: anything butt candidate, anything but what that was, versus like,

220
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,280
Speaker 3: what do we need as a baseline?

221
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,080
Speaker 2: So do you find that a lot? Do do you

222
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,320
Speaker 2: vibe with that?

223
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:55,080
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, absolutely? I Mean the craziest story I heard

224
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,800
Speaker 1: recently was one of my girlfriends who dated this guy,

225
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,240
Speaker 1: you know, married him. Unfortunately he did turn out to

226
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,599
Speaker 1: be an alcoholic, and now she's only dating guys to

227
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,560
Speaker 1: her sober and I'm like, hold on, we've swung way

228
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,560
Speaker 1: too far. Yes, Like, let's come back to that middle,

229
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,199
Speaker 1: that equilibrium of he drinks socially and he knows when

230
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,360
Speaker 1: it cut himself off. Like I definitely think that that happens.

231
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:19,320
Speaker 1: It's a course correction and she's limiting herself. She is

232
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,760
Speaker 1: and it's tough, and I think the first step is

233
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,480
Speaker 1: to just identify it, because once you identify it, you

234
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,120
Speaker 1: can course correct brilliant.

235
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:42,080
Speaker 3: So now my feeling is that with the apps with

236
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,560
Speaker 3: the HINT, I don't know all of them, but I

237
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,320
Speaker 3: know the Hinge and the Bumble and the Rye and

238
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,160
Speaker 3: the League and all this stuff. My feeling is that

239
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,320
Speaker 3: it's kind of like going to a TJ Max where

240
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,040
Speaker 3: you could find an LF three dollars compact, but you

241
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,120
Speaker 3: could find a y Cell bag. It's harder to find

242
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,719
Speaker 3: the y Cel bag and sometimes it's overpriced, but it

243
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,400
Speaker 3: is in there, and it's a hit or miss. Like

244
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 3: do you feel you can navigate all these apps and

245
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,600
Speaker 3: find quality people?

246
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,480
Speaker 1: Absolutely? And the way I look at it is if

247
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,760
Speaker 1: you're on there and you're a wis All bag, then

248
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,200
Speaker 1: he's on there too, it's just he might be hard

249
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,880
Speaker 1: to find, just like you might be hard to find.

250
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:22,280
Speaker 3: Amazing, And do you believe in deep, deep investigative.

251
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,880
Speaker 1: Reporting when it comes to dating apps beyond right?

252
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I've been in someone's divorce agreement. I've been

253
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,559
Speaker 3: at their address, not physically, but I mean in the internet.

254
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,160
Speaker 3: You sometimes feel and there was a man that I wouldn't

255
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,640
Speaker 3: go out because he wouldn't give me his last name.

256
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,920
Speaker 1: Now, I do think it's different for you though, because

257
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,280
Speaker 1: of who you are. I think that's super important to

258
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:46,319
Speaker 1: do mega dive been deep however, because your public figure, right,

259
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,080
Speaker 1: it's there's just a lot going on there. However, I

260
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,600
Speaker 1: do think that for someone who it's on a dating

261
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,720
Speaker 1: gap and someone who is not in the public eye,

262
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,280
Speaker 1: I don't think they need to go that far. I

263
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,400
Speaker 1: think that like, yeah.

264
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,560
Speaker 2: Okay, I understand what you're saying.

265
00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we because the different Well no, so let's

266
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,040
Speaker 3: let's let's make this a blankets more of a thing.

267
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,080
Speaker 3: Like the limited belief thing is a thing that you'd

268
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,600
Speaker 3: want to kind of understand as much about somebody else

269
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,360
Speaker 3: as they can understand about you in that space. So,

270
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,880
Speaker 3: in other words, if you've got a LinkedIn, and you've

271
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,400
Speaker 3: got a job and someone understands where you are and

272
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,520
Speaker 3: you don't know if they're in the Witness Protection program

273
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,199
Speaker 3: or not, then it's not you set equal or better

274
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,840
Speaker 3: like meaning even in the who are you space? So

275
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,839
Speaker 3: for me, it was so drastic that someone give me

276
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 3: their last name. But I think someone you know, someone's

277
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,680
Speaker 3: gonna know, you're gonna google them. But for me, I

278
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:39,880
Speaker 3: feel like someone can know everything about me and I

279
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 3: don't know anything about this person. So that's why I

280
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,400
Speaker 3: think we're trying to get I called the level playing field.

281
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,360
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get to a baseline where there's a

282
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,960
Speaker 3: level playing field where I understand something about this person

283
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,280
Speaker 3: because they can do.

284
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,440
Speaker 1: You agree very right? And I yes, And I just

285
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,559
Speaker 1: think that again, for you, it's a little different because

286
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:59,640
Speaker 1: there's your public figure. There's privacy involved, there's also security involved.

287
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,480
Speaker 1: It's a different situation, yes, And I think that for

288
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 1: someone who's not a public figure, who might be listening

289
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,440
Speaker 1: to this, knowing every single detail about this person before

290
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,920
Speaker 1: going on the date might ruin some of the organicness.

291
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,280
Speaker 1: And so as long as you know that like they're

292
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,760
Speaker 1: you know, there's some things in common and that like

293
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 1: they're not. You know, if you look up there whatever

294
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,200
Speaker 1: that they don't have, it's called it worn out for them.

295
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,040
Speaker 1: Then I think you're okay, we don't need to go crazy.

296
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,319
Speaker 1: They're who they say they are.

297
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,400
Speaker 3: I'm saying, like, but I think that in this situation,

298
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,320
Speaker 3: a lot of people are not who they say they are,

299
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,160
Speaker 3: like you know, and it can be nuanced. But there

300
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,480
Speaker 3: are people that pretend they live somewhere and they don't

301
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:36,920
Speaker 3: pretend they.

302
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:37,240
Speaker 2: Have this job.

303
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 3: I mean, there are crazy stories out there, So you know,

304
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,160
Speaker 3: I think that's a fine line because people think you're

305
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,160
Speaker 3: digging deep with an ulterior motive when you're just trying

306
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,400
Speaker 3: to protect yourself and be safe, right, you know.

307
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,920
Speaker 1: They needs the biggest thing. No, for sure, Yeah, for sure.

308
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,280
Speaker 2: So I'm curious what you think about astrology.

309
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,680
Speaker 1: Owan, This is always fun. I think that you should

310
00:13:57,679 --> 00:14:01,680
Speaker 1: take astrology with a grain of salt, because there's for

311
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 1: someone to say that a cancer in areas is the

312
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,560
Speaker 1: worst match in astrology and that you should never given

313
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,880
Speaker 1: areas a chance. That again could be a limited belief

314
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,440
Speaker 1: system that you have based on your experience in dating areas.

315
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,760
Speaker 1: But okay, I think that you know, based on their

316
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,240
Speaker 1: moon and they're rising. There's so many other things that

317
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 1: can play into that. And if we look at Indian

318
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,240
Speaker 1: match meeting, which they have a whole different astrology system,

319
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,600
Speaker 1: and they look at the birth charts and they always match.

320
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,320
Speaker 1: They look at the birth charts to make sure that

321
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 1: it's compatible with each other. So I think that there's

322
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,720
Speaker 1: some truth to it. But I also respect anyone who's like,

323
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,000
Speaker 1: I'm not into astrology. It makes no sense to me,

324
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,960
Speaker 1: So I don't base any of my you know, match

325
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,120
Speaker 1: decisions based on that. Okay, that's fine too.

326
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 3: And then do you think that people focus more on

327
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,920
Speaker 3: like a care about the height, a care about the

328
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,400
Speaker 3: hair care, but the eyes versus the nuance and the

329
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,640
Speaker 3: energy matches and that other stuff we're talking about. Do

330
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,600
Speaker 3: you think that people are focused on like the package

331
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,240
Speaker 3: and that's what they come in with, versus like is

332
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:00,840
Speaker 3: he kind?

333
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,920
Speaker 2: Is he charitable? Is he good with kids?

334
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:03,120
Speaker 1: Like?

335
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 2: How are people?

336
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:05,120
Speaker 1: You know?

337
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,960
Speaker 3: I find that I've seen so many men make fitness

338
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,520
Speaker 3: their whole personality. Like they act like that's like okay,

339
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,160
Speaker 3: you work out, Like congrats, Like what do you do

340
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,240
Speaker 3: with nineteen hours a day? Like it's like people make

341
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 3: like that. I understand fishing is a lifestyle or rock

342
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:23,720
Speaker 3: climbing is a lifestyle. But I feel like people don't

343
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,320
Speaker 3: get deep enough with who they are where just because

344
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,240
Speaker 3: you work out doesn't mean we would be compatible.

345
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,280
Speaker 1: Does that make any sense what I'm saying. Well, it's

346
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,800
Speaker 1: interesting because this reminds me of because men and women

347
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,880
Speaker 1: are different on this, and it reminds me of women

348
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,560
Speaker 1: are like demers, you know, the more like, Oh he's successful, okay,

349
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,160
Speaker 1: the like gets righter. Okay, Oh he's super active and

350
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,400
Speaker 1: works out. Okay, I'm a little bit more attracted. Men

351
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 1: are more like on and off switches. Either they're attracted

352
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,600
Speaker 1: from the onset or they're just not.

353
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,400
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a good one too. So what is that?

354
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,440
Speaker 2: What is a woman supposed to do about that? Or nothing?

355
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 1: Be who you are.

356
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 2: It is what it is.

357
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,560
Speaker 1: Being who you are, It is what it is. And

358
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,720
Speaker 1: also I think that women are a little bit more

359
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 1: fly well on looks, you know, women are more so

360
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,600
Speaker 1: And this is like ten years worth of the data

361
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,520
Speaker 1: of women are more so interested in provider and feeling safe.

362
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,800
Speaker 1: Those are the two things that are that top the

363
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,600
Speaker 1: other things. So and men are more you know, based

364
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,240
Speaker 1: on attraction.

365
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,640
Speaker 3: All right, so I'm going to give you a crass

366
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:24,160
Speaker 3: statement that for every hot girl, there's a guy sick

367
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,960
Speaker 3: and tired of blanking her. And the reason I mentioned

368
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 3: that is that I was at a table with a

369
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,120
Speaker 3: bunch of thirty year olds and I'll never forget it.

370
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,480
Speaker 3: I've mentioned it multiple times on this podcast, and twenty

371
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,040
Speaker 3: year olds and all the girls one was more beautiful

372
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 3: than the next, and one was more like together, and

373
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 3: the perfume and the lashes and the hair and the

374
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,960
Speaker 3: whole thing, and every one of them was like, ugh,

375
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,000
Speaker 3: it's the worst, and I can't meet someone, et cetera.

376
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,120
Speaker 3: And I was thinking, I'm twice your age and I

377
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 3: have a better dating game. I can't believe, like there

378
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 3: are no men out there, what are you talking about.

379
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,280
Speaker 3: There's a ton of men, and there are great men,

380
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 3: like and I've had some bad experiences, but overall, like

381
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 3: I know for a fact, there are great men. And

382
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a negativity vibe that girls, young

383
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 3: girls are giving off and they're also leading with their looks.

384
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 3: And I'm thinking, like, yes, a man wants a woman

385
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 3: who makes an effort great and it's good to feel good,

386
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 3: but like that's what people are leading with completely like

387
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,040
Speaker 3: I look good, so therefore I should have a man.

388
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,640
Speaker 3: And I'm like, it's just giving negative and it's giving entitled,

389
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,159
Speaker 3: and it's giving a lot of things that I just

390
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,119
Speaker 3: don't find attractive.

391
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,040
Speaker 1: And I love that you talk about it's giving negatives

392
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,119
Speaker 1: because in my book I talk about your mindset around

393
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 1: dating is going to end up being your outcome ub dating.

394
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,199
Speaker 1: If you hate dating and you think that all the

395
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 1: good guys are taken, or that the city you live

396
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 1: in they're no goa guys club, then honey, child, you

397
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:45,120
Speaker 1: will be single forever because you literally call in energetically

398
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,919
Speaker 1: your thoughts in your belief systems so for you and

399
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 1: you're like, I have more game than them when I

400
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 1: am twice their eight. Of course it makes sense because

401
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,560
Speaker 1: you are positive and optimistic about dating and you're like,

402
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,280
Speaker 1: I got this one percent of the energy that is

403
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,879
Speaker 1: going to make that guy come to you no matter what.

404
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 3: But not just the energy, also what you have going

405
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 3: for you that you are focusing on your personality and

406
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 3: being interesting and not just an eyelash with some lip

407
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,440
Speaker 3: glass walking into a hot body. Like that's why I

408
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 3: said for every hot girl, and I don't mean to

409
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 3: be crass. I'm just saying, the guy's gonna get bored

410
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,879
Speaker 3: in two seconds. You have nothing to You haven't focused

411
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 3: on your career, your emotional intelligence. You're not having an

412
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 3: interesting conversation, you're not captivating, you're not funny.

413
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 1: Like.

414
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 3: There are so many things that go into this recipe.

415
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 3: And I've seen very attractive, like stunning people have terrible

416
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:33,639
Speaker 3: personalities because they've really been validated for their looks and

417
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 3: they haven't honed the instrument of their personality and their

418
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 3: intellect and their emotional intelligence and their spirituality and just

419
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,399
Speaker 3: being a holistic person.

420
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 1: You know, the advice I would have for that person

421
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,160
Speaker 1: is become a more diverse person, like a multifaceted human,

422
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 1: like gain riched, yes, like have like I like, work

423
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,360
Speaker 1: on your banter, work on educating yourself. I definitely think

424
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 1: that if the only thing you're banking on is their

425
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: looks to get you a guy, O, my dating might

426
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,400
Speaker 1: be really rough.

427
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. This was a bunch of women

428
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,439
Speaker 3: in the beauty industry all day they think about the

429
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 3: facial and the vitamin C and this and the anti aging,

430
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,399
Speaker 3: and it's like that's what they're focusing on. And you

431
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,640
Speaker 3: could feel it, and I'm like, I get it because

432
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 3: the men don't want a woman that feels like she's well,

433
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,639
Speaker 3: so you tell me, do men want a woman that

434
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 3: feels like she's a lot of work and to take

435
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 3: three hours to get ready and be a half hour late?

436
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 2: Like, do men like that?

437
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 1: No? But men? But here's the thing. We can't speak

438
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 1: in absolute specause one guy loves the all natural look,

439
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 1: like no fake eyelashes, doesn't like the makeup look, loves

440
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: the natural beauty look, and feels like he's gonna take

441
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 1: home as this girl to his parents and he wants

442
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 1: her to just look like the girl next door. There

443
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 1: are guys that love that, and then there are guys

444
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 1: that do like the very done up. So it's kind

445
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 1: of like, you're not gonna make You're not gonna make everyone.

446
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 1: You're not everyone cup of tea.

447
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 3: Right, Well, that's great, that's business. If you try to

448
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 3: please everybody, you please nobody exactly. But are you finding

449
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,919
Speaker 3: in general, like, what are most men looking for? Just

450
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 3: as someone takes.

451
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:03,959
Speaker 1: You know, why?

452
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 2: What?

453
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 1: I find it to be fifty to fifty? Okay, I

454
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 1: have found it that some it's fifty percent of the love

455
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 1: the makeup, no makeup look, and the natural glow thing.

456
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 1: And then I find that some guys really admire a

457
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: woman who knows how to look super feminine, put on

458
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 1: that lipstick, put on that perfume, like that she's worked

459
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 1: worked it, that she has put in that effort and

460
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 1: she looks glammed up and beautiful.

461
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 3: Okayeah, I think it's fifty fifty. Okay, interesting, that's a

462
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:34,440
Speaker 3: great that's a great note. That's helpful. Wow, this is amazing,

463
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 3: like really unbelievable takeaway.

464
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: Well, we didn't talk about the microphone toss, which everyone

465
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 1: loves this one. Wait what is this called the microphone toss?

466
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 1: The mic toss, not the mic drop, the mic toss,

467
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,359
Speaker 1: the mic toss. Okay, huge, this is huge. Let's go.

468
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: So when it comes to the mic toss, it means

469
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 1: that when you were on a date, whether it's date

470
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 1: one or date ten, always be self aware of how

471
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 1: much you're speaking and throw back the mic totally.

472
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,119
Speaker 3: It gets uncomfortable when you're in the middle of a

473
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 3: story and you've told too much.

474
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Yes, yes.

475
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 1: And it's for dating with new friendships old friendships, like

476
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 1: if someone says, like, oh, how is your sibling doing?

477
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: Or how is your mom doing? And you go on

478
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,920
Speaker 1: and on and on, and you forget to throw it

479
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: back the mind and say how's your mom doing back

480
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 1: to you? You know whatever, back to you. I think

481
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 1: that we live in such a weird time where people

482
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: are just not self aware and the microphone toss is necessary.

483
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: People need to be reminded of it.

484
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 3: And as you're telling the story, you can also do

485
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: that though in the story, being like and we went there,

486
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 3: and you must know about that because you live near there.

487
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 3: So anyway we did that, like connecting back to the

488
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 3: person and including them in the story, Like you know

489
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: that there's a body in front of you that you're talking.

490
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 1: To, Well, I think that. Well that just so you know,

491
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: is another Is that a skill that you have Not

492
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 1: everyone has that that they can even connect that person

493
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: back into it.

494
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a whole other level.

495
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,640
Speaker 1: But for the normal person that doesn't have that emotional

496
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: intelligence at the very lea just remember to stop talking

497
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: and say how about you?

498
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 2: Right?

499
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: Right?

500
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 2: Great?

501
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: It goes such a long way because I have people

502
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 1: tell me that they went on a date and you're like, yeah,

503
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: she just talked a lot about herself. Like, I don't

504
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: I think she got home and didn't. It was probably like, oh,

505
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 1: I didn't learn anything about that person. It's like, well,

506
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: you didn't throw back the mic.

507
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 2: By the way, I had that.

508
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 3: I had a person that talked about a specific business

509
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 3: issue that they were going through and I just met them.

510
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 3: It's the first and they kept going back to this

511
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 3: one dilemma at work. But I mean easily seventeen times

512
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,719
Speaker 3: did they bring it up. And I was like I

513
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 3: wanted to off myself. I couldn't take it anymore. I

514
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 3: didn't want to hear about this fucking work dilemma. And

515
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 3: I didn't even know this person. I felt like I

516
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 3: was invested and they were so narcissistic to keep talking

517
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 3: about this thing, and I just like, it's like, you

518
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 3: shouldn't go then. If you have a commercial a crisis

519
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 3: that's so bad at work that you are consumed by,

520
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 3: you should not be going on the date one hundred percent.

521
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: Like if you have a.

522
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 3: Family issue or someone sick, God forbid, or something's wrong

523
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 3: like you got to take care of your own things,

524
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 3: should be going out and dumping a story that's so

525
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: inside baseball wasn't something I could relate to. It wasn't

526
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 3: like I've been feeling bad about myself. I'd be like, oh,

527
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 3: I could relate to that, you know. It was just

528
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,959
Speaker 3: like a full Joe and Bob from software department. I

529
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 3: was like, what the fuck? Like anyways, scrat, you know

530
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 3: what I mean?

531
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 1: Like, I know exactly you mean. It's like canceled the

532
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 1: date for both of our instake because if you just

533
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: show up and you're just dumping on me a bunch

534
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: of useless information that I have no idea how to

535
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: relate to it, it's just not gonna go wever either.

536
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,719
Speaker 3: Right right, It was so exactly, it's like so inside

537
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: so yeah, and then I guess that's a note of it,

538
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 3: you know, don't get too inside baseball, like it should

539
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 3: be something that's like tonally what someone else can understand.

540
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: Yes, unbelievable.

541
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 3: Okay, then I guess really just sweep through, Well, we

542
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 3: don't have to. And you said politics, religion, those are

543
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: sort of obvious. You got to find out. Like, like

544
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: I literally said to someone the other day, some people

545
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 3: will be like put Christian in the top of their description,

546
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 3: and it's just like, so do they are they expecting

547
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: me to go to church?

548
00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: Regularly.

549
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 3: How often do they go to church? I do think

550
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 3: these things are important because you know, that's the stuff.

551
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: You meet someone hot and they're great, but if they're

552
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 3: wanting you I met someone that every single every twice

553
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,679
Speaker 3: a week goes to church. If they're expecting me to

554
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 3: do that, I'm not going to do that. I don't

555
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 3: think my daughter is going to do that. So I

556
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,719
Speaker 3: wanted to, like know what's realistic about it, because you

557
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 3: have your own values, your own beliefs, and you know

558
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 3: you're not looking to be pulled into someone else's At

559
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 3: this age, probably.

560
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,719
Speaker 1: No, one hundred percent. And that goes into lifestyle. If

561
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 1: you go to church every single Sunday and you want

562
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 1: someone to do that with you and you don't want

563
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: to do that, that's not lifestyle compatibility. There's only one

564
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 1: way to find out is to ask.

565
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 3: Yes, amazeing, Wow, you're very it's wonderful. It's great advice.

566
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 3: And what's really great is that it's completely different than

567
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 3: any other advice. So like, I'm so happy for the

568
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 3: listener because they're just getting such a popery and a

569
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 3: puzzle of like a toolkit that they can choose what

570
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: works for them. I think this is really amazing and helpful.

571
00:24:55,080 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 2: No want to do to the faster, to walk to dock,

572
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 2: to the after