WEBVTT - John Stamos on sobriety and choosing to survive 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:06.120 What do you do when life doesn't go according to 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:09.760 plan that moment you lose a job, or a loved one, 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.080 or even a piece of yourself. I'm Brookshields and this 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.759 is now What, a podcast about pivotal moments as told 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:21.599 by people who lived them. Each week, I sit down 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:23.840 with a guest to talk about the times they were 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.920 knocked off course and what they did to move forward. 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:33.080 Some stories are funny, others are gut wrenching, but all 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:38.320 are unapologetically human and remind us that every success and 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.839 every setback is accompanied by a choice, and that choice 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:45.760 answers one question, now. 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:51.479 What I'm a father because I straightened up like I 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:54.120 couldn't have it, you know, it was better for me 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:56.680 to be older and be established and be clear and 0:00:56.760 --> 0:01:00.800 clean and be able to give him everything that he deserved. Well, 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:02.600 he woke up this morning, he was slepting me welcome. 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:03.400 This morning, and it was really close. 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:04.360 How old is he now? 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:07.200 Five and a half And his face was right next 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.880 to my dad. Yeah, you smell like the bathroom in 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:10.360 my school. 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.400 Than thank you, thank thank, thank you for that very much, 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:15.080 thank you. 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:19.720 But we were in Paris over August, my birthday. We 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.679 were in Greece first, and we were there two days. 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.000 And the first day we had this guide who's a 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.319 nice older French woman, you know, just a normal and 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:30.959 he didn't really pay to it. Next day, this beautiful 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:33.560 thirty year old French guide shows up and he's like, 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.360 he's five and a half and he's wait, you know, 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:38.480 I was never like this, but he was so and 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:41.400 his his move is he says, my goes, so, what's 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.520 my favorite color? What's my favorite like he you know, 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:47.440 you got to he's quizzing it, and so I overhear 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:51.120 him talking to this woman and he's saying, so, I 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:52.760 have this girlfriend back at Homer names now. 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:55.800 Just as she gets out of earshot, I swear to you. 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:57.800 He looks at me and goes, why did I tell 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.280 her I had a girlfriend? Oh my god, you had 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:00.840 a shot at her. 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:01.080 Kid. 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:06.600 My guest today is one of a kind. 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:09.960 John Stamos is an actor, a musician, and author, and, 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:13.080 as it turns out an excellent interview. He and I 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:16.000 met as teenagers and we grew up in this industry, 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:17.919 occasionally crossing paths. 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:19.919 On TV and in the theater. 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.919 His reputation is a heart throb and America's dreamiest uncle 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:29.040 is easy to understand, but he's also a phenomenal actor, 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.360 a drummer for the Beach Boys, a husband and a father, 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:36.760 and an excellent friend. His memoir, If You would Have 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:39.600 Told Me, was one I couldn't put down. I so 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:44.120 appreciated his introspection and his honesty, and I loved reading 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:47.960 more about his journey, the one I had witnessed from Afar. So, 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:51.560 without further ado, here is John Stamos. 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:58.160 John Stamos, hiber Welcome. I'm so happy you decided to 0:02:58.200 --> 0:02:58.680 talk to me. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:00.959 I love you, and I'm so excited that you asked 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:03.200 me to be on here. I was obsessed with your documentary, 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.200 the Hulu one that came out a six months ago. 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:06.000 I can't believe. 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:07.360 I mean, I knew you went through a lot, but 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:10.360 just watching that was like, oh my god, you know, 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.000 and then it just made me more proud to know 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:12.320 you and. 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:14.320 Watch the way you've lived your life. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:18.480 After when I first met you, up until about right now, 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:20.400 I've had the biggest crush on you. 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:20.960 You were the. 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:24.280 First superstar girl that I had a crusher that I 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:24.760 ever met. 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:25.560 And you know where it was. 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:30.880 It was at a Circus of the Stars, and it's 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:33.880 so crazy. And I had another picture, but I just 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:34.680 found this one. 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:39.400 Oh my god. That was in the hotel room in Vegas. 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:41.640 No, we weren't in any hotel rooms, all of. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:44.280 Us thinks on not being creepy. This was at the 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:47.560 forum here in Los Angeles. And were you dating Ted 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:48.920 McGinley or was he just there? 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:51.120 We were dating? 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:57.400 He went a problem with me? I sweet, yeah, never 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.840 slept with them very you know, well it's not too 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:01.400 you're married. 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.840 But anyway, I just love you and I'm I'm just 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:06.280 grateful that you have me on here today. 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.720 And what a great smart idea. Now what thank you? 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:13.440 And also I mean, I feel like after reading your book, 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.200 I have a totally new appreciation. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.400 For everything that you've done. 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:20.280 Thank you very much. 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.400 What was the process like, Well, it's very difficult. 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:25.599 I never thought you had a story to tell. I 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.440 didn't think I have had one until I started writing 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.479 it and being sort of immature about it all, I thought, 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:34.360 like all people want to read about was my sexual conquests, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:36.080 which aren't that many, and I'm not going to tell 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:37.560 this or that, which was such bullshit. 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:39.240 And so I was. 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.080 I became a father in my mid fifties, and then 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:46.320 Bob died and I wrote this. I wrote this obituary 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:48.680 type story about him in the La Times, and then 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:50.599 agents saw it and said, oh, you got to write 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.560 a book. Like no, I don't, And I just could. 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:56.520 I just couldn't fathom. I couldn't imagine. 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:57.520 You're you know, you went to college. I could. 0:04:57.600 --> 0:04:59.200 I went to that little room where you sign up 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:02.320 to go to the college, but I couldn't find I 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:04.480 couldn't find the room. As a local culture, I went 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:05.440 to knox Berry Farm. 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:07.640 Then I came home. That was my school. 0:05:08.160 --> 0:05:11.160 But as I started, I realized, oh, I just discovered 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:13.960 what my story was. I started off with my mom 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:15.200 wrote these beautiful notes. 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:18.360 They're so sweet and her handwriting is so beautiful. 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.000 I cherished these notes and so that was really a 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:22.840 starting point too, and I could start of put them 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:25.400 together and find a map. And then I started with 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.960 that first chapter, which was getting a Dui. And you know, 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.800 it turned out like the first sentence was like, pull 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:33.560 over our uncle Jesse, You're fucked up. I was like, 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:36.240 oh man, and that was so hard. And it was 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:39.200 the five stages of grief. Them were booze and sex, 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:42.119 and you know, just everything terrible. And then then I 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:44.599 wrote this the would turn out to be the last chapter. 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:46.200 It was the day I found out about Bob, and 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.279 you know, the five stages of grief. There were therapy 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:51.840 and family and exercise and taking care of myself. 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:53.560 So then I just had to figure out how to 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:54.160 get there. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:55.840 But I don't know about you, but like when you 0:05:55.920 --> 0:05:58.599 start telling your story, you you go like, wow, it 0:05:58.680 --> 0:05:59.720 was pretty extraordinary. 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:02.320 You were forthcoming pretty fast. 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:05.560 It took me, you know, to be honest, the way 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:07.800 you were, and it took me a minute to get there. 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:09.240 And then I was like, oh, what my mom, I'm 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:10.520 going to do this. I got to, you know, just 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:11.160 do it for real. 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:13.880 Well, I mean, first of all, you you do have 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:16.440 a story. You did have a story, and it's quite evident. 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:20.200 I think we get very comfortable in these industries with 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:25.840 what other people's narrative is of of us, and it 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.719 and it's comfortable and it works, and we get approved 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:32.880 of and we get applauded and we get stuff for it, 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:36.240 and you know, and so there's all these little seductive 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:40.560 pieces that allow your ego, I believe, to feel like 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:45.400 it matters. And then when you sit with the honesty 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:49.400 and sweetness of your mother's notes. And you see you 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:54.599 open the book with that duy, the embarrassment, the fear, 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:58.039 the the and and you know you your reaction was 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:00.599 to brink drink an entire bottle of wine and you 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:02.920 kind of go like, see that's the real shit. 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:03.719 Yes. 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:08.200 So I think that having difficulty at first just means 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:12.640 that you were getting away from your ego. You were 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:16.680 getting in touch with yourself as a father, yourself as 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:17.600 a friend. 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:22.000 And also playing into what you think people want to hear, 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:24.960 what they think of you. And I went, that's probably 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:26.960 one of the main reasons why I didn't get married 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:28.320 sooner or remarried soon. 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:30.520 I thought I had to be this playboy. 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:32.680 I thought that I was the guy that people got 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:35.600 to live vicariously through. Now it's my fault because I 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:37.760 play into one hundred because like you said, it was 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:38.640 it's company. 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:40.560 I think I'm a good looking guy. 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.160 I got to keep this I wasn't you know, I was, 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:46.239 you know, in bed early, and I stayed away from nobody. 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.520 I mean, like the the bon vivante, you know guy, 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.760 because I really all I wanted was true love. All 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.560 I wanted was what my family my mom and dad had. 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:56.920 All they wanted was a family like that, and thank god, 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.440 by the skin of my teeth, I ended up with it. 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:01.640 Well, need a starter marriage because I had one of 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:03.800 those too, So yeah, you need one of those. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.160 Do you think that you would have you? Again? 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:10.080 You opened the book with with the d u I 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.400 and it's very it's just like, you know, you really 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:15.440 catch catch people. But do you think that you would 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:19.120 have been able to get truly sober? And I say 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:22.920 that meaning I know the continuity of having to be that. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.880 Do you think you would have been able to had 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.240 it had that event not happened? 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.440 No, I probably would have died. I didn't want to. 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:32.360 I didn't I didn't want to kill myself. 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:34.400 I don't know if you've ever felt like this, but 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:35.959 if I died, I was like, Okay, I've done it. 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:39.920 I had a TV show, met Brooke Shields. You know 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:44.319 I could I could die of the Stars Stars what else? 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:50.240 But you know, like, learn from me, people, if you're 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:52.320 if you're listening or watching, like, don't I could have 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:52.880 killed somebody. 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:54.199 Brook. I was fuck it. 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.920 I mean to even just talk about now is it 0:08:57.160 --> 0:09:00.160 just makes me so sick to my stomach. What a 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:03.520 and a what a failure? I was, you know, to 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.079 the universe, Like I was confusing the universe at that moment. 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.080 Because I was brought up a certain way. I didn't 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:11.280 have the obstacles that you had. I had both parents, 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.280 and my parents were you know, were loving and cool. 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.040 You know, they were alcoholic, but they dealt with it 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.079 a little better I think than your mom did. I 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:20.559 don't know, but so I had no excuse. And here 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.680 I was being the gigantic fuck up that I was 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.640 at that moment. So I probably wouldn't have. But I 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:29.720 you know, before I wrote this book, I used to say, 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:31.160 I have regrets. Yeah I wish I didn't do this. 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:32.760 I wish that didn't that, but I should have taken 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:34.720 that role. I didn't do it, And after writing I 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:37.240 was like, no, everything was the way it was supposed 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.959 to be because I learned from each of those moments 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:44.120 in my life, and I smart enough to kind of 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:45.920 do better or learn from them and not make the 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:46.440 same mistake. 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:47.000 Hopefully. 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:55.199 I want to kind of jump back a little bit 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:59.000 to you as a as a younger John, you talk 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:02.360 about being a dorky kid, You talk about being the 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:08.040 marching band and loving puppets and magic and Disney. 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.280 Who was little? Who is little? Were you Johnny? 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:14.000 Yeah, Johnny, who is a little Johnny pretty gawky dorky. 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:15.360 In the book, I have a picture of me with 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:17.360 puppets and there's a girl standing next to me going, 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.280 you know, like it was not impressive, And then the 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:22.040 next picture is me playing drunk like I went to 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:26.200 that thinking that, but I remember, you were always beautiful. 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.560 I was a caterpillar and then into the butterfly, and 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.559 it's all I wanted. I say that I wanted to 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.800 be famous, and I did, but I'm more I just 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:34.560 wanted to be liked. 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:38.760 I wanted to be admired or whatever. I was bullied. 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:40.360 You know, A guy punched me and the I had a 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.240 black eye, and I had to deal with that. But 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:43.360 then girls started. 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:45.480 His girl in particular, I wanted to go out with me, 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:47.240 and I ended up going out with her for a 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:47.760 couple of years. 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.520 But then I realized his name a protected name. 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:51.360 Yeah, I changed it. 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:55.880 I wanted to dedicate he knows who he is. I 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:58.320 wanted to dedicate the whole book to him, but you know, 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:02.200 they wouldn't have me anyway. I'm kidding but I did. 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.000 I do remember every milestone was like, I'm going to 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:07.160 show him. I'm going to play with the beach sports. 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:08.520 I went to invite the show and I'm gonna have 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:10.760 my bodyguards give him a black eye, and no, I'm going. 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:15.520 To But those kinds of relationships, though, are important in 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.559 a driving force, you know. I mean I've had them 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:21.600 in different different ways. 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:22.040 You know. 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:24.760 Mine was my you know, my revenge was like I'm 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:28.319 going to get an education to improve all you wrong. 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:31.000 But how do you do you feel like? I don't know, 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.160 but do you feel like you've made it? Like you've 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.040 you're a pretty close to a complete human going through 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:38.680 all the stuff that you've gone through. 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:43.719 And I have finally just started doing things for myself 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:45.199 on my own. 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:49.040 Terms, like what like what not giving a ship? 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:53.280 Like yesterday, I was on the plane and there was 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:55.640 a woman and she was sitting across the aisle from me, 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:57.560 and I was talking to this other lady. 0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.880 I was flying five. 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:03.040 Different cities in like two days, and and uh, they 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.480 do the sneaky thing when they picked up the camera 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:09.040 and they and they think you're blind and it's right 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:13.680 there and you know, and you're and I had a tequila. 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:14.960 So I was like, all right. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.040 I was like, lady, guys, I was like, don't say it, 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:19.480 don't say it, don't do it, don't do it. 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:21.400 And I just said, I said, hey, excuse me. 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.640 I said, you know, if you had asked, I would 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:29.080 have said yes, but it's the sneaking that I just 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:33.080 can't take. And the woman got so embarrassed, to which 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.520 then I felt bad. And then I was I was going, 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:36.959 do you want to meet me in the galley and 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:39.199 I'll take a picture with you? And I'm sorry, I've 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.439 had a tequila and maybe i'm you know, edgie, I'm tired. 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.839 And then she's like, no, no, no, I don't want a picture. 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:45.240 And then I'm going, well, are you sure you don't 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:46.640 want a picture? Why don't we just why don't we 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:48.200 just stand by the bathroom and get a picture. And 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:51.079 then I became insane and the whole thing was a mess. 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.120 But it was a moment where I thought like I 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:56.400 would have never said anything. 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:58.920 I would have just kept my mouth shut. 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:02.400 And I've gotten to this place where I don't want 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:05.680 to give it all away anymore. I'm proud of my kids, 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:09.400 proud of my twenty five year relationship. You know, I'm 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:11.440 proud of the fact that I'm still able to work. 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:18.880 I'm castable. It wasn't until Broadway that I realized I 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:20.120 had talent, I had balls. 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:21.600 I was a triple threat. 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.560 Cabaret was the greatest thing I ever did. Did you 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:25.319 have the best? Was it your favorite all time? 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:29.240 It was? It was a revelation to me. 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:33.520 A wonderful town was more so of a personal. 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:34.520 I saw you in that. 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:36.400 That was just personally my personal best. 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.800 Cabaret was a struggle the whole time, but it was 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:44.720 one of the first times I really understood myself as 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:45.240 an actress. 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.040 Yeah, me too, as an actor. 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:49.160 For me, I had to like, you know, in the beginning, 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:51.920 you know, I was afraid to really go to that 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.719 place where you had to go to play the mc or. 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.240 And people were walking out and I'm like, oh shit, 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:58.640 what am I doing? Really said, no, you do it. 0:13:58.720 --> 0:13:59.280 That's the good. 0:13:59.480 --> 0:13:59.680 You know. 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.560 That was a time too, As I write as if 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.520 she was writing, I found myself in the middle back 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:08.079 then and before general hospital stuff, in the middle of 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:11.760 the cultural issues that were going on. Cabaret was my 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:13.959 first publicist was gay and he was dying of AIDS. 0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:16.480 And you know, and his parents didn't accept it. I 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:18.960 was going through, you know, that whole thing. So there's 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.080 all these things as I wrote the book that it 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.960 came to. But but I'd never been I'd never been 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.800 on I never done the theater and I and you know, 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.680 I worked with Jack Klugman before Full House and he 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.000 was like, get to the data, and I was like, 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:34.120 I never did it before. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.000 But like everything in my life, like writing a book, 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:37.200 it was like I can't write a book, but you 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.760 do it. But I worked really hard at it. 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:44.200 I mean, you've worked constantly since your start. Yeah, but 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.960 you've also done the thing that I think people don't 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:51.920 they don't really realize is so important, is that in 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:56.120 order to have longevity in any capacity, you have to 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:59.200 keep working. But this business doesn't design. It is not 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:00.960 design to. 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:03.480 Allow you to keep working. Right now, you said you 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:05.400 didn't want to be on Full House at first. When 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.120 did you change her? Why? 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:11.600 Well, well, because look it was it was pitched to 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.080 me as Bosom Buddies. 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:16.640 I love that show with Tom Hanks, just Glory and I. 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:18.120 So it was and it was the same producers and 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.600 it was like it's Bosom Buddies, but you know, there's 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:22.560 three guys and there's some kids, but they're in the background. 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.960 And then I was like, okay, you know, and I'm 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.440 you know, I said yes, and then we got it 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:30.360 together and I'll never forget the table read. I went 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:32.240 in thinking like I was the big you know, I 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.200 was the star. I came off you know shows, and 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:36.080 the mothers and the. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:38.120 Sisters were like, oh, Johnson wasn't. 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:41.600 And I sat down at the table and Jody Sweeten 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:45.000 blew the roof off the page and every joke that 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:47.680 she they were laughing so hard that you couldn't even 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.920 hear it. And then when it was over, I ran 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:52.760 it was paid phone, So I ran out to the payphone. 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.560 I jammed a corner and I was like, get me 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:55.520 off as fucking show. 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.840 It's roper room. I didn't sign up for this. So 0:15:57.960 --> 0:15:59.120 I went in kicking his steaming. 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.680 Were you just threat by someone else getting a better 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:02.200 your lack horse? 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:02.440 Yeah? 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:06.200 Yeah, but it was no yes until I learned to 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.880 you know, there was quite an evolution. 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:09.520 I'll get too. 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.360 But I just thought it was a kiddie show and 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:13.400 it wasn't for me, and it wasn't sophisticated, and it 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:15.600 wasn't Seinfeld, it wasn't this one. So then we get 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.280 into it, and after the first year was I started 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.080 to like it a little bit and I had to 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.920 give into it because there it was every day. And 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.640 I remember some a father coming up to me saying, 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.560 you know, this showed me so much to me because 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.320 I'm a single dad and I got two daughters, and 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.120 your family on there is not the traditional family, but 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:33.960 you're still family. 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:34.680 Okay. 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:36.680 So the agents called and said, you know, we're gonna 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.960 We're probably not gonna make it, and I said, well, really, 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.040 I mean, I said, you hated the show, and I said, well, 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:44.640 I'm starting to now to back up, and here's something 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:45.160 I discovered. 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:46.720 I was already I was madly in love. 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:50.880 My first love was this actress named Terry Copley, and 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.400 I fell mad in love. She was a little older, sophistication, 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:55.120 had a daughter, and I said, I'm a married or 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.000 be a stepdad, it's gonna be great. 0:16:57.240 --> 0:16:58.600 I caught her in bed with Tony. 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:05.119 Dance and Brooks jaw just hit the the not just 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:09.520 the desks at the floor and just it's perfect. I 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:12.199 haven't talked about this, but it's in the book, but Anyway, 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:14.040 My point was what happened, and it was the look. 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:16.159 It was horrible. I don't know if you've been heartbroke. 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:18.280 You probably haven't because you're a heartbreaker, not a heart 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:19.200 no I have. 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:23.639 That's another show, Jackson who no, no, no, no, no, 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:25.640 Liam Neeson broke. 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.000 I heard you talking about that on Stern right right? 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:34.040 Yeah, Liam, Well so but you know what that felt like, right, 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:35.919 and so I was going to took me years to 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:39.040