1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Hi everybody. While I'm taking um the month of September 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: off of doing stand up, I return on October one 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: to complete my Vaccinated and Horny tour. October, November, and December, 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California, 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach, Bakersfield. 6 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis, San Diego, Reading, Pennsylvania, 7 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name a few. There's also 8 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: some Floridian dates in there, since this will be my 9 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: last year that I'm able to go inside the state 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: of Florida. So check out Chelsea Handler dot com for 11 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: more stand up dates for my Vaccinated in Horny Tour. 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: These are my last dates. Hi Catherine, Hi, Chelsea. Hi. 13 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: My name is Chelsea Joy Handler and I'm here today 14 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: to record a podcast in the beautiful city of New York. 15 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: Can I just tell you earlier you were approving videos 16 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: of yourself doing comedy and giggling, and it was the 17 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: most joyful thing I've ever seen watching giggle. No one's 18 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: in love with himselves as much as I am. I 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: when my social media team sends me a bunch of videos. 20 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: They put them together, but they put all these little 21 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: affectations on in like words, and it was funny and 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 1: I was yeah, I like, yeah, yeah, I get a 23 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: kick out on myself. I love that everyone should feel 24 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: that way. Honestly, I know we should all really start 25 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: to love ourselves a little bit more. I've always been 26 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,839 Speaker 1: I've always been pretty high on myself. Well, not always. 27 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: I sometimes beat myself up, but for the most part. 28 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: Now I'm mature enough to be like, you're a wonderful person. Right. 29 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: Speaking of being wonderful, I have to I don't know 30 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: if you saw my Skims ad, but I did. I 31 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: was so excited that that's what my body looked like 32 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: that I can't even express. And then as soon as 33 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: that shoot was over, what I did was they asked 34 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: me to do the Skims Brock Camp Pain. I was 35 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: on vacation. I said, listen, I'm gonna be on vacation 36 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: for two months. I'm not willing to fly back unless 37 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: you make it worth my while. They made it worth 38 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: my while. I came home and gave myself a week. 39 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: I started to just be more careful about the food 40 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: and the drinking, and then I get on my timeline 41 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: where I eat every three to four hours, really small meals, 42 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: no bullshit like egg whites, broccoli, avocado, that kind of ship. Anyway, 43 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,359 Speaker 1: I had one week to get it together. I came 44 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: home after Martha's Vineyard and then I really hunkered down 45 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: with Ben Bruno. We worked out every day. I did 46 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: my Peloton ABS class every morning, and I did I 47 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: was an angel about my food, no alcohol, only cannabis. 48 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: And on the day of the shoot, I was like, listen, 49 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: I felt really comfortable about my body, but I knew 50 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: if I had one more week. I was like, if 51 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,239 Speaker 1: I could manipulate my body like this in one week, 52 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: can you imagine what I could do in two or three? 53 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh god. But anyway, the 54 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: minute thought shoot was over, I have been on a 55 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: food and alcohol tear. I am. I have rebounded, and 56 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: that body is over. I'm like, listen, I proved what 57 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: I could do, and I washed my hands of it 58 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: now and now I can feel free to just to 59 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 1: blow up, yeah, and like party and have fun and 60 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 1: do all the good things. I really like to be 61 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: strong and fit and lean, but it's nice to be 62 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: able to manipulate your body like that and have kind 63 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: of like a you know, the definition and all that. Yeah, 64 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,679 Speaker 1: I see your abs and stuff, and like the cellulite diminishes. 65 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: Everyone says you can't get rid of cellulite. That's not true. 66 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: I get rid of it all the time, and then 67 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: it comes back, and then I can get rid of it. 68 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: You just have to be good. It's all about your diet. 69 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter how much you exercise. You know, 70 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: that doesn't ever fix that problem for me. But yeah, 71 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: I'm really happy that I did that campaign. I'm so grateful. 72 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: I'm so happy that I mean, can you believe I 73 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 1: spent so many years making fun of Kim er at 74 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: Ashi and and now I'm working for her. Well, you know, 75 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: you just never know how life is going to turn 76 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: out to you. It's a full circle moment. Okay. Today's guest, 77 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: you guys, is a stand up comedian in He's an actor. 78 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: He's also a storyteller. He's a director, a producer, and 79 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: a writer. He has a new show coming out on 80 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: Broadway which is so fucking cool. It's called The Old 81 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: Man and the Pool. He also stars opposite Tom Hanks 82 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,679 Speaker 1: in a new movie called a man called Auto. Please 83 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: welcome Mike Brobiglia. Hi, verb Biglia. How are you glad 84 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: I'm here? Oh my god, we have so much to discuss. 85 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: Kather and Mike, Holy cow, how are you? Hiy, nice 86 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: to meet you. Yeah, you can look at that screen. 87 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: You can look at that screen. Just take a mirror 88 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: out and stare at yourself the whole time. I just 89 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: I got a shower and just jesus, I look like 90 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: a like a third grade schoolboy with this hair. Yeah 91 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: you do. Welcome to Mike bro Biglia. He's sitting down 92 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 1: and he just got out of the shower. Usually actually 93 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: at the first ad break during this podcast, we shower together. 94 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: So if you want to do it twy, that's fine. 95 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: Can I just say I was listening to one of 96 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: your bits just now in the waiting room, and I 97 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 1: was like, one of the things I think you do 98 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,039 Speaker 1: so well comedically and very few people can pull off 99 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 1: is indignant, Like it's funny when you're indignant, and a 100 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 1: lot of people when they're indignant, it's like, oh come on, 101 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: but like no, no, you're doing this thing about you know, 102 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 1: people taking their feet off the airplane trays. Don't touch it. 103 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: With your feet and you're mad about it, and you're like, 104 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: and don't funk with the flight attendants, like they're working 105 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: so hard and so true. Like a lot of times 106 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: that kind of comedy can sound kind of like holier 107 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: than now. One of your special powers is indignant, but 108 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: in a way that it feels funny and also like 109 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: not I don't know, like I don't I feel like, yeah, 110 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: that's so true. Well, thank you, Mike. What do you 111 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: think if you had to name your special power or 112 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: one of your special powers, what would it be? No, 113 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: I think it's some I think I can, I think, 114 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 1: I think, I don't know. I think I can tell 115 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: a story in a way that isn't boring, and I 116 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: can I can understand what's boring about myself in the 117 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,280 Speaker 1: in real time and go, okay, I guess which gears Yeah, 118 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: that's actually that is a special power. Because so many 119 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: people talk endlessly and you're like, do you not understand 120 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 1: that this is not compelling? And you're still talking and 121 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: there's not really a reaction coming from anybody, Like I've 122 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: been at a dinner where somebody drolls on and our 123 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: drones on and is a drone drones who knows what 124 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 1: it is. I'm too too tired to make words anymore. 125 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: But when people go on and on and there's not 126 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: really a big reaction from anybody at the dinner table, 127 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: and you just think to yourself, what is this person doing, 128 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: Why won't they stop talking? Well, they they've clearly been 129 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: work shopping with the wrong people. Work shopping. Wait, okay, 130 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: speaking of work shopping, I want to talk about one 131 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: of your special powers, because Mike bar Biglia is an 132 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: incredible person in the sense that you are helping so 133 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: many young comedians get to the next level. And we 134 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 1: have so many people in common between Hannah e'mbinder and 135 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: between Alex Edelman and Otsco. All of these people we 136 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: both have worked with or are both friends with, and 137 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: all three of them just have the nicest things to 138 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: say about you. And Otsco was just telling me, Mike 139 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: bar Biglia does this thing called the ride back, you know, 140 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: because after you achieve your own success, which you have 141 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: certainly done, you have gone around and picked up people 142 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: that need help from other people. And I know you're 143 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: producing the show just for us, which I just saw 144 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: last night. We're in New York City today, which is 145 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: Alex Edelman Show, which closes I think tonight, so the 146 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: last night. Yeah, and then hopefully we'll start up again. Yeah, 147 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: it'll start up again, and I think it will. It'll 148 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: end up being a big special eventually. Yeah, and it 149 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: should be on Broadway, I think. So. I mean, this 150 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: guy is so talented, it's so great, and it's very 151 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 1: it's very much about growing up as a Jew, and 152 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: he tells this long story about a night he has 153 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: and it's just he's kind of like the new I 154 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: would say, like a new Woody Allen, you know, without 155 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: marrying his daughter. Hopefully that won't happen because he's dating Hannah. 156 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 1: I'm bid when I would like the two of them 157 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: to stay together because I think they're a commensurate right, like, 158 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: they both have a nice My god, are you kidding me? 159 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: The power couple. Yeah, total power couple. So I just 160 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: wanted to give you kudos for that because I think 161 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: that you deserve it. Well, you know that term ride back. 162 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: It's funny because Otsco uses it with me, but I 163 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: think both of us got it from Hassan Minaj, who 164 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: uses that term. Yeah, yeah, I don't. Yeah, Hassan brought 165 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: it up and then Otsko uses it for me. Otsco 166 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: is like, it's funny. We met were pandemic friends. We 167 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:46,599 Speaker 1: met on just Instagram. I lover videos, and I was 168 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 1: just like, who is this person? Like, I'm going to 169 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: ask her to come on my podcast. She came on, 170 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,559 Speaker 1: working it out, we go along really well, and then 171 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,839 Speaker 1: like when I started doing shows again, I was like, hey, 172 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 1: do you want to come just like open some shows. 173 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 1: And then she came to Chicago Theater with me and 174 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 1: then crushed and then I was like and then I 175 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: love her husband Ryan, He's like brilliantly talented as well. 176 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: And then we've just been doing like every show together 177 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: and she's just super cool and like wildly talented, wildly talented. Yeah, 178 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,559 Speaker 1: she's going to be a big star. And she's so 179 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: sweet and funny and her story so it's she's unique. 180 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: It's so nice as a comic when you see things 181 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 1: that aren't derivative of things we've already seen before. Oh 182 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: my gosh. Yeah. I mean one of the things that 183 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: one of the things about comedy, there's a lot of 184 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: like kind of white male complainers in comedy right now 185 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: are just like, how come everybody, every everything has to 186 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: be diversion blah blah blah, and it's like, well, actually, 187 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: I think like sort of a better question might feel 188 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: like when you get more diverse stories, like odsco story, 189 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: for example, is like she came from Japan. I think 190 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: when she's like eleven years old and she tells the story. 191 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to give away the story that she 192 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: tells on stage because it's so good. But it's like 193 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: her life story is so fascinating. When you get more 194 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: diverse stories, it's just better comedy, is the truth. It's 195 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: it's genuinely better storytelling better comedy, I think, of course. 196 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: And it's also like it's a nicer to have a 197 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: wider breadth of learning about people's experiences than a narrow viewpoint. 198 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: When everyone's complaining about being too politically correct or it's 199 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 1: like all you have to do is not be racist 200 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: or sexist, Like it's not at all order you don't 201 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: have to complain about that. You could just be a 202 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 1: little bit more clever or by the way, you can 203 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: be racist or sexist. But then if people say that 204 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 1: they're right, yeah, right, right, right exactly, it's actually non 205 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: illegally racist or sexist. But it's just like you know 206 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,280 Speaker 1: people will criticize you, which has always been the case, 207 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 1: excepted exponentialized with social media so exponentialized. That's good. I 208 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: haven't heard that yet. Who helped you when you were 209 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,319 Speaker 1: coming up? Did you have anybody that was really helpful, 210 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 1: Like a lot of people like Mitch Hedberg was really helpful. 211 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,319 Speaker 1: I was starting out, really he Yeah, there's like a 212 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,559 Speaker 1: handful of people did like a lot of really nice 213 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: things for me, Like I opened from Mitch Hedburg in Dayton, 214 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: Ohio at the Joker's Comedy Club. I don't think you 215 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 1: would have ever played there. Maybe I don't know if 216 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: I've played there. But you know what, I don't know 217 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: where I've been because every time I go somewhere, I'm like, 218 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 1: I can't wait to go there, And then I go 219 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,839 Speaker 1: in and there's a picture of me and I sounded it. 220 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh ship, I've forgotten more than most people 221 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,199 Speaker 1: will ever remember. I like that quote. I don't know 222 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 1: whose it is. It's not mine, but I continue to 223 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 1: use it. Yeah, he didn't. He he didn't really mentioned 224 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: his wife Lynn did a really sweet thing, which is 225 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: like I had like a self produced comedy album when 226 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 1: I was like twenty something, years old called Dog Years 227 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: and they and they came to New York and performed 228 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: at like the comic strip with me. For that's actually 229 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,319 Speaker 1: I don't even know if you remember. This is a 230 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: zillion years ago. I met you at the comic strip 231 00:11:55,720 --> 00:12:00,959 Speaker 1: years ago, and carolines here years ago, and it was 232 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 1: actually really unique instance where I was you were on 233 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,719 Speaker 1: this ascent and I was just sort of witnessing it 234 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: happened like you weren't a household name, but you were 235 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,719 Speaker 1: like on your way to it, and it was like 236 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: it was it was fascinating to watch you. You were 237 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: I mean, you were crushing. It was twenty years ago. 238 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 1: You were crushing. But I was like, who is this 239 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: person who has this wild trajectory? I've never been around 240 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: that before. Really really well bigs. Yeah, I remember Caroline 241 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: seen meeting you at Caroline's the comic strip. Yeah, vaguely 242 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: now I remember that. Is that around anymore of the 243 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: comic strip? So is that where do you perform when 244 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: you're met the cell when you're a seller person, that 245 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: seems to be the place where everyone is. Well, it's phenomenal. 246 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just what it is is and if 247 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: people are listening and want to visit New York. It's 248 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: like they have like three or four comedy rooms like 249 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: in a two block radius. They're really good rooms. They're 250 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: really well well booked, well produced shows, and the food 251 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: is great. I think all left. Yeah. Yeah, the food 252 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 1: in a comedy club is typically not awesome. So if 253 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,439 Speaker 1: you can get that while you're watching comedy, it's a 254 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 1: bonus round for sure. So tell me about your life now, 255 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 1: now that you are successful and you have a very 256 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: steady career, how does that feel. It's good. I mean like, 257 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,839 Speaker 1: I'm doing this next show which is called The Old 258 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,959 Speaker 1: Man in the Pool on Broadway, which is exciting. Oh 259 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 1: my god, can't wait to see it. That's incredible, so exciting. Yeah, 260 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: it's at the Beaumont Theater at Lincoln Center. Wow. So 261 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: it's so it's really exciting. And when does that start? 262 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:39,680 Speaker 1: Oct perfect O at the Beaumont Theater And and yeah, 263 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: to answer your question, like it's it feels good. It's 264 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: like I'm sure you experienced this to some degree. On 265 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,959 Speaker 1: one hand, you're like, oh, I'm I can't believe I'm here. 266 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: This is so exciting. The audiences are showing up to 267 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: see my sense of humor, because when you're starting out, 268 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,559 Speaker 1: it's like it's any sense of humor. You get on 269 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: stage and you're just kind of like they either get 270 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: you or they don't him. Now, when I tour as 271 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,559 Speaker 1: as is, I'm sure when you tours like no, no, 272 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 1: they know what they're paying for. I've written this show 273 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 1: over a few years and they're on board for it, 274 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: and I don't know. It feels like your friend with 275 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: the audience, Yeah, which I think you're the funniest kind 276 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: of jokes. It's like when you have an inside joke 277 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 1: with your friend. And I feel like over the years 278 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 1: I've been able to develop that with my audience where 279 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 1: it feels like an inside joke. Well, I think though, 280 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 1: you'll have a different not a different in a bad 281 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: Way experience though on Broadway, because the audience aren't just 282 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 1: going to be your fans. It's gonna be a word 283 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: of mouth thing too, where people tourists are coming in 284 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 1: and they're gonna want to see something funny in a 285 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: comic and they're going to hear about it, you know 286 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: what I mean. So those are going to be people. 287 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: It's a great way to actually broaden your audience, right yeah, Yeah, 288 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: Before they die. Yeah, everyone's going to pass away shortly, 289 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: so so we should all be prepared for that. So 290 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: tell me about the show. Well, it's it's funny. That's 291 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: the theme of the show is the old Man in 292 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: the Pool is about aging and more tality and and 293 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: you know that last show was called The New One, 294 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 1: which is on Netflix now, and it's and it was 295 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: all about having a child, despite the fact that I 296 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: never want to have a child, Like I was really adamant. 297 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: And the first half of the specials all the reasons 298 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 1: I never want to have a child. Second half of 299 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: the specialist about how I had a child, and then 300 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 1: how I was right, and then how I was wrong 301 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: in certain ways and and sort of the emotional arc 302 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 1: of that. But now my daughters seven years old and 303 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: so now and now she can watch that special and 304 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: be reminded that her father never wanted to have a baby. 305 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: But my wife Jenny always points out that, like she'll 306 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: just never even though I said, she'll just never believe 307 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: it because I'm so doting, Like she just doesn't. I 308 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 1: don't think she'll compute it, like she'll just be like, oh, 309 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 1: that's an act, yeah right, But no, I really did 310 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: I mean, I never want up a child. What's funny 311 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: is from that special? I don't know. It came out 312 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. About a year after it 313 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: came out, someone sent me a link to like a 314 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: Reddit thread that was like a child free commune. Any 315 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: forward that to me? Please my gosh, where people are like, 316 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: we love the first half of the special and then 317 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: they were like and then and I turned on them. 318 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: I didn't mean to, but I was like, you know, 319 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: this is what happened. Well, I mean, it would be 320 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: hard to I remember talking one of my friend's husbands 321 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: they have three children, and she was like, I never 322 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: wanted to have kids, and he goes in, now, it's 323 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: impossible to even think about how I felt about that, 324 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 1: because you know, once you have them, obviously, I mean 325 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: even I would love my kid when if I had one, 326 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: you know, and then you're like, oh god it because 327 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: it's you're never gonna want that to be taken away 328 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: from you once you have that experience, because it's probably magical, 329 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: I would imagine on multiple levels. It's extraordinary. It's spiritual, right, 330 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: I mean, the idea that you and your wife could 331 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: create a person and then you watch them grow and 332 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 1: their mind being shaped. I mean that is a fascinating endeavor. Yeah, 333 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: the whole first half of that special, I just make 334 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: fun of people with kids, and now I am one 335 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: of those people, and it's like, it's embarrassing. You should 336 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,360 Speaker 1: you should be embarrassing proud of it. But that's where 337 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 1: I meant right now, and then the new shows is 338 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 1: all about death. I mean it's all about meditating on death. 339 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 1: And my feeling is like, if you can make people 340 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 1: laugh for ninety minutes about the thing that we're all 341 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: sort of most scared of, or some of us are 342 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: most scared of, then there can be a catharsis in 343 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: the audience. There can be a feeling if you walk 344 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 1: away feeling better than you walked in. My pet peeven 345 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: comedy is when comedy scratches the surface so much that 346 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: the person doesn't go in deep, and then you're left 347 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,840 Speaker 1: feeling like it's a little bit like junk food, you know, 348 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 1: and you're just like, all right, that was fun, you know, 349 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: it was a good time. Yeah, yeah, I hear what 350 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 1: you're saying. There's no there's a lack of depth. Well, 351 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: it's funny because one of your one of your specials 352 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 1: that you did where you talk to people about race 353 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,639 Speaker 1: and privilege and you sort of like make yourself the 354 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: line of fire. You basically, I would I don't even 355 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,680 Speaker 1: know how to describe it. You basically say like I'm 356 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: open for criticism kind of thing. Is that how you 357 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: describe it? Yeah? I like that feeling. Yeah, And I 358 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 1: really respected that because I was like, that's going deep 359 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 1: because you're putting yourself out there and just being like, yeah, 360 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: just take shots. What are your thoughts on this? Well? 361 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: I also find when you have the opportunity to do 362 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: a documentary, it's like it can't be a vanity project. 363 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 1: You have to dig right. You can't just be sitting 364 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: there like promoting yourself because it's so easy to be 365 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: in this industry and really get lost right. I find 366 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,719 Speaker 1: New York there's more grounding and more normalcy here. These 367 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: are real people that not everybody's in the industry. There's arts, 368 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: there's museums, there's stuff to interest you. The parks are beautiful, 369 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: you know, like the piers. You go down to the 370 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: piers and there's people outside exercising, and I'm just like, 371 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: l A has a dearth of grounded nous. You know, 372 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,440 Speaker 1: people just get so kind of dumb. I certainly feel 373 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,040 Speaker 1: like I get dumb when I'm in l af for 374 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: too long. Why did you stick? Why have you stuck 375 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: with us so many years? Because I just love land 376 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: and houses. I love land, and I love droughts, and 377 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 1: I can't wait to get started on our next drout. 378 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,120 Speaker 1: I won't be there for long because California will probably 379 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 1: catch on fire, so I'll have to probably relocate to 380 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: Nova Scotia or somewhere else in Canada. That's I'm not 381 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: have my eyes on property where global warming won't In fact, 382 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: like I think about that Al timin Nova Scotia, North Atlanta, 383 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:32,360 Speaker 1: Tennessee oddly like, yeah, there's a few like that Tennessee. 384 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 1: Nashville is a pretty cool city. It's just set. Everyone's 385 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: down there. I'd like to be a little bit off 386 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: the beaten track, but I never quite make it that far. 387 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,199 Speaker 1: I go down these rabbit holes about climate change sometimes 388 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: and I look at like where where will the survivors be? Yeah? 389 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: And Maine is a big one. Yeah, but then there's 390 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: weird things. It's like Vermont good, except that it's on 391 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: Lake Champlain and you can end up with other natural 392 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: disasters from the lakes, right actually, but I also think 393 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: it's important to be by a lake when we all 394 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: run out of water, right, so we have to find 395 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: some lake community like Wyoming or Montana might be a 396 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: good idea. But then there's too many guns. They're like, 397 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: I'm not down with that telling people too much. We're 398 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: telling people where our escape routes are. Well, one of 399 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: my brothers, the one that man splains the most, his 400 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 1: name is Glenn Handler, and he was telling me that 401 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 1: with Cape Cod the North Atlantic area, that global warming 402 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: is going to affect it into terms of shorter summers 403 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 1: and longer winters, like it's going to be more the 404 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,680 Speaker 1: opposite of what will happen on the West Coast. And 405 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,880 Speaker 1: then like I just got an update on Instagram from 406 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: I have a place in Whistler, Canada because I love 407 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: to ski, and they just predicted that this winter is 408 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: going to be a freeze, like it's going to be 409 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 1: arctic temperature. I'm like, oh shit. But so I think 410 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: everywhere it's going to be affected differently. Like I always 411 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: thought of global warming as like the sea levels rising, 412 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,280 Speaker 1: everything gets warmer, but without that Gulf stream storm cycle 413 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: that we have, it will stay colder in the North East, 414 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,719 Speaker 1: and we'll get colder and the winters will be more 415 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: harsh or harsher, I should say. So anyway, that's your 416 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: global warming update everybody. If you have any questions about that, 417 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: please right into another podcast. So, Mike, what we do 418 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,199 Speaker 1: is we give people advice. It's really fun, all right, 419 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 1: So let's do it. And I want to come on 420 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: your podcast too. Okay, let's do that. Um, Katherine, what 421 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 1: do you have in store for us today? First, we'll 422 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 1: take a quick break. We're not taking a shower because 423 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: Mike just showered. I don't know who gave him that 424 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 1: fucking note. But we'll take a break and we'll be 425 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: right back and we're back amazing. Well, Mike, we have 426 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: an email. We have some callers today. I hope that 427 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 1: these are right up your alley. So Mike's a pretty 428 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: sensitive guy. I think he can probably handle whatever is 429 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 1: coming our way, Thank goodness. So our first email comes 430 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 1: from Blair. Blair says, Dear Chelsea, my husband and I 431 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: have been talking about starting to try to have a baby, 432 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 1: but he keeps making excuses about why we should wait 433 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,520 Speaker 1: a few more months. He's interviewing for new jobs and 434 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: wants to be in a better place financially, we should 435 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 1: buy a house first, etcetera. I've tried to tell him 436 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,880 Speaker 1: that it's never the quote right time, and we're both 437 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 1: in our thirties, so every month counts, and even if 438 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 1: we did get pregnant right away, we'd have almost a 439 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: whole year of pregnancy to figure things out. He tells 440 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: me that I am always just doing things on my 441 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 1: timeline without considering him. I may have booked some wedding 442 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: venue walk throughs before he officially proposed, but I knew 443 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: he had the ring already. How can I talk to 444 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: him about starting to try sooner without him feeling like 445 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,640 Speaker 1: I'm steam rolling Blair? She said, they're in their thirties. Yeah, okay, Well, 446 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,680 Speaker 1: as a man, I'm gonna let you take because you 447 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: probably experienced something similar to this. Oh my gosh, I 448 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,479 Speaker 1: mean that's a hard question, right, Like that's a I mean, 449 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 1: she's really threatening the needle of challenging because the wedding 450 00:22:55,320 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 1: venues thing for me is a even he had he 451 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: had gotten the ring, to propose that, it's annoying to 452 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: know that you did that for your husband. That would 453 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 1: be annoying, I think to anybody, but helpful for us. 454 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 1: So then having gone through it and had some challenges 455 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: and pregnancy like as much as whatever, people get mad 456 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,160 Speaker 1: if I say it actually does matter how many months 457 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 1: you know, and like in your thirties, like there does 458 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: reach a point where is an issue? Yeah, it actually 459 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 1: is an issue. So she has a point on that front. 460 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: But I also think she might want to have a 461 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 1: frank conversation with him about whether that's what he wants 462 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 1: to do, because I also think it's a little bit 463 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: of a fickle thing to be like, let's wait a 464 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 1: few more months. It's like well or ever, you know 465 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: what I mean? Like is that the question? Like is 466 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: the question is a few more months? Or is it 467 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: do you want to do this? Well? When you because 468 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:56,919 Speaker 1: since you never thought you wanted to have a kid? 469 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 1: What happened with your relationship? How did it come about 470 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 1: that you decide to have one? I mean ultimately like 471 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: and this is paraphrasing a ninety who longs special in 472 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,520 Speaker 1: a book that where I really go into the sort 473 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 1: of minutia of it, but like, ultimately generally want to 474 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 1: have a child, And she never thought she want to 475 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: have a child. She said, I think you'd be a 476 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: good dad and this is something I want to do, 477 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 1: And ultimately was like, well, I'm not gonna hold you 478 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,959 Speaker 1: back from that and that, and that's why I that's 479 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: why I did it because I was like, I think 480 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 1: it's hard to hold someone and maybe this is boring. 481 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: I just said I was going to attempt to not 482 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:38,120 Speaker 1: be boring. But it's like, I think that if you're 483 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 1: in a relationship where you know you're capable of doing 484 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 1: a thing that your person who you are in love 485 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 1: with and they really want to do and you so 486 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 1: sort of want to do it or you're okay with it, 487 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,440 Speaker 1: you should try to do it. Yeah. And I would 488 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: also say he is not saying he doesn't want to 489 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,159 Speaker 1: have a kid. He's just he needs some time to 490 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 1: warm up to it. I would say, with your track 491 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 1: record of what you did with the booking looking at 492 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,399 Speaker 1: wedding locations, that you've kind of stabbed yourself in the 493 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: foot there because that's annoying. That was annoying, and that 494 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 1: was overstepping. And I when girls do that with my 495 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 1: guy friends, they're always pissed and they're always annoyed and 496 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: it takes them a long time to get over it, 497 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: but you're married now. He's not saying he doesn't want 498 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 1: to have a child, but there is the age factor. 499 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 1: So all you have to do is say, listen, I 500 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 1: don't want to bother you about this. I don't want 501 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: to be up your butt. I know that I need 502 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: your you to warm up to it. But there is 503 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: an age factor here. So depending on where you are 504 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 1: in your thirties, you know, if he's not ready to 505 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 1: have one now, and maybe you want to freeze your 506 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: eggs if that's an option, If that's something that's like 507 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: too expensive or you don't want to go down that road, 508 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 1: then just say, like, I need a time frame where 509 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 1: we can revisit this. Can we revisit it in three 510 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 1: months or six months or you know, definitely, don't get 511 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 1: pregnant behind his back tricking it. Don't do that, please, 512 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 1: because that is not going to be good for your marriage. 513 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: Cut that's a better answer, So I defer to that answer. Action. Okay, 514 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,439 Speaker 1: you can't do that on this podcast. You give your advice, 515 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 1: but at very at least I can I can show 516 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:12,119 Speaker 1: that I've growth during the he's growing during the podcast. 517 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: This is unbelievable. What do you have to say on 518 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 1: the topic. I mean, I'm somebody who's sort of in 519 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: the throes of this right now, where I'm like, I'm 520 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: thirty seven. It's sort of like do we or don't we? 521 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,719 Speaker 1: And I mean, we're in this position where it's if 522 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,639 Speaker 1: it happens, it happens, but it is tough. We got married. 523 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 1: I was very young. I was a baby at twenty three. 524 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 1: When we got married. He was twenty nine, and he 525 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 1: really wanted to have kids and I never wanted to 526 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: have kids. And over the years it's sort of shifted 527 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 1: where I'm like, yeah, I could see that being a 528 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: relationship I want to have in the future with a child, 529 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,120 Speaker 1: and now he's sort of but everything's going so well, 530 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 1: like why would we want to change that and have 531 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: a baby? So I don't know. We're sort of in 532 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: some murky waters together, but it's also kind of nice 533 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 1: to both be in a murky spot together. Then you're 534 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: both on the same page with each other. Nobody's pressuring 535 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: or forcing the other person, and that just is never 536 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 1: a good approach. So that's your advice. Be murky so 537 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: stuck on that al right, Well, Blair, let us know 538 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,439 Speaker 1: if and when he decides he wants to get pregnant. 539 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,160 Speaker 1: I guess also make him watch the new one, because 540 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 1: what's special. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was like, wait, 541 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 1: what do we talk? I'm sorry by that, of course 542 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: endlessly confusing. So our next submission is from a caller. 543 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: Rachel says, Dear Chelsea, I'm the youngest sibling out of three, 544 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 1: and I seem to be the only one who gets 545 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: along with everyone, which has made me kind of the 546 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: glue for the whole family. One of my sisters is 547 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: going through a divorce, and unfortunately it's not been a 548 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: very amicable one. It seems that her soon to be 549 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: ex husband is being as petty, hurtful, and reactive as possible. 550 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 1: They have two children, ages five and two, and those 551 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: kids are everything to me. My brother in law and 552 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: I have been in each other's lives for thirteen years now. 553 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: She's twenty seven, so that's a lot of her life. 554 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 1: And he was always the brother I never had. When 555 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,880 Speaker 1: he and my sister are starting having issues, he would 556 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: always turn to me for advice. He'd call me almost 557 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,679 Speaker 1: daily for months, and I'd always pick up, even though 558 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: it was causing me tremendous emotional stress. Being dragged into 559 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 1: the middle of their problems. Unfortunately, when things took a 560 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: legal turn, I basically had to step back and let 561 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,879 Speaker 1: the court take action. It's been about five months now 562 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 1: and my brother in law and I have not spoken. 563 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,120 Speaker 1: Now here's the messy part. I'm getting married in December 564 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: of this year. Before my sister and her husband's issues 565 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 1: got serious, I asked my niece and nephew to be 566 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: my flower girl and ring bearer in my wedding, which 567 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: of course they excitedly accepted. I can't imagine my wedding 568 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 1: day without them. There just one big problem. My brother 569 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 1: in law has custody of the kids the week of 570 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,040 Speaker 1: my wedding, and I have a very strong feeling he 571 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: will not let them come to the wedding. I've already 572 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: reached out to him by sending him a heartfelt email, 573 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 1: but he has not replied. I sent that email two 574 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: months ago. If my sister were to ask him to 575 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: trade weeks, he would immediately do the opposite of what 576 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: she asks, just to hurt her. I don't know what 577 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 1: to do from here on out, and was just hoping 578 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 1: that you have any advice on how to get through 579 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: to a very stubborn person who's hurting and in a 580 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: lost place. Rachel. Oh, that is such a bummer. Hi, Rachel, Hi, 581 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: how are you hi? All right? This is Mike. He's 582 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 1: our guest today for Big Leah. And you know Catherine 583 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 1: because you've probably touched base with her, yes, Hi Rachel. 584 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,400 Speaker 1: Oh God, Rachel, that is such a bad position to 585 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,760 Speaker 1: be in. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it sucks. It's all right. 586 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,480 Speaker 1: I've kind of accepted it as it is, because now 587 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 1: it's been about three months since he's replied and talking 588 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 1: with my sister, Like, he hasn't chilled out at all. 589 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: So he's like legally bound to reply to her because 590 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 1: of the kids obviously, But yeah, I don't expect to reply. 591 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: I haven't reached out again. He has full custody of 592 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: the kids. No, it's split fifty. Oh, so he just 593 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,760 Speaker 1: has them during the time that you're getting married, and 594 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 1: she's offered to trade until that would mean he would 595 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: get Thanksgiving this year, Christmas this year, and Christmas next year. 596 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 1: And did he respond to that? Huh, he's just doing 597 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: it to be ugly. Yeah, But like, my niece is 598 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 1: really excited for the wedding, and I mean we have 599 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: to start buying stuff like her little flower girl dress 600 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: and everything, so we kind of need to know. Oh god, 601 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 1: what a devastating conundrum. I know. My instinct is like, Okay, 602 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,960 Speaker 1: can the niece ask the father Daddy, I want to 603 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 1: go to the wedding, But I don't know how you 604 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 1: want to involve young children like that, right, And she 605 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 1: doesn't know yet about the whole situation. She just knows 606 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 1: she's going. She knows she's going. Yeah, we haven't told 607 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: her basically that her dad has said she can't go. 608 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: And she's five. She's five, Okay, Well I would say 609 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 1: when you see her next, you'll see her next, right 610 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 1: before the wedding, obviously, to talk to her about it 611 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: and about the excitement of a flower girl being a 612 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: flower girl, so that she can bring that information back 613 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 1: to her dad with her. And I hear what you're 614 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 1: saying about it backfiring. But it's much harder to say 615 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 1: no to your kid than it is to say no 616 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 1: to your ex wife. Yeah, that's true. Also, is it 617 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: is the wedding close to where you live or now? 618 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 1: It's about three hours Houston and Austin, So I mean 619 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 1: there is something to be said for bargaining with something 620 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: longer versus shorter, like we'll get her for the day, 621 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: or we'll get we'll get the kids for the day 622 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,840 Speaker 1: and then trade a week for it or something like that. Yeah, 623 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: she's offered any of a year and he hasn't responded 624 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 1: to that. So sorry. Yeah, I think you can just 625 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 1: keep pressing it, you know what I mean. I don't 626 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 1: think you should give up. I think you should talk 627 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:52,959 Speaker 1: to your niece, and I think you should send him 628 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: another email. Don't make it long, just make it short, assistinct, 629 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 1: and just say this is one of the most important 630 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: days of my life. I understand what a difficult time 631 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 1: you're going through. I understand that tensions are high, but 632 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 1: can you please just think of me on this occasion 633 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 1: and think of your daughter and the experience that we 634 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 1: could share together, and make it short and sweet, and 635 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 1: you know, just throw it out there one more time, 636 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 1: and also tell your niece so that she can go 637 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: home without information and talk to her dad about it. 638 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,160 Speaker 1: But I don't think when you're talking to your niece 639 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 1: that's so tricky, because like you don't want her to 640 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: go back and say I'm going to the wedding, because 641 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 1: then then he feels like he's been stripped of his 642 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 1: decision making power, which is clearly what he's holding onto. Right, 643 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: I'm also imagining like this angry Texan man. Yeah, like 644 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: I'm just picture I'm wearing a cowboy hat, Texas man. 645 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: He's not your typical Texas man. Oh he's not. Okay, 646 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 1: how would you describe him? He's a very like prideful person, 647 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 1: played basketball in college, and he was raised by a 648 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: single mother and so he's very independent. So yeah, it 649 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 1: just sucks because he's so angry with my sister because 650 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 1: she was ready to finally get a divorce. But he's 651 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: really only hurting me and my niece and she I 652 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: thought we were very close, and so that hurts as well. 653 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I lost one of my closest friends, but 654 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: I can accept that. But it sucks for my sister. 655 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: But also it's my wedding, and yeah, my niece isience yea, 656 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: And I just think in your next email, you should 657 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 1: definitely just say it again like this is from love. 658 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,400 Speaker 1: Please don't take this experience away from us based on 659 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: what happened between you and my sister. This is about you. 660 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 1: What's your niece's name? Marley Marley. Marley, and I want 661 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,960 Speaker 1: to share this. I want her to remember my wedding day. 662 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 1: I want her to be a part of this. This 663 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 1: is like a historical family moment. And I know things 664 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: suck and you're upset, but I didn't do this, and 665 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: Marley certainly didn't do anything right. That's true. You need 666 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: to say that should I email him or should I 667 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 1: actually text him or give him a call? Yeah, whatever 668 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,680 Speaker 1: you think you're most comfortable with. I would give him 669 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: a call if you think he might answer that your call. 670 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I always think it's better writing. I just 671 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,720 Speaker 1: find to be a little bit more people have more 672 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 1: reflection on. When you can read something a few times 673 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: and then you see the points that somebody's making, it 674 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: kind of lands a little bit more heavily. And so 675 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: I would send the email and then if you don't 676 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: care back from him again, then you can text him 677 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: or call him. But yeah, don't give up. You have 678 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 1: nothing to lose. That's true. I am already accepted not 679 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,959 Speaker 1: having her, So I just got to keep trying because 680 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:31,000 Speaker 1: you can't be disappointed anymore. Yeah, I remember to impress 681 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:33,439 Speaker 1: that this is a family moment. This is your niece. 682 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 1: That's never going to change, and why should she miss 683 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 1: your wedding? Why should she be punished because of anything. 684 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,040 Speaker 1: We're willing to make compromises here. We're willing to give 685 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,239 Speaker 1: you them on Christmas right now. He knows he's in 686 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 1: the power seats, so he's probably because why wouldn't he 687 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: want them for both Christmas Is and Thanksgiving if he's 688 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,799 Speaker 1: feeling like that. So I bet you he's probably thinking 689 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 1: about it and just holding his power and doesn't want 690 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: to give it away until the very last minute. If 691 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 1: he's so angry and prideful. Yeah, that's exactly what my 692 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,320 Speaker 1: sister said, because she was saying if he were to 693 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 1: say no, she thinks he would just say it right 694 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: then and there. Okay, So don't give up, hope, just 695 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,400 Speaker 1: keep trying. Yeah. She and I talked a little bit 696 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 1: about this, and I had asked if he has other 697 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: family and Rachel he said, he's clothes with his mom 698 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: as well. Right, Yeah, so that might be another angle 699 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:21,160 Speaker 1: to you know, if you don't hear back from a call, 700 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 1: you don't hear back from an email, to go talk 701 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,440 Speaker 1: to his mom and implore her, like we really want this, 702 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,279 Speaker 1: we love him, we love her. The kids but I 703 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,320 Speaker 1: can see from her face that that might not be 704 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: the best character. Like, yeah, but you know what, she's 705 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,800 Speaker 1: a mother, yeah, and a grandma, Yeah, and a grandmother. 706 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 1: And there's there's a way into everybody. I mean, some 707 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,759 Speaker 1: people there's no way in, but there you know, you 708 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 1: just have to work under the assumption if this is 709 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 1: something that's so important to you, which obviously it is, 710 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,879 Speaker 1: you just kind of have to try every avenue. Yeah, 711 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,800 Speaker 1: the the extreme, this is the comedic. Non don't do 712 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 1: this version. I hate my sister too, but listen, but listen, 713 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: I want what's best for the kids. Know sucks, but yeah, 714 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,399 Speaker 1: that would be a good avenue to probably, But no, really, 715 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 1: you have an awesome sister. If she's willing to give 716 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,640 Speaker 1: up two Christmas in a row to like make sure 717 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: her kids can come to your wedding, oh my gosh, 718 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,959 Speaker 1: are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, listen, 719 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,200 Speaker 1: you're gonna have an incredible day no matter what. And 720 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 1: if it works out, which hopefully it will, that would 721 00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:32,959 Speaker 1: be great. It's going to be great regardless of whether 722 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,680 Speaker 1: they're there or not. It's not the end of the world. 723 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,919 Speaker 1: It's just a bummer. And so you know, I don't 724 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: want you to like spend your day thinking about who's 725 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 1: not there. To spend your day thinking about who's there. 726 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,319 Speaker 1: It's like when you're performing stand up and people are 727 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,400 Speaker 1: pissed if it's not sold out. It's like focus on 728 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 1: the people that are sitting there about tickets, not on 729 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 1: the fifty seats that are empty. For sure. And if 730 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 1: for some reason it really doesn't work out and he 731 00:36:55,400 --> 00:37:00,160 Speaker 1: really refuses, like schedule a little photo shoot and have 732 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,279 Speaker 1: her put on her dress and you put on your 733 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: dress and you guys can dance around the living room 734 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:08,080 Speaker 1: or take pictures in the garden, but like do something special. Good. 735 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 1: That's a cute idea. I like that too. So many options. Yeah, yeah, well, 736 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,080 Speaker 1: thank you guys. Let us know what happens. Okay, Rachel, 737 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 1: Well for sure, I'm going to reach out to him 738 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,960 Speaker 1: probably today. Okay, good, good, and congratulations on your wedding. 739 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,160 Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you so much. So it's good talk 740 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:31,680 Speaker 1: to you guys. Bye. See how serious this sh it is. 741 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,800 Speaker 1: It was supposed to be a fun podcastle I know, 742 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,799 Speaker 1: I know this is how it is all the time. 743 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,840 Speaker 1: People think I'm a doctor. Oh, I know this is 744 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,440 Speaker 1: I mean, but you've you both have good solutions. I mean, 745 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 1: I don't have much for these folks. Now you have 746 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 1: a male perspective. That's important. Were talking about men and 747 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,759 Speaker 1: both of these situations, right, you know. So it's good 748 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,640 Speaker 1: to have a male perspective, especially a straight mail, because 749 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,440 Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of straight mails on this 750 00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,080 Speaker 1: podcast for obvious reasons. And you're somebody that is not 751 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,439 Speaker 1: like that. So it's nice to have a nice male 752 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:09,080 Speaker 1: opinion to be implemented or incorporated into this. Just imagining though, 753 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,880 Speaker 1: the guy when you're so angry, it's like, buddy, let 754 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,640 Speaker 1: it go. Why are you holding onto anger? It's like 755 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,279 Speaker 1: cancer causing Yeah. Have you ever been angry like that? 756 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 1: I've had. Yeah. You know, my dad growing up was 757 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 1: always had an anger streak, and I feel like it 758 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,360 Speaker 1: it boils in me. But because I grew up with 759 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,719 Speaker 1: a dad who is angry, I keep it inside. Yeah, 760 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I'm not explosive, sort of never shout. Yeah. 761 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,600 Speaker 1: I can't imagine you yelling at anybody. Yeah, definitely, it's 762 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 1: a It's a real emotion comes through me. Do you 763 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,720 Speaker 1: get angry I used to get Yeah, I get angry. 764 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,320 Speaker 1: I get pissed because I have a temper, but I 765 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,279 Speaker 1: know how to regulate it and I don't act on 766 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,719 Speaker 1: it most of the time. I used to what's your 767 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: trick for for regulating it? I just know now, like 768 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 1: I've been to therapy, Like I went for intensive therapy 769 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,040 Speaker 1: for like two years. I had someone I'm like, fix me, 770 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:04,479 Speaker 1: Why am I yelling at people? And like I would 771 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,360 Speaker 1: fly off the handle at someone a stranger if they 772 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: did something, And now I'm just like, no, it doesn't matter, 773 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,680 Speaker 1: Like just be cool. It's just better to have. My 774 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,680 Speaker 1: trick is just if I'm being reactive. If I feel that, 775 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 1: I don't, I walk away, Like I literally just go 776 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,000 Speaker 1: in another room, walk walk down the street. I'm like, 777 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,400 Speaker 1: you're never acting like that again. You've done too much 778 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,080 Speaker 1: work on yourself to reduce yourself, and I always just 779 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,080 Speaker 1: feel like you're kind of negating all of the positivity 780 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 1: that you put out in the world when you act 781 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,200 Speaker 1: like an asshole. Yeah, so I just remind myself of that. 782 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 1: That's really good. Here's the good idea joke about my 783 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 1: dad or he would get so angry and he wasn't 784 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 1: even sure why. He'd be like, goddamn it. I'm eating pretzels, 785 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,320 Speaker 1: you know, like, is he angry? Is he hungry? What 786 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 1: is the emotion being expressed? But that was that was 787 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,439 Speaker 1: that was always my Yeah. And the other one ahead 788 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:55,360 Speaker 1: was true from childhood is where's that goddamn horrible phone? 789 00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:00,400 Speaker 1: And uh, and my mom's role in the family was 790 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:05,479 Speaker 1: to just find the portable phone. And I always feared 791 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 1: that one day they forget what the end of the 792 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 1: joke is. But gosh, it was so years, so many 793 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,680 Speaker 1: years ago, you know how sometimes you have jokes or 794 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,760 Speaker 1: like twenty years old and you're like, I remember exactly. 795 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,239 Speaker 1: But my dad, honestly, like he would be like, God, 796 00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 1: damn what I mean, preszls? Goddamn what wears the portable phone? 797 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,000 Speaker 1: And I always grew up around that, and I was like, 798 00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that, but I do feel 799 00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,960 Speaker 1: the emotion. He feels like the rage sometimes how come 800 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 1: this thing is so wrong? Yeah? I mean Also, my 801 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: dad had a really bad temper and which to punish him, 802 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,400 Speaker 1: my mom would hide the remote control. That was his 803 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 1: punishment because she was passive aggressive and she couldn't go 804 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,640 Speaker 1: head to head with him in the arguing department, so 805 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,520 Speaker 1: she would just rearrange furniture and move things around so 806 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,919 Speaker 1: he would be more confused about And that was her way. 807 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:54,719 Speaker 1: And then she'd go upstairs to her bedroom and like 808 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,440 Speaker 1: go to sleep at six o'clock, which is also a 809 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,600 Speaker 1: trade I picked up from my mother. I love to 810 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,480 Speaker 1: be in bed, love it at early hours. And when 811 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,320 Speaker 1: it's light out and I get into bed and I 812 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 1: have like a nice sandwich on my nightstand and like 813 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 1: three hours of television ahead of me, I cannot be happier. 814 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: I know. That's what single people can do. Well. I 815 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:13,960 Speaker 1: don't want to say, Mike, thanks to the miracle of 816 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,440 Speaker 1: the Internet. I do remember how you finish that joke, 817 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:21,280 Speaker 1: because I listened to it. Was that they eventually invented 818 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,759 Speaker 1: portable phones that had like a pager and they would beep, 819 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 1: and so your parents, you know, could get a divorce 820 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,560 Speaker 1: because there was no world from your mom anymore. That's right. 821 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:35,479 Speaker 1: That's a very good Yeah, good job, I mean, thanks 822 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:43,160 Speaker 1: to the Internet. Okay, what do we have next, Catherine? Okay, 823 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,360 Speaker 1: so this is from Emma. Emma's here with us as 824 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 1: well as a little bit lighter. Jesus, Dear Chelsea, my 825 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: name is Emma. I'm twenty nine years old. I live 826 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,759 Speaker 1: in Toronto, Ontario, and I'm too happy. The past few 827 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 1: years were some of the worst years of my life. 828 00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,920 Speaker 1: As a social work manager at a health care for 829 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 1: facility for seniors, I had to watch my clients drowning 830 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,239 Speaker 1: in the pandemic. I was stuck in a relationship with 831 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,400 Speaker 1: a serial cheater, was staring at fifteen thousand dollars of 832 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,000 Speaker 1: credit card debt and completely neglecting my physical health. Cut 833 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,480 Speaker 1: to today, my debt is paid off. I'm living in 834 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,359 Speaker 1: my dream apartment, think Carrie in Sex in the city, 835 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,439 Speaker 1: driving my dream car. I've picked up a second job 836 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,160 Speaker 1: with a promotion on the way. I'm healthier than ever, 837 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,439 Speaker 1: with an amazing group of friends, and I'm in love 838 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:30,120 Speaker 1: with the most wonderful, handsome kind man. So what's your problem? Right? Oh, 839 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,880 Speaker 1: wait for it. There have been countless times in the 840 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,600 Speaker 1: past several months where I'm bursting with gratitude on the 841 00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,240 Speaker 1: verge of tears. I'm on cloud nine. I had previously 842 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,480 Speaker 1: dated garbage men and not the city employee kind. This 843 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,560 Speaker 1: man encourages me, supports me, makes me laugh, but acknowledges 844 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,799 Speaker 1: I'm funnier, loves my friends. My mom says he looks 845 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,359 Speaker 1: like a guy from a Hallmark Christmas movie. He's normal 846 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,000 Speaker 1: in the best ways, and I want to spend my 847 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:57,959 Speaker 1: life with him. Recently, however, we've started talking about moving 848 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,120 Speaker 1: in together later this year. For some reason, the last 849 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,040 Speaker 1: time we spoke about this, I had a pit in 850 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,239 Speaker 1: my stomach. What if I didn't enjoy my single time enough? 851 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,200 Speaker 1: What about my cute, solw carry apartment? Is there going 852 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 1: to be enough excitement with all this nice nonsense? The 853 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,600 Speaker 1: darkest parts of my own demons tell me I'll self 854 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: sabotage my way out of this, or even worse, I'll 855 00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 1: get bored. How do I ensure my hard work and 856 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 1: manifestation of all this good doesn't go to waste? How 857 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:26,160 Speaker 1: do I make myself open and unafraid to the love 858 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:30,040 Speaker 1: I deserve? Emma, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is Mike bro 859 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:36,200 Speaker 1: big Leiah. He's our special guest today and that's how Yeah. 860 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm great. I'm just on a bit of a break 861 00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:41,520 Speaker 1: from work, so I popped home. Yeah, what do you do? 862 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,959 Speaker 1: I'm a social worker. Oh, good for you. That's nice. 863 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:46,920 Speaker 1: Mike had a lot he thought there was a lot 864 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,799 Speaker 1: of unpacked I'm gonna let him take the lead because 865 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 1: it's a two partner in a certain way, Like she 866 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,480 Speaker 1: was saying that the last two and a half years 867 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,240 Speaker 1: or such. Hell yeah, I feel like this is always 868 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,600 Speaker 1: worth pointing out. The last two and a half years 869 00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 1: have been complete in total hell for like free, awful 870 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 1: and like we should never stop talking about you know 871 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,800 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it's so fucking mad, and I 872 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,959 Speaker 1: feel like sometimes we're all playing it cool, like oh yeah, okay, 873 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,359 Speaker 1: we're doing our best, whenever it's like no, no, it's 874 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:20,719 Speaker 1: a horrible, unprecedented, once a hundred years situation. It's like 875 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,800 Speaker 1: war times, right. So that's so that's part one. I 876 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:27,800 Speaker 1: feel like absolutely want to hang lantern on that. And 877 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,320 Speaker 1: then the second thing is having to do with like, 878 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:32,479 Speaker 1: are you if you're afraid of moving in with someone? 879 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,520 Speaker 1: I would just say just don't move in, just wait. 880 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,840 Speaker 1: I would wait, I just wait on that, because it's like, 881 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,560 Speaker 1: what's the rush? I don't get the unless there's a 882 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,279 Speaker 1: rush thing that I don't know about. Are you do 883 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,279 Speaker 1: you feel comfortable waiting to move in? Or is that 884 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,680 Speaker 1: something you Why is there a rush? I mean, ideally, ideally, 885 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,040 Speaker 1: I agree with you. I think two years sounds nice 886 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:52,840 Speaker 1: to me. I think you know, you never get that 887 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,719 Speaker 1: time when you're dating back like it's such a nice time, 888 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,400 Speaker 1: especially if you really are enjoying each other's company. I mean, like, 889 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,200 Speaker 1: I agree, what's the rush? I wish that finances weren't 890 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,360 Speaker 1: what they are, and I wish that rent wasn't what 891 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,440 Speaker 1: it is, and I wish that that wasn't such a 892 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,960 Speaker 1: huge factor because if we're looking, you know, if we 893 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,959 Speaker 1: really want to spend our life together and we're looking 894 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,919 Speaker 1: to build for the future, saving like ten fifteen grand 895 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,800 Speaker 1: in one year, it makes logical sense so that it 896 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,600 Speaker 1: can pay off later on. I mean, he's with me 897 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,520 Speaker 1: six nights a week, you know, I can have those 898 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,440 Speaker 1: conversations with him where we can look for that time 899 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,840 Speaker 1: where we can spend separately so we can preserve some 900 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,960 Speaker 1: of the mystery. I would agree, I would love to 901 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,080 Speaker 1: wait a little bit longer. But there's you know, there's 902 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,360 Speaker 1: other factors. I guess. No, it's definitely a financial like 903 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,000 Speaker 1: the housing markets insane right now. I know, but that's 904 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,200 Speaker 1: fifteen or ten thousand dollars. Like I understand your social 905 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,200 Speaker 1: worker and that you're working within your salary, but I 906 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,880 Speaker 1: really don't think you should make decisions based on finances 907 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,759 Speaker 1: if you can't. If you can, you know, like that's 908 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,239 Speaker 1: not the right reason to move in with someone. I 909 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,279 Speaker 1: want to say from your entire First of all, I 910 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,280 Speaker 1: want to double a piggyback on what Mike said about 911 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,359 Speaker 1: the last two and a half years, because I think 912 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:03,760 Speaker 1: half the people even understand what kind of post traumatic 913 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 1: stress they're going to have in five years from what 914 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,320 Speaker 1: we just all went through. Like some people feel it 915 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,759 Speaker 1: and felt it throughout the pandemic, and some people aren't 916 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,240 Speaker 1: gonna feel anything for two years, and it's like delayed grief. 917 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:17,160 Speaker 1: You know. The other thing is reading listening to your letter. 918 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:22,160 Speaker 1: You need to reread your letter a similar point. That 919 00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:25,640 Speaker 1: is a saboteurs mindset. You just said it out loud. 920 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:29,240 Speaker 1: What's going on. Everything's fine, Everything's working out. You're spending 921 00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,759 Speaker 1: six nights a week with somebody. You obviously are into them, 922 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,080 Speaker 1: You're obviously feeling very strong feelings. Everything in your life 923 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,360 Speaker 1: is going great. Enjoy this moment that you're in without 924 00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,480 Speaker 1: worrying about sucking it up. Make a plan with your 925 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,760 Speaker 1: boyfriend of when you are going to move in together, 926 00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,720 Speaker 1: or when you're gonna talk more seriously about moving in together, 927 00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,040 Speaker 1: and even if it's only like three months before. I 928 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 1: don't know what's your least situation right now, Do you 929 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 1: have a year lease or something? Like? It's stable? Everything stable, 930 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,640 Speaker 1: And I mean realistically, I entered into this lease on 931 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,920 Speaker 1: my own. I got this on my own. I built 932 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,320 Speaker 1: up the money to get this, so, like my trajectory 933 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,200 Speaker 1: at that time was to be paying for this on 934 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,960 Speaker 1: my own. So introducing someone into that it's it's like 935 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,640 Speaker 1: a bonus. But you're right, it's not something that I 936 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,600 Speaker 1: was counting on. Ever. I was also concerned about the 937 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,879 Speaker 1: way you described your boyfriend as being like a Hallmark card. 938 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,600 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I don't know, I don't love 939 00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:20,279 Speaker 1: that like Hallmark cards. Well nobody does. But I mean 940 00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:22,920 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean, you know, that's not the c I 941 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,160 Speaker 1: don't think that's the crux of the letter and of 942 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 1: what you're saying, right, Like, I think if you introduced, 943 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 1: have you guys spoken about living together yet? Yeah? We 944 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,560 Speaker 1: like that's kind of the best part. Like there's nothing 945 00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,960 Speaker 1: that I can't comfortably share with him. I was excited 946 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,879 Speaker 1: to talk about this. You know, it's great. There any 947 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,719 Speaker 1: deep dark you know, things deep down I can air 948 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,560 Speaker 1: out with him and he can, you know, meet me 949 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,640 Speaker 1: there and not take anything personally. The hallmark part is 950 00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:48,840 Speaker 1: just like he's built for mass appeal, Like he is 951 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:54,560 Speaker 1: just jealous who wants to be described as a Hallmark card. 952 00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,560 Speaker 1: So it's wonderful. Yeah, and how long have you guys 953 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,399 Speaker 1: been to get other? Now just kind of a year? Yeah, 954 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,000 Speaker 1: I think you should have a conversation and just say, listen, 955 00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:07,520 Speaker 1: we're all we're both moving in the same direction. I 956 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:11,000 Speaker 1: want to be with you probably you know, for interminably, 957 00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:15,759 Speaker 1: and I and let's let's revisit this subject in six months, 958 00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,239 Speaker 1: because I'm so enjoying this dating and also of having 959 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,520 Speaker 1: our own you know, smaller amounts of personal space, which 960 00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:26,239 Speaker 1: are so important. And let's just revisit this in six months. 961 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,960 Speaker 1: There's no pressure to do anything. And I think you're 962 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,120 Speaker 1: very like you have a lot of self awareness and 963 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:35,120 Speaker 1: just sit in that positivity and understanding that you're lucky 964 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,440 Speaker 1: and being waking up and having gratitude every single day 965 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,200 Speaker 1: is like really the key to having a healthy, happy 966 00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:43,759 Speaker 1: life because obviously things are going to go wrong at 967 00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:45,920 Speaker 1: certain points in your life, but it's important to remember 968 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,759 Speaker 1: what things are going right. And it sounds like so 969 00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:51,040 Speaker 1: many things are happening for you. Yeah, there's this really 970 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:55,040 Speaker 1: funny phenomenon where in times of sadness or anger, the 971 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:58,719 Speaker 1: idea that this too shall pass is so comforting. But then, 972 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 1: you know, on the flip side, when you get this 973 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,280 Speaker 1: happiness and you work this hard and you get whatever 974 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,640 Speaker 1: it is that you're hoping to achieve, it somehow takes 975 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,560 Speaker 1: as a personal loss or personal failing if that happiness 976 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:12,000 Speaker 1: becomes just as fluctuating. So I think gratitude is a 977 00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,000 Speaker 1: really excellent way to kind of combat that and just 978 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,160 Speaker 1: be happy for what it is here and it's expected 979 00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,320 Speaker 1: to go because we can't have the ups without the 980 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,279 Speaker 1: downs too. So I'm working towards being in that state 981 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,640 Speaker 1: of being afraid that this house of cards is just 982 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,640 Speaker 1: going to collapse on me, just to be yeah, just 983 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,439 Speaker 1: to be happy and to live in the present moment 984 00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:35,480 Speaker 1: with it cool. Yeah, I think you're fine, Emma. I 985 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,680 Speaker 1: think you're going to be just fine. Not really worried 986 00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:42,600 Speaker 1: about you. Okay, that's comforting, Thank you, Mike. Are you 987 00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:44,799 Speaker 1: worried about her? No? She seems good and I think 988 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,840 Speaker 1: your advice is good and I think she the gratitude 989 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:49,880 Speaker 1: is smart. Also, you know, it's a good tip for 990 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:54,200 Speaker 1: granted gratitude. Journal Yeah, right down every few days what 991 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,800 Speaker 1: you're grateful for. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, there's something about journaling. 992 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,760 Speaker 1: One of my my therapist told me something once. Journaling 993 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:05,719 Speaker 1: has proven scientific data that you are like releasing emotion right, 994 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,320 Speaker 1: whether it's good or bad. Writing down your thoughts is 995 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,000 Speaker 1: just a great way of reflecting. And so many people 996 00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,360 Speaker 1: don't have time to even reflect. You know, you're running 997 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,920 Speaker 1: around like a chicken with your head cut off half 998 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,000 Speaker 1: the time. I know I am, and you know, when 999 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,520 Speaker 1: I sit down, like this week, I haven't meditated once 1000 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,320 Speaker 1: because I've been in New York. I'm like, well, and 1001 00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 1: I was about to say, well, I don't really have time, 1002 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:24,759 Speaker 1: and then I was like, of course you have time. 1003 00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:26,839 Speaker 1: You can do it when you go to bed. I'm like, well, 1004 00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,600 Speaker 1: then by then I'm ship faced. So I can't really 1005 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 1: meditate when I'm like coming home after you know, at 1006 00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:32,680 Speaker 1: two in the morning here in New York. I've come 1007 00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:34,200 Speaker 1: to New York and act like a rock star. I 1008 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:38,720 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm so is because yeah, it's revitalized 1009 00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,520 Speaker 1: in a major way. But but on journaling front, I 1010 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,239 Speaker 1: in my new show, I have a line where I 1011 00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,239 Speaker 1: say every night I like to write down, or every 1012 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,360 Speaker 1: few nights is the truth. Every few nights I like 1013 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 1: to write down what I'm saddest about or angriest about, 1014 00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:54,239 Speaker 1: because I find that if you write that down, you 1015 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,040 Speaker 1: can see your own life as a story. And when 1016 00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,440 Speaker 1: you see your own life as a story, you can 1017 00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,640 Speaker 1: zoom out and encourage the main character to make better. 1018 00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:06,759 Speaker 1: To sit. Wow, love dropping the bike. Yeah, I love that. 1019 00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:09,280 Speaker 1: That's great. That's really good advice. I love your secret 1020 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:12,640 Speaker 1: public journals. Thanks, thanks so much. I really do that, 1021 00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,799 Speaker 1: and that's good advice. It is my partner. He's really 1022 00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,400 Speaker 1: into journaling. We read his together. So maybe I'll take 1023 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:21,080 Speaker 1: a page out of the cool Cool Thank you Emma 1024 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 1: for calling in and yeah, yeah, just take your time 1025 00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:25,479 Speaker 1: and you're gonna have everything is going to be great. 1026 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,720 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, you guys. I really appreciate this. Sure, 1027 00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:37,880 Speaker 1: Thanks Emma. Bye bye. I love our callers. I know 1028 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,719 Speaker 1: they're so sweet. I know so earnest. I love that. Yeah. Well, 1029 00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,160 Speaker 1: we'll take a quick break and we'll come back to 1030 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:47,880 Speaker 1: wrap up with Mike and Chelsea. What a positive what 1031 00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:55,840 Speaker 1: a positive podcast, Good vibrations. We'll be right back and 1032 00:51:55,960 --> 00:52:00,359 Speaker 1: we're back. Well, Mike, this is a point in our 1033 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,560 Speaker 1: show where we wanted to see if you would like 1034 00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,080 Speaker 1: some advice from Chelsea. Yes, Mike, do you have any 1035 00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,480 Speaker 1: advice that you would like to ask me about. I'm 1036 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:11,080 Speaker 1: multiple multiple things. I'm just trying to narrow down when 1037 00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:18,080 Speaker 1: do you think a friendship is over? I'm being abstract, 1038 00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,040 Speaker 1: but I but I've had a couple of things over 1039 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,719 Speaker 1: the years where I've been like, oh, Okay, I think 1040 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,800 Speaker 1: this friendship just might be Yeah. I think if you 1041 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:30,080 Speaker 1: think that, that's probably it's it. You know, like, that's also, 1042 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,600 Speaker 1: you know, something for you to journal about. Probably. I 1043 00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,279 Speaker 1: used to think friendships ending were a sign of my 1044 00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:40,640 Speaker 1: inability to behave and now I understand that friendships ending 1045 00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:42,960 Speaker 1: are just a part of life. There are people that 1046 00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:45,680 Speaker 1: come in and out for specific periods of time for 1047 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,120 Speaker 1: you to either influence them or for them to influence 1048 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,480 Speaker 1: you or be a comfort or be an inspiration or 1049 00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:53,400 Speaker 1: however the dynamic plays out. And that doesn't mean it 1050 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:56,120 Speaker 1: has to be forever, because really nothing is forever. Everything 1051 00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:59,600 Speaker 1: is short lived or you know, like nothing lasts forever, 1052 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,200 Speaker 1: And it's okay to have a healthier outlook about the 1053 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,320 Speaker 1: ending of a friendship. It's not that bad, and it 1054 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,359 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be an explosive thing. It just has 1055 00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,880 Speaker 1: to be like, listen, we're in different places and you 1056 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,880 Speaker 1: know we're taking a break. If if you even have 1057 00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,200 Speaker 1: to address it, I mean, is it something you have 1058 00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,279 Speaker 1: to address to another person or just to yourself. You 1059 00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,360 Speaker 1: probably like run into the person like a couple of 1060 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,360 Speaker 1: times a year. Yeah, then that's friendship, is what it is. Anyway. 1061 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,279 Speaker 1: It's not close or right, So yeah, I think it's 1062 00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:27,160 Speaker 1: just it's nice to think about it in a way 1063 00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:30,720 Speaker 1: that it's not necessary with a reflection of either person. 1064 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,040 Speaker 1: You're just not on the same page exactly anymore. And 1065 00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:36,400 Speaker 1: then that is an opening also for different people to 1066 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,719 Speaker 1: come into your life. Like there's nothing I love more 1067 00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,800 Speaker 1: than constantly meeting new people and making new friends. That 1068 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,000 Speaker 1: actually it's funny, as you say, when it started to 1069 00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:48,239 Speaker 1: happen is when I became friends and Ryan, Oh really yeah, 1070 00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,680 Speaker 1: I always think that happens. There's a universal balance that 1071 00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:56,040 Speaker 1: happens professionally, personally health wise. When anything you know seesaws 1072 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,879 Speaker 1: in one way, there's always something else that levels everything out. 1073 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:00,799 Speaker 1: And I find that to be true all the time, 1074 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,440 Speaker 1: and I'd like to pay attention to that stuff now. 1075 00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:07,320 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Mike. You're so welcome, You're awesome. 1076 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:09,759 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you came today. I'm so happy 1077 00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:11,879 Speaker 1: to see you. I haven't seen you in forever. It's 1078 00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,719 Speaker 1: been probably twenty years, and and uh, I've just been 1079 00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:18,200 Speaker 1: admiring you from afar for all these years. I'm honored 1080 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,520 Speaker 1: to be on the podcast and I can't wait to 1081 00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:21,600 Speaker 1: have you on working it out. Yeah, we'll definitely do that. 1082 00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,440 Speaker 1: Thank you, Katherine. Would you like to say goodbye to 1083 00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:28,520 Speaker 1: our guest. Bye, Mike. I'm waving. I'm waving him looking 1084 00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,759 Speaker 1: for the camera to waite. I've been following you since 1085 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,960 Speaker 1: you were jumping out of windows. So, oh my gosh, 1086 00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:41,279 Speaker 1: oh so special. Means so much. Thank you so much. 1087 00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,680 Speaker 1: I'm so glad we we made it work. And goodbye 1088 00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:48,480 Speaker 1: and goodbye and goodbye. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, 1089 00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,000 Speaker 1: just send us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at 1090 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,360 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. We have a special call for submissions 1091 00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:58,320 Speaker 1: this week. If you've done any sort of genetic testing 1092 00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,600 Speaker 1: and maybe made a disc recovery about a new family 1093 00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,239 Speaker 1: member or found out that your uncle maybe has a 1094 00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,600 Speaker 1: secret family somewhere, or you found some health markers related 1095 00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,919 Speaker 1: to your DNA that have led you to take certain 1096 00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:13,640 Speaker 1: steps and investigate further, and especially if you'd like advice 1097 00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,640 Speaker 1: about what you found out in your DNA analysis, please 1098 00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:21,319 Speaker 1: write into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear 1099 00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:25,040 Speaker 1: Chelsea is a production of I Heart Radio, executive produced 1100 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,360 Speaker 1: by Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and 1101 00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,080 Speaker 1: engineered by Brad Dickert.