WEBVTT - Challenges (with Brian Guest) 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:04.160 Portions of This Is Americans Live, The improvised documentary podcast, 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:07.720 are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:11.440 and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:14.480 inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.720 hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:23.320 random sentence provided by our revered, omnipotent random sentence Generator. 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:26.239 For more of This is Americans Live, listen to more 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:29.760 episodes of This is Americans Live. I guess and now 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:35.800 your first random sentence. He enjoyed pacticing is ballet in 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:41.960 the bathroom. You didn't really have a place to do it. 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:43.680 It was the only place he had that was private, 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:46.559 the only place where he could be himself. Do do 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:53.680 do Do? Hey, who's in there? I'm in here my stomach, 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:56.279 I've got some serious Did you cook the pork all 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.520 the way I did? Yeah? Well, I'm really working on 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:01.600 something in here. Just give me a five minutes. I'll 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:06.600 give you another five. Right. He was a habit, but 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:08.640 what he didn't know is that he was actually getting 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:10.840 really good. All right? Can I give you my card? 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:15.560 Please take the Yeah, I represent with people and I 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:24.759 have a feeling that maybe there's something we could do together. Yes, 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.400 can I speak to the Lawrence Glenville? Hold on? Hold 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:32.280 to Lawrence Glenville, hold on before I'm a terrible secretary? 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:36.200 Who then is it? Can I speak to you for 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:38.240 a moment? Hold on one second? I'm sorry? Can you 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.360 hold for one second? Yeah? What? So? Um? What are 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:43.280 you gonna do? What? I thought we talked about this 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:48.240 with the with the possible clients. Yeah, and maybe don't 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:52.000 be as vulgar as what as vulgar as vulgar? Vulgar 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:55.160 when you're when they call? Really yes, when we when 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:56.640 I interviewed, I said, do you want me to do 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:58.640 this fucking job? Or now? What do you say? And 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:01.000 I said, I would like you to do the job, 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.440 but just please don't curse as much when you're on 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:07.120 the job. You fucking got it, all right? Okay? So 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:09.280 all right? Can I just pick up this call? Now? 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:10.919 Go ahead? And do I still have to deal with 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.320 your bullshit right now, but please keep it clean? Okay? Hi? 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.680 Are you? Who are you waiting for? Again? I'm still 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.480 holding for Lawrenceville. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna transfer you 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:25.320 to Glenville and try my best to hijack this fucking situation. 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:29.200 Hold please from Mr Glenville, hold up to say what 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:31.920 the fun is your name? Oh, Mike, look and I 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.520 speak to you one more second. And I just transferred 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.560 this call first there's a whole other thing that's about 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.080 to happen. I transfer the call. But Jesus, but I 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:41.600 do want to I do want to speak to you 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:43.720 after this whole thing. Great, you can talk to me 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:46.440 way later. Thank you very much. I'm sorry. What was 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:50.680 your name, Stephen, Stephen old Stephen, Mr Glenville. I'm looking 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:56.639 at you, motherfucker. Mr Glenville. I was given your card. Yes, 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.280 I'd like to represent you. Next thing you knew Stephen 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.360 was in front of UH live studio audience about to 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:06.320 enter a makeshift tiny bathroom. You go dance for three 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:14.000 judges that would decided bathroom dancer with your host Don Yeah, 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.920 my names John. I want to see you dance in 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:22.800 the bathroom now, okay, the other one dancers. I haven't 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:32.320 started yet. Let me you toilet down, okay, please, I 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.240 need now. Nobody knew that there was a continency of 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:38.120 people in the country. You were probably dancing in bathrooms, 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:40.880 but this show figured it out. It turned it into 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:47.160 a syndicated contest Joe called America's bathroom Dancer. Can we 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:51.560 get a dancer? Please? Hi? Hello? And what would you 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:56.600 be dancing next to the toilet? That's exactly what I'll 0:03:56.640 --> 0:04:00.280 be doing, dancing next to toilet. So just dance thing 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:06.480 next to toilet and then that's it. Okay, go hu. 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:13.080 Any of the other judges going to say something about 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:18.360 this toilet dancer? You were dancing on the toilet. Never 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:24.240 before have I seen such a rendition of the one 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.520 you just did I have. I'm not done. Sorry. I 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:32.400 came up as a young lad in Wincestershire, always dreaming 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:34.880 of the day I wouldn't be a judge on a 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:40.560 dancing competition. Well, I went to excuse me? This knock knocking? 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:44.840 Is this bathroom? Yeah, someone's in here. He was a 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:48.200 surprised guest. And you can DestinE who does snuck on 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.440 stage and just stow everybody's hearts. I've seen a lot 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:55.080 of dancing. I've seen toilet dancing. Look I'm just wiggling 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:59.160 like that because I gotta go. And it came brilliant, 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:05.920 your go into Los Angeles congratulation. I gotta go. To 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:08.839 the bathroom. Let's see what some of our other gift 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:12.480 judges think about the should I should we send him 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:16.560 to Los Angeles? Well, I guess. Let me answer your 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:22.240 question with another question. What is dancing? Where is dancing? 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:27.400 What is bathroom? Where is bathroom? What? I was a 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:34.200 young boy in winston Shire, finnal coimpetition came around Los Angeles. 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:38.120 The bathroom dancers gathered, competing for one spot to be 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:43.160 the ultimate bathroom dancwer. I'm nervous. This is what I'm nervous, 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:46.400 So nervous. I'm more nervous. I'm nervous because you guys 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.479 are I don't know, not that great. I'm just saying, look, 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:51.560 I'm just being honest. I'm not psyching you out. I'm 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:53.680 just saying, maybe practice a little bit more before you 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.479 come and play with the big boys. Okeep bine. That 0:05:56.600 --> 0:06:00.320 guy wasn't That wasn't very nice at all. Was about 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.200 two things. First, I was just nervous about the competition. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.000 But now I'm kind of nervous that that everyone knows 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.159 in the bathroom dancing community that you just have to 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:10.200 be nice. I know. Okay, we're ready for dance today. Yeah, 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:15.520 we're gonna go in orders. Okay, you're Marca? Yeah yeah, Marco, 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:19.159 you're going up first, Kevin's You're going up sick. You 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:23.080 gotta be honest. I'm a little nervous to go third. Kevin, Well, 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:27.160 there's just I'm sure I'll go thirds or New York. 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:31.760 I don't mind going forth. Chris Staph what about you? 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:35.560 I would like to go easy if fifth spot? Thank you? 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:40.520 Dan Constein, wait about you? Whatever? Cog are only K 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:44.520 nine dancer? What are you about you? Can I ask 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:48.160 a real quick question? I have more comla? Did I say, Kevin? 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.719 That's me? Okay? Then yeah, go ahead? Yeah. Did you 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:52.840 see the guy that was in here that he gets 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:54.760 He just kind of swung by it, kind of insult 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.760 us and then he left. Is he actually a competitor? 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.280 Because I don't see him anywhere in this role. That's 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.800 a resident psych out guy. He just comes and psychs 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.159 you out and then he lives. He's not a contestant. 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.200 It just comes in, psychs and lives because that's part 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:12.000 of the game. Baby, have you never bathroom this before? Professionally? 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.320 I gotta be honest. He psyched me out and he 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.160 did his job. Yeah, but now I'm trying to do 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.160 my job and I'm nervous and I'm a slide down 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:20.360 because he did his job, not allowing you to do 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:24.040 you allow me to please take over. I was not 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:28.840 psyched out by this man. I will dance for you now. 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:30.840 Can you please tell me your name so I could look? 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:38.600 You said it earlier, said it was I already have 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:48.920 your kid go bathroom? Oh no, no, no, America's bathroom dirt, sir. No, 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:53.720 I'm sorry. Wait last blast one American bathroom dirt, sir, 0:07:55.800 --> 0:08:01.160 one more time. Please, I'm sorry. There was a guy 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.320 here earlier and he kind of got in my head. 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:07.960 Uh burke and bathroom dancer? Does he work here or what? 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:11.960 Who tell us your story? Well, to be honest, I'm 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.680 a bus driver from Iowa City, Iowa. How did to 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:20.720 go to the bathroom? I apparently bounced into a bathroom 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.880 dancing competition? How did take How did take a Can 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:26.360 I say drop a douce? Let us say that? Yeah? 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.440 You can say drop adu? How to drop a deuce? 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:33.040 And they were having like some sort of dancing things. 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:35.599 Some guy was like an announcing thing. I had a 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.600 pooper bad? Did I say that? Yeah? You could say poop, Sure, 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:42.160 go ahead, had a poop? Had a boop so bad? 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:46.360 It was? I was moving around? Can I say that? 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:48.000 Can I say that too? I was moving around a 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:51.520 little bit. You could say that, yeah, So, um, we 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.319 need to talk about the vulgarity of some of your contestants. 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:57.800 Which one the one that I just do? I just 0:08:57.840 --> 0:08:59.840 do the interview packets, I don't really Okay, Well, you're 0:08:59.920 --> 0:09:04.040 a post kind of drive and allowing a contestant to 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:07.160 say something like moving around m m. That's round upon 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:09.439 by the sensors. Well, what would you like him to 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:13.280 say other than moving around shuffling a bit, now moving 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.640 its sucking feet a lot and in a rhythmic way. 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:24.640 If you could do that thing, please thank you. This 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:27.160 is This is Americans Live. I'm your host Storry with 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.839 producer Andy. Our special guest contributor for this episode is Brian. 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.679 Guest in a show, we'll be using our trustee sentence 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.559 generator to bring you a story and pre improvise acts. 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.160 This week's theme challenges, they all have them, we all 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.440 face them on a daily basis. But do we have 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.920 a rise to the challenge. We're gonna explore that today 0:09:45.920 --> 0:10:00.839 in this episode, stay with us Act one. I'll turned 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:04.720 in the research paper on Friday. Otherwise you would have 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.360 not passed the class and failed. It was a dealer 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.280 die situation for Lyle. You've been trying to graduate for 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.640 several years, but I didn't get past the thesis stage. 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:17.040 But this time you thought maybe things were different. Little 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.000 did he know he was still a lazy piece of ship. 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:24.840 And here is right on time, right out. I feel 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.200 free to feel pretty great. It right here in front 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.240 of me. It's not a math paper. I have to 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.720 take it home and read it. You don't want to 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:33.640 do you don't want to do that. Teach, you don't 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:36.040 want to do that. Just just glance over real quick 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:38.920 and just it's it's all. It's all there. Look, Lyle, 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:41.760 I know that I have tenure here, and I also 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.520 know that you've been here for more than that. And 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.679 I get it. You have seniority over me at this 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:49.199 university because simply put, you haven't graduated. Yeah, well this 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:51.319 time I'm going to for sure just read you know, 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:53.800 just just kind of scam over that. What I just 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.760 hand it in and work that way. I have to 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.280 read it at that, do you understand? Yeah? Okay, Fine, 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:02.120 take it home and on some really dark sunglasses. Maybe 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.439 close your eyes, maybe just move your head real real 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:07.560 quick and read it. Then you'll see it's all. It's perfect, 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.199 you know I I might do that. I like these 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.640 kind of interesting approaches. I think I might do that 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.360 even better. Let me have the paperback. You go home. 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:18.880 Imagine that it's probably really good. Give me a grade boom, 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.440 but a baying I graduate? Yeah, I had to stay 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:23.760 another year. It didn't work. Each I had to get 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:26.360 his professor, who he had seniority over since he had 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.160 been at the university then longer than him, to just 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:31.560 skim over his paper and give him an A. But 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.880 there he was, your twelve at the university, trying to graduate. 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:40.040 All right here it is just ignore the hardcover and 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.120 the it's not an actual paper. Just ignore that grade it. 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:46.400 Give me an A and I'll move. I'll graduate finally. 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:51.520 Let me see this well again? Really? Hello, words? Now 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:55.200 what you have disposable income? Do I know how you 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:58.760 staying here that long? This is my twelfth year. I 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.760 you just get paid for twelve years of college. They 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.920 just kind of let me hang out. Listen to me, 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:10.840 I'm paying credit. WHOA that seems exorbitant. I'm getting ripped off. 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:14.960 It seems a little much credit. Can you just here 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.480 Willy kneeling in it like there's nothing look at it. 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:19.360 Give me a paper, give me that. There's that book. 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:21.840 It's a good cover. What is this? It's just it's 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:23.800 a book. I tried to pass it off as this 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:27.000 is my paper. Is a Bible? You put? You grab 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:30.200 a bible? Still Bible. You stole bible. Wow, you stole 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.480 fucking bible. Borrow the fucking Bible. He was suspended from 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.040 school for a brief amount of time. The university had 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:40.360 gone to was a church university. The ship one one 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.400 of the rules, besides not cheating, it was also not 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.920 to steal bibles. And I did that and I did 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:48.840 it both the same one felt swoop cheating and stealing bibles. 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:54.640 He had to repeat another year. Hi, yeah, names Lyle, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.920 this is my fourteenth year. And bring him young. I mean, 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.440 if anybody needs need to show you around, I have 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.440 a pretty good lay of the land. While you're so 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:10.400 freaking old. What are you doing? Is that a no 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:15.360 fear shirt? Yeah? So what high school did you go to? Um? 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:20.000 I went to center Field High. Oh yeah, I feel high. 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:25.680 Ye stay off my chick, Shane, No, listen what Rebecca 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:29.440 swear to God? You know what you're gonna say? What 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:33.920 am I going to say? Just beautiful? Beautiful? You always 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.520 say it doesn't change if you're so iggressive, but they 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:40.760 are night. I think should have changed in these four 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:44.200 thing years had that been here, Shane, continue with your thing. 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:49.080 Lyle back the funk off man knows you're bmoc here. Okay, 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:52.400 you're fucking big man stands for I've been around the 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:53.880 block a few times. I know it's a big man 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.880 of Cambus. Yeah, yeah, you're big old man. Campus motherfucker 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:04.400 who Yeah? How could you? I hid? My god? Lyle 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:08.319 found himself in the school hospital is back. I addic 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.400 it started acting up. Dr walked in gel Lyle the 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:17.600 ly sorry. I was tending to another patient. Lyle, I 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.000 have some bad news. You're don't have to speak up 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:23.000 in this year, fly. I have some badness. We'n have 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:24.960 to put you down. But we're gonna have to put 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:26.960 you down. So can I get in the right here. 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.400 We're gonna have to put you down. And the sciatic 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.800 has been acting up. It's all over the place. You're 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:35.040 not gonna you're not gonna be able to go another semester, Buddy, 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:38.080 Can I at least say goodbye to my grandson before 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.280 you do? You have a telephone number? Yeah, his name 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.280 is Kyle hol On. Let me get my jitterbug phone out. 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:46.080 Your grandson's name is Kyle Kyle You guys, what's your 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:50.280 son's name? Styles? Styles like from Penolf. Your last name 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.960 is Styles. Yeah, I'm Kyle Style. Your Lyle Styles. I'm sorry, Yes, 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:58.480 I'm Lyle Styles. Wait, your son is Kyle Styles, Kyle Styles. 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:02.840 My grandson is Kyle. Well, what's your son's name? Style Styles? Okay, 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:04.560 we're gonna have to I'm so sorry. We're gonna have 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.520 to call your son and your grandson and have to 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.240 tell him that we're putting you down. I'm sorry, miss. 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:13.000 Well what about my great granddaughter? What's her name? M right? 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.880 They contacted his children, his son who was a nice 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:22.120 school but still thirty years old. His grandson who was 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.600 in elementary school but clearly in puberty. Okay, I guess 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:27.920 this is it. Pull the plug. If you must, everyone 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.760 say there goodbyes? What was that? Did everyone say their goodbyes? 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.240 Here's the problem is if we've been trying to put 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:36.960 you down for several semesters. Now it's going on for 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.200 a couple of years. You've just been hanging around the 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.280 hospital here, bring him on, and we gotta put you 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:43.680 down at some point, buddy, you can't just keep holding 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:47.240 on this. How about this? Can't you just like hold 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.600 the plug on that alarm clock over there and then 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.160 just kind of pretend you pulled the plug. I mean, 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:54.560 say you pulled it, and then just like you know, 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:55.920 I don't really die, and the just kind of get 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:57.560 easy to like blink your eyes real quickly, close your 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.160 eyes and just leave and then just say, hey, he's dead. Hey, 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:01.880 look hear me out, get my chart, put on some 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.240 really duck sunglasses, just kind of look at it real quick. 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.160 Don't acknowledge the fact that I have several ailments and 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.120 that I'm probably gonna die, okay, and then just we'll 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:20.320 say that I'm dead and then I'll just leap coming 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:24.320 up back to the first A word from our esteemed sponsors, 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:43.960 heay with us, back to interview. Thank you for coming 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:47.120 to our show, Mr guest, Oh, thank you, thank you 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.240 Mr guests for being our guest. Did you easy to 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.360 get that joke? A lot? Growing up like, can I 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.320 be a guest at the guest house? Um? I did 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.640 get that. Yeah, I did get that that joke a 0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:58.600 lot a lot. Was there of a time when he 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:00.840 laughed at it? No, but my I my parents do 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:05.400 have um these like these like towels like in the bathroom, 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.560 like like it's like it says the guesthouse on on 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.600 the towels, which is like hilarious. Would you get up 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.280 new Ark, Delaware? And then um, we decided to come 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:19.320 to California? Yeah, hike, Um twenty years ago. Uh yeah, 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:22.160 I drove across the country in my Honda with all 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:23.879 my stuff packed in it. And I lived in my 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.040 car for a while. Did you really? I did for 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.000 for a few months. Um did you have any room 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:32.680 mates in my car? Just just my boom box? And 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:37.600 I think you know jackets a boom box. She's spend 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.080 so much, so much time with these inanimate objects that 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.879 they just started spouting life for you to keep your company, 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:45.560 kind of like Wilson and that movie Casseway. Yeah, like 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.000 literally we can became my best friends. We actually have 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:57.320 that in our archives. Pride fous I was trying to late. Yeah, 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:02.000 you're just like sticking up Oh, so pristley dude, al right, 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:06.320 surfboard talk? You talking surfboard? Why? Sorry? I thought you 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:09.920 said hot plate, start board? He's talking to you? Is that? 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:14.000 Is that what you're inanimate belonging? So like it's pretty 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:16.879 spot on. Where did you live in Karaood Street corner? 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:20.280 I'm not too far from here actually, um Ventura and 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:24.640 Old Water Canyon talk. My car at the Sportsman's Lodge, 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.480 which does which does not exist anymore? That's right, right, 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:32.680 turn into burned down? Really, Sportsman Lodge burned down? Jesus, 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:37.280 that's sad. It was like iconic. It was a spot right, Helen, 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:38.800 Are you're there for? How long was that in the 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:40.920 parking lot for a few months? Did you set the 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.480 sportsman Lodge fire? Hey? I was hoping we were, I 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:48.640 mean until my hot plate got my surfboard on fire? 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.639 And how did you end up in comedy? You always 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:53.600 doing improperly? Did you do other stuff? I did other 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.159 stuff too? Well? You know, I always loved SNL and 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.359 that sort of thing and whatnot. Um, but I wanted 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:01.040 to like really sort of st wretch, I guess as 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:03.320 an actor because I felt I thought it was gonna 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.160 be a tool to be an actor, right, But then 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.280 I was like, holy sh it, I love this, Like 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.680 this is like sort of addicting, and it just sort 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.040 of took over as far as how I wanted to 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:16.639 spend my time being creative. What do you to make 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:20.400 yourself happy besides this show? Besides this show? Yes, I mean, 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:22.840 this is just the happiest I've been in a while. Guys. 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:26.399 You know, I went to the beach to my kids today, 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.960 so I was kids, I do well. I didn't expect 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:33.320 that to young. I didn't expect it either, well, and 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:37.040 it happened, beautiful thing. And now do they My daughter's five, 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:39.919 and my oldest son is to just turned two. And 0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:42.600 then I have a four month old today. So you 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.680 had a baby during COVID, but I did. I got 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:48.639 pregnant um at the beginning of COVID. Do you feel 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:52.040 like it's difficult to explain to your kids what the 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:55.919 whole COVID situation was like if they I guess they 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:58.520 have some data prior to scratch that question, how long 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:02.520 you've been listening to the show? How long have I 0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:05.359 listen to this show since the beginning, since the beginning? 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:08.840 So okay, we've been on for so many years, several 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:14.720 several Yeah, flagship program, longtime listener. Who is more like 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:18.719 in person? Who you thought would be? Who's more accurate 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:22.840 in your mind when you met us? Me or Andy? Um? 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:27.199 Who you? Yeah, I look like you look like you? 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.520 Can you? Can you describe a lot of people haven't 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:30.960 even seen what I look like? Can you describe what 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:34.320 I look like? Um? Small? You're small. You're a small 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:37.960 person in small like you know, inside and out? Yeah? Well, 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:40.359 I don't know. I'm just judging by the outside, right, 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:44.679 like a smaller, smaller person, longer hair, longer hair than 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:47.359 I expect him, right, whiter hair, And I say, your 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:49.720 hair is gorgeous. It isn't that is It's not as 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:53.160 long as you think. It's just based on the fact 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:55.600 that I'm so small, my hair looks long. But maybe 0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:57.480 that's It's like an an optical illusion sort of thing. 0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:00.160 A normal sized person in my hair beat normally. I've 0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:02.239 never thought of it like that. That's what I'm here 0:21:02.280 --> 0:21:04.200 to do. Give you a perspective. What's you most did? 0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:06.320 A childhood memory? And then we'll move on. The word 0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:09.760 vivid comes at me hard. Um he wrote it. I 0:21:09.920 --> 0:21:12.280 was against the Where did it I could not write 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:15.000 that you did, but I never wrote It's never it's 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:16.920 not even in my vernacular. All right, let's change that. 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:22.679 What's your most act outable childhood memory? My most okay, 0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:25.359 what I was gonna say. What I was gonna say 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:28.520 is is I remember my parents taking me to the 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:32.600 movie Fantasia, the Disney movie Phantasia as a kid. And 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:36.040 you know, us going into like the small Newark, Delaware 0:21:36.080 --> 0:21:37.840 movie theater. They made a big deal of it, like 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:39.520 it was like the big Friday night thing, and you know, 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:41.159 we're gonna go to the movies, and we didn't have 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:42.680 a lot of money, so like kind of movies of 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:44.920 the thing. And then we got to the movie theater 0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:47.399 and we sat there like the first five minutes of Phantasia. 0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:50.800 My parents were like visibly and viscerally angry that the 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:54.840 movie because there's very little nickis it? Basically they're like, 0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:56.199 what did they take their kids to see? Like a 0:21:56.240 --> 0:21:58.560 Disney film and there's no me It's just like there's 0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:01.920 no talking. It's sort of like colors and paints and 0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:04.520 dancy things and some music, and that's what I remember 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:07.000 of a Phantasia. They were pissted and we walked out, Hey, 0:22:07.000 --> 0:22:09.240 we have that in the archives too. Ladies and gentlemen, 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:14.159 Welcome to the six o'clock showing of Fantasia. Who's ready 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:20.680 for Mickey because he won't be appearing. Who's ready for 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:26.400 some goofy goofy? Also? Who will not be appearing in Fantasia? 0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:34.800 Who's ready for some Donald Duck? Donald Duck also will 0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:37.959 not be appearing in Fantasia. That's when the one I'm 0:22:38.000 --> 0:22:41.600 up back with the Phantasian movie fired. Come in here 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:44.679 you're supposed. Yeah, it's just really hard for me to 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:46.760 for me to get these kids excited about something that 0:22:46.880 --> 0:22:48.840 they're expecting one thing, but then I have to break 0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:51.400 the news to them that it's not going That told 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:53.520 you to break news to them, you piece of ship. 0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:57.320 I wanted to see you man? Was that what it 0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:00.399 was like? I mean, spot on its scary house on 0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:04.360 that one. Thank you so much for doing our show, 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:07.399 Brian and sharing with us all these stories. Even though 0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:09.480 it sounds like I'm letting you go, I'm not. Because 0:23:09.520 --> 0:23:11.280