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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio

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Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Okay, handmade s Tale.

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Speaker 1: Since we're in this arena, Uh, how what was your

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Speaker 1: reaction when you heard Roe v Wade? I know, we

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Speaker 1: don't even have to talk about it. That's a good

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Speaker 1: sound though. That really here? It is? Yeah, there it is.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I to be honest, I mean,

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Speaker 1: is about to say that I wasn't surprised. I mean, no,

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Speaker 1: we shouldn't. It was leaked months ago. It was kind

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Speaker 1: of expected. I just it just is astounding to me. Hello, everybody,

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Katie's Crib. I'm already in the midst

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Speaker 1: of conversation with our guest who I I mean, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I've been trying to talk to you about

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Speaker 1: your baby for such a long time because we first met.

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Speaker 1: I first met Ivan Starovski in line in an airport.

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Speaker 1: She was standing with her partner and her baby. Miss

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Speaker 1: Van has garnered critical acclaim for her role as Serena

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Speaker 1: Joy Waterford and who lose Emmy and Golden Globe winning

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Speaker 1: original series The Handmaid's Tale. She's netted Emmy nominations for

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Speaker 1: Outstanding Supporting Actress in the Drama Series, Golden Globe nomination

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Speaker 1: for Best Supporting Actress in the Series, Many Series, blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah to Screen Actors Guild Coombs. I mean, the

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Speaker 1: list goes on and on. She just recently started, alongside

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Speaker 1: Chris Pratt and Amazon Studio Films, The Tomorrow War. She's

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Speaker 1: started state list of six part TV series Oh Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that looks so good. That premiere on ABC UM Australia

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Speaker 1: in March. Previously, she was on Fox's twenty four Live

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Speaker 1: Another Day, Dexter Chuck, The Astronaut Wives Club. I mean,

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Speaker 1: good lord, let's just go. I mean, the resume is ridiculous. Films.

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Speaker 1: He's out there in Manhattan Night The Guilt Trip. She

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Speaker 1: is married to actor and producer Tim Lowden and is

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Speaker 1: a mom of two boys, William and Henry. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: Katie's crib. Hi, thank you so much for doing this.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, thanks for asking me. This is super fun.

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Speaker 1: I was trying to remember as reminiscing on that time

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Speaker 1: that we met. I remember looking at you and you

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Speaker 1: just being like, oh my gosh, like I'm headed off

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Speaker 1: to like a family like sort of vacation. Which, as

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Speaker 1: you had said, it was not something to do. And

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Speaker 1: we were also heading on a family vacation and we

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Speaker 1: both had babies, and we were in line in the

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Speaker 1: airport and I feel like the line was long, and

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Speaker 1: you and I were both and I just ran up

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Speaker 1: to you and I was like, Hi, we're both actors

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Speaker 1: in Hollywood and we have similar hair and makeup people

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Speaker 1: who do our hair makeup for events. And I hear

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Speaker 1: you're cool, and oh my god, I'm such a huge

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Speaker 1: fan of your work. But we're in line, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is not going to go great if this takes

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Speaker 1: like two hours. Yeah, it was. It was a while,

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Speaker 1: I remember standing in that line for a while too.

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Speaker 1: I remember talking to you guys. You guys were awesome.

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Speaker 1: Thank you such a great connection. Thank you for talking

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Speaker 1: to me and making that that's s line, snake line

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Speaker 1: move faster. I've been um so excited to talk to

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Speaker 1: you because since then you've had a second child. Did

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Speaker 1: you always want to be a mom? No, I didn't

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Speaker 1: always want to be I didn't either. Tell me how

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Speaker 1: you came to how it happened in your life. I

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Speaker 1: remember hitting an age like I think it was somewhere

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Speaker 1: in my early thirties, somewhere between thirty and thirty five.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember the exact age where literally suddenly I

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Speaker 1: just had the feeling like I whatever in my hormonal

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Speaker 1: situation changed and I just was like, oh, I must

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Speaker 1: have babies. I love that and I and I just

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Speaker 1: felt it and I hadn't really prior to that were

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Speaker 1: a lot of the friends you have in your life,

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Speaker 1: like were they also having children? Or had you worked

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Speaker 1: with actors that had kids? Or you really think it

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Speaker 1: was like your biological clock. No, I really think it

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Speaker 1: was my biological clock. I like I felt things change

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Speaker 1: in my body. I mean I always I remember working

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Speaker 1: with moms, you know, people in the makeup chair, who

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Speaker 1: would you know. I'd be like, hi, how are you

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Speaker 1: and they say, oh, you know, I haven't slepped, or

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Speaker 1: I slept for one hour, my baby was up, or

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Speaker 1: my child was you know, sac or this and that,

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Speaker 1: and I just remember thinking, how the fun do you

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Speaker 1: do this? I just remember thinking I would actually just

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Speaker 1: keel over and die and not be able to do

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Speaker 1: my job. And here I am, um with two doing

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Speaker 1: your job, not dead, doing like the not only like

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Speaker 1: a job, but like I would argue and we'll get

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Speaker 1: into this probably one of the hardest most. You have

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Speaker 1: a very demanding job. It's a very demanding project that

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Speaker 1: you're working on. It's not like you're going to work

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Speaker 1: on like a little in no offense, but like a

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Speaker 1: rom com or something where you're like laughing, yeah, like

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Speaker 1: a little like light thing where you don't really need

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Speaker 1: to like shake it off before you get home. It's

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Speaker 1: like you are living in this insane world that, sadly,

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Speaker 1: at the moment, is really mimicking our own. Um, can

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Speaker 1: you describe the moment when you and Tim found out

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Speaker 1: you were pregnant? Well, we were the first you mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: where um having an argument of some kind. Um. I love,

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Speaker 1: were in the midst of of like sent my major five.

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Speaker 1: I really can't remember at all what it was about. Um,

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Speaker 1: And then I just remember going, you know, in the

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Speaker 1: middle of it. I just remember grabbing a pa stick

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Speaker 1: and just you know, I was peeing on the toilet,

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Speaker 1: um onto the stick, and and it suddenly changed into

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Speaker 1: you know, you're pregnant. There. I just remember me like,

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Speaker 1: oh oh, and it was like, um, I think I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm pregnant. It was totally unexpected because we've been. I

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Speaker 1: think we were we tried for four months or something

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Speaker 1: around it, Like I think we got pregnant in the

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Speaker 1: fourth the fifth month. Wonderful. It's pretty very quick. But

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Speaker 1: you know, I've been doing the pace stick thing for

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Speaker 1: you know, four months. I guess whatever, it's probably gonna

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Speaker 1: be negative. And and yeah it wasn't. So you knew

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Speaker 1: you wanted a baby and you were peeing on sticks,

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Speaker 1: which I did too, but you weren't like crazy about

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Speaker 1: on it. You were just sort of like we're in

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Speaker 1: this foray and we're in this. But it's really I'm

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Speaker 1: not like squeezing the experience, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not I mean, I'm horrible anyway when it

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Speaker 1: comes to like any time the doctor was like when's

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Speaker 1: your mine? From cycle? And was a lot time, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I really like I cann't remember it

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Speaker 1: to say in my life, I just can't. I never

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Speaker 1: documented those things. I mean, have I probably been you know,

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Speaker 1: had we been at it for a year, I probably

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Speaker 1: would have to really really calculate right down, take notes.

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Speaker 1: But you were still in a very like relaxed receiving,

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Speaker 1: like surrendered state. What about the second time with Henry

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Speaker 1: Um same thing, although because I was breastfeeding, I breastfend

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Speaker 1: William for twenty six months, so he was two years

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Speaker 1: and two months when we did the lost feed. I

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Speaker 1: have to talk to you all about this because I'm

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Speaker 1: on vir is almost twenty months and I'm weaning her

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Speaker 1: now and I just decided, and it's horrible, Like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know why, what made you decide to wean? Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're going off topic, guys, but this is why I

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Speaker 1: have Katie's cribs so I can selfishly ask my own

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Speaker 1: questions for my own personal use. Just bear with me.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back on track. And two minutes, how did

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Speaker 1: you know it was time? I didn't. I didn't decide

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Speaker 1: it was time. I let my child decide. I was

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Speaker 1: just like, I didn't want to go through anything horrible.

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Speaker 1: I just remember, I mean, I follow a lot of

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Speaker 1: Instagram is like a great education, and that sounds weird.

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Speaker 1: I have so many women. Thank you to all the

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Speaker 1: women who share their stories on everything and both and

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Speaker 1: it's very amazing. It's amazing, you know. I just remember

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Speaker 1: seeing a lot of women, photos of women just bawling

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Speaker 1: their eyes out because they're weaning their child from breastfeeding

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Speaker 1: and how and reading the how to use and blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah, and I just thought, you know what I'm

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Speaker 1: doing that, I'm not doing it. I'm doing it my way.

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Speaker 1: I don't care when anybody says. I don't care what

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Speaker 1: my husband says. I just I'm going to do what

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Speaker 1: I feel and when my baby feels is right. And

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Speaker 1: so consequently I didn't follow anything. I just he just

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Speaker 1: started forgetting about like feeds usually like the first I

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Speaker 1: think it was the ones in the middle of the day,

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Speaker 1: and and I let him. I didn't say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, he forgot. Yeah. You didn't

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Speaker 1: say like, oh, we didn't do this feed yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so you know the ones the last one to

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Speaker 1: go was the one before bed um, and then the

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Speaker 1: second last one to go was the first thing in

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Speaker 1: the morning one. Yeah, that's where I met. Now, I

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Speaker 1: met seven am, and I do the morning and the

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Speaker 1: night right, Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I would,

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Speaker 1: you know, he just didn't by himself. I didn't do anything.

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Speaker 1: And also like I did not I didn't stop him

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Speaker 1: when he didn't do it for three days and then

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Speaker 1: came back. Oh interesting, yeah, I just like, if he

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Speaker 1: if we did, if he forgot about it in the

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Speaker 1: mornings for three days in the row, and then on

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Speaker 1: the fourth day he was like, I want to do this.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, and then he forget and then

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Speaker 1: he'd come back, and then he forget for another few

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Speaker 1: days or a day, and then he'd come back and

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Speaker 1: then slowly, slowly, so it was just and then it

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Speaker 1: was over and that was it, and I never I

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Speaker 1: just didn't want to torment myself because I had an

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Speaker 1: amazing experience with breastfeeding. I loved it. I I was

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Speaker 1: very Yeah, I was really lucky. I just loved it.

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Speaker 1: I adored it. It was such an amazing connection for me.

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Speaker 1: I had milk. Different story. Now my left one with quit,

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Speaker 1: that's a whole another story. How do you know? How

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Speaker 1: do you know what's happening? How old is it? Wait?

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Speaker 1: How old is Henry? Seven months? And your left boob

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Speaker 1: is quit? How did you know he only want favors

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Speaker 1: one side? Well, now, yeah, because I've just kind of

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Speaker 1: phased it out. But because I'm pretty much exclusively breastfeeding,

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Speaker 1: and then when I'm at work that there were times

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Speaker 1: because work gets complicated, especially when you watch this season,

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Speaker 1: you'll see why. There were times where I couldn't God,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. But like Henry William and Henry Book

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Speaker 1: came to work with me every single day, so I

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Speaker 1: can continue breastfeeding, so I can continue making milk because

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Speaker 1: you know, we all know supply and demand there and

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Speaker 1: if you see your baby, and also if they're asking

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Speaker 1: for milk, you make milk. If they're not asking for

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Speaker 1: milk and you're not pumping, which, by the way, even

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Speaker 1: if you are pumping, that might not be the thing

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Speaker 1: that responds to your body because you need to see

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Speaker 1: the baby, you need to smell the baby, you need

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Speaker 1: It's different for everybody. So the babies are always with you,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes it's not possible for whatever reason is happening

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Speaker 1: this freaking season. Oh my god. So what so the boob,

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Speaker 1: So the left boob just quit. Well, it was always

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Speaker 1: pretty lame. Like when William, it was always like I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, it was this much to like

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Speaker 1: this much, and then and then with Henry just kind

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Speaker 1: of went down to there and it was like a

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Speaker 1: few drops sometimes nothing. So when I pump, it's sometimes

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Speaker 1: nothing comes out. Sometimes I get a few drops. I

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Speaker 1: could go days without activating it. You know, I still

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Speaker 1: kind of I don't feed off of anymore. I still

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Speaker 1: pump it just because. Um but I'm yes, I'm a

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Speaker 1: one boob woman right now. Good for you. Are they

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Speaker 1: really different in size like they are? Wow? Guys, women

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Speaker 1: are fucking amazing. When you do a fitting on the

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Speaker 1: Handmaid's tail, are they like? Ha? No one makes a

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Speaker 1: bra that uh fits one boob that's varied in size

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Speaker 1: all day, depending on whether it's full or half full

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Speaker 1: or deflated. I remember the last season of Scandal I

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Speaker 1: have that. I well, I've got so many jobs since

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Speaker 1: then where I've fed my second kid, and it's like

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Speaker 1: they would have different bras in my trailer, different sizes

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Speaker 1: because I would sometimes be a B and sometimes be

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Speaker 1: a double D. It was like insane. Um, yeah, I don't.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy that I'm weaning. I'm turning forty in September.

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Speaker 1: I'm turning forty in July. Were the same year way maybe,

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Speaker 1: and I have I'm treating myself for the first time

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Speaker 1: ever to like a few trips by myself. I know,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like what my soul has like called

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Speaker 1: in for me, like really strongly, and I just don't

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Speaker 1: want to pump there, like I want to go for

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Speaker 1: five or six days, and so I'm sort of getting

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Speaker 1: less and less on the feeds really gradually knowing that

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Speaker 1: in time when I go, that will be it as

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Speaker 1: sort of as celebrating I'm trying rather than being sad

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Speaker 1: about it, because I am also sad and emotional because

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Speaker 1: this is my last child, but I also I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to like make it celebratory, like, holy shit, I fed

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Speaker 1: two babies. It was one of the hard while working

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Speaker 1: full time jobs. Is one of the hardest things I

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Speaker 1: ever did in my entire life. And now I want

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Speaker 1: to celebrate and sort of like get back to my

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Speaker 1: own body being autonomously my own I'm just like a

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Speaker 1: strong pull towards that. But it is odd, like I

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Speaker 1: talked to her a lot about it, like in the afternoons,

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Speaker 1: I just started saying. She would pull and scream at me,

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Speaker 1: and I would say, oh, I'm so sorry. We're just

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Speaker 1: going to keep it till we're going to do it

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Speaker 1: in two hours, like right at night, right at night,

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Speaker 1: and then she doesn't. And that only happened for a day,

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Speaker 1: and now she never asks in the middle of the day. Anymore.

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Speaker 1: She just does morning and night. But good lord, is

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Speaker 1: this not so crazy? Hard? Like? What the hell? I No,

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Speaker 1: It's like there's so many feelings that exist in the

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Speaker 1: same space that are so contradictory. So it's crazy. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: we're back on track. Um okay, So seven eight months

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Speaker 1: and you're got you're the one boob wonder, which I love,

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Speaker 1: and that will continue on until Henry decides it's time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: pretty much. Yeah. Has your second time experience been so

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Speaker 1: drastically different than your first time? Like even breastfeeding sounds

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Speaker 1: like it's different. Were your pregnancy is different? Yes? Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, well only in terms of intensity and was Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the first one was easier, I have to say with Henry.

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Speaker 1: But I had this weird um symptom. I've talked about

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Speaker 1: this a lot before. I had the spitting things, I

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Speaker 1: had excessive saliva. What wait, I've listened to so many

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Speaker 1: things you've done. I don't know if I've heard about that.

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Speaker 1: What is this? This is a pregnancy symptom? Yeah, I've

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Speaker 1: every the internet and the doctor says say that it

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Speaker 1: is a common um symptom. I've literally never actually met

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Speaker 1: a person who has had the same thing I've only

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Speaker 1: heard of like a friend of a friend who I

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Speaker 1: never met, who had a minor version of this. But

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Speaker 1: it's basically, it's, you know the moment right before you

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Speaker 1: puke and so much saliva in your mouth. Yeah yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so so it's that moment, but all the time, so

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Speaker 1: you have to have it gone. Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. It's it's horrendous. It is horrendous.

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Speaker 1: I had to have a cop um stuffed with shoe

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Speaker 1: or toilet paper or something constantly around me. This is

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Speaker 1: like on the Handmaid's tail. I remember. This is why

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Speaker 1: I couldn't even hide my pregnancy for very long, because

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Speaker 1: I had to spit in the cup for literally every minute.

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Speaker 1: I mean I could go the longest, maybe three minutes

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Speaker 1: without spinning in a cup like diagraaphals saliva and it's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: And so ten months with Henry, yes, not with William.

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Speaker 1: With Henry, it was the entire time, and it was

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Speaker 1: no joke. And I was shooting and promoting the Handmaids

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Speaker 1: in the Chris Pratt movie The Tomorrow War, and literally

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Speaker 1: like online zoom pr and this and that, and I

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Speaker 1: had like my little spitny cup up to the side

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Speaker 1: and just be like, you know, to pretend that how

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Speaker 1: did you know at first when those symptoms came on,

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Speaker 1: like you were like, this is really did you at

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Speaker 1: first just think it was like you feeling nausea or

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Speaker 1: like your body preparing to throw up for something like that,

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Speaker 1: And then you were like, no, this is weird. It's

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Speaker 1: just endless amounts of saliva. Yeah, weird. Hand it was

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Speaker 1: nausea as well, and I was throwing up. I didn't

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Speaker 1: throw up with William, but but but then once the

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Speaker 1: throwing up and the nausey a subsided, it's just the

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Speaker 1: saliva remained. And that's what I had with William too,

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Speaker 1: and it was very weird. And the other very weird

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Speaker 1: thing that happened with William before the saliva thing, I think,

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Speaker 1: was that, um, I started getting real grossed out by

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Speaker 1: my husband. I was really and I thought, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: what is going on. I remember not whatever his smell

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Speaker 1: is usually like yeah. I just was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: whatever is coming out of your pores is just so

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Speaker 1: so horrendous. And I we laugh about it now, but

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Speaker 1: but at the time I remember thinking, like a week

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Speaker 1: went by and I started, I had to google it.

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Speaker 1: I thought, this is something wrong with me, and of

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Speaker 1: course I realized, oh, this is a thing, and then

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Speaker 1: we had to laugh about it, and that kind of

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Speaker 1: went way. But the spitting that that that, and the

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Speaker 1: spitting went away with it. Probably, I want to say,

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Speaker 1: the first timester like sixteen weeks with William, but when

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Speaker 1: Henry the saliva just kept going and going. That is absolutely,

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Speaker 1: absolutely horrible. And we do have to say, I mean,

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Speaker 1: that is a very common thing that some women are

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Speaker 1: incredibly um the pheromones don't match up for whatever reason

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Speaker 1: they used to. And then, however, your sense of smell

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Speaker 1: is so piqud during pregnancy, and all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: your husband might be on that ship list along with

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Speaker 1: whatever else of like, don't even get near me. Although

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Speaker 1: I have a friend then and the polar opposite direction,

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Speaker 1: I have a friend who like could not be satiated

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Speaker 1: with enough sex while she was pregnant, like could not

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Speaker 1: be satiated, like literally waking up her husband in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night being like, please, please, please help, help, help,

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Speaker 1: like I'm in big trouble, like please, just like I

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Speaker 1: need sex right now. And my husband heard this story

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Speaker 1: and so my entire both of my pregnancies. He was like,

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Speaker 1: when is it just going to start raining sex? Like

337
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:13,919
Speaker 1: when does this like sex rain start? And I'm like, mm, sorry, honey,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just not feeling that. I felt so bad.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like your pregnancies were different symptomatically. I

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Speaker 1: know your births were drastically different, which is so cool,

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Speaker 1: And I would like to hear about that. Your birth

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Speaker 1: with William was in a hospital and your birth with

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Speaker 1: Henry was at home. Can you explain to me both

344
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:50,360
Speaker 1: of those experiences and how that decision happened. Oh gosh,

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Speaker 1: I always thought I would be the person to have

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Speaker 1: a natural humbuth, but I was too scared to do

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Speaker 1: it the first time around because we are we don't

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Speaker 1: live close to the hospital, and so I just was

349
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Speaker 1: always like, oh, I was, you know, the old way

350
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: of thinking. Now it's different, but back then, I was like,

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Speaker 1: if something goes wrong, I'm not near a hospital. You know.

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Speaker 1: Since then, I've been educated on what are the actual

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00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 1: things that I do need to worry about. Um, Given

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Speaker 1: the pregnancy that I had, which was a healthy pregnancy

355
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Speaker 1: with William, it was a forty six hour long labor.

356
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Speaker 1: It was two days and two nights. I it was

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Speaker 1: kind of it ended up being all the things like

358
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Speaker 1: I didn't really want it to be, which which I

359
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 1: didn't really know at the time, Like I didn't really

360
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Speaker 1: know it wasn't sort of normal for a thing lady,

361
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 1: which sounds so stupid now, but to kind of change locations.

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Speaker 1: That was kind of one thing. Like I started at

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Speaker 1: home and I wanted to be there for a long

364
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Speaker 1: time in um, and that didn't really happen because we

365
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,479
Speaker 1: got to the point where we all fought collectively that

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Speaker 1: we should go to my doctor's office and get checked,

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Speaker 1: and then we all thought that we were I was

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Speaker 1: going to have that baby by sundown. UM. So it's

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Speaker 1: not really I'm not like, you know, placing blame or anything.

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Speaker 1: This is just kind of helped panned out. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm moving from my house the forty five minute drive

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Speaker 1: into the office to get checked to them. You know, suddenly, Okay,

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Speaker 1: the baby's gonna come tonight probably, So then it didn't

374
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Speaker 1: make sense to go back home and made sense to

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Speaker 1: stay in town. So then I said, okay, well let's

376
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Speaker 1: get a hotel, which is you know, totally random. Oh

377
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Speaker 1: my god, this is so stressful. I'm so stressed. So

378
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Speaker 1: like I'm walking around the streets, you know, in town,

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Speaker 1: like you know, laboring with my dula, and while my

380
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Speaker 1: husband's kind of doing like the drive by in the car,

381
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 1: but you know, going to get sandwiches and like handing

382
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Speaker 1: drinks out the window, and and then you know, going

383
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: to make the hotel reservation. So it you know, it's

384
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:55,239
Speaker 1: a lot of separating me from my husband who I

385
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: wanted to be with, and then and then getting into

386
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Speaker 1: the hotel. And so once we got into the hotel,

387
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: then it was kind of calm again. But then it

388
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 1: just kept going and going and going. So then I

389
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: was awake for a whole another night. The baby did

390
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 1: not come, and the you know, my doctor came midnight,

391
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Speaker 1: three am, six am, finally seven thirty in the morning.

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Speaker 1: The second day, it's like, okay, let's go over to

393
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: the hospital now, so then we're changing locations again, and

394
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 1: he still didn't come until five pm that you know,

395
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: the second day, and it was just a law. My

396
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: body was stalling, and I the hospital is a fabulous,

397
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: wonderful choice for other people, it wasn't for me. You

398
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: felt very stressed. You, I mean, it closes you off.

399
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 1: It feels like not safe. It feels safe for some people,

400
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 1: and it feels it feels unsafe and strange to you.

401
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 1: It felt very unsafe and strange me because I'm just

402
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: not I'm not like I'm super private person. I don't

403
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 1: really I don't, like, you know, if I see people

404
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: I don't know, and like my uterus is like not

405
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 1: bringing the baby out. And then and that's kind of

406
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: what happened. So I ended up having uh, you know,

407
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 1: potocin to kind of keep it going, and having my

408
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: water broken because it didn't break naturally or we didn't

409
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 1: wait long enough for it to break naturally. Also, I

410
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: ended up being so exhausted that an hour one when

411
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: they told me that the baby had turned unfavorably suddenly

412
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Speaker 1: because we broke the water manually. Then and then they

413
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: told me I had to be in a certain position,

414
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: I just kind of freaked out. And then at that

415
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: point I was falling asleep in between contractions, and I mean, like,

416
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Speaker 1: you know, you have the sixty seconds in between the

417
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Speaker 1: most intense ones at the end, and I was just

418
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 1: nodding off. It was just such chaos for me and

419
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: my body. And then ended up having an epidural right

420
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: at the end there to relax. I instantly fell asleep

421
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 1: when my body kept working for another five hours. He's

422
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Speaker 1: my husband going on a walk with Henry. Um and

423
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Speaker 1: you were very very you were very proud. We weren't

424
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: you forty two over forty two weeks? Right? Yeah? I

425
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 1: was seventeen days that were overdue. I mean, do days

426
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 1: so stupid decitely? So yeah, I was seventeen days overdue.

427
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 1: So um. I didn't want to get induced either to

428
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: stop the whole birth process, and I didn't. But then,

429
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: you know, all those things happened in the hospital that

430
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: you know, I really didn't. I wanted to have like

431
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 1: a natural home book in a hospital, is what my

432
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 1: wish was. But unfortunately that did not happen for me.

433
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: And so when it came to the second baby, I

434
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 1: remember kind of feeling like I was very much putting

435
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: it off. I was very much putting off because I

436
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: think I had PTSD of you know, and I was

437
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 1: panicking about having to do it again in the hospital,

438
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: and I was very much procrastinating on making a decision

439
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: about the second one. And I just kind of had

440
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: to have a chat with myself and be like, no,

441
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 1: you're gonna listen to your inner gut voice. It is

442
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: telling you something. Your inner voice is telling you something,

443
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 1: and it was telling me to just stop calling friends whoever,

444
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: stopped talking about the potential of having a home both

445
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 1: and what it meant, and then led me to a

446
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: wonderful Duela who who worked with a particular midwife who

447
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 1: then I met with them and they really they were

448
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: so strong and firm and reassuring, and they allowed me

449
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: to instill more trust in myself and they educated me.

450
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 1: You know, I think people think of moms who you know,

451
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 1: women who both at home is like super crunchy, hippie whatever,

452
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: And that's not me I had. I had a ton

453
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 1: of fears. I I'm super conservative in terms of like

454
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: if something goes wrong, like we gotta go. Um you Also,

455
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 1: what I didn't understand about home birth thing until to

456
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 1: be honest, so many of my friends chose the home

457
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: birth route. During COVID people were really really scared of hospitals. Yeah,

458
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: it was a lot of during the timing of like

459
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: is your partner doula going to be allowed in the

460
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: hospital rooms? It was crazy. I had a lot of

461
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,679
Speaker 1: friends choose home birth but what I didn't know what

462
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: I think is really cool. It's like you have to

463
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 1: be a candidate for a home birth. Like it's not

464
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 1: like anyone, like a really great dueler midwife is going

465
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 1: to take on anyone. It's like you have to have

466
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: had a pretty for all intensive purposes, normal healthy pregnancy

467
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: you have to have like there can't be like red flags,

468
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, so you're you were

469
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: a candidate because you had labored before, you had had

470
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: no real hiccups in your even though your first was

471
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 1: not how you intended, There really wasn't any huge issues

472
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: that your body didn't do the thing, you know, so

473
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: you are a perfect candidate for a home like you

474
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: could do it. The thing that was in the way

475
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: was did you think you could do it your head exactly,

476
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: which I think is part of the problem, right, Like

477
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 1: I think that's you know, we're conditioned to kind of

478
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: just think about all the things that could go wrong

479
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: versus looking at if you are lucky enough to have

480
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: a complication free pregnancy, You're not looking at all the

481
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,719
Speaker 1: things that could potentially just go smoothly, and you know

482
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: in your body is just gonna do what it's supposed

483
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 1: to do, which is which is what I learned, and

484
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 1: quite frankly, I had the most profound experience ever. So

485
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 1: happy about that for you? It was it was so

486
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 1: it was ten hours. It was with my husband. I

487
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,360
Speaker 1: was with him, like I mean, sitting on him with

488
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: him in the blow up pool in my bedroom right there.

489
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: And I know it, but it makes me emo too.

490
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: I mean, the most beautiful photo I should share it

491
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: to you know. It's not like you can't see my

492
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: bits ory, but but it's it was really romantic actually,

493
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 1: and I and it just kind of led me down

494
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: the path of um really setting it up so that

495
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 1: I could potentially have this profound birth experience at home.

496
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: Had something gone wrong, we were prepared to move and transfer,

497
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: but it didn't, and my body, I wanner broken whatever

498
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: time I was supposed to. I set it up so

499
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: that my two best friends were there looking after William

500
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: throughout the day, cooking, helping, you know, feed everybody, the

501
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: duel of the midwife. My doctor was gracious enough to

502
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 1: show up and be there just as ant backup person

503
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,360
Speaker 1: after so you felt so supported. That's the other thing.

504
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: I just think if women felt very supported. The problem

505
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: with the birth industry is we're set up to that

506
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: we don't know anything. I mean, it's not on the

507
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: birth of thing. I mean, this is a really big statement,

508
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: but it's it's women and all of our reproductive stuff

509
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: the whole fucking time were set up as young girls

510
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: to like not know. I mean, I remember the first

511
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: time I was even trying to get ignant and this

512
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: fertility acupuncturist was talking to me, like at length about

513
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: what the liquids coming out of my vagina really mean

514
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 1: of where I'm at in my cycle. And I was like, oh,

515
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: I've never known that, Like no one's tee, you know

516
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, and she was like, that's crazy

517
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: that you don't know what your own body is doing,

518
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? But it's like we

519
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: aren't taught, like you know, Like it's it's because we

520
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 1: don't talk about it, and we don't talk about sex,

521
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,959
Speaker 1: and we don't talk about ovulating, and we don't talk

522
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: about that, you know. I also have had so many

523
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: friends that had Now I'm not saying you did not

524
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: have a traumatic I mean you had you did not

525
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: have a traumatic first labor experience in that, Thank god,

526
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 1: nothing really bad happened. But I've had friends who have

527
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: had traumatic and also just first birth experiences that that

528
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: not that did not go how they intended or wished,

529
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: And it's been really cool to be along journeys of

530
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: second times to watch them heal that. Yeah, I mean,

531
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: I yes, and I hear, I totally hear that. I

532
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: relate to it on a level where I had an

533
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: experience where my body was climbing up and that was

534
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: my not ideal kind of situation, and this was my

535
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: opportunity to heal that and and have like a redo

536
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: and um, and how amazing it was to just kind

537
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: of let my just get out of my head and

538
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 1: let my body do what it was supposed to do.

539
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: And like, I'll just never forget. I'll never forget feeling

540
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: my baby coming out of the booth canal and and

541
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: and and going wow, I don't have to do anything.

542
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: There's no pushing here, there's no there's nothing, there's nothing

543
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: I can do. My body is going to thunder this

544
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: child out of me, and it's going to have this

545
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: earthquake and then stop. It doesn't matter if I push

546
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: or not. It's gonna stop. It's going to allow me

547
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: to expand more. It's going to keep doing it and

548
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: it's going to stop again. And I just remember being

549
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: so present with this moment and in all of just like, oh,

550
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: this is what your body does by itself. We don't

551
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: and I just and it's so seems so crazy to

552
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: me that at thought and that I'm like, oh, now

553
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: I know, like no one told me that, you know,

554
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: it's it's just one of it. Just now I know now,

555
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: And I was. I lived it. It's such a stupid question.

556
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: Was it painful? I mean at the time, I remember

557
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: being an extraordinary discomfort, and I remember thinking, I remember

558
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,479
Speaker 1: sitting in that pool on top of my husband in

559
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: the last you know, ten minutes, and thinking, oh, I

560
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: think I might poss out from the amount, like I

561
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 1: don't know if I can handle this. And then but

562
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: then but then you do you do? And and I

563
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: and and thank God for the Hypnobos thing. Also, Yeah,

564
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about that. I read

565
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: that you did explain that that journey and what that

566
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: is for our listeners who don't know. Yeah, I mean listen,

567
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: and I think I think listeners TU know. I'm not

568
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: I don't meditate, I don't I'm not like, I sits

569
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: still kind of person I never happened, and I sadly

570
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 1: never will be. Probably, uh yeah, we're hitting forty. We're

571
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: hitting forty. I think we may not well, who knows,

572
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 1: let's talk again. It like maybe it's sixty. We're gonna

573
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: fucking be rocking meditation. Who knows a silent retreat? Yes,

574
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: um no. I was never that person. And so, you know,

575
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: the midwife was like, you know, you should try it,

576
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: try it, And so I told I'm just gonna If

577
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this, I'm just gonna commit to the

578
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: whole thing. And so I started listening to Hypno Birthing

579
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: and I did it all out of order. I think

580
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,719
Speaker 1: you follow the CD because it meshed it all up

581
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: on my iTunes and I was like, okay, I'll just

582
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: like pick whatever I'm in the mood for based on

583
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: the title. And that's what I did whenever I felt

584
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: like it at night as I was going to sleep.

585
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: I didn't do it in the present state of you know,

586
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: awakness or anything. I did it. I just kind of

587
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: did it my way and then and then lo and

588
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: behold that lady's voice. For the ten hours I just

589
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: had I had her in my EarPods and then I

590
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: dropped my earpuds and a bucket of womite because I

591
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: vomited while I was saying um. And then thankfully they

592
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: still work, They're still here. Shout out to earbuds, okay um.

593
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 1: So so then I just had her on in the

594
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 1: background and it the affirmations, it just got me through.

595
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: It was that, it just it just kind of was

596
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: do you remember what some of the affirmations are. Yeah,

597
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: I think the biggest one is you are going to

598
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: meet your baby now. Your baby is here. Your baby

599
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: is right here, and you are going to meet your baby.

600
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: And your book is going to be exactly what it

601
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: is going to be. And we're in acceptance of that.

602
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: If it were fluid, we're flowing. And and there was

603
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: there was this bit about hypno and a no no

604
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: like hypno anesthesia, and there was it's a different time

605
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 1: and I'm forgetting it now, but it was about creating

606
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: your own um pain medication through your energy and your body.

607
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: And and although I mean, listen, you still feel pain,

608
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be listed in here and be like,

609
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 1: oh it was magic. I didn't feel anything at all.

610
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: Of course, I felt all the things, but there was

611
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: in my mind I had a certain level of control

612
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: over it, which is what I did not happen the

613
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: first one I had, and I felt it in the

614
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: first one. I felt like I had been controlling it

615
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: to a certain point by myself, and then I just

616
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 1: lost control because things got chaotic and there wasn't that baseline.

617
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: And this the hypno birthing track, allowed me to kind

618
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 1: of have a baseline. And but also I had the

619
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: support team. I worked hard to set it up. I

620
00:34:54,680 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: worked hard to plan meticulously for this to happened in

621
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 1: and to be supported, and I followed my gut every

622
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: step of the way because it was important to me

623
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: to just give it a shot, to at least give

624
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: it a shot. And hey, if something had gone with

625
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: my baby's hotby had gone up, we would have been

626
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: in the car, we would have been going to the

627
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,879
Speaker 1: hospital straight away and it would have been handled. But

628
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: you know, there were certain things like what if the

629
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 1: baby's cord is wrapped around its neck and da da

630
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: da da da, And it was. But I learned that

631
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: your baby isn't breathing through here, yea, when it comes out,

632
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: it's breathing through that chord, and unless the cord itself

633
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 1: is totally twisted and clamped shop, then it's fine. The

634
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: baby comes out. We unwrapped the cord and I listened

635
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: and learned and educated myself. How fucking cool. I am

636
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: so stoked for you. I'm just so stoked for you

637
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 1: and everything you learned about yourself and what you achieved.

638
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: And oh wait, I have another joan hold on. Was William?

639
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: So you had friends over to watch William? Was he

640
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: how did he take it? Was he there for the

641
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 1: actual birth moment? Did you want him to not be around? What?

642
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 1: Tell me explain how that worked out. I wanted him

643
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: to be in the home, in the space with us,

644
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: but I didn't. I wasn't going to force him, you know.

645
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: I said to my bestees, Look, if he says, oh

646
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: can I go see mom, then come right on in,

647
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 1: you know. And if he doesn't, then then he doesn't.

648
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: And he didn't. It was really interesting because I'm sure

649
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: he heard me, you know, vocally walking through the contractions. Um,

650
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 1: but he was so he was just thrilled he had doors.

651
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 1: My two best friends like adoors them, So I think

652
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: he was like so thrilled that they were there. For him. Yeah,

653
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 1: He's like, this is the best day. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, yeah,

654
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: but he did. So what it was, it was amazing

655
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: because what you know, Henry finally you know, came out

656
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: and then one of my best sees was upstairs grabbing

657
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: something um for William from his room. But we we

658
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: live in a small two bedroom apartment, so um, and

659
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: it's and it's two levels and and she heard, you know,

660
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: you know, and he you know, he's here. And then

661
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: so they kind of came upstairs and I could hear

662
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: them outside the door, and I was like, come in,

663
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 1: come in. So, I mean, it was beautiful. My my

664
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: two best friends and my son came in, you know,

665
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,959
Speaker 1: my husband and I were the new baby is sitting

666
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: in the pool. Um, you know, all the all the

667
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 1: garden or whatever, and you know, it's blood and all

668
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: that was. He freaked out by it. Was it freaked

669
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: out by it, not one bit. He came right in

670
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: and he said, can I have him? And I said yes,

671
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: he's he's yours. He's like, can I hold on myself?

672
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: Well maybe not just right now, but but yet you know,

673
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 1: and he was really, you know, he was he just

674
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: loved it. It was a beautiful moment for for all

675
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: of us as a as a family. I don't feel

676
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: really extraordinarily lucky that I got to have this moment

677
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: and share the people who you know, truly like closest

678
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: to me. I absolutely love this so much. Um, can

679
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 1: you explain to me the moment if you can remember

680
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: the moment when you first saw William for the first time,

681
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,479
Speaker 1: in the moment when you first saw Henry. Um there.

682
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess they're pretty similar. I both of them.

683
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: I was I was worried because they were both quiet

684
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: when they came out initially, and so my first instinct was,

685
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 1: I think in both because I have you know, the

686
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: videos of both, and then both of them and the

687
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: first thing out of my mouth is, oh my gosh,

688
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 1: is he okay? Is he breathing? Is he okay? And

689
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: and um and of course I think that's very normal

690
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: and that's so normal. Yeah, you're just like, did we

691
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: do it? Is they? Are they okay? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah

692
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. And with William, we had the maconium, so

693
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 1: he got you know, because we're in the hospital. Then

694
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: there was you know, four ni cute people standing right there,

695
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 1: so you know, I got had like a two second

696
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: moment with him, and then they went to him make

697
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: sure that the maconium didn't affect him, which it didn't, thankfully.

698
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,439
Speaker 1: So then I got him you know, back straight away,

699
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 1: and then it was and then it was he immediately

700
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: wanted to latch and just you know, it was really cute. Um.

701
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: And then Henry was super quiet. I remember saying the

702
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 1: same thing as he okay, is he okay? And I

703
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 1: remember the midweb for the door saying, you know, talked

704
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: to him, talk to me, talked to him, and I

705
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: was I was like hi, and then I just remember

706
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: being so overwhelmed with like I had a moment of

707
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 1: oh my god, I pulled this off. Oh my god,

708
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:36,399
Speaker 1: Like I'm sitting in my bedroom and and I and I,

709
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 1: oh my god, like I actually did it. And so

710
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 1: I don't think there was a moment where I'm like,

711
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 1: oh my god. Um, you know, I can't believe, can't

712
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: believe you know this is happening. And um, were you

713
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: super um passed your do date for Henry as well?

714
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: I was one week. Yeah, over forty one weeks. We're

715
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: still in this crazy system where as women there's these

716
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: rules if you go over I'm lucky. I feel like

717
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: I have the only actual overdian mail over Dan in

718
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 1: l A who allowed me to allow me to go

719
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: over oh yeah my, oh yeah my. And I know

720
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: most Obie's, especially if you're over thirty five, will not

721
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: allow you to go one day over forty some a

722
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 1: very few will let you go to forty one. Even

723
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,439
Speaker 1: fewer will let you go to forty two. I've never

724
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 1: heard of anyone going over forty two, So bravo to

725
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: your And the only reason we're saying all of this

726
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: is because, again I don't know if it's insurance purposes

727
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: or why there's a do date thing, but it's really insane.

728
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: I mean, it should be a birthing window that's like

729
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: two or three weeks before your do date and two

730
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: or three weeks after your do date. You know that's

731
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: really And your kids weren't huge either, right, because then

732
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: there's this whole pressure of oh god, if you're going

733
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 1: for to two weeks, you're gonna be breathing a ten pounder.

734
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,959
Speaker 1: I mean, I broke a nine point one pounder at home,

735
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: and yes, it's doable. And though you know, like I mean,

736
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:15,720
Speaker 1: it was fine, it's fine. And William was six pounds

737
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: eleven announces and they thought he was going to be

738
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: huge and he wasn't. But Henry was um so, But yeah,

739
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: I agree with you. Whatever the system is does not

740
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: support what is actually happening biologically, including the whole thing

741
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: about I mean, you know what animal moves from location

742
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: to location in the middle of labor. No, they go,

743
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: they nest, they find the spot. We were the same,

744
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 1: This was the same thing. And it's just crazy to

745
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: me that we're not set up better and it's just

746
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: all legalities and a dozen't serve us in the way

747
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 1: that it could. It really could. I'm not saying the

748
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 1: hospital is about. Hospital is fantastic. They save lives, they

749
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 1: say babies. I mean, it's just we need that. But

750
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is there's a better way to give

751
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: birth support and give birth and support support. Yeah, And

752
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 1: it's a lot of it's very fear based, is the problem.

753
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: Very fear based. It's very feary based, which is just

754
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: always like, well, no, like you gotta like we don't,

755
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: we can't, you can't go a few days over like

756
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: we're not doing that. And then you know, all my

757
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 1: friends are rushing to get their cervix scraped to induce,

758
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: you know, because they're just like flipping out about getting

759
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: trying to not have an induction happened, you know what

760
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, and and and it's like if we

761
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: just if we just calm and wait, if we just wait,

762
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: if we just wait, they'll decide, they'll decide. Yeah. I mean,

763
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 1: I think it's, you know, the fear thing. I mean,

764
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: I think it's important to mention like I never as

765
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: I was both thing, I still had major fears. And

766
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,799
Speaker 1: I remember the only at home riot. So when the

767
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: only moment of labor in the in the middle of

768
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 1: the wee hours of the morning, I remember asking for

769
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 1: the dueler to come upstairs. I was in the bed

770
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: and I and I remember thinking to myself, you have

771
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 1: to say this outlaud, do not carry this fear into

772
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 1: the next hour. And I said, I'm I'm really scared.

773
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do this, Like I'm

774
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: what am I? What am I doing? I don't know

775
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 1: if I can do this at home? And it was

776
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 1: all this old, you know that the way that we're

777
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 1: kind of raised to think I'm doing something wrong. I'm

778
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: doing something wrong, I'm doing something to put myself and

779
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: my baby in danger exactly, and then asked the most

780
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 1: amazing you know team and they just filled me with

781
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: just calm power again and leveled me out and I

782
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, I'm going to lean into that.

783
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to lean into the people that are trust

784
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: around me. And the hypnoba thing, even though I still

785
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 1: had my own fears in it, and I got through it.

786
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 1: I gone through it, but um, and then it's just amazing. UM.

787
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: Knowing now from both of your experiences, what would you

788
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,760
Speaker 1: recommend other mothers do in order to be more educated

789
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 1: about the process. I would for sure recommend seeking all

790
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 1: kinds of both stories, Like, there are so many and

791
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 1: they're all so different, and you don't know what is

792
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: going to happen to you. You have no idea. But

793
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: I feel like if you're the kind of person who

794
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: would like to trust your body, and if you are

795
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: the kind of person who has a healthy pregnancy, I

796
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: would encourage you to look into you know, setting yourself

797
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: up to experience it as naturally as possible. It is

798
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:08,839
Speaker 1: absolutely profound to understand and experience what your body is

799
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 1: designed to do. I mean, there was an Instagram handle

800
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 1: that I followed called Down to Birth and um and

801
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: since then I've I've met the ladies on on the

802
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: Zoom and I shared, Oh I listened, it was it's

803
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: such a great episode for everybody listening Down to Birth

804
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 1: with Devon. And again, I'm like super private, but this

805
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: is something that I feel is really important to share

806
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: because this, this is the reason why I ended up

807
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: at home with my pregnancy, you know, both at home.

808
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,879
Speaker 1: It's because there were other women who were amazing enough

809
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,320
Speaker 1: to sit there on Instagram and share their stories and

810
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: videos of you know, I saw women bothing in their

811
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 1: pools and in their bods and like and just sharing

812
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 1: and I got really inspired and I just kept thinking, well,

813
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: if someone else can do it, then why can't I.

814
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 1: I can. I can do this and educate yourself and

815
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 1: speak to all kinds of providers, listen to the super

816
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: conceptive people. Yeah, where you only know where you fall.

817
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 1: And that's what's like you said, Instagram actually like can

818
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:17,280
Speaker 1: be a great source of figure like listening and finding

819
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: other stories and seeing what feels right to you. We

820
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: had Casey Wilson on this podcast, who's a good friend

821
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 1: and I love her so much, and she was on

822
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: this podcast and she was like, oh no, no, I

823
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: think I can go down at Cedars as the only

824
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: person that's ever walked in at zero centimeters dilated and

825
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 1: saying I'd like my epidural now. And they were like, oh,

826
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: but you're not even um, not even at one, Like

827
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: do care? She was like, oh, no, no no, no, I

828
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,720
Speaker 1: don't care. I don't. I don't want to feel anything,

829
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like, so, it's but

830
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: she knows that about herself through and fucking through. She

831
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 1: was like, I want my kid and I want to

832
00:46:55,520 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: watch twenty hours or forty five hours of house Wives

833
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: and I'm taking my child home. I don't I'm not

834
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 1: interested in this, do you know what I mean? But

835
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: she has known that about herself. It's like, so you

836
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 1: hear these stories like on this podcast for a raise

837
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 1: for people, and if you just quiet your mind and

838
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: all the outside people and really get honest with yourself

839
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 1: of what feels best to you, then you can make choices. Um,

840
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 1: how is your postpartum experience with both William and Henry?

841
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: Did you have blues or any depression, any anxiety, any

842
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 1: of that stuff. No? I did not. I was really

843
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: I think my happy hormones were really in my favor

844
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: for both times, and thank god because I gave birth

845
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,439
Speaker 1: and then I then we got kicked out of our

846
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: apartment because of the fires that were going on in

847
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 1: that year and just from the giants smoke thing coming

848
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: over the Santa Monica Mountains. And I remember thinking, oh

849
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,720
Speaker 1: my god, we got and that the neighbor was knocking

850
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: on the door at seven am saying, you guys need

851
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 1: to leave. Oh my god, and he was I think

852
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 1: he was four, he was four weeks old, and so

853
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, okay, So we like, I

854
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 1: just remember grabbing just photos and albums, and I forgot

855
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: really to pack my own clothes, but I was packed

856
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: the babies, and I took all the sentimental stuff in

857
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 1: the suitcase. We chucked it in the car, and then

858
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 1: we sat in traffic on the PC trying to get

859
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 1: out um for two and a half hours whould normally

860
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 1: take twenty minutes to get out to where we were going,

861
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 1: and and the you know, the newborn, and and so

862
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: we we left, and then and then we couldn't go

863
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 1: home for two weeks, and then it was time to

864
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: come to Canada for half a year to shoot The

865
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 1: Handmaid's Tale. So I remember we just went home for

866
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 1: a night. We tried to go home earlier. It was

867
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:56,439
Speaker 1: filled with smoke, so we couldn't say that, and we well,

868
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 1: I guess we're not, you know, we can't deal with

869
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: this now, so we we we had to like the

870
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: thirty five loads of laundry, rewash all the baby clothes

871
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 1: again they were left and everything, and then ha and

872
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: like lave to Canada. And so he was six weeks

873
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 1: or six and a half weeks. And and then because

874
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 1: they had started work already, like they were a month

875
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 1: into the season, they were very much catching up on

876
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,839
Speaker 1: all the serena scenes. Yeah, so it's like you were

877
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: showing up. You were showing up and you were going

878
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 1: to be put the funk to work. It's not like

879
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 1: you were showing up and you would be light. It's like, no,

880
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 1: they were already doing you, like the solid by like

881
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: giving pushing all your scenes to be after to give

882
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 1: you some time. And then when did you actually show

883
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 1: up back to work? How old was he? No, he

884
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 1: was like six weeks. Oh my god. So yeah, it

885
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 1: was intense. It was like and then it was God,

886
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: you didn't have postpartum depression. Are you fucking kidding? That

887
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: would not have been possible. No, I know, like they

888
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 1: were literally depending on you to have your wits about

889
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 1: you and all the serotonin in the fucking world and

890
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:13,359
Speaker 1: the love drug. What how was Can you explain to

891
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 1: me your going back to work feelings? Were you upset?

892
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 1: Where you Was it so hard? Were you? Oh? My god, like,

893
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm I'm in shock. Six weeks that's really hard. It's

894
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 1: it was hard. I wanted I did want more time.

895
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,240
Speaker 1: I initially, uh it was it was kind of supposed

896
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: to be a little bit more time, and it didn't

897
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,439
Speaker 1: end up being that way. So I but at the time,

898
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 1: I just remember thinking, I just thought I just got

899
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: to get through this. And I remember, you know, sleeping

900
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 1: like whatever will maybe us to wake up every hour

901
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,320
Speaker 1: to every two hours and that and that like that

902
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 1: went on for two years, basically like him and I

903
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: didn't sleep for two years, but was waking up with

904
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: the two hours and I would go to work. And

905
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,800
Speaker 1: so for the first month that was you know, fifteen

906
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 1: sixteen hour days. You're showing up your in hair and

907
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 1: makeup for an hour and half and then you're doing

908
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 1: your twelve hour shoot day I was definitely on my pregnancy,

909
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:12,879
Speaker 1: my both high, probably because it was what was calling through.

910
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: So I just remember being on set and you know,

911
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 1: being serena joying like uh, you know, screaming and like

912
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 1: crying and then going back to the trailer and be like,

913
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: OHI my baby, my babe, and feeding and feeding being

914
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 1: my husband and then back to the serena. Joran, was

915
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 1: your husband, did you have a net? Did you have help?

916
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: Was it just your husband? My husband is a saint,

917
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 1: blessed him, was there the entire time, so I had

918
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: I mean if I talked about feeling supported in, you know,

919
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: really having our little family units. So we got through that.

920
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 1: I did end up heeling over in at the end

921
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,359
Speaker 1: of the fourth week. I remember, I literally remember kind

922
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: of just kind of stumbling. I remember and Owd holding

923
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 1: holding me up and being like, honey, you need to sleep.

924
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: And I remember losing coming in and being like, listen,

925
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 1: take tomorrow, don't worry about it. And we did. We

926
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 1: had to take a day because it was it was

927
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 1: really hard. I mean, I started having ocular migraines. I

928
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 1: remember doing a scene with Joe and he plays commander

929
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 1: what if in my husband? And I remember the ocular

930
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: Migraine came on and I sold the kaleidoscope go through

931
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: my vision, and then I just sold black and I

932
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 1: essentially was like blind and we were still in the

933
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: scene and I actual remembered acting through it and at

934
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 1: the end just saying I'm so sorry. I just I

935
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 1: can't really see, and I my body was just I

936
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: mean screaming at me. You need more sleep. But thank god,

937
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 1: you know, my my mood and my hormones were really

938
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 1: working for me in my favor. I think that I

939
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: I wrote them out and for a year, I mean

940
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 1: we did. We finished Handmaids. We went back to l A.

941
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 1: We packed our bags and three days later we were

942
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 1: on a plane to Australia to shoot State List. Oh

943
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:09,280
Speaker 1: my good lord, have mercy Von you have not stopped?

944
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 1: Have you stopped since then? Oh? I guess the pandemic?

945
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 1: Oh wow, wow? Can you explain to me go back?

946
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 1: Has your have your kids ever asked like, mommy, are

947
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 1: you okay? Like if you ever come back to that

948
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 1: now that williams older and Henry how old are they

949
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: now at the time of this podcast? Henry is seven months,

950
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: William is what month are we in? And July? Yeah, yeah,

951
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 1: who the hell even knows July, so he will be

952
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 1: four in October, so he's three and a half. He's

953
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 1: be four, yeah, and I'll be alb five. So when

954
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: does he ever come into your trailer or is he

955
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: allowed on set? Well since COVID no, right, you know,

956
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: well he has been this year. But we but we

957
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: also made it so that my husband, so we're all

958
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: I'll show tests every single day. Basically we get COVID

959
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: tested and we have to double mosque in the whole bit.

960
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 1: So my husband is on the testing rotation because and

961
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 1: then my mom was living us for a little bit,

962
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: so she was helping um. And then so we were

963
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:25,759
Speaker 1: all on the testing you know, schedule as if we're employees,

964
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: you know, all of us good as you should be.

965
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: So then so then by default the kids would come

966
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: and visit, and William loves coming to work. He does

967
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: does he ever say like mommy, are you okay? Like

968
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: if he ever has he ever seen anything like scary

969
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 1: by accident scenes? No, no, no, he's not seen no

970
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 1: no good good yeah, good good good good good good Conde.

971
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:54,280
Speaker 1: I would say that's probably like that's good, um, okay,

972
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 1: handmade s tale since we're in this arena. Uh how

973
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: what was your reaction when you heard roe v Wade?

974
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 1: I know, we don't even have to talk about it.

975
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 1: That's a good sound though, that really here it is? Yeah,

976
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: there it is. I don't know. I mean, I to

977
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 1: be honest, I mean, is it boat to say I

978
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 1: wasn't surprised. I mean, no, we shouldn't. It was leaked

979
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: months ago. It was kind of expected. I just it

980
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: just is astounding to me. I don't know that I've

981
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 1: fully had time to process it because things have been

982
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 1: so insanely in intense in my little bubble over here. Um.

983
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, that's that sounds kind of encompasses

984
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:47,880
Speaker 1: all of it. So many instagrams when when roe v

985
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 1: Wade got um overturned about Handmaid's Tale, I even posted

986
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 1: one like we're living somewhere in the middle of like

987
00:55:55,960 --> 00:56:03,240
Speaker 1: Handmaid's Tale all all the it's really really wild times

988
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: and I'm really hoping. I don't know, I can't even

989
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 1: was the transition more wild for you to go from

990
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't have a baby to having a baby,

991
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 1: or was the transition of having one baby to now

992
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 1: being a mother of two, like which was the one

993
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 1: that really threw you in terms of everything the ladder.

994
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: Me too, me too, It's wild. I feel the same way, Like,

995
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 1: do you find it? How are you feeling with um

996
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 1: splitting your attention love all of that between two kids?

997
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 1: Does William feel any jealousy? How is he taking on

998
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:46,280
Speaker 1: the big brother role? All of that? That's been hard?

999
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 1: That has been really really hard. I mean he's such

1000
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 1: a beautiful smar, great kids. Um, but he's definitely he's

1001
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:00,320
Speaker 1: still you know, he feels it. I mean there was

1002
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 1: a point in time you can hear Henry. Yeah, I

1003
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 1: hear a little baby. I remember, you know, it was

1004
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: like a honeymoon period for the first couple of days

1005
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,839
Speaker 1: when he was born. And then you know, day four,

1006
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 1: we were all at the dinner table and Henry was

1007
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 1: sleeping a little bastnet by my feet and he William

1008
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 1: was just like and then he looked at Henry and said, Mom,

1009
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 1: I don't want Henry at the dinner table, and can

1010
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 1: you please put him back in your belly? And I

1011
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 1: was like, okay, Um, I hear you, I see you,

1012
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: I feel you. It's okay to have these feelings. It

1013
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 1: was an ed I tell you what this is when

1014
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 1: I really had got my education in validating feelings for

1015
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: him and allowing him to have the space to retaliate

1016
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 1: have his feelings, you know. And it's been a real

1017
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: learning process, um and also kind of like reparenting myself

1018
00:57:56,640 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: and learning how to parent in this modern way of

1019
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 1: you know, we're not going to shy away from experiencing feelings,

1020
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 1: I mean, or telling him like it's okay, you're fine,

1021
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,919
Speaker 1: You're fine. Right, It's like it's like no, no acknowledging

1022
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 1: that he does feel these things and they're not they're

1023
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: not to be shushed or pushed away. Yeah, exactly. So

1024
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 1: it's been it's hard. I mean, you know, especially in

1025
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 1: those super high intense moments where he's having some real

1026
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 1: big feelings about it and you know he's like throwing

1027
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: a plastic bothroom stool or whatever. You know, there's there's

1028
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 1: those moments too, and and it's up to me. It's

1029
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: my job to figure out what is he upset about.

1030
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: You know, he's he can he's going to pull me

1031
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,919
Speaker 1: aside and the same mom I I feel a little

1032
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 1: bit sad that your attention is split now between me.

1033
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:52,120
Speaker 1: He's going to act out in a different way, you know,

1034
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 1: he's gonna act in a different way, which might look

1035
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:58,479
Speaker 1: like throwing a toy at the baby, or or having

1036
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: a tantrum or blame, you know, having a feeling that

1037
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 1: blows up somewhere else that's completely unrelated. But you're wise

1038
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: enough to know, Oh, this is him being pissed that

1039
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,479
Speaker 1: I can't give him my full attemption because I'm feeding

1040
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 1: the baby. Yeah, I mean, and that bits hot because

1041
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 1: like sometimes I'm not wise enough. Like sometimes, gosh, it's

1042
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 1: hard because you're you know, you got you got you

1043
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 1: and your your mom. You've got so many other things

1044
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 1: going on, especially you know if you're juggling five things

1045
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:27,760
Speaker 1: in the day. And um, I think it's been amazing

1046
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 1: actually to to have had this opportunity to go down

1047
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 1: this path with him. Like it's it's hard, but gosh,

1048
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 1: like we all learn so much as we go. As

1049
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 1: like a mom, I really have learned a lot about

1050
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: myself as well, and I've you know, it really forces

1051
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: you to really dig deep into yourself and come to

1052
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 1: understand your own little triggers and why you're taller sets

1053
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 1: you off in a certain way. Oh my god, my

1054
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 1: toddler is my greatest trigger I've ever had in my life.

1055
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:15,360
Speaker 1: It's he is my greatest joy, my greatest test, my

1056
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,760
Speaker 1: greatest everything, Like it's unbelievable. My daughter, I don't feel

1057
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 1: that way yet. It's weird. She's I feel like that's

1058
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 1: coming for us. She's one and a half. But you

1059
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 1: know what helped me a lot. I don't know, take

1060
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 1: us or leave it. Another guest we had on Robin Eucolus.

1061
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 1: This might be very woo woo, but once they start

1062
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 1: fighting over toys, which I'm at that age right, so

1063
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 1: one and half and four and a half, so a

1064
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: lot of it is they get along great and then

1065
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 1: all of a sudden it's def con for over one

1066
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 1: thing that they're having major conflict over. And then sometimes

1067
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 1: that toy needs to take a break and the toy

1068
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 1: has to have a time out, right, like no, we're

1069
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 1: moving on to something else. But I constantly say to myself,

1070
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: this is really woo woo. But I do think it

1071
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 1: helps rob been Nucholus, who was on this shoie. She

1072
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 1: says to me, well, you know, your son chose to

1073
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 1: be first and your daughter chose to be second, and

1074
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:09,840
Speaker 1: that's their journey and path to learn what they have

1075
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: to learn. So sometimes I like, just let them figure it,

1076
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 1: Like I don't even intervene. I'm just like let it

1077
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 1: like they're going to figure it out, and that's her journey.

1078
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 1: Like she's supposed to learn what she's supposed to learn

1079
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:21,040
Speaker 1: as long as everyone's safe, do you know what I mean?

1080
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 1: And he used to both learn what he's supposed to learn.

1081
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 1: And yes, I try to encourage it half the time too,

1082
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 1: but half the time I'm too tired, and I'm just like,

1083
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 1: figure it out. I love you both so much, and

1084
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 1: you love each other, and that's a huge value in

1085
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,440
Speaker 1: our family that when push comes to shove, we all

1086
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 1: have each other's backs and we are such a team.

1087
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 1: But also like, yeah, she's got to use her voice

1088
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:44,439
Speaker 1: and fight for her place, and he's got to give

1089
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 1: it up and learn how to share, you know what

1090
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 1: I mean. And it's really fucking crazy. Okay, I don't

1091
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 1: want to say, Okay, we have to finish up because

1092
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 1: you have your baby crying in the background. What's the

1093
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 1: best pit of parenting advice you've gotten. Oh my gosh, God,

1094
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 1: as as Henry is crying in the background and needing

1095
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: you and you're one breast so badly. I mean the best,

1096
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: but parenting advice is do it your way. You your gut,

1097
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,240
Speaker 1: listen to your gut and your inner voice. Oh, Henry,

1098
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:27,720
Speaker 1: hi baby, Hi baby, Mommy's coming, Mommy's coming. We swear,

1099
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: take your own. I know your story really is about

1100
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 1: trusting your gut. I mean, even down to breastfeeding for

1101
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 1: a long time, because I've been breastfeeding over a year

1102
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 1: and a half, and I get people, even my mom like,

1103
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 1: thank god, she doesn't listen to this, but thank you know,

1104
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 1: she's like, why you need to stop that. There's so

1105
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 1: many people who are shocked at like you're going pasta

1106
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 1: a year or past whatever. But it's you're gonna get

1107
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 1: ship any way you look at it. So the stronger

1108
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 1: you can get your mom must all in your instincts

1109
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: to listen to yourself and quiet the other things in

1110
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 1: every step of the way, the better. Yeah. I mean,

1111
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 1: even even things like I mean, and I went through this,

1112
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,360
Speaker 1: like my best friend's sister had a baby and now

1113
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:13,080
Speaker 1: she's at the point where she's just so tired because

1114
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 1: he's teating. He wants to breastfeede throughout the night and

1115
01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 1: he's i mean, he's like one year old now, and

1116
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: and she's like, I just want to have him in

1117
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: the bed with me, and I'm like coping so much

1118
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 1: shit about just having him in the bed with me,

1119
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 1: because you know, he just wants to own the mom

1120
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, you just just do you. You

1121
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 1: are the one doing it if it's going to make you,

1122
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 1: guys feel better to do that or you, you know,

1123
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,960
Speaker 1: if you're telling you know, like you you have to

1124
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 1: just follow your gut. You're the one like nourishing feeding.

1125
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 1: There's there's an unspoken kind of communication going on as well,

1126
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 1: and there are things that you can't even articulate about

1127
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 1: the experience. It's just there's just so many things. Finish

1128
01:03:56,280 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 1: this sentence and then we're finished. Parenthood is magically, it's

1129
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 1: also really hard. I didn't you know, I don't know,

1130
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 1: but I think it's more in the end, you know,

1131
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:16,920
Speaker 1: you look back on all of this, all the hot stuff,

1132
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 1: and I think magical winds. Yes, I'm so grateful that

1133
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 1: you made time amidst I can't imagine you're like to

1134
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: have a seven month old and a three and a

1135
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 1: half year old and Handmaid's Tale and NonStop travel is

1136
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:39,400
Speaker 1: really fucking impressive. Yvonne and I hope whatever this little

1137
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 1: time break you have in your schedule that you're able

1138
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 1: to because that's even hard in itself. To regulate and

1139
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 1: unwind and just be where you're at is so hard

1140
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:52,640
Speaker 1: in and of itself. I mean, I agree self care

1141
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:56,680
Speaker 1: is really hot. Oh forget it. Self care. Never heard

1142
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 1: of it, Never heard of it. I had to find

1143
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:02,600
Speaker 1: to the nail to go get a haircut today. Um,

1144
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being on Katie's Crib. This

1145
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,320
Speaker 1: was such a wonderful time. I just am such a

1146
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,439
Speaker 1: fan that personally and professionally of yours. Oh my gosh,

1147
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 1: thank you for having me. This is so fun. I

1148
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 1: remember listening to this podcast like way back when. I remember,

1149
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 1: thank you for having it. I mean, this is what

1150
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 1: we need in the wall. Thank you guys so much

1151
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,120
Speaker 1: for listening to today's episode. I want to hear from you.

1152
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,840
Speaker 1: Let's chat questions, comments, concerns. Let me know. You can

1153
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:38,920
Speaker 1: always find me at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com.

1154
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda Land Audio in

1155
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 1: partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shanda

1156
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:50,280
Speaker 1: land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts

1157
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite chips,