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Speaker 1: Hey, Chip, I just sounded like my sister. That's how

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Speaker 1: she says it when I call her lit up.

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Speaker 2: Chip was about to sing you a song. So I

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Speaker 2: did a podcast on Wednesday that the intuitive told me

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Speaker 2: that she kept picturing me behind a microphone like emotionally

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Speaker 2: belting out a song, and she's like, I have now

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Speaker 2: done this reading with you. Now I'm doing this podcast

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Speaker 2: with you, and that is not leaving me. And I thought,

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm not a singer, though in fact, on

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Speaker 2: my Friday episodes with my co host, we try to

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Speaker 2: sing sometimes and we're terrible. You don't.

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Speaker 1: I want to know something funny is I was Actually

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Speaker 1: I was in the studio yesterday with the band Lula

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Speaker 1: and ended up in the vocal booth doing gang vocals

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Speaker 1: on the chorus.

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Speaker 2: What's a gang vocal similar to a gang bang?

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Speaker 1: No? Well yeah, but everyone's singing, so it's like we

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Speaker 1: were the choir basically, so everyone that was happened to

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Speaker 1: be at the studio that at that time studio and

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Speaker 1: we sang harmonies.

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Speaker 2: Was she channeling your energy on me? Maybe I do

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Speaker 2: I need to do a gang vocal?

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Speaker 1: Maybe we need to add you?

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Speaker 2: I I was dying laughing every time she says that.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I mean, I definitely think that I'm in

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Speaker 2: a phase of learning how to express so I could

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Speaker 2: see that, but like actually singing by myself behind a mic,

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Speaker 2: I mean sorry to the audience.

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Speaker 1: And advance karaoke.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know I don't even really like to

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Speaker 2: do that anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't.

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Speaker 2: I guess not a shoot.

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Speaker 3: So anyway, I'm always down.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to be singing for a week. My

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Speaker 2: homework is to sing a song by myself for five minutes,

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Speaker 2: just to like see what happens and see if it

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Speaker 2: opens anything up. So there you go.

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Speaker 1: She gave you homework. Yes, oh wow.

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Speaker 2: I love intuitives that give homework because it's been it's

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Speaker 2: like actually putting things, making things applicable in your life,

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Speaker 2: like actually putting them into practice.

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Speaker 1: Next week on the Velvet Edge, we're going to hear

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Speaker 1: the Day Be a single from.

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Speaker 2: Kelly Do you know what I? Do?

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Speaker 1: You know what?

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Speaker 2: Song? I did today? After that podcast, I was prepping

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Speaker 2: for some other stuff and then I was sitting in

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Speaker 2: front of my computer and I did Lisa Lobe stay.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I just added that to my karaoke list.

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Speaker 2: For some reason, that has always been the one song.

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Speaker 2: When I was younger, I was like, maybe I kind

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Speaker 2: of sound like Lisa Lobe Like I thought maybe I could.

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Speaker 2: I think it's because I can stay on pitch with

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Speaker 2: her the whole entire time, Like I can hit all

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Speaker 2: the notes. Yeah, in my head, I sound just like her.

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Speaker 1: It gets to be a bit tongue twistery at the end.

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Speaker 2: I know every word. Yeah, I know the part you're

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Speaker 2: talking about though. Yeah, call me because you want me

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Speaker 2: and went to you let me go. Yeah, you try

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Speaker 2: to give away keep her anyway.

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Speaker 1: That's a fun I got a fun little fact about

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Speaker 1: that song. It's the only independent Well it might that

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Speaker 1: this might not be a fact anymore because it's an

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Speaker 1: older song, but when it hit number one on the

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Speaker 1: pop chart, it was the first time an independent song

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Speaker 1: was number one on the pop chart because she wasn't

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Speaker 1: on a record label. Oh really, Yeah, that song was

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Speaker 1: on the Reality Bite soundtrack.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that was how I got was put out.

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Speaker 1: Through a major label, but she wasn't signed yet. She

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Speaker 1: was Ethan Hawk's.

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Speaker 3: Neighbor, no way, Yeah, she.

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Speaker 1: Was his neighbor, and he put her on the soundtrack.

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Speaker 2: My god, I used to love her.

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Speaker 1: M hmm, I have that. I have her first album

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Speaker 1: on cassette. It's called the Purple Tape.

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Speaker 2: That's what her cassette is called.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because it was purple.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh my god, look at all these fun facts.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know what I was opening Pandora's box

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Speaker 2: when I said, Lisa Lobe. Anyway, maybe i'll sing it

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Speaker 2: again later and I'll alwoice note it to you.

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Speaker 3: My practice.

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Speaker 2: That's not what we're actually here to talk about. We

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Speaker 2: actually both just did a really interesting experience experiment. So

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Speaker 2: if you are not driving, I would uh, does it

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Speaker 2: employ you? Is that how you say this? Poor implore?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 2: I knew that wasn't right, but my brain's a little

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Speaker 2: dead today. I would implore you to take out your

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Speaker 2: phone open if you have an iPhone, go to your settings.

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Speaker 2: Then what do I do, Chip, I'm already forget you.

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Speaker 1: Go to settings and look.

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Speaker 2: At screen screen time.

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Speaker 1: Let me see if I can find out for those

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Speaker 1: Android users.

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Speaker 2: Android, Yes, if you're an Android user, So Chip texted

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Speaker 2: me and says, have you ever looked at your screen time?

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Speaker 2: Which of course I have, But now I choose to

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Speaker 2: live in denial. And not. But I'm kind of glad

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Speaker 2: you brought this back up to me because I do

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Speaker 2: feel like when I just let it free flow and

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Speaker 2: I'm not at all paying attention, it gets a little

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Speaker 2: out of hand. Did you want to, like tell us

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Speaker 2: some of your numbers?

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Speaker 1: Chip, Yeah, so I was shocked. So my my daily

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Speaker 1: average is down this week to down twenty one percent

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Speaker 1: from last week to almost eight hours of use on

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Speaker 1: my phone seven hours and fifty one minutes.

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Speaker 3: That's your daily after that's the average daily.

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Speaker 1: Yes, for yesterday, I was on my phone ten hours

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Speaker 1: in fifty three minutes one day calling to me.

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Speaker 2: Does that include phone calls?

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Speaker 1: Probably, but it's not. I don't talk on the phone

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Speaker 1: that much. I don't even see where phone is on.

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Speaker 2: I don't actually know that it does. That's what's making

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Speaker 2: it worse because it says see all app and website activity.

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Speaker 2: My daily average is seven hours and thirty two minutes.

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Speaker 2: That's on apps and websites. Yeah, what's your highest it like,

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Speaker 2: what's your highest category?

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Speaker 1: My most used category is mess I message? So texting?

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Speaker 2: Are you sure? Did you press the most?

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Speaker 1: It's just it's so it's social.

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Speaker 2: Not social as well? Does that include messages.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, gossages.

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Speaker 1: Messages fall into that. So oh, I spent a whopping

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Speaker 1: eleven seconds today on LinkedIn.

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Speaker 2: I won't even have LinkedIn. What is your okay screen

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Speaker 2: time for social? What is yours for last week?

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Speaker 1: Last week?

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Speaker 2: Mine is shocking? I want to I don't even know

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Speaker 2: if I want to say it.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, mine is I don't know if this

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Speaker 1: is collective. I don't know how to read it properly.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at last week and it says eighteen hours

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Speaker 1: and sixteen minutes.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, mine says seventeen hours and sixteen minutes. Crazy,

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Speaker 2: that must be total though, right of the week. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: my daily average is four hours and nineteen minutes.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my daily average is four hours and thirty

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Speaker 1: four seconds.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. So Chip and I got to talking

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Speaker 2: about this because we were just I mean, we comment

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Speaker 2: about this all the time on this podcast, of just

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Speaker 2: how we kind of feel like we float through this

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Speaker 2: world or we're not fully paying attention to things. We're

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Speaker 2: just like driving the bus, I'm going to work the

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Speaker 2: hustle of all the things. And you actually sent me

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Speaker 2: a really interesting article. There was a couple, but this

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Speaker 2: one post from Mel Robbins if you guys ever follow her,

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Speaker 2: but she's on Instagram. She said, on average, you will

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Speaker 2: spend two twenty years of your life just scrolling through

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Speaker 2: your phone. Imagine it's the end of your life and

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Speaker 2: someone says, would you like an extra twenty years and

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Speaker 2: your answer is nah, I'd rather have I'd rather have

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Speaker 2: spent twenty years scrolling mindlessly on my phone.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it really puts it in perspective, like big time.

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Speaker 1: I know I use my phone a lot for work,

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Speaker 1: and I think so the text messaging has a lot

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Speaker 1: to do with work. But it's shocking to me the

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Speaker 1: differentiation between how much time I spend on email on

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Speaker 1: my phone versus text messaging. And you know, a lot

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Speaker 1: of work stuff.

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Speaker 3: Now does well. We talked about that. I hate it.

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Speaker 1: I hate texting for work, but you just have to.

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Speaker 3: It just is what it is, just the world.

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Speaker 1: That we live in now. But it's it's a huge

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Speaker 1: difference between mail and texting. I would imagine that I

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Speaker 1: just do more of the emailing on my computer, but

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Speaker 1: I also I am running around a lot. I'm not often

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Speaker 1: just sitting at my desk.

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Speaker 2: That's why I think I was shocked by your numbers

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Speaker 2: because I feel like you're either driving or running around

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Speaker 2: pretty consistently.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm one of those bad people that is

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Speaker 1: on my phone a lot when I'm driving.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a bad person. Don't talk about my friend

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Speaker 2: the way.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm just like, it's not a smart thing to do,

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Speaker 1: and I recognize that, but I also do it, you know,

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Speaker 1: so I need to be better about it.

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Speaker 2: Would you just say when you're driving when I'm driving, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's to be better about that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to be better about it.

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Speaker 2: I just think that it's so fascinating because it's such

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Speaker 2: a I had a somatic therapist once tell me that

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Speaker 2: motion that I'm doing. The motion right now, you guys

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Speaker 2: have like the scroll, Like the way we move our

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Speaker 2: finger up and down on the phone when we're scrolling

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Speaker 2: is a way that we calm our nervous system, which

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Speaker 2: I found fascinating because really it's yes, it's a way

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Speaker 2: we disassociate. And so the social media people specifically are

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Speaker 2: so brilliant because they have learned how to tap into

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Speaker 2: our addictive brain in our nervous systems, and so we're

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Speaker 2: still there doing that scrolling motion after the like at

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Speaker 2: the end of a long day, or if you find

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Speaker 2: yourself doing it in between task or when you're on

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Speaker 2: the phone with someone and you like need to go

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Speaker 2: do that really your nervous system is like, I'm overloaded,

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Speaker 2: is what that's saying.

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Speaker 1: Thingfore, no, we've never done so it's something that we've

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Speaker 1: adapted to.

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Speaker 2: What's what you do on your phone? So before like

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Speaker 2: when you only had MySpace on your computer, it was different,

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Speaker 2: but somehow, like that's how it's progressed in our society

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Speaker 2: now that we have such access to apps on our phone,

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Speaker 2: and that could be for dating apps, that could be anything.

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Speaker 2: It's like we always wonder why these things are so addictive.

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Speaker 2: There's obviously like the validation piece, you know, the reward

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Speaker 2: process that speaks to our brains and our nervous systems.

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Speaker 2: But I just thought that that's so interesting about that motion,

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Speaker 2: and so I have started to try, like if I

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Speaker 2: find myself having those days where I'm just not able

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Speaker 2: to not pick up my phone, I'm like, what is

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Speaker 2: going on? Like trying to ask yourself the deeper question.

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Speaker 2: But it's crazy how unconscious it is, you know, like

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Speaker 2: it's literally like that phantom even vibrate thing that happens

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Speaker 2: in the back pocket, or if you if you see

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Speaker 2: someone else pick up their phone and they're checking it,

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Speaker 2: like you have to check yours all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: do you notice it.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like an adult pacifier if you think about it,

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Speaker 1: because you know, when I walk in, if I'm like

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Speaker 1: early to a bar, a restaurant or something, it's like

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Speaker 1: my shield.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can like look like.

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Speaker 1: I'm not alone, I can disappear into something, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I tell myself, oh, I can use this time to

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Speaker 1: get some stuff done.

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Speaker 3: But if I look at the stats on my right.

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Speaker 1: For the most part, I'm probably not doing shit that's

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Speaker 1: worth doing, you know. Yeah, so you know I I

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Speaker 1: have to change something like this is shocking to me.

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Speaker 1: This is the first time I've ever looked at like

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Speaker 1: I had to google how to figure it out. And

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Speaker 1: by the way, if you're an Android user, what you

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Speaker 1: would do is you open your device's settings app and

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Speaker 1: then tap Digital well Being and Parental Controls, and there's

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Speaker 1: charts that show you're ice us and then you should

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Speaker 1: throw away your phone again on my.

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Speaker 2: Phone, don't start in one of those green pegs. I

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Speaker 2: can't I can't hear that rant again. I will say,

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Speaker 2: there is something you can do on iPhones, And I

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Speaker 2: did have this set up for me for a while

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Speaker 2: where it was like, after an hour on your social media,

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Speaker 2: you would get it stops you. It like takes you

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Speaker 2: out of it, and it goes alert. You've been on

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Speaker 2: here for an hour. Let me tell you how fast

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Speaker 2: that comes in your day. There would be times where

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Speaker 2: I'm like, it's eight am, how am I already getting that?

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Speaker 2: Like right? And so anyway, I wouldn't necessarily follow the rules,

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Speaker 2: but it was something that I had in place that

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Speaker 2: did help me actually be conscious of it more.

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Speaker 1: I mean, does it not lock you out of the

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Speaker 1: app until the next.

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Speaker 2: Day, No, you can just close it out.

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Speaker 1: See, there must be some way, like because of with

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Speaker 1: the parental control, you might have to go a little

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Speaker 1: deeper because there are parental controls that you can literally

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Speaker 1: lock them out.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you sound like such an addict right now,

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Speaker 2: though when you hear yourself.

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Speaker 1: I mean no, truthfully, it's I would need something that

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Speaker 1: extreme because I would do exactly what you did. Ah

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Speaker 1: fuck it, Like in the same way that like when

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Speaker 1: my alarm goes off at six am, I hit snooze

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Speaker 1: for an hour.

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Speaker 2: We'll tell about that stat.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, wait a minute, why have I

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Speaker 1: used my clock more than I used email that day? Well,

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Speaker 1: because I like, I hit snooze for an hour and

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Speaker 1: so you're in your clock is open the whole time

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Speaker 1: that so it's from like six am to seven am.

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Speaker 1: The other day.

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Speaker 2: I just can't The snooze thing is so bizarre to me.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand it because I'm like, just set your

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Speaker 2: alarm for seven, then.

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Speaker 1: Why then I would hit snooze till eight.

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Speaker 2: It's just such disrupted sleep, I guess, so I don't

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Speaker 2: feel rested after. It makes me feel worse if I'm.

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Speaker 1: Trying to shift my daily habits so that I wake

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Speaker 1: up earlier so that I can get like a dog

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Speaker 1: walk in, some meditation, some journaling and the gym, but

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Speaker 1: all before work.

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Speaker 3: But it's really I know, it's really hard to.

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Speaker 1: Shift that because I'm used to standing up really late,

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Speaker 1: and waking up at six is really hard. So I

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Speaker 1: have started Now I put my phone in the kitchen

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Speaker 1: and an alarm clock in the kitchen, so I have

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Speaker 1: to get out of bed to turn them off.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then once you're out, it's like you're up.

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Speaker 2: You might as well make a coffee while you're yeah.

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Speaker 1: Right, and then once I want and you know, after

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Speaker 1: a few days of this, it will start to form

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Speaker 1: a habit where it's a lot easier just to get

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Speaker 1: up at that time because I actually really love being

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Speaker 1: up in the morning. I also happen to love sleeping,

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Speaker 1: so if I can sleep later, I do. But this

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Speaker 1: was a short tail sign, Like that's really embarrassing. It's

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Speaker 1: shocking you were on your clock for an hour. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so like what a lame app to be on the clock.

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Speaker 3: It's like what you did.

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Speaker 2: Send me another post that I thought was really interesting

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Speaker 2: because it really breaks down because when we were talking

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Speaker 2: about let me backtrack for a second, when we were

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Speaker 2: talking about the phone. Then you were like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: this is crazy. Think about all the time we're missing

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Speaker 2: with the people in our lives, like actually interacting with

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Speaker 2: real human beings, really truly connecting, not just disassociating or

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Speaker 2: thinking that being on social media is true connection. Like

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Speaker 2: we're missing relationships with the people in our lives. And

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Speaker 2: then you found this post. Do you want to read

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Speaker 2: it or do you want me to?

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Speaker 1: You can start because there's several slides.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, this is on tanks good news. But so

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Speaker 2: basically they're talking about how from the time we're born

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Speaker 2: until our death, there's different seasons that different relationships are

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Speaker 2: like priorities. So when you first start, obviously, like your

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Speaker 2: relationship with your parents and your siblings, like your immediate

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Speaker 2: family is high, but it peaks in childhood and then

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Speaker 2: it declines after the age of twenty. So the key

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Speaker 2: takeaways they say with this slide is time with family

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Speaker 2: is limited. Time with your parents declines sharply after age twenty.

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Speaker 2: You may only see your loved ones a few more times.

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Speaker 2: Prioritize and cherish every moment.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's wild you.

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Speaker 2: Talk about that one a lot, because you don't. I

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Speaker 2: was talking about recently, like my parents are actually moving

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Speaker 2: to Nashville, and I'm so grateful because even if I

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Speaker 2: see them once a week, it's more than I'm like,

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Speaker 2: we're seeing them now twice a year, three times a year,

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Speaker 2: you know, like not very often on holidays. And it's like,

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Speaker 2: as everyone gets older, you start to really take that

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Speaker 2: into consideration of like, oh my gosh, there's not that

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Speaker 2: much times. If I keep on this routine of how

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Speaker 2: often I'm seeing them, there's not many times, and I'm

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Speaker 2: to see them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the closer the older we all get, the worse

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Speaker 1: it gets. And you know, you and I it's a

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Speaker 1: little different because we're both single without children, right, Like

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Speaker 1: I think about with my sister, who actually lives a

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Speaker 1: lot closer to my parents and because of that gets

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Speaker 1: to see them more often. But the older her kids

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Speaker 1: are getting, the more complicated it is for her to

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Speaker 1: carve time out to go see my parents, of course,

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Speaker 1: because she's got softball.

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Speaker 2: Games, running them around all.

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Speaker 1: And running them around doctor's appointments, someone's sick, and she

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to get my parents sick and all of

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Speaker 1: the things. And there's you know, there's a million reasons.

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Speaker 1: Right Seeing this post and seeing the graph is actually,

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Speaker 1: like it's kind of heartbreaking when you think about it,

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Speaker 1: Like especially for people that move away, Like I haven't

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Speaker 1: lived where I grew up since i was eighteen years old, right,

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Speaker 1: so the amount of time that I've gotten to spend

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Speaker 1: with my parents is diminished because of that. So I,

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Speaker 1: you know, I do make a very concerted effort to

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Speaker 1: try and get home several times a year, and if

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Speaker 1: there's a work excuse for me to be close to

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Speaker 1: it like closer to home. I'll try and build in

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Speaker 1: a trip home, even if it's for one night, because

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Speaker 1: I know how much it means to them, and when

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Speaker 1: they're gone, it'll mean even more to me. You know

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Speaker 1: that I put in that effort.

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Speaker 2: For sure, and you embrace the time you have with them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: This one says time spent with friends peaks at eighteen

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Speaker 2: and declines sharply to decline sharply to a low baseline.

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Speaker 2: Key takeaways embrace friendship, Brett, but focus on deb up.

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Speaker 2: Cherish those who are with you through good and bad times.

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Speaker 2: Invest your energy and healthy, meaningful friendships that last.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy because you know that one makes

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Speaker 1: a lot of sense when I look at it. But

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Speaker 1: as someone who's single, you know, and doesn't live in

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Speaker 1: the same town as my parents, my family.

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Speaker 2: Are my friendriends well, our friend is really good at

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Speaker 2: seeing each other right, And so.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that that graph necessarily applies to me,

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Speaker 1: but I can see how in general it applies to

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Speaker 1: most people. Because you know, your life is pretty care

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00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 1: free until you're eighteen, and then you go off to

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Speaker 1: college and responsibilities set in and you're starting families of

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Speaker 1: your own and all those things. So time with friends

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Speaker 1: becomes less of a priority. But for me, you know,

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Speaker 1: if if I'm not with friends, I'm alone.

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Speaker 2: Well right, me too, So my graph.

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Speaker 1: Is a little different. Like granted, like i'd have to

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Speaker 1: quantify Wich friends because it would have to be very

390
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Speaker 1: different graphs. Like obviously my high school friends, that graph

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Speaker 1: really does apply to me, Yeah, because to speak to them.

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Speaker 1: And then I have New York friends and LA friends

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Speaker 1: and Nashville friends, and so I have I guess I

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Speaker 1: have different graphs, But I think that the key takeaway

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Speaker 1: for me there is is like to identify those that

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Speaker 1: you just can't live without and make sure to spend

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Speaker 1: as much time with or communicate with them as much

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Speaker 1: as possible.

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Speaker 2: Well I like the depth, not Brett like it. I

400
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 2: do think as you get older or for me, that

401
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,399
Speaker 2: this is how it's worked. I've started to not have

402
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Speaker 2: as many acquaintances per se, like in your twenties and stuff.

403
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 2: Remember I'd be like, oh, I just want to go out,

404
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Speaker 2: so who can I do that with? And it's like

405
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Speaker 2: you go up with the person who didn't barely even knew,

406
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Speaker 2: like it was just I don't know, we would just

407
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 2: hang out with different kinds of people. Now, I'm like,

408
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 2: if I'm giving effort into a relationship or time, because

409
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Speaker 2: none of us have that much of that because of

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Speaker 2: work and responsibilities and all the things you mentioned. I

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00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 2: do think I need it to be someone who I

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Speaker 2: genuinely have a connection with, who is pouring into me

413
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Speaker 2: as much as I'm pouring into them, that we could

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Speaker 2: actually talk about real shit. We're not just like going

415
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 2: and getting drunk together like you win in your twenties,

416
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 2: you know, like your relationships do change. But I do

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Speaker 2: think the depth piece is something to really consider as

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Speaker 2: you get older.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, times it with partner is the opposite, But that

421
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 2: actually goes to show if you're not happy in your

422
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 2: marriage or your relationship, like you're wasting a lot of

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Speaker 2: time because that trends upwards until death. So the key

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Speaker 2: takeaways there, he says, are, who you choose as your

425
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Speaker 2: partner is actually the most important decision you'll ever make.

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Speaker 2: Find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, never settle

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Speaker 2: for less than love.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I mean, the end of that graph is

429
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Speaker 1: really sad too, because it's a steep drop off, which

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Speaker 1: means that dies death.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's the inevitable that try is not happening, but

433
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Speaker 2: we all will die.

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Speaker 1: It's also interesting too, sort of. I mean, I don't

435
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Speaker 1: know how where they got the graphs from, but the

436
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Speaker 1: really sharp endclines is between like twenty four and thirty.

437
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Speaker 1: I wonder if that's like that that's the window when

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Speaker 1: most people get married.

439
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 2: Probably, yeah, that's you're right, because it rises a lot. Yeah,

440
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 2: it's probably like look like that. That's okay, though, everyone's

441
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Speaker 2: on their own journey. I've spent with children peaks in

442
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 2: your thirties, so that's I guess when people are having

443
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 2: kids more decline sharply thereafter time with your children is short.

444
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 2: Say that's the opposite of the parents. Obviously, slow down

445
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 2: and embrace the sweetness that children bring to your life.

446
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: Co workers, this is an interesting one. Steady during the

447
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 2: prime working years from twenty to sixty. But you spent

448
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 2: a lot of time with your coworkers.

449
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 1: Yes, it's the longest relationships that you have, really crazy

450
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: who the most steady? I guess.

451
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

452
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 2: Who you choose to work with is one of the

453
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: most important decisions you'll make as well. Find work and

454
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 2: coworkers that create energy in your life. We have an

455
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 2: interesting thing there too, though, because literally we work with

456
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 2: our best friends.

457
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 3: True.

458
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's how my friends have become my friends

459
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 2: is from work.

460
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 1: Yeah. And depending on where you live, you might not

461
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 1: have as many options of you know, what you get

462
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 1: to do or or who you get to work with.

463
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 2: True.

464
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 1: So we're a bit of an anomaly there. But that said,

465
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: I think if you are able to choose to do

466
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 1: something that you love, you're probably going to end up

467
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: finding like minded people that you're going to get along with.

468
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 2: Really. Well, Time's been Alone was a little weird too.

469
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 2: It says it steadily increases throughout your life, which if

470
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 2: you really think about, is true. And my mom has

471
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 2: always said this, like the older you get, the more

472
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 2: clear it becomes. You remember, you came into this world alone,

473
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 2: and you're going to actually leave alone too, even if

474
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 2: you're surrounded by loved ones. Like, it's an experience that

475
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 2: we all go through by ourselves.

476
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 1: Right.

477
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: So he says, learn to a solitude, flexure, boredom, muscle, regularly,

478
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 2: find happiness and joy in the time you have to yourself.

479
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 2: There will be a whole lot of it as you

480
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 2: get older. So in summary, one family time is limited. Chairshit. Two.

481
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 2: Friend time is limited. Prioritize real ones. Three partner time

482
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 2: is significant, never settle for children. Time is precious, be present.

483
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 2: Five coworker time is significant. Find energy. Six alone time

484
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 2: is highest. Love yourself, damn and don't get off your phone.

485
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: Get off your phones.

486
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 2: I mean, those are two a little bit separate topics

487
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 2: that at the point we're trying to make here is

488
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: like it really is starting to dawn on us how

489
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 2: unconscious we're moving through our lives sometimes and how much

490
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 2: time we're wasting on things that actually don't matter to us.

491
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: Well, you know, when you think about like the lifetime

492
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 1: of humanity and how new these like phones being in

493
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 1: our hands and having everything touch of a button is,

494
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 1: you know, on that graph, it's such a small amount

495
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,239
Speaker 1: of time. So we really don't know the shift that

496
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: this is going to have in humanity. And you know,

497
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: it feels like we're really connected because we're on Instagram

498
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 1: and Facebook and all the things that you know are

499
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 1: meant or designed to connect us, but we're really isolating ourselves.

500
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: You know. I do think there are lots of benefits

501
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 1: to it, too, Like I can stay in touch with

502
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 1: friends that live in Europe of course because of this device,

503
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: and it makes it a lot easier than mailing a

504
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: letter and hoping it gets there one day. But I

505
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 1: think that the the major takeaway is that it's it's

506
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: a net loss of these things. You know, they might

507
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,719
Speaker 1: make us a little bit more productive, but I think

508
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: they make us more isolated than connected.

509
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: Because I was thinking you said, so much of your

510
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: time is spent texting, and like, even with work stuff,

511
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 2: how often are you actually in a bad mood but

512
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 2: you're texting like you're not? You know, so you're not

513
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 2: actually being true. It's like when you're experience a person

514
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 2: in real life or even on the phone, you can

515
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 2: hear tone of voice, you can hear like you just

516
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 2: read energy better than you can do to like just

517
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 2: a text right totally, So.

518
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: You can push and you can push down your emotions too,

519
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: when you actually probably need to sit in them for

520
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,479
Speaker 1: a minute and feel them and work through them and

521
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: work through whatever it is it's putting you in that mood.

522
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 1: But you have to like be on and getting your

523
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: job done and all the things, or planning your night

524
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: out or whatever it is that you're doing, right, But

525
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 1: you know, to lean into my word of the Year,

526
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: which was explore, Like I am. I need to sit

527
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: down and do some deep digging and figure out what

528
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do to buy myself some more time for

529
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 1: me because these dating apps I like every time I'm

530
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 1: on them, like it's there. I don't find them beneficial, Like,

531
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm doing something. I feel like

532
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: I'm searching for my somebody. But I would probably be

533
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: better off like volunteering somewhere or even out at a bar,

534
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: like forcing myself through the discostctivity, yeah, or doing an activity,

535
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: joining a sports team with some gay gaze, you know,

536
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: like sports ball, just doing something where I'm interacting with

537
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 1: people in a real way versus just putting myself in

538
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: like a window to be shopped, you know.

539
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I used to when I was on apps, I

540
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 2: would set a limit, like I would set the timer

541
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 2: for ten minutes in the morning, and then I would

542
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 2: do ten minutes at night. That's all I would do,

543
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 2: because to me, it is the same thing as social media,

544
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:37,719
Speaker 2: and I was like, I do not I do not

545
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 2: need another thing where I'm just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.

546
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: I also found that the days where I wouldn't do that,

547
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 2: and I would let myself scroll, I would get so

548
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 2: depressed because it would like you, if you're continuing to scroll,

549
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 2: you're obviously not seeing anything you want, and you're looking

550
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 2: for some sort of proof that that someone could be

551
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 2: out there. So it's like depressing if you're not finding it,

552
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: you know.

553
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, I think it's a self

554
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: fulfilling prophecy. It's east most of the time you're not

555
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: finding someone, right, you know, like literally ninety percent of

556
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, not really working for you. And then

557
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 1: you're like, well, fuck, I just wasted two hours. And sure,

558
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: you know, at least like if you're at a bar

559
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: and you don't meet somebody, you probably had fun. You

560
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 1: might have had some good conversations and had a couple

561
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: drinks or whatever. I don't know, I need to change

562
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: some shit up in my life. Is all based on

563
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: these statistics of my phone.

564
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 2: So basically, we are are just inviting you guys to

565
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: go check your screen time like we did, give it

566
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 2: a fascinating experience, and let us know what you come

567
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 2: across too, Like I just want to I think I

568
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: am going to set the timer again for my social

569
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 2: media just so it goes off because I am trying

570
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 2: to be more active on there for work purposes, but

571
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 2: I also don't need to fully scroll all the time,

572
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 2: like I'm just finding myself doing it and it's basically

573
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 2: a waste of time. So yeah, yeah, that's my new thing.

574
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: If you guys do try it and you want to

575
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 2: let us know, you can always email us at the

576
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,479
Speaker 2: Edge at velvestedge dot com, or you can hit us

577
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 2: up on the voicemail send us some voicemails.

578
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: We're ready.

579
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 2: You can find that on my Instagram in the link

580
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: at the bio. It is at Velvet's Edge Chip.

581
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm at Chip door shot CHP d O R S

582
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: C H.

583
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 2: And as you guys are going into the weekend and

584
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: you're living on the edge, I was gonna try to

585
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: be cute, but I stop my phone. If you're living,

586
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 2: hopefully not living on your phone, I hope you always

587
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 2: remember to

588
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: A casual bye bye