1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,520
Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

2
00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:06,440
Speaker 1: She couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children and

3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,840
Speaker 1: the man of the house, and of course she didn't

4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,240
Speaker 1: talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.

5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,640
Speaker 1: She was a good woman who always made good choices.

6
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 2: We're good mom's bad choices.

7
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,520
Speaker 3: Who single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all

8
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,480
Speaker 3: their bad choices and.

9
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,600
Speaker 4: Sound out they were so bad.

10
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,600
Speaker 3: After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

11
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,040
Speaker 4: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

12
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:29,360
Speaker 2: I can do it.

13
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,000
Speaker 4: Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.

14
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,760
Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Nila.

15
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,240
Speaker 4: Happy humpday, bitchous.

16
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,320
Speaker 2: Happy hump day, y'all.

17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:40,520
Speaker 4: How you doing.

18
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,239
Speaker 2: I'm doing pretty good. You look pretty thank you.

19
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,159
Speaker 4: Yeah. Orlando said, you look like young like that, but

20
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 4: you do. I'm not young. You just look you kind

21
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,680
Speaker 4: of look like I guess you kind of like a teenager,

22
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,880
Speaker 4: but like a youthful not like yeah, like beautifully youthful?

23
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 2: Is it like because it's half a pack?

24
00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 4: Is a ponytail situation?

25
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:00,800
Speaker 2: Yeah?

26
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,600
Speaker 3: Is this is this where I'm at in life? Like

27
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,240
Speaker 3: I had their ponytail with youthful.

28
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 4: Well, I'm wearing my hair down because bitch, I put

29
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,119
Speaker 4: my pulled my hair back the other day and I'm

30
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,720
Speaker 4: the grays that have accumulated around my fucking hairline since

31
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,320
Speaker 4: I had took my braids out. I was like, are

32
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,880
Speaker 4: the braids pulling grays out of my head? Like I

33
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,120
Speaker 4: swear to God? And when I put them and I

34
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,679
Speaker 4: did not have this many grays, And when I took

35
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,200
Speaker 4: them out, I had like unearthed more grains.

36
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:26,960
Speaker 2: I don't know if I don't know if braids work

37
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:27,200
Speaker 2: like that.

38
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,639
Speaker 3: I think it's I think that they've been like pulling

39
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,240
Speaker 3: at the root, pulling, pulling the grays out.

40
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,480
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't know exactly.

41
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,479
Speaker 4: About going blonde again, I've been read for like two

42
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,840
Speaker 4: almost two years now, and so that I can blend

43
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,200
Speaker 4: them with the end kind of helps hide the grays.

44
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,679
Speaker 4: But I just took new headshots and my hair's red,

45
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:47,920
Speaker 4: so I.

46
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:48,560
Speaker 2: Can't take more.

47
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,880
Speaker 4: They're expensive. And that's the thing about acting that I remember,

48
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,400
Speaker 4: like not like really hating, was like once you took

49
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,160
Speaker 4: a headshot your age, David your agent being like, well,

50
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,920
Speaker 4: you can't change your hair, Yeah, you have this hairstyle here,

51
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,600
Speaker 4: although I don't know if that's still the same anymore.

52
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,760
Speaker 4: Like I feel like, well, if you wanted this color, bitch,

53
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,760
Speaker 4: change it, like get created. It's because casting directors are

54
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,399
Speaker 4: not creative and they need to see.

55
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,480
Speaker 2: Exactly how you look.

56
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you could always get blonde and get

57
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,680
Speaker 3: new pictures by David.

58
00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,120
Speaker 4: I just get a wig or a wig. Just have

59
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,480
Speaker 4: my red wig on, but have blonde hair underneath.

60
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,000
Speaker 3: You looked at Brittany Runners that rig wig all the time.

61
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,720
Speaker 3: That afro wigs looks like a wig to me. Yeah,

62
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,679
Speaker 3: it's too perfect. You know what confirmed it was wig?

63
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,639
Speaker 3: When she was doing all that back and forth with

64
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,160
Speaker 3: the baby, she had the I have wig braids.

65
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:38,600
Speaker 4: Oh, she had braids on.

66
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 3: They were like just straight backs. That's just probably a wig.

67
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 3: It's a cute wig. Maybe I need to get a

68
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:51,200
Speaker 3: wig for real. I took my hair down because the

69
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 3: fucking brading lady was like two hours late, and me

70
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,600
Speaker 3: and Danielle called ourselves splitting the travel fee. She came

71
00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,679
Speaker 3: like two hours late. I was already tired. I was like,

72
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 3: I only taking out the front. I was only at

73
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,120
Speaker 3: the front, rebraided, and now she decided to go and

74
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,480
Speaker 3: I wasn't gonna go. I was like, fuck it I'm

75
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,679
Speaker 3: gonna take them all my hair. No, you had the

76
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,040
Speaker 3: bob for like three days, no, like one day.

77
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 2: I called her that night. I was like, call me back, bitch,

78
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,440
Speaker 2: what are you doing with your hair?

79
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,079
Speaker 4: Like, what are you trying to get to? What's like

80
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,120
Speaker 4: the goal? I don't know or theneath hair.

81
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,480
Speaker 3: I was just I just we were retreating so back

82
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,639
Speaker 3: to back that I just kept getting braids, and we're

83
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,600
Speaker 3: about to retreat again. So I'm gonna keep it. I'm

84
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,639
Speaker 3: gonna get it professionally done. I'm gonna see how it

85
00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,079
Speaker 3: looks with like a professional press out because I don't

86
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,160
Speaker 3: have those skills at all anymore, and my hair is

87
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,240
Speaker 3: not trained, and then I don't have to.

88
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,760
Speaker 4: Get it like cut like a certain way.

89
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:36,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

90
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,040
Speaker 3: And then also my hair is like half permed, half natural,

91
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,680
Speaker 3: and it's horrible, so I'm probably gonna cut the shit

92
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,840
Speaker 3: off right after BALI. Yeah, I'll just go back to

93
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,600
Speaker 3: having no hair because that's what looks best on me,

94
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,880
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna only I can only rock that for

95
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,760
Speaker 3: so much longer. I think, like the short hair used

96
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,840
Speaker 3: to make me look like more distinct and older, but

97
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 3: now I'm actually older, so I would not have.

98
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,200
Speaker 4: To grow my hair out, so now I need to

99
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,360
Speaker 4: look younger. Yeah, now you need a pony tail. I

100
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,240
Speaker 4: need a pony Yeah. Next you're gonna have a fucking

101
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,120
Speaker 4: scrunchy in your hair.

102
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:04,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

103
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,720
Speaker 3: When I turned forty and I'm wearing only scrunches, You're

104
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 3: gonna know why bows and scrunchies.

105
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,160
Speaker 2: You're gonna know why? How are you? What's been going on?

106
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,560
Speaker 4: I'm good, I'm I'm just actually, I mean, if you're

107
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:23,720
Speaker 4: watching YouTube, I'm wearing my leopard cat something dressed. And

108
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,359
Speaker 4: I had this in my car because I recently had

109
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:32,080
Speaker 4: an audition yesterday. And yeah, I've been like slowly creeping

110
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,520
Speaker 4: my way back into that world of auditioning again, and

111
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,000
Speaker 4: I feel really good about it. Like it was I

112
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,880
Speaker 4: had this audition in person. It's my first in person audition.

113
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 4: And probably I said five years, but now i've been

114
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,359
Speaker 4: thinking about it, it might be like six years. Because

115
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,640
Speaker 4: we've been podcasting for how many years? Seven seven and

116
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,040
Speaker 4: a half going on eight. Yeah, and I think I

117
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,840
Speaker 4: stopped acting like probably.

118
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,800
Speaker 2: Like year one of our of us, maybe year two,

119
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 2: maybe second year, but maybe a lot.

120
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,520
Speaker 3: I feel like at that point too, a lot of

121
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:06,440
Speaker 3: auditions started to be virtual like yeah, like you said

122
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:06,960
Speaker 3: them to them.

123
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,760
Speaker 2: Especially after twenty twenty, there was.

124
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 4: I didn't see I did an audition in twenty twenty.

125
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,320
Speaker 4: I stopped auditing like twenty nineteen.

126
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of yeah, a lot of them are

127
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:16,880
Speaker 2: self tapes.

128
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so like I've been doing self tapes for

129
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,760
Speaker 4: the past few months like here and there, but this

130
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,360
Speaker 4: was my first in person audition, and that shit felt

131
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:24,320
Speaker 4: so different.

132
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,080
Speaker 2: It hits different.

133
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:29,600
Speaker 4: It felt so different, it felt so good. And I've

134
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,480
Speaker 4: been just like easing my way back in because when

135
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,159
Speaker 4: I left acting, I like felt really disheartened. I really

136
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,280
Speaker 4: felt like, maybe this is just not my calling. Maybe,

137
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,160
Speaker 4: like you know, some people you gotta have like real

138
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,040
Speaker 4: conversations between maybe you don't, but like you know some

139
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,640
Speaker 4: people like who are trying to be like rappers and shit,

140
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,280
Speaker 4: You're like, baby, this is ain't good. This is not

141
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,320
Speaker 4: your calling. Baby.

142
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,440
Speaker 2: Never I've never had the heart to tell anybody.

143
00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,680
Speaker 4: You know, because like, who are you to tell someone call?

144
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,680
Speaker 4: I'll do it, right me. But like I think sometimes

145
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,000
Speaker 4: like you have to have these real conversations with yourself, right,

146
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,720
Speaker 4: Like it's maybe it's not about your call, it's like

147
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,360
Speaker 4: are you going to do have the time to invest

148
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 4: in this right now. So that's where I kind of was,

149
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,960
Speaker 4: I guess in twenty nineteen, because I've been acting since

150
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 4: I was as a kid, and I just I've had moments.

151
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,680
Speaker 4: I've had little breaks here and there, but just like

152
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,360
Speaker 4: nothing that I felt was like substantial enough for to

153
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,960
Speaker 4: like keep me going in this direction for another however

154
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,840
Speaker 4: many years I was going to do it, and so

155
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,840
Speaker 4: I was kind of sad. But I think good moms

156
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,720
Speaker 4: like took over our lives and this has been such

157
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 4: a masterclass of like knowing myself and understanding myself, and

158
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,920
Speaker 4: I think that was like the missing piece for me

159
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,400
Speaker 4: as an actor. It was like I really didn't know

160
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,120
Speaker 4: who I was, So there was like this and granted,

161
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,360
Speaker 4: when you're acting, you're playing other people, but there's there's

162
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,760
Speaker 4: still like a knowingness of yourself in order to be

163
00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,800
Speaker 4: able to at least for me. I'm not necessary for

164
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,600
Speaker 4: other actors, but at least for me that I think

165
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,880
Speaker 4: that that was been That's been the missing piece for

166
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,240
Speaker 4: me in my art in that space, and so going

167
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,920
Speaker 4: back into it, it just feels different. Like when I

168
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,160
Speaker 4: went to the audition, I walked in and I could

169
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,159
Speaker 4: hear a girl was auditioning in the room. They were

170
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,640
Speaker 4: giving her notes and I was like, okay, let me

171
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,160
Speaker 4: step outside because I don't even want to hear.

172
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,720
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it contaminate.

173
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,000
Speaker 4: But the way God had like lined up this day

174
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,600
Speaker 4: for me, like I got I was. I got there

175
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,840
Speaker 4: like right on time, but I got a parking spot

176
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,680
Speaker 4: right in front. And it was at CBS Radford, so

177
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,000
Speaker 4: it's like there's like no parking over there. And I

178
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,239
Speaker 4: was like, Okay, we're gonna make this easy for myself.

179
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,080
Speaker 4: It was so fucking hot. I was wearing this dress,

180
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,119
Speaker 4: walking in the most uncomfortable shoes. Look at they fucking whatever.

181
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,400
Speaker 4: They tore up my feet. But when I got in there,

182
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,680
Speaker 4: it was just like it was nice and cool. There

183
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,600
Speaker 4: was someone in there. I walked out, I went to

184
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,640
Speaker 4: the bathroom. When I walked out of the bathroom, like

185
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,240
Speaker 4: she was leaving, I was like, perfect. It felt like

186
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:50,120
Speaker 4: it was just like he's my audition and that's what

187
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 4: I needed. And I went in there and I fucking

188
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:52,760
Speaker 4: killed it.

189
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,680
Speaker 3: I did so I did so well And welcoming you

190
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,960
Speaker 3: back to the space and it feels really really good

191
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,840
Speaker 3: to be in person. We talk to a lot of

192
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,640
Speaker 3: actors they really like the the like the self tape

193
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,480
Speaker 3: element because it just it requires less of your day, right,

194
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 3: Like you're driving across LA to go to a fucking.

195
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,600
Speaker 4: Santa Monica, you know, and.

196
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,440
Speaker 2: It's always at four.

197
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 4: It's always at the worst time. Yeah, like three pm

198
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,320
Speaker 4: when I go to pick up my kid. So granted,

199
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 4: like I know that, I like I'm on a high

200
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,680
Speaker 4: of like in personal auditions. I don't know how long

201
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:29,920
Speaker 4: this high will last, but I just know I appreciated that,

202
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:34,240
Speaker 4: and it made me think about just how many of

203
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,599
Speaker 4: us have these dreams and passions that we start in

204
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 4: our in our youth or like maybe in our early twenties,

205
00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,959
Speaker 4: and then like life hits and you're like, shit, I

206
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,520
Speaker 4: gotta get real. I gotta get or maybe maybe it's

207
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,360
Speaker 4: not even about getting real. It's just like this isn't

208
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,280
Speaker 4: working for me right now. And sometimes it's like it's

209
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,559
Speaker 4: not working for you in that version of yourself or

210
00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:54,360
Speaker 4: in this point in your life, but it doesn't mean

211
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,319
Speaker 4: it can't work. And I think that that's been like

212
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,599
Speaker 4: the message for me in this new chapt is like

213
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,160
Speaker 4: I'm walking into this a total like a different Erica,

214
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,520
Speaker 4: but a different version of myself. I when I was

215
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,600
Speaker 4: acting before, I had put so much pressure on myself

216
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,160
Speaker 4: every time I went in an audition, and like I

217
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,760
Speaker 4: didn't get a call back like it was it was

218
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,440
Speaker 4: started to really fuck with me. And I've been doing

219
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,880
Speaker 4: it for years and it didn't fuck with me for

220
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,400
Speaker 4: a long time, but towards the end, it was like

221
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,480
Speaker 4: this is too much, Like I can't deal with this

222
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,640
Speaker 4: rejection anymore in my life. And now I'm like I'm

223
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,079
Speaker 4: just like like going in and like releasing it, you know.

224
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,360
Speaker 4: And it's like it's like if you just get to play.

225
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,839
Speaker 4: And I started to play, and I think playing in

226
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,640
Speaker 4: person with someone else was like part of the reason

227
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,079
Speaker 4: it felt really good, whereas like when I'm doing like

228
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,280
Speaker 4: self tapes, I am playing with someone but just it's

229
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,360
Speaker 4: just not the same energy.

230
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't feel like the nerves, the nerves, it

231
00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,839
Speaker 3: doesn't feel as like yeah, like the adrenaline is probably

232
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:50,760
Speaker 3: not going as hard.

233
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's like that feeling that I've I just I

234
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:59,880
Speaker 4: remember so so clearly and like I almost forgot how

235
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,120
Speaker 4: all big of a part of this, of this portion

236
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,800
Speaker 4: of my life that acting has taken because I've stepped

237
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,200
Speaker 4: away for the last six years, and but I've been

238
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,319
Speaker 4: acting my whole fucking life and I almost forgot, like

239
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 4: I was like, oh yeah, this, oh yeah, this other

240
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 4: thing that I do. Yeah, and it's like it's feels

241
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,760
Speaker 4: it just feels really good. And it just made me

242
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,319
Speaker 4: think about how many mothers, not even mothers, but I

243
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,880
Speaker 4: would say a lot of moms, how we've we we

244
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,760
Speaker 4: side step our dreams or we put our dreams on hold.

245
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,400
Speaker 4: And granted, sometimes you have to like you have to

246
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,520
Speaker 4: like you know, there's a lot going on, but that

247
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,839
Speaker 4: I don't know this like come back to it, you know,

248
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,880
Speaker 4: come back to it, revisit it, and maybe it is

249
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 4: maybe that is a time in your life that's done.

250
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,120
Speaker 4: But for me, it feels really it feels really good,

251
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,880
Speaker 4: and I feel really supported. And I had so many

252
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,600
Speaker 4: people in my dms like cheering me on, and it's

253
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,120
Speaker 4: like a level of like support that i've that I

254
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,240
Speaker 4: have now because of maybe the platform that I have

255
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,120
Speaker 4: now and also maybe just me sharing vulnerably, like my

256
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,080
Speaker 4: fear around this and like allowing people into my process

257
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 4: as like stepping into this new form of art or

258
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:17,080
Speaker 4: this former it's not new, but yeah new for me. Yeah,

259
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,079
Speaker 4: and being honest about like my fears, being honest about like,

260
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,559
Speaker 4: you know, some days I feel confident in something, you know,

261
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,560
Speaker 4: and like allowing people to support me, you know, whereas

262
00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:27,920
Speaker 4: I think a lot of times we feel like we

263
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,079
Speaker 4: have to like become masters in silence or we can't

264
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,160
Speaker 4: like share the journey of to the win because it

265
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:40,079
Speaker 4: makes us look like we're not masters, you know, like

266
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,440
Speaker 4: we're not already walking.

267
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,800
Speaker 3: In like everybody just shows up an expert about suddenly

268
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,079
Speaker 3: Eric is on a TV show. There's no process to it,

269
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,400
Speaker 3: and like we've normalized that in ways, and so.

270
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,320
Speaker 4: I'm actually enjoying. I think I'm going to share more

271
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,160
Speaker 4: about it, just the journey of it, because it's like

272
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,320
Speaker 4: acting is hard. It is like a being a creator

273
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,360
Speaker 4: in in in general, there's a lot of rejection and

274
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,000
Speaker 4: even Iri like, so did you get it? Did you

275
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,679
Speaker 4: get this show? I'm like, Iri, listen, I'm gonna do

276
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,120
Speaker 4: a lot of auditioning. I'm not going to get things right.

277
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,800
Speaker 4: And like I'm glad that I even get to show

278
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,079
Speaker 4: her that too, because I think it's you know, I

279
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,719
Speaker 4: think as a child, I didn't even understand that. And

280
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 4: I started acting when I was like eight years old,

281
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,160
Speaker 4: so like the rejection part like took pros. Yeah, yeah,

282
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,080
Speaker 4: so it's just.

283
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:20,720
Speaker 2: Like this is fun.

284
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,000
Speaker 3: And then one day you're on set and you're like, oh,

285
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,880
Speaker 3: that's cool, but it's not like it's not like uh,

286
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,880
Speaker 3: you know, like livered. You're not gonna like die without

287
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,600
Speaker 3: it because you're just playing, you know, during the next

288
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,359
Speaker 3: thing the next day. That's interesting to have that observation,

289
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,360
Speaker 3: like doing it as a child and then just to

290
00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,320
Speaker 3: understand how serious we start to take things and how

291
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,000
Speaker 3: taking things so seriously kind of starts.

292
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,880
Speaker 2: To steal the joy.

293
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,160
Speaker 3: Fuck it up, steals the joy away from just knowing

294
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,240
Speaker 3: it like as a child, because I auditioned a lot

295
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,360
Speaker 3: as a child, and like yeah, there's like even thinking

296
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,839
Speaker 3: like the fear I have now of like someone's like

297
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,000
Speaker 3: okay action, I'm like eugh, But like that is it's

298
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,920
Speaker 3: like what is the awareness that we grow into that

299
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,199
Speaker 3: starts to make it like so fair, feel so stressful,

300
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,680
Speaker 3: such so heavy, like so weighted, so heavily on us,

301
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,160
Speaker 3: And then what is this other piece about thinking that

302
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,400
Speaker 3: we have to show up an expert and not like

303
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,560
Speaker 3: the process between it and like dub bitch, Like that's

304
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,120
Speaker 3: the whole.

305
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,480
Speaker 4: I mean, and when you share the process, you actually

306
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,439
Speaker 4: get like literally energetically in the world, so much more

307
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,839
Speaker 4: support to like to actually propel you to where you

308
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,600
Speaker 4: want to be. You know, That's what I was feeling,

309
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,400
Speaker 4: like when people were like messaging me like, oh my god,

310
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,360
Speaker 4: that's so great, I was like, wow, thank you, thank you,

311
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 4: Like yes, yes, actually I need this, especially in the

312
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,959
Speaker 4: beginning of my process. Now it's kind of like makes

313
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 4: me think of like when we when I first started dating,

314
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,800
Speaker 4: and you know, I joined Tinder, where I needed the

315
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,280
Speaker 4: validation a little bit, like it's it's less about validation

316
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:44,440
Speaker 4: and more more so.

317
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,959
Speaker 2: Based firm like oh okay, like it's okay to talk

318
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,520
Speaker 2: about this. It's okay. Someone says, oh I really needed

319
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,880
Speaker 2: to hear that, or whatever the fuck. It's true.

320
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,560
Speaker 3: I think we underestimate the community piece and like how

321
00:13:55,679 --> 00:14:01,079
Speaker 3: much like encourage, like how much it drives you. And yeah,

322
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,479
Speaker 3: that's a good I'm happy that you like put that perspective,

323
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,040
Speaker 3: because that is I think it is important to revisit

324
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:11,000
Speaker 3: things as like with a new eyes and just removing

325
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,520
Speaker 3: a lot of the pressure because we do live in

326
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,959
Speaker 3: a society that aid tells you that you can't master

327
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:16,760
Speaker 3: more than one thing.

328
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,840
Speaker 2: It's like, well, if you do this, if you podcast,

329
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 2: you podcasts, it's.

330
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,280
Speaker 3: Like, which I had a whole lot, Like there's so

331
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,160
Speaker 3: much other there's so many other parts of me and

332
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 3: as a podcaster and as an author and now as

333
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 3: these other things. It's like, of course if it contribute

334
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,680
Speaker 3: to other creative outlets, because I'm a creative in all

335
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 3: the ways, like as a vessel. So it's nice to

336
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,400
Speaker 3: see you like take that perspective and then like remind

337
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 3: me even you know, and even I re see it.

338
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,200
Speaker 3: The SA We're in the car, me and Luna and

339
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,480
Speaker 3: we're listening to the radio. I think we're listening to

340
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 3: like Big Boy or something, and I was like, I

341
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 3: think I want to be in the radio, and Linda

342
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,240
Speaker 3: is like, I think I want to be an actress,

343
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 3: but I know that's not gonna happen. I said, speak

344
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,760
Speaker 3: for yourself, baby, because everything I say I want, I get.

345
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 3: And I was like, you really have to be aware

346
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 3: of like if you want to be an actress, if

347
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 3: you want to be an actor, say you want to

348
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 3: be an actor. I was like, and then I was like,

349
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,760
Speaker 3: I'm an actor, and then she was like repeating after

350
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,520
Speaker 3: me like, oh no. I was like, I'm going to

351
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 3: be an actor and she's like, I'm going to be

352
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,120
Speaker 3: an actor. I was like, no, say I am an actor,

353
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,200
Speaker 3: Like I am an actor, and I was like I

354
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,920
Speaker 3: just started saying all these things that I wanted to,

355
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,560
Speaker 3: like that I wanted to be as if they were

356
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,640
Speaker 3: already existing. And I was talking to her and I

357
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,960
Speaker 3: was like, when I was little, I used to like

358
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,120
Speaker 3: accept awards, and like, I feel like a lot of

359
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,160
Speaker 3: that contributed to like where I'm at. I was like,

360
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,720
Speaker 3: I wanted to be a writer and I didn't know

361
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,280
Speaker 3: how the fuck that was gonna happen, but I'm a

362
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 3: writer now.

363
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 2: I was like, you really have to be careful.

364
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 3: And I was telling her like envisioning, embodying, and I

365
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,200
Speaker 3: was like, and using your imagination to feel how it feels.

366
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 3: And I was like, things are scary, but you have

367
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,640
Speaker 3: to always know that you're capable. And I was just

368
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 3: like talking to her, and you know a lot of

369
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 3: times she's like, Okay, wait, shut up, but I'm like,

370
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 3: even if you get like one percent of what I'm getting,

371
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,440
Speaker 3: you know, and even just sharing that with her, I

372
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 3: don't even know what the fuck made me say that

373
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,600
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to be the radio. I

374
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,920
Speaker 3: think She's like, I want to do this. I was

375
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,920
Speaker 3: like you, well you can, and I was like, we

376
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,280
Speaker 3: got to get away. You got to get over this

377
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 3: fear and you got to just say fuck the fear

378
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,640
Speaker 3: and push past it. But it's nice to be in

379
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,520
Speaker 3: the position to a be able to revisit things, have

380
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,680
Speaker 3: a community to support you, and then also be and

381
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 3: it's doing something, not from the beginning, but starting over

382
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 3: with something and having our child, your child bear witness

383
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,160
Speaker 3: because it kind of reminds you of like where you

384
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 3: were as a child and how you didn't you didn't

385
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 3: take on those l's or you didn't even think of

386
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 3: them as l's. You're just doing something to do it

387
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 3: and it's fun and your mom does your hair and

388
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,760
Speaker 3: you show up and you go in there and like

389
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,000
Speaker 3: you know, as adults, we lose that because things get

390
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 3: too serious. And it's the same as like even relationships,

391
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 3: things get too serious to think about bills and Nicholas.

392
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 3: You are not doing shit, You're not doing this, and

393
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,160
Speaker 3: it's like we always I think the biggest, the coolest

394
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 3: blessing about having a kid is it kind of pulls

395
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,320
Speaker 3: you to always come back to that childlike version of

396
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 3: yourself and to sit in like what is the difference

397
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 3: between now and then?

398
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,560
Speaker 2: Oh, bitch, I'm a stress a bucket full of stress now,

399
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 2: and it's like, fuck all that.

400
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 4: When I got back from my audition, of course, was like,

401
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 4: so did you shoot it? I was like, no, babe,

402
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 4: it was an audition and she's like, oh, those are

403
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,840
Speaker 4: sides and I was like, yeah, so can we read them?

404
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,879
Speaker 4: And so like we we're reading them and in one

405
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 4: of the size it says something like something about like

406
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,159
Speaker 4: bitches and it was her line, and she was like

407
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,840
Speaker 4: she tried to skip over it, and I was like,

408
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,639
Speaker 4: why didn't you say it? She said, and she was

409
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 4: like and I was like, okay, but I can tell

410
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 4: like she was like really into it. She wanted to

411
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,520
Speaker 4: keep doing it over and over again, and I am.

412
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 4: I am grateful that I can share that with her,

413
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 4: that like, yeah, I'm not going to win every time.

414
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna like get every part. That's just not

415
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,240
Speaker 4: the process. And her can and she can see how

416
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,440
Speaker 4: resilient I am when it doesn't go my way and

417
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 4: that I keep going even still. And actually this particular

418
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 4: line of work really shows you that because it is

419
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 4: a constant release of like going in and doing the work,

420
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 4: prep preparing, preparing as if you've gotten the role, and

421
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,879
Speaker 4: then releasing it and then you never get to do

422
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,920
Speaker 4: it and you like you have to like move on

423
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 4: from it. But thinking about the community and having the

424
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 4: community or like I've always had community, it's just I

425
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 4: haven't always asked for the support in that way. I mean,

426
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 4: obviously Instagram has made it much different. And also like

427
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,679
Speaker 4: thinking about but even like I shared it in our

428
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 4: group text with our tribe, like I shared it with

429
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 4: my friends because a I was excited to share share

430
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 4: it and then when I got positive feedback, it made

431
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,520
Speaker 4: me feel good, you know. And so I was thinking

432
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 4: also like we have this in our Discord channel, shout

433
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 4: out to our tribe on Discord, we have a channel

434
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 4: called girl Guess What. And I was thinking about that

435
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 4: yesterday and I was like, this is like girl Guess What,

436
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,159
Speaker 4: Like this is why these channels are important, because we

437
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 4: share in our girl Guess What channel, like, Hey, bitch,

438
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,879
Speaker 4: guess what I just did today, and everyone says, oh

439
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,439
Speaker 4: my god, that's amazing, Like you need people, even if

440
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,200
Speaker 4: it's strangers on the internet. Or strangers on the discord

441
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 4: that are like future sisters to hype you up, especially

442
00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,360
Speaker 4: when you're, like I guess, entering into a new news space. Yeah,

443
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 4: I mean whether not even just a new space. Sometimes

444
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 4: you need it just in life in general. But it

445
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 4: really helps, and it's helping me stay ignited because I know,

446
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 4: like that there'll be moments in this journey where I'm like,

447
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 4: you know, I'll feel defeated, like I really wanted to

448
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,919
Speaker 4: roll and I didn't get it, or like I'm tired

449
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 4: and I don't feel like going on a fucking audition

450
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 4: because I've just got back from working recording three episodes

451
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,000
Speaker 4: or whatever, mommy all day, whatever the fuck. But it's

452
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 4: like those it's those moments that I'm like trying to

453
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 4: stay presentent so that I can come back to that

454
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 4: feeling that I felt when I left that audition, that

455
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 4: first audition after six years, and remind myself why it

456
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 4: is I'm doing it, because I think that's where I

457
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,720
Speaker 4: lost sight of. That's what I lost sight of in

458
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 4: my journey into the space and my journey out of it.

459
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 4: When I started podcasting, it was like I was not

460
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:48,879
Speaker 4: I didn't know why I was doing it.

461
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 2: Anymore.

462
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 4: I was like, am I just doing it because like

463
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 4: I've just been doing this for so long, Like, No,

464
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 4: I'm doing it because I love storytelling, I love like

465
00:19:58,119 --> 00:19:59,920
Speaker 4: the art of it, I love the production of it.

466
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 4: I want to direct one day. I will direct one day.

467
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 4: And yeah, it feels good to kind of to be

468
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,359
Speaker 4: able to do that. So if you're listening to this

469
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 4: and you have like a career or something that maybe

470
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 4: you've put on the back burner that's like still keeps

471
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 4: you up at night that you still think about or

472
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 4: you steel like, damn, what if I what if I

473
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,640
Speaker 4: could have fucking go explore that shit, like for real,

474
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,879
Speaker 4: like go explore. It doesn't have to be like balls

475
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 4: to the wall, quit your job, you're gonna go, but

476
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 4: like just go revisit it and see if it feels different,

477
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 4: because nine times out of ten, like you've evolved and

478
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 4: like you're going to show up in that space different

479
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 4: than you did ten years ago.

480
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 3: And it's it's true, Like I think that there's such

481
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 3: a there's such this this non spoken, like weird thing,

482
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: especially with the inner, that that there's no process and

483
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 3: that you have to be perfect and then you have

484
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 3: to just like know everything and be an expert and

485
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 3: when you show up, it has to be exceptionally perfect,

486
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 3: and it's like it's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous concept. And

487
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 3: even like you know, I can relate, it's on a

488
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 3: very like minor level. But you know, like I finished

489
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 3: school two years ago and like in sexology and this

490
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 3: TANTRUC practitioner and I've taken clients privately and like one

491
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 3: on one, but I haven't felt like I've like fully

492
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 3: stepped into it, and like I don't know what I've

493
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 3: been like afraid of. And like I was thinking the

494
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 3: other day and I was like just thinking about all

495
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 3: the all the things that have led me to where

496
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 3: I'm at, just in general, like hospitality and now I

497
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 3: do retreats and like just a people person I've always

498
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 3: been and like that I've always wanted to write and

499
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 3: I wrote a book. And I was thinking, like in

500
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 3: high school I took just because I took it. I

501
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 3: took a sexual behavior class at Valley College in eleventh grade.

502
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 3: Why who the fuck knows, like a two and a

503
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 3: half hour class like once a week. But I was like,

504
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 3: because I've always loved this shit, I've always loved human sex, sexuality.

505
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 3: I've always been intrigued by like psychology and like you know,

506
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 3: storytelling and all these things. And it's like we grow

507
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 3: get older and we think that there has to be

508
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 3: this like huge title or this huge big break, or

509
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 3: there has to be this thing that like makes you

510
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 3: acceptable by the masses as the as the master of

511
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,159
Speaker 3: But it's like, what about the fact that like just intuitively,

512
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 3: these are things that you fuck with and enjoy and

513
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 3: like and that's generally how you get like the big

514
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 3: break when you're just doing the art for the fuck

515
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 3: of it. Like Eric and I are sitting here because

516
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,680
Speaker 3: not because we were like we're gonna be the best

517
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 3: motherfucking podcast podcasters in the business.

518
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 2: We were just like, yeah, this is fun. This is fun. Oh,

519
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: this is this is new.

520
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 3: Oh I could take pictures, so this is fun, you know,

521
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 3: and like the curiosity and like the the the energy

522
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 3: of something new, and like the collaboration obviously and the friendship.

523
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 2: But just like I was doing, like asked the sexologists.

524
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 3: On my stories and people are like, oh, thank you

525
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 3: so much for asking me questions and just participating. And

526
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 3: I'm not really someone who likes to talk to camera,

527
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 3: but I was like, oh, maybe this is it, because

528
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 3: then I have I have a.

529
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: I have a.

530
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 3: Like a huh a prompt. I have thinks I have

531
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 3: a prompt and it makes it easier to talk, you know,

532
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 3: and just talk about it. And I was just like,

533
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 3: it's something very small, but it made me feel good

534
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 3: and so I understand and like and.

535
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 2: I was just like wondering, like what has stopped me?

536
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 3: I got the piece of fucking paper, It's printed out,

537
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 3: it's framed.

538
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 2: Like I didn't never need the piece of paper.

539
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously to know certain things whatever, But this

540
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 3: idea in this mainstream society that we need a piece of.

541
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 2: Paper, or we need the big break, or we need

542
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 2: to be on six.

543
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 3: Seasons of sex and the city to be recognizable and

544
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 3: to like show up and like in all of our essence,

545
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,679
Speaker 3: Like you've been an actress, you know what I mean.

546
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 3: And it's just like I do resonate with that, especially

547
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 3: as a mom, because a lot of our our focus

548
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 3: goes to others, to our kids, to our marriages, to

549
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 3: our need to make money, and not so much just

550
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 3: to the art of existing in the presence and the

551
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 3: art of creating and like supporting yourself in the community.

552
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 3: So I'm fairly happy for you that you that you

553
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 3: jumped back in and that you just did it and

554
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 3: that it felt really good and like that you're committing

555
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 3: to do that again and like, yeah, I'm I'm excited

556
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 3: for just the blossoming and the growth and like what

557
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,879
Speaker 3: that does. I think like when you water other parts

558
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 3: of your artistry, like it it automatically waters other parts

559
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 3: of your life because you're watering yourself and you're going

560
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 3: to be creative in more than one way because you're

561
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 3: being creative in one space.

562
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 4: You know, Yeah, thank you, And it does feel good.

563
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 4: And I'm I'm going to share more of the process,

564
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,719
Speaker 4: so make sure you you know, you just keep affirming

565
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 4: a bitch over here, you know, little more affirmations on

566
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 4: the journey. And also being an actor is and and

567
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 4: a creator in general is it can be a very

568
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 4: lonely and also like it's hard to not judge yourself,

569
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 4: you know, because you're always kind of it's being evaluated

570
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 4: and being evaluated in some way. And so I want

571
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 4: to encourage everyone listening to like, if you need people

572
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 4: in your life to hype you up, like let us

573
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,719
Speaker 4: hype you up. Join our discord there's a whole community

574
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 4: of people there that I'm utilizing. Well, I'm utilizing on

575
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 4: this next journey of you know, starting something new in

576
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:06,880
Speaker 4: this way.

577
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 2: I think people have a hard time saying I need

578
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 2: to be hyped up. Yeah, hey, can you support me?

579
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 2: I'm feeling scared. That is not something that we've been like,

580
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 2: uh like uh massage.

581
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 4: No. No, We're not supposed to do that. We're supposed

582
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 4: to be modest. We're supposed to be humble.

583
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 2: We're supposed to just like move in silence.

584
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, like and not talk about the thing until it's

585
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 4: arrived because it's bad luck or it's untasteful or whatever.

586
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 2: The people are gonna not think I'm good.

587
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 4: At it all that you're about to hear this journey

588
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 4: and when I fucking make it on the big screen, bitch,

589
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 4: I'm having a fucking viewing. Fucking screening. Okay, we're celebrating.

590
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: I'm in a view of I'm viewing of all your

591
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 2: of all your stories up till that point.

592
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 4: Maybe that too.

593
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 5: Okay, cut the real GB, Cut the real GB.

594
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: We need.

595
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 4: It was gonna be an hour.

596
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 2: You remember when I started in the bathroom, I told

597
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 2: you bitches you were gonna see. Oh you don't let

598
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 2: me play it for you because I haven't hear mydica.

599
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: Now I'm accepting my Emmy always knew it.

600
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, So anyway, I speaking of getting a job.

601
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 2: Oh, I was just gonna say, speaking of sticking to

602
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 2: your passions and your passion projects and the things that

603
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 2: you love and your hobbies and your arts.

604
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 4: Yeah. Did you see Tabitha's recent reel that everyone is

605
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 4: up in arms about pissed? Well, you showed it to Okay,

606
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 4: I showed it to you. What are your thoughts? Basically? Actually,

607
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 4: let's play the clip here.

608
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 6: Hello, dear, real quick that this is not to discourage you,

609
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 6: because I want us to be clear about it first. Okay,

610
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 6: you kind of been in this place for a long time. Okay,

611
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 6: now listen, you got good ideas, baby, you got good ideas.

612
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: Your execution is not as good.

613
00:26:55,160 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 4: Okay, You're followed through not as good.

614
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 6: The ideas, though, are great.

615
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: Entrepreneurship.

616
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 4: It it's not for everybody, and that doesn't mean.

617
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: It's not for you.

618
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 6: But but right now, these last few months, few years,

619
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 6: you know what I'm talking about. Maybe it ain't it

620
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 6: ain't been working for you, Okay, And and you're doing

621
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 6: a lot of robbing Peter to pay Paul. Okay, you

622
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 6: you done got yourself in some mess, and it's time

623
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 6: for you to get a a job. Can you hear me?

624
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 6: You You just gonna need to get a job for

625
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 6: a little while, okay. D It don't mean your ideas

626
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 6: ain't good. Okay, don't mean that maybe one day you

627
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 6: could be a good entrepreneur. But you have proven to

628
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 6: yourself and everybody else that you owe money to. Okay,

629
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 6: that it ain't working right now. Okay, it ain't. It

630
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 6: ain't work for a while. It actually has never worked yet.

631
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 6: Doesn't mean it won't ever work. But right now you

632
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 6: need to go to work, and you're gonna need to

633
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 6: get a job, okay, and then keep working towards it,

634
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 6: but at least you will have a job while you

635
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 6: are pursuing that thing. But right now you need to

636
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 6: get a job, baby, all right, that's it.

637
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: I love you. They're going to watch your business. Okay.

638
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 4: Have to have a good night tomorrow, have a good day.

639
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: But even if you can't have a.

640
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 6: Good one, don't today'll go messing up.

641
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:30,239
Speaker 4: Nobody else is here.

642
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 6: Don't be mad at me.

643
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 4: Okay, So the bitches are mad.

644
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 3: I feel I'm gonna say, how oft this is right?

645
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 3: I mean, the two things can exist at one time,

646
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 3: too right.

647
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 4: I think it's the messenger that people get mad about.

648
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 2: You know, she's made it and she's rich. Well, it

649
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 2: doesn't mean the.

650
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 4: Message is wrong at all. It's just like people take

651
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 4: issue with the messenger and often can't hear the message

652
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 4: because of the messenger. I think that I don't think

653
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 4: that she's not the right messenger. I'm just saying I

654
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 4: think that that's where the issue lies for a lot

655
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 4: of people that are up in arms about her saying this.

656
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 3: I think that a hit dog will holler and if

657
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 3: some that And I'm not saying stop and abandon your dreams,

658
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 3: but I'm saying people, I know I've said that we've

659
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 3: been delusional and it's worked for us in our life.

660
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 3: But I think people are delusional in the sense that

661
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 3: people will suck, like will jeopardize their livelihood for a dream,

662
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 3: and sometimes it works, and sometimes you end up homeless.

663
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 2: And you can't a part of the story. And that's

664
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 2: part of your story, and that could be part of

665
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 2: your story. If you're a lone, single wolf alone in

666
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: the world, and you don't have any cubs to care

667
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: for sure. If that's your story, you've you fucking couchsurfed

668
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: for years and then you made it. Congratulations. I don't

669
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: believe in.

670
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 3: CouchSurfing for years over a certain age, I don't believe.

671
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 3: I'm not saying like I think that some people sometimes

672
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 3: pursue their side hustles to a point where it's it

673
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 3: sacrifices there I don't know, stability, their mental stability. It

674
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: actually sacrifices the dream. Most dreams require some sort of investment.

675
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: So you know, like if you're a rapper and you

676
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 3: want to be a rapper, you gotta have money for

677
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 3: the studio. You gotta have money for the for the video.

678
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 3: You gotta know if you want the video to look good,

679
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 3: you gotta have a.

680
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,479
Speaker 2: Fucking main hustle to supplement and support the side hustle.

681
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 2: So I just think, like I think it actually is

682
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: is more.

683
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: It gives more to the side hustle or to the

684
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 3: passion project if you have the means to not be

685
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 3: worrying about food and shelter and how you're going to

686
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 3: feed this main hustle. And I don't think a lot

687
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 3: of people want to hear that, because.

688
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: Even on the retreats, I feel like people get the

689
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: holy ghost of spirit and they abandon they jump ship.

690
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 2: I've seen women be like, I'm in year four medical school.

691
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 2: I'm quitting. Fuck it happened to her, by the way,

692
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 2: I need to figure out where did she open up

693
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 2: that dance school and she quit medical school? And I'm

694
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: pretty sure it worked. I don't know.

695
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 3: I believed her, but and sometimes it works, and only

696
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 3: you know how how how how deep the fire is burning.

697
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 3: But I do believe in Like, it's really hard to

698
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 3: focus on a passion project if you are fucking about

699
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 3: to be evicted and starving.

700
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think I think that also, and

701
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 2: I know because I've been there.

702
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 4: I think that also, like sometimes you have to quit

703
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 4: the job, go through entrepreneurship or whatever, do the passion

704
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 4: project fail, maybe even go homeless to then realize, like

705
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 4: the lesson of okay, let me recalibrate, I maybe need

706
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 4: to do both. I can do both, or like or

707
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 4: figuring out what that looks like. I think that's something.

708
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 4: I think that also, as I'm sitting here thinking about

709
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 4: why women are so mad about this, because there's a

710
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 4: lot of facts is also it's just a sensitive time

711
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,719
Speaker 4: because facts, because there's the fact of the matter is faxes.

712
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 2: There's a lot of faxes.

713
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 4: I had to say that there's a lot of faxes

714
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 4: because there's a lot of people that have lost their job,

715
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 4: Like it's not so easy to just go get a

716
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 4: nine to five, especially in this climate where three hundred

717
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 4: and fifty thousand black women are out of work.

718
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 2: Exactly, That's what I'm saying.

719
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 3: I'm saying, if you're just setting like if you're sending

720
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 3: in your resignation letter from a good job right now,

721
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 3: rethink that.

722
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 7: Well.

723
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 4: I think that she was more speaking to the people

724
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 4: that are have been living off of their dream and

725
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 4: the dream is no longer working and instead of realizing

726
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 4: and jesting and shifting to the time that hey, maybe

727
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 4: I need to go back to that job, they are

728
00:32:56,560 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 4: scheming and scamming and borrowing money, not paying people back

729
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 4: and putting their families in jeopardy and putting themselves in jeopardy.

730
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 4: And I think those things can be true, But I

731
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 4: also know that the climate of finding work is also

732
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 4: it's easier said than done.

733
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, this worker is not easy to come by

734
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 3: right now. People have been looking for jobs for over

735
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 3: a year, Like it's not we're not in a place.

736
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 2: AI is taking over, you.

737
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 4: Guys, And that's what I'm saying, Like even the jobs

738
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 4: that maybe you might go back to to go get

739
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 4: your nine to five have changed, like that position no

740
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 4: longer exists anymore because AI has taken over. So her

741
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 4: comment is mirroring people's fears. And also, like I said,

742
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 4: the messenger of her Tabitha, who is super successful, is

743
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 4: on home shopping Network on the post right before selling

744
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 4: her products, you know, living in the life of her.

745
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: But that was not always that. She didn't start there

746
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 2: she was driving uber of course not.

747
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 4: But I'm just saying, these are the These are the

748
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 4: triggers that people have for the messenger that's being said.

749
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 4: It's kind of like person when Kim Kardashian was like, bitch,

750
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 4: you need to work harder.

751
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 2: That's a two different. That's two different. That's totally different.

752
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 3: Though we've seen she's talked really transparent and I don't

753
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 3: even I'm not even a huge tab at the fan,

754
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 3: Like I don't know.

755
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,439
Speaker 4: She's shared. She has shared her journey, which is also

756
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 4: part of like what we were talking about before, Like

757
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 4: we have seen her audience has watched her struggle and

758
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 4: her growth all the way.

759
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 2: Why why it's probably even more triggering.

760
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like it's it's triggering, but it's

761
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 3: also like I saw you go get it, Like I

762
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 3: can't really be mad at that messenger because you've actually

763
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 3: probably experienced hardship. It'd be Kim Kay, you were sucking

764
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 3: Very Jay's dick, and your mom made that shit work,

765
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 3: and here you are now you have a fucking BOLLI.

766
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 4: Her baseline was privileged, like her daughter. Her dad was

767
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 4: a lawyer, like you know.

768
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 2: She Paris Hilton's assistant.

769
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: You know, so it's not relatable, Like I don't want

770
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 3: to hear that shit, like I think I was watching.

771
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 2: I was thinking I was.

772
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 3: I was listening to a podcast about the founder of

773
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 3: Glossier and she's like, oh, I got an internship at

774
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 3: Vogue because my neighbor got it for me.

775
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,320
Speaker 2: And then I asked, can I do my own column?

776
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 2: And like, turn your shit off. I don't hear his

777
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 2: fucking white bitch talk about how she had an internship

778
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: at Velu and then it spawned into Glassier. Like to me,

779
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: it's not relatable. I don't want to hear that shit, like,

780
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 2: it doesn't sound like you've strapped up your boots. Bitch,

781
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: you were already in a privileged position and then you

782
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: got more privilege. Oh, magic manifestation and not this thing.

783
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 2: She hasn't worked really hard.

784
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 3: But I'm saying most people don't even get to the

785
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 3: internship at fucking Vogue because you don't live two doors

786
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 3: down from the they get vote right, because your daddy

787
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 3: doesn't know his homeboy or whatever the fuck. And so

788
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 3: it's like we're starting at two different starting points. But

789
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 3: I think that there has to be yes delusion, but

790
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 3: there has to be reality. You have to And this

791
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 3: is coming from a bitch who daily tries to escape

792
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 3: the three D world, as in right now, I'm trying

793
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:52,959
Speaker 3: to avoid all things.

794
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 2: But the reality is the reality.

795
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,959
Speaker 3: Bills have to get paid, your stomach needs to be fed,

796
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,439
Speaker 3: like your kidney to be fed. Things have to still

797
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 3: on a day to d basis be taken care of.

798
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 2: And it's not fun.

799
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: I've been there, and it's not fun to be worrying

800
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 3: about that shit. So get your ducks in a row

801
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 3: and then pursue and pour into the other shit and like,

802
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 3: do both. And I know it's hard and it's easier

803
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 3: said than done. But like abandoning ship on all your

804
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 3: fucking responsibility.

805
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 2: Ain't it so? Tabitha? You go ahead, You keep telling

806
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 2: these bitches okay, because it's true.

807
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 4: In breaking heart news, Baddy Winkle has passed.

808
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 2: Let's take this moment of silence for Baddie.

809
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 4: I feel like we did to smoke a joint for Batty.

810
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 4: Do we have weed for Baddy Winkle?

811
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: What's in that thing? It says two grams of something.

812
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 4: This is like we gotta smoke in bad Yeah, yeah,

813
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 4: this is for Baddie.

814
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: Is a big fat If you're home right now, and

815
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 2: if you don't know who Baddy Winkle is, open up

816
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 2: your Instagram. She's the baddest bitch of the elderlies. She's been.

817
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: She is a geriatric barad bitch.

818
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 4: And she's a geriatric bad bitch, and she's.

819
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 2: Been a jeriacic bad bitch for some years. She was

820
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 2: born in nineteen twenty nine, twenty eight, So how old

821
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 2: is that? Somebody do the math? I mean in nineteen

822
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 2: twenty eight. Oh my gosh, she's a cancer. It makes

823
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 2: so much sense.

824
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 4: How old is she?

825
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: Ninety eight?

826
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 4: Wow? You know?

827
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 2: I because she was being a bad bitch.

828
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 3: She lived that long, and with technology and weed, I'm

829
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 3: going to live at least to one hundred and eleven.

830
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 4: Okay, well, let's take a moment to bless this joint

831
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 4: for Baddie Winkle and all the elderly bad bitches, but

832
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 4: specifically Baddie Winkle, who.

833
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 3: Like really set the precedent for geriatric bad bitches and

834
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 3: for us to just always be bad bitches no matter

835
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: how old you are.

836
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:51,720
Speaker 4: Yes, may we always remember how bad, how good, how sexy,

837
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,240
Speaker 4: how you can dress like a little hoochie at any age,

838
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 4: and you could smoke weed at any age, and you

839
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 4: could still party with the young'ins at any age, and.

840
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: You could maybe even become a seventy eight year old influencer.

841
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, you could be a.

842
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 3: Late late late in life TikTok star on the rise,

843
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 3: and Batty Winkle showed us all that there's no side

844
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 3: project that doesn't matter.

845
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 2: I don't know who her great great granddaughter was, but

846
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 2: they really put her on.

847
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 4: They put her the fuck on. So bless their family,

848
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 4: Bless Batty Winkle. We love you.

849
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 3: Rest in power, Rest and power. Batty like that shit up,

850
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 3: but for real, I do want to be. I do

851
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 3: want to live into my elderly bad bitch years. I

852
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,360
Speaker 3: want to be a geriatric bad bitch. You are, and

853
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 3: so it is, and so it is right.

854
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,240
Speaker 2: I want to really be at least one hundred and eleven.

855
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 4: So the old the one thing that you have to do,

856
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 4: or that we have to do, if we're going to

857
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 4: be geriatric bad bitches, we got to take care of

858
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,320
Speaker 4: our bodies so that we're not in pain, so that

859
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 4: we can still like throw we can. We don't throw

860
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 4: a hip out trying to be a bad periatric bitch.

861
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 2: I have literally almost thrown a hip out just fucking

862
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: for like extended amount of time, more stretching. I know

863
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 2: it's crazy.

864
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 3: So now I haven't been in the gym lately, and

865
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 3: I feel really good about it. I'm not gonna lie.

866
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 3: I feel stronger, and my butt I feel like it's

867
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 3: getting bigger.

868
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 2: Good. I'm gonna show you when this is over so

869
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 2: you can affirm that my butt is getting bigger.

870
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 4: Why don't you show us right now?

871
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: Okay, I was gonna take my pants down.

872
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh you can pull the panther on okay, oh

873
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 3: oh oh oh, what color is my thonge let's see purple,

874
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: like purple lavender.

875
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 4: Okay, let's see the butt turn the butt.

876
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 5: Oh oh.

877
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 2: A little big, Yeah, I see it.

878
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 4: I see it. Wow, look at that wagon. It's gorgeous.

879
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: I see it if you guys, don't you? But I

880
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck you're doing and surging my

881
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 2: eight week my two week workout plan. My butt is huge, huge,

882
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 2: looks great.

883
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 4: I think you're on your way to being a geriatric,

884
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 4: bad bitch.

885
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 2: Not too soon, okay, I'm just saying like you're on

886
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: the path.

887
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 3: Okay, first fifty years. Fifty years is what age is like?

888
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 3: The geriatric come in.

889
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 4: Oh right now, they're calling us geriatric pregnancies. We're already geriatric.

890
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 4: I rebuke that in the name according to medical.

891
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 3: No, but I really have thought, like Tama, if I

892
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 3: want to keep going hard in the paint like this,

893
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,720
Speaker 3: I have to go hard in the like the workout.

894
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 3: So I know soning and I'm going to take vitamins

895
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 3: and seamas. And I always say this like every other

896
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: week because the government's trying to kill us. But I'm

897
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 3: really tapping in now. Yeah, so I won't be a

898
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:54,479
Speaker 3: geriatric dead bitch.

899
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. No, I've I've been taking my tinctures every morning.

900
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 4: If you follow me on Instagram at watch Erica, come

901
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 4: take your vitamins with me in the morning, because it's

902
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 4: the only reason or way that I can remember to

903
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 4: do it is if the Internet holds me accountable. And

904
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 4: I think that I was having this conversation with my

905
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 4: friend yesterday because my high school reunion is coming up

906
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 4: and I'm missing it. I'm not even gonna go. Why

907
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:16,839
Speaker 4: because I'm gonna be in New York.

908
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: You're really looking forward to it. You really had big plans,

909
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 2: I know, but I like money show those bitches spas.

910
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 4: I told them to FaceTime me when they get there.

911
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 4: It's not the FaceTime FaceTime me at the reunion. But

912
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,399
Speaker 4: I was talking to my friend who went to high

913
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 4: school with because she just went to Vegas. We used

914
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 4: to go to Vegas every birthday, like from like age

915
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 4: sixteen to maybe like twenty five or something. I went

916
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 4: to Vegas with her for her birthday and it was

917
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 4: always like debaucherous and then like you know, life happened,

918
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 4: babies happen, marriage happened. Anyway, she was like, I want

919
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 4: to go again. So she went this year and I

920
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 4: told her I was like, we had just got back

921
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 4: from the retreat, like, girl.

922
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:01,879
Speaker 2: I remember, so did she have a great time?

923
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 4: She was like, it's not. She's like it's not the same.

924
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 4: What I did learn though, was that the day parties

925
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 4: are still the best thing. Really, Yes, the night is

926
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 4: where the night's not where it's at. It's the day party,

927
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 4: pool party. And I was like I always knew that,

928
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 4: like even then. But she also said that it's just

929
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 4: like it's just like as she's gotten older, she realized,

930
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 4: like the spontaneity, it's harder for her to be as

931
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 4: spontaneous because like she has, she doesn't the plan.

932
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 2: Like if if I take shots in the day, I can't.

933
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 2: We're not going on.

934
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 4: It's not even that, it's like where are we going tonight?

935
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 4: Like I don't want to meet a guide the casino

936
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 4: who's going to guide us to the club and we're

937
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 4: gonna figure it out from there?

938
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 2: Like no, right, we're gonna stand in line?

939
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,399
Speaker 4: Hell no, Like no, I want to know where we're going.

940
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 2: Do we have a table?

941
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 3: Who's the you know, you kind of have to be

942
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 3: fluzy enough to meet the guy with the table at

943
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 3: the casino.

944
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 4: But she said the one big takeaway was that she

945
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,959
Speaker 4: needed to dress up more. That like she's been knee

946
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 4: deep in motherhood for like the past. She has two

947
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 4: kids and they're like both under like six or something.

948
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 4: And she's like, I've just haven't been myself. I haven't

949
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,800
Speaker 4: been dressing up. I haven't been putting the dress on,

950
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 4: putting makeup on. Like it's just that's my lesson. And

951
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 4: she's like, and I realized that I need to work out,

952
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 4: and that like this body is not the body, not

953
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 4: like you want to have the same body, but that

954
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 4: this is a time in our life that kind of

955
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 4: like can make or break how we look in the future.

956
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 3: I read that at thirty six, like this in your

957
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 3: body starts keeping the score for real.

958
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 4: Right, So, like those usual tricks that you used to do,

959
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 4: starving yourself for a week and then you have an

960
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 4: ab that shit doesn't exist anymore. There's no muscle underneath

961
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 4: their babe, there's no muscle that's lifting that ass up anymore.

962
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 4: So you like, stopping to drinking soda for one week

963
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 4: isn't going to make you have a fat ass anymore.

964
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 4: You actually have to do weightlifting.

965
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 2: It's so crazy you said that. I was literally like

966
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 2: put like doing leg presses in the gym, and I

967
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 2: was like, you know, I looked like this for a

968
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: long time. And I was like I danced in senior year,

969
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 2: Like how long does memory memory muscle? Like what does

970
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 2: a mess muscle memory work? I was like, this is

971
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 2: probably my last.

972
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 3: Year, Like I really have to keep going because my

973
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 3: twelfth grade muscle memory is not going to serve me

974
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 3: at age thirty seven.

975
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

976
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,400
Speaker 3: So yeah, I was thinking that about like my abs

977
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 3: and like the little bit of muscle like definition I

978
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 3: have in my legs. I was literally like the last

979
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 3: time I like consistently worked out was all throughout high

980
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 3: school as like a dancer, and I had like a

981
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 3: fucking Nazi ass dance teacher.

982
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, I was like, I have to develop this discipline.

983
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 3: Or else I'm gonna lose it and I'm gonna be

984
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: like a skinny, flabby girl and I don't want that.

985
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, So this is a crucial time. This is a

986
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 4: crucial time if you're listening Buckle.

987
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 2: Up, Sugar Cup, Buckle up, Sugar Cup.

988
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 4: Due chapter bitches, if you are around the age of

989
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 4: thirty five to forty, get it together.

990
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:57,800
Speaker 2: Now the time we are getting together.

991
00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 4: This is the year.

992
00:44:59,160 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 5: This is it.

993
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 4: We're already at the end of the year, so this

994
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 4: is We're going to start early with our year's resolutions.

995
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 4: We're starting now in September.

996
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 2: So by January it'll be like I'm already in it.

997
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 4: I'm already in it. Like you don't have to get ready,

998
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 4: You're already a stressed out You're in it. We're like, actually, yes,

999
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 4: let's talk about these resolutions now. Think about your resolutions now.

1000
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 2: It's pre resolution time, pre resolution.

1001
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 4: Yes, I think that actually that needs to be a

1002
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 4: serious thing.

1003
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 3: Pre resolution, because then you won't put so much pressure

1004
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 3: on yourself New Year's and then you'll be like already, like.

1005
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 2: This is it. This is the time.

1006
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 4: You're already embodying the thing that you are calling.

1007
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 1: In So.

1008
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 3: And also, my vanity just won't allow me to look

1009
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 3: my age like I have to always I don't care

1010
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 3: where I'm at in the world, how I am.

1011
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 2: The young bitch is always like, oh my god, really

1012
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: you're all right, You're like, yeah, I united, bitch.

1013
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,800
Speaker 4: This guy asked for my ID the other day and

1014
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,439
Speaker 4: I was like, thank you for that, and I was like, God,

1015
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 4: I've reached the apra I'm thinking.

1016
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:02,320
Speaker 2: We got it.

1017
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 4: I remember being around I remember being around other women

1018
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 4: that would.

1019
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 3: Do that, like my mom, like thank you. We gotta

1020
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 3: stop doing that. That's gonna age es too. Just more

1021
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:15,280
Speaker 3: things we gotta stop doing. Happy happy birthday. No acting

1022
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 3: shocks when people are like, oh my god, you're like

1023
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 3: I almost look at them like, well, your your your.

1024
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 4: Use your trans age anyway. So it's fine.

1025
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 3: But if someone said, my I d I'm gonna have

1026
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 3: to get if. If I'm going to get an age

1027
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 3: change with today's technology and a certain amount of money,

1028
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get it.

1029
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 2: On my breath, i can't breathe. Yeah, you're here.

1030
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 3: Here first guys, Oh my god, Jamel and Matt and

1031
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 3: I'm getting an age change.

1032
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

1033
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not gonna tell anybody except you everybody on

1034
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 3: the internet who heard.

1035
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 2: But after that, no way speak of it.

1036
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 4: We'll delete this episode. Delete it, like Bobby, Wait, did

1037
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:04,280
Speaker 4: you see Bobby and Drake's new entry into podcasting. Apparently

1038
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:05,879
Speaker 4: he deleted the episode that they did.

1039
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 2: How does he have the power with her?

1040
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 4: I don't know they deleted it, but anyway, I'm getting

1041
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 4: off topic, but it made me think of we could

1042
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 4: just delete, just delete it.

1043
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 2: Oh, just like our wholeness. Remember Drea said delete, we

1044
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 2: delete that episode.

1045
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 4: It didn't exist.

1046
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 2: We never said it. My people were back. No, it

1047
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 2: was deleted.

1048
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 3: When people started saying something I don't remember or that

1049
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not going to recall them, and to

1050
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 3: say control A delete, control out delete, control delete, it

1051
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 3: was like start malfunctioning.

1052
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:33,720
Speaker 2: Control delete.

1053
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 4: Oh no, that was deleted off my record.

1054
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 2: Control out delete, that was deleted. Asked me something right now?

1055
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 4: I asked you, if I was born in the year

1056
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 4: I was born, were you born in nineteen eighty eight?

1057
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 2: Control out delete?

1058
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm trying to think like what I would think

1059
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 4: if you said that. I guess it's like confusing enough

1060
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 4: for me to be like, let's move on. We're moving on.

1061
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 4: Let's subject Is she robot?

1062
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 2: Is she human? I don't know? Control al delete?

1063
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 5: Wow?

1064
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, control all delete? Is that the name of this episode?

1065
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 3: Maybe yesterday when I did ask a sexologist on my stories,

1066
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 3: somebody said, like, do we do are we counting people

1067
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 3: that we had sex with? Like if it's just intercourse

1068
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 3: or like what about like deep intimate like connections?

1069
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 2: And I said, you're counting whoever you want. It's up

1070
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 2: to you.

1071
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 3: If you don't want those niggas to count, control delete honestly,

1072
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: like if you were a condom, that's already control a delete.

1073
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 3: But just in general, if you want to delete, let

1074
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 3: me tell you from someone meet. I delete shit from

1075
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 3: my mind. I tell these two motherfuckers right here never

1076
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 3: speak of it again. And if you talk to me

1077
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 3: like it exists, IM gonna look at you crazy as hell.

1078
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 2: And you've seen me do it. You've seen me do it.

1079
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 2: I will control all delete some shit, and you.

1080
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 3: Can't do niggas, bitches, whole years of your life control

1081
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 3: out delete I I nobody can tell you what happened.

1082
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 3: Your body can know the fuck it can control. Delete

1083
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 3: it from my memory. Don't remember shit, but you're living

1084
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 3: a memory all by yourself. Don't know what you're talking about.

1085
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 3: Don't resonate, don't identify.

1086
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 4: I don't don't. I don't know her who her?

1087
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 2: Who? That wasn't me.

1088
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 4: That's another Jamila, literally another treat.

1089
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 2: Treat your past selves like bitches. You don't know because

1090
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 2: I'm a different bitch now.

1091
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that we should give ourselves the

1092
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 3: grace to do that, because sometimes you have to create

1093
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 3: new neuropaths in your brain in order to even really

1094
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 3: believe it, or else you're just lying to You're just lying.

1095
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 2: You don't believe. It is an idiomar basically controlled delete,

1096
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:41,239
Speaker 2: like remember it and then you delete it.

1097
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 4: You reprogram it. Yeah, so like's not deletion. It's more

1098
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 4: of a different outcome.

1099
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 2: This is actually a new version of DMR. It's my

1100
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 2: I disbirth it right now.

1101
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 3: It's called control delete there and if you come in

1102
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,720
Speaker 3: my d MS, I can lead you through it, control

1103
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 3: all delete and we can just reprogram the whole It

1104
00:49:58,560 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 3: could just be gone.

1105
00:49:59,400 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 4: We can.

1106
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 2: You can reprogram your whole life.

1107
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 4: I mean, you are a licensed hypnotherapist.

1108
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: I know I'm not.

1109
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 4: So she's going to control all delete.

1110
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 2: Anything that you want out of your life. Just call me.

1111
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 3: If you're digmatized right now, you need to hypnotize that

1112
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 3: nigga out your life.

1113
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 2: Get undigmatized. Call me my miss cleo.

1114
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 4: I'm not joking that that would be very powerful, because

1115
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,800
Speaker 4: when it bitch is digmatized, it's like almost worse than heroin.

1116
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 7: It is.

1117
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 2: It's dick cessation.

1118
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 3: You need to be hypnotized to remove it from your

1119
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 3: subconscious and then your body will respond. It's your mind

1120
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 3: that's sucking up right now, and I can help you

1121
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 3: with that. Look, I got a whole new nigga. I

1122
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 3: controlled all deleted a lot of dicks out of my life.

1123
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 4: Once.

1124
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 2: It had me fucking crazy, worse than fentanyl.

1125
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 4: I saw it.

1126
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,320
Speaker 2: I was there, I was actually crazy like a crackhead.

1127
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 2: And now control Delete I like this, this is a commercial.

1128
00:50:56,239 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 3: We're obviously very high. Now I'm convinced control delete. I'm sold. Okay,

1129
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 3: So if you if you experienced DMR, there's another, a

1130
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 3: whole new level new ship you didn't even know about yet.

1131
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 2: I've been using it in my whole life. Actually, now

1132
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,439
Speaker 2: I'm realizing and it's worked just great.

1133
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, perfect. Maybe I need to I need some

1134
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 4: I definitely need some control all delete. I feel like

1135
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 4: I've controlled all delete, but then it always comes back

1136
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,720
Speaker 4: to haunt me. So I haven't fully deleted it. Perhaps

1137
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 4: you got it like a delete it. This is control

1138
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 4: a delete somatic edition. Yeah, get it out of your body. Then,

1139
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 4: so those first there's the first level one of control delete,

1140
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 4: and that's the mind, and then we master the body and.

1141
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:49,359
Speaker 3: Then it's gone, not even in the cloud nowhere. Oh

1142
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 3: my god, are you gonna pull the tarot time?

1143
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 4: Oh? Sure?

1144
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 2: Unless you have any bad choices this week?

1145
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 4: Do I have any bad choices this week?

1146
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:04,439
Speaker 5: Bad mom?

1147
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 2: Not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

1148
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 4: So good.

1149
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 3: I'm I don't think I have any bad choices. I

1150
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 3: had some challenging moments.

1151
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:21,959
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1152
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 4: I had a moment where like it was just like

1153
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 4: there was a lot going on and like Iri, it

1154
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 4: was like with sha Keem and Iri and Irin like

1155
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 4: threw something at Shakeem's face and he's like been in

1156
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 4: pain and so he was like, ah, it was like

1157
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 4: he like cowered in pain. And I was like, oh

1158
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 4: my god. And then she was like and then she

1159
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 4: started crying. She was like felt bad. But then like

1160
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 4: it was like this whole thing that happened, and I

1161
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 4: was just like don't. I was like, don't you start crying?

1162
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:51,959
Speaker 4: Like why the fuck are you crying?

1163
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 2: Like you hurt him?

1164
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 4: And then I was like, oh my god, because she

1165
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 4: feels bad. But then also like now he has to

1166
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 4: take care of her anyway. I got I was overwhelmed,

1167
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 4: and I was just like yelled at her and then

1168
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 4: I was like are you okay? And then she went upstairs,

1169
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 4: and I was like, what the fuck do I do

1170
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 4: in this situation? Like what is motherhood? What is like girlfriendhood?

1171
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 4: What is the right thing? Yeah, and so I had

1172
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 4: to go upstairs and talk to her, and it was

1173
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 4: it was fun. It was actually an opportunity that I

1174
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 4: felt like there was growth and understanding. But in that moment,

1175
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 4: I was just.

1176
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 3: Like, this is too many people to manage. Fuck, it

1177
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 3: makes me feel like the manager and there's so many people.

1178
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,479
Speaker 4: The bad choice was like do I need a girl?

1179
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 4: Do I need to be a girlfriend and a mom?

1180
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 4: Like why do I do any of these things? I

1181
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 4: could have just been Erica and where I am.

1182
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 3: It's been me and that's it, and not brought no

1183
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 3: other problems in the masterhood myself, that's a mother. Instead,

1184
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:49,800
Speaker 3: I've brought other elements in here that now I have

1185
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 3: to master and work on and do the work.

1186
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 4: Why got it?

1187
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 2: Like why God? Why do we off for these lifestyles?

1188
00:53:57,719 --> 00:53:59,919
Speaker 4: So that wasn't that's my bad choice of the week

1189
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 4: was I guess those negative thoughts. I was like, I

1190
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 4: don't know, I don't want to do none of this

1191
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 4: ship yeah forever and then but then I got past

1192
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 4: it and it was great. It was like and I

1193
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 4: was happy that I got well, happy I got to

1194
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 4: talk to him. I like have that opportunity with her,

1195
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 4: and it was fine, and it was what we're gonna say.

1196
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 2: Also, you don't have to be like the manager. Sometimes

1197
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 2: I just let some hash it up.

1198
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and sometimes like yeah, when it's

1199
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 3: been two d she was talking ship.

1200
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 2: To Orlando, he like got in her ass. I was like, you, like,

1201
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 2: you're acting crazy, Like what the fuck?

1202
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 3: So yeah, and you know, I also went to back

1203
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,920
Speaker 3: to school night high and I didn't like take into

1204
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 3: account for it. And then she started talking about sixth

1205
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,439
Speaker 3: grade and then I just start crying and to school

1206
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 3: night because I was high, and I was like, I'm prepared.

1207
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 3: I was like, why is she talking about this? And

1208
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, because she's gonna graduate.

1209
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 4: And I was like.

1210
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 2: Trying to hold it together, and I'm like I should

1211
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 2: never have gotten high before this.

1212
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 4: Did you actually cry? See you cry? No?

1213
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 2: I was like trying to hold it in. And I

1214
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 2: was like she was talking to like a group of parents.

1215
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 2: So I was just hoping that like one tier didn't

1216
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 2: come streaming down my eye.

1217
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 4: Wow, Wow, that hasn't happened. Yet I know it's coming though.

1218
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 2: Fuck it was.

1219
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,960
Speaker 3: I was like, I was almost offended that this bitch

1220
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 3: brought it up without like precursor, Like I know we're

1221
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 3: at the parent teacher fucking back to school night, but bitch, stop,

1222
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:37,399
Speaker 3: slow down.

1223
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:39,399
Speaker 2: This is the day one. Why are we talking about

1224
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,840
Speaker 2: junior high? You need warm bitches. You say this is

1225
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 2: a junior high meeting.

1226
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,359
Speaker 4: Yeah that's true. You know, like send a junior high

1227
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 4: subject to.

1228
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 3: My inbox, so I'm prepared to talk about junior high things.

1229
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like, what, why are we talk about the

1230
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 2: end of the year. It's motherfucking September.

1231
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 4: We just got out of summer. What are you talking?

1232
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:56,879
Speaker 2: I think you're talking about homework and things. Now I'm

1233
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: crying because you're a bitch. She was a bit. She

1234
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 2: was a very nice woman, but you know what I mean.

1235
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 4: You know you're caught off guard.

1236
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 5: Fair pick a card? Bit, it's reverse though, did you

1237
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 5: did you shuffle it?

1238
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 1: Guess?

1239
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 4: So I just pulled the same card we pulled last week?

1240
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 4: Or is this first week? Oh wow, it's just a

1241
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 4: reoccurring card I keep pulling, but it's upside down, so

1242
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:42,800
Speaker 4: it's gonna have a different meaning.

1243
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 2: Which is the tower, and the tower looks like shit

1244
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 2: is shit is going down there. It looks hectic, it

1245
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:54,319
Speaker 2: looks but.

1246
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 4: If it's upside down, it actually looks like they're rejoicing.

1247
00:56:58,239 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 2: Okay.

1248
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 3: The tower or reverse suggests that you are undergoing a

1249
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 3: significant personal transformation and upheaval.

1250
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,760
Speaker 2: This differs from the experience.

1251
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 3: Of the tower upright, where the change is often because

1252
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 3: of external circumstances and may even feel forced upon you. Instead,

1253
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,959
Speaker 3: with the tower reverse, you're instigating the change and calling

1254
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 3: into question your fundamental belief systems, values, purpose, and meaning.

1255
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:24,880
Speaker 3: You may go through a spiritual awakening as you discover

1256
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 3: a new spiritual path. You may change your beliefs and

1257
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 3: opinions about important topics, realizing that you can no longer

1258
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 3: support older models, or, in more dramatic cases, you may

1259
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 3: go through an existential crisis where you seriously question your

1260
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 3: life's purpose. While this can be an unsettling time, trust

1261
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,479
Speaker 3: in the process and know it is for the best.

1262
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 3: You're creating change and transformation so you can step into

1263
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 3: a new and evolved version of yourself. It also can

1264
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 3: be a sign that you are resisting change in delaying

1265
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 3: the necessary destruction and upheaval. You may be in denial

1266
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 3: that change is occurring, or you may be clinging to

1267
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 3: an old belief system even though you know that they

1268
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 3: are no longer relevant or healthy for you. As much

1269
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 3: as you don't want to, you need to go through

1270
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 3: this difficult time to learn a valuable lesson and make

1271
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 3: progress in your life. And know that you continue to

1272
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 3: resist this and know if you continue to resist this change,

1273
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 3: it will only force its way into your life even more.

1274
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 3: The growth and transformation that the Tower brings is inevitable.

1275
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 2: Beautiful, beautiful.

1276
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, God, I hear you Tower twice. I let

1277
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 4: me be more clear. Let me make it clear.

1278
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,120
Speaker 3: I know we rarely read them upside down too, but

1279
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:45,040
Speaker 3: that was actually very clear. Yeah, change is a coming.

1280
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 3: That was my download I got doing our psilocybin in

1281
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 3: Costa Rica too, which shit is changing every second, every breath,

1282
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 3: every moment. Everybody's growing, So do what you want with that.

1283
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 3: Thank you guys for listening. Hi, I'm high to rest

1284
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 3: in peace, Battywinkle rest and peace baby. Subscribe and like

1285
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 3: this episode and comment and communicate with us, because we

1286
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 3: are communicating all the time and we don't know what

1287
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:16,920
Speaker 3: the fuck you're thinking. So it'd be nice to know

1288
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 3: what's going on over there and go see us on YouTube.

1289
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 3: I showed my butt this episode very important information. Follow

1290
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 3: us on socials at Good Mom Underscore, Bad Good Mom's Underscore,

1291
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 3: Bad Choices, the Good Vibe Retreat ww dot Good Momsbadchoices

1292
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 3: dot com. You can find me at Mila Underscore map.

1293
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:42,200
Speaker 3: If you have any asked us sexologist questions, I'll be asked.

1294
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 3: I'll be answering questions on hump Day.

1295
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 2: Oh I like that.

1296
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 4: It makes sense. And you can follow me at watch

1297
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 4: Erica and make sure you follow our discord so we

1298
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 4: can hype you up. Make sure you go to patreon

1299
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,640
Speaker 4: dot com slash Good Mom's Bad Choices.

1300
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 2: Is that what it is?

1301
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, Petreon dot com slash Mom's Bad Choices and join

1302
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 4: our discord community. We have an amazing community of women

1303
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 4: and men over there, and these different channels that women

1304
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 4: are and men are connecting in and one of them

1305
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 4: we hype you up. So let's type each other up

1306
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 4: and be brave and you will.

1307
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: Love you.

1308
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1309
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 4: I'm living so good.

1310
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 2: Can't you tell?

1311
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 7: I went through a drought that's until I found a

1312
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 7: well madem have been known earth. I used to be

1313
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 7: broken tail now got the Blues DC like Beyonce Jisell

1314
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 7: throat shots with popping his cow. We're in our voices.

1315
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 7: Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploits. Women put

1316
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 7: the PI and powers, so what's pointless?

1317
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:43,960
Speaker 2: They want me to be good, So I made bad choices.

1318
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 7: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

1319
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:48,919
Speaker 2: Gitter's in on. Put cannabis in their bath.

1320
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,520
Speaker 7: Bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat.

1321
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:52,480
Speaker 6: Boss tied dog.

1322
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 4: Now I'm immune to.

1323
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:56,080
Speaker 7: The cat called Herbie and no waisted straight to it

1324
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 7: like a dollar sign.

1325
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 1: Mother Wen the number went to it.

1326
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 7: It's like a water sum where you in the winter

1327
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 7: resential will when the summertime. I do what all ain't

1328
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 7: no one that needs to run it by