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Speaker 1: Well, guys, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.

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Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot

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Speaker 1: com and just click submit Strawberry Letter and we could

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Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air, just like

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Speaker 1: we're going to read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, buggle up and hold on tight. We got it

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Speaker 2: for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject. I don't think we're really cousins.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. In high school, I liked a girl

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Speaker 1: and she liked me. We talked on the phone and

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Speaker 1: hung out together all the time, and her mom and

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Speaker 1: my mom were close too, so she always was at

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Speaker 1: my house or I was at hers. By the time

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Speaker 1: we graduated from high school, we were even closer, and

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Speaker 1: I told her that I wanted her to be more

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Speaker 1: than my friend. She's always been really close to her

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Speaker 1: mom and tells her everything, so she told her mom

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Speaker 1: that she and I were dating. Her mom told her

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Speaker 1: that I was her cousin. When she told me we

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Speaker 1: were related, I felt strange because we had kissed a

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Speaker 1: few times, we never questioned it. Though we stopped dating

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Speaker 1: and remained very close cousins, we still did everything together

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Speaker 1: and told each other everything, and by the time we

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Speaker 1: were in our mid twenties, we had both had a

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Speaker 1: bunch of bad relationships and always ended up back together.

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Speaker 1: I realized that I loved my quote unquote cousin and

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Speaker 1: she's a perfect woman for me. So I finally asked

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Speaker 1: my mom if we were really related. My mom said,

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Speaker 1: we're related somewhere down the line, but there is no

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Speaker 1: way for us to find out now because all of

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Speaker 1: the older relatives are deceased. I told my mom that

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Speaker 1: I'm in love with her and I want to be

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Speaker 1: with her. My mom told me to follow my heart.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't wait to tell my cousin how I really felt,

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Speaker 1: and I was relieved when she told me she's been

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Speaker 1: in love with me forever. Since then, we've made love

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Speaker 1: a few times, and I asked her to marry me.

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Speaker 1: She wants to do a search of our family tree first.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we're cousins and this is only postponing

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Speaker 1: our happiness. Should we search for answers or not? Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm with you on this one. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: just don't believe your guys are cousins. I don't believe.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe you know, her mom told her that

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Speaker 1: because she didn't want you guys dating for whatever reason.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I don't want you guys, not because

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Speaker 1: I don't want it to be true or anything. I

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Speaker 1: just don't believe your mom. Both of them are telling

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Speaker 1: the truth. Even your mom said you were related somewhere

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Speaker 1: down the line, she didn't even know, and she said

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Speaker 1: there's no one in your family to validate it. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, there are ways you can search to find out.

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Speaker 1: It's just, I don't know, suspicious the way they handled

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Speaker 1: everything and the way they told you, And for that

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Speaker 1: very reason, Yes, I think you should find out if

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Speaker 1: you're related. I think you should do the search. I mean,

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Speaker 1: knowledgeous power. The truth will set you're free. What if

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Speaker 1: you want to have children down the line, you know

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Speaker 1: this is something you should know, whether or not you're related.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot to consider. You need a fact so

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Speaker 1: you can make an informed, a clear headed, right decision,

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Speaker 1: and nothing just based on your emotions. Like your mom

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Speaker 1: told you, just to follow your heart. It sounds like

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Speaker 1: you don't care though, if your cousins are not, and

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Speaker 1: your mom certainly doesn't care, but your girl wants to

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Speaker 1: know and it's important to her. So I think you

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Speaker 1: should do the search, and you know, whatever you guys

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Speaker 1: find out, let the chips fall, you know where they may.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you're really cousins. I don't know, and

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Speaker 1: if you find out that you're not, then you can

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Speaker 1: move forward.

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Speaker 3: Steve, Well, this is a short response for me because

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Speaker 3: I don't even understand. There's no advice to give in

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Speaker 3: this letter, like you don't normally have sections. Why I

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Speaker 3: break down what somebody said and what the other person said.

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Speaker 2: Is none of that in here?

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Speaker 1: And he just wants to know should they search? That's

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Speaker 1: his question.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, It ain't about that to me.

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Speaker 3: If your mother if the woman that she's really close to,

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Speaker 3: and y'all been over each other's house, if that ain't

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Speaker 3: your mother's sister, and that woman that's not the sister

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Speaker 3: this girl that you're dating, and okay, let me put it.

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Speaker 3: The woman and your mama are not sisters, and then

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Speaker 3: her daughter is the woman you love.

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Speaker 2: That ain't your cousin. So now that's.

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Speaker 3: Established right there. Now, this y'all cousin somewhere down the line.

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Speaker 3: Black people know what's happening. How far you get, lad

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Speaker 3: if all of them is dead, Black people know what's

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Speaker 3: happening now. What didn't happen is one of the men

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Speaker 3: in the family and strayed off somewhere, had a child.

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Speaker 3: Lot of wed locke and one of your aunts or

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Speaker 3: mama's is them now?

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Speaker 2: Everybody dead? Stuff? Y'all got bibles, Open up them with

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Speaker 2: old bibles and.

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Speaker 1: Read who who?

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Speaker 3: You ain't gonna see your name in there now once

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Speaker 3: you don't see your name, Just open and shut case

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Speaker 3: they know all the old people dead? Well, hot man,

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Speaker 3: So what are we talking about here?

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Speaker 1: So?

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Speaker 2: I don't really think it's a case of.

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Speaker 3: If you do the search, what you're gonna find, you're

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Speaker 3: not gonna find anything. And already you were in love

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Speaker 3: with the girl. She in love with the girl, I mean,

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Speaker 3: she in love with you. I mean, what if.

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Speaker 1: They want kids? They're too far down the line for

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Speaker 1: that to affect anything you're saying.

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Speaker 3: I think they're way way down the line. Let me

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Speaker 3: tell you something. It was something dangerous. The boy's mother

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Speaker 3: would not have said follow your.

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Speaker 1: Heart, but the other mother was the one that said

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Speaker 1: their cousins. I think she said it because she didn't

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Speaker 1: want them to date.

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Speaker 3: She just said that, well, okay, tell her mama, ask

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Speaker 3: or ask her mama how uh huh. But she didn't

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Speaker 3: even tell how these She can't even tell how these

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Speaker 3: other two is related, the two women.

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Speaker 2: What's their relationship?

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Speaker 1: They're just they're just really close, you know, only.

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Speaker 2: Okay, cousins.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but they did it.

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Speaker 2: You do know they did it right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's in the letter.

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Speaker 2: They said it in the letter.

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Speaker 1: Yes, in the letter. We'll have part two of Steve

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the our subject,

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Speaker 1: I don't think we're really cousins. We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening Hardy Morning Show. All right,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's recap today's interesting Strawberry Letters. Subject

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Speaker 1: I don't think we're really cousins. All right.

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Speaker 3: This guy was in high school. He liked the girl

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Speaker 3: and that she liked him. They talked on the phone,

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Speaker 3: hung out together all the time. Her mom and my

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Speaker 3: mom were close too, so she was always at my house.

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Speaker 3: Never once in this letter does it say her mom

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Speaker 3: and his mom was related. By the time they graduated

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Speaker 3: high school, we were even closer. I told her we

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Speaker 3: want to be more than friends. She's always been really

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Speaker 3: close to her mom and tells everything, so she told

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Speaker 3: her mom she.

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Speaker 2: And I were dating.

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Speaker 3: Her mom told her I was her cousin, but your

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Speaker 3: mama ain't related to the boys, Mama, they're just so

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Speaker 3: now where that comes from. When she told me we

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Speaker 3: were related, I felt strange because I had kissed a

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Speaker 3: few times we never caught. She told we stopped dating

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Speaker 3: and remained close everything together. Then they went through a

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Speaker 3: bunch of bad relationships and always ended up back together.

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Speaker 3: And then he said, I realized I loved my cousin

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Speaker 3: and she's a perfect woman for me. So this dude

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Speaker 3: go and ask his mom if they really related. The

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Speaker 3: mother said, y'all related somewhere down the line, but ain't

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Speaker 3: no way to find out because all the older relatives

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Speaker 3: are dead.

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Speaker 2: You did, well, Okay, when's we talking about this folk?

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Speaker 3: I told my mom that I'm in love with her

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Speaker 3: and I want to be with her. My mom told

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Speaker 3: me to follow my heart. So then he ran and

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Speaker 3: told the girl who is he thinks his cousin how

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Speaker 3: it really felt, and he was relieved when she told

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Speaker 3: me she been in love with me forever. Well then

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Speaker 3: since then they'd have made love a few times and

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Speaker 3: I asked her to marry me. Yeah, she wants to

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Speaker 3: do a search of our family the tree first.

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Speaker 2: Because she don't want to come up and get in bad.

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Speaker 2: You know. Then half these people you think it's dead,

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Speaker 2: gonna show up at the wedding. Well, it ain't this strange.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: I'm Ertrue's least obout all the moon sidey I all have.

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Speaker 2: Old slave names and everything.

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Speaker 3: Frederick, you know, Frederick was your uncle, great great great

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Speaker 3: great uncle, Frederick Frederick Douglas.

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Speaker 2: Boy, you got a Afro just like him. You know,

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Speaker 2: be a guy.

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Speaker 3: So she wants to do a search and to think,

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Speaker 3: and he said, I don't think we cousins, and this

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Speaker 3: is only postponing our happiness. Should we search for answers

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Speaker 3: or not? Okay, let me explain something to you, son.

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Speaker 3: When you get through searching, it ain't gonna change one

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Speaker 3: thing you feel about this girl. Come on, boy, when

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Speaker 3: you get through searching, it ain't gonna used the fact

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Speaker 3: that y'all in love with each other and y'all been together.

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Speaker 3: It ain't gonna erase nothing, no matter what the search say.

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Speaker 3: And if you find out you somewhere way down the line.

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Speaker 3: How far down the line is it?

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Speaker 2: Now? How many people got to die?

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Speaker 1: Steve?

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Speaker 3: Well, all your evidence is dead. Down the line is dead.

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Speaker 3: But your mother and her mother ain't even related. So

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Speaker 3: what are y'all talking about?

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Speaker 1: See? I think her mother didn't want them to date,

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Speaker 1: because immediately when she told him that, they stopped dating.

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Speaker 3: If there's no relation between the two friends, well that

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Speaker 3: could be happening because maybe they just friends and the

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Speaker 3: two kids and other families.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's a possibility. You know. That's

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Speaker 1: why I don't think their cousin. I don't think it

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Speaker 1: will hurt anything to do the search.

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Speaker 3: Because we see the problem with that is we're talking

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Speaker 3: about two mothers.

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Speaker 2: Though. See, once you have mothers involved, it ain't no,

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Speaker 2: you ain't in the family.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm, what you mean?

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Speaker 3: This woman is the mother of the boy all your

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Speaker 3: heart is the mother of the girl. Right, So how

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Speaker 3: are these two kids related?

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Speaker 2: How am I missing something?

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Speaker 1: It could be through? Could it be through mar I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 3: Two women were married to the same brothers or some friends.

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Speaker 2: That could happen.

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Speaker 1: But now, yeah, I don't think there. I just don't

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Speaker 1: think they're related. What was that test you take that?

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Speaker 2: We had that test one time. What is the name?

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Speaker 2: I think ancestry doctor. That's it right there.

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Speaker 1: I just did one. I just did a test. I

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Speaker 1: just did it.

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Speaker 2: I have people do mine for me.

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Speaker 1: So that's what I'm saying. You don't have to have

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Speaker 1: living relatives, you know. So his mom said, everybody's dead

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Speaker 1: to prove whether or not there.

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Speaker 3: I can find stuff on my mother's side, but it

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Speaker 3: goes back to my father and it stops. Oh so

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Speaker 3: if down the line ain't here, you can still find

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Speaker 3: out what's going on.

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Speaker 1: He love it though, Yeah, yeah, she loves him. She

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Speaker 1: wants she's the one that wants to know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you do have to consider you have small children and everything.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: Are you out, Steve? You're done well.

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Speaker 2: I told you I'm doing it.

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Speaker 1: Because you got awfully quiet right there.

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Speaker 2: It was hard to raise anyway, don't have it?

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Speaker 1: Ain't that the truth?

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Speaker 2: You said? Well, yeah, you're gonna have a situation with him.

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Speaker 2: There ain't nothing wrong with him.

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Speaker 1: Yes, all right, listen, guys. You can leave your comments

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Speaker 1: on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening

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Speaker 1: to The Harvey Morning Show.