Speaker 1: How did you know Jay was the one?
Speaker 2: He was?
Speaker 3: I'm Radley d Wlukiah and on my podcast A Really
Speaker 3: Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing
Speaker 3: a space for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability
Speaker 3: and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
Speaker 3: find comfort together.
Speaker 2: Helloa.
Speaker 3: Already today we are going to be doing Q and
Speaker 3: A because Larlay, my social media manager, is sitting here
Speaker 3: and she collected some questions that you all had that
Speaker 3: you wanted to ask me. Some about me, I assume,
Speaker 3: some not about me, I hope, and I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: go back and forth. I don't actually know what the
Speaker 3: questions are, but Lovely Laala over here's going to ask
Speaker 3: me them and I'm going to answer for you all.
Speaker 3: Thank you all so much for sending in your questions,
Speaker 3: so sweet of you. Very excited to do this. Handing
Speaker 3: over to Larlay.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Okay, Rady, what's a mistake that you made
Speaker 1: that ended up teaching you the most?
Speaker 2: She really threw me in the deepen. There a mistake
Speaker 2: that I made.
Speaker 3: Okay. I don't know whether this is the biggest mistake
Speaker 3: that I made, but a mistake that I have made
Speaker 3: throughout my life that I've learned from is constantly believing
Speaker 3: that other people knew better for me than I did,
Speaker 3: and really believing that I didn't have the capability of
Speaker 3: making decisions.
Speaker 2: For myself in my life.
Speaker 3: And that went on from I don't know, from being
Speaker 3: a we little toddler to probably into my late twenties.
Speaker 3: It was something that I really learned from because it
Speaker 3: took away my power, it took away my confidence. It
Speaker 3: made me feel just not great about myself that I
Speaker 3: didn't even know what I should be doing in my
Speaker 3: own life, whether it was personal or professional in anything,
Speaker 3: and so I felt like I just didn't know myself.
Speaker 3: So I'd say that was a mistake that I made
Speaker 3: over and over again, just not trusting in my own
Speaker 3: ability to know who I am and make my own
Speaker 3: life choices.
Speaker 2: So don't do that.
Speaker 3: Just know that you are the best person in the
Speaker 3: best position to make your own decisions for yourself.
Speaker 1: Lovely, do I give feedback for each.
Speaker 2: Raddie?
Speaker 1: How often do you actually cry? Oh?
Speaker 3: My god, how often do I actually cry? Well, Lolly
Speaker 3: was here yesterday with me on a shoot and I
Speaker 3: cried yesterday. So I'd say like a solid if not more,
Speaker 3: but a solid once a week. Like, yeah, definitely a
Speaker 3: solid once a week. Over the weekend, I watched something
Speaker 3: cried watching it. Yesterday I was answering a question, cried
Speaker 3: in that question. So yeah, I'm going to say fair
Speaker 3: to say a solid once a week if not more
Speaker 3: minimum the baseline is once a week and sometimes you
Speaker 3: get a bonus as well.
Speaker 1: How did you know Jay was the one?
Speaker 3: He was calm in a chaotic world? You know, like
Speaker 3: he calmed my nervous system, which I hadn't had before.
Speaker 3: He definitely like soothed it in a very long term way.
Speaker 3: Like it wasn't a oh yeah, he's a peaceful person,
Speaker 3: It was a oh yeah. He makes me feel very
Speaker 3: calm about my own life, supports me in ways that
Speaker 3: I didn't realize I needed. Always made sure that he
Speaker 3: had the opportunity to become my crutch, and he chose
Speaker 3: not to. He chose to help me to find my
Speaker 3: own feet. And I really appreciated that because men love
Speaker 3: to be saviors and he didn't want to be one
Speaker 3: of those. He wanted to be the person that lifted
Speaker 3: me up and gave me my own two little feet
Speaker 3: to walk on, because I was quite lost when we
Speaker 3: end up getting married. So yeah, I think there were
Speaker 3: multiple things. But I also think you don't necessarily even
Speaker 3: know that when you get married. You learn it as
Speaker 3: you go along. And some days I may want to
Speaker 3: punch him in the face, not very often, but sometimes,
Speaker 3: and other times I'm like, oh, yeah, this was a
Speaker 3: really good decision. And so I think it ebbs and
Speaker 3: flows so much, and I'm sure as years go on
Speaker 3: you kind of go through different phases of your relationship.
Speaker 3: But I think the stability, the calming of your nervous system,
Speaker 3: and the support, and also the foundation for us was
Speaker 3: just that our spiritual values were so met and I
Speaker 3: knew that I wanted to be with someone whose main
Speaker 3: priority was loving God and with our relationships loving each
Speaker 3: other through the love of God. That was a big,
Speaker 3: big pull for me. That's something that I knew I
Speaker 3: wanted in my life, and everything else was in addition.
Speaker 2: And so that's that.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.
Speaker 1: How do you handle differences of opinion with your spouse.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm a bit sasy and I like to be
Speaker 3: really stubborn.
Speaker 2: I don't like it.
Speaker 3: I just am really stubborn, and so I struggle with
Speaker 3: that because sometimes I know I'm in the wrong, but
Speaker 3: I still just have to keep fighting my corner. How
Speaker 3: do I handle differences now, I've tried to, even if
Speaker 3: in the moment I get really agitated or I can
Speaker 3: be a bit sassy, within a couple of minutes, I
Speaker 3: try to calm myself and be strategic. Sometimes I need
Speaker 3: space and I need time to think about my response,
Speaker 3: and so I'll take that time. And luckily we're both
Speaker 3: people who don't really like arguing, and so we'll try
Speaker 3: our best to come at this with love rather than
Speaker 3: the desire to be right most of the time, and
Speaker 3: try to come together to have a resolving conversation rather
Speaker 3: than I am right conversation. And usually if we both
Speaker 3: come with that intention, it resolves much faster. I also
Speaker 3: think I'm the type of person and so is he,
Speaker 3: where we just don't hold grudges that much, and so
Speaker 3: even if we're annoyed at something like an hour ago,
Speaker 3: we let go of things really fast. Both of us
Speaker 3: are people with friends and family. We let go of
Speaker 3: things so fast, and I think that's something we've trained
Speaker 3: ourselves to be so that life just doesn't feel so heavy.
Speaker 1: How do you maintain individuality while being in a relationship.
Speaker 2: I find that.
Speaker 3: Question really interesting because I never really felt like I
Speaker 3: lost my individuality in the relationship, and I think it's
Speaker 3: because we both had such different personalities. In so many ways,
Speaker 3: we had different personalities and so we couldn't really become
Speaker 3: the same person or feel like we lost ourselves in
Speaker 3: each other. Oh, I'll tell you a big reason. That
Speaker 3: is because neither of us expected the other person to
Speaker 3: compromise based on what we wanted. And so I'll give
Speaker 3: you a really minor example. I knew that family is
Speaker 3: really important to me, and I wanted to travel back
Speaker 3: and forth from London and LA to spend time in
Speaker 3: my family. Did I expect him to do that all
Speaker 3: the time with me when that wasn't his priority. No.
Speaker 3: Jay has a purpose and a desire of what he
Speaker 3: wants to do in his life, and that may mean
Speaker 3: traveling across the world to speak in different places and
Speaker 3: do things. Does he expect me to go with him? No?
Speaker 3: And so I think the thing I've learned from him
Speaker 3: on how to remain individuals and how to support each
Speaker 3: other is allow the person to do what they love
Speaker 3: doing and that's going to make them a better person.
Speaker 3: As soon as you start trying to control or dictate
Speaker 3: how the other person lives their life, it is just
Speaker 3: asking for failure, just asking for an argument. It's just
Speaker 3: asking for that other person to not do what makes
Speaker 3: them happy, and then the relationship isn't happy. And so
Speaker 3: I think it's supporting each other in where you want,
Speaker 3: what you want to do and trying to allow that
Speaker 3: person to live a life that may be different to
Speaker 3: the way that you want to live it as long
Speaker 3: as it doesn't jeopardize your relationship in any way.
Speaker 1: Moving on to a different type of relationship, how do
Speaker 1: you overcome friendship breakups?
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh this is a hard one for sure. I
Speaker 3: have been through a few friendship breakups myself. How do
Speaker 3: I navigate it at first? You know, when I was younger,
Speaker 3: I used to really take it to heart. I would
Speaker 3: try everything. I would cling on to the threads left
Speaker 3: of that relationship even if there were none left, Even
Speaker 3: though even if they had been burnt completely, I was
Speaker 3: still try and hold on to it. And it just
Speaker 3: made me realize a force friendship a forced relationship, but
Speaker 3: force anything is never a good thing, and sometimes when
Speaker 3: you hold onto things for longer than necessary, it actually
Speaker 3: makes the relationship far worse than just letting it go.
Speaker 3: And I can obviously say that in hindsight, it's harder
Speaker 3: in the moment, but I remember, I'll tell you one
Speaker 3: story that really helped me to see the perspective on that.
Speaker 3: I had a friend that i'd known since I was sixteen,
Speaker 3: at the age of twenty four, so a good eight
Speaker 3: years I think. Yeah, at the age of twenty four,
Speaker 3: we really fell apart. We just were not agreeing on things.
Speaker 3: We had a disagreement, didn't feel like we had much
Speaker 3: left to have a friendship on, so we decided to
Speaker 3: take a break. Well, we thought we were just not
Speaker 3: going to be friends at all, so we decided that
Speaker 3: we just wouldn't talk to each other. Two years later
Speaker 3: or something, something happened in her life, she reached out
Speaker 3: to me again. We end up having a conversation, and
Speaker 3: since then we reconnected and we've been friends again. I've
Speaker 3: had the same thing with friends that I've had breaks
Speaker 3: from for like five years at a time as well.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's okay to let things go, to allow yourselves
Speaker 3: to grow and change in a way that brings you
Speaker 3: back together in a better and different way. And I've
Speaker 3: had examples of that in my life that has made
Speaker 3: me have faith in that. But also, you know, relationships
Speaker 3: are hard enough. Your friendship should be easy. They should
Speaker 3: be the thing that you don't have to put too
Speaker 3: much effort into it.
Speaker 2: It's not difficult, it's not tiring.
Speaker 3: We have enough of that in our relationships that were
Speaker 3: with people that we're family with, Like you have to
Speaker 3: try and make a relationship. You have to try and
Speaker 3: build your relationship with your parents, your sisters, your siblings,
Speaker 3: you're related to them. But your friends are the people
Speaker 3: that you choose, right, and so.
Speaker 2: Why make that difficult?
Speaker 1: Okay, moving on to some career questions. How do you
Speaker 1: organize your day and motivate yourself as a business owner
Speaker 1: or someone who's self employed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I actually became self employed. So I worked
Speaker 3: in a hospital for a while when I lived in London,
Speaker 3: and then I became self employed when I was so
Speaker 3: I'm going to say approximately nine years ago I became employed.
Speaker 3: And our first structure was so difficult. Trying to plan
Speaker 3: my days out was so difficult because time is just there,
Speaker 3: you know, like no one's telling you have to do anything.
Speaker 2: No one's forcing you to.
Speaker 3: You've got no deadlines, no timelines, because I was so
Speaker 3: used to having other people giving me them. And so
Speaker 3: what I learned is the first thing you have to
Speaker 3: do is create a routine and structure in your life.
Speaker 3: And how do you do that, Well, you literally write
Speaker 3: our timetable. We function best when we have routine in
Speaker 3: our life, and so create your personal routine, your professional routine,
Speaker 3: and try and figure out in the day where that
Speaker 3: all fits in. Make sure you have some sort of
Speaker 3: activity in your life that has to be a must
Speaker 3: for a physical body, for your mental body, some sort
Speaker 3: of practice that feeds your soul during the day. And
Speaker 3: then break up your day into First of all, break
Speaker 3: up your goals or the plan that you're trying to
Speaker 3: make into into smaller steps, and then just start fitting
Speaker 3: them into your days, into your weeks, into your months.
Speaker 3: I think planning is really important, but I think doing
Speaker 3: is almost more important. And so I just started, you know,
Speaker 3: I started filming things, I started editing things. Sometimes I
Speaker 3: would do two things in a day, sometimes it would before,
Speaker 3: but I had to start doing things to know how
Speaker 3: much I could even fit into a day. And so
Speaker 3: I would say, obviously, plan, but just start going, Like,
Speaker 3: make sure you don't wait too long to keep planning
Speaker 3: and perfecting before you get going.
Speaker 1: How do you overcome the fear of failure.
Speaker 3: By realizing that failure isn't a negative thing, by realizing
Speaker 3: that failure is not an obscure thing that only some
Speaker 3: people go through. Every single person goes to failure in
Speaker 3: some way.
Speaker 2: In their life.
Speaker 3: And we've been taught to demonize failure like it's something
Speaker 3: negative that happens in our life. But if you believe
Speaker 3: that everything happens in your life for a reason, which
Speaker 3: I strongly started believing in, then you know that there
Speaker 3: is a reason why that happened, whether it is the
Speaker 3: flight that you missed, whether it is the job.
Speaker 2: That you didn't get.
Speaker 3: Think about all the times where things were missed in
Speaker 3: your life and you were so upset about it, but
Speaker 3: it was actually saving you from something or saving you
Speaker 3: for something better.
Speaker 2: And I really believe in that.
Speaker 3: The amount of times I've heard that I missed the flight,
Speaker 3: but something happened on that fly, The amount of times
Speaker 3: that I've not got to somewhere because there was even traffic,
Speaker 3: and I realized that there'd been an accident on the
Speaker 3: way that I was meant to be going all the time,
Speaker 3: that I didn't get the partnerships that I wanted, and
Speaker 3: then I realized something happened with that brand, Like, there's
Speaker 3: so many times where that's happened in my life. And
Speaker 3: even if it feels like a failure, I think you
Speaker 3: have to realize that winds and failures are just part
Speaker 3: of one cycle and it's a totally natural way to
Speaker 3: go through life. We can't just have wins throughout our
Speaker 3: whole life. That's not how it works. And so coming
Speaker 3: to terms with the fact that failure failure is just
Speaker 3: a part of life is so important, and then also
Speaker 3: having a bigger picture and a bigger perspective of Wow,
Speaker 3: I only know what I see in my life. I
Speaker 3: have no idea what the bigger plan is. I have
Speaker 3: no idea what's in store for me, And so believing
Speaker 3: in more than what you just see.
Speaker 1: How do you handle creative blocks or burnout?
Speaker 3: Creative blocks or burnout? How do I deal with that? Oh,
Speaker 3: I've had creative blocks and burner. I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: going through it right now. To be honest, we have
Speaker 3: had a really unexpected year, and we've had to really
Speaker 3: cram lots of things into the year in the time
Speaker 3: that I have had, and sometimes I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 3: feel like I've got nothing left in me. And you
Speaker 3: know what that is a sign of to me, either
Speaker 3: that I need some sort of rest, but even more so,
Speaker 3: it's a sign for me that I need to learn
Speaker 3: and need to reabsorb myself in some sort of study,
Speaker 3: some sort of learning, observing real life, being present in
Speaker 3: the moment. Most of the time, we end up having
Speaker 3: creative block. Creativity is around us at all times, in
Speaker 3: every single moment, in conversations, in our experiences, in nature
Speaker 3: around us. The time that we feel like we have
Speaker 3: a creativity block or like we've got no inspiration is
Speaker 3: when we stop noticing. As soon as you stop noticing
Speaker 3: life around you is when you get bored and when
Speaker 3: you feel like you've got nothing left in you. And
Speaker 3: so there's always something learn. We have unlimited amount of
Speaker 3: things in this world to learn. Whether it's about trees,
Speaker 3: whether it's about I don't know, neuroscience, you know, we've
Speaker 3: got plenty of things that we can learn and be
Speaker 3: inspired by. And so the moment you stop learning is
Speaker 3: the moment you become stagnant and you feel like there's
Speaker 3: nothing left. And also this idea of repetitive things feeling boring,
Speaker 3: But sometimes it's less about the repetition and more about
Speaker 3: the fact that you're not noticing the differences in your day.
Speaker 3: You're only focusing on the things that are the same.
Speaker 3: And so I'd say open your eyes a little wider,
Speaker 3: be a little bit more present, and start to find
Speaker 3: the little things in your day that feel magical that
Speaker 3: didn't before.
Speaker 1: What's the hardest part of your work?
Speaker 2: Hardest part of my work?
Speaker 3: Honestly, sometimes for me I struggle with because a lot
Speaker 3: of my work is online. It's just the fear of judgment,
Speaker 3: which is something that I really work through on a
Speaker 3: daily basis, or at least try to, whether it's a
Speaker 3: physical appearance, whether it's the way people have perceived me,
Speaker 3: whether it's the way people have misunderstood me. Like there's
Speaker 3: so many things that you put yourself into by doing
Speaker 3: the line of work that I do, But I also
Speaker 3: always remind myself that it is just part and parcel
Speaker 3: of it. Like I can't choose to be online and
Speaker 3: not have that as be part of it. It just
Speaker 3: doesn't happen in that way, and so I'd say that's
Speaker 3: a really difficult part. And then also feeling like you're
Speaker 3: being original. I think that's another thing that I find difficult.
Speaker 3: It's you're constantly seeing all these trends, You're constantly seeing
Speaker 3: people produce like all this amazing content. You're like, I
Speaker 3: wish I could do stuff like that, and I wish
Speaker 3: my content looked like that. And everything's always about being
Speaker 3: better and better and better, and so what I'm trying
Speaker 3: to do instead is do less, but do it well.
Speaker 3: And that's something that I've been trying to practice this year,
Speaker 3: but hope to do better next year.
Speaker 1: Moving into more of a self reflection and growth category.
Speaker 1: But off the back of comparing yourself to others, a
Speaker 1: lot of people had a question about do you ever
Speaker 1: compare your journey to others and how do you stop? Do? I?
Speaker 2: Of course I do.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I ever have this desire to be
Speaker 3: like the best of anything. I've never really been that
Speaker 3: type of person where I've been driven to have the
Speaker 3: number one spot for something or like really be the
Speaker 3: best at something. It's never really been my mentality. But
Speaker 3: definitely when it comes to. You know, I've realized it's
Speaker 3: so easy and to appreciate someone's success when it's far
Speaker 3: from yours. Like it's so easy to say, oh, Wow,
Speaker 3: this person who is an incredible dancer. They are so
Speaker 3: incredible and I love the content that they do, and
Speaker 3: it's so easy to feel joy for that person. The
Speaker 3: hardest thing to feel joy about are the people who
Speaker 3: are doing very similar things to yours. And that's when
Speaker 3: you know whether you have ultimate comf and what you
Speaker 3: do or whether you still have some insecurities about it.
Speaker 3: And so I ever and flow through that. Sometimes when
Speaker 3: I feel so rooted in my purpose and I know
Speaker 3: that it's not about those things, and I know that
Speaker 3: it's about how many people I get to help and
Speaker 3: whether I'm having fun and whether I'm happy in the
Speaker 3: work that I'm doing, I feel like I can really
Speaker 3: look past that. But sometimes when I'm not feeling great
Speaker 3: in the things that I'm producing or not good in myself,
Speaker 3: I notice the jealousy and the judgment kind of peers
Speaker 3: piercing through my little bubble that I try to keep
Speaker 3: around me. And so what I've learned to do is
Speaker 3: see my jealousy as signals and signs of things that
Speaker 3: I want in my life, but also of things that
Speaker 3: I want to improve on in my life. And so
Speaker 3: I think it's okay to have feelings of jealousy. I
Speaker 3: think it's a part of our human experience of thinking, Oh,
Speaker 3: I wish I had this in my life, or I
Speaker 3: wish I could do this in my life. But it's
Speaker 3: really how you take that jealousy and what you turn into.
Speaker 3: So either you can turn it into spite and despise
Speaker 3: for that person, which would be unuseful, or you can
Speaker 3: turn into a moment of reflection and noticing that, oh,
Speaker 3: these are the things that I might want in life.
Speaker 2: How can I make that happen.
Speaker 1: Have you dealt with stress eating and or how do
Speaker 1: you release negative energy after a tough day?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Okay, So I my vice in life is definitely food
Speaker 3: and I haven't and people always get surprised at that
Speaker 3: because they're like, oh, you eat so healthy. And the
Speaker 3: thing is, I do beat healthy like nine to nine
Speaker 3: percent of the time. And even if I do end
Speaker 3: up eating things that are not that great, they're still
Speaker 3: on the relative scale of life great. Yes, they are
Speaker 3: still okay for me, but it's not whether they're good
Speaker 3: or bad for me. It's the fact that I feel
Speaker 3: controlled by the food itself, and I actually never have
Speaker 3: done like, I've never drunk alcohol, I've never taken drugs.
Speaker 3: So my thing has always been food. My emotions are
Speaker 3: released through eating happiness. I'm like, let's invite everyone over
Speaker 3: and eat cake and sad.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just want to have a cookie, and.
Speaker 3: Any stress emotion, I'm like, I just need some chocolate,
Speaker 3: I need some sugar, I need some something. And so
Speaker 3: I've really been trying to help my mind be trained
Speaker 3: out of that, but I honestly still really struggle with it.
Speaker 3: I don't think I was thinking about this the other
Speaker 3: day when I was writing the solo episode, because I'd
Speaker 3: looked at myself in the moment and I was like,
Speaker 3: really disappointed in parts of my body, and I was like, God,
Speaker 3: how many years am I going to go through my
Speaker 3: whole life?
Speaker 2: I've gone through.
Speaker 3: Eating consciously, but not in a conscious good way, in
Speaker 3: like a oh, I'm gonna if I eat this, I
Speaker 3: then have to work out like this tomorrow, Or if
Speaker 3: I eat a whole pizza? Is there a bit of
Speaker 3: guilt link to it? I realize that there's even though
Speaker 3: I love food and I appreciate the way that it
Speaker 3: fuels my body, I don't necessarily have the best relationship
Speaker 3: with food. And I thought that the way my relationship
Speaker 3: was with food was very normal because that's just all
Speaker 3: I've experienced in my life.
Speaker 2: And so I think a.
Speaker 3: Big part of my twenty twenty six is going to
Speaker 3: be trying to release that negative relationship that I have
Speaker 3: with food based on you know, guilt and fear and
Speaker 3: associating my need to work out based on why.
Speaker 2: I eat, Like that's just not normal.
Speaker 3: And so yes, I stress ee, and I'm still working
Speaker 3: on my relationship with food, and I will let you
Speaker 3: know how that goes and how I navigate that this year.
Speaker 1: Okay, a couple of self love questions. How do you
Speaker 1: stop doubting yourself and practice self love?
Speaker 3: I'll give a short answer to this because I think
Speaker 3: a lot of it comes with what I've said before,
Speaker 3: But my short answer would be, do and give yourself
Speaker 3: the evidence. Like just as you would fall in love
Speaker 3: with someone seeing their actions in the same way, you're
Speaker 3: only going to love yourself by showing yourself that you
Speaker 3: put your money where your mouth is, put all your
Speaker 3: cards on the table, you know, whatever, all those phrases are.
Speaker 3: What I'm trying to say is you have to take action,
Speaker 3: show yourself the evidence that you are worth the love
Speaker 3: that you want to give yourself, and just keep doing that. Honestly,
Speaker 3: it feels more complicated than it actually is. The reality
Speaker 3: is how you'd want to fall in love with someone
Speaker 3: is how you have to take the steps to fall
Speaker 3: in love with yourself.
Speaker 1: Okay, speaking directly to me, cool, thank you. Speaking of dating,
Speaker 1: someone had a specific question, how do you start ruminating
Speaker 1: over an ex after more than six months?
Speaker 3: Really depends how long you've been dating them for and
Speaker 3: sometimes some relationships, you know, I always think of this
Speaker 3: word some scaa, and it means little footprints, and it's
Speaker 3: in regards to little footprints that are left in your
Speaker 3: heart or in your body or in your mind of
Speaker 3: the experiences that you've been through, And if you think
Speaker 3: about it in that way, depending on how much of
Speaker 3: an imprint this person has had in your life, whether
Speaker 3: it was a difficult relationship, whether it was one that
Speaker 3: was filled with so much love that it's really difficult
Speaker 3: to let that go.
Speaker 2: There are so many reasons why someone may leave a deep.
Speaker 3: Imprint into your life, and from my experience, I think
Speaker 3: we kid ourselves into believing that if someone has left
Speaker 3: that deepened imprint in your life, that you are just
Speaker 3: going to forget them, that they're going to leave your
Speaker 3: mind and you're never going to think about them ever again.
Speaker 3: If that does happen, it's probably a sign that you
Speaker 3: didn't really love them much in the first place. And
Speaker 3: so I think it's okay to hold space, not full space,
Speaker 3: but still to hold space for people that you've loved
Speaker 3: along the way, just like we would have people who've
Speaker 3: passed away in our life, just like we would have
Speaker 3: people you know, friends that you no longer I have
Speaker 3: friends that I no longer speak to you, haven't spoken
Speaker 3: to you for ten years, but when I think about them,
Speaker 3: I think about them so fondly, and same with past relationships,
Speaker 3: and so I don't necessarily think that you have to
Speaker 3: fully let go. I think what you do have to
Speaker 3: do is separate the space that you're keeping for them,
Speaker 3: maybe minimize the space that you're keeping for them, to
Speaker 3: allow space for someone else to enter. I think waiting
Speaker 3: for someone to completely leave.
Speaker 2: Our mind, leave our heart.
Speaker 3: And only then I'll be able to move on, And
Speaker 3: I'd actually think it might be unrealistic thing because from
Speaker 3: everyone I've spoken to in my girlfriends, it's absolutely impossible.
Speaker 3: They're still randomly will bring up their ex's name. They'll
Speaker 3: still randomly talk about them, and that's part of relationships
Speaker 3: in our life.
Speaker 2: So I don't know that's helpful.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know whether it's realistic to completely,
Speaker 3: you know, shut shut down and shut off from a
Speaker 3: love that you had.
Speaker 1: That's so helpful. Okay, last question in this category and
Speaker 1: then we'll move on to the last category. How do
Speaker 1: you deal with self sabotage limiting beliefs and or struggling
Speaker 1: with confidence.
Speaker 2: Self sabotage? Sorry?
Speaker 3: Can I just say, it's like turning dark here and
Speaker 3: it's only four twenty seven, and everyone, look, I have
Speaker 3: my my phone is in Gajurai. Well basically it's my
Speaker 3: grandparents underneath. And then I thought it's nice to have
Speaker 3: Gajurai on the over the top because my grandma and
Speaker 3: Grandad's poke Gauri. Anyway, four thirty, it's turning dark here
Speaker 3: and as soon as I see the sun settling, my
Speaker 3: body wants to shut down again.
Speaker 2: How do I deal with self sabotage. What was the
Speaker 2: other one? Yep, yep and yep. I don't know whether that's.
Speaker 3: Similar to what I've already said about the building confidence.
Speaker 3: A big part of it is, honestly, like, you have
Speaker 3: to believe that you deserve more. And the only way
Speaker 3: you can believe you deserve more is by starting to
Speaker 3: notice all the incredible things about yourself. And that's not
Speaker 3: in an egotistical way. It can be in a wow, God,
Speaker 3: it's given me all these gifts. The universe have given me,
Speaker 3: all these gifts.
Speaker 2: That I have.
Speaker 3: How do I emphasize them? How do I expand them?
Speaker 3: How do I show appreciation for them? That's the way
Speaker 3: I got over it, honestly, by not seeing all the
Speaker 3: things that have come into my life as mine, but
Speaker 3: as like, Wow, what a gift, what a blessing that
Speaker 3: these things are the qualities I have, even when it
Speaker 3: comes to things like you know, for so much in
Speaker 3: my life, and I'll be really honest if for so
Speaker 3: much of life I used to be get told, oh my.
Speaker 2: God, your eyes, this your eyes, Your eyes, your eyes.
Speaker 2: That's all I heard from a young age.
Speaker 3: Because it's not common for people who are my skin
Speaker 3: tone to have these eyes, And I used to think, Oh,
Speaker 3: my god, what is the big deal when I was younger,
Speaker 3: and then I realized they ended up becoming a topic
Speaker 3: of conversation. And then I realized I was like, you
Speaker 3: can either we can get ego about something like this,
Speaker 3: or you can say, Wow, what beautiful, what a blessing
Speaker 3: is I've received this in my life. How can I
Speaker 3: use this in a way that's actually going to be useful?
Speaker 3: How can I use this in a way that can
Speaker 3: And whether it's your physical features, whether it's your mental
Speaker 3: whether it's your mind and your intelligence, whether it's there's
Speaker 3: so many things in our life that we get and
Speaker 3: so one is starting to notice it, even if it
Speaker 3: feels really egotistical, like it took me such a long
Speaker 3: time for me to be like, oh, yeah, I guess
Speaker 3: I like my eyes. I still feel weird saying it,
Speaker 3: and then number one noticing it and then thinking not, oh,
Speaker 3: this is mine and I deserve to have it, But
Speaker 3: how grateful am I? And how can I utilize this
Speaker 3: and appreciate it?
Speaker 2: And what does that look like?
Speaker 3: A lot of the time we set sabotage because we
Speaker 3: don't have appreciation for what we have and so I
Speaker 3: think the first step is recognizing what we have, and
Speaker 3: the second step is showing appreciation for it, and then
Speaker 3: we're less likely to self sabotage.
Speaker 2: That makes sense. Spirituality.
Speaker 1: Question, what mantra do you constantly go to in times
Speaker 1: of uncertainty?
Speaker 3: I'm assuming you mean like a like a phrase rather
Speaker 3: than the mantra chance. So I'm going to say I
Speaker 3: have a few. One is this too shall pass?
Speaker 2: I love that so much.
Speaker 3: Nothing you can't handle will come before you. I have
Speaker 3: a deep belief in that. And drink quarter remind your business.
Speaker 2: That's about it.
Speaker 1: How do you honor the memory of your grammar throughout
Speaker 1: your days?
Speaker 2: One way I do is why I just showed you guys.
Speaker 3: I have a picture of my grandma and granddad as
Speaker 3: my background on my phone, and that makes me so happy,
Speaker 3: Like seeing her every single day.
Speaker 2: Makes me so happy.
Speaker 3: I have I'm looking at it now, A whole board
Speaker 3: that's filled with all of her incredible achievements and pictures
Speaker 3: of her when she was younger and newspaper clippings that
Speaker 3: she was in. Keeps her in the forefront of my
Speaker 3: mind every single day. This probably not a day that
Speaker 3: goes by without me thinking of her, And I love
Speaker 3: that so much because then that means I think about
Speaker 3: who she was, her qualities, and then I think about
Speaker 3: how I want to Even subconsciously, I'm thinking how can
Speaker 3: I embody her through my life? And I always used
Speaker 3: to say this to people when they lost their grandparents
Speaker 3: or lost anybody in their life that you know, like
Speaker 3: their parents or grandparents.
Speaker 2: I would say, just know that.
Speaker 3: Even though they're not here physically, you carry them every
Speaker 3: single day in who you are, in the person that
Speaker 3: you choose to be every single day, in the qualities
Speaker 3: that you have, in the way that you love others,
Speaker 3: you have the opportunity to literally carry them with you.
Speaker 3: And so I always remember the way that my grandma
Speaker 3: loved on people like so much, and so I think
Speaker 3: that's what I really try to try to bring about
Speaker 3: in my day.
Speaker 1: Lovely Okay, last category rapid fire and you actually have
Speaker 1: to do a rapid fire Okay, one, two, three, guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2: Pizza.
Speaker 1: How many tattoos do you have? I don't know, tiny
Speaker 1: micro tattoos at least like twenty. What do you miss
Speaker 1: most about Europe?
Speaker 2: The weather? I don't care what you will say.
Speaker 1: What do you use for shampoon conditioner right now, A
Speaker 1: Vada favorite blush right now?
Speaker 3: Oh say they have these dewby drop things and also
Speaker 3: oh lift tinted.
Speaker 1: Favorite? Are you ada? Spice beyond ccf Assid Fatida gives
Speaker 1: me all the flavor. What's your favorite most favorite meal?
Speaker 2: My Mom's anything? My mother makes me last one.
Speaker 1: What's the simple thing that brings you unexpected joy?
Speaker 2: Unexpected joy?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm looking at right now, a sunset
Speaker 3: and it's giving me so much unexpected joy.
Speaker 2: Actually that's expected. What's unexpected joy?
Speaker 3: Uk rap uk rap music gives me unexpected joy, you know,
Speaker 3: and seeing me.
Speaker 1: Every single day so much joy.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for those questions. We're actually so
Speaker 3: meaningful and made me reflect on so much in my
Speaker 3: own life.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: Sending all so much love and yeah, have a wonderful day.