WEBVTT - Q&A: Let’s Talk Relationships, Creative Burnout, Jealousy, and Self-Worth 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:04.480 How did you know Jay was the one? 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:05.880 He was? 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:08.640 I'm Radley d Wlukiah and on my podcast A Really 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.640 Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:16.440 a space for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:19.600 and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:20.560 find comfort together. 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:20.880 Helloa. 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.360 Already today we are going to be doing Q and 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:27.600 A because Larlay, my social media manager, is sitting here 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:30.080 and she collected some questions that you all had that 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:32.640 you wanted to ask me. Some about me, I assume, 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:36.320 some not about me, I hope, and I'm just gonna 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:37.440 go back and forth. I don't actually know what the 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:40.440 questions are, but Lovely Laala over here's going to ask 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:42.640 me them and I'm going to answer for you all. 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:44.400 Thank you all so much for sending in your questions, 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:46.880 so sweet of you. Very excited to do this. Handing 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:47.680 over to Larlay. 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.720 Hello, Hello, Okay, Rady, what's a mistake that you made 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:56.760 that ended up teaching you the most? 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:01.280 She really threw me in the deepen. There a mistake 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:01.800 that I made. 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:03.480 Okay. I don't know whether this is the biggest mistake 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:06.840 that I made, but a mistake that I have made 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:11.679 throughout my life that I've learned from is constantly believing 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.480 that other people knew better for me than I did, 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:18.640 and really believing that I didn't have the capability of 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:19.880 making decisions. 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:20.520 For myself in my life. 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:23.040 And that went on from I don't know, from being 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:26.480 a we little toddler to probably into my late twenties. 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:30.320 It was something that I really learned from because it 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:32.600 took away my power, it took away my confidence. It 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:34.760 made me feel just not great about myself that I 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:36.280 didn't even know what I should be doing in my 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:39.840 own life, whether it was personal or professional in anything, 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:41.880 and so I felt like I just didn't know myself. 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:43.800 So I'd say that was a mistake that I made 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.720 over and over again, just not trusting in my own 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.880 ability to know who I am and make my own 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:50.600 life choices. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:51.920 So don't do that. 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.080 Just know that you are the best person in the 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.560 best position to make your own decisions for yourself. 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.240 Lovely, do I give feedback for each. 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:03.919 Raddie? 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.440 How often do you actually cry? Oh? 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:09.400 My god, how often do I actually cry? Well, Lolly 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:11.520 was here yesterday with me on a shoot and I 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:16.399 cried yesterday. So I'd say like a solid if not more, 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:20.480 but a solid once a week. Like, yeah, definitely a 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.040 solid once a week. Over the weekend, I watched something 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:27.840 cried watching it. Yesterday I was answering a question, cried 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:31.920 in that question. So yeah, I'm going to say fair 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:34.399 to say a solid once a week if not more 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.880 minimum the baseline is once a week and sometimes you 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:38.880 get a bonus as well. 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:42.960 How did you know Jay was the one? 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.600 He was calm in a chaotic world? You know, like 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:54.920 he calmed my nervous system, which I hadn't had before. 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:59.680 He definitely like soothed it in a very long term way. 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.200 Like it wasn't a oh yeah, he's a peaceful person, 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.800 It was a oh yeah. He makes me feel very 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:08.320 calm about my own life, supports me in ways that 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:12.320 I didn't realize I needed. Always made sure that he 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.239 had the opportunity to become my crutch, and he chose 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.920 not to. He chose to help me to find my 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:21.600 own feet. And I really appreciated that because men love 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.640 to be saviors and he didn't want to be one 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.800 of those. He wanted to be the person that lifted 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:28.560 me up and gave me my own two little feet 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:30.480 to walk on, because I was quite lost when we 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:33.520 end up getting married. So yeah, I think there were 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.440 multiple things. But I also think you don't necessarily even 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.480 know that when you get married. You learn it as 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:42.360 you go along. And some days I may want to 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:44.640 punch him in the face, not very often, but sometimes, 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.280 and other times I'm like, oh, yeah, this was a 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:50.080 really good decision. And so I think it ebbs and 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.280 flows so much, and I'm sure as years go on 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.279 you kind of go through different phases of your relationship. 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.840 But I think the stability, the calming of your nervous system, 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:03.560 and the support, and also the foundation for us was 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.680 just that our spiritual values were so met and I 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:08.680 knew that I wanted to be with someone whose main 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:12.400 priority was loving God and with our relationships loving each 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.560 other through the love of God. That was a big, 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:16.159 big pull for me. That's something that I knew I 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:18.039 wanted in my life, and everything else was in addition. 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:19.919 And so that's that. 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:21.960 I'm gonna keep it short and sweet. 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.479 How do you handle differences of opinion with your spouse. 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:32.600 Well, I'm a bit sasy and I like to be 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:33.520 really stubborn. 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:34.760 I don't like it. 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:39.000 I just am really stubborn, and so I struggle with 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.960 that because sometimes I know I'm in the wrong, but 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:45.000 I still just have to keep fighting my corner. How 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:49.600 do I handle differences now, I've tried to, even if 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.720 in the moment I get really agitated or I can 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.880 be a bit sassy, within a couple of minutes, I 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:59.680 try to calm myself and be strategic. Sometimes I need 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:02.880 space and I need time to think about my response, 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:06.679 and so I'll take that time. And luckily we're both 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.920 people who don't really like arguing, and so we'll try 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.040 our best to come at this with love rather than 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.920 the desire to be right most of the time, and 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.520 try to come together to have a resolving conversation rather 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:22.920 than I am right conversation. And usually if we both 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:26.039 come with that intention, it resolves much faster. I also 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:28.839 think I'm the type of person and so is he, 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:32.359 where we just don't hold grudges that much, and so 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.159 even if we're annoyed at something like an hour ago, 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.400 we let go of things really fast. Both of us 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.160 are people with friends and family. We let go of 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.559 things so fast, and I think that's something we've trained 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:43.960 ourselves to be so that life just doesn't feel so heavy. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.320 How do you maintain individuality while being in a relationship. 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:54.600 I find that. 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:56.840 Question really interesting because I never really felt like I 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.720 lost my individuality in the relationship, and I think it's 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:04.840 because we both had such different personalities. In so many ways, 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:07.320 we had different personalities and so we couldn't really become 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.599 the same person or feel like we lost ourselves in 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.520 each other. Oh, I'll tell you a big reason. That 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:15.000 is because neither of us expected the other person to 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:18.480 compromise based on what we wanted. And so I'll give 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.440 you a really minor example. I knew that family is 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.240 really important to me, and I wanted to travel back 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:26.720 and forth from London and LA to spend time in 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:28.600 my family. Did I expect him to do that all 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.680 the time with me when that wasn't his priority. No. 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:33.479 Jay has a purpose and a desire of what he 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.960 wants to do in his life, and that may mean 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:38.599 traveling across the world to speak in different places and 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:40.920 do things. Does he expect me to go with him? No? 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.480 And so I think the thing I've learned from him 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.440 on how to remain individuals and how to support each 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:49.440 other is allow the person to do what they love 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:51.760 doing and that's going to make them a better person. 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.720 As soon as you start trying to control or dictate 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.120 how the other person lives their life, it is just 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.560 asking for failure, just asking for an argument. It's just 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.880 asking for that other person to not do what makes 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:07.719 them happy, and then the relationship isn't happy. And so 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:10.680 I think it's supporting each other in where you want, 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:12.600 what you want to do and trying to allow that 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:14.800 person to live a life that may be different to 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:16.960 the way that you want to live it as long 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:19.600 as it doesn't jeopardize your relationship in any way. 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:24.080 Moving on to a different type of relationship, how do 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:26.360 you overcome friendship breakups? 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:30.600 Yeah, oh this is a hard one for sure. I 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.800 have been through a few friendship breakups myself. How do 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.679 I navigate it at first? You know, when I was younger, 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:39.200 I used to really take it to heart. I would 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:42.600 try everything. I would cling on to the threads left 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:44.760 of that relationship even if there were none left, Even 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:48.520 though even if they had been burnt completely, I was 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.600 still try and hold on to it. And it just 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.280 made me realize a force friendship a forced relationship, but 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:58.680 force anything is never a good thing, and sometimes when 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:01.840 you hold onto things for longer than necessary, it actually 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:04.040 makes the relationship far worse than just letting it go. 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:06.480 And I can obviously say that in hindsight, it's harder 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:08.640 in the moment, but I remember, I'll tell you one 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.360 story that really helped me to see the perspective on that. 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:15.920 I had a friend that i'd known since I was sixteen, 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:20.000 at the age of twenty four, so a good eight 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.160 years I think. Yeah, at the age of twenty four, 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:26.360 we really fell apart. We just were not agreeing on things. 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.160 We had a disagreement, didn't feel like we had much 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.560 left to have a friendship on, so we decided to 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:33.720 take a break. Well, we thought we were just not 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:35.240 going to be friends at all, so we decided that 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:38.480 we just wouldn't talk to each other. Two years later 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.839 or something, something happened in her life, she reached out 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.480 to me again. We end up having a conversation, and 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:48.440 since then we reconnected and we've been friends again. I've 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.560 had the same thing with friends that I've had breaks 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:52.679 from for like five years at a time as well. 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:56.079 Sometimes it's okay to let things go, to allow yourselves 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:57.719 to grow and change in a way that brings you 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.559 back together in a better and different way. And I've 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.560 had examples of that in my life that has made 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:06.640 me have faith in that. But also, you know, relationships 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:09.240 are hard enough. Your friendship should be easy. They should 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.360 be the thing that you don't have to put too 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:12.280 much effort into it. 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:14.880 It's not difficult, it's not tiring. 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:18.079 We have enough of that in our relationships that were 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:20.760 with people that we're family with, Like you have to 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:21.959 try and make a relationship. You have to try and 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:24.199 build your relationship with your parents, your sisters, your siblings, 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.320 you're related to them. But your friends are the people 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:27.559 that you choose, right, and so. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:29.840 Why make that difficult? 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:37.200 Okay, moving on to some career questions. How do you 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.280 organize your day and motivate yourself as a business owner 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:42.280 or someone who's self employed. 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:47.320 Yeah, so I actually became self employed. So I worked 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.320 in a hospital for a while when I lived in London, 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:55.440 and then I became self employed when I was so 0:09:55.480 --> 0:10:00.520 I'm going to say approximately nine years ago I became employed. 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:03.439 And our first structure was so difficult. Trying to plan 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:07.120 my days out was so difficult because time is just there, 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:10.640 you know, like no one's telling you have to do anything. 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:12.000 No one's forcing you to. 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:16.600 You've got no deadlines, no timelines, because I was so 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:19.000 used to having other people giving me them. And so 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:21.120 what I learned is the first thing you have to 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:23.040 do is create a routine and structure in your life. 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.360 And how do you do that, Well, you literally write 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:29.240 our timetable. We function best when we have routine in 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:33.520 our life, and so create your personal routine, your professional routine, 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:35.480 and try and figure out in the day where that 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.120 all fits in. Make sure you have some sort of 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:39.480 activity in your life that has to be a must 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.560 for a physical body, for your mental body, some sort 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.160 of practice that feeds your soul during the day. And 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:48.200 then break up your day into First of all, break 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.160 up your goals or the plan that you're trying to 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.840 make into into smaller steps, and then just start fitting 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.199 them into your days, into your weeks, into your months. 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:58.400 I think planning is really important, but I think doing 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:02.080 is almost more important. And so I just started, you know, 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:05.040 I started filming things, I started editing things. Sometimes I 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:06.960 would do two things in a day, sometimes it would before, 0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:08.880 but I had to start doing things to know how 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:11.080 much I could even fit into a day. And so 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.560 I would say, obviously, plan, but just start going, Like, 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.640 make sure you don't wait too long to keep planning 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:19.240 and perfecting before you get going. 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.240 How do you overcome the fear of failure. 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.760 By realizing that failure isn't a negative thing, by realizing 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.920 that failure is not an obscure thing that only some 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:35.840 people go through. Every single person goes to failure in 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:36.439 some way. 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:37.240 In their life. 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.720 And we've been taught to demonize failure like it's something 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.319 negative that happens in our life. But if you believe 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:45.920 that everything happens in your life for a reason, which 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:49.360 I strongly started believing in, then you know that there 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:51.920 is a reason why that happened, whether it is the 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.480 flight that you missed, whether it is the job. 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:55.120 That you didn't get. 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.679 Think about all the times where things were missed in 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:00.160 your life and you were so upset about it, but 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:02.440 it was actually saving you from something or saving you 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:03.240 for something better. 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:05.880 And I really believe in that. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:07.760 The amount of times I've heard that I missed the flight, 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:09.880 but something happened on that fly, The amount of times 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.280 that I've not got to somewhere because there was even traffic, 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.000 and I realized that there'd been an accident on the 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:18.200 way that I was meant to be going all the time, 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.920 that I didn't get the partnerships that I wanted, and 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.120 then I realized something happened with that brand, Like, there's 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.920 so many times where that's happened in my life. And 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.959 even if it feels like a failure, I think you 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.520 have to realize that winds and failures are just part 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:35.360 of one cycle and it's a totally natural way to 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.800 go through life. We can't just have wins throughout our 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:40.200 whole life. That's not how it works. And so coming 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.440 to terms with the fact that failure failure is just 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.040 a part of life is so important, and then also 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:48.040 having a bigger picture and a bigger perspective of Wow, 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.720 I only know what I see in my life. I 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:52.560 have no idea what the bigger plan is. I have 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.000 no idea what's in store for me, And so believing 0:12:55.160 --> 0:13:00.200 in more than what you just see. 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:03.520 How do you handle creative blocks or burnout? 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.280 Creative blocks or burnout? How do I deal with that? Oh, 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:10.040 I've had creative blocks and burner. I feel like I'm 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:11.560 going through it right now. To be honest, we have 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:15.480 had a really unexpected year, and we've had to really 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.400 cram lots of things into the year in the time 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:21.679 that I have had, and sometimes I'm like, oh, I 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:23.800 feel like I've got nothing left in me. And you 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.000 know what that is a sign of to me, either 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:28.320 that I need some sort of rest, but even more so, 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:30.560 it's a sign for me that I need to learn 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:33.760 and need to reabsorb myself in some sort of study, 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.120 some sort of learning, observing real life, being present in 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.400 the moment. Most of the time, we end up having 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:42.440 creative block. Creativity is around us at all times, in 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:46.000 every single moment, in conversations, in our experiences, in nature 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:48.320 around us. The time that we feel like we have 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.480 a creativity block or like we've got no inspiration is 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.360 when we stop noticing. As soon as you stop noticing 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.600 life around you is when you get bored and when 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:58.880 you feel like you've got nothing left in you. And 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:02.520 so there's always something learn. We have unlimited amount of 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:04.800 things in this world to learn. Whether it's about trees, 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.040 whether it's about I don't know, neuroscience, you know, we've 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:09.959 got plenty of things that we can learn and be 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.400 inspired by. And so the moment you stop learning is 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:16.240 the moment you become stagnant and you feel like there's 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:21.480 nothing left. And also this idea of repetitive things feeling boring, 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:26.160 But sometimes it's less about the repetition and more about 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.160 the fact that you're not noticing the differences in your day. 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:31.000 You're only focusing on the things that are the same. 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:34.440 And so I'd say open your eyes a little wider, 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:38.280 be a little bit more present, and start to find 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.560 the little things in your day that feel magical that 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:43.360 didn't before. 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:46.760 What's the hardest part of your work? 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:51.880 Hardest part of my work? 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:56.800 Honestly, sometimes for me I struggle with because a lot 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.960 of my work is online. It's just the fear of judgment, 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.080 which is something that I really work through on a 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.080 daily basis, or at least try to, whether it's a 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:09.080 physical appearance, whether it's the way people have perceived me, 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:12.720 whether it's the way people have misunderstood me. Like there's 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.960 so many things that you put yourself into by doing 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.440 the line of work that I do, But I also 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:20.560 always remind myself that it is just part and parcel 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:24.320 of it. Like I can't choose to be online and 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.080 not have that as be part of it. It just 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:28.840 doesn't happen in that way, and so I'd say that's 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.560 a really difficult part. And then also feeling like you're 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:34.440 being original. I think that's another thing that I find difficult. 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:37.560 It's you're constantly seeing all these trends, You're constantly seeing 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.120 people produce like all this amazing content. You're like, I 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:41.800 wish I could do stuff like that, and I wish 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.200 my content looked like that. And everything's always about being 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.400 better and better and better, and so what I'm trying 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.960 to do instead is do less, but do it well. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.800 And that's something that I've been trying to practice this year, 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:53.640 but hope to do better next year. 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.880 Moving into more of a self reflection and growth category. 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:02.040 But off the back of comparing yourself to others, a 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.800 lot of people had a question about do you ever 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:09.880 compare your journey to others and how do you stop? Do? I? 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:10.720 Of course I do. 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:14.640 I wouldn't say I ever have this desire to be 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.600 like the best of anything. I've never really been that 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:21.680 type of person where I've been driven to have the 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.400 number one spot for something or like really be the 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:29.000 best at something. It's never really been my mentality. But 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:32.680 definitely when it comes to. You know, I've realized it's 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:37.840 so easy and to appreciate someone's success when it's far 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:41.160 from yours. Like it's so easy to say, oh, Wow, 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.680 this person who is an incredible dancer. They are so 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:46.840 incredible and I love the content that they do, and 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:50.080 it's so easy to feel joy for that person. The 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.280 hardest thing to feel joy about are the people who 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:56.800 are doing very similar things to yours. And that's when 0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:00.760 you know whether you have ultimate comf and what you 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.000 do or whether you still have some insecurities about it. 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:05.800 And so I ever and flow through that. Sometimes when 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:07.520 I feel so rooted in my purpose and I know 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:09.840 that it's not about those things, and I know that 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.320 it's about how many people I get to help and 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:15.560 whether I'm having fun and whether I'm happy in the 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:18.320 work that I'm doing, I feel like I can really 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:20.440 look past that. But sometimes when I'm not feeling great 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.320 in the things that I'm producing or not good in myself, 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:28.439 I notice the jealousy and the judgment kind of peers 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.160 piercing through my little bubble that I try to keep 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:33.800 around me. And so what I've learned to do is 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:37.400 see my jealousy as signals and signs of things that 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:40.280 I want in my life, but also of things that 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.280 I want to improve on in my life. And so 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:46.080 I think it's okay to have feelings of jealousy. I 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:49.000 think it's a part of our human experience of thinking, Oh, 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.480 I wish I had this in my life, or I 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:54.160 wish I could do this in my life. But it's 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.840 really how you take that jealousy and what you turn into. 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.320 So either you can turn it into spite and despise 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:02.760 for that person, which would be unuseful, or you can 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:06.440 turn into a moment of reflection and noticing that, oh, 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:07.840 these are the things that I might want in life. 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:08.919 How can I make that happen. 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.520 Have you dealt with stress eating and or how do 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:19.480 you release negative energy after a tough day? 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:21.080 Oh my god? 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:25.040 Okay, So I my vice in life is definitely food 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:27.359 and I haven't and people always get surprised at that 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:29.080 because they're like, oh, you eat so healthy. And the 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:31.000 thing is, I do beat healthy like nine to nine 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:32.919 percent of the time. And even if I do end 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:36.520 up eating things that are not that great, they're still 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:38.639 on the relative scale of life great. Yes, they are 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.680 still okay for me, but it's not whether they're good 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:42.960 or bad for me. It's the fact that I feel 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:47.560 controlled by the food itself, and I actually never have 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:50.879 done like, I've never drunk alcohol, I've never taken drugs. 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:54.240 So my thing has always been food. My emotions are 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:58.000 released through eating happiness. I'm like, let's invite everyone over 0:18:58.040 --> 0:18:59.840 and eat cake and sad. 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:02.040 I'm like, I just want to have a cookie, and. 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:04.560 Any stress emotion, I'm like, I just need some chocolate, 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:07.000 I need some sugar, I need some something. And so 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:09.800 I've really been trying to help my mind be trained 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:12.280 out of that, but I honestly still really struggle with it. 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:14.680 I don't think I was thinking about this the other 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:18.800 day when I was writing the solo episode, because I'd 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:20.639 looked at myself in the moment and I was like, 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.359