1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: How did you know Jay was the one? 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 2: He was? 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 3: I'm Radley d Wlukiah and on my podcast A Really 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 3: Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing 5 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 3: a space for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 3: and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 3: find comfort together. 8 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 2: Helloa. 9 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 3: Already today we are going to be doing Q and 10 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 3: A because Larlay, my social media manager, is sitting here 11 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 3: and she collected some questions that you all had that 12 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 3: you wanted to ask me. Some about me, I assume, 13 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 3: some not about me, I hope, and I'm just gonna 14 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 3: go back and forth. I don't actually know what the 15 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 3: questions are, but Lovely Laala over here's going to ask 16 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 3: me them and I'm going to answer for you all. 17 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 3: Thank you all so much for sending in your questions, 18 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 3: so sweet of you. Very excited to do this. Handing 19 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 3: over to Larlay. 20 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Okay, Rady, what's a mistake that you made 21 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: that ended up teaching you the most? 22 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 2: She really threw me in the deepen. There a mistake 23 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 2: that I made. 24 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 3: Okay. I don't know whether this is the biggest mistake 25 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 3: that I made, but a mistake that I have made 26 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 3: throughout my life that I've learned from is constantly believing 27 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 3: that other people knew better for me than I did, 28 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 3: and really believing that I didn't have the capability of 29 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 3: making decisions. 30 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: For myself in my life. 31 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 3: And that went on from I don't know, from being 32 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 3: a we little toddler to probably into my late twenties. 33 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 3: It was something that I really learned from because it 34 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 3: took away my power, it took away my confidence. It 35 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 3: made me feel just not great about myself that I 36 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 3: didn't even know what I should be doing in my 37 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 3: own life, whether it was personal or professional in anything, 38 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 3: and so I felt like I just didn't know myself. 39 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 3: So I'd say that was a mistake that I made 40 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 3: over and over again, just not trusting in my own 41 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 3: ability to know who I am and make my own 42 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 3: life choices. 43 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 2: So don't do that. 44 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 3: Just know that you are the best person in the 45 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 3: best position to make your own decisions for yourself. 46 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: Lovely, do I give feedback for each. 47 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:03,919 Speaker 2: Raddie? 48 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: How often do you actually cry? Oh? 49 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 3: My god, how often do I actually cry? Well, Lolly 50 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 3: was here yesterday with me on a shoot and I 51 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:16,399 Speaker 3: cried yesterday. So I'd say like a solid if not more, 52 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 3: but a solid once a week. Like, yeah, definitely a 53 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 3: solid once a week. Over the weekend, I watched something 54 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 3: cried watching it. Yesterday I was answering a question, cried 55 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 3: in that question. So yeah, I'm going to say fair 56 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,399 Speaker 3: to say a solid once a week if not more 57 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 3: minimum the baseline is once a week and sometimes you 58 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 3: get a bonus as well. 59 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: How did you know Jay was the one? 60 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 3: He was calm in a chaotic world? You know, like 61 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 3: he calmed my nervous system, which I hadn't had before. 62 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 3: He definitely like soothed it in a very long term way. 63 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 3: Like it wasn't a oh yeah, he's a peaceful person, 64 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 3: It was a oh yeah. He makes me feel very 65 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 3: calm about my own life, supports me in ways that 66 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 3: I didn't realize I needed. Always made sure that he 67 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,239 Speaker 3: had the opportunity to become my crutch, and he chose 68 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 3: not to. He chose to help me to find my 69 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 3: own feet. And I really appreciated that because men love 70 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 3: to be saviors and he didn't want to be one 71 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 3: of those. He wanted to be the person that lifted 72 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 3: me up and gave me my own two little feet 73 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 3: to walk on, because I was quite lost when we 74 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 3: end up getting married. So yeah, I think there were 75 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 3: multiple things. But I also think you don't necessarily even 76 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 3: know that when you get married. You learn it as 77 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 3: you go along. And some days I may want to 78 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 3: punch him in the face, not very often, but sometimes, 79 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: and other times I'm like, oh, yeah, this was a 80 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: really good decision. And so I think it ebbs and 81 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 3: flows so much, and I'm sure as years go on 82 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,279 Speaker 3: you kind of go through different phases of your relationship. 83 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 3: But I think the stability, the calming of your nervous system, 84 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 3: and the support, and also the foundation for us was 85 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 3: just that our spiritual values were so met and I 86 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 3: knew that I wanted to be with someone whose main 87 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 3: priority was loving God and with our relationships loving each 88 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 3: other through the love of God. That was a big, 89 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 3: big pull for me. That's something that I knew I 90 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,039 Speaker 3: wanted in my life, and everything else was in addition. 91 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 2: And so that's that. 92 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 3: I'm gonna keep it short and sweet. 93 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 1: How do you handle differences of opinion with your spouse. 94 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 3: Well, I'm a bit sasy and I like to be 95 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 3: really stubborn. 96 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 2: I don't like it. 97 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 3: I just am really stubborn, and so I struggle with 98 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 3: that because sometimes I know I'm in the wrong, but 99 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 3: I still just have to keep fighting my corner. How 100 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 3: do I handle differences now, I've tried to, even if 101 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 3: in the moment I get really agitated or I can 102 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 3: be a bit sassy, within a couple of minutes, I 103 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 3: try to calm myself and be strategic. Sometimes I need 104 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 3: space and I need time to think about my response, 105 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,679 Speaker 3: and so I'll take that time. And luckily we're both 106 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 3: people who don't really like arguing, and so we'll try 107 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 3: our best to come at this with love rather than 108 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 3: the desire to be right most of the time, and 109 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 3: try to come together to have a resolving conversation rather 110 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 3: than I am right conversation. And usually if we both 111 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 3: come with that intention, it resolves much faster. I also 112 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 3: think I'm the type of person and so is he, 113 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 3: where we just don't hold grudges that much, and so 114 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 3: even if we're annoyed at something like an hour ago, 115 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 3: we let go of things really fast. Both of us 116 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 3: are people with friends and family. We let go of 117 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,559 Speaker 3: things so fast, and I think that's something we've trained 118 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 3: ourselves to be so that life just doesn't feel so heavy. 119 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: How do you maintain individuality while being in a relationship. 120 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 2: I find that. 121 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 3: Question really interesting because I never really felt like I 122 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 3: lost my individuality in the relationship, and I think it's 123 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 3: because we both had such different personalities. In so many ways, 124 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 3: we had different personalities and so we couldn't really become 125 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 3: the same person or feel like we lost ourselves in 126 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 3: each other. Oh, I'll tell you a big reason. That 127 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 3: is because neither of us expected the other person to 128 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 3: compromise based on what we wanted. And so I'll give 129 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 3: you a really minor example. I knew that family is 130 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 3: really important to me, and I wanted to travel back 131 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,720 Speaker 3: and forth from London and LA to spend time in 132 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 3: my family. Did I expect him to do that all 133 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 3: the time with me when that wasn't his priority. No. 134 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 3: Jay has a purpose and a desire of what he 135 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 3: wants to do in his life, and that may mean 136 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 3: traveling across the world to speak in different places and 137 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 3: do things. Does he expect me to go with him? No? 138 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 3: And so I think the thing I've learned from him 139 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 3: on how to remain individuals and how to support each 140 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 3: other is allow the person to do what they love 141 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 3: doing and that's going to make them a better person. 142 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 3: As soon as you start trying to control or dictate 143 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 3: how the other person lives their life, it is just 144 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 3: asking for failure, just asking for an argument. It's just 145 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 3: asking for that other person to not do what makes 146 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 3: them happy, and then the relationship isn't happy. And so 147 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 3: I think it's supporting each other in where you want, 148 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 3: what you want to do and trying to allow that 149 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 3: person to live a life that may be different to 150 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 3: the way that you want to live it as long 151 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 3: as it doesn't jeopardize your relationship in any way. 152 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: Moving on to a different type of relationship, how do 153 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: you overcome friendship breakups? 154 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh this is a hard one for sure. I 155 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 3: have been through a few friendship breakups myself. How do 156 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,679 Speaker 3: I navigate it at first? You know, when I was younger, 157 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 3: I used to really take it to heart. I would 158 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 3: try everything. I would cling on to the threads left 159 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 3: of that relationship even if there were none left, Even 160 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 3: though even if they had been burnt completely, I was 161 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 3: still try and hold on to it. And it just 162 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 3: made me realize a force friendship a forced relationship, but 163 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 3: force anything is never a good thing, and sometimes when 164 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 3: you hold onto things for longer than necessary, it actually 165 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 3: makes the relationship far worse than just letting it go. 166 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 3: And I can obviously say that in hindsight, it's harder 167 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 3: in the moment, but I remember, I'll tell you one 168 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 3: story that really helped me to see the perspective on that. 169 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 3: I had a friend that i'd known since I was sixteen, 170 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 3: at the age of twenty four, so a good eight 171 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 3: years I think. Yeah, at the age of twenty four, 172 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 3: we really fell apart. We just were not agreeing on things. 173 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 3: We had a disagreement, didn't feel like we had much 174 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 3: left to have a friendship on, so we decided to 175 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 3: take a break. Well, we thought we were just not 176 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 3: going to be friends at all, so we decided that 177 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 3: we just wouldn't talk to each other. Two years later 178 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,839 Speaker 3: or something, something happened in her life, she reached out 179 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 3: to me again. We end up having a conversation, and 180 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 3: since then we reconnected and we've been friends again. I've 181 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 3: had the same thing with friends that I've had breaks 182 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:52,679 Speaker 3: from for like five years at a time as well. 183 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,079 Speaker 3: Sometimes it's okay to let things go, to allow yourselves 184 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,719 Speaker 3: to grow and change in a way that brings you 185 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,559 Speaker 3: back together in a better and different way. And I've 186 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 3: had examples of that in my life that has made 187 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 3: me have faith in that. But also, you know, relationships 188 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 3: are hard enough. Your friendship should be easy. They should 189 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 3: be the thing that you don't have to put too 190 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 3: much effort into it. 191 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 2: It's not difficult, it's not tiring. 192 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,079 Speaker 3: We have enough of that in our relationships that were 193 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 3: with people that we're family with, Like you have to 194 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,959 Speaker 3: try and make a relationship. You have to try and 195 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,199 Speaker 3: build your relationship with your parents, your sisters, your siblings, 196 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 3: you're related to them. But your friends are the people 197 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 3: that you choose, right, and so. 198 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 2: Why make that difficult? 199 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 1: Okay, moving on to some career questions. How do you 200 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: organize your day and motivate yourself as a business owner 201 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: or someone who's self employed. 202 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I actually became self employed. So I worked 203 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 3: in a hospital for a while when I lived in London, 204 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 3: and then I became self employed when I was so 205 00:09:55,480 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 3: I'm going to say approximately nine years ago I became employed. 206 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 3: And our first structure was so difficult. Trying to plan 207 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 3: my days out was so difficult because time is just there, 208 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 3: you know, like no one's telling you have to do anything. 209 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 2: No one's forcing you to. 210 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 3: You've got no deadlines, no timelines, because I was so 211 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 3: used to having other people giving me them. And so 212 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 3: what I learned is the first thing you have to 213 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 3: do is create a routine and structure in your life. 214 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 3: And how do you do that, Well, you literally write 215 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 3: our timetable. We function best when we have routine in 216 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 3: our life, and so create your personal routine, your professional routine, 217 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 3: and try and figure out in the day where that 218 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 3: all fits in. Make sure you have some sort of 219 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 3: activity in your life that has to be a must 220 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,560 Speaker 3: for a physical body, for your mental body, some sort 221 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 3: of practice that feeds your soul during the day. And 222 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 3: then break up your day into First of all, break 223 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 3: up your goals or the plan that you're trying to 224 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 3: make into into smaller steps, and then just start fitting 225 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 3: them into your days, into your weeks, into your months. 226 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 3: I think planning is really important, but I think doing 227 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 3: is almost more important. And so I just started, you know, 228 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 3: I started filming things, I started editing things. Sometimes I 229 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 3: would do two things in a day, sometimes it would before, 230 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 3: but I had to start doing things to know how 231 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 3: much I could even fit into a day. And so 232 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 3: I would say, obviously, plan, but just start going, Like, 233 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 3: make sure you don't wait too long to keep planning 234 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 3: and perfecting before you get going. 235 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: How do you overcome the fear of failure. 236 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 3: By realizing that failure isn't a negative thing, by realizing 237 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 3: that failure is not an obscure thing that only some 238 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 3: people go through. Every single person goes to failure in 239 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 3: some way. 240 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 2: In their life. 241 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 3: And we've been taught to demonize failure like it's something 242 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,319 Speaker 3: negative that happens in our life. But if you believe 243 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 3: that everything happens in your life for a reason, which 244 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 3: I strongly started believing in, then you know that there 245 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 3: is a reason why that happened, whether it is the 246 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 3: flight that you missed, whether it is the job. 247 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 2: That you didn't get. 248 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 3: Think about all the times where things were missed in 249 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 3: your life and you were so upset about it, but 250 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 3: it was actually saving you from something or saving you 251 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 3: for something better. 252 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 2: And I really believe in that. 253 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 3: The amount of times I've heard that I missed the flight, 254 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 3: but something happened on that fly, The amount of times 255 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 3: that I've not got to somewhere because there was even traffic, 256 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 3: and I realized that there'd been an accident on the 257 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 3: way that I was meant to be going all the time, 258 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 3: that I didn't get the partnerships that I wanted, and 259 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 3: then I realized something happened with that brand, Like, there's 260 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 3: so many times where that's happened in my life. And 261 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,959 Speaker 3: even if it feels like a failure, I think you 262 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 3: have to realize that winds and failures are just part 263 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 3: of one cycle and it's a totally natural way to 264 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 3: go through life. We can't just have wins throughout our 265 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 3: whole life. That's not how it works. And so coming 266 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 3: to terms with the fact that failure failure is just 267 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 3: a part of life is so important, and then also 268 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 3: having a bigger picture and a bigger perspective of Wow, 269 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 3: I only know what I see in my life. I 270 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 3: have no idea what the bigger plan is. I have 271 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 3: no idea what's in store for me, And so believing 272 00:12:55,160 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 3: in more than what you just see. 273 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: How do you handle creative blocks or burnout? 274 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 3: Creative blocks or burnout? How do I deal with that? Oh, 275 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 3: I've had creative blocks and burner. I feel like I'm 276 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 3: going through it right now. To be honest, we have 277 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 3: had a really unexpected year, and we've had to really 278 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 3: cram lots of things into the year in the time 279 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,679 Speaker 3: that I have had, and sometimes I'm like, oh, I 280 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 3: feel like I've got nothing left in me. And you 281 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 3: know what that is a sign of to me, either 282 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 3: that I need some sort of rest, but even more so, 283 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 3: it's a sign for me that I need to learn 284 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 3: and need to reabsorb myself in some sort of study, 285 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 3: some sort of learning, observing real life, being present in 286 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 3: the moment. Most of the time, we end up having 287 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 3: creative block. Creativity is around us at all times, in 288 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 3: every single moment, in conversations, in our experiences, in nature 289 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 3: around us. The time that we feel like we have 290 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 3: a creativity block or like we've got no inspiration is 291 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 3: when we stop noticing. As soon as you stop noticing 292 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 3: life around you is when you get bored and when 293 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 3: you feel like you've got nothing left in you. And 294 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 3: so there's always something learn. We have unlimited amount of 295 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 3: things in this world to learn. Whether it's about trees, 296 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 3: whether it's about I don't know, neuroscience, you know, we've 297 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,959 Speaker 3: got plenty of things that we can learn and be 298 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 3: inspired by. And so the moment you stop learning is 299 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 3: the moment you become stagnant and you feel like there's 300 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 3: nothing left. And also this idea of repetitive things feeling boring, 301 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 3: But sometimes it's less about the repetition and more about 302 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 3: the fact that you're not noticing the differences in your day. 303 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 3: You're only focusing on the things that are the same. 304 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 3: And so I'd say open your eyes a little wider, 305 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 3: be a little bit more present, and start to find 306 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 3: the little things in your day that feel magical that 307 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 3: didn't before. 308 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: What's the hardest part of your work? 309 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 2: Hardest part of my work? 310 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 3: Honestly, sometimes for me I struggle with because a lot 311 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 3: of my work is online. It's just the fear of judgment, 312 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 3: which is something that I really work through on a 313 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 3: daily basis, or at least try to, whether it's a 314 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 3: physical appearance, whether it's the way people have perceived me, 315 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 3: whether it's the way people have misunderstood me. Like there's 316 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 3: so many things that you put yourself into by doing 317 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 3: the line of work that I do, But I also 318 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 3: always remind myself that it is just part and parcel 319 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 3: of it. Like I can't choose to be online and 320 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 3: not have that as be part of it. It just 321 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 3: doesn't happen in that way, and so I'd say that's 322 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 3: a really difficult part. And then also feeling like you're 323 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 3: being original. I think that's another thing that I find difficult. 324 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 3: It's you're constantly seeing all these trends, You're constantly seeing 325 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 3: people produce like all this amazing content. You're like, I 326 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 3: wish I could do stuff like that, and I wish 327 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 3: my content looked like that. And everything's always about being 328 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 3: better and better and better, and so what I'm trying 329 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 3: to do instead is do less, but do it well. 330 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 3: And that's something that I've been trying to practice this year, 331 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 3: but hope to do better next year. 332 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: Moving into more of a self reflection and growth category. 333 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: But off the back of comparing yourself to others, a 334 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 1: lot of people had a question about do you ever 335 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: compare your journey to others and how do you stop? Do? I? 336 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 2: Of course I do. 337 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I ever have this desire to be 338 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 3: like the best of anything. I've never really been that 339 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 3: type of person where I've been driven to have the 340 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 3: number one spot for something or like really be the 341 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 3: best at something. It's never really been my mentality. But 342 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 3: definitely when it comes to. You know, I've realized it's 343 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 3: so easy and to appreciate someone's success when it's far 344 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 3: from yours. Like it's so easy to say, oh, Wow, 345 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 3: this person who is an incredible dancer. They are so 346 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 3: incredible and I love the content that they do, and 347 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 3: it's so easy to feel joy for that person. The 348 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 3: hardest thing to feel joy about are the people who 349 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 3: are doing very similar things to yours. And that's when 350 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 3: you know whether you have ultimate comf and what you 351 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 3: do or whether you still have some insecurities about it. 352 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 3: And so I ever and flow through that. Sometimes when 353 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 3: I feel so rooted in my purpose and I know 354 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 3: that it's not about those things, and I know that 355 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 3: it's about how many people I get to help and 356 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 3: whether I'm having fun and whether I'm happy in the 357 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 3: work that I'm doing, I feel like I can really 358 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 3: look past that. But sometimes when I'm not feeling great 359 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 3: in the things that I'm producing or not good in myself, 360 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:28,439 Speaker 3: I notice the jealousy and the judgment kind of peers 361 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 3: piercing through my little bubble that I try to keep 362 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 3: around me. And so what I've learned to do is 363 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 3: see my jealousy as signals and signs of things that 364 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 3: I want in my life, but also of things that 365 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 3: I want to improve on in my life. And so 366 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 3: I think it's okay to have feelings of jealousy. I 367 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 3: think it's a part of our human experience of thinking, Oh, 368 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 3: I wish I had this in my life, or I 369 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,160 Speaker 3: wish I could do this in my life. But it's 370 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 3: really how you take that jealousy and what you turn into. 371 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 3: So either you can turn it into spite and despise 372 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 3: for that person, which would be unuseful, or you can 373 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,440 Speaker 3: turn into a moment of reflection and noticing that, oh, 374 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 3: these are the things that I might want in life. 375 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 2: How can I make that happen. 376 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: Have you dealt with stress eating and or how do 377 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,480 Speaker 1: you release negative energy after a tough day? 378 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,080 Speaker 2: Oh my god? 379 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 3: Okay, So I my vice in life is definitely food 380 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 3: and I haven't and people always get surprised at that 381 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 3: because they're like, oh, you eat so healthy. And the 382 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 3: thing is, I do beat healthy like nine to nine 383 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 3: percent of the time. And even if I do end 384 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 3: up eating things that are not that great, they're still 385 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 3: on the relative scale of life great. Yes, they are 386 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 3: still okay for me, but it's not whether they're good 387 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 3: or bad for me. It's the fact that I feel 388 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 3: controlled by the food itself, and I actually never have 389 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 3: done like, I've never drunk alcohol, I've never taken drugs. 390 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 3: So my thing has always been food. My emotions are 391 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 3: released through eating happiness. I'm like, let's invite everyone over 392 00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 3: and eat cake and sad. 393 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, I just want to have a cookie, and. 394 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 3: Any stress emotion, I'm like, I just need some chocolate, 395 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 3: I need some sugar, I need some something. And so 396 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 3: I've really been trying to help my mind be trained 397 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 3: out of that, but I honestly still really struggle with it. 398 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 3: I don't think I was thinking about this the other 399 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 3: day when I was writing the solo episode, because I'd 400 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,639 Speaker 3: looked at myself in the moment and I was like, 401 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 3: really disappointed in parts of my body, and I was like, God, 402 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 3: how many years am I going to go through my 403 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 3: whole life? 404 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 2: I've gone through. 405 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 3: Eating consciously, but not in a conscious good way, in 406 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 3: like a oh, I'm gonna if I eat this, I 407 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:36,880 Speaker 3: then have to work out like this tomorrow, Or if 408 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 3: I eat a whole pizza? Is there a bit of 409 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 3: guilt link to it? I realize that there's even though 410 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,960 Speaker 3: I love food and I appreciate the way that it 411 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 3: fuels my body, I don't necessarily have the best relationship 412 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 3: with food. And I thought that the way my relationship 413 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 3: was with food was very normal because that's just all 414 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 3: I've experienced in my life. 415 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,640 Speaker 2: And so I think a. 416 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 3: Big part of my twenty twenty six is going to 417 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 3: be trying to release that negative relationship that I have 418 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 3: with food based on you know, guilt and fear and 419 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,600 Speaker 3: associating my need to work out based on why. 420 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,879 Speaker 2: I eat, Like that's just not normal. 421 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 3: And so yes, I stress ee, and I'm still working 422 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 3: on my relationship with food, and I will let you 423 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 3: know how that goes and how I navigate that this year. 424 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: Okay, a couple of self love questions. How do you 425 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 1: stop doubting yourself and practice self love? 426 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 3: I'll give a short answer to this because I think 427 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 3: a lot of it comes with what I've said before, 428 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,959 Speaker 3: But my short answer would be, do and give yourself 429 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 3: the evidence. Like just as you would fall in love 430 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,360 Speaker 3: with someone seeing their actions in the same way, you're 431 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,679 Speaker 3: only going to love yourself by showing yourself that you 432 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,880 Speaker 3: put your money where your mouth is, put all your 433 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 3: cards on the table, you know, whatever, all those phrases are. 434 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 3: What I'm trying to say is you have to take action, 435 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,880 Speaker 3: show yourself the evidence that you are worth the love 436 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 3: that you want to give yourself, and just keep doing that. Honestly, 437 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 3: it feels more complicated than it actually is. The reality 438 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,440 Speaker 3: is how you'd want to fall in love with someone 439 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 3: is how you have to take the steps to fall 440 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 3: in love with yourself. 441 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:21,199 Speaker 1: Okay, speaking directly to me, cool, thank you. Speaking of dating, 442 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 1: someone had a specific question, how do you start ruminating 443 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: over an ex after more than six months? 444 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 3: Really depends how long you've been dating them for and 445 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 3: sometimes some relationships, you know, I always think of this 446 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:41,200 Speaker 3: word some scaa, and it means little footprints, and it's 447 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 3: in regards to little footprints that are left in your 448 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 3: heart or in your body or in your mind of 449 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 3: the experiences that you've been through, And if you think 450 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 3: about it in that way, depending on how much of 451 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 3: an imprint this person has had in your life, whether 452 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,479 Speaker 3: it was a difficult relationship, whether it was one that 453 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 3: was filled with so much love that it's really difficult 454 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 3: to let that go. 455 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 2: There are so many reasons why someone may leave a deep. 456 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 3: Imprint into your life, and from my experience, I think 457 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 3: we kid ourselves into believing that if someone has left 458 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,239 Speaker 3: that deepened imprint in your life, that you are just 459 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 3: going to forget them, that they're going to leave your 460 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 3: mind and you're never going to think about them ever again. 461 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 3: If that does happen, it's probably a sign that you 462 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 3: didn't really love them much in the first place. And 463 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 3: so I think it's okay to hold space, not full space, 464 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 3: but still to hold space for people that you've loved 465 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 3: along the way, just like we would have people who've 466 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 3: passed away in our life, just like we would have 467 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,719 Speaker 3: people you know, friends that you no longer I have 468 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 3: friends that I no longer speak to you, haven't spoken 469 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 3: to you for ten years, but when I think about them, 470 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 3: I think about them so fondly, and same with past relationships, 471 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,679 Speaker 3: and so I don't necessarily think that you have to 472 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 3: fully let go. I think what you do have to 473 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 3: do is separate the space that you're keeping for them, 474 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 3: maybe minimize the space that you're keeping for them, to 475 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 3: allow space for someone else to enter. I think waiting 476 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,400 Speaker 3: for someone to completely leave. 477 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 2: Our mind, leave our heart. 478 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,040 Speaker 3: And only then I'll be able to move on, And 479 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 3: I'd actually think it might be unrealistic thing because from 480 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,359 Speaker 3: everyone I've spoken to in my girlfriends, it's absolutely impossible. 481 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,200 Speaker 3: They're still randomly will bring up their ex's name. They'll 482 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 3: still randomly talk about them, and that's part of relationships 483 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 3: in our life. 484 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,439 Speaker 2: So I don't know that's helpful. 485 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know whether it's realistic to completely, 486 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 3: you know, shut shut down and shut off from a 487 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 3: love that you had. 488 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 1: That's so helpful. Okay, last question in this category and 489 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,119 Speaker 1: then we'll move on to the last category. How do 490 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: you deal with self sabotage limiting beliefs and or struggling 491 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: with confidence. 492 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 2: Self sabotage? Sorry? 493 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 3: Can I just say, it's like turning dark here and 494 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 3: it's only four twenty seven, and everyone, look, I have 495 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 3: my my phone is in Gajurai. Well basically it's my 496 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 3: grandparents underneath. And then I thought it's nice to have 497 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 3: Gajurai on the over the top because my grandma and 498 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 3: Grandad's poke Gauri. Anyway, four thirty, it's turning dark here 499 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 3: and as soon as I see the sun settling, my 500 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,440 Speaker 3: body wants to shut down again. 501 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 2: How do I deal with self sabotage. What was the 502 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 2: other one? Yep, yep and yep. I don't know whether that's. 503 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 3: Similar to what I've already said about the building confidence. 504 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 3: A big part of it is, honestly, like, you have 505 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 3: to believe that you deserve more. And the only way 506 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 3: you can believe you deserve more is by starting to 507 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,800 Speaker 3: notice all the incredible things about yourself. And that's not 508 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,320 Speaker 3: in an egotistical way. It can be in a wow, God, 509 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 3: it's given me all these gifts. The universe have given me, 510 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,440 Speaker 3: all these gifts. 511 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 2: That I have. 512 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,640 Speaker 3: How do I emphasize them? How do I expand them? 513 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 3: How do I show appreciation for them? That's the way 514 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 3: I got over it, honestly, by not seeing all the 515 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 3: things that have come into my life as mine, but 516 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 3: as like, Wow, what a gift, what a blessing that 517 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 3: these things are the qualities I have, even when it 518 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 3: comes to things like you know, for so much in 519 00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 3: my life, and I'll be really honest if for so 520 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 3: much of life I used to be get told, oh my. 521 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 2: God, your eyes, this your eyes, Your eyes, your eyes. 522 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,600 Speaker 2: That's all I heard from a young age. 523 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 3: Because it's not common for people who are my skin 524 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 3: tone to have these eyes, And I used to think, Oh, 525 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 3: my god, what is the big deal when I was younger, 526 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 3: and then I realized they ended up becoming a topic 527 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,199 Speaker 3: of conversation. And then I realized I was like, you 528 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 3: can either we can get ego about something like this, 529 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 3: or you can say, Wow, what beautiful, what a blessing 530 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 3: is I've received this in my life. How can I 531 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 3: use this in a way that's actually going to be useful? 532 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 3: How can I use this in a way that can 533 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 3: And whether it's your physical features, whether it's your mental 534 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 3: whether it's your mind and your intelligence, whether it's there's 535 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 3: so many things in our life that we get and 536 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 3: so one is starting to notice it, even if it 537 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 3: feels really egotistical, like it took me such a long 538 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 3: time for me to be like, oh, yeah, I guess 539 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,919 Speaker 3: I like my eyes. I still feel weird saying it, 540 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 3: and then number one noticing it and then thinking not, oh, 541 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 3: this is mine and I deserve to have it, But 542 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 3: how grateful am I? And how can I utilize this 543 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 3: and appreciate it? 544 00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 2: And what does that look like? 545 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 3: A lot of the time we set sabotage because we 546 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,239 Speaker 3: don't have appreciation for what we have and so I 547 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 3: think the first step is recognizing what we have, and 548 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 3: the second step is showing appreciation for it, and then 549 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 3: we're less likely to self sabotage. 550 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 2: That makes sense. Spirituality. 551 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 1: Question, what mantra do you constantly go to in times 552 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 1: of uncertainty? 553 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 3: I'm assuming you mean like a like a phrase rather 554 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 3: than the mantra chance. So I'm going to say I 555 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 3: have a few. One is this too shall pass? 556 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 2: I love that so much. 557 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 3: Nothing you can't handle will come before you. I have 558 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 3: a deep belief in that. And drink quarter remind your business. 559 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 2: That's about it. 560 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: How do you honor the memory of your grammar throughout 561 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,320 Speaker 1: your days? 562 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,120 Speaker 2: One way I do is why I just showed you guys. 563 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 3: I have a picture of my grandma and granddad as 564 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 3: my background on my phone, and that makes me so happy, 565 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 3: Like seeing her every single day. 566 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 2: Makes me so happy. 567 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 3: I have I'm looking at it now, A whole board 568 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 3: that's filled with all of her incredible achievements and pictures 569 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 3: of her when she was younger and newspaper clippings that 570 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,159 Speaker 3: she was in. Keeps her in the forefront of my 571 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,920 Speaker 3: mind every single day. This probably not a day that 572 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 3: goes by without me thinking of her, And I love 573 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 3: that so much because then that means I think about 574 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 3: who she was, her qualities, and then I think about 575 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 3: how I want to Even subconsciously, I'm thinking how can 576 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 3: I embody her through my life? And I always used 577 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 3: to say this to people when they lost their grandparents 578 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,439 Speaker 3: or lost anybody in their life that you know, like 579 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 3: their parents or grandparents. 580 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 2: I would say, just know that. 581 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 3: Even though they're not here physically, you carry them every 582 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 3: single day in who you are, in the person that 583 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 3: you choose to be every single day, in the qualities 584 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,160 Speaker 3: that you have, in the way that you love others, 585 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 3: you have the opportunity to literally carry them with you. 586 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,680 Speaker 3: And so I always remember the way that my grandma 587 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:56,120 Speaker 3: loved on people like so much, and so I think 588 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 3: that's what I really try to try to bring about 589 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,680 Speaker 3: in my day. 590 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: Lovely Okay, last category rapid fire and you actually have 591 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,680 Speaker 1: to do a rapid fire Okay, one, two, three, guilty pleasure. 592 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 2: Pizza. 593 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: How many tattoos do you have? I don't know, tiny 594 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: micro tattoos at least like twenty. What do you miss 595 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 1: most about Europe? 596 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 2: The weather? I don't care what you will say. 597 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: What do you use for shampoon conditioner right now, A 598 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,719 Speaker 1: Vada favorite blush right now? 599 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 3: Oh say they have these dewby drop things and also 600 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 3: oh lift tinted. 601 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: Favorite? Are you ada? Spice beyond ccf Assid Fatida gives 602 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,600 Speaker 1: me all the flavor. What's your favorite most favorite meal? 603 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 2: My Mom's anything? My mother makes me last one. 604 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 1: What's the simple thing that brings you unexpected joy? 605 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 2: Unexpected joy? 606 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 3: You know what I'm looking at right now, a sunset 607 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 3: and it's giving me so much unexpected joy. 608 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 2: Actually that's expected. What's unexpected joy? 609 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 3: Uk rap uk rap music gives me unexpected joy, you know, 610 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 3: and seeing me. 611 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: Every single day so much joy. 612 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for those questions. We're actually so 613 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 3: meaningful and made me reflect on so much in my 614 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 3: own life. 615 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you. 616 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 3: Sending all so much love and yeah, have a wonderful day.