1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: Want to position yourself for career success, master the Fundamentals 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: of Business with hb X Core, a three course online 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: program developed by Harvard Business School faculty. Immerse yourself in 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: real world case studies as you dive into business analytics, 5 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: economics for Managers, and financial accounting. The three courses that 6 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: Harvard Business School faculty determined were essential to becoming fluent 7 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: in the languages of business. Boost your resume, grow your network, 8 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: and advance your career with the hb X Core credential 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: from hb X and Harvard Business School. To learn more, 10 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: visit about hb X dot com slash how Stuff Works. 11 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind from how Stuff 12 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: Works dot com. Hey, welcome to stuff to Blow your Mind. 13 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: My name is Robert Lam and I'm Christian Sager. Robert weird. Questions. 14 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: Are you an only child? No, I have two younger sisters. 15 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: I'm the eldest child. But I thought you had a stare. 16 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: But you have to They they split since I last 17 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: heard about them. Now there's two of them. Yeah, there 18 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: there are, each with their own, you know, separate personalities. 19 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, how about yourself? I actually have the 20 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: reason why I did the split. Thing is I have 21 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: a twin brother and sister. I'm not a twin of them. 22 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: They are twins and they're ten years younger than me. Um, 23 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: they were adopted, so I was ten years old when 24 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,919 Speaker 1: they were adopted, and so I was an only child 25 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: for the first ten years of my life. Well, actually 26 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: we my parents fostered a couple of kids before they 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: adopted my brother and sister, and then they adopted my 28 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: brother and sister and it's been now now we're all adults. Okay, 29 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: So so you have a little bit of the the 30 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: only child experience. Yeah, I definitely, like the first ten 31 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: years of my life, I remember adults making only child 32 00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: cracks at yeah, like jokes, not teachers, but more like 33 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: family friends are like aunts and uncles and stuff like that, 34 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: saying stuff like oh you better watch out, like the 35 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 1: he's going to grow up to be an only child 36 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: or something like uh. But I don't know, I've always 37 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: had a different experience with that term than I guess 38 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: what the stereotype is. Maybe, Yeah, Like I definitely remember 39 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: growing and this is not something where where it was 40 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: like even like my parents saying it or specific teachers, 41 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: like I can't remember like anybody really pushing the only 42 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: child syndrome agenda. But I feel like it was definitely 43 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: out there in the culture, this idea that if there's 44 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: a family and they have only one child, that child 45 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: is going to be a nightmare. That child is going 46 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: to be spoiled, they're gonna be a brat, they're gonna 47 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: be and it's and you'd certainly see it to varying 48 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: degrees in popular media. You do. And let's be honest too, 49 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: as adults now and I'm absolutely guilty of this. There 50 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: are people that I meet in life and I go, oh, 51 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: they must be an only child. Yeah, it's such a 52 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 1: predominant nare you end up summoning it, even even if 53 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: you don't logically agree with it, even if you're not, 54 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: you don't apply much thought to it. Yeah it is. 55 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: It's weird. Like so all right, I guess we should 56 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: spell it out if if people are unfamiliar with this, 57 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: although from what the research said, it's pretty much common 58 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: in every culture. It's not just an American thing, which 59 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 1: is something I learned for this episode. But the idea 60 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: here is that only children end up being selfish and lonely. 61 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 1: U they're maladjusted and they end up being loners. Uh. 62 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: And the other thing is that they're overprivileged and overly intellectual. 63 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: Uh So that's a little or or or not or 64 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: not that intellectual, according to at least one variant of 65 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: the myth that we'll get into. Okay, that's a little 66 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: different from what I always assumed the stereotype was, which 67 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: was I guess I always had it in my head 68 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: that the only children were less conscious of social cues, 69 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: and they subsequently talked too much in conversation, and they 70 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: usually talked a lot about themselves. They're sort of noxiously 71 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 1: self confident. That's what I thought it was. And I 72 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: guess like after looking at the research and how like, 73 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: at the beginning of every article on only child studies, 74 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: they had to sort of explain, well, here's the myth, 75 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: and here's how we debunk it. I've been living a lie, 76 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: like my version of the only child. I gotta come 77 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: up with a new name for these people, uh, like Singleton's. 78 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: I saw that term a lot. Is that one them Singleton's? 79 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: Or maybe I just shouldn't generalize as much, Yeah, because 80 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: that's what ultimately way it comes down to generalizations and 81 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: stereotypes regarding Singleton's And I also have to add on 82 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: this that that my son is an only child. So 83 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: so a lot of this is not only me looking back. 84 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: I'm like these ideas that were predominant, uh, in the 85 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,160 Speaker 1: culture growing up, but also like how I look at 86 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: my own son and I and I find myself. I've 87 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: I've over the past, um, you know, four years, I've 88 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: had to sort of push down some of these narratives 89 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 1: in the back of my mind, saying, Oh, he's gonna 90 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: maybe should have should have a second child so I 91 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: have someone to talk to, or oh, you know he's 92 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: I sure hope he's not a spoiled brat because he's 93 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: the only one wh's getting all this attention blah blah 94 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 1: blah and uh and so yeah, this episode is about 95 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: exploring this idea where it came from, and looking at 96 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: what the research has to tell us about not only 97 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: only children in Western culture, but we're also going to 98 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: get into a little bit about the so called little 99 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: Emperors of China, especially like what happens when an entire 100 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,360 Speaker 1: society is forced to have only children whatever repercussions. Yeah, 101 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 1: and and indeed, how do you even study that? I 102 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: would like, before we get into this. I have hung 103 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: out with your kid a number of times, and I 104 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: never got the sense that he's got quote unquote only 105 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: child syndrome. So I hope nobody's telling you that. Well, yeah, 106 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: it's one of those things where, to come back to 107 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: a previous episode on on the Barnum Effect, you can 108 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: always sort of pick and choose what aspects of a 109 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: generalization you want to apply and so, and that's what 110 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: I find myself doing, Like I'll be around like when 111 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: you mentioned about oh, well, you know, maybe single children 112 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: or more outgoing and a little obnoxious, and they talked 113 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: too much. Like instantly, I'm checking those some of those 114 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: things off in my head. I'm like, oh wow, Baston 115 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: never shuts up. He talks all the time. I had 116 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: so much confidence. But he's a little He's a little 117 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: that's the thing. He's Yeah. So if you had said 118 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,280 Speaker 1: the stereotypis other a little bit shy sometimes and I 119 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: would be like, oh, yeah, just shy the other day. 120 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: So exactly, there's a lot of different ways you could 121 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: apply it to sort of like fulfill your own prophecy 122 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: about exactly when it means well, yeah, I mean, so 123 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: it's interesting that you brought up to like the the 124 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,719 Speaker 1: idea of the social pressure because every article we read 125 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: for this, So you have a son and I have 126 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: no children, and I just immediately was like, wow, I 127 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 1: had no idea how much pressure there is on parents 128 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 1: one way or the other, whether you have an only 129 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: child or you have more than one child, Like you're 130 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: doing something wrong in society is telling you about it constantly, right, 131 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: I didn't realize that. Oh yeah, you know that's I 132 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: think that's something that a parent has to come to 133 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: terms with pretty early, is yeah. And I imagine it's 134 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: similar with any kind of responsibility, Like, um, like I 135 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: don't own a dog, but I know there are lots 136 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: of voices on dog ownership. This is the right way, No, 137 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: this is the right way. This is the wrong way. 138 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: If you're doing this, then you're just a complete monster. 139 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: It's similar with children. Yeah, yeah, oh certainly. I mean 140 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: listeners probably have heard me talk about my dogs before. 141 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: I have two pit bull mixes, and I've taken one 142 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: of them through uh what is like certification behavioral training, right, 143 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: and it was extreme for what I thought. And then 144 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: like we we've started taking our second pit bull to 145 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: a different place for training, and we realized, oh, there's 146 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 1: entirely different methodologies, just like there are with parenting, uh 147 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: for training your dog. Um. Yeah, and it like one 148 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: was more strict and like you beat the alpha, right, 149 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: and then like the other one is more like, you know, 150 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: focus oriented and positive reinforcement. Yeah, so it seems like 151 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: there's some some common ground there. Now. We mentioned earlier 152 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: that we have all these different Singleton's, these different only 153 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: children in popular media and our stories and our movies 154 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: and our fictions, and how those kind of informed this 155 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: really this this kind of conflicting notion that either only 156 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: children are the worst or the absolute best, like it's 157 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: on the spoiled brat end of the spectrum. Verukas Sault 158 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: from Charlie and the chocola factor instantly comes to mind. 159 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: That's true. Although all right, I'm trying to remember now 160 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: it's been a while since I've seen it. I know 161 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: Charlie's grandparents hang out in bed all day. But does 162 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: he have siblings? I think that he, if I'm remembering quickly, 163 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: he might be only child as well. But he's you know, 164 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: growing up in this crowded household. And so that okay, 165 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: that right there speaks more to what we're going to 166 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: find out in the in the research, the Charlie and 167 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: the Chocolate Factory syndrome, which is Charlie is better adjusted 168 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 1: in the movie or in the book because of his 169 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: socio economic situation, and the rook assault is not because 170 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: she's spoiled. She's spoiled because of her socioeconomic situation, right, 171 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: not necessarily because she's an only child, although from the 172 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: research it's the other way around. It seems like, Yeah, 173 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: you know, another another popular media thing that came up 174 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: when I was looking around is Harry Potter like virtually 175 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,439 Speaker 1: all the children, not not all of them, and you, 176 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: you Potter experts, can correct me on this, but we 177 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: certainly are the weaklies. There are certainly not only children, 178 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: but a lot of the characters are both the really 179 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: awful villainous ones um but also the heroes, Harry himself. 180 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: So we see this conflicting idea, and I wonder to 181 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: what extent is this. Yeah, we're echoing these ideas and 182 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: expectations of only children, but maybe there's this in creating 183 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: a narrative, it's easier to not figure out what their 184 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: sibling relationships are, or there's like this desire from those 185 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: of us who are not only children to look, I 186 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: can have either you know, have all the positives or 187 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 1: the negatives of being a child and having these relationships 188 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: with parents. Have it all focused on you. Well, like 189 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: any good myth. As we've talked about on the show before, 190 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: it seems that the only child syndrome myth has spawned 191 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: an archetype. And I imagine that there's been plenty of 192 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: things that have been written in the last hundred years, 193 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: but probably even further back than that, because this, like 194 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: as we'll find out that this is a cultural idea 195 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 1: that has deep roots. And I think that, you know, 196 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 1: it seems that these uh writers or maybe subconsciously adding 197 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: that trope in, whether they know it or not. Yeah, 198 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: I think that that sounds reasonable. Who else we got 199 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: on the list? You've got, of course, Damien from the Omen. Yeah, 200 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: if only Damien's parents had just had another kid, they 201 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: can fix it, right, that's the thinking. Yeah, I feel 202 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: like a lot of horror movie characters, Jason Vorhees, Norman Bates, 203 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 1: I think, and again I wonder how much of that 204 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: is like just an expression of how little thought goes 205 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: into the character development of a monstrous human character where 206 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 1: they say like, oh, and he had a mixedtep thing 207 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 1: with his mom, or and his mom is a witch 208 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: or something, and then someone might ask what about his siblings? 209 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: And I haven't got time for that. Let's we've got 210 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,839 Speaker 1: blood effects of the panel. Watched Bates Motel at all? 211 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: I haven't, but I understand they introduce a sibling. Yeah 212 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: in that show. Yeah, I I only watched a little 213 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: bit of the first season, but I'm pretty sure there's 214 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: a like half brother or something like that in there. Yeah, 215 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 1: that that matches up with what I was seeing in 216 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: the research. But apparently in the original we get the 217 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: sense that he's plase. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a 218 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: couple of stats that I want to run through before 219 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: we dive into more on only children, sort of setting 220 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: us up for that, like what we were talking about 221 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: regarding like parents and expectations, at least here in the 222 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: United States. According to a New York Times piece that 223 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: we referenced a very like deep dive into the only 224 00:11:55,880 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: child syndrome philosophy, one in five American fan Lee's has 225 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 1: just one child. So that's far less than I would 226 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: have thought. And according to a Time magazine article. The 227 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 1: U s Department of Agriculture reports that in the US 228 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: get this, each child cost their parents around two hundred 229 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: and eighty six thousand and fifty dollars before college on average. 230 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 1: You know, I don't have kids, So I hear that 231 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: and I go, ah, like that's a lot. I hear 232 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: that and go walk. Yeah, but you're probably aware of 233 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: it more over time, right, like educational costs, food whatever. Yeah. Yeah, 234 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: I mean it's certainly it's it's like a daily reality 235 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: of But what I immediately think is like, how does 236 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: anybody afford to have more than one child? You know, 237 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: Like I have friends who have like three, four kids, 238 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: and I'm like, how are you doing that? Like who's 239 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 1: paying the bills? Are you just horribly in debt? You know? Well, 240 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: you know it's it's part of the whole switch wishing too, 241 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 1: is you we live in this age where people are 242 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: making choices about their family structure and their size of 243 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 1: their family. You know that thanks to thanks to the 244 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: use of contraceptives of course, and then of course other 245 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: modes of of building a family such as adoption. Uh, 246 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 1: you know, you make distinct choices and what that the 247 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: number of children is going to be whereas you know, 248 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: based on the researchers I was looking at here the 249 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 1: like the older model, and pretty much everywhere was you 250 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: just had kids until you could not have them anymore, 251 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 1: you know. And it wasn't a choice of like how 252 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: many how many children do you think you'll have? No, 253 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 1: it's it's just until they stopped coming out. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um. 254 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 1: In fact, one of the things that's been noticed is 255 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: that in modern society, single child families spike when there's 256 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 1: economic downturns, like for instance, that Time article was written 257 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: during the recession, so they're seeing a big spike in 258 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: people who are saying like, that's it, like just one 259 00:13:56,679 --> 00:14:00,120 Speaker 1: kid is enough for us. Um. And the reason is 260 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: why parents usually have a second child. This was when 261 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 1: I really got into that uh social pressure thing that 262 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,080 Speaker 1: I wasn't aware of. So usually they say it's for 263 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: their first child so the first child won't be lonely. 264 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 1: But other parents say they do it because they love 265 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: their first child so much they want to experience that 266 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: love all over again. They want the full experience. And 267 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: I've heard that from some of my friends. Yeah, yeah, 268 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: I think about that every day too, because it will 269 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 1: be this thing that you love in your current relationship 270 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: with your child, and you know that's gonna go away 271 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: at some point, and then you know who's gonna you know, 272 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: who's gonna who's gonna snuggle, who's gonna you know, who's 273 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: gonna play Legos with you? You know, and you're like, oh, 274 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 1: I've got to have that again. I guess the second 275 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 1: child is the right choice. And then, of course some 276 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 1: religions advocate against birth control, so you end up with 277 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: a lot more kids. Like my friends back in Boston 278 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: who are Catholic, they come from families where they've got 279 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: like eight ten siblings or something like that, because that's 280 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: just kind of the norm um. But then there's this 281 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: one from Science Daily that I read. Check this out. 282 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: Some people say they have only one kid to prevent 283 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: carbon pollution, and I've never heard that before, But there's 284 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: a two thousand and eight study in Global Environmental Change 285 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: that found that an American can prevent twenty times more 286 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: carbon pollution by having one fewer child then they can 287 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: by adapting eco friendly habits for the rest of their life. 288 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: Well that's that that to me. I don't know, I 289 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,119 Speaker 1: can't speak for everybody that does sound like a wonderful 290 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 1: fact to pull out in in retrospect. I guess, yeah, 291 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: it's it seems a bit extreme. Yeah, a lifestyle choice, 292 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: but I mean it's it's you can certainly put it 293 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: on the pro list. You do pros and right, I 294 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 1: can say, like now I can say, oh, that's why 295 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: I don't have kids. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm saying it's 296 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: my carbon footprint. Yeah, it's for the my read on it, 297 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: and every the thing is because everybody is different. Everyone 298 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 1: walks into the situation with the same with it with 299 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: a different with differ and ideas and different expectations. But 300 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: I feel like there's so many different pressures, some that 301 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: you're you're aware of and some that are just kind 302 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 1: of in the ether of your culture that are informing 303 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 1: your decision. That it's that's it's difficult to nail it 304 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: down to just one thing, you know, Oh yeah, absolutely, 305 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 1: I mean just looking at all these different reasons, you know, 306 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: I I imagine that we have listeners out there right 307 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: now who are screaming at their podcasts saying, wait, wait, wait, no, 308 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: my reason is this. You know, there's got to be 309 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: an infinity of reasons. But we try to make sense 310 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: of it right and packages well, this is like, well, 311 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 1: one thing that comes up with me a lot is um, 312 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: so my son is is adopted from China, and so 313 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: people will say, oh, why did you decide to adopt 314 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: a child from China? And like the answer to that 315 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: question is not like it just a succinct. Oh well 316 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: the reason A, B, and C, Like the reasons change 317 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: the the it's a learning experience, as should go through 318 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: that that process. And uh, and I imagine this is 319 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: the same with with bio babies and other forms of 320 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: acquiring children, building families, etcetera. Is that you may go 321 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 1: into it with one idea, but those ideas are going 322 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: to evolve, and even after you've made your decision, you're 323 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 1: gonna have new information that's coloring whine you made that decision. 324 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 1: So it's difficult to boil it all down with something 325 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 1: as majorly complex as being a parent. Yeah, of course 326 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: there's gonna be multiple reasons. Um In Pew who does 327 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: They're they're the masters of surveys that we're always setting 328 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 1: them on this show that is Survey and American Motherhood. 329 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: And forty six percent of the adults that they interviewed 330 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: said that two children was the ideal number of children 331 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: for a home, which struck me as interesting because I 332 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,440 Speaker 1: guess it brings us back to the idea of like 333 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: the atomic family. Yeah, um so at one point five 334 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: or the two point five one point Yeah, I think 335 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 1: it is one point five, which always gives me like 336 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:57,640 Speaker 1: a fallout franchise vision of like the mutated child with well, 337 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: that was you and me too, because we grew up 338 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 1: during the Old War, right, so that of course made sense. 339 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 1: It's probably different now. But get this, Only three percent 340 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 1: of the people in the survey said that one child 341 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 1: was ideal, and only three percent said that zero children 342 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 1: were ideal. So that strikes me as and it definitely 343 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,480 Speaker 1: doesn't play out when you think of Okay, so the 344 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: New York Times piece said there's one in five families 345 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 1: just have one child, but three percent say one child 346 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 1: is ideal. Those numbers don't line up. Yeah, alright, So 347 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: let's get into the Western idea of the spoiled brat, 348 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: the the only child that is also a problem child. 349 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: It's it's fascinating when we start breaking this down to say, 350 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 1: where does this idea really come from? Because certainly, as 351 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 1: we discussed it in the Old days, you just always 352 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: choice wasn't really an option. You just had as many 353 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 1: children as what's going to happen for the most part. 354 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 1: So where does this idea that the choice to have 355 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,880 Speaker 1: an only child is a bad idea? Turns out it's 356 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,439 Speaker 1: one person. But we're gonna we can blame it all 357 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: and what well, now we can't blame it all in guy, 358 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: but one we can attribute a lot of this one 359 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 1: And he sort of had a following. And his name 360 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: was Granville Stanley Hall. Yeah, this was more than a 361 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: century ago. He is and he's he's he was a 362 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: rather big deal. He established one of the first American 363 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: psychology research labs, and he was a leader of the 364 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 1: uh you know, the child study movement. Yeah, this is 365 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:29,679 Speaker 1: yet again like another like historical look at psychology's early days. 366 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: It's we did a lot of things the wrong way 367 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: with psychology is that discipline without any real methodology. Yeah, yeah, 368 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 1: well that's the problem here. So so Granville Stanley Hall, 369 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,360 Speaker 1: he actually established a network of study groups around America 370 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 1: that we're called hall clubs. That sounds sounds funny. We 371 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: got hall club on Tuesday, uh, And it was where 372 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 1: his teachings about only children were spread. Now, keep in 373 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:58,639 Speaker 1: mind Hall's research practices where nothing like ours are today. 374 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: So the instance, if he were to publish one of 375 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,120 Speaker 1: these things as a paper, it wouldn't go through peer reviews, 376 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 1: it wouldn't not meet the criteria that we would expect 377 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 1: it to now. In particular, his eighteen nineties six study 378 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,920 Speaker 1: came out titled A Study of Peculiar and Exceptional Children, 379 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: which sounds like a delightful young adult title. It sounds 380 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: like a tim if you like that Tim Burton movie there. Yeah, 381 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: So in this work he profiled a number of only 382 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 1: child misfits and without any credible research practices in place. Uh. 383 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: One of the quotes from it is quote, being an 384 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 1: only child is a disease in itself. Uh. And he's apparent. 385 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: Apparently he was drawing in like a lot of this 386 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: was this was a time when you know, there's a 387 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:46,199 Speaker 1: lot of movement into cities and the the the the 388 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: country lifestyle sort of fading away, and he was very 389 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 1: nostalgic about that and very opposed to change in urbanization. 390 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,640 Speaker 1: And uh, but but here's the thing. This this idea 391 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 1: that the only child is a disease in itself, it 392 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: penetrated mainstream. It made it, it made the headlines. This 393 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: is one of those examples where it made its way 394 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: into the larger culture, into the atmosphere of culture. And 395 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,439 Speaker 1: subsequent attempts to discredit Stanley's work in the decades to follow, 396 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: like none of none of these discrediting studies, UM exploded 397 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: quite as well as his did, and his remained at 398 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: the dominant narrative, and to a certain extent, remains the 399 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: dominant narrative despite all these studies that have come out 400 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 1: and and and continue to continue to get to discussed 401 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,199 Speaker 1: and you know, in major podcasts, that get published in 402 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 1: major publications to say, actually, there's nothing to back this up. Yeah, 403 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 1: in fact, we're gonna look at it later. But there 404 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,640 Speaker 1: were studies from nine until the eighties that were constantly 405 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 1: saying this wasn't true, and none of them could break 406 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: through the archetype. It was just too prevalent um. But 407 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 1: and for me, like, I go, surely it can't all 408 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: be this one guy, But it seems like according so 409 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: I looked around. Uh, there's a California State University at 410 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: Dominguez Hills researcher named Adrianne Mansilla's and she says, yeah, 411 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:15,400 Speaker 1: it's totally cross cultural. It's everywhere. It's from Estonia to Brazil. 412 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,479 Speaker 1: And and why we'll think about it, It's exactly what 413 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 1: you tied it back to, right when you think about 414 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: people needing bigger families to farm their land or to 415 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,640 Speaker 1: to work as part of the family unit and care 416 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: for the parents as they got old, exactly. Yeah, that's 417 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: a big part of it too, and then industrialization threatens that. 418 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 1: So I can absolutely see why that became the prevalent narrative. 419 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 1: In fact, one of the lead researchers that we're going 420 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 1: to talk about later in the episode said that the 421 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,879 Speaker 1: only reasons why families used to stop at one child 422 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: was due to death, divorce, or medical reasons like they 423 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:56,399 Speaker 1: physically couldn't have children. Yeah, basically active god. Yeah, okay, 424 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: So why don't we take a quick break and then 425 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,520 Speaker 1: we're gonna turn our site. It's over to China and 426 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 1: it's one child policy. Alright, we're back alright, So just 427 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: to refresh on the one child policy, um so, China's 428 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,639 Speaker 1: population increased by four million people between n and nineteen 429 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 1: seventy six. As such, following the death of Malsatong, the 430 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 1: People's Republic of China instituted its one child policy in 431 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,439 Speaker 1: the late nineteen seventies in order to ensure that quote 432 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,560 Speaker 1: the fruits of economic growth are not devoured by population growth. 433 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: Population was swelling urban centers especially, and this is something 434 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,879 Speaker 1: that's virtually never stopped. So it seemed like, you know, 435 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 1: in a way a reasonable solution, right, you just ask 436 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: everyone to or ask you tell everyone to have only 437 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 1: one child and it will keep the numbers. Yeah. So um, 438 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 1: this became the policy, the one child policy, and it 439 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: it ended in two following a relaxation of the rules 440 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 1: and previous years. So it didn't apply to ethnic minorities, 441 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,879 Speaker 1: and of course there are several ethnic numerous ethnic minorities 442 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,920 Speaker 1: in the People's Republic of China. And also I believe 443 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: in recent years one child parents, parents who were themselves 444 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: Singleton's were permitted to have to it's right. Yeah, there 445 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: were exceptions, uh. And the way that this worked was 446 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: from nineteen seventy nine onward, it was enforced, especially in 447 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 1: urban areas, mainly by using economic incentives. Right, So there 448 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 1: were benefits to your family if you if you stayed 449 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: with the only child policy. In twenty eleven, Chinese officials 450 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 1: actually excited data. And I don't know if this is 451 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,120 Speaker 1: accurate or not, but this is what came from the government, 452 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 1: and it said that this policy had prevented four hundred 453 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,200 Speaker 1: million birds. So you know there is some I mean, 454 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: I guess if you look at it in a very 455 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,800 Speaker 1: logical manner, you can say, okay, well, those are four 456 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 1: hundred million less mouths to feed. And of course it 457 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 1: it plays into the what was the quote up there, 458 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: the fruits of economic growth or not devoured by population growth. Okay, 459 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: and I've seen that statu UH as low as two 460 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 1: d fifty million, but that's two fifty million people. So 461 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: that at a very like basic mathematical level, you can say, 462 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: all right, well that that was successful. Um, so obviously 463 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 1: we we could devote an entire episode to the fallout 464 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: of China's one child policy. The policy was was always controversial, 465 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:34,439 Speaker 1: and you can find arguments for it against it. I 466 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: mean really they're different, different pros and constant lineup on 467 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: both sides depending on who you talk to. UH. Fertility 468 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: certainly decline more rapidly than it otherwise would have. We 469 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 1: already talked about the stats two hundred million averted births, 470 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: but and it also resulted in an age demographic divide 471 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,240 Speaker 1: that may have contributed to one quarter of its sizable 472 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 1: economic growth, But at the same time, it meant a 473 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: skewed sex ratio. You had ended up having more more 474 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 1: boys than girls, and it means that there's an aging 475 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 1: population with fewer young people to care for them. They 476 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,239 Speaker 1: were certainly there were certainly negative fallout, as one might 477 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: expect of any large scale social policy. There were fines, 478 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:19,120 Speaker 1: there were punishments. There are accounts of quote unquote forced abortions, 479 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: and all of this made the policy a source of 480 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 1: public discontent. Um. They're all additional um you know, accounts 481 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:31,679 Speaker 1: of female and fanticide, of abandonment, et cetera. Those are 482 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,919 Speaker 1: the horror stories that I think we hear over hear 483 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: them most often, which is like, uh, some poor young 484 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 1: woman has had a second child. What does she do? 485 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 1: She has to kill her own child because of this law. 486 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 1: That's the like the horror story version of it. Yeah, 487 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: I mean, and it kind of goes back to our 488 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,280 Speaker 1: episode on Wicked Problems, right, because when you look at 489 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 1: any kind of attempt to change something, to alter some 490 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: sort of problem in society, um, such as population was 491 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,400 Speaker 1: like any like large scale solution, it's going to spiral 492 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: off additional problems. And I'm not I'm not I don't 493 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: want to come off as an apologist for for the 494 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: the one child policy here, but it um, I guess 495 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to see it at different levels, Like 496 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,919 Speaker 1: you can certainly see it at the individual level, but 497 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 1: then like trying to understand it. Is this some macro 498 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,640 Speaker 1: response to perceived threats. Yeah, it's certainly like an incredibly 499 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,120 Speaker 1: complex thing. And and as we're going to discover from 500 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: the research that's been done in the last couple of years, 501 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: it's not as simple as just treating a community as 502 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,400 Speaker 1: large as China's population as like a single organism where 503 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: you just prescribed like one uh policy that will fix 504 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: this whole thing right at any rate, though, the ultimate 505 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: outcome here was that you had more Chinese family centered 506 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 1: around than only child. And here's where we see the 507 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 1: so called Little Emperor syndrome, particularly Chinese version of the 508 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: only child syndrome. And it's based on the idea for 509 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 1: the ones that child policy resulted in an entire generation 510 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,199 Speaker 1: of Singleton's children doated on by parents and grandparents and 511 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 1: pampered by resources that might have typically gone to multiple children. 512 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 1: They lacked siblings and therefore they lack proper socialization. This 513 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,439 Speaker 1: is big, right, Yeah, two is as well right that 514 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: they're they're going to be in a house. They're only 515 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 1: dealing with a bunch of grown ups that are just 516 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 1: pampering to their every need. Then they and they also 517 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: the idea here is they lack not only siblings but 518 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: also cousins, and this is gonna eventually spiral out into 519 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: aunts and uncles, um and and this becomes like a 520 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,479 Speaker 1: major this becomes an important idea. Like even here at 521 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: how Stuff Works, there was a there's a there's a 522 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 1: Chinese version of how stuff Works dot com. And I 523 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: remember years ago when they were talking about like the 524 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: the advantage this is like previous owners of the company. 525 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 1: They were saying, oh, well, you know this is big 526 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: because since you have this situation where there's an only 527 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 1: child with all these resources going to them, that means 528 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: there's more educational money to mean made off of them. 529 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 1: There's more, you know, there's there's more of this focused 530 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 1: attention because you have kind of like all your eggs 531 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 1: in one basket. I didn't even know that. Yeah, I've 532 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: worked here for three years. Wow, Okay, yeah, it's out there. 533 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 1: I can't remember the name of the website offhand, but 534 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 1: you look forward. They just take the content from How 535 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 1: Stuff Works and translated into Chinese. They did at the time. 536 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: I don't I don't know to what extent it's still cultivated, 537 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 1: if like new content is being translated. But I know 538 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: there there there are articles that I wrote for How 539 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 1: Stuff Works years and years ago that have like Mandarin 540 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 1: translations on this interesting website. And but it's not just 541 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 1: over here looking in. The notion of these little emperors 542 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 1: gained a lot of support in Chinese media. Chinese China Daily, 543 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: the popular publication there even dubbed the demographic as quote 544 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 1: the spoiled generation. But it was largely no empirical evidence 545 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: for this notion. So was it You have to ask, 546 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: is it was? It was? This? Is this any different 547 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: than any situation where an older generation judges the younger, 548 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 1: you know, the greatest genera ration versus the baby boomers, 549 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: versus Gen X, versus the millennials, versus whatever we're calling 550 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 1: the next group of young people that we don't understand 551 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 1: and think are horrible and destined to ruin the world. Right, Yeah, um, 552 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 1: this reminds me of my time when I was working 553 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: in academia. There was a lot of consternation about quote 554 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: unquote millennials, like we don't understand them, what do we do? 555 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 1: How do we how do we teach them? And Uh, 556 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: the university that I worked at had an expert who've 557 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: done a lot of millennial studies come in come and 558 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: give a huge presentation to like almost all the faculty 559 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: of the university and they're basically like, all the stereotypes 560 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,480 Speaker 1: that you know are wrong. There are there is data 561 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: that shows that there are things about this generation that 562 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 1: we know that we can use toward uh coming up 563 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: with strategies for teaching plans or something like that. Right, 564 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: But it was like none of the stereotypes that people 565 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 1: think of when they say millennials. Yeah, it's not a 566 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: situation where you can imagine, like to scientists dissecting a 567 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 1: millennial and they're like, oh, this is where the millennials 568 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 1: digestive juices. You know, it's like there their people and 569 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: there's a there's a vast that there's a lot of 570 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 1: difference in personality and background. And the same can be 571 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 1: said of Singleton's in in any culture, like they're going 572 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:17,360 Speaker 1: to see a lot of different personality types. However, there 573 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 1: are a few things we can say about personality UM here. 574 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: For instance, there's a lot of evidence to support the 575 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 1: idea that birth order plays a big role in the 576 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 1: manifestation of individual personality UH. For example, the paper Birth 577 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: Order effects on personality and Achievement within Families argues that quote, 578 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: across four diverse data sets, first borns were nominated as 579 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 1: most achieving and most conscientious. Later borns were nominated as 580 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: most rebellious, liberal, and agreeable. So we're talking about statistical 581 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,719 Speaker 1: generalities here, but it does raid the race the question 582 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: would would this mean that the vast social experiment of 583 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 1: China's one child policy may have helped to exclude certain 584 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 1: personality types from manifesting. That is interesting especially to think of, 585 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: like as that generation is now coming into power. So 586 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: this is one of those areas where we don't have 587 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: a lot of study to look to, and it's kind 588 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,360 Speaker 1: of it's difficult to study because, on one hand, so 589 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 1: many of these studies are dealing with Western UH one 590 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 1: child situations, and that's a little bit different from the 591 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 1: People's Republic of China, where we have essentially a one 592 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,840 Speaker 1: child family culture that's been built out of this, again 593 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: taking into account to ethnic minorities and other circumstances that 594 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 1: are in play, but it makes it difficult to have 595 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 1: proper control groups for any kind of study. Yeah, that's 596 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,480 Speaker 1: certainly true, I guess. Like so I'm just like immediately 597 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 1: popping back to my subjective experience of living in China 598 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:56,400 Speaker 1: behind these and like trying to imagine like I was 599 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,719 Speaker 1: in Beijing and trying to imagine having a family with 600 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: more than one child in the homes like that we're 601 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 1: that we're common is just like it would be next 602 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 1: to impossible again, like as an economic disadvantage, like thinking 603 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: comparing it to the American thing where I was saying 604 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 1: earlier about how much money it costs to have like 605 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: just one child in the United States, and then like 606 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 1: just thinking about like the space considerations in Beijing stuff 607 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: like that. Indeed, now, the one study that we do 608 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: have that gets into this, uh, the one that certainly 609 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 1: I was able to come across, is a two thousand 610 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,960 Speaker 1: thirteen study. Lead author is A Lisa Cameron of Monash 611 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 1: University of Melbourne, Australia, and she had co authors that 612 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 1: were also with the Australian National University and the University 613 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,480 Speaker 1: of Melbourne, and they attempted to figure out to what 614 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: degree the one shot policy impacted the personalities of China's children. 615 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,800 Speaker 1: And again this is like the pretty much the only 616 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 1: study out there, so take that into consideration. We don't 617 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: have a lot to compare this too. So that what 618 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 1: they did is they used games from experimental economics to 619 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: measure altruism, competitiveness, and other traits and individuals born just 620 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,760 Speaker 1: before and just after the one child policy. After controlling 621 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,840 Speaker 1: for gender, education and other factors, these researchers found that 622 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: those who became only children because of the one child 623 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: policy were supposedly less trusting, less trustworthy, less conscientious, and 624 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: more risk adverse. Yeah, so this is interesting to me 625 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:35,240 Speaker 1: that these researchers chose economic based games for their measurement 626 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: system when they're looking for social and personality results. The 627 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:46,399 Speaker 1: implication here is that the economics and the sociology are intertwined, right, 628 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 1: that they have to be connected somehow, hence socioeconomics. But 629 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: but you know what I'm saying, It's that like I 630 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: would imagine that they would give them a different kind 631 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: of personality test. Yeah, one of the criticisms that has 632 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 1: come up with this is the this is kind of 633 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 1: a limiting way to look at them and trying to 634 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: analyze and understand you know, the whole generations of people, 635 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 1: um that the study does that they do They did 636 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: seem rather interested in the economic output here, uh. The 637 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: the idea of being that this would also mean that 638 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,320 Speaker 1: these individuals would be, um what would be uh less 639 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: likely to engage in risky occupations or go into business 640 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: for themselves, and that it would impact like the entrepreneurial 641 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 1: spirit of Chinese people. Again, you're kind of painting with 642 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: the broad brush here. Yeah, and you could also, you 643 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 1: know whatever, like in any generalizable way, like uh, say 644 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: that there are multiple reasons for why they may be 645 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:50,000 Speaker 1: less entrepreneurial, like maybe it's because of you know, political philosophy. Now, 646 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,560 Speaker 1: when you start looking at these findings and how people 647 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 1: reacted to it, you'll find that that some were would 648 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 1: praise it and say, well, this is a great starting point, 649 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,000 Speaker 1: and others would say, you know, it's just this is 650 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 1: an incomplete attempt to understand the influence of confounding factors 651 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,520 Speaker 1: in Chinese society. UM. Because again, how do you find 652 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 1: a control group. When you study the nature of Singleton's 653 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: in what is you know, essentially a one child society. 654 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 1: Other critics argue that age differences may have skewed subjects 655 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 1: decisions in the economic games. Yeah. I found that there 656 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 1: were some experts that chimed in on this analysis and 657 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 1: they just basically said, look, this requires more complex research. 658 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,480 Speaker 1: It's such a difficult topic to just nail down with 659 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,719 Speaker 1: one study and needs more research and it's far from complete. 660 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 1: They also said that age differences could have skewed the 661 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 1: decisions that were made in these economic games too, so 662 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,960 Speaker 1: that you know, that could have been a factor. Yeah, 663 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 1: now specifically on that if just to give a little 664 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,800 Speaker 1: more background, Camera and Company looked at four one subjects 665 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:55,840 Speaker 1: born in eighty and eighty three, so definitely our generation plus. 666 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 1: You know, if we're to accept these findings, we have 667 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 1: to consider that the Singleton's lived up to their bad reputation, 668 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 1: right and perhaps too bad expectations. So we can just 669 00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 1: can we discount the degree to which Spoiled Brad and 670 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 1: Little Emperor notions stigmatized and kind of code children that 671 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 1: you know, we have to remember the labels and expectations 672 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,719 Speaker 1: are powerful things. So how much of it is, oh, well, 673 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,319 Speaker 1: they're gonna be little emperors and you keep telling them this. 674 00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 1: I would be very interested to hear from any single child, 675 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,399 Speaker 1: any singleton listeners out there, like did you find that 676 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:33,359 Speaker 1: narrative influencing the way you behaved? Or you know, there's 677 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 1: so many factors and what what builds the personality of 678 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,200 Speaker 1: the kind of self fulfilling After a while, if you're 679 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: told so many times, well, the reason why you act 680 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,440 Speaker 1: like this is because you're an only child, then you 681 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,160 Speaker 1: start thinking to yourself, Oh, I guess it's okay for 682 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 1: me to be whatever the stereotype is, a loner or 683 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 1: misanthrope or something. I'm both of those things and I 684 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 1: have brother and sister. Yeah, but it uh, you know, 685 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,920 Speaker 1: I do agree with critics saying that more study is 686 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 1: needed here though, because it it's such a singular situation. 687 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,799 Speaker 1: It's like so much of these other studies we're looking at, 688 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 1: they're dealing with generally, they're dealing with Western families where 689 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 1: there is one child by choice, and certainly in China, 690 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 1: we're dealing with a large scale situation where there is 691 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 1: one child due to government mandate. So uh, it's it's 692 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:23,759 Speaker 1: it's its own thing. Yeah. I also wonder too, like 693 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,040 Speaker 1: in the sense that we were talking about earlier that 694 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: the fear moving from like an agricultural society to an 695 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 1: industrial society in the United States probably influenced the stereotype. 696 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 1: What other like major um cultural shifts in China that 697 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:47,240 Speaker 1: we as Westerners are totally unaware of maybe influencing these stereotypes. Indeed, 698 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 1: all right, we're gonna take a quick break, and when 699 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,920 Speaker 1: we come back, we're gonna look at what the science, 700 00:38:51,960 --> 00:39:01,320 Speaker 1: most of it Western science, has to say about single children. Okay, 701 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 1: so we're back. So let's get down to the nitty 702 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,920 Speaker 1: gritty here. What does the science say. I mentioned earlier 703 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:11,400 Speaker 1: there were studies from nine until now that have basically 704 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:15,720 Speaker 1: said this is a myth, right that the only child 705 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 1: syndrome is not real. Right, So let's go through some 706 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 1: of them at least and its spell it out. Yeah, 707 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: because ultimately it's kind of the situation where every few 708 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,319 Speaker 1: years there's a new study that says that the the 709 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:33,799 Speaker 1: stereotype is complete bs and they'll be dated to back 710 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,160 Speaker 1: that up and it's and then it'll be there'll be 711 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,440 Speaker 1: individuals in the media who will write about it and 712 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,920 Speaker 1: it's just to what degree does this actually breakthrough and 713 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: change the cultural perception? Right, it doesn't really penetrate the consciousness. Yeah, 714 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:50,000 Speaker 1: that's sure. Generally speaking though that it seems like universally 715 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,440 Speaker 1: across all these studies, there are no true negatives to 716 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,720 Speaker 1: being an only child. So you'll you'll find some studies 717 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,040 Speaker 1: to present data to support negative attributes, but for the 718 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,880 Speaker 1: most part, you don't. So there's a we're going to 719 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,680 Speaker 1: coverage some of the big ones, some of the more 720 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 1: recent ones generally, but in two thousands, there's a two 721 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 1: thousand ten study University of California. They found that having 722 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:14,320 Speaker 1: more siblings means less chance of divorce as an adult. 723 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 1: So you could you can say, all right, here's one 724 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: study that you can interpret as saying the like the 725 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 1: negative being that if you're an only child, you're more likely. Yeah, 726 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,640 Speaker 1: there's a two thousand twelve study from the University of 727 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 1: Gothenburg and they found that children who grow up without 728 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,839 Speaker 1: siblings have a more than fifty percent higher risk of 729 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,200 Speaker 1: being overweight or a beast than children with siblings. And 730 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,760 Speaker 1: this uh was gleaned from a study of twelve thousand, 731 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,680 Speaker 1: seven hundred children in eight European countries. This is like 732 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 1: the last possible stereotype that I would think of regarding 733 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 1: only children as well. Well, there was in Wali Wanka, 734 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,320 Speaker 1: wasn't there the Oh yeah, yeah, I assume, yeah, I 735 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 1: was he an only child? I can't remember. I don't know. 736 00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,920 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah. And again I so if you 737 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 1: want to pull from that study and use that to 738 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 1: profit the idea that that only children are gonna are 739 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:10,719 Speaker 1: more likely to be overweight, they're apparently. Yeah, somebody needs 740 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,680 Speaker 1: to do we just passed Halloween. Somebody needs to just 741 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:18,120 Speaker 1: study how much candy do only children eat on Halloween? Yeah? 742 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,640 Speaker 1: I imagine, though, the reality is you're gonna find only 743 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 1: children that are skinny, only children that are overweight going 744 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,560 Speaker 1: to run the game. Now. There's a two thousand thirteen 745 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,200 Speaker 1: New York Times article by Lauren Sandler that is really 746 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,880 Speaker 1: good on the on the topic will often include a 747 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,400 Speaker 1: link to it, but she summarized the scenario as follows. Quote. 748 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,680 Speaker 1: Consider the data in hundreds of studies during the past decades, 749 00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:50,600 Speaker 1: exploring sixteen character to traits, including leadership, maturity, extroversion, social participation, popularity, generosity, cooperativeness, flexibility, 750 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:55,160 Speaker 1: emotional stability, contentment. Only children scored just as well as 751 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:59,000 Speaker 1: children with siblings, and endless research shows that only children 752 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 1: are in fact more self involved than anyone else. It 753 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:06,319 Speaker 1: turns out brutal sibling rivalry isn't necessary to beat the 754 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,120 Speaker 1: ego out of us. Peers and classmates do the job. 755 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: And this and this is another thing that comes up, right, Like, 756 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: it's not like you're going to have an only child. 757 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,680 Speaker 1: I mean, some only children are probably gonna grow up 758 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,400 Speaker 1: in scenarios where there are fewer children in their midst 759 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,960 Speaker 1: but other kids are going to they're playing with kids 760 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,360 Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. They're playing there, maybe they have cousins, 761 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:31,279 Speaker 1: they're going to pre k and schools. Yeah. Absolutely. One 762 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,240 Speaker 1: psychotherapist told Sandler in that piece that only children actually 763 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:40,040 Speaker 1: have strong primary relationships, but they're with themselves instead of 764 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:44,360 Speaker 1: with siblings, and that that tends to provide better armor 765 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: against actual loneliness. So they're better at being alone. They're 766 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,759 Speaker 1: not lonely. That's not interesting. Like they know how to 767 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,200 Speaker 1: engage with with personal time a little better maybe than 768 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:59,080 Speaker 1: someone who constantly has another playmate around the course. I 769 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,840 Speaker 1: know how having had a sibling playmate is rather a 770 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,680 Speaker 1: director generous term, and so without somebody to argue with. 771 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,719 Speaker 1: Now another question that comes up, or are you know, 772 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,360 Speaker 1: obviously are they lonelier? Then? Um, we've discussed it a 773 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,960 Speaker 1: little bit already. But Tony Falbo at the University of Texas, 774 00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,319 Speaker 1: who has studied only children syndrome, suppose you know that's 775 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,320 Speaker 1: the term that's gone out, only child syndrome. She studied 776 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,280 Speaker 1: it quite a bit and looked into it and determined 777 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:30,000 Speaker 1: solitude is not synonymous with loneliness, and indeed it often 778 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,160 Speaker 1: strength and strengthens character. Yeah, I think we could probably 779 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:38,359 Speaker 1: call Tony Falbo the m v P of only child studies. Uh, 780 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,400 Speaker 1: she's been involved in this stuff since the nineteen seventies 781 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,000 Speaker 1: and she's just all over every single article that I 782 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,000 Speaker 1: read on the topic. She and she's done studies in 783 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,919 Speaker 1: both the US and China. It should be noticed she's 784 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,720 Speaker 1: studied tens of thousands of subjects in her time. After 785 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:57,760 Speaker 1: examining hundreds of studies that were done on only children 786 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,400 Speaker 1: from nineteen twenty five until the Falbo and her colleague 787 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:06,240 Speaker 1: Denise Pollitt found that only children have quote demonstrably higher 788 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 1: intelligence and actually have more self esteem than children with 789 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 1: siblings then they did this. They performed a second review 790 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,160 Speaker 1: of two hundred personalities studies, and they found that the 791 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:21,840 Speaker 1: personalities of only children were totally indistinguishable from their peers 792 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:26,160 Speaker 1: that had siblings. Uh so, I mean, she's really like 793 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 1: reviewed everything that's ever been done here. Yeah, and and 794 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:34,840 Speaker 1: certainly worked to um to to dispel some of the 795 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,080 Speaker 1: previous um studies that were out there, including some from 796 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,800 Speaker 1: the nineteen seventies that claimed that only children scored lower 797 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:44,160 Speaker 1: on intelligence test. But it turns out these findings turned 798 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:48,560 Speaker 1: out to be skewed by imbalances and socioeconomic and one 799 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: versus two parent household scaling. So again it comes down 800 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,799 Speaker 1: to what what what? What are you judging here? What 801 00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:57,520 Speaker 1: are you looking at? Are you looking at just um, 802 00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,520 Speaker 1: you know, only child versus multi sibling house olds? And 803 00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,480 Speaker 1: are you taking into account all the various other reasons 804 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 1: socio economic and otherwise they influence the personality of an 805 00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,800 Speaker 1: individual um Sandler who wrote that New York Times piece. 806 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,440 Speaker 1: She also cited a sociologist named Judith Blake as finding 807 00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:17,960 Speaker 1: the precocious quote qualities of only children come from the 808 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,799 Speaker 1: parents being able to devote more time, money, and attention 809 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,440 Speaker 1: to these children. Instead of having to divide them up 810 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,759 Speaker 1: among other children. So the stereotype may come from the 811 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,520 Speaker 1: fact that only children are often raised in quote richer 812 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,680 Speaker 1: verbal environments. And what this means is they're sharing their 813 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,520 Speaker 1: meals and other activities with more adults rather than like 814 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 1: they're not at the kiddie table. Yeah uh. And this 815 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,720 Speaker 1: subsequently leads to higher SAT scores and better self esteem. 816 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,680 Speaker 1: So it seems like all the research is saying the 817 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:52,680 Speaker 1: exact opposite about only children. Yeah, there's a quote that 818 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,480 Speaker 1: came across this is from University of Texas researcher Dr 819 00:45:55,600 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 1: Harold D. Grodevant, and he said, quote whether child is 820 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,880 Speaker 1: an only child doesn't matter as much as the kind 821 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,799 Speaker 1: of relationships in the family. So so again you can't 822 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,919 Speaker 1: boil it down to just did they is there another 823 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,719 Speaker 1: child in the house. There all these other relationships are 824 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:15,399 Speaker 1: having just as much of not more impact. So here's 825 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:19,640 Speaker 1: some other key findings from Falbo's work in the nineteen eighties. 826 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,239 Speaker 1: She found that socioeconomic status of the family, as well 827 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:25,520 Speaker 1: as the presence of both parents in the home is 828 00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,400 Speaker 1: is likely a far more important factor. Yeah, that just 829 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,879 Speaker 1: seems like a no brainer. Yeah, like that we would 830 00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,320 Speaker 1: look at that far more than how many siblings you have. Yeah. Indeed, 831 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:39,080 Speaker 1: also she found that only children are as popular with 832 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:43,080 Speaker 1: their peers as children and as adults as anybody else. 833 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 1: So that's that the whole like loner or antisocial thing 834 00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:52,840 Speaker 1: doesn't hold water. And also on an Ohio state survey 835 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 1: of more than thirteen thousand children backed this up and 836 00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:57,840 Speaker 1: found that only children had as many friends as anyone else. 837 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,000 Speaker 1: So she also found that only children are equally satisfied 838 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,479 Speaker 1: and happy, health and mental health are the same. Only 839 00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:09,040 Speaker 1: children scored higher and intelligent tests than non only child children, 840 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,440 Speaker 1: and this is comparable sociogomic level and family situations. Yeah. 841 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,239 Speaker 1: I found just a small bit of research tied into that. 842 00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:19,480 Speaker 1: A guy named Dr John G. Claude found that the 843 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:24,080 Speaker 1: only children performed better on cognitive skill tests than children 844 00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:28,360 Speaker 1: from families with two or more child. Yeah, and you know, 845 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,400 Speaker 1: I can't help but think about homework in the scenaria. 846 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: I just listened to a really excellent Ideas episode about 847 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:38,480 Speaker 1: homework bands and filled me with lots of anxiety about 848 00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:42,319 Speaker 1: coming homework my child. But yeah, they're talking about all 849 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,960 Speaker 1: the homework parents end up having to help one child 850 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,720 Speaker 1: with and then if it's two, I mean, some something's 851 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,120 Speaker 1: gotta get it's gonna fall through the I'll just help 852 00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:54,320 Speaker 1: each other. Yeah, well you had the second one, Robert. Alright. 853 00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:57,520 Speaker 1: So Falbo also found that points out that only children 854 00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:01,759 Speaker 1: have higher academic aspirations, they retire levels of education, and 855 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:05,279 Speaker 1: attain higher occupational prestige. Only children start dating at the 856 00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,360 Speaker 1: same age as children with siblings. However, only children have 857 00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:13,600 Speaker 1: a slightly less active social life overall, dating somewhat less frequently. 858 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,160 Speaker 1: So you know, in all of this too, of course, 859 00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,040 Speaker 1: we're also even statistics back all this up. I mean, 860 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:21,480 Speaker 1: we're still talking about generality. There may be plenty of 861 00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:25,960 Speaker 1: examples that buck the trend on both sides. Now. Interestingly enough, 862 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,239 Speaker 1: in Falbo's worked in the nineteen eighties, she predicted that, 863 00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:33,640 Speaker 1: is more families chose to have only children, attitudes towards 864 00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:37,160 Speaker 1: both parents and child would change. So there'd be less 865 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,799 Speaker 1: of this stigma against having just one child, and they'd 866 00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,360 Speaker 1: be less of this, uh, this this attitude and this 867 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:49,640 Speaker 1: expectation of of say, spoiled behavior or or antisocialization in 868 00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:54,839 Speaker 1: the only child. Yeah. Sandler, who wrote the piece, her 869 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:59,799 Speaker 1: own research indicates that only children experience more intense emotional 870 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,920 Speaker 1: family lives where the love is more concentrated is how 871 00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,480 Speaker 1: she put it. Um And she says, well, while that 872 00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:09,640 Speaker 1: can be enriching, it can also be suffocating. So she 873 00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,799 Speaker 1: interviewed a lot of adult only children. She found that 874 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:15,879 Speaker 1: they told her that they wanted to have more than 875 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,399 Speaker 1: one kid, specifically because the intensity of being in that 876 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,799 Speaker 1: like concentrated love scenario as a kid was too much 877 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,799 Speaker 1: for them. Um. And there's also data she cites from 878 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,880 Speaker 1: the National Alliance for Caregiving that shows that the closest 879 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:34,279 Speaker 1: living sibling we brought this up earlier is usually the 880 00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:38,680 Speaker 1: one who is responsible for elderly caregiving. And only children 881 00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:42,240 Speaker 1: reported to Sandler that this was the number one issue 882 00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,840 Speaker 1: that they felt strongest about regarding their sibling status, like 883 00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,000 Speaker 1: how many siblings they had, what their relationships with their 884 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,040 Speaker 1: sibling was. It came down to who's going to take 885 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,480 Speaker 1: care of mom and dad old age. Yeah, so that's 886 00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:59,960 Speaker 1: a big factor as well. And then Time Magazine spoke 887 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:04,040 Speaker 1: to psychologist Carl Pickard, who wrote the book The Future 888 00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,640 Speaker 1: of Your Only Child, and he did this after four 889 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:10,920 Speaker 1: decades of experience as a you know, therapist. He said, yeah, 890 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,920 Speaker 1: they're indulged and they are protected by their parents, but 891 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:19,279 Speaker 1: only children also are given more nurturing to develop themselves. 892 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,839 Speaker 1: And he clarifies that this isn't the same thing as 893 00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:27,040 Speaker 1: being selfish. Now I've got a personal example here, and 894 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:31,160 Speaker 1: maybe you experience this too, Okay. As a writer, I 895 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,959 Speaker 1: find that I am often guilty, although I really try 896 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,960 Speaker 1: not to be of self comparing to the success of 897 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:42,160 Speaker 1: other writers. Uh. And for instance, I think to myself, 898 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,320 Speaker 1: how did somebody like za D. Smith sell a novel 899 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 1: when they're only twenty two years old? And that's not 900 00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:50,840 Speaker 1: me saying Zadie Smith is a bad writer. That's me 901 00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,160 Speaker 1: going how did she have the acumen at age twenty 902 00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,960 Speaker 1: two to be able to do that? And as I've 903 00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,640 Speaker 1: gotten older, I realized, well, it's because I didn't necessarily 904 00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:03,840 Speaker 1: have of the nurturing that would lead to developing skills 905 00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,839 Speaker 1: as quickly as maybe she did. Right. Uh And while 906 00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:10,000 Speaker 1: z D. Smith was hammering out novels, I was still 907 00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:12,400 Speaker 1: trying to figure out who I was at age twenty two. 908 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,319 Speaker 1: By the way, she's not an only child. She has 909 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,840 Speaker 1: a lot of siblings, so she's she's not an example 910 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,279 Speaker 1: of like an only child. But I guess when you 911 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:23,719 Speaker 1: look at it from an only child's perspective. They may 912 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:29,879 Speaker 1: succeed earlier, but they're they're experiencing this intense pressure from 913 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:33,960 Speaker 1: both their parents and themselves to succeed. So that's interesting 914 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,480 Speaker 1: to think about too, just from like an adult perspective 915 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:40,600 Speaker 1: looking back, right, is that there's sort of like a toolbox, 916 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,560 Speaker 1: and you're given a certain amount of tools to work 917 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,040 Speaker 1: with in that toolbox. Uh. And though you have to 918 00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,160 Speaker 1: use those as you're getting older to sort of figure 919 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,719 Speaker 1: out who you are, what your skills are, what you 920 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:56,280 Speaker 1: want to do with your life. Uh, and not everybody 921 00:51:56,320 --> 00:52:00,319 Speaker 1: like uses the tools in the same way. Yeah, And 922 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,120 Speaker 1: I mean I can certainly see that where you would 923 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,360 Speaker 1: have the parental expectations of hey, there's no plan B, 924 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,200 Speaker 1: there's no mental child, right, there's no room for you 925 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,000 Speaker 1: to be the screw up here. You've got to you've 926 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,319 Speaker 1: got to be the success story. Yeah. Yeah, I think 927 00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,719 Speaker 1: that that's the pressure that people feel, or than that, 928 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,840 Speaker 1: like they put it on themselves too. Yeah. Um, So 929 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:23,000 Speaker 1: you know, to close out here, I think first of all, 930 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,359 Speaker 1: I would love to hear from our listeners who are 931 00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 1: only children, uh, find out what their experience are how 932 00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:33,040 Speaker 1: much Uh this gels with your personal experience or not 933 00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:37,120 Speaker 1: the research or the stereotype per se um. And I'd 934 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,959 Speaker 1: also like to point out Sandler also says most people 935 00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,000 Speaker 1: say that they have their first child for themselves and 936 00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 1: the second to benefit their first. But if children aren't 937 00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:51,520 Speaker 1: inherently worse off without siblings, as has been proven through 938 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,880 Speaker 1: these studies, who is best served by that kind of thinking? 939 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:59,799 Speaker 1: So that's worth questioning as well. Um, it's probably not 940 00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:04,480 Speaker 1: the parents. They're probably not best served, right Uh. Sociologist 941 00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,400 Speaker 1: Hans Peter Koehler, who is at the University of Pennsylvania, 942 00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:12,040 Speaker 1: he analyzed thirty five thousand Danish twins who knew there 943 00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,880 Speaker 1: were that many Danish twins, and he found that women 944 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:19,520 Speaker 1: with one child said that they were more satisfied with 945 00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:24,040 Speaker 1: their lives than either women with no children or women 946 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,920 Speaker 1: with more than one. So that's an interesting point of 947 00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,719 Speaker 1: comparison to He's like, I'm assuming he's looking at twins 948 00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:34,880 Speaker 1: as a control group. Uh, and finds that the despite 949 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:37,719 Speaker 1: what we heard earlier from that Pew study that the 950 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,839 Speaker 1: self reporting in America at least says that well, two 951 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,720 Speaker 1: seems to be the ideal number of children these women 952 00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:47,279 Speaker 1: were reporting actually I was most satisfied when I only 953 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:53,720 Speaker 1: had one, uh, Regardless, According to a University of Pennsylvania demographer, 954 00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:57,839 Speaker 1: projections show that in the United States, the number of 955 00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,879 Speaker 1: larger families and the number of only children are going 956 00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:05,080 Speaker 1: to keep growing and in the rest a couple of years. Yeah, 957 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:09,239 Speaker 1: so there's going to be a growth of both, and 958 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:13,920 Speaker 1: we'll see what kind of repercussions that has culturally for 959 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,920 Speaker 1: our for our own socio economic climate. Yeah, and indeed, 960 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,200 Speaker 1: we'd love to hear from everyone out there who has 961 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,480 Speaker 1: some input on this, if you're an only child, or 962 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,160 Speaker 1: you're one of many siblings, if you're a parent of 963 00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,400 Speaker 1: an only child, or if you have an entire brood 964 00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,480 Speaker 1: going on, and indeed, what your kind of outlook on 965 00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,440 Speaker 1: that is. And certainly if anyone out there has you know, 966 00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,400 Speaker 1: personal experience with the one child policy, we need to 967 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,160 Speaker 1: hear your your thoughts on all of this as well. 968 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:43,480 Speaker 1: Be very interested to hear a personal experience with that. Yeah. So, Okay, 969 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,520 Speaker 1: we've just said a bunch of things that we want 970 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,839 Speaker 1: you to to to do for us, ways in which 971 00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,840 Speaker 1: you can interact with us, Right, but how do you 972 00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,080 Speaker 1: do that? Well? Stuff to blow your mind? Dot com 973 00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,360 Speaker 1: is our home base on the Internet. It is where 974 00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:02,040 Speaker 1: you will find all of our articles, videos and podcasts, 975 00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,480 Speaker 1: as well as links to all of our social media accounts. 976 00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:11,440 Speaker 1: We're on Twitter, Tumbler, Facebook, and Instagram. I think I 977 00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:12,640 Speaker 1: got all of them right, I think those are the 978 00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:14,680 Speaker 1: big ones. Yeah, yeah, um, so you can reach out 979 00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:16,880 Speaker 1: to us on any of those platforms. In fact, yesterday 980 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,919 Speaker 1: I spent like a good amount of time going through 981 00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:22,600 Speaker 1: the back catalog. There a bunch of topics suggestions that 982 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,080 Speaker 1: we've received from listeners over the last couple of months. 983 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:29,080 Speaker 1: Added them to our our master list of of suggestions 984 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 1: for the podcast. There's another way, right, there's another way 985 00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,960 Speaker 1: that they could write to us, that automatic writing, Yeah, 986 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,439 Speaker 1: they could do that, um. And astral projection is another one. 987 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,200 Speaker 1: Often forget to check our astro projection folder though, Yeah, 988 00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:48,400 Speaker 1: that's probably it's probably really but we never forget to 989 00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,719 Speaker 1: check our email though, And that's where you can reach us. 990 00:55:51,080 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 1: Blow the mind and how stuff works dot com for 991 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,680 Speaker 1: more on this and thousands of other topics. Is it 992 00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:18,600 Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com. The differen