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Speaker 1: Welcome to This Is Important, a production of I Heart Radio,

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Speaker 1: the show where we only talk about what is most

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Speaker 1: obviously very crucially important today. On This is Important, I

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Speaker 1: will start donkey kicking fools. I want to know what

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Speaker 1: a baby is about to be and I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: fucked up getting dude, show us your wee wahs and

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Speaker 1: your who who's I want to suck your dingleberries At

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Speaker 1: the sound of the moan, it will be four thirty sex.

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Speaker 1: Let's go back on like game shows when they'll be

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Speaker 1: like when you're making whoopie with your wife and they

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Speaker 1: just couldn't stop talking about making whoopie? Yeah, And that

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Speaker 1: was the fun game of It's just how many times

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Speaker 1: you could say, whoopy, what's the strangest place you made

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Speaker 1: whoopie with your wife? And they'd be like in the butt?

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Speaker 1: And then now on game shows, it's what's the strangest

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Speaker 1: place you were pounding your wife out? Who wap wap whap,

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Speaker 1: the craziest place she ever sucked your dingle dangle it

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Speaker 1: whoop be clo. It was heligraphic, but still didn't say

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Speaker 1: the words when it's like, where's the craziest place you've

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Speaker 1: wrapped rubber bands around the tatatas and then snapped the

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Speaker 1: Bengal bangs with the pliers. I heard your husband so crazy?

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Speaker 1: How crazy is he? He likes to get his whoop

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Speaker 1: whoop stomped on with high heels. I heard your husband

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Speaker 1: was so wacky. He likes to get ship on right

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Speaker 1: on the chest. Could say that right on the in

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Speaker 1: his mouth. That's okay. He likes to brush his teeth

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Speaker 1: with whoop boo. And after you're done, you saved the

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Speaker 1: come and wash your You might be a redneck. This

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Speaker 1: is important. And uh we're talking moon rock as in

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Speaker 1: uh ecstasy, correct Molly. Yes, I'm talking to the pen

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Speaker 1: that you lick the tip. Oh my god, moonrock. You

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Speaker 1: just suck on it. You suck on the penny. Hey,

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Speaker 1: why is Blake chewing on his pencil and class? You

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Speaker 1: know why? Oh my god. But then you just start

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Speaker 1: giving your buddies back massashes. I mean that was part

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Speaker 1: of for the course though. Yeah, you guys. Uh, Molly

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Speaker 1: is the weirdest drug. Because there's a period of my

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Speaker 1: life in my mid twenties when a lot of my

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Speaker 1: friends down here in Orange County we're deep into molly,

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Speaker 1: and I'd come down and they'd just be like, we're

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Speaker 1: all doing Molly tonight, and I'd like have a show

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Speaker 1: or whatever and then come over to their house afterwards,

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Speaker 1: and then I would see them already just hopped up

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Speaker 1: on this stuff taking And it's the weirdest drug because

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Speaker 1: it's just like you're just like, dude, put your nipples

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Speaker 1: in the freezer for a minute. It feels so good,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, you know, you look like a fucking asshole,

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Speaker 1: and then you do it and you're like, he's right,

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Speaker 1: he did have a point. I should freeze my nipples.

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Speaker 1: My nipples are way too hot. The one and only

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Speaker 1: time I did moon Rock was when we rented that

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Speaker 1: house in Newport Adam. Hello, oh, I remember that the

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Speaker 1: sand between our toes, all the grandelers of the sand.

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Speaker 1: The night was so fantastic. Was this just a getaway

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Speaker 1: with you guys? Yeah? Yeah? Was this a two man

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Speaker 1: did he? What the fuck? Well? Yeah, just me and

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Speaker 1: Kyle rented a place fucked for a week, right right, right? No,

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Speaker 1: it was it was over fourth of July, so we

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Speaker 1: rented a place down there and then just it was

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Speaker 1: when we did like the huge season of Workaholics and

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Speaker 1: we had one week off in between writing and shooting,

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Speaker 1: and we just like I went down there and fucked

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Speaker 1: and like did moon Rock, and like, let's spread the

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Speaker 1: rumor that we sucked a lot. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: oh there it is, guys, Randy. You may have heard,

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Speaker 1: but there is a huge new addition to this show.

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Speaker 1: Let's hear it again for the fans at home. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what have we got? Yeah? Baby? And maybe a little

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Speaker 1: oh ready, oh wow, folks, we have upgraded the sound system.

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Speaker 1: We have entered the soundboard realm. So I'm so glad

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Speaker 1: you did it. I've been a little busy, but Kudo

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Speaker 1: was my friend. Yeah, I don't I don't have much

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Speaker 1: to do and there are only two sounds. So yeah, baby,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was your impression of Austin Powers the

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Speaker 1: first time I heard it. He's that good. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: I guess I could just go yeah baby, after things

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Speaker 1: he's saying. It was that pretty much was that the

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Speaker 1: sound was hello, yeah baby? You guys checking out the vowel.

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Speaker 1: I haven't checked out the vowel yet. No, the vowel?

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Speaker 1: What's that? Now? What anybody the vow anybody the Nexium

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Speaker 1: sex cult documentary? Oh no, and how do you pronounce it?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm like nexium nexium, and this is the one

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Speaker 1: where the they all got the same tattoos. Those it's

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Speaker 1: a brand. It's a brand, so it's like yellow Stone.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. The leader looks just like Jared Letto, like

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Speaker 1: if he's fucking sexy. Now I'm watching. Oh so that

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Speaker 1: means you like Jared Letto. I do like Jared Letto, Yes,

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Speaker 1: I do. I think he's a what's your what's your

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Speaker 1: favorite version of Letto? I don't mine. I liked him

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Speaker 1: just after Dallas Buyers Club when he got his award

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Speaker 1: and he had the long hair kind of like I

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Speaker 1: look like right now, with like the umbre kind of

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Speaker 1: look exactly like you. No, no, I got the number one.

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Speaker 1: Look maybe Blake has the same thought here, Hannock rule

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Speaker 1: with the corn Rows. Give me, Oh god, damn, gimme, gimme.

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Speaker 1: I have it on good authority that Jared Letto bad dick.

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Speaker 1: He's got the bad dick. Oh hey wait, I got

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Speaker 1: one for that. I am so glad that I'm able

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Speaker 1: to control my penis. Now, wait, what is this dick?

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Speaker 1: He's got it? He doesn't. It's not a small dick.

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Speaker 1: It's not a big dick, it's just he gives bad dick.

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Speaker 1: Who cares? Oh so I know a girl that slept

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Speaker 1: with Jared Letto allegedly, allegedly and she told me bad dick.

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Speaker 1: It's got the bad dick. That is subjective as fuck. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hold on, what if it was a bad night out

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Speaker 1: or was this multiple encounters give the guard break? Well,

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Speaker 1: for sure, one person come on, and that makes me

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Speaker 1: believe that my dick has been called a bad dick

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Speaker 1: as well. I'm sure we've all had bad audience. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure we've all had our bouts of bad numerous times.

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to put it on record. I like to

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Speaker 1: believe that he can't have everything. Every showing from Jared

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Speaker 1: leto is just a poor showing a hot whimper. He's

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Speaker 1: a selfish lover. I'm not going to give that to you, buddy.

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Speaker 1: You think he just lays they're not giving it to you.

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Speaker 1: Obviously the woman was not the right woman. He's not

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Speaker 1: throwing it down. Obviously the woman was not the right

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Speaker 1: woman at him. Wow, So you're blaming the woman, Straw.

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Speaker 1: So you're blaming the woman, Kyle. I'm just putting it

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Speaker 1: out there. I'm not blaming any I'm just putting it

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Speaker 1: out there. It takes two to fuck. You're on time out.

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Speaker 1: I've got a hair trigger, baby, and I will start

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Speaker 1: donkey kicking fools. That's my main move. I did hear

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Speaker 1: that the actual true defense to fighting a mountain lion

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Speaker 1: or a cat like that is you are supposed to well,

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Speaker 1: you can try that. That's what they want, that's why

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Speaker 1: they're out there. But you're supposed to stick your fist

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Speaker 1: down their mouths. No, no, no, You're supposed to stick

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Speaker 1: your fist into their mouth and then grab inside their

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Speaker 1: tummy and mess it all up. See, now that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I would that. I am so serious. You're saying it

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Speaker 1: with this. I know you're saying it with the straight face,

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Speaker 1: and this doesn't seem like your style of comedy. But

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Speaker 1: this is the thing, because when you get your fist

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Speaker 1: into their open mouth, they can't close it anymore, and

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to just keep pushing as far down into

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Speaker 1: the belly of the beast as you can and then

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Speaker 1: start to let me just defend Blake here because like

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Speaker 1: he's our dumbest friend. No, that is real. That is real.

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Speaker 1: That is the true defense. If you're being attacked by

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Speaker 1: a mount it can break your arm. No, you just

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Speaker 1: gotta push. We were filming Workaholics, right, and I got

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Speaker 1: attacked by that malon wa And for people at home,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what a malon wise, they're smarter German

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Speaker 1: shepherd's right. That was a dog, right, They're like super

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Speaker 1: intelligent dogs and the size of a German shepherd. And

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Speaker 1: he was biting on my arm, but I had like

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Speaker 1: a pad thing under my shirt and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: like if you really grabbed on that hurts. And the

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Speaker 1: guy goes, oh, yeah, he could snap through your arm,

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Speaker 1: like fucking cottage cheese or whatever. He uses a metaphor.

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Speaker 1: If you shove your fist down a mountain lion's throat,

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Speaker 1: you're winning the fight. You're losing your hand. You're you're

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Speaker 1: winning the no hand come. They can't bite up to

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Speaker 1: that point. Okay, well I just googled. I did a

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Speaker 1: quick google and a hunter shows his arm down grizzly

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Speaker 1: bears throat to stay of off attack. I'm telling you, dude,

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Speaker 1: when it gets to the point where there's a beast

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Speaker 1: on top of you biting, your best bet is to

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Speaker 1: shove your arm down their throat because what are you

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Speaker 1: gagging it? So it's like when you barf in your

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Speaker 1: jaw just goes like like unhinged. Yeah, and that the

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Speaker 1: point when you have something too large in your mouth,

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Speaker 1: like in your jaws too extended, you lose the ability

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Speaker 1: to bite down at that point. Sure, but I mean

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Speaker 1: it's a it'll back away from you, man, they're on you.

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Speaker 1: Oh it won't. It can't. There's a no, it can't.

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Speaker 1: It can't go backwards in this scenario because it's all

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Speaker 1: it's all you fun with its inner ear. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: did you hear what Blake said? Don't Blake, I'm on

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Speaker 1: your team right now. You grab the inside. So how's

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Speaker 1: it going to back away when you're grabbing its throat?

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Speaker 1: Oh you have the uvula in your grasp. No, you're bad.

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Speaker 1: You're past the ub. You have a player. You're like

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Speaker 1: grabbing the stomach and ship. That's how deep you have

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Speaker 1: to go. You're grabbing its dick from the inside. So

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Speaker 1: you are trying to ok after after it's all said

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Speaker 1: and done. Yeah right, this is important. Hey, speaking of

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Speaker 1: fucking animals, I did hear at the dog park once

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Speaker 1: when I went there that if like a pit bull

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Speaker 1: does attack you, or if like how to get the

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Speaker 1: pit bull off of your dog if they're attacking. You

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Speaker 1: can't reach in and grab the jaw and just like

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Speaker 1: separate them. That's not gonna happen. What you do have

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Speaker 1: to do? You do? You have to put your finger

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Speaker 1: in its asshole? Like that's the way to get it

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Speaker 1: to stuff. You do, dude, when it gets down to

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Speaker 1: those situations, think about it. What else you gonna do?

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Speaker 1: And I was gonna say, like, do that with the

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Speaker 1: bobcat too, So reach in with one hand, grab the

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Speaker 1: dick from the inside and then reached underneath and throw

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Speaker 1: your finger up the butt hole. And now like, what's

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Speaker 1: that Bobcat actually gonna do? It's not backing up, backing,

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Speaker 1: I started backing up. Are you doing? Like what do

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Speaker 1: they call it a Chinese finger trap or whatever to

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Speaker 1: a wild animal? Yeah? One finger in the mount and

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Speaker 1: one finger in the butt? Dude. Yeah, how did Kyle die?

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Speaker 1: It was five am? He was doing some night hiking. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was dark. He was frog hunting. Yeah, he found

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Speaker 1: a frog to call it, and he fingered a bobcat's assehole.

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Speaker 1: But for real, this is making me want to start

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Speaker 1: up a website, which is the wrong answers to general questions.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's what our podcast is evolving into,

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Speaker 1: is like guys who could easily google answers, but instead,

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Speaker 1: Well I did google, and you are This has worked before.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's the best technique. It's worst case scenario.

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Speaker 1: Which one the butt hole? Not the butt hole? There's

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Speaker 1: no I haven't found anything about butt holes. I think

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Speaker 1: that's just you want to finger animals buttholes. The butthole

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Speaker 1: is weird. That No, that's a that's a pit bull

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Speaker 1: specific thing. I guess, yeah, I guess maybe what about

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Speaker 1: grabbing its nuts? Right? Well, what if it's not a boy?

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Speaker 1: Then you know what you do? You do? Two in

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Speaker 1: the pink? Is that? How's it go? Yes? I feel

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Speaker 1: like I would choke it out? Right, wouldn't you choke

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Speaker 1: it out? Here's the thing about that if it's a

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Speaker 1: pitbull in a happening, because their fucking necks are all muscle,

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Speaker 1: and if it's a Chinese Sharpei, the skin is so

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Speaker 1: loose and slipper, you just can't get a handle on it.

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Speaker 1: I could choke out a pit bull. I also recall

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Speaker 1: another way to like disengage, You try to stab them

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Speaker 1: in the eyes as well. Oh, take out their eyesight,

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Speaker 1: but they have great smells. I don't know, and beautiful

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Speaker 1: eyes would be such a crime. That's why you have

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Speaker 1: to to shoot yourself and then quickly discard your pants.

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Speaker 1: Either way, it's it's not pretty. That's smart. Actually taking

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Speaker 1: a ship or farting on him probably will get him

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Speaker 1: to go away. Oh they're so grossed out, they just

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Speaker 1: run away. They love that. They're like, that's a weird

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Speaker 1: as smell. Why do dogs love fart so much? Like

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Speaker 1: you far? A dog will just bury his face into

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Speaker 1: your asshole. They get it, man, Hell yeah, the kid

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Speaker 1: they love the stink. They're like, oh, I know what

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Speaker 1: you have for lunch, dog rock. Sex as your equipment, right,

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Speaker 1: Sex as your equipment, it's what you got. Gender is

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Speaker 1: how you identify as a You're like, I'm a guy,

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Speaker 1: and it's like you could have a vagina, but you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm a guy. Okay, is there like something because this

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Speaker 1: baby is still being born, like it's still you know,

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Speaker 1: being made, and it can't identify as anything but it's sex, right,

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Speaker 1: it's being cooked in the baby of it here we go. Yes, Kyle,

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just curious. I'm I'm walking down the

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Speaker 1: path just like the map over there. This baby cannot

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Speaker 1: be like, uh, you know what, Sorry, I'm not a

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Speaker 1: pink girl. I am actually a boy. Yes, I want

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Speaker 1: to I want my color to be blue out there. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I know the people doing this or fucking they don't care. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they're baking blue cakes. They don't care. And also it's

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Speaker 1: not up to the baby until they start to talk.

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Speaker 1: They don't get to decide which colors they want on

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Speaker 1: the cakes. That is what I'm saying. But the point

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Speaker 1: is it's got a dick or a vagina or both.

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Speaker 1: That's what the thing is revealing that it's got that.

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Speaker 1: And then there's a whole another reveal when they're old

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Speaker 1: enough to decide what they actually want to reveal themselves as,

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Speaker 1: or not even old enough, but when they actually have

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Speaker 1: the when they when they figure it out two and

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Speaker 1: a half and a half, nobody cares, by the way,

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Speaker 1: nobody cares. Just just have your baby. Just have the baby.

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Speaker 1: You just have it. If you guys had another kid

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Speaker 1: and had a general reveal, I'd come just to just

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Speaker 1: to kick it. With you guys until you crawl into

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Speaker 1: your you know, six month baby hole. That's the only

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Speaker 1: way I drink now. I don't drink unless some sex

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Speaker 1: is getting revealed. Do you feel me? That's sex? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I want to know what a baby is about to

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Speaker 1: be and I'm gonna get fucked up. That's what's up.

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Speaker 1: I'll drink to that. You know. There's some weird pervy

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Speaker 1: Hollywood Hills sex parties. So they're like, oh sex reveal

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theories, and then they just pull a curtain back.

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Speaker 1: It's just two people go and have it. They just

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Speaker 1: whip a dude's taper off. Yeah, that's exactly time to

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Speaker 1: reveal the sex. Everybody getting dude. They have somebody in

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Speaker 1: like a big smock and they just tear it off.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, Hollywood getting nude. Show us your wee wos

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Speaker 1: and your who who's I want to suck your dingleberries?

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Speaker 1: That's poopo? Sorry sorry that I mean, it's just my

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Speaker 1: bad my good save of take back for later, my

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Speaker 1: bad story. I said suck you dingleberries. I was a

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Speaker 1: t l C boy, honestly, for sure. That was a

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Speaker 1: little before, was it? Yeah? Were you crazy sexy or cool, crazy,

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Speaker 1: sexy cool. I used to wonder that too, who was crazy,

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Speaker 1: who was sexy? Who was cool? Well, we know, but

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Speaker 1: as far as you guys go, guys, welcome to this

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Speaker 1: is important. My question today is are you crazy, sexy

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Speaker 1: or cool? Oh? Dog, I'm crazy? Yeah, you are crazy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm full blown crazy therapist for seven years battling off demons.

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Speaker 1: Crazy was definitely left eye correct because she was kind

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Speaker 1: of like, yes, Psycho burned her dude's house down, which

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Speaker 1: was sick and cool? Was t bos and sexy was

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Speaker 1: wasn't her name? Chili? Chili was sexy? Yeah? I think

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Speaker 1: I think you're cool, Blake. I think that's what what

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Speaker 1: you are dogs your tea bos for sure? Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And there's a are you sexy? What are you? There's

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Speaker 1: is sexy? I see his love on Instagram. Chicks, I

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Speaker 1: want to see this dude, and dudes want to see

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Speaker 1: this dude. I get a lot of dudes. How come

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Speaker 1: you haven't done any hardcore sex scenes in a in

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Speaker 1: a movie? Kind of has? He kind of had hot

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Speaker 1: sauce up but rammed by a thing of hot sauce.

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Speaker 1: I remember that I liked that scene. Thought it was

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Speaker 1: really good. Oh I did I tell you guys that

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Speaker 1: I ran into de Niro at backstage at the Critics

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Speaker 1: Choice Awards this past past year pre covid O Were

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Speaker 1: you nominated? No? I was presenting, Yeah, yeah, baby, But

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Speaker 1: it was like de Niro comes backstage and I know

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Speaker 1: him from the Intern and I like had a meeting

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Speaker 1: with him and we talked for like two hours in

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Speaker 1: his office one time, and he comes backstage and I go,

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Speaker 1: how you doing, Bob, and he just looks at me

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Speaker 1: with no recollection, And I didn't And I should have

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Speaker 1: just gave him the olive branch of going like it's

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Speaker 1: me Adam from the Intern, but I didn't. I just

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Speaker 1: like held my ground and we stared at each other

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Speaker 1: for like he could have like quickly been like, oh, hey,

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Speaker 1: how you doing and kept it moving, but he stared

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Speaker 1: at me for ten seconds waiting for me to go

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Speaker 1: it's Adam from the movie The Intern, and I didn't,

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Speaker 1: and I just sort of we just locked oyes and

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Speaker 1: for like ten seconds and Chloe's just grabbing my arm

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Speaker 1: harder and harder, being like what the fund is going on?

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Speaker 1: And then he just goes and then walked away. Okay,

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Speaker 1: can I ask you a question about that? Why didn't

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Speaker 1: you say? It was that, like, uh, what was going

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Speaker 1: on where you're? Like I could have I could say

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Speaker 1: who I am and remind this older gentleman who I am? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Why didn't you? Because when I was so we were

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Speaker 1: just so locked in the moment and I kind of

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Speaker 1: wanted to see if he would remember without any help

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Speaker 1: that Okay, he does like six movies a year, though,

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Speaker 1: and he's seventy whatever. I know, I don't know, And

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Speaker 1: in hindsight, I wish I would have just gone, hey,

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Speaker 1: but I'm Adam. It's Adam Anders, friend from from the interns,

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Speaker 1: friend from the intern and he goes, oh, Drabel Zach Parlman,

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Speaker 1: Zach Perlman's acting partner, Jason Orley's seeing stunt double. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it looks like Pearlman in the flick, almost exact same look, Adam.

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Speaker 1: To be fair, I planned for that that running I

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Speaker 1: carry around the glasses I wore in the intern wherever

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Speaker 1: I go, just to put him on, and then I

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Speaker 1: go Bobby dro I was waiting for like a glimmer

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Speaker 1: of like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, none of it. And actually,

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Speaker 1: I mean like I almost felt like he respected that

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Speaker 1: I didn't tell him. He was just like, okay, well yeah,

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Speaker 1: he had no idea who you were. So it was

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Speaker 1: just a weird running with a guy. Like that's cool.

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Speaker 1: All he was thinking there was I'm glad he didn't

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Speaker 1: ask for a picture. Yeah, all right, Yeah, there was cool,

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Speaker 1: cool interaction. Just Prick called me Bob and then just

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Speaker 1: stood there Bob. No picture though, good to go. I

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Speaker 1: love his videos where he's like I'm gonna talking about Trump.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I'm gonna punch him in fucking face, unch him.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna just beat

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Speaker 1: his ass. Well, they're like the same age, so I

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Speaker 1: would put my money on. Didn't hero. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. But Trump, Trump's heavy. Trump's a bigger dude.

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Speaker 1: He's a big man. Yeah that's interesting. Yeah. Trump's like

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Speaker 1: six to right and he's fucking wide bootied. That's how

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna look. I'm just gonna balloon from the back

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Speaker 1: that low center. I'm just gonna have to walk all

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Speaker 1: hunched forward because my ass is too heavy. It's a

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Speaker 1: counterbalance pulling me backwards. When am I going to leak

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Speaker 1: those nudes? Maybe the skin sack of Trump nudes. Somebody's

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Speaker 1: got to have those nudes out there, just some like

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Speaker 1: you know, just big titted hooker that he hooked up

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Speaker 1: with in Russia allegedly do that took a photos of

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Speaker 1: his nutsack when he was sleeping. I'm trying to see those.

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Speaker 1: Why don't we just start our own business instead of

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Speaker 1: franchise something. Why don't we just come up with our

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Speaker 1: own menu that's off the charts. That's because it's raising

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Speaker 1: canes that already exists, raising canes, it's already there. We

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Speaker 1: love it. That's like jumping onto a franchise. That I mean,

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Speaker 1: it is jumping onto a franchise. That's what he just said.

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Speaker 1: Literally what it is? Are you kyling us? I'm just

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Speaker 1: asking the question. I just like original stuffs. Now, hey Kyle,

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Speaker 1: And that's a good point, but see your vegetarians. So

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Speaker 1: we're never going to agree on what should be the

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Speaker 1: main thing. But he's gonna bring the toast then noodles. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can bring the thunder in other places, Like, you're

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Speaker 1: not going to think about what I think about because

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Speaker 1: you guys are all going to be thinking about the

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Speaker 1: meats and I'm gonna be handling the rest. No, because

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Speaker 1: here's the thing. We eat vegetables too. I know a

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Speaker 1: good cucumber. You know a good cucumber. I know a

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Speaker 1: good cucumber. Differences. You don't know the chicken. You don't

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Speaker 1: know vegetables more than I know vegetables. I got some

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Speaker 1: bomb mass cucumbers growing in my backyard right now. Dude

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00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: xing to have about fifty of them. I bet you do.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is is I I partake in everything.

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Speaker 1: You only part take in a small section of food.

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00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 1: Get them. He eats all the food. It's a pretty

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Speaker 1: big section. I just don't eat what the meat, which

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Speaker 1: is like three or four or five things, turkey, pork, beef.

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Speaker 1: We're opening a chicken shack, dude. How many meats are there? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Lamb more than hundreds hundreds of How many meats are there?

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00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: There's chickens, there's pork, mollusk, venison, cow, there's beef. What

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Speaker 1: are you? What are you talking about? What? Any type

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Speaker 1: of animal is a meat? Any animal? Where's the beat? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: But how many? How many of them? There's way more?

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Speaker 1: Every animal, every animal, there's rhino, the wild dog. Every

400
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Speaker 1: animal is a meat. Bear You eat rhino have I

401
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Speaker 1: ever eaten rhino? Are you asking five? So? Are you

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Speaker 1: saying we're gonna start I'm asking if we're gonna start

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Speaker 1: a franchise that involves rhino, Well, that would be a problem.

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00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: That is very scarce. I'm saying, well, it's got I

405
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Speaker 1: think that would be hard to get. That's gonna be

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Speaker 1: highly legal. Save the rhino, Like, is that what we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do. I don't think that's what we're gonna do.

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Speaker 1: All I'm saying is you just don't discount me because

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Speaker 1: I don't have that part. I got other taste buds.

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Speaker 1: My taste buds still my fucking work. All I'm saying

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Speaker 1: is you got to go to a Raising Canes before

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Speaker 1: you shut this idea. Then you're saying no to Raising Canes. Motherfucker.

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Speaker 1: You haven't tried their Texas toasts. I didn't say no.

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Speaker 1: I laterally was just like, what if we started our

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Speaker 1: own thing? Yeah? I know, and look maybe just try

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Speaker 1: the skin. You eat the skin. You can eat the

417
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 1: skin off the chickenhome. I'm not eating the skin, bro, dude,

418
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 1: eat the skin. That's not even the mean, that's just

419
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: the skin. No way, dude, that's all right. Hey, thank

420
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 1: you though here, what about just going full skin? Thank you?

421
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: Though you want to open a restaurant, it would just

422
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: be what cucumbers? What would it be? I make a

423
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: bomb mass salad. Dude, I'm telling you, salads are off

424
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: the charts. Chop shop exist a salad bar the restaurant. No,

425
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 1: but what you do is you don't make it a bar.

426
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: We're not talking about all the cart We're talking about

427
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: a salad and the way I like it, which is

428
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: basically spinach, a arugula, whole tomatoes, cutting big gass chunks,

429
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 1: black beans, banana pepper's hot banana peppers, sweet motherfucking cucumbers.

430
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 1: Player puts some olive oil, and then player puts some salt,

431
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: and then player puts some pepper and that's it. That's done.

432
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: Let me give you your slogan. I'm trying to help.

433
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 1: I just told you what it is, man, trying to

434
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: help your Your slogan is Carl salad bar, Come for

435
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: the salad, leave with the canes next door in my woe.

436
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: Let me get my shipped out for that for that.

437
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: Wow wow, Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead and list your

438
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: ingredients again. Motherfucker. People have shipped to do Oh, I'm sorry, unders,

439
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: I must have left my mask in the car. Get

440
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: your ass over here, motherfucker. What's the dressing, because we're

441
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 1: coming for the dressing. The dressing is olive oil, salt

442
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 1: and pepper. Oh my god, that's not dressing it is.

443
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 1: That's pre dressing. So fucking good. No, that's the ship.

444
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: That's all you need. I learned that ship. That's just

445
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: how you get the lettuce wet, dude. That's how you

446
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: do it in Italy. I learned that ship in Italy, bro,

447
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: Italy brother. That's how you explained the most basic salad

448
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: that you specifically like. Didn't you hear it has spinach?

449
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: Oh it does, has spinach and arugula like every other

450
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 1: goddamn salad you've ever had. I love it, dude. I

451
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: don't need I eat it like every day. I fucking

452
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: love it. Everyone likes it. It's fine. What is setting

453
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: you apart? Dude? That was the most basic as salad

454
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: I've ever heard in my life. For real, That's what

455
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: I'm saying. You guys are talking about basic ass ship.

456
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 1: That is good. That's what you're talking talking about, the

457
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: best of the basics to the basic. You're talking about

458
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 1: a chicken nugget. No, we're not talking. Oh, you don't

459
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: know nothing. You don't know nothing, dude. I mean I'm

460
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: not talking to you. Oh we're talking about nuggets, dude,

461
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: they're tenders. Also, what's so good about it? The sauce?

462
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 1: I can contribute on the sauce like no other motherfucker can.

463
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: I got a secret mothering sauce that you all don't

464
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: even know about. I've had it. I've had it. And

465
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: how good is it? Blake? How good is my low

466
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: quat barbecue sauce? It's good? Thank you? Wait, you're what

467
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: your what sauce? Low quat barbecue sauce? Bro? What does

468
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 1: that mean? And what do you put it on? You

469
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 1: ever heard of a low quat? Or you too busy

470
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: eating nuggets fruit tenders? I've never heard of a low quat,

471
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 1: So blow my mind? Thank you? So look at that.

472
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: I just brought the motherfucking ingredient. Dog that doesn't make

473
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 1: it good because he hasn't heard of it. Dude, you

474
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 1: know it's good, Blake. I don't appreciate this. You sent

475
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 1: me a picture of you fucking drinking that ship. I

476
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: don't appreciate you taking their side. I did not send

477
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: a picture of me drinking. And that's a bush you're

478
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: sending a picture of. Oh it's all gone after one

479
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: fucking helping bro is a small helping, yeah, because he

480
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 1: had to drown out the disgusting salad with with whatever dressing,

481
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 1: whatever he made was on him. I just gave him

482
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: the bomb mass sauce. So if y'all want a partner

483
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: and you're putting this on like beyond meat or what,

484
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 1: what are you putting this barbecue sauce on. I put

485
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 1: it on beyond meat. I put it on impossible meat.

486
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 1: I throw it on fucking salads. If I really want

487
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: to dance, Matt beyond me. Yeah, nice, Matt beyond me.

488
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: That's a swim reference everyone at home who doesn't know,

489
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: I'm pissed. Now. I'm just saying, dude, y'all don't discount me,

490
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 1: because I'll come with the fire no matter what corner

491
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: I'm shoved in, all right, Jesus Christ, dude, all I'm

492
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: saying is, Christ, get your asked to a raisin canes.

493
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: They're delicious, and me, Blake and Honders will franchise our

494
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: own raising canes. And that's okay. You don't need to

495
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 1: be involved in this business venture that we have all

496
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: verbally agreed. And look, if you want a salad stand

497
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 1: outside of the Canes, let's talk. Actually, I'm so down

498
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 1: with this. You can park your salad RV in our

499
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: Canes parking lot and we won't shoot you out. Kyle's

500
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: r V salad sounds off the change. I'm so down

501
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: with this. And then we could say you want that

502
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: healthy ship, take it outside. I'm so down with this.

503
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,880
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. You want to change

504
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: the game with your salad skin croutons. Yeah. May remember

505
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: when we first it was like season one of Workaholics

506
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 1: and we're writing at Hollywood Production Center, which is just

507
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: a place that has a bunch offices that a lot

508
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: of people right their chosen and we were writing Workaholics

509
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: there season one and in the gym. I remember one

510
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 1: time Jamie Kennedy came in and was working and both

511
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: me and DERs were like, we were like talking, goofing around,

512
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 1: and then like he came in and both of us

513
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: both times stopped. Yeah, it was like Jamie Kennedy was

514
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: the biggest goddamn star. Talk about the globe. We had

515
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: a Jamie Kennedy experience of our own. Yeah, that was

516
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: our Jamie Kennedy experience. It was like Brad Pitt just

517
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: walked in. Both of us were like, immediately were quiet,

518
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 1: lifting heavier weights than we normally would. You's got on

519
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: the treadmill and just fucking sward in per zooming. That's cool.

520
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: The best part of I was immediately quiet, just like yeah,

521
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: just like head down working out extra hard, I think.

522
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: And by the way, he was pushing like a Bentley GT. Continental.

523
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: I had so many questions about that. But hey, Scream three,

524
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: Scream three, I think Jamie Kennedy might have over extended

525
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 1: himself a little bit. Hey Scream three, Yeah, you know

526
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: Scream three? Who knew Maliboo's most wanted Let's go very

527
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: funny movie. By the way, Yeah, didn't he do enough

528
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: work to get he didn't? Yeah, what's what was his

529
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: what did he do? Screen one? Two? Three? Uh? He

530
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: had the Jamie Kennedy experience. Scooby, Scooby doo, don't know

531
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: he had some ship? Okay, well, yeah, he had a

532
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: he had a solid run, He had a nice window.

533
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,719
Speaker 1: Bentley's come to those who work. And also wasn't he

534
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: with Jennifer love Hewitt for a while he was I

535
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: know the answer, and it's yes, God damn. Do you

536
00:29:54,400 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: remember Jennifer love he Wit in that era, in that era, like,

537
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: God damn, that's a grand slam. Yeah, yeah, baby. Because

538
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: Jamie Kennedy, for the few times I met him, it

539
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: seems like a great guy. Everyone and probably including Jamie

540
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: Kennedy will agree that he's not like, he's not a

541
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: stereotypical super handsome, hot guy. He wonder over with with

542
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 1: the ha ha oh God gave me hope. I was like,

543
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I was like, there we go. Yeah, that's

544
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Those types of relationships were always like, oh,

545
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: there is so much hope in this world. Yes, they

546
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: see past the face, they see past the hair, they

547
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 1: smell past the standship nice and there's such better people

548
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: that they really are. Women rule the fact that they

549
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: can look past all of our just gross ship are egotistical, bullshit,

550
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: ego testicles. And if you're funny or cool or whatever,

551
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: you can you can land a babe. Yeah man, Yeah,

552
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: if you tell me where Pennsylvania is, I've been to

553
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: Pennsylvania multiple times. I've been there a lot. Actually, do

554
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: not know where it is. If you told me like

555
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: to find it on a map, I would get in

556
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: the right area. I would be within a state or two.

557
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: It's upper right, but I don't know it's upper right. No, no,

558
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: it's not up What do you mean? Was it mid

559
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 1: right in the middle. It's kind of upper it's not. No,

560
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 1: it's not it's not total mid rights on the right.

561
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: It's on the right. It's on the right. It's the

562
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: long one on the right. But isn't that's Mississippi right

563
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: up by n Y. Is it kind of right by? No? No, no,

564
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: it's kind of near near, but it's it's it's above Virginia.

565
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: It's right above like Virginia, West Virginia, right above. And

566
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: that's how I said i'd get within this state or

567
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: tin Kentucky right, it's just above Kentucky creeps over to Ohio. Well,

568
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: I found a new segment for the podcast, Learn Our Geography. Yeah,

569
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: that's tough, break out the maps. Where do we live?

570
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: I don't know where New Hampshire, New England is a

571
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: whole mystery to me. New England is not a state,

572
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: like the fact that New York State is all that,

573
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: and then Manhattan is just that little tail blew my mind.

574
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: The first time I figured this out, it was like, bro,

575
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: you gotta learn your burrows. Oh yeah, boogie down, What

576
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: the the zoo? I'm good. I haven't spent much time

577
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: in upstate New York. Is Cornell in upstate New York? Hey?

578
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: You know what, it probably might be. It sounds like it.

579
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 1: It probably might be. Chances are totally could be Daniel Baldwin.

580
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 1: Is he the hottest Baldwin? No? No, no, Steven, Stephen

581
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 1: Steve Wait no, no no, sorry, sorry? No? Is it? Who's

582
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: Billy Baldwin? Billy Baldwin from Backdraft is the hot one? Oh? Yeah,

583
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: he's very hot? Correct that that Baldwin family. There's a

584
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: lot of honky honky did there's a lot of win

585
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: in those balls. I'll tell you it's Steven Baldwin biodome, Yes,

586
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: that is Biodome correct. Correct. Yeah, he's hot as ship too.

587
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: I think I find no one's saying he's not. I

588
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: find comedians hot, you know, but that's I guess it

589
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: might not be what we're talking about. That's true. And

590
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: he he had six style in that movie. He had

591
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: those little braids that was so sick, very influential. Were

592
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: they braids or white people? Dreads with like the egg?

593
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: I recall them being little like rubber band band like braids.

594
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: I don't think he had the dreads you. I'm telling you,

595
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: it's only going to grow. It's only gonna grow. So excited. Well,

596
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 1: I hope so, because right now those those two are

597
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: starting to wear out there world, Wait, there is one

598
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: other one? Alright, dead right? Yeah, we know. We've got

599
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: to memorize now that I said those two different read

600
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: different reads. Okay, come on, there's a there's oh right,

601
00:33:55,280 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 1: and then a alright, oh shit? Okay, alright, yeah, yeah,

602
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: that's a that's a good one. That one fits in

603
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 1: the convo a little better. See you was that you

604
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 1: were the board. I'm having trouble. I remember the first

605
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: night that I brought dirts around. He got in a

606
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: fight with our upstairs neighbors. Shouting match. Shouting match, A

607
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: shouting match, not a fist fight. I haven't heard that

608
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: term in a while. I gotta bring that back. We

609
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: were upstairs and for whatever reason, Derst was saying something

610
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 1: and they were like, what the funk are you doing here?

611
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: Who are you? Get out of here? But like you

612
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: guys lived in a duplex, so you guys were triplex

613
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: so yeah, you could try and plex me. So you

614
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: guys lived downstairs. Other people lived upstairs. It was like

615
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: a co party. I was upstairs and then everyone I

616
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 1: knew went downstairs and then they just turned me and

617
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 1: they're like, who the funk are you? And I was like,

618
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: I'm friends with the guys downstairs. And then some dudes

619
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 1: were like, get the funk out of here, and I

620
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: was like, whoa, hey man, they're flexing on you. They

621
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: triplex on me. You were too big for the party.

622
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: That's what happens that that only happens to big guys.

623
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 1: They never do that to me. People are like, you

624
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: could stay a little rascal. I did say. They were like,

625
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: get the funk out here, and I was like, okay,

626
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: carry me out. You drew a line with a neighbor.

627
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: It didn't go over well. And then he said you

628
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,240
Speaker 1: want me to carry you huh, because I will carry

629
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 1: you uh. And then I was like okay, I'll go.

630
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: And then they like went to to get Kyle and

631
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: I was like getting my DVDs back from Adam that

632
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: he had borrowed. Well, I was laying on I was

633
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: passed out on the couch, probably in like a puddle

634
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: of my own piss because I used to piss the

635
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:43,399
Speaker 1: foots on all the time. Know, you had just fought Adam. Yes,

636
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,959
Speaker 1: Kyle had just fought me. That doesn't mean I wasn't

637
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: in a puddle of my own piss. Sure that is true.

638
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: I'll pissed now. He might have pissed himself when he

639
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: kept showing me his hands high piss, kept showing me

640
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: his hands, saying, oh, you're so looking at and connect

641
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: with these big chick hands. Right. We talked about that story,

642
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: and this connects directly with this story because then I

643
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: remember waking up in a haze and hearing a shouting

644
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: match going on in my living room, to which I

645
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: took the side of my neighbors because I knew them.

646
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: I had no idea who the fuck you were at

647
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 1: that point, No idea, that's not And then I was

648
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,240
Speaker 1: getting my DVDs and it looked like I was stealing

649
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 1: from you, and you were like, oh, are you I'm like, yeah,

650
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: you were taking the Arrested Development DVD and the Jamie

651
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: Fox DVD. And I said, you can't fucking take those.

652
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: And I said these are my Those are adam friends DVDs.

653
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: I said, I think I'm Adam's friends because these are

654
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 1: my DVDs. I said, I miss her friend. And by

655
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: the way, me and Kyle have just gotten in a

656
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: fight forty minutes before this, and uh, I love that

657
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 1: Kyle standing up for my friends DVDs. Well, we got

658
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: in a fight over some bs with a girl. I was,

659
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: I can get past that easily. You know what I

660
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: mean is bros. You know what I mean. Kyle was

661
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: just looking to fight somebody that night. I think, yeah,

662
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:04,439
Speaker 1: he had demons. Yeah, he was trying to fight. Well,

663
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: this is you know I I it didn't stop. I

664
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: stopped drinking six years ago because when I got drunk,

665
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 1: I was looking for it, you know. And I said, Kyle,

666
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: why don't you carry me out? That this did catch?

667
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: Why don't you carry me out? Adam? How did that end?

668
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: Did you get in the middle of it? Well, I

669
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: remember coming into the room, like hearing you being like

670
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: there's a Radams Fred Stevie D's and then there's being like,

671
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: I think I'm Adam's Fred, and then you're like I

672
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: don't know you. And then I come in and I'm

673
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:42,359
Speaker 1: like that's my friend Kyle. I write with him. Oh,

674
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: this is who you've been sneaking off to to write. Huh,

675
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: that's what it was about, the jealousy. This is why

676
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: you won't improv with me. But our guitar hero was

677
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 1: all improv. Why do you think you need to write? Dude?

678
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: So real? Oh so that's why you missed we bowling

679
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: last week? Right? Okay, I thought we were in the league.

680
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: But that's why you missed we bowling practice. There's you

681
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 1: just you took off. I don't know. Did you walk

682
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: back to your place? You were wasted? I walked home

683
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: to West Hollywood. Jesus, how is that? Which? We were

684
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: mid city l A. Which that's a hell of a wa.

685
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: This is Miles and I'm wearing Clark's Wallabies. Let's just

686
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: say it wasn't a great water. No, no shade to wallabies.

687
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: No shade to wallabies. We're looking for a sponsor. I

688
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: just don't walk four miles in them. Yeah, they're more

689
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 1: for pimping. And then the next day Adams like, you

690
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: want to go see a movie And I'm like what

691
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: movies like Kung Fu Hustle And I'm like, yeah, I'll

692
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: go see that, and then when we get there, who

693
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,800
Speaker 1: else is there? Guess who's there? Panders is there? Yeah,

694
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: he arranged this whole thing. He arranged it so we

695
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 1: could squash the beef match. Make a match maker, make

696
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: me a match learn how to improv, learn how to write?

697
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,879
Speaker 1: And we love that movie, didn't we? Unders? It's so good?

698
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 1: And do you remember what I said? Yes, said carry

699
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 1: me to my seat? I oh god, damn Blake trying

700
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 1: to get my little joke on, and you're just like, sorry, Brad, alright,

701
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 1: Blake's heating up, You're going in this movie? Would you

702
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 1: mind carrying you in? I remember the first time I

703
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 1: asked Honders if if he wanted to if we wanted

704
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,879
Speaker 1: to write together, or if we should write together, hang

705
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 1: out or whatever. I remember I my car had broken

706
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: down and our X roommate Christine was there to pick

707
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 1: me up, and she was like, from Second City where

708
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 1: we were doing improv together. Yeah, well, I was getting

709
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: We had just done improv class and we're coming out

710
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: of class and Dirts was so funny. And I remember

711
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,439
Speaker 1: standing on the corner like like I'm asking a dude

712
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: out and was like, yeah, so you're really funny dude.

713
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you two man, you're really funny. Uh do

714
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: you want to like get together and like riot or

715
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: like you know, figure something out? And Doors was like,

716
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: oh hell yeah, yeah you know, here's my number. Stand up.

717
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:11,800
Speaker 1: That's crazy man. Yeah, okay, thank you, I'll do balls

718
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 1: and uh And then Christine was like honking at me

719
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: and she goes, Adam, what the funk are you doing?

720
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: And I get in there in the car and she

721
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: was like what was that about? And I'm like, I'm

722
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 1: sucking him. I think I'm gonna suck this guy. I

723
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: think I'll be sucking yeah, baby, Dirs will rock the

724
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: popped collar, which I never pulled that look off and

725
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 1: never attempted, but I respect I respect Derves for having

726
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: multiple lacost polos that he would probably we gotta dig some.

727
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: Do you have any photos of those? Did you ever

728
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: rock the double double polo? Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah,

729
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yah yeah yeah. Oh god, that's so sick.

730
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 1: There was a gray and then like this kind of

731
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: like like pink ish, like a like a fucking dull magenta,

732
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,439
Speaker 1: and I'd wear that under the gray and it would

733
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: look fucking good. I'm not mad at a pop collar.

734
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,439
Speaker 1: Still but the double pop. Yeah, I don't give a fuck.

735
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 1: That's kind of ridiculous. How many colors did you wear

736
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:19,439
Speaker 1: just to Yeah? I mean two is so dumb a lot,

737
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: but two is one more than you need? Yeah, it's

738
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: more than you need? Is it? The is it this?

739
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: It's the same shirt twice? Right, that's what that's what

740
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,800
Speaker 1: it is? Yeah? Yeah? Or was there one without buttons

741
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: or something? No? No, no, it's it was just two

742
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: lacos polos. I mean, what would be real sick is

743
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 1: if you had one that like sewed into colors. Yeah,

744
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 1: that'd be so tight. Who started wearing two polo shirts? That?

745
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: Somebody who's sucking smart DERs and his crew. I'm gonna

746
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 1: guess it was like t I. I'm gonna say it

747
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: was grand hustle. Actually, nobody in my crew would do it.

748
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: Nobody in my crew would rock like that. You're on

749
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: some cool ship. Hey, what happened to the sleeves? Did

750
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: the sleeves show two colors too? I didn't know. I'm

751
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 1: sure somebody pulled the sleeves. You could. I just liked

752
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: having like a little color pop around my neck. Yeah, no,

753
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: that's dope. I'm into that, bro. I'm into that for you,

754
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 1: and why not wearing ascot I kind of liked, yeah,

755
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: you're right, I could have done that, but on the

756
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: spectrum of greasy to fibric. Yeah, baby, in a weird way,

757
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: I love the like pageantry of prep style. Like I

758
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 1: was like, this is ridiculous. I'm a person who wears

759
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: two collars. I'm a person who has like their shirt

760
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: over their shoulders and tied. Who does that anymore or ever? Does?

761
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: Sounds like you're a speech Like, yes, I'm a person.

762
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 1: My name is Anders. I wear a sweater over my shoulders.

763
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 1: Hiders have been known to pop collars, didn't they also

764
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: do the embroidery. Did you ever do that where it

765
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: was like you could get like embroidery on those shirts

766
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: like your names? Does that not a thing? Yeah? I

767
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 1: thought you would get it or on the on the

768
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 1: bottom of the collar where you'd pop it up on

769
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 1: the back of the collar that'd be stuff. So when

770
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: you pop it there's something there. Why Yeah, h that's

771
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: a bad bro remember that real? Yeah, I don't know

772
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 1: if I ever had anything like that. See, I was

773
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 1: always jealous of that look because I agree it's just

774
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,439
Speaker 1: so absurd that I wanted to do it so bad.

775
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: Remember that time I came in the Workholics writer's room

776
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: and I was like three hours later or something, and

777
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, sorry, guys, I'm so late. I actually the

778
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: craziest thing happened to me last night and this morning.

779
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: And you guys were like, Okay, what traffic or something again?

780
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: Another big pop, We'll do it again. What happened at him?

781
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: What happened another crazy night? Okay? And the night before

782
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 1: me and Blake roommates. Blake's X comes to me and

783
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, I'm some weird guy gave me this

784
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: envelope to give to you. Told me not to look

785
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 1: in it, and I go, uh, yeah, I don't know.

786
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 1: It must be my manager's office or my agent's office

787
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 1: or something with the something Hollywood residuals. It's part of

788
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: my team. I don't know, it seems Hollywood. I opened

789
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: it up and it was a letter from the guy

790
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 1: that said of like the l a county person that

791
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: lets you know if you have aids. Oh fuck, yeah, dude,

792
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: I remember, Yeah, do you remember this story? Yes, it's bizarre,

793
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 1: and so I try to call I call in the

794
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: office right away. It was too late. I got home

795
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: late at night. He opens up his office at nine am.

796
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 1: So at nine am, I'm like, can't Obviously I can't sleep.

797
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 1: I think I have AIDS and so the AIDS capital

798
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 1: a capital. I I think both capital d ns all

799
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 1: stand for something. It all stands for something. Not sure,

800
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: no way to tell Adam, Adam, you idiot. You've done

801
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: sex to your life away. You've done sex your life.

802
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: Adam the idiot done sexiest life, sexiest life away. I

803
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: think that's what it is. So the next morning, I

804
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: can't sleep at all. I call in and get ahold

805
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: of the guy and he's like, as I'm sure you

806
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:59,280
Speaker 1: know you've tested positive for HIV. So crazy the HIV virus,

807
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: I guess. And I'm like, uh, hold up, now, what's that? No,

808
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: I didn't, and I had gotten a STD test in Omaha,

809
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 1: Nebraska when I was I was back home visiting my family,

810
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, I'm going to

811
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,320
Speaker 1: go to my local doctor. Just get the whole gamut

812
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 1: of tests. It's a safe thing to do in your

813
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: early toy for old time's sake. When you're home. I

814
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 1: was like, you know, twenty four or something. I was

815
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: like all right, And so I did that in Omaha

816
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 1: and then I go and this is in California where

817
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: this is happening, and he's like, well, you have it's

818
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, I do not, and he goes, you do.

819
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: And that's the first stage of denial, is saying you

820
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: don't have it. We're here for you. We're here for you.

821
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 1: It's very common, and we're here for you, and I

822
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 1: will drive over to your house right now to talk

823
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: to you about it. I'm like, you do not have

824
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 1: to do that. I do not have AIDS. I just

825
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: got tested my my doctor back home. He says, I'm

826
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: all good, I'm in the clear, and he goes, he

827
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 1: says that you have AIDS or HIV. And so I

828
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: call my doctor. The nurse goes, what the fuck. When

829
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 1: I tell her this story, she said, what the fuck

830
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: the fuck? And I'm like yeah, and she goes, um

831
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: uh hang on, puts me on hold for like ten minutes,

832
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,359
Speaker 1: the scariest ten minutes of my life. The whole time

833
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: exactly where I'm just thinking I have AIDS. My whole

834
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: life is turned upside down. I could die. And they

835
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,240
Speaker 1: came back on the line. They're like the doctor won't

836
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: speak with you. He's pissed because he thinks that I'm

837
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 1: going to sue him. And I go, well, do I

838
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 1: have AIDS? And they're like, no, from the test that

839
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 1: we took from you, you do not have AIDS or

840
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 1: any STD and UH or anything. And I go, what

841
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 1: the fuck. She's like, that's what I said. Yeah, somehow

842
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: they sent over that I have AIDS to California. No

843
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 1: idea how this happened. The most insane thing. I probably

844
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: could have sued for a fortune, and that's why the

845
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: doctor didn't talk to me. And then I talk to

846
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: this guy again and he like still didn't believe me.

847
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 1: And then I got like a CD test the next

848
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: day and I was I was all good, Right, so

849
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: it was it did come from your doctor in Omaha.

850
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: You didn't get tested in California. Also, right, my doctor

851
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:18,359
Speaker 1: said that I had AIDS. Dude, that's so scary that

852
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: we got to get to the bottom of this, and

853
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm glad we're putting it out there on the podcast

854
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: so that the millions of listeners can get to the

855
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: bottom of this, because what the fuck millions billions bitch, yeah,

856
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,959
Speaker 1: oh my be I mean, you're probably not the only

857
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 1: person who's been misdiagnosed with HIV. I mean, that's just

858
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 1: so frightening. What the fuck? What was so scary is

859
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: it wasn't like it wasn't a practical joke. It wasn't

860
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,279
Speaker 1: like I came in the office and you guys are

861
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 1: like gotch, which would have been amazing any lead level slam.

862
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 1: Like I looked up via the Google that this guy

863
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 1: is the guy to tell you that you have hivya.

864
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: We set up that page, official letter head, like the

865
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 1: whole thing. It was absolutely terrifying. I mean, any time

866
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 1: you go in for any kind of STD test, it's

867
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 1: extremely nerve racking. Even if you know you've been good.

868
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: As soon as you take the test, you're like, I've

869
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 1: got something. I'm fu Yeah, You're like, oh yeah, dude.

870
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: Anytime you've ever like it's your balls, you're like that

871
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: something that's something. Yeah, for sure. I remember working at

872
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:28,280
Speaker 1: like b J's Pizza allegedly and just like after taking

873
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 1: a STD test and I'm like, my dick just does

874
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: not feel good. There's like crystals in it or something.

875
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: I got the one STD that produces crystals, so sick. Yeah,

876
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 1: that's a good one. Sea monkeys and something. Well, you

877
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 1: look up and then you google, like, my dick feels

878
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 1: like it has crystals, and you google it and it's like,

879
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: sure enough, that is something. If you anytime there's any

880
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:56,879
Speaker 1: sort of sickness, crystallization this shaft of your cock, that's bad.

881
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: That's bad. That is uh that's her be simple skew

882
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 1: herpie sintax syntax. That's the queue complex huh sintext what

883
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm coming rocks. I'm coming rocks, Syria. I'm coming rocks.

884
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: Is that a problem? Coming rocks? But it shouldn't have rocks? Right, Hey,

885
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: what's up? I'm blake it here to talk about coming rocks,

886
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 1: but it shouldn't have rocks herpie sintext cue. It's not

887
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,840
Speaker 1: a game. Definitely not a game to play with. Not

888
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 1: a game. Rocks hurt, really hurts. Sticks and stones may break.

889
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: My Oh god, that guy is sick over there, he's sick.

890
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 1: This is when we need soundboards. Alrighty then he said

891
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 1: it not me allegedly. For those of you at home

892
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: who can't see, Kyle has a junkyard of words tattooed

893
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 1: on his back and shoulder, the likes of name, name

894
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: two words, name the two best hummus Jillian and Essential

895
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 1: and as Essential spelled correctly. You tell me, man, I

896
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 1: can't look at this thing. Yes, So he got he

897
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: like wrote a bunch of sentences down and then like

898
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 1: that meant something to him and then put it on

899
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 1: his back and had the tattoo artists jumble up the

900
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 1: words and put it on his back. Wasn't really an artist,

901
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 1: it was just a friend. Yeah, it was. It was

902
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 1: a buddy who I gripped with, who got a tattoo

903
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,719
Speaker 1: gun and he wanted to practice, and so I was like,

904
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 1: what's the harmon doing words? Just write words on my shoulder.

905
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's what it is. Just do you have

906
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:50,760
Speaker 1: the original sentences? No? No, you forgot You completely forgot

907
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,359
Speaker 1: all the sentences? Or do you remember some of them

908
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: or for the most part, No, I don't care to

909
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: know what they were. I don't think. That's not the

910
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: point of it. I mean, it's like it was a

911
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 1: moment thing. It was like, also, I lost them, and

912
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: I was very sad when I lost them, but I

913
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: have to own it now because there's no way I

914
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 1: can go back and find them. So it's just like

915
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 1: it's part of the art. Yeah, you're like, no, it's

916
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: a moment thing. You for sure wish you could remember them.

917
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,800
Speaker 1: Why don't you write all the words down, have someone

918
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: read them aloud to write them down, and then try

919
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 1: to mix them back together from memory to maybe what

920
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: those sentences might have been. It just doesn't interest me.

921
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 1: I think it just it doesn't interest me either. I

922
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: think it's boring. Yeah, it just is what it is,

923
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,360
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, just a bunch of random

924
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 1: words on my back, right shoulder, and that's where it

925
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,959
Speaker 1: kind of stopped. I don't know if it's random. I

926
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 1: think you're scared to know what you wrote down. No,

927
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 1: I remember what it was. I mean, I have like

928
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 1: the word insane. I have like the word beer. I

929
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:59,279
Speaker 1: have like the word mom, dad, insane, mom beer. I

930
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 1: want to know what beer is? Why are you picking

931
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 1: insane beer and mom together? Humans? Real? I passed and

932
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 1: shout out hate, Kyle? Do you have any other tattoos

933
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: besides the um the words on your back? Do you

934
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:18,720
Speaker 1: have any like real the thirteen year old emo prison tat?

935
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 1: What is that? Well, you weren't thirteen, you were like seven,

936
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 1: I know, but that's what somebody called it once and

937
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 1: it was the funniest thing. Yeah, that's funny. I have

938
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 1: Adam is frozen in the funniest way right now. I

939
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 1: thought he was making that face. I thought he was

940
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 1: making that face and held it because he was so astonished.

941
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: He is all the way eyebrows all the way up,

942
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:51,399
Speaker 1: touching his hair like wide eyed at Kyle's explanation. Yeah,

943
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: it's pretty great. Wait, Kyle, so what is this? What

944
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,320
Speaker 1: is this tattoo with the other one. The other tattoo

945
00:52:56,440 --> 00:53:01,280
Speaker 1: is a Japanese character that just means gob on. That's correct.

946
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 1: You think it means that? Well, right, I've had multiple

947
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 1: people on sets tell me that it's upside down, it's sideways.

948
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 1: Somebody actually told me it means golden showers. Who are

949
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 1: these people? These are just sucking honkings that made the

950
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 1: same joke as me and then sucking. They're just people

951
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 1: on sets that claimed they know Japanese. Uh. And so

952
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, well that means golden shower, Yeah exactly, alrighty,

953
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: then you gotta get one of these boards, bro. I

954
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,959
Speaker 1: got it in Huntington's when I was eighteen years old.

955
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: That was Is that still a like a thing because

956
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 1: that was a hot trend for a minute to get

957
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: a little Japanese like word in Japanese or Chinese? Was it?

958
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 1: I thought it was what is your what language is yours? Well,

959
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: I mean he has no idea. Japanese. Well that's this

960
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 1: is what. I pulled it out of a book and

961
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: it said it was Japanese, right, Well, it would be

962
00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 1: what Mandarin? Well that's Chinese. No, No, it would be Panese. Motherfucker. Yeah, Japanese. Japanese. No,

963
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 1: I was talking about it. If it was Chinese, I

964
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, yes, Cantonese. Yeah, it's all Greek to me.

965
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 1: Is that funny? Yeah? But I rolled to the tattoo

966
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 1: shop like I didn't even know what I was going

967
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 1: to get. I was just moved out of my house

968
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: and moved to Newport and got on the bus and

969
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to go get a tattoo. That's

970
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:22,800
Speaker 1: just what's going to happen today. I'm gonna go beyond.

971
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,320
Speaker 1: It was either that or getting a Prince Edward or

972
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 1: whatever the funk it is when you get a thing

973
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 1: through the end of your dick. Prince Albert, Yeah, Prince Albert.

974
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 1: I really wish Kyle would have gotten a weird piercing

975
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 1: I had. I used to have my lip and my

976
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 1: ears and and all that, like I had. I don't

977
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 1: remember you having a pierced lip. When did you have that? Yeah?

978
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 1: I did my lip when I worked at vans in

979
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,879
Speaker 1: Newport Beach. Like that's part for the course. Yeah, yeah,

980
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 1: that was the thing back then, the lip Pierce who

981
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 1: was that blank? Started that? Tom Tom DeLong had a

982
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: pierced lip for a while. Yeah, it looked good. I

983
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 1: really liked it, right right, Yeah, I really wanted one too,

984
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 1: but never too late. I never I didn't went the

985
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,839
Speaker 1: hole there you get the zip for life kind of thing.

986
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 1: It looks like is that a zip? Oh yeah, I

987
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 1: wonder if that's what this is. Oh no, it's a

988
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 1: mistake on the boat. What's nice is you wake up

989
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 1: and you've been drinking the night before, okay, pretty heavily. Yeah,

990
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,720
Speaker 1: and you got to take the edge off in order

991
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:27,919
Speaker 1: to drive the boat back home from the island from Catalina, right,

992
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: So you it's it's an hour and a half drive,

993
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's out there. You're going to be

994
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: in the middle of the ocean, so you gotta take

995
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: the edge off, right, What I do morning beers. Yeah,

996
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 1: so you just get drunk. I have two beers six morning.

997
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,760
Speaker 1: It's all right. Now, I have two beers in the morning,

998
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 1: cores light on mixed with spicy tomatoes tomato juice. Yeah,

999
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 1: bloody Mary, my, bloody Mary mix. You. This is you

1000
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 1: saying you're getting drunk before driving your boat. You just

1001
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 1: said you don't do it. No, no, no, no, hang buzzed.

1002
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:10,359
Speaker 1: Boat driving is not drunk allegedly. That's that's not drying,

1003
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 1: that's not driving. That's not drunk driving. You you gotta

1004
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,320
Speaker 1: have to to level yourself out, Kyle. It's been a

1005
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 1: while since you've been in the game. I think you

1006
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,879
Speaker 1: forgot the level. There's levels to this show. Okay, our

1007
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 1: smartest friends. It would be more dangerous for Adam to

1008
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 1: drive the boat before he consumed more outall Blake as

1009
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:32,759
Speaker 1: my smartest friend. Thank you for saying that, because it

1010
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,760
Speaker 1: would be more dangerous for me to not have two

1011
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: morning beers before taking that two thousand pound vessel and

1012
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 1: soaring it home going as fast as I can. Yeah, yes,

1013
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: I odd on quay ludes. When I was two, uh,

1014
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 1: famously tight sentence. Yeah, and so my mom took me

1015
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 1: to her neighbor's house because her neighbor was having issues

1016
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 1: with her boyfriend, sat me down on the couch. She

1017
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 1: was talking with the woman trying to calm her down.

1018
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:05,760
Speaker 1: Turns out she was having issues with her boyfriend because

1019
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:10,320
Speaker 1: she caught her boyfriend dealing drugs. Meanwhile, I'm on this couch,

1020
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 1: the couch that I ended up having and sleeping on

1021
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: for years because they gave us a couch because I

1022
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: almost died on it. But uh, I was on the

1023
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 1: sitting on the couch and my mom was like, Adam,

1024
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: what do you got in your mouth? And she turns

1025
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 1: around and I'm like being all naughty face, you know.

1026
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 1: I was like, no, nothing, but I'm like little kids,

1027
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 1: I'm not saying words, and I just have a mouthful

1028
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 1: of stuff and uh, so good nothing and well this

1029
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: is just for what my mom said. And then like

1030
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: wouldn't give her what was in my mouth and I

1031
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 1: had swallowed a bunch of it or whatever, and she

1032
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 1: finally like grips ahold of my face and opens up

1033
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: my mouth and fishes out these pills. And then she

1034
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 1: looks in the crevice of the couch where I had

1035
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: like stuff. Something was a half empty bag of pills

1036
00:57:55,560 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 1: and this guy had a bag a baggy of quayluds. Yeah,

1037
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 1: and then uh yeah, and then uh, some guy showed

1038
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 1: up at the house and was looking for the boyfriend,

1039
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 1: obviously to buy drugs. My mom thinks it's an angel.

1040
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:13,720
Speaker 1: And my mom's like, you have to stick at the hospital.

1041
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: And the guy's like okay, and then he takes them

1042
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 1: the wrong way and doesn't stop at a hospital, stops

1043
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: at a CVS or whatever it was called at the time,

1044
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 1: you know, a pharmacy, and he goes in, gets epikac,

1045
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 1: comes right out. I puked all over his truck, takes

1046
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:29,560
Speaker 1: me to a hospital and they were like, he probably

1047
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't have made it all the way to the hospital.

1048
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 1: It was good that he puked before then. Yeah, the

1049
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: guy knew that you needed to get it out of

1050
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: your system. Damn. Yeah. And my mom's like, he's an angel.

1051
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 1: And was he wearing a white hat or something. That's

1052
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,600
Speaker 1: what my mom says. He's wearing a white cowboy hat. Yeah,

1053
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 1: And my mom's like he was because we're in Oklahoma

1054
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: City at the time, and I guess people were cowboy

1055
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 1: hats there in the eighties. And and my mom's like

1056
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 1: he's an angel. My dad's like sounds like he's a

1057
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 1: drug addict. The fact that he knows how to exactly

1058
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 1: you go to the pharmacy, you get epicac. They coughed

1059
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 1: it up. It's a problem totally right away. You had

1060
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: that knowledge otherwise, you know, So that's cool. The Walt

1061
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 1: Reems was like, you're back. Yeah the cock, Hey, hey,

1062
00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: cock number for the discount. I'll take another. Thank you.

1063
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 1: This it's a baby. Actually, this side it's a baby.

1064
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 1: This one you next week. I had a shirt that

1065
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 1: said in Nebraska, big cock country, and then it showed

1066
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 1: a pheasant. You know. I rocked that to school every

1067
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 1: day and the teachers couldn't say ship. They were like,

1068
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 1: this is inappropriate, and I'm like, no, it's not a peasant.

1069
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 1: Is a cock? Is a feast? Cock? Is a feasant?

1070
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 1: A cock? Is it a cocktail? It's not a cock though?

1071
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 1: Is a feasant a cock? Though? It's a cock? Though?

1072
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 1: You guys silly, I'm still gonna sendence. It's like phone

1073
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 1: sex when we were kids, Like yeah, and you could

1074
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 1: just chat it when a second. It's like phone sex

1075
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 1: when we were kids. Yeah, you would be like, well,

1076
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 1: I know what you're talking about it. It was like, yeah,

1077
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 1: you get a all of a credit card, you dial

1078
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 1: it in hell, yeah, dude, And then you were like

1079
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 1: hot wamby blamies for only one minute. I will like

1080
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Wait? Will the boys have conquered

1081
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 1: Kyle and Blake? Will you tell everyone out there about

1082
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: the number you would call to find out the time? Multiple?

1083
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 1: Mona yeah, multiple? It was mona. Yeah you could because

1084
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 1: what was the thing you used to be able to call?

1085
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: A thing called like popcorn. Yeah, it was like six

1086
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 1: seven six one or one two three four. It's spelled

1087
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 1: like popcorn. And this one was like seven six seven

1088
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 1: one two three four. They switched some. It was like

1089
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 1: a joke. Just stop talking about it and explain. You

1090
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 1: call it so popcorn? You call and you got the time.

1091
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 1: It was say at the beep the Pacific standard time

1092
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 1: is this? That's the content. Back in the day when

1093
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 1: when nobody had a cell phone that was all synced

1094
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 1: up to the same thing, you had to watch and

1095
01:00:58,160 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: you would have to call a number and it would

1096
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 1: say at the tone the time is exactly blah, and

1097
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 1: you would go boop and synchronize your watch. But in

1098
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 1: Conquered you have. Yeah, some sick person in the Bay

1099
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 1: Area made Mona that would be like, at in to

1100
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:22,080
Speaker 1: what is it At the sound of the moan, It'll

1101
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 1: be two o'clock. But she would say, at the sound

1102
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 1: of the moan, it will be four thirty sex, right,

1103
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: And that's how you got your tie. And it was

1104
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 1: free and you could call and beat off because you

1105
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 1: know that that was happening. Yeah, man, do you call

1106
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 1: it from the house phone? They're like, mom picks up

1107
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 1: the mom on the phone. I'm on the phone. The

1108
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 1: sound of the moan, it's four sex. Dude. I called that.

1109
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 1: I called that number so many times outside a Mountain

1110
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 1: Mike's Pizza, just to confirm that she was saying sex

1111
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,480
Speaker 1: instead of six. And that was like the fucking hottest

1112
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 1: thing to eight year old maids. Also whose mom did that.

1113
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:13,440
Speaker 1: She was such a trooper. Shout out to Mona trooper.

1114
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:18,240
Speaker 1: You really killed it, a pioneer. It was a local number.

1115
01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: It had to be free, right, No one's it was

1116
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: just a local number. It was like so tight. Yeah,

1117
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 1: it's like nine to five, you just call it. It

1118
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,880
Speaker 1: was the homies, mom, it was the neighbor. You know.

1119
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:33,080
Speaker 1: It was a guy at the top. It was a

1120
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:36,160
Speaker 1: dude who's like the mound. Yeah, this is San Francisco.

1121
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,479
Speaker 1: People were pulling some wool over eyes. There's no way.

1122
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: There's no way. There's absolutely no way, you chick, I

1123
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 1: want you to have that like piccolo playing dude with

1124
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 1: like the hair, like dancing. Oh ship, I know that

1125
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 1: fool's name too. He's like the burning Man Insignia. It's

1126
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 1: another band. It's like, um, some fucking jam bands, Insignia. Yeah,

1127
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 1: he's like a little fish. It's like it's either like

1128
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 1: fish or something. It's like who Grant Smith is all about, widespread,

1129
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 1: widespread panic, widespread panic. String cheese incident, one of those

1130
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 1: string cheese. String cheese incident is pretty dagn good. String

1131
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,280
Speaker 1: cheese snack food is pretty day. I'm good. I was

1132
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 1: like that. I just did that for the opening. I

1133
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 1: wanted somebody to pull that clip. Yes, string cheese is

1134
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 1: pretty good. Alrighty did grand Smith, who was our DP

1135
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 1: on six of the seven seasons of Workaholics and who

1136
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: kind of came up with us filming internet videos and

1137
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 1: stuff for us, and then we we sort of grew

1138
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 1: up together as far as that stuff goes. I remember

1139
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 1: we went to his birthday party one year at the

1140
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:52,280
Speaker 1: will Turn and I think we saw a string cheese incident.

1141
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 1: What didn't is that would have been widespread panic. Widespread panic, Okay.

1142
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 1: And I remember going there. I mean, I don't mean

1143
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 1: to shift on these type of bands. It's just not

1144
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 1: my thing. But I was there because you know, it's

1145
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 1: Grant's birthday. Is a fun thing to do. And I

1146
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 1: remember seeing two people meet for the first time. They

1147
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 1: were both funked up on drugs, and he was carrying

1148
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 1: two beers and he bumps into her and he spills

1149
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 1: this whole beer on this girl, and this girl's like mad.

1150
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 1: I clocked that. Half hour later, I see them, uh

1151
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:25,840
Speaker 1: like just grinding on each other. Half hour after that,

1152
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:29,040
Speaker 1: I clocked them fully making out. He has his hands

1153
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 1: down her pants. Yeah, the end of the show, I

1154
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: caught them. They're full on fighting, as if they've been

1155
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 1: a couple for three years, and this is like the

1156
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:43,480
Speaker 1: blowout that ends at all. And then I saw him,

1157
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:46,560
Speaker 1: the guy as I'm walking leaving to like go to

1158
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 1: our car, I saw him crying in the parking lot

1159
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 1: and I'm like this, that's why people like those jam bands.

1160
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 1: It's because it's a immersive experience. You can live a

1161
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 1: lifetime in three hours. Yeah. Also the show's last the

1162
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 1: long ast time too. Yeah. Jampans are kind of like,

1163
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 1: I don't know why people are so die hard about them.

1164
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 1: It is interesting how they just attract. Like, you know

1165
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 1: what it is. It's an excuse to do drugs and

1166
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 1: get funked up. That's everything. Yeah, Yeah, you're right. That's

1167
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 1: why I'm trying to get into like fishing. I'm like,

1168
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:23,680
Speaker 1: you know what, that'll be a good excuse to just

1169
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 1: drink with my buddies on a boat. Yeah. And that's

1170
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: why people when they get older, they're like, yeah, maybe

1171
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 1: I'm deep into golf because then they get to take

1172
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 1: three hours once or twice a week to be like, honey,

1173
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 1: I'm playing golf with the guys. You're drunk, guys. The

1174
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,640
Speaker 1: name of the thing, by the way, it's called Coco pelt. Yes,

1175
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 1: it's like a Native American symbol, right, it's been co

1176
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 1: opted by honkeys as we suck man. Sorry, I'm gonna

1177
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 1: slap that on my car the worst. But who was

1178
01:05:57,160 --> 01:06:00,880
Speaker 1: the dude who the homie drew? Like, initially, I want

1179
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 1: to know who was the guy rocking out on that

1180
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 1: flute where the guy was like, I'm about to draw

1181
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:08,080
Speaker 1: the homy coco real quick. He's like, wait, stay right there.

1182
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,160
Speaker 1: Well it was on cave paintings. I'm looking at this

1183
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 1: and it says it was on cave paintings. Seven jam

1184
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 1: bands have been around that long. They've been jamming for

1185
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:22,880
Speaker 1: that long back in the day. I think, imagine how

1186
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 1: long the concerts were back then when they didn't even

1187
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:28,440
Speaker 1: really no time and they were just like jamming. That

1188
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 1: drumbeat didn't stop. Yeah, like that was probably fucking week

1189
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 1: long concerts. Welcome to this is important. How long we're drumbeats? Alrighty?

1190
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:45,600
Speaker 1: Then the everlasting drumbeat. It still continues to this day.

1191
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 1: It's right here, brother in the heart, surmising of John Stamos,

1192
01:06:50,720 --> 01:06:53,240
Speaker 1: how he's like flawless, but then he has like a

1193
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:58,480
Speaker 1: crazy belly button. I guess what, Okay, John Stamos has

1194
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:02,480
Speaker 1: like he has like a weird like gnarl crumpled up

1195
01:07:02,520 --> 01:07:07,800
Speaker 1: belly button. You got kid, wow, And thank god he

1196
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 1: does exactly because he's too sexy. You gotta have one thing.

1197
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 1: I bet Brad Pitt just nasty breath. He's got to

1198
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 1: have something. He's too sexy. No, I actually Brad Pitt

1199
01:07:17,760 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 1: doesn't have a butthole. He doesn't. Oh he ships out

1200
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 1: of his dick hole. I've heard that he does. I've

1201
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 1: heard that allegedly would be so bad. I like this.

1202
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 1: I like that. We've gone to Emmy and gossip. Yeah. Hey,

1203
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:37,200
Speaker 1: we're Hollywood, baby, this is important, babyyood, We're Hollywood. Each

1204
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:41,960
Speaker 1: wood dog. Speaking of pre Uber, when me and Blake

1205
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:45,960
Speaker 1: were leaving Barney's Beanery one time, which is like a

1206
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:49,400
Speaker 1: you know, a classic dive bar in Hollywood, and it

1207
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 1: was right when we had turned twenty one, and we

1208
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 1: would go there and like by a picture of beer

1209
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 1: and then also like have sodas and mix our own

1210
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,680
Speaker 1: booze into the soda. But we got really funked up

1211
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,360
Speaker 1: one night and I was driving his home and it

1212
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:05,600
Speaker 1: was his pre Uber and we're like, I can't afford

1213
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:09,400
Speaker 1: a taxi, and then we drive out and I rear

1214
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:13,280
Speaker 1: end someone as we were leaving, like that first red light. Right,

1215
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 1: it wasn't a super hard rear end, but no, it wasn't.

1216
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,680
Speaker 1: It was just like a my reaction time is a

1217
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:21,719
Speaker 1: little slow, and I didn't hit the break quite in time,

1218
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 1: but it was like it happened, and we were like

1219
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 1: it did happen? And I put it in park and

1220
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm like fuck. And I get out of the car

1221
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:30,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm so sorry, man, and he goes,

1222
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:33,759
Speaker 1: did you just leave Barney's Beanery? And I'm like, uh huh,

1223
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:36,280
Speaker 1: and he goes, you've been drinking and I'm like yeah,

1224
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:38,360
Speaker 1: and he goes me too, Let's get the funk out

1225
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:43,080
Speaker 1: of here. Yeah. I just told that story. And look,

1226
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to advocate for drunk driving at all,

1227
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:51,759
Speaker 1: but it is the most fun thing possible. Oh my god.

1228
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 1: I remember this guy I knew in high school who

1229
01:08:56,120 --> 01:09:00,640
Speaker 1: like such a fucking dork, but like I guess he

1230
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,000
Speaker 1: was like I got a good body or something. He

1231
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:06,679
Speaker 1: became you can admit. The guy was fucking jack Yeah, dude,

1232
01:09:06,720 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 1: what's up? The guy was ripped, but he was just

1233
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:12,720
Speaker 1: a dork. And and he would be at the mall shirtless,

1234
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:14,680
Speaker 1: and we're all like, look at this fucking dork. What

1235
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,640
Speaker 1: he looks like? Such an idiot? And then immediately, like

1236
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,599
Speaker 1: all the hot chicks were like, oh my god, he's

1237
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:23,240
Speaker 1: actually kind of cute, like and you're like, I've got it.

1238
01:09:23,479 --> 01:09:27,680
Speaker 1: Take my pants off and sit outside hot topic. I

1239
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:36,000
Speaker 1: have to take my pants off and sit outside Wetzels Press. Kyle,

1240
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:39,200
Speaker 1: you've been to the Venice Beach Drum Circle. This is

1241
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:43,320
Speaker 1: a world famous drum circle that happens like every Sunday

1242
01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:46,200
Speaker 1: in Venice Beach. Yeah, I've been done. And it's like

1243
01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:51,400
Speaker 1: hundreds of people, bonfires and drums. What goes down there, dude,

1244
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:54,639
Speaker 1: it's just a lot of trying to keep the rhythm

1245
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:57,839
Speaker 1: and a lot of people trying to stand out amongst

1246
01:09:57,880 --> 01:10:00,320
Speaker 1: the rhythm. And you're like, that's kind of just sucking

1247
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:02,840
Speaker 1: it up, but like, come on, but it is kind

1248
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:05,960
Speaker 1: of cool when everybody's like going. And it's the same reason,

1249
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:08,600
Speaker 1: like you know, jamming is fun. Wait, like if you

1250
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,360
Speaker 1: play an instrument. But I think we did, Emma and I, yeah,

1251
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 1: I saw your wife there once. Did. Yeah did. Ten

1252
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:16,559
Speaker 1: years ago. Emma and I were like training for a

1253
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:19,040
Speaker 1: marathon on the boardwalk and we were like, well this

1254
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 1: is fucking insane and dirty. And you came out and

1255
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:24,519
Speaker 1: you were like, dude, totally totally because me and Marissa,

1256
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 1: my wife, were down in Venice staying at a hotel

1257
01:10:27,479 --> 01:10:29,200
Speaker 1: and we were like, let's go to the fucking drum

1258
01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:31,920
Speaker 1: circle and just like hang out because you hear it

1259
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,720
Speaker 1: for like miles. Yeah, and she had never been and

1260
01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:36,360
Speaker 1: I had never been at that point, so we were like,

1261
01:10:36,439 --> 01:10:38,639
Speaker 1: let's go. And we were like just in it and

1262
01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 1: like trying to get to the heart of it, and

1263
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 1: people were passing us drums and we're like, oh, like

1264
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:48,000
Speaker 1: it was just like so cools, joints, I think, yeah,

1265
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:52,360
Speaker 1: passing joints, passing blinds, getting getting just just feeling it. Yeah,

1266
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:56,160
Speaker 1: and then we walk out and then there's it was

1267
01:10:56,240 --> 01:10:59,040
Speaker 1: you or just your wife. But it was like, hey, Kyle,

1268
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, this could not be more opposite. You

1269
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:05,400
Speaker 1: guys had your camble backs on and you're like training

1270
01:11:05,439 --> 01:11:08,080
Speaker 1: for a marathon and I'm like, I'm so stoned, and

1271
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:10,840
Speaker 1: just like coming out of the circle and they're out

1272
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:14,320
Speaker 1: there being athletes and you and Mariss have like dirt

1273
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:17,600
Speaker 1: in your hair, braiding each other, cut mud all of

1274
01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:23,479
Speaker 1: your crotches. Yeah, just being one one with nature. That's it, Kyle.

1275
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:25,800
Speaker 1: Deep down though, the rhythm of the feet on a

1276
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:28,280
Speaker 1: marathon run and the rhythm of the beat in your

1277
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:31,479
Speaker 1: dirt circle, it's the same thing. It's the heart. It's

1278
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:34,920
Speaker 1: the beat of the heart. Guys, that's the drumbeat of life.

1279
01:11:35,439 --> 01:11:39,880
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You know that's beautiful. Did you

1280
01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:42,760
Speaker 1: guys ever do the scrambled porn or what did you

1281
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:45,840
Speaker 1: guys have that? Of course we'll do it. Yeah, yeah,

1282
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:49,559
Speaker 1: do it like you know you mean shoot shoot scrambled porn? No?

1283
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:53,280
Speaker 1: Like did you did you watch it? Yes? Where you

1284
01:11:53,320 --> 01:11:58,080
Speaker 1: eat eggs and watch what thank you? Where you could

1285
01:11:58,080 --> 01:12:00,080
Speaker 1: cross your eyes and then because it would split it

1286
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,280
Speaker 1: down the middle, so it would be like the opposite sides,

1287
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:04,360
Speaker 1: but if you crossed your eyes, it would line up

1288
01:12:04,479 --> 01:12:08,280
Speaker 1: kind of right after, like it'd still be like blurred.

1289
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:11,120
Speaker 1: I feel like some like younger people don't even know

1290
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:15,040
Speaker 1: what this is. So back in the day, cable there

1291
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:19,240
Speaker 1: would be like the win off cable turned off. There

1292
01:12:19,320 --> 01:12:22,200
Speaker 1: was like it was like channel three or something, and

1293
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:25,200
Speaker 1: it was all scrambled porn and it would be like

1294
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,360
Speaker 1: lines through it and you could tell something's going on,

1295
01:12:27,439 --> 01:12:29,559
Speaker 1: and every once in a while it would reset and

1296
01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:33,840
Speaker 1: you would get to see some hot, hot cinemax porn action.

1297
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:36,200
Speaker 1: And sometimes they were like in like different colors, like

1298
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:39,080
Speaker 1: a light blue or like green or something like that,

1299
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,760
Speaker 1: but it was still coming in good enough to go

1300
01:12:41,800 --> 01:12:43,839
Speaker 1: ahead and not and it was weird how like different

1301
01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:48,280
Speaker 1: friends houses got worse or better signals. So I remember

1302
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,200
Speaker 1: my friend Ryan, he got like a great signal in

1303
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,519
Speaker 1: his basement. So it's just like ten of us thirteen

1304
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:57,200
Speaker 1: year old boys just like kicking it in his basement,

1305
01:12:57,400 --> 01:12:59,280
Speaker 1: just going like I think I saw one. And to

1306
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:02,439
Speaker 1: be clear, the audio was just regular. That's true. You

1307
01:13:02,439 --> 01:13:05,320
Speaker 1: were hearing people fucking yep, but you just couldn't see it. Ye,

1308
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 1: you knew what the setting was, like, you could hear

1309
01:13:07,439 --> 01:13:10,479
Speaker 1: jail cell doors. You're like, oh, we're in a jail. Okay,

1310
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:13,960
Speaker 1: that's I know what those bars are made. Rodd. You

1311
01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:17,400
Speaker 1: know where that's going? Seven year old you? Yeah, oh yeah,

1312
01:13:17,479 --> 01:13:19,040
Speaker 1: I hope I know where it's going, because I know

1313
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:23,240
Speaker 1: where I'm going. Spice Channel, Baby, I'm looking up Spice

1314
01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:29,400
Speaker 1: Channel merch. There's the sickest snap back you need that.

1315
01:13:29,439 --> 01:13:32,120
Speaker 1: I might have to cop that, the Spice Channel. I

1316
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:35,000
Speaker 1: remember rocking a porn Hub hat for like a week

1317
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:38,519
Speaker 1: and then just being like nah, oh yeah, Spice channel

1318
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:43,639
Speaker 1: is way classier. What if you didn't have to vote

1319
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:46,960
Speaker 1: for let's say, the current political climate, the bidens of

1320
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:50,400
Speaker 1: it all, the trumps of it all. You're not voting for.

1321
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,280
Speaker 1: There's two Trumps, yeah, the Trumps. Yeah, there's a bunch

1322
01:13:54,320 --> 01:13:56,800
Speaker 1: of them. Oh my fuck. You just voted for what

1323
01:13:56,880 --> 01:13:59,759
Speaker 1: you think they smelled like. So whoever you thought smelled

1324
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:03,200
Speaker 1: the best, that is a really good one. Oh and

1325
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:06,960
Speaker 1: we're dipping into like all the candidates we've we've been seeing. Yeah,

1326
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:12,400
Speaker 1: you know, Kamala smells good. I bet she smells real good, fantastic. Yeah,

1327
01:14:12,439 --> 01:14:14,080
Speaker 1: she smells great. But I'm going for the guy who

1328
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:20,080
Speaker 1: was like the governor of Montana? Is that Budded Christ?

1329
01:14:21,120 --> 01:14:22,760
Speaker 1: Not that I know everything because I don't know this

1330
01:14:22,760 --> 01:14:24,720
Speaker 1: guy's name, But what's wrong? What did I say? What

1331
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:27,240
Speaker 1: I say? Yeah? I think you just said the one?

1332
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:30,280
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, I just said the coolest name. I

1333
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:34,080
Speaker 1: vote for the coolest name as a new check. The

1334
01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:37,559
Speaker 1: Montana guy, the South Bend miror, South Bend mayor. And

1335
01:14:37,560 --> 01:14:41,200
Speaker 1: he's a put together gay dude. You know he's smelling good. Hello,

1336
01:14:41,439 --> 01:14:43,880
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, that's what I'm saying. I thought he smelled good.

1337
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:47,479
Speaker 1: Oh right, I don't know if he smells great. I

1338
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 1: think he doesn't smell bad. But that dude from Montana

1339
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 1: smells good for sure. Who is this dude from Montana.

1340
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:57,160
Speaker 1: I feel like people in Montana still wear a lot

1341
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,120
Speaker 1: of cologne, Like I feel like a lot of the

1342
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 1: rest of the country. It's like alone smells like shit.

1343
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think alone smells good. At least

1344
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:06,479
Speaker 1: we can't agree on one thing. If it was by smell,

1345
01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:13,479
Speaker 1: we're not voting for Bernie my God smells like probably.

1346
01:15:15,520 --> 01:15:17,960
Speaker 1: I bet Biden smells pretty good. I bet he's got

1347
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,160
Speaker 1: a good stink. There's no doubt in my mind. He

1348
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:22,840
Speaker 1: uses brute brute He's a brute man. Brutes a good smell.

1349
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:27,280
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I think you have to at least

1350
01:15:27,520 --> 01:15:31,000
Speaker 1: pass a sniff test when you're a politician, like what's

1351
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:36,120
Speaker 1: stinking as politicians. I've smelled Biden before and smells pretty good. Yeah,

1352
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:39,120
Speaker 1: I buy that. I believe that he smells like soap.

1353
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:42,599
Speaker 1: The guy's clean. You've gotta smell clean. My gosh, if

1354
01:15:42,600 --> 01:15:45,760
Speaker 1: you stink like ship and you're kissing babies, like, get

1355
01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:48,080
Speaker 1: off my kid, dude, Well, I see, I don't think

1356
01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:51,599
Speaker 1: Trump smells that good. You know that guy farts something wild.

1357
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:54,439
Speaker 1: He eats a lot of fast food, and we all

1358
01:15:54,439 --> 01:15:56,840
Speaker 1: know what happens when you're eating all that KFC dog.

1359
01:15:57,760 --> 01:16:00,559
Speaker 1: That guy eats a lot, a lot of ask food.

1360
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,320
Speaker 1: You know, I know that just escapes the butthole. You

1361
01:16:03,360 --> 01:16:06,720
Speaker 1: can't keep that trapped, dude. I have one thing from

1362
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:09,679
Speaker 1: a fast food joint, and I'm just blowing up the joint.

1363
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:13,920
Speaker 1: His fat as his dump truck. But hey, man, don't

1364
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,479
Speaker 1: don't shoot on dump truck. Butts, man, those yours is

1365
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:20,479
Speaker 1: way tighter, bro. I would you've got skins? Thanks man.

1366
01:16:20,520 --> 01:16:23,200
Speaker 1: Wait time the president of the United States when I'm

1367
01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:27,080
Speaker 1: seventy alrighty and you see my fat ass. That's where

1368
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:29,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to get deep into golf. I'm always out

1369
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:34,120
Speaker 1: there golf and and also funck rabbits. I'll say it

1370
01:16:34,240 --> 01:16:36,760
Speaker 1: fun rabbits. Okay, you don't like rab that if it

1371
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:39,280
Speaker 1: attacks you, you fuck it for sure, you fuck it.

1372
01:16:39,400 --> 01:16:41,360
Speaker 1: You put a finger in his ask and you stub

1373
01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:44,160
Speaker 1: your whole fist down his throat. That's the only where

1374
01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 1: you always put your figure in the ass of whatever's

1375
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:50,080
Speaker 1: attack to stab it in the eyes. Whatever finger it butthole,

1376
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 1: You stab it in the ayas show of your fist

1377
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:55,040
Speaker 1: downs throws a figure, it's butthole. That's how you get

1378
01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:58,000
Speaker 1: it off. Yeah, I'll passed down. Whenever's attacking you in

1379
01:16:58,040 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 1: the wild, you gotta make sure to unbuckle the bell

1380
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:02,040
Speaker 1: and pull down the pants and stick your finger up

1381
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:06,960
Speaker 1: the buttle when we get back together. I do think

1382
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:10,320
Speaker 1: it could make a fantastic episode if we all say

1383
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:13,479
Speaker 1: we're not going to shower or were deodorant that day,

1384
01:17:13,479 --> 01:17:15,759
Speaker 1: and we smell each other's armpits and we just rank

1385
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:18,400
Speaker 1: who's the fucking worst and who's the best. That's cool.

1386
01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:21,479
Speaker 1: I'm into that. I do not want to. I do

1387
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:26,320
Speaker 1: not look forward to smelling Kyle's armpits automatically. Know that's

1388
01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:29,200
Speaker 1: just gonna be, right, Yeah, because you know what, I'm

1389
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:32,080
Speaker 1: gonna be like dialing in my diet now so that

1390
01:17:32,160 --> 01:17:37,000
Speaker 1: I smell better. Well, admittedly, you eat a lot of vegetables, right, yeah,

1391
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:39,679
Speaker 1: that's all I eat. Yeah, and that makes the worst

1392
01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:44,080
Speaker 1: smelliest farts and probably right well, because of the fiber,

1393
01:17:44,439 --> 01:17:49,040
Speaker 1: vegan farts are brutal. Yes, yeah, that's the thing. I mean,

1394
01:17:49,080 --> 01:17:51,240
Speaker 1: there's so much that goes into smell. I don't know

1395
01:17:51,320 --> 01:17:53,400
Speaker 1: if they smell worst. And when I used to just

1396
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:56,920
Speaker 1: rock Carl's Jr. And fucking have a burger or something,

1397
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 1: I really don't think so well. There's a difference between

1398
01:17:59,280 --> 01:18:03,400
Speaker 1: having a bad diet and eating meat and having a

1399
01:18:03,439 --> 01:18:07,400
Speaker 1: good diet like Carl's Jr. And eating like just their

1400
01:18:07,439 --> 01:18:12,280
Speaker 1: tacos and their you know, shitty burger. We see a

1401
01:18:12,320 --> 01:18:15,680
Speaker 1: lot of Carl Jr. Jack in the box, Jack in

1402
01:18:15,720 --> 01:18:17,800
Speaker 1: the box, Jack in the box. I take it back. No,

1403
01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:20,519
Speaker 1: you're right. I mean, dude, I'm not talking shit on

1404
01:18:20,520 --> 01:18:22,479
Speaker 1: on meat eaters at all. You know what I mean.

1405
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:24,800
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're talking on Carl's Junior bro. No,

1406
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:27,880
Speaker 1: that was my first job, one much love. That was

1407
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:30,400
Speaker 1: where I started, besides the paper route. And first I

1408
01:18:30,479 --> 01:18:33,400
Speaker 1: was a paper boy and then I worked at Carl's Jr. Specialist.

1409
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:35,400
Speaker 1: Is that where the name Carl came from? Looking for

1410
01:18:35,439 --> 01:18:38,479
Speaker 1: a scoop? Where did the name Carl come from? That

1411
01:18:38,560 --> 01:18:41,360
Speaker 1: was from Paul Myers. Oh, from Paul Myers. He got

1412
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:43,360
Speaker 1: it messed up. He said, I was at my buddy's

1413
01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:45,080
Speaker 1: house and the phone rang and it was my mom

1414
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:46,760
Speaker 1: and then he said, hey, is there a Carl here?

1415
01:18:48,960 --> 01:18:51,760
Speaker 1: That's so side that guys, if you're listening at home,

1416
01:18:51,960 --> 01:18:55,439
Speaker 1: you got the scoop? Yeah, that's it, Carl, Heavin check

1417
01:18:55,520 --> 01:18:58,320
Speaker 1: you got this sk Yeah? I think, but they put

1418
01:18:58,360 --> 01:19:00,519
Speaker 1: stuff in that food to make it smells certain ways,

1419
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:03,800
Speaker 1: so then when you farted, it's chemically designed and engineered

1420
01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:06,280
Speaker 1: to smell better than what God put on this earth

1421
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:09,479
Speaker 1: to make vegan farts just funky as hell. Sometimes when

1422
01:19:09,479 --> 01:19:12,000
Speaker 1: the homy that just say Carl's Junior farts, it makes

1423
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:19,080
Speaker 1: me hungry. Oh right, I would totally believe that that's

1424
01:19:19,080 --> 01:19:21,519
Speaker 1: a part of the company's research and development. Yeah, I

1425
01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 1: want to get that R and D job where you

1426
01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:25,880
Speaker 1: just eat a ton of Carl's Jr. And then you

1427
01:19:25,920 --> 01:19:29,200
Speaker 1: sit in a room and they suit they wait until

1428
01:19:29,200 --> 01:19:31,000
Speaker 1: you fart. Then they come in with a jar and

1429
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:34,759
Speaker 1: capture it real quick. They're like, yes, yeah, it smells

1430
01:19:34,760 --> 01:19:38,400
Speaker 1: like a Western bacon, a Western bacon. Cheat, Are you hungry?

1431
01:19:38,439 --> 01:19:40,519
Speaker 1: I'm hungry? Wow. What was the thing way back in

1432
01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:43,040
Speaker 1: the day where I wanted to capture David bore honest

1433
01:19:43,280 --> 01:19:45,519
Speaker 1: fart in a jar? I was like a sketch. You

1434
01:19:45,560 --> 01:19:48,559
Speaker 1: worked on a set near him, so I think it

1435
01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:51,000
Speaker 1: was real. Yeah, I worked on bones and he was

1436
01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:53,240
Speaker 1: on bones. But we were doing sketches and I was like,

1437
01:19:53,280 --> 01:19:55,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see if David Boion also be down with

1438
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:57,879
Speaker 1: this it'll be us. That was like your first attempt

1439
01:19:57,920 --> 01:20:01,040
Speaker 1: at stunt casting. You wanted to you a whole sketch

1440
01:20:01,080 --> 01:20:03,240
Speaker 1: about capturing his part and trying to sell it on

1441
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:06,200
Speaker 1: eBay because you could get close to him. Yeah, and

1442
01:20:06,280 --> 01:20:08,200
Speaker 1: he always called me big dog because he didn't know

1443
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:11,480
Speaker 1: my name. But big dog is arguably cooler than Andre's

1444
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:20,719
Speaker 1: meanders what's up, big Dog? It felt good. It felt

1445
01:20:20,760 --> 01:20:22,759
Speaker 1: good you walk on stage and all of a sudden,

1446
01:20:22,840 --> 01:20:26,040
Speaker 1: somebody's same big dog. Well, that's that's a good big dog.

1447
01:20:26,240 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 1: I feel like I would have been what's up, little dog?

1448
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:31,720
Speaker 1: And little dog isn't a little scrappy that's not as

1449
01:20:31,720 --> 01:20:34,680
Speaker 1: good of a nickname. I love all nicknames. I'd take.

1450
01:20:34,880 --> 01:20:36,840
Speaker 1: I'd like if you call me boss, if you call

1451
01:20:36,920 --> 01:20:40,800
Speaker 1: me my guy, like it's all good man, I like it.

1452
01:20:41,040 --> 01:20:43,080
Speaker 1: My guy is not a nickname. My guy is the

1453
01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:45,200
Speaker 1: way people say it to me. I don't want to

1454
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:48,960
Speaker 1: even waste my time remembering your name. Wait, what was

1455
01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:51,680
Speaker 1: your basketball name? I wanted to call you fuzz bucket, ponytail,

1456
01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:56,439
Speaker 1: onlytail was my basketball name. Here. I kind of feel

1457
01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:59,439
Speaker 1: like guy is a good name. Calling it like naming

1458
01:20:59,439 --> 01:21:03,120
Speaker 1: your kid. That's a that's a fun name. Yeah, it's solid.

1459
01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:05,760
Speaker 1: What's up, guy, that's okay. The only guy I know

1460
01:21:05,960 --> 01:21:08,960
Speaker 1: was from from Final Fight the video game. You know,

1461
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:13,600
Speaker 1: Guy Fiery, our hero this podcast. You know guy. You

1462
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:17,160
Speaker 1: know Guy Piers. Guy Pierce said. The first guy I

1463
01:21:17,240 --> 01:21:19,800
Speaker 1: ever knew was a guy from Final Fight, and I

1464
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:22,640
Speaker 1: was in all the way, guy is fucking dope. Are

1465
01:21:22,680 --> 01:21:25,800
Speaker 1: there any guys out there, like young young guy like

1466
01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:28,800
Speaker 1: actor dudes were like, what's up, I'm guy, Welcome to

1467
01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:30,880
Speaker 1: my crib. We're just kind of sending out a signal

1468
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:38,439
Speaker 1: for young guys if you're out there, this is important.