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Speaker 1: Right now, it is time for today's Strawberry Letter. If

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Speaker 1: you need any advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot

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Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. Buggal up and hold

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Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter subject my husband has lost his mind.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I am a forty seven year old

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Speaker 1: female in my third year of marriage. In my third marriage.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for five years

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Speaker 1: and he treats me like a queen. But I feel

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Speaker 1: like he hates my seventeen year old daughter. This is

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Speaker 1: his first marriage and he has no children, so it's

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Speaker 1: shocking that he acts like a drill sergeant with my daughter.

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Speaker 1: He calls her lazy and fusses at her constantly about

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Speaker 1: her chores. He expects her to take out the trash

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Speaker 1: daily and do a few other things that I think

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Speaker 1: he should be doing as the man of the house.

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Speaker 1: My daughter is an honor student and an extracurricular acts,

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Speaker 1: so she has a busy schedule during the week. I

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Speaker 1: will admit that she can be lazy and her room

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Speaker 1: is always quite messy, but she is a typical teenager.

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Speaker 1: Despite the way he speaks to her, she is always

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Speaker 1: kind and manerable to him. Her biological father died earlier

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Speaker 1: this year and it affected her, but she's dealt with

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Speaker 1: it quite well. My husband has not stepped up into

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Speaker 1: the role as her dad. He refuses to attend any

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Speaker 1: of her school activities with me. She graduates in June

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Speaker 1: and she's been accepted to a local college that's in

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Speaker 1: our city. She plans to stay at home instead of

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Speaker 1: live on campus because it's a lot less expensive. When

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Speaker 1: my husband found this out, he told me that she

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Speaker 1: could not stay with us anymore. He told me that

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Speaker 1: we are giving her some money for graduation so she

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Speaker 1: can move into her own apartment close to the college.

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Speaker 1: This really made me mad. This is my child and

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Speaker 1: I will not allow her to be mistreated like this.

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Speaker 1: I told him that he needs professional help. This is

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Speaker 1: causing problems in our relationship, but my child comes first.

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Speaker 1: He said I am being too sensitive and that she

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Speaker 1: needs to be on her own to learn more responsibility.

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Speaker 1: What do you think, please help? Well? I mean I

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Speaker 1: agree with most of what you had to say in

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Speaker 1: your letter. Your husband, I think is out of line,

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Speaker 1: and he's way too harsh. I mean there's disciplining and

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Speaker 1: then there's just cruelty, just playing cruelty. He doesn't understand

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Speaker 1: obviously that when he married you he also should have

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Speaker 1: taken in your child as well. I mean, she's almost grown,

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Speaker 1: but she's still at home, she's still in school, so

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Speaker 1: she's a child still. At this point, you yourself said

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Speaker 1: that your daughter is respectful, she's an honor student, she's

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Speaker 1: mannerable with him, she has a busy school schedule, and

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Speaker 1: not to mention that her father just recently passed. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you have to take all that into consideration. Now,

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Speaker 1: she definitely should keep her room clean and all of that.

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Speaker 1: She shouldn't be lazy. But I haven't heard anything here

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Speaker 1: says she's any different than any other teenager. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is kind of this is what I did as

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Speaker 1: a teen. My room was a mess, you know, I

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Speaker 1: could my mom was always calling me to do stuff. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's what we do as teenagers as we try to

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Speaker 1: figure it out. Yes, I think your your husband, and

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Speaker 1: your daughter, your whole family should get some type of therapy.

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Speaker 1: I agree with that. You know, I doubt if he'll

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Speaker 1: go though. You have to speak up. You have to

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Speaker 1: speak up more on your behalf, on your daughter's behalf.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like a situation that's only going to get worse.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I understand that he wants her to have

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Speaker 1: more responsibility and all that and talk to her. Maybe

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Speaker 1: she will move out on her own, but this is

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Speaker 1: just not the way to handle it. He's being mean,

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Speaker 1: and I think he should take out the trash. I do,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, he should take it out, Steve. I mean, dude,

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Speaker 1: come on, I mean, really, bro come on, man. Of

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Speaker 1: all the things we need to tend to in this world,

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Speaker 1: of all these things we need to get right, you've

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Speaker 1: chosen her as to what's wrong in this world. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's just now. I know this is the one side

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Speaker 1: of letter being written by this lady, but if any

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Speaker 1: of this is true, just as a man, you have

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Speaker 1: to take responsibility to the side of it that we

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Speaker 1: as men have to bear up under. Number one, You

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Speaker 1: chose this woman to be your wife. Your wife has

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Speaker 1: a child. It's a package. You gotta understand that going

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Speaker 1: in now. If you love this woman, then you have

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Speaker 1: to love the things that she loves. Her child happens

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Speaker 1: to be something she loves, So now you gotta get

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Speaker 1: with it. You're not her father, but you can be

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Speaker 1: her daddy. This is his first marriage and he has

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Speaker 1: no children, so it's shocking that he acts like a

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Speaker 1: drill sergeant with my daughter. No, it's not because he

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Speaker 1: don't know how to raise kids. So you're talking to

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Speaker 1: this girl like like a drill sergeant. Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: Come on, man, what's wrong with you? He calls her

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Speaker 1: lazy and fusses out of constantly about her choice. He

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Speaker 1: expects her to take out the trash daily and do

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Speaker 1: a further few things that I think he should be doing.

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Speaker 1: This Man it out. No, no, no, man, I got

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Speaker 1: four daughters. I've never asked him to take the trash

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Speaker 1: now they damn brothers. Better get to ask something. Get

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Speaker 1: this trash out. Let me come downstairs, and the trash

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Speaker 1: can fool and y'all stay up past me. That's how

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Speaker 1: this worked. Doog, What are you asking your young lady

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Speaker 1: to grow up to be to fend for herself? She

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Speaker 1: didn't know how to fit for herself. Let's look at

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Speaker 1: the upside before we talk about what's wrong with the girl.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about what's right with her. She on honor roll.

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Speaker 1: She's law body, and she's respectful of you at all times.

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Speaker 1: That's a good kid. She owned the hot a roll.

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Speaker 1: She respectful that she's law body. This is a good kid.

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Speaker 1: Her room, dirty man, what bro you out? A line? Man?

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Speaker 1: You you gotta do a little growing up here now,

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Speaker 1: the mom says, I will admit she could be lazy

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Speaker 1: in her room is always quite messy. She's a typical teenager,

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Speaker 1: and that's true. And despite the way he speaks to her,

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Speaker 1: she's always kind amountable to him. We'll get into the

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Speaker 1: rest of the letter when I get back. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you what else is wrong with your dog. And

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Speaker 1: you ain't got to feel this for me. Therapy ain't

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Speaker 1: for to help your ass. You need to change the

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Speaker 1: way you treat this girl. And you ain't got to

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Speaker 1: go sit down with nobody to do that. You got

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Speaker 1: to stop treating her like a little boy and treat

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Speaker 1: her like a princess, because what you're teaching her now

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Speaker 1: is that a man should be yelling at her, a

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Speaker 1: man should be bossing her, and a man should be

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Speaker 1: making her due. They that's what you're training this girl

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Speaker 1: right here. That's why you're out of line. All right,

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Speaker 1: we'll be back with part two of your response to

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letters, subjects my husband has lost his mind.

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Speaker 1: You're listening, all right, Steve. Come on part two of

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Speaker 1: your response to today's Strawberry letter, My husband has lost

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Speaker 1: his mind. You said you were mad when we left

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Speaker 1: for broad Well, you know what, I'm kind of angry.

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Speaker 1: Just forty seven year old lady. She's on the third marriage.

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Speaker 1: Her husband and her been married for five years, the

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Speaker 1: daughter seventeen. So he's been in the girl's life since

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Speaker 1: she toiled, and probably a little bit before that. Because

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Speaker 1: you just got married five years ago, you probably dated

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Speaker 1: for a period before that. So he's known this girl

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Speaker 1: for over five years. She had a dad in her life,

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Speaker 1: which is probably one of the things he pissed off about,

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Speaker 1: and it had some type of relationship, but her biological

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Speaker 1: father has passed and it affected her. She was always

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Speaker 1: respectful to this guy. But this guy just talks to

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Speaker 1: her like a drill sergeant, call a lazy, fussed her

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Speaker 1: constantly about her choice, expects her to take out the

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Speaker 1: trash daily. You got a little girl, and you want

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Speaker 1: her to take the trash out daily. And y'all could

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Speaker 1: disagree with me if you want to, I'm cool with it.

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Speaker 1: I don't really mind. I've treated my little girls different

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Speaker 1: than I treated my boys. I've never made them girls

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Speaker 1: take out their trash. You know, if you got a

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Speaker 1: man in the house, why is this girl taking this

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Speaker 1: trash out? Period? No, look where you can call it

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Speaker 1: what you want to call it, but you can call

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Speaker 1: it double standards. You can't be treating it all y'all

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Speaker 1: out that time. Women need to learn how to take

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Speaker 1: care of themselves. The girl is in school as an

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Speaker 1: honor role study. She's seventeen. She's respectful, and she laved body.

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Speaker 1: She's a great kid. She's just trying to figure it out.

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Speaker 1: She's seventeen. Her room junk is so what quit going

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Speaker 1: in now? Typical teenager? Hell, I just quit going in

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Speaker 1: my kids' roles. Tell live how you want to live,

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Speaker 1: But don't bring that junk out here in the house though,

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Speaker 1: because our house stayed looking nice because Marge ain't having it.

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Speaker 1: So now you're sitting up in here. My daughter is

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Speaker 1: an honor roles duty and extracurriculum activities. She's got a

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Speaker 1: busy schedule during the week, she's a little lazy. Despite

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Speaker 1: the way he speaks to her, She's always kind and

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Speaker 1: manerable to them. Her biological father died this year and

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Speaker 1: it affected her, but she's dealt with it quite well.

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Speaker 1: My husband has not stepped up into the role as

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Speaker 1: her dad. He refuses to attend any of her school

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Speaker 1: activities with me. Yo, brother, are you kidding me? Your

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Speaker 1: wife has one child? You won't attend none of the

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Speaker 1: school events with her? Wow? Now, look, man, if you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be her daddy, you shouldn't have signed

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Speaker 1: up to be the husband because it's a package. And

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Speaker 1: now more than ever, the girl could use a dad.

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Speaker 1: But now her image of a man right now is

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Speaker 1: somebody balking at, somebody making her take out to trad,

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Speaker 1: somebody constantly be degrading her. So now her idea of

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Speaker 1: a man's love is you. Are you kidding me? Man?

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Speaker 1: You're wrong on so many levels. She graduates in June.

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Speaker 1: She's been accepted at local college that's in our city.

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Speaker 1: She plans to stay at home instead of live on

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Speaker 1: campus because it's a lot less expensive. Excuse me. And

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Speaker 1: now she's got the nerve to even in spite it.

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Speaker 1: The way you treat her look out and be responsible

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Speaker 1: enough to say, hey, it would cause you all less

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Speaker 1: money if I just stay here. Your husband found this

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Speaker 1: out and he told me that she could not stay

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Speaker 1: with us anymore. Bro, are you kidding me? You're gonna

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Speaker 1: so the eighteen year old girl out? Dog? What's wrong

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Speaker 1: with you? Have you lost your ever loved mind? He

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Speaker 1: told me that we're giving her some money for graduation

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Speaker 1: so she can move into her own apartment close to

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Speaker 1: the college. This really made me mad. This is my

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Speaker 1: child and I will not allow her to be mistreated

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Speaker 1: like this. I told him that he needs professional help.

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Speaker 1: This is causing problems in our relationship. When my child

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Speaker 1: comes first, he says, I'm being too sensitive. She needs

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Speaker 1: to be on her own to learn more of responsibility.

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Speaker 1: What do you think seventeen ain't the time for a

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Speaker 1: girl to go learn responsibility. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. And now one of my kids had to

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Speaker 1: move out of seventeen. Not to them girls. Now, soon

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Speaker 1: as them boys get into their second year of college

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Speaker 1: and they get apartments, they asses can't come. Don't even

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Speaker 1: look over here. You can ask Winton right now, dad,

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Speaker 1: what they're doing in my room. Excuse me, excuse me,

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Speaker 1: that's not your room. That's your daddy's new clothes. Yeah no,

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Speaker 1: I turned no, no, no, Winch's room is dadd's new closet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. See see you're you're saying them are Laurie

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Speaker 1: just moved out? Lauren still gotta rum that down, Dad,

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Speaker 1: don't take my bed back? All right, President, She still

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Speaker 1: got a rum. Winch's other room in the la had

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Speaker 1: already been converted. But it ain't your da ruin none

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Speaker 1: of your stuff in him. See, sir. First of all,

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Speaker 1: at eighteen is not time for her to go out

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Speaker 1: on her own and learn responsibilities. You can't throw a

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Speaker 1: young girl out to the wolves like that. Uh. First,

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Speaker 1: and secondly, this is the wife's your wife's daughter. It's

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Speaker 1: a package deal. You can't put the package out because

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Speaker 1: you want to be alone. Uh. First of all, women

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Speaker 1: shouldn't have to take out trash unless they have to,

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Speaker 1: So your ass takes the trash out. Sorry right. Secondly, sir,

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Speaker 1: you don't have any parenting skills and you need to develop.

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Speaker 1: So this is not a boy you're talking to. It's

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Speaker 1: a young lady and she needs a daddy in her

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Speaker 1: life right now. Her father passed. She needs to see

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Speaker 1: a man show some love and respect and kindness to her,

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Speaker 1: so she'll get an idea of what love looks like.

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Speaker 1: For now, you throw her out the house. Now her

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Speaker 1: idea of a man is somebody who balks out. He

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Speaker 1: talks in like a drill. Sergeant requires that she takes

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Speaker 1: out the trash and puts her out. So now you

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Speaker 1: didn't put the little sheep out there with the wolves.

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Speaker 1: What you think gonn happen to this little girl on

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Speaker 1: her own, who has no real life skills because you

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Speaker 1: won't show her what real love look You cannot separate

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Speaker 1: a woman and her shod That's not the way it works.

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Speaker 1: You are wrong in every aspect of this thing, all right,

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Speaker 1: more than the Strawberry Letter, when we can. I'm back

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Speaker 1: at forty one after the hour you're listening show. Here

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Speaker 1: we are with this Strawberry letter, the subject my husband

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Speaker 1: has lost his mind. A forty seven year old woman

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Speaker 1: wrote in She's a wife in her third marriage. She's

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Speaker 1: been married for five years to a man who she says,

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Speaker 1: treats her like a queen, but treats her seventeen year

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Speaker 1: old daughter like he hates her. Here's the deal. He

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Speaker 1: isn't responded his child, so he doesn't have a bond.

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Speaker 1: He has no bond. But the mistake he made was

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Speaker 1: asking this woman to marry him. Because a woman who

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Speaker 1: has a child, that's a package you cannot expect to

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Speaker 1: separate to him too. A woman is not going to

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Speaker 1: forsake a child. They're not gonna do it. No, not

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Speaker 1: no real mother. No no no no no no no,

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Speaker 1: you can can't as somewhere else. Now, hold on, partner,

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Speaker 1: I love you, but you can't do what did this baby?

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Speaker 1: No no, no, you're talking about the one she carried,

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Speaker 1: the one she gave birth to. No, no, you're not

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Speaker 1: gonna do no harm to her now, And don't push

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Speaker 1: up because you're gonna find out that if she got

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Speaker 1: to make the choice, she, like every other animal in

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Speaker 1: a while, is gonna protect the baby. That's her job.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, what a great kid, Steve. I mean,

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Speaker 1: she just recently lost her own dad. Seems like he

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Speaker 1: would want to step in and just try to be

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Speaker 1: there for her. Now he wants her out because this

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Speaker 1: dude is a simple minded ass that ain't got a

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Speaker 1: damn clue on what giving really means. And you have

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Speaker 1: to learn what giving is. And we as fathers have

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Speaker 1: to set better examples for our daughters as to what

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Speaker 1: real men look like so they can have a better

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Speaker 1: example of what to pick when they get out there.

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Speaker 1: So many women are damaged today because of the relationship

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Speaker 1: that they father did not have with them. Yea, And

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Speaker 1: so many women end up looking for love and all

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Speaker 1: the wrong places because they don't know what love really

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Speaker 1: looked like. Fathers are so important, right and now here

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Speaker 1: you are at a very impressionable age of this girl's life,

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Speaker 1: giving her an example of a man and what he

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Speaker 1: looks like. And it's not a good view of manhood

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Speaker 1: that you can talk to her this way, treat her

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Speaker 1: this way, bark at her like a drill sergeant, expect

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Speaker 1: her to take out treasure, and want to put her

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Speaker 1: out the house because she graduated from high school. Who

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Speaker 1: puts their dought out the house because they graduate from

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Speaker 1: rog school? But hell, I didn't get put out my

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Speaker 1: daddy's house when I graduated from high school. And then

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Speaker 1: she kind and manerable to him and respectful to him

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Speaker 1: even in spite of all of this, means yeah, he's

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Speaker 1: just the wrong and wrong, mean, cruel guy. He just

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Speaker 1: is something's wrong. That's why I say he should get

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Speaker 1: some therapy. He really should. Yeah, but see, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what game he played to get her. He treats

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Speaker 1: her like a queen. She says, Dog, you've been had

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Speaker 1: this lady on her fourth man? Yeah, because dog you.

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Speaker 1: But the marriage can be saved, you know, because he

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Speaker 1: treats the woman like a queen. But then you got

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Speaker 1: to treat the princess like a princess. Dog is real simple. However,

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Speaker 1: you treating the wife, you gotta treat the daughter like

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Speaker 1: a version of the white comments to Steve Harvey FM

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Speaker 1: dot com, you're listening to