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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app, then dares you, guys,

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Speaker 1: swipe right. The question is whose love life is more tragic?

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Speaker 2: It's battle love a Tinder date. It's sedating segment that's

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Speaker 2: got more red flags than a Chinese military parade. Battle

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Speaker 2: of the Tinder dates.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's a description.

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Speaker 2: Here, two of our listeners square off to find out

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Speaker 2: whose love life is the most tragic. We'll explain the

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Speaker 2: rules in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants.

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Speaker 2: In this corner, her idea of a perfect date is

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Speaker 2: being flown to Guatemala, then sacrificing a virgin on top

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Speaker 2: of a stone pyramid while watching the sunset Meso America Erica.

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Speaker 3: People are back in time for that.

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Speaker 1: Tourist attraction is the only change, not.

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Speaker 2: If you want it hard enough. Brook And in the

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Speaker 2: other corner, her number one turn on is when a

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Speaker 2: guy shushes her mid sentence, then condescend explained simple things

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Speaker 2: to her like she's a child. Man's plain a Dana.

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Speaker 2: Now they know that. Here's how the game works. One

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Speaker 2: contestant will start by telling one of their worst date stories.

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Speaker 2: The other will try and come back and counter with

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Speaker 2: the nightmare story of their own. We're going back and

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Speaker 2: forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. Let's

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Speaker 2: get it started with Meso America Erica.

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Speaker 1: Let's go Okay. So we went to dinner, okay, and

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Speaker 1: he was seeing so unbelievably rude to the waitress, like

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Speaker 1: I actually couldn't believe it. Okay, So he's the one

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Speaker 1: that you need to sacrifice. Yes, he would have deserved it.

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Speaker 1: And then he did pay, but he didn't kip her.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We say goodbye in the parking lot and I ran

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Speaker 1: back in and you know, give her a tip and

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Speaker 1: to just apologize. And she said, I wouldn't expect anything

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Speaker 1: less from my ex husband. Oh u god. So apparently

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Speaker 1: he just uses that restaurant to bring kinder dates there

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Speaker 1: because he knows that he works there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I X yeah yeah, Dana, can you counter?

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Speaker 3: Okay? After a guy took me out and I say,

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Speaker 3: he walked me to my car, just me, nice kiss.

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Speaker 4: Then he hands me.

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Speaker 3: His phone on it was a chip option screen like

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Speaker 3: you see at a restaurant. I I thought he was joking, you.

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Speaker 1: Did, I did. It's a good kiss, Jeff, It's.

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Speaker 4: A good guess. The next day I've seen the money

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Speaker 4: is actually taken out of my account for it.

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Speaker 2: God, did you find him on the back of a

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Speaker 2: newspaper somewhere?

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Speaker 3: WHOA, She didn't know what is.

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Speaker 2: On to round two? We're back to you.

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Speaker 1: Okay. I offered to cook dinner for a guy. He's

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Speaker 1: at my place. You know, We're having glass of wine

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Speaker 1: wile I'm finishing up dinner and I hear a baby crying. I,

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously don't have a baby. I'm like, could

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Speaker 1: it be a neighbor, but I've never heard one. And

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Speaker 1: then I look down and he's playing a clip on

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Speaker 1: his phone of a little kid, a toddler throwing a tantrum.

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Speaker 1: Oh sounds like And I was like, what is that?

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Speaker 1: Why are you doing that? And he said he wants

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Speaker 1: to see what I would be like as a mom

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Speaker 1: and how I react in stressful situations with kids.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, oh oh, but yeah.

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Speaker 1: It took me like another thirty forty five minutes to

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Speaker 1: finish up dinner, and the whole time he's just holding

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Speaker 1: it there. Didn't offer to help.

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Speaker 2: Also, by the way, did you go and cradle his

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Speaker 2: phone and like.

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Speaker 1: Sing that's what he was looking for? Maybe I should

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Speaker 1: have You.

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Speaker 2: Should have kicked him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you should have kicked him out of your house.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like he dodged a bullet on that, Dana.

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Speaker 3: We're back to you.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: I met a very well dressed man for drinks and

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Speaker 3: she spent the whole night talking about his company. His

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Speaker 3: company company.

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Speaker 4: We started.

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Speaker 3: He traveled from work.

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Speaker 2: He's proud of himself. Maybe a little bit too much.

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Speaker 2: I'm a very important man.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. It was just like at me. But the bartender

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Speaker 3: became very interested, and so he started asking what your

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Speaker 3: business was. That's when my date runs out. The cars

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Speaker 3: comes back with a binder full of Pokemon cars, Pokemon cards.

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Speaker 4: You can make a lot of money selling.

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Speaker 2: I think it's like really good holographic one Yeah, holographic charts.

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Speaker 4: Are He had them all o him and the bartender

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Speaker 4: started doing a deal.

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Speaker 2: I snuck out, Yeah, missed opportunity. All right, we're onto

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Speaker 2: the third and final round. That means we need your

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Speaker 2: best stories here, lady. So Erica, what do you got?

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Speaker 1: Okay? I went over to a guy's house. He has

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Speaker 1: one of those really fancy he's like standles seel fridge

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Speaker 1: is with like the display screen on the front, like the.

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Speaker 4: Little yeah, like the computer fridge glassy.

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Speaker 1: They are really cool. So he runs to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and I'm just watching. There's like a slide show of

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Speaker 1: like all the pictures on his phone that are going through,

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Speaker 1: and it's him and his mom, him and his family.

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Speaker 1: And then there were pictures of him getting into this

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Speaker 1: really risque like animal costume, like almost like what a

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Speaker 1: girl in college would wear to a party.

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Speaker 2: I'm listening, keep going, and I'm standing.

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Speaker 1: There watching these weird pictures and then he comes out

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Speaker 1: and was like, oh my god, no, like you're not

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Speaker 1: supposed to see those.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, sorry, I'm a little.

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Speaker 1: Uncomfortable, like I got to run, and he goes, oh,

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Speaker 1: I got fridge blocked again. Blocks. Yeah, so this isn't

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Speaker 1: the first time that's happened, Dana.

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Speaker 2: This is your last chance.

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Speaker 3: I met a guy who said he was really into cycling,

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Speaker 3: and so am I. You know, so we meet one

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Speaker 3: morning for a ride.

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Speaker 4: How beautiful, right, Yeah?

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Speaker 1: He shows up naked, naked, like he.

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Speaker 2: Took his clothes off, but they were already gone.

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Speaker 3: They're already gone nothing. But at homide. Wow, he told

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Speaker 3: me he's all about showed up being aerodynamic. So we

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Speaker 3: started riding.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm like, oh, no, you are Do you

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Speaker 1: go in front or behind?

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Speaker 4: I went in front.

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Speaker 3: I was fleeing, basically, Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: He was actually really good, so I ended up next

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Speaker 4: to him until I had to make an excuse that

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Speaker 4: I was feeling sick, so I put to stop the

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Speaker 4: bike and get out.

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Speaker 2: Oh there is something to his aerodynamic thing. You couldn't

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Speaker 2: out run him, so maybe it has a point. All right,

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Speaker 2: there's the final bell that means the match is over

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Speaker 2: and we need to score this. Alexis who you vote?

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Speaker 3: For?

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Speaker 1: Erica for having to listen to a crying baby for

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Speaker 1: a long time.

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Speaker 2: One for Erica Brook.

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Speaker 1: Naked biker almost got me, but he wasn't creepy enough,

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Speaker 1: so I'm doing crites.

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Speaker 2: That means congratulations, Messo America Erica. Nine out of ten

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Speaker 2: relationship therapists quit their careers after learning about your lovely congratulations.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I should be honored or insulted,

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Speaker 1: but here we are. Yeah, both can be true.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you texted in seven, eight, five, nine two

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Speaker 2: if you want to up here on the next edition

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Speaker 2: of Battle of the Tender dates we got your phones

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Speaker 2: have coming up

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Speaker 1: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning,