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Speaker 1: I just realized we've been talking for forty five minutes

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Speaker 1: before I just pressed record.

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Speaker 2: Well, none of it's recordable.

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Speaker 1: Definitely not recordable.

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Speaker 2: But it was like a FaceTime but over.

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Speaker 1: Zoom, like face time. What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: I was like, we I mean we were just talking there,

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Speaker 2: but like, yeah, basically we were just like talking on

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Speaker 2: the phone, but over Zoom calling each other on Zoom,

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Speaker 2: like Zoom coming in from Kelly?

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Speaker 1: Does it work that way? I thought you had to

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Speaker 1: log in.

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Speaker 2: I think you have to log in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was like if Zoom were smart, they would, you know,

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Speaker 2: try and compete with face time.

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Speaker 1: Ah that feature. I feel like Zoom's doing all right.

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Speaker 2: I think they're doing okay, But maybe the Android folks

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Speaker 2: could use something like that since they don't.

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Speaker 1: Have to wow, really targeting as Android listeners. Did you

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Speaker 1: want to tell the people how you feel about green

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Speaker 1: text while we're at it?

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Speaker 2: No, I don't want to lose followers. I was. I

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Speaker 2: watched this funny movie last night called The Blackening, and

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Speaker 2: it was there was a run joke about the android

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Speaker 2: charger in there. People were like, we don't we don't

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Speaker 2: support that.

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Speaker 1: What is that movie about.

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Speaker 2: It's about a group of friends that rent a cabin

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Speaker 2: and then realize that there, you know, turns it. It's

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Speaker 2: like a horror comedy.

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Speaker 1: Oh I hate that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Wow, it tried really hard. I wanted to like

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Speaker 2: it so much more than I did. Yeah, but like

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Speaker 2: they could who the guy who wrote I think his

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Speaker 2: name is Tim's story. There were some things he just

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Speaker 2: couldn't figure out how to write his way out of,

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Speaker 2: so he like created ways that he cheated on some

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Speaker 2: things and it was just like, ugh, that was annoying,

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Speaker 2: like telepathy, like friends. There were moments there were scenes

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Speaker 2: where like you could hear, which is kind of the

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Speaker 2: idea is funny, but if you use it more than once,

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Speaker 2: it's like the.

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Speaker 1: Fact that this is being recorded right now.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, Well, actually don't watch the Black because he didn't

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Speaker 1: just sell it at all.

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Speaker 2: Actually watch it after it's cheaper, because I paid twenty

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Speaker 2: dollars to rent it because that's how good I thought

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Speaker 2: it was going to be.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, you had a high hopes. Yeah, well, you

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Speaker 1: know what they say about expectations.

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Speaker 2: I don't. What do you think.

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Speaker 1: The root cause of all issues in relationship?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Oh, speaking of issues in a relationship?

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Speaker 1: Oh well, He's like, all right, now, let's get to it,

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Speaker 1: because I don't we have like fifteen minutes to record

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Speaker 1: since we've just talked forever. Well, we are talking about

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Speaker 1: guts today. Guts is the theme of the month, and

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Speaker 1: you and I were like, you gotta keep it light though,

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Speaker 1: this is the edge. And I said to you, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I have a story and you were like,

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Speaker 1: what's it about? And I said, well, so I'm newly

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Speaker 1: dating someone and he doesn't live in town, and so

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Speaker 1: you know, when we're seeing each other, we're staying together,

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Speaker 1: and there's you know, it's just like a more exacerbated

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Speaker 1: dating process. It's such an interesting thing, long distance dating,

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Speaker 1: because in like some ways I've talked to him more

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Speaker 1: than I've talked to other people that I've dated in town,

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Speaker 1: like as far as timelines go, like we talk all

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Speaker 1: the time because we're like getting to know each other,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then when we see each other, it's

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Speaker 1: kind of like an intensive thing, like we're like together

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Speaker 1: all the time sort of feeling, but like the we

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Speaker 1: haven't seen each other that often because it's new and

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Speaker 1: so anyway, it's just interesting because you're like, wait, how

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Speaker 1: long have we been doing this, like you don't really

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Speaker 1: have a concept because of the distance or whatever. So right, right,

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Speaker 1: in some ways you're really familiar, and then in some

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Speaker 1: ways you're really unfamiliar. And so anyway, we've been adjusting

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Speaker 1: to that and it's been a good process for me

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Speaker 1: and I've enjoyed it and things like that. But I

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Speaker 1: was saying to you, he was here last time, and

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Speaker 1: we were talking, and somehow the conversation, Oh okay, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: let me start this over. We were talking about friends

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Speaker 1: of ours, and somehow the conversation kind of shifted to

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Speaker 1: when's the last time you pooped your pants? Like he

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Speaker 1: asked his friend group that and someone said, oh, god,

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Speaker 1: like six weeks ago actually, and so we were kind

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Speaker 1: of talking about that, dying laughing. We're having the funniest conversation.

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Speaker 1: But you know, in a new relationship, poop is not

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Speaker 1: necessarily a topic.

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Speaker 2: It's something that you like actively like actually.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So like I'm like awkwardly

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Speaker 1: laughing ha ha yeah right exactly, almost acting like I

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Speaker 1: don't know what poop is because you're just in that

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Speaker 1: weird like is this going to bring up uncomfortable things?

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Speaker 1: And so the conversation switch, we like moved on to

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Speaker 1: something else. Then later it came back up and he

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Speaker 1: says to me, have you ever pooped your pants?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I proceed to tell him was story where I did.

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Speaker 1: I had a stomach bug, you know, thought there was

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Speaker 1: some gas coming out whatever, it ended up not being gased.

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Speaker 1: That was really uncomfortable. Then I say to him, have

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Speaker 1: you ever done that? He tells me a story of

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Speaker 1: him doing that. So we're just like exchanging stories back

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Speaker 1: and forth and dying laughing, like I probably haven't laughed

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Speaker 1: that long, that hard and so long. I can't even remember.

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Speaker 1: It was like twenty minutes straight of I was just

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Speaker 1: talking about this and then it happened. He confesses that

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Speaker 1: every day he's been leaving the house. At some point,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking he was going to his friend's house

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Speaker 1: to swim laps, and he says, he's been going to

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Speaker 1: his friend's house to use the bathroom number two.

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Speaker 2: Well, had it not crossed your mind? I knew?

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Speaker 1: I knew that that's what was going on. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: totally knew. I was like, oh my god, well, when

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Speaker 1: he's over there, he's doing it. But the other thing

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Speaker 1: is is also when he was over there I was

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Speaker 1: doing it. I was kind of like, well, this is

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Speaker 1: you know, fine, he's got somewhere to go anyway to

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Speaker 1: like go work out, and he just takes care of

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Speaker 1: it while he's there, and it gives me the freedom

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Speaker 1: to not have to cross that bridge, like you know,

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Speaker 1: eventually you're gonna have to. But like I just was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, well, we're just not to the place where

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Speaker 1: we have to yet, like that hasn't come up. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I mean when he made that confession, I literally almost

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Speaker 1: peed in my pants. I was laughing so hard. My

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Speaker 1: stomach was like you know that kind of laughing when

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Speaker 1: you're laughing and it's like silent and you're belly laughing.

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Speaker 1: You're just like going back and forth. And I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I knew a k news. And then we're like dying

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Speaker 1: laughing that we both are operating in this like sleuth

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Speaker 1: state about this, you know, and it's kind of just ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: Like we're in our forties here and we're acting like

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Speaker 1: this is just the worst thing ever. But it's so

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Speaker 1: difficult at the beginning of the relationship because like the

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Speaker 1: beginning is the fun, sexy, the like you're getting to

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Speaker 1: know each other, but also everything is a little bit surface,

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Speaker 1: and you're showing up as your best self and you

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Speaker 1: want the other person to think you're hot, right, right, right,

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Speaker 1: So what's the quickest way to not be hot?

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Speaker 2: Poop exactly? I Mean, look, some there, some people might

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Speaker 2: argue that they're into that, but that's a good point

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Speaker 2: across the board. It's, you know, generally a taboo subject,

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Speaker 2: especially in the beginning of a relationship. I even like,

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Speaker 2: I'll announce like I gotta go pee, like even if

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Speaker 2: I have to poop forty seven years old, Like, and

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Speaker 2: I don't even mean in a relationship, like, look if

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Speaker 2: I have.

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Speaker 1: To how many people do you tell you have to

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Speaker 1: pee a day?

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Speaker 2: Though? Sometimes I'm like, I got to pee. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I'll say that even if it's the truth too. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's like every time I say I'm going to pee,

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean I'm going to poop.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say every time you go to the bathroom,

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Speaker 1: I'm like chips.

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Speaker 2: Pooping, just poop in. But you know what's funny is

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Speaker 2: my so I have nieces, yeah, and one of them six,

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Speaker 2: and it's it's funny because as a kid, you're so

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Speaker 2: open about it you're like I just pooped, or it's

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Speaker 2: like or like my sister will say to my niece like,

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Speaker 2: do you have to poop and she'll be like, yes,

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Speaker 2: I have to poop, and it's like so open. At

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Speaker 2: what point is it something that like theyre becomes shame

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Speaker 2: And I think it is, like when you start to

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Speaker 2: care about what other people think about you, has to

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Speaker 2: be it's at that point for you. I mean that's

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Speaker 2: when hormones start.

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Speaker 1: Yes, like when you get interested in dating.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's when it really shit.

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Speaker 1: It has to be. I also think we probably observe

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Speaker 1: the adults in our life and like it's the same

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Speaker 1: thing I used to say this like when I was

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Speaker 1: in my last relationship there was two kids involved, and

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Speaker 1: so like it actually made me to really start to

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Speaker 1: think what kind of programming. I was like push on

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Speaker 1: them based on the programming I had gotten. Like, and

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Speaker 1: this goes for Like I was talking about things like

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Speaker 1: botox and extensions and all that stuff, but like when

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Speaker 1: it came to pooping, I tried to normalize that with

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Speaker 1: them because I was like everybody does it, Like it's

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Speaker 1: just we don't need to be worried about this or whatever,

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Speaker 1: because you start to realize at such a young age

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Speaker 1: they're being taught that it's something we should be ashamed of, right, right,

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Speaker 1: And the reality is is like, if you're not pooping,

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Speaker 1: is actually the problem, like something's wrong with you? Then

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Speaker 1: you know health, Oh it's not healthy, And so hopefully

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Speaker 1: you are, hopefully everyone out there listening is pooping on

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Speaker 1: a daily basis.

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Speaker 2: But it's a funny word too, by the way, I

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Speaker 2: just really a lot. Yeah, it's also like weird if

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Speaker 2: you're like using formal words for poop.

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Speaker 1: Or if you're saying taking a shit like how.

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Speaker 2: Gross, or having a bowel movement.

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Speaker 1: Like ew, that's just gonna be cringe. So when I

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Speaker 1: told you about this story that had happened in my life,

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Speaker 1: you said, oh god, yeah, been So did you want

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Speaker 1: to share with the listeners?

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Speaker 2: All, I think there's one that I've already told, which

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Speaker 2: maybe I'll tell again, but you know, in my current

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Speaker 2: I mean, I've got a second story too, because I'm

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Speaker 2: now in a relationship and we went on we had

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Speaker 2: been dating for just a little over a month when

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Speaker 2: we went to the Bahamas and sharing a room. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and we were sharing a room for the first time

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Speaker 2: so I mean we'd spent the night at each other's houses,

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Speaker 2: but it's like house. Yeah. And so we get to

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Speaker 2: the hotel and it's beautiful and we we walk in

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Speaker 2: and it's basically one room, you know, one big room.

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Speaker 2: There's the well, Like the bathroom has like this door

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Speaker 2: that like disappears into the wall and they have it

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Speaker 2: wide open so that it's one big space, and the

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Speaker 2: shower and the toilet are in these glass doors that

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Speaker 2: basically face the bed glass.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean they're like fuzzy glass that you can't see through.

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Speaker 2: That's not enough. That's not enough privacy. So it was

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Speaker 2: like instantaneously where we're like, well, whoever has to poop first,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna have to like go and like slide that

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Speaker 2: door closed to be like yeah, privacy. And it's also

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Speaker 2: you know you're in sort of it's there's lots of tile.

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Speaker 2: It's a cavernous room like so we had at first,

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Speaker 2: I was like I'm going downstairs to the lobby and

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, No, I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to do that. I'm like we're going to turn the

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Speaker 2: TV on. There's gonna be noise, and we're just gonna

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Speaker 2: have to get past this because there is no reason

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Speaker 2: to be embarrassed that you have to, you know, like

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Speaker 2: you're actually doing.

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Speaker 1: Did you say all of this stuff to him?

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Speaker 2: Oh? We ended up having like I really were laughing

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Speaker 2: about that. Okay, we were.

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Speaker 1: Laughing about absolutely talk There is no reason in this.

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Speaker 2: Now, I don't think I don't think I phrased it

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Speaker 2: that way, but it was just like, I mean, why

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Speaker 2: are we acting like we're He's fifty, I'm forty seven,

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Speaker 2: right of course, up, Oh my god, it's happening. I

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Speaker 2: think I'm about to poop for the first time ever at.

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Speaker 1: The age of fifty, right, Like, No, yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I've not We had to overcome, you know, and

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Speaker 2: now it's like now it's a joke. We still joke

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Speaker 2: about it, you know. But I think it's that still

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Speaker 2: comes from that like internal shame around it, Like you know,

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Speaker 2: it's I think if you're in the same building it

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Speaker 2: makes it more shameful. But I might like be like, hey, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be late. I've got a ship, Like I

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Speaker 2: might send that text and I wouldn't think twice about

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Speaker 2: sending that now, you know. Yeah, but it's still like

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Speaker 2: I'm not like, hey, I'm gonna go poop.

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Speaker 1: No, you're like, I'm gonna go pe. I gotta know

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Speaker 1: that every time you say that, now that that means

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Speaker 1: you might also poop. Might I think it's like there's

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Speaker 1: a smell, there's a sound. Those are the reasons it's

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Speaker 1: more embarrassing than peeing, obviously, but it's also very natural.

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Speaker 1: I knew though, I was like, this is not. This

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Speaker 1: to me feels like a universal problem, Like I feel

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Speaker 1: like everyone listening has gone through this exact thing in

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Speaker 1: a relationship at one point or another. There was the

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Speaker 1: moment where you're like, oh no. I think the hotel

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Speaker 1: room is a very big moment for new couples because

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Speaker 1: there's really not escaping like traveling for the first time,

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Speaker 1: because you could escape it in real life, like you

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Speaker 1: were saying, like, even if you start staying with someone,

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Speaker 1: you go somewhere else, you go back to your house.

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Speaker 1: You like kind of figured it out. But when you

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Speaker 1: start the traveling piece, that's when shit gets real. If

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Speaker 1: you will you know.

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Speaker 2: Well also too, because you don't even know what your

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Speaker 2: options are, like well right right, I mean, God forbid,

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Speaker 2: you hold it so long you get in the elevator

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Speaker 2: and got down to the lobby and you shit your

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Speaker 2: pants because then you're dealing with something that's like far

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Speaker 2: more embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah, sometimes when I've first been in relationship, I've

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Speaker 1: like held it in and then gotten constipated, do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like you kind of create the

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Speaker 1: other issue within yourself and that's not good either. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I knew this was a universal problem, so I googled

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Speaker 1: it and I was like, what are the people out

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Speaker 1: there saying? I found this article though, that I thought

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Speaker 1: was pretty funny, and it's tips. It's directed at girls

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Speaker 1: doing a number two at your boyfriend's place. Every Girl's guide,

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Speaker 1: Like this is a full blog about how to do this,

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Speaker 1: but I actually think it can work for guys too,

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Speaker 1: So I was gonna read through some of these because

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Speaker 1: I think they're kind of funny and this is like

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Speaker 1: so ridiculous. But anyway, she says, Number one, Timing is everything, honestly,

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Speaker 1: like huge. You know, it's like if your man's running

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Speaker 1: out to grab chips from a corner store, taking a

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Speaker 1: smoke break, running downstairs to flip his laundry, Uh, that's

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Speaker 1: the time, Like wait, wait, and if you can wait,

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Speaker 1: she says, until he's already used the bathroom, so like

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Speaker 1: you won't risk him going in after you. That's the time.

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Speaker 1: But can you control yours that much? Like it depends

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Speaker 1: I feel like you can. Can you people command? No?

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Speaker 2: No? Can people do that?

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Speaker 1: Just I don't know. I just like feel like if

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Speaker 1: I hold it in until he's running out to take

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Speaker 1: out the trash, there's a chance then that I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be able to do it. Yeah, yeah, like you might

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Speaker 1: miss your moment, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it depends on how badly you need

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Speaker 2: to go.

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Speaker 1: That's true. You talked about this one. This this tip

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Speaker 1: is hide the noise. So you said you turn music one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I turned the television on and music.

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Speaker 1: I think that's smart because that's the thing in my house,

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Speaker 1: Like my house is really quiet and it's old, so

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Speaker 1: like you can kind of hear it through the walls

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Speaker 1: and stuff. And you know what the worst part is,

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Speaker 1: there's no vent in the bathroom. Oh to me, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: shots fired. I should probably try to get one installed,

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Speaker 1: But it's like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, or light a light a candle in like in

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Speaker 2: your living room in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I'm asking me in the event for noise though.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, she said.

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Speaker 1: Run some water. That's the other thing is though, they're

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Speaker 1: going to know what you're doing in there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you do water. Yeah, that's that's a shirt tell sign.

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Speaker 2: I've done that trick too, right you really sure?

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Speaker 1: Did you trick them? Or? Oh okay, this is a

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Speaker 1: hilarious one to me. Make a quote unquote basket. Another

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Speaker 1: way to get comfortable in the bathroom is by making

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Speaker 1: a carefully crafted basket or quote unquote raft for your

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Speaker 1: leavings to lay on. It sounds gross because it kind

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Speaker 1: of is, but it works, and that's all that that's important.

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Speaker 1: Carefully laid down so stream, carefully lay down toilet paper

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Speaker 1: in the bowl until it makes a raft in the water.

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Speaker 1: This will catch your droppings and mask the noises without

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Speaker 1: you having to flush a million times. Just be careful

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Speaker 1: not to clog the toilet, right.

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Speaker 2: Well, it also prevents it probably helps prevent streaking the

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Speaker 2: toilet too.

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Speaker 1: Well, if you're courtesy flushing, though, you shouldn't streak the toilet.

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Speaker 1: But yes, I guess so. The problem with the basket

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Speaker 1: idea to me is then it's just sitting there and

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Speaker 1: it smells things upwards.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. The thing about the courtesy flush is it gets

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Speaker 1: rid of it really fast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that like the courtesy flush also causes a vacuum, right,

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Speaker 2: it pulls air in at the same time, So I

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Speaker 2: think it helps with the smell.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I think it's like it gets it.

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Speaker 2: Out of there. Also, matches really help because the smell

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Speaker 2: is a gas and it burns the gas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wow, look at you.

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Speaker 2: It's not just the like obviously the match also like

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Speaker 2: then leaves the smell of a burnt match, but it

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Speaker 2: does like burn off the gas in the air. It helps.

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Speaker 1: Just in case you guys are into science, right, that's

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Speaker 1: your scientific tip for the day. Take a shower, she

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Speaker 1: says it in quotes. That is always if you can

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Speaker 1: time it up with having to take a shower, you're golden.

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Speaker 1: Feel Yeah, consider the risk and benefits of hiding the smell.

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00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 1: So you've done it, You flush, and you feel like

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Speaker 1: a whole new woman. But now you're not sure whether

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Speaker 1: you should try to hide the smell or not. How

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Speaker 1: do you do it? You can open a window, light

365
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Speaker 1: a match, spray some air freshener, or turn on your sensy.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what that is, but all the above

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Speaker 1: would risk him finding out that you're trying to hide something.

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00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 1: So we're still operating that he doesn't know what you're

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Speaker 1: doing in there. This one, she says, just laugh it off.

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00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:35,920
Speaker 1: I think that's probably a good choice. Let's just pro sorry, Uh,

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Speaker 1: don't ask, don't tell. Like actually, that's how I typically operate.

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Speaker 1: Like if they go in and do it and you're

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Speaker 1: you come out, it's like you know what they were

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Speaker 1: doing in there, Like I knew every day when he

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Speaker 1: was leaving, that's part of what he was doing while

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Speaker 1: he was gone. But I'm not going to be like,

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Speaker 1: so did you poop while you're gone?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how's your how was your bowel movement this morning?

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00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,639
Speaker 1: She's just the other one, she says, is just be

380
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,880
Speaker 1: open about it, but warn him to stay back. If

381
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 1: you're on vacation and you're freaking out about the bathroom situation,

382
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 1: you need to be open with your guy, whether at

383
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 1: home or on a trip. You need to tell him

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Speaker 1: that you're going to have your alone time now, and

385
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: you better not count the minutes, listen for sounds, or

386
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Speaker 1: go in there after you.

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00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's so many there's so many tactics

388
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 2: that we can do to mask it. But I think

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00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 2: being honest, look, I don't think you need to like

390
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 2: just say, hey, you know, that was a really fun dinner.

391
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,199
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go take a dup right now. Like, but

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00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 2: I think that I think the best one is, honestly

393
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 2: that don't ask, don't tell, Like it doesn't need to be.

394
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be part of the conversation. And

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00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 2: I think part of the problem with it becoming part

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00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,439
Speaker 2: of the conversation is that sometimes and it's always the

397
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 2: conversation because it's like an inside joke and it's like,

398
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Speaker 2: you don't need to be talking about your poop all

399
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Speaker 2: the time.

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Speaker 1: See. I feel like the next time I'm around the

401
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 1: person i'm seeing, it's gonna be like, Okay, I gotta

402
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom now, I make a joke about

403
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 1: it because we had such a laughing fast about it.

404
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 1: This time I'll report back to you guys, Yeah, did

405
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: you want to tell a story that you may have

406
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: told before? But like this was so long ago that

407
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,400
Speaker 1: if we have any new listeners, I really do feel

408
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: like it's worth the while.

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00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, this is a good one. So I

410
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 2: was newly in a relationship and I hadn't spent the

411
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:37,239
Speaker 2: night at his house hat and I hadn't pooped at

412
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Speaker 2: his house hat either, nor he at mine and or

413
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Speaker 2: for as all as well as I know, and I

414
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: had been over at his house and like I guess,

415
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: we like watched TV or movie or something, and we'd

416
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 2: ordered dinner and it was late. I lived in Los

417
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Speaker 2: Angeles at the time, and we lived about twenty twenty

418
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Speaker 2: five minutes apart from each other. Yeah, it was late.

419
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Speaker 2: I think it was like two o'clock in the morning

420
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 2: on a week night. And I was like, I gotta

421
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:07,199
Speaker 2: go home, and because I had dogs and I, you know,

422
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 2: I need to go make sure that they were taken

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Speaker 2: care of. So I'm driving home and I'm like halfway

424
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 2: between my house and his house, and in that moment,

425
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 2: my stomach just went like dinner was not agreeing with me.

426
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Speaker 2: And it was like you know that moment when you're

427
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: in your car and you're like, I don't think I'm

428
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 2: going to make it home, And the closer you get

429
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 2: to home, your body's like, oh, you're getting close to home.

430
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 2: You're getting close to home, like evacuate now. And I

431
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 2: was like, I'm not gonna be able to make it home.

432
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Speaker 2: I'm like halfway there, and I was like start sweating,

433
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Speaker 2: and I'm like, do I turn around and go run

434
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 2: knock on his door to him and be like move,

435
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 2: I have to sh like get out of the or

436
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 2: do I just like get race home? And in that moment,

437
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 2: I'm like neither of those are options, and so nothing

438
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 2: is open, and I turn off the main street that

439
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 2: I'm on and I like pull into like a neighborhood

440
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 2: tree and I had to get out of my car

441
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 2: and I found a storm drain and I just ship

442
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 2: in the storm drain and I thank god I had

443
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: like a beach towel in my trunk, and I mean,

444
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: also thank god this was before the ring camera existed,

445
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 2: because I certainly.

446
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 1: God the neighbors.

447
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 2: The neighbors, and I had a towel so I was

448
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 2: able to clean up. It was trash night, so people's

449
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,919
Speaker 2: trash cans were out. I threw the towel in a

450
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 2: trash can in my car and I started hadding, and

451
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: like four minutes later, must have I went and I

452
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: was and I literally out loud said no, God no.

453
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 2: And I had to find another like quiet street and

454
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 2: pull over and do it again. And I had a

455
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 2: T shirt in my trunk that I used and I

456
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 2: had to throw that in a trash can food poisoning.

457
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 2: It must have been Yeah, that's absurd. I was. You know,

458
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 2: it's funny because when we were I was doing a

459
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: little bit of research for this podcast and and it

460
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: basically said, like this is kind of.

461
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: Gross, as if the rest of that story was right.

462
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it said, if you eat something that looks like diarrhea,

463
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 2: you can probably expect to have a loose stool, so

464
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 2: like beans, like anything that's softed probably will come out

465
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: that way. Okay, I can't say that this is fact,

466
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 2: but after telling that story and having read that, like

467
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 2: the place that we used to order from all the

468
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: time that he loved had sloppy Joe's, and I wonder

469
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 2: if I had.

470
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: The details now that I know about you storm drains,

471
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 1: sloppy Joe's and a storm drain.

472
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 2: I want anyone out there that witnessed it. I hope

473
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 2: not for my own embarrassment, Like, I just hope no

474
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 2: one had to see that.

475
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 1: If there's anyone listening and you happened to witness it,

476
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 1: please send us an email at the edge at velvet

477
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: dot com. I would literally that would be it. I

478
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: would be deceived. His license plate number was I don't.

479
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 2: Remember that, but.

480
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: Yeahs storm drain. I mean that's the part to me.

481
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: I'm just like I always.

482
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 2: Other option would be like do it in someone's yard,

483
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 2: like at least then it was like not on the road.

484
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,919
Speaker 2: It wasn't on the sidewalk.

485
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: Like it was. No, it was honestly so polite of you.

486
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like He's like, how can.

487
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 1: I take a ship in someone's driveway in the most

488
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 1: considerate way?

489
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: And I'm like backed up close to like it was,

490
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 2: you know, I was the storm drain was like between

491
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 2: my car and can. So it was like I also

492
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 2: was like a little private I thought I could be

493
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 2: Oh god, if you would have told me two years ago,

494
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 2: I would be telling this story on a podcast for.

495
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 1: The second time. This is the second time you told it.

496
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: It's like.

497
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 2: I should write a look.

498
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 1: You really should, I would read it.

499
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 2: Uh.

500
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 1: I think the moral of the story here, y'all is

501
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: everybody poops.

502
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 2: Everyone poops.

503
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 1: If you have any stories of newly dating and having

504
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: this awkward conversation or with ways that you've tried to

505
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: sneak it, I feel like we've actually brought this up

506
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: before too, and there was someone who told me they

507
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 1: like through had to throw their clothes out the window

508
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: when they were first dating someone like It was just

509
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 1: I don't know anyway, If you guys have any funny stories,

510
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: please share them with us. It's the Edge at velvetedge

511
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: dot com. You can also always hit me up on Instagram.

512
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: It's at Velvet's Edge.

513
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 2: Chip at chip doors it's Chip d O R S ECH.

514
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: As you guys are going into the weekend pooping all

515
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: along the way, I hope you always remember to live now.

516
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: Fuck try to get clever as you're living on the

517
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: edge pooping along the way. That's what I should have said.

518
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 2: You know.

519
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: You good? God all right anyway, Love you guys, have

520
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: you aways, remember too, ad casual n