WEBVTT - Has Diarrhea Ever Ruined Your Plans For The Day?

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<v Speaker 1>It's topic time called eight hundred and five five one

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<v Speaker 1>five one to join it to the discussion with the Breakfast.

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<v Speaker 2>Club Morning Everybody.

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<v Speaker 3>It's DJ Envy, Charlamagne the Gud We are the Breakfast

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<v Speaker 3>Club Nephew just joining us.

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<v Speaker 2>We're talking diarrhea this morning. We're talking diarrhea.

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<v Speaker 4>Now.

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<v Speaker 3>This conversation comes from our co host Jess Hilarious. She

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<v Speaker 3>was supposed to co host this morning, yes, and she

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<v Speaker 3>didn't make it. She's right across the street, bright croatter

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<v Speaker 3>the street. And what's crazy is she sent it.

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<v Speaker 1>She sent the text to one of our producers, was

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<v Speaker 1>like it was like, I'll be there at like five

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<v Speaker 1>fifty five, five fifty nine. Right then she sent a

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<v Speaker 1>text like bro, I'm on the toilet because she says

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<v Speaker 1>she has a bad seafood. And people are saying in

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<v Speaker 1>the comments that there's some oysters up north that have

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<v Speaker 1>been causing people's stomach problems.

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<v Speaker 2>Really, that's what people are saying in our comments.

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<v Speaker 3>Really, yeah, well, I don't know from you know, for

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<v Speaker 3>myself diary. Does you know how you say sometimes a

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<v Speaker 3>period o start nothing but a sentence whoa diarrhea doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>stop nothing at all?

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<v Speaker 1>For me whoa, if I have some talking about if

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<v Speaker 1>you were a bottom and you had messy diarrhea, you

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<v Speaker 1>will still let the person run.

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<v Speaker 2>That brown light? That was you're saying, this is not

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<v Speaker 2>a play in the munths.

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<v Speaker 1>No because the reason no, because the reason I say,

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<v Speaker 1>a parent don't stop nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm not so, especially when you married, right was whoa? Wow?

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<v Speaker 4>That was?

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<v Speaker 2>Wow?

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<v Speaker 3>That was I don't know why you used that, would

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<v Speaker 3>use that, But basically, diarrhea is not stopping anything.

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<v Speaker 2>It does not matter if I got diarrhea.

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<v Speaker 1>I will use whatever I have to use whatever, if

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<v Speaker 1>it's a public bathroom, if it's McDonald's. You know how

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<v Speaker 1>to tell how you know we lying. We're both men

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<v Speaker 1>of a certain age. I was born in nineteen hundred

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<v Speaker 1>and seventy eight. Yes, you were born in nineteen hundred

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<v Speaker 1>and sixty three.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a lot, right. We got colon correct, you ain't

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<v Speaker 2>leaving that damn house.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was about when you're doing that, and I

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<v Speaker 1>told you you you remember, because I was to show

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<v Speaker 1>you right, and I had a party. He was like, Eavy, please,

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<v Speaker 1>only you bugging? And you the day before a colonocopy.

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<v Speaker 1>The prep you gotta do for that colonocopy. That's a

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<v Speaker 1>different I don't even know if you call that diarrhea.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a different level.

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<v Speaker 2>That's waters. It's just not but ain't nothing the water.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a clean out whole system.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was gonna do a party. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>party lined up, and he was like, you are bugging, Please,

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<v Speaker 1>ain't the house member. I should have told you to

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<v Speaker 1>go see I should have told you to go and

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<v Speaker 1>send Nick on cameraman. Just don't follow you around all

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<v Speaker 1>night long. That would have been amazing to see.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I've been in pay with diarrhea. You was

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<v Speaker 1>up here with diarrhea. You threw your underwear in the

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<v Speaker 1>trash right.

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<v Speaker 2>I passed gas. I shot it and it had a little,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, brown on my underwear.

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't walk around with the stinky stick, so I

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<v Speaker 3>just took my underwear off.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's when the Janita thought he was really wild,

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<v Speaker 1>and the custodians thought he was bugging. They was finding

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<v Speaker 1>bloodstained things and dirty underwear with Dodo in it. There

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<v Speaker 1>was no blood stains in my underwear. That's not what

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<v Speaker 1>he said, because that just sounded that sounded crazy. That

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<v Speaker 1>sounded crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Jesus Jaine. Hey, Jasmine, good morning, good morning. When did

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<v Speaker 2>you have lose booty?

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<v Speaker 5>In high school? For my teacher, right, this was like

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<v Speaker 5>the worst teacher at his school. So I guess everybody

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<v Speaker 5>hadn't accident. It goes to the bathroom that day, and

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<v Speaker 5>for my g it's my senior year. I was seventeen,

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<v Speaker 5>was about six months pregnant, so I'm a gonna go

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<v Speaker 5>to the bathroom. First of all, you're not supposed to

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<v Speaker 5>be not no pregnant person.

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<v Speaker 4>To go to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 5>But the teacher was like no, So I'm thinking I

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<v Speaker 5>can hold. I'm like all right, you know, we only

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<v Speaker 5>got like an hour after school, so about ten minutes

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<v Speaker 5>so by, and I felt like I had to pass

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<v Speaker 5>gas and it just went.

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<v Speaker 4>Less from there.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man, pregnant.

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<v Speaker 5>I finished that school year a lot at home and

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<v Speaker 5>just saw that everybody went to graduation?

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<v Speaker 2>Would it looked like Hennessy with grilled chicken in hell? Goodbye? Jasmine?

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<v Speaker 3>Well that's disgusting, dre Yo, what's up y'all? Turn the radio,

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<v Speaker 3>damn brother, turn right now. Now, tell us when you

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<v Speaker 3>had lose booty?

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<v Speaker 6>Bro, Hey, bo, I ain't gonna say lose booty, but

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<v Speaker 6>this one time I was working for this inventory company

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<v Speaker 6>who were doing the invatory and expressed clothing.

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<v Speaker 4>And it was like six o'clock in the morning. So

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<v Speaker 4>I just had to go on.

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<v Speaker 6>Their bathroom and I blew it up so bad I

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<v Speaker 6>stopped to toilet up.

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<v Speaker 7>I even tried to plunge it.

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<v Speaker 6>I even tried to pleasure it in the wood.

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<v Speaker 2>And we're talking about it.

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<v Speaker 6>Locked the door and left out.

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<v Speaker 2>Was there a plunge it in there?

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<v Speaker 6>It was?

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<v Speaker 4>I tried, like I tried doing it, and so I

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<v Speaker 4>just locked the door, left out, and I finished the

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<v Speaker 4>job and we just left and like as we was leaving,

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<v Speaker 4>it was like who locked the bathroom door?

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<v Speaker 6>And I just got out of there.

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<v Speaker 2>I hate people like you, I really do. I hate people.

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<v Speaker 1>I hate people who leave behind evidence of the scene

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<v Speaker 1>them the crimes we're supposed to do. I can't stand

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<v Speaker 1>when I walk in the bathroom and I just see

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<v Speaker 1>somebody else's dude, Like you ain't see all of that

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<v Speaker 1>in there, you know what I mean? He just said

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<v Speaker 1>he tried. He could call somebody. You can call a

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<v Speaker 1>custody into something. We've seen that happen before. Remember that

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<v Speaker 1>time in Myrtle Beach when Paris. Yes, you know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. She decided to eat seven out of twelve

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<v Speaker 1>Christmas Treme donuts, I remember, and she messed the bathroom

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<v Speaker 1>up and we had to call down and that person

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<v Speaker 1>had to come fix it, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And then and then the first time they didn't get it.

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<v Speaker 2>So I called back again and the guy was like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I was just up there. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>The guy was com playing. That's how.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how the dude was. Tell you like, I just

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<v Speaker 1>saw it all. He was like, what what was she eating?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't know, sir, but you know, Jesus.

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<v Speaker 3>Eight hundred and five eight five, one oh five one,

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<v Speaker 3>we're talking loose booties this morning.

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<v Speaker 2>Have you ever ever had diarrheas so bad and you

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<v Speaker 2>can make it to work?

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe you missed the game. It was just that bad.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's talk about it. It's the breakfast slogo morning.

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<v Speaker 2>Ain't no call me your opinions to the Breakfast Club top.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on eight hundred five one morning.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody's DJ NV Charlamagne the guy. We are the Breakfast Club.

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<v Speaker 2>Now. If you're just joining us, we had a co

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<v Speaker 2>host this wanted just Alarius. You didn't make it to work.

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<v Speaker 1>Our good sister just Allaris, but she will be co

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<v Speaker 1>hosting the first of a Black ect podcast festival this

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<v Speaker 1>Saturday in Atlanta.

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<v Speaker 2>Jess, it's literally across the street. She's across the street. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>she doesn't get off the talk. She can't. She just

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<v Speaker 2>can't get off the court. And it's happened to all

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<v Speaker 2>of us. Yes, it's never made me not come to work,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm not leaving the house if I got really

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<v Speaker 1>really really bad diarrhea because it's just too embarrassing.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, but it is what it is. It's not you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know what I mean, Like it's gotta be something. But

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, even when I got like a really

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<v Speaker 1>really big event, like I know, I got to do

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<v Speaker 1>something like really important, I watch what I eat on purpose.

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<v Speaker 1>I watch it I eat the day before, and I

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<v Speaker 1>watch what I eat the day of because of situations

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<v Speaker 1>like this. Straight up all I say, Saturday in Atlanta, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I know that I'm gonna be all.

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<v Speaker 2>I'ma be out all day at the festival.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna eat very very very light the night before,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm probably not even gonna have breakfast.

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<v Speaker 2>I probably will because I'm very regular. I poop every

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<v Speaker 2>day at eight thirty is, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So after I get that out, I'm good for today

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<v Speaker 1>because I know I'm gonna be there all day. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't like pooping in public, that's number one. And I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to end up having the bubble guts.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, let's go to the phone lines. Hello,

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<v Speaker 2>who's this.

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<v Speaker 4>Hello, This is Chandler, and you'll hear me from coming

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<v Speaker 4>to Ohio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning, Chandler, Chandler, Good morning, Good morning, loose booty problems.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>Man, I was talking to this girl up and finally

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<v Speaker 6>for two years, finally got to get on it.

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<v Speaker 4>Get a date with her or whatever.

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<v Speaker 6>Right, Uh So I tell her to meet me at

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<v Speaker 6>the restaurant or whatever. I'm running a little late and

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<v Speaker 6>I had a new train drink right before, and I

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<v Speaker 6>just had the worst case of month, Like I had

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<v Speaker 6>to lay on the floor.

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<v Speaker 4>It was bad.

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<v Speaker 6>So I lied to her and told her, like, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>my cars messed up. He woop, So really I had

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<v Speaker 6>mother butt. So I guess you rode by my house

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<v Speaker 6>like an hour later, and she was like, how's your

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<v Speaker 6>car not worked? And I just seen you pull off

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<v Speaker 6>and I just.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you be honest with her in that moment and say,

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<v Speaker 1>man I really had mud button. I was too embarrassed

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<v Speaker 1>to tell you.

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<v Speaker 6>No, I start speaking Japanese. Man I just I just

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<v Speaker 6>made up a line. She just never ever hit me back,

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<v Speaker 6>Block me from social media, let block my number and

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<v Speaker 6>everything that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Real, And it's better than to just tell the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody has had muney, But that's a moment to relate

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<v Speaker 1>to that young lady in a much deeper way.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, who's this now? Tell us what happened with you? Mama.

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<v Speaker 8>I used to manage local artists and I had a

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<v Speaker 8>fight party at my house and my friend brought her

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<v Speaker 8>homeboy who was military, so he felt like he could

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<v Speaker 8>party as hard as by art did.

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<v Speaker 5>But he couldn't.

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<v Speaker 8>We had a line to come go to the bathroom

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<v Speaker 8>after the fight party. He trying to shuffled out the

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<v Speaker 8>bathroom kind of fast. He was kind of like, wife

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<v Speaker 8>was so bad. He had booboo all over my bathroom.

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<v Speaker 2>What you mean booboo all over your bathroom?

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<v Speaker 8>He couldn't hold his stomach. They out there doing all

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<v Speaker 8>them heavy drumks. You know, rappers think you drugs drugs.

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<v Speaker 8>So during the party, they was doing drugs.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn.

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<v Speaker 6>I guess he.

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<v Speaker 8>Thought it was military or command. Though he can hang

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<v Speaker 8>as hard as my boys could, but you couldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Did y'all clown them? Did y'all Did y'all clown them?

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<v Speaker 1>You be like, nah, bro, that's not that's not the

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<v Speaker 1>way you posted show on him as a rapper.

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<v Speaker 8>No, he said he didn't, boomo, he said any want

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<v Speaker 8>to him? I got one bathroom and what him?

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<v Speaker 2>One bathroom and won him? Let me ask you a question, right,

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<v Speaker 2>why wouldn't you have to go?

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<v Speaker 3>It's it's it feels like it's extra more when you

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<v Speaker 3>right when you're about to unbuckle your pants.

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<v Speaker 1>Because if you wait, because what happens is the first

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<v Speaker 1>your first thought is I think I gotta go, And

0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.200
<v Speaker 1>you be like, nah, I ain't that serious, And then

0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:24.839
<v Speaker 1>your stomach be like, hey, I ain't playing with you.

0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:27.679
<v Speaker 1>As soon as it's like that's right, your stomach be like,

0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm going with it without you.

0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.280
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's go to one more caller.

0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.920
<v Speaker 7>Hello is this and this is Lola. Good morning, y'all.

0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:35.560
<v Speaker 7>How are you?

0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.000
<v Speaker 2>Hey? Lola? Talk to us, Mama? What happened with you?

0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:38.840
<v Speaker 8>Oh?

0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:39.439
<v Speaker 2>My god?

0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:43.319
<v Speaker 7>So it was a family reunion and we runted the

0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.720
<v Speaker 7>fifteen passenger van. We were going to Water Country, USA,

0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.920
<v Speaker 7>and we got there and my ibs started acting up

0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.160
<v Speaker 7>and water and diarrhea.

0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:55.000
<v Speaker 1>It's just not a good look.

0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:59.000
<v Speaker 7>I was like, Yeah, they had to shut the tool down.

0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:03.360
<v Speaker 7>You did the pool?

0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:04.360
<v Speaker 2>How old were you?

0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:06.440
<v Speaker 7>I was what forty one?

0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:06.800
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:08.360
<v Speaker 2>My goodness? That is.

0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.600
<v Speaker 7>I didn't try. I thought it was like a little pool,

0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:13.360
<v Speaker 7>but it wasn't.

0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.040
<v Speaker 2>So you love, you turned the whole pool in the

0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:16.840
<v Speaker 2>pool pool water man.

0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.120
<v Speaker 7>They had to shut it down. I was so embarrassed,

0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:24.199
<v Speaker 7>as you should be sound proud too. I know I'm

0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:26.360
<v Speaker 7>not proud, but when you live with I, yes, you

0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.800
<v Speaker 7>can't help it. I don't feel like y'all should joke

0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:32.000
<v Speaker 7>on Jess. I will say this though, Jess with the

0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:34.720
<v Speaker 7>mess takes on a whole nother meaning now, yes it does,

0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:35.680
<v Speaker 7>Yes it.

0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:37.960
<v Speaker 1>Does, Yes it does. And I hope that you winn't

0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.200
<v Speaker 1>got a job at UPS. Right after that, Jesus, what

0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:41.199
<v Speaker 1>can Brown do for you?

0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Do you do?

0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:43.120
<v Speaker 6>Brown?

0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:47.520
<v Speaker 2>Hello? Who's this? Just with the what's your name?

0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:49.119
<v Speaker 4>Man?

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:49.520
<v Speaker 2>Hey?

0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:49.880
<v Speaker 1>What's up?

0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.280
<v Speaker 2>Bro? Talk to us? Man? You had a loose booty skin?

0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:54.559
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, First of all, I just want to say, Charlane,

0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:58.240
<v Speaker 4>you're crazy. But this was way back in the day.

0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:04.320
<v Speaker 4>I was supposed to mean with tailor and Taylor. Yeah, Taylor,

0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:04.920
<v Speaker 4>that worked.

0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:10.199
<v Speaker 1>Up our Tailor gang Tailor Man fun sized team.

0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:15.199
<v Speaker 4>Yes, you know Philly Jones with Doby. Can I get myself.

0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:16.920
<v Speaker 2>Trying to make sure? I need to make sure that

0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:18.440
<v Speaker 2>tailor is a producer?

0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:20.760
<v Speaker 1>Here, Bine, get out of here. Don't come here and

0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:24.440
<v Speaker 1>rupt in the tailor. All right, go ahead, what happened now?

0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 4>Dash out the tailor? But we hadn't on the app.

0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.280
<v Speaker 4>I think it was okay Cupid or something like that,

0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.480
<v Speaker 4>and we're supposed to link for a date. So I'm

0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.240
<v Speaker 4>about to lead the house. My stomach starts feeling crazy.

0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.120
<v Speaker 4>So I text Taylor like, yo, can you push the

0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.320
<v Speaker 4>date back to like half an hour? And she she

0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:46.360
<v Speaker 4>was not having it. That sound like you wasting time.

0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:48.120
<v Speaker 2>That's right.

0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:52.160
<v Speaker 4>That sounds like it's like wasting my time. And that

0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:53.280
<v Speaker 4>was literally the time I.

0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:56.040
<v Speaker 2>Was supposed to tail it may have bubble guts tails

0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:59.720
<v Speaker 2>bubble gus. You can't have that's messed up. T you okay, QP.

0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.600
<v Speaker 1>You think about people's medical conditions and stuff, man, before

0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:04.120
<v Speaker 1>you do stuff like that that's messed up.

0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:05.719
<v Speaker 2>Sir, Taylor, is it here right now? Would you like

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:07.200
<v Speaker 2>to try another date? Yeah?

0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:07.680
<v Speaker 4>I would love.

0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:11.360
<v Speaker 2>You, would love you would love to do what Now

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.360
<v Speaker 2>take I said take her out? Don't take she's always

0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.480
<v Speaker 2>talking nothing? What this gentleman wants to take you out?

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:21.320
<v Speaker 2>Would you give another chance on it? Don't you miss

0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:26.640
<v Speaker 2>your don't your blessing? This could be Taylor? All right?

0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:28.080
<v Speaker 2>What do you look like?

0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.240
<v Speaker 4>Your blessing? Tailor what do you look like?

0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:31.839
<v Speaker 2>Sir? Clearly you already.

0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:34.560
<v Speaker 4>See twenty four?

0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.760
<v Speaker 2>H the Goat? Yeah, old on, let me let me

0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:39.880
<v Speaker 2>let me look you up? What is it? H the Goat?

0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:45.239
<v Speaker 2>As the goat? A you spelled the regular like a negro.

0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:48.360
<v Speaker 4>Regular regular case the goat?

0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:52.120
<v Speaker 2>Twenty four Kevin, you look like you still got diarrhea? Bro?

0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.360
<v Speaker 2>Is that you got you only with your love? I'm

0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.760
<v Speaker 2>looking at him right here. Oh that's not from Brooklyn?

0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:57.760
<v Speaker 4>Oh ye from Brooklyn?

0:12:57.920 --> 0:12:58.000
<v Speaker 6>Bro.

0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.920
<v Speaker 4>And while I'm I want to shout out my podcast.

0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.600
<v Speaker 1>Mind now you can't detail.

0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:06.360
<v Speaker 2>You can't.

0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:11.400
<v Speaker 1>Saying you got a podcast like saying you a mixtape rapper. Nope, nope,

0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.440
<v Speaker 1>no man, see you had us. That is the morrow

0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.960
<v Speaker 1>of the story. All right, Jesus Christ.

0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:19.760
<v Speaker 3>But when we come back, we got your room of report.

0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:23.440
<v Speaker 3>We got to talk Nick Cannon. Now, Nick Cannon got

0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 3>a lot of kids. You think he can remember all

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.480
<v Speaker 3>his kids' names. We'll talk about it when we come back.

0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.520
<v Speaker 3>It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, The Breakfast Club.