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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend demands I remove a family photo before she

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Speaker 2: moves in, but she won't give me a good reason.

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Speaker 3: Why do we have a problem with grandma? Why can't

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Speaker 3: she be in the family photo?

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Speaker 2: Maybe she just doesn't like the way they look. I

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Speaker 2: don't know, let's figure it out. Well, maybe this is

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Speaker 2: like I just say, that photo so ugly. I will

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Speaker 2: not live in the house with this hugging photo. That

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Speaker 2: is not you. That is not you. I'm not allowing that.

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Speaker 2: I twenty six male, think this is completely ridiculous, but

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Speaker 2: maybe I'm actually wrong. So here it goes. I've been

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Speaker 2: with my girlfriend twenty six female for five years, but

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Speaker 2: we've known each other since we were fifteen. I'm fortunate

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Speaker 2: to have my own place, and we've discussed for a

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Speaker 2: while her moving in with me, as she's been staying

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Speaker 2: in the house or often by the way. This comes

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Speaker 2: from user odd Locksmith ninety five hundred on the r

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Speaker 2: slash okay storytime subreddit. This wasn't a problem until she

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Speaker 2: was about to move in. I have a few photos

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Speaker 2: in the house of me with members of my family.

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Speaker 2: The problem is with a specific photo of me with

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Speaker 2: my brother and father. She told me to remove the

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Speaker 2: photo before she moved in to accommodate her. I asked

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Speaker 2: her why and she answered that it's quote unquote weird.

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Speaker 2: But to me, there's nothing weird about the photo. She's

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Speaker 2: the one making it weird.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I gotta see this photo.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you were gonna drop a conspiracy.

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Speaker 3: My conspiracy is they had got a weird pose going on,

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Speaker 3: and I frog posey. Yeah, yeah, who knows, because like

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Speaker 3: some photos can be like a little like something's off.

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Speaker 3: But it's just a picture of him and.

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Speaker 2: His dad or and his brother when they were young.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because she could have had past entanglements with either

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Speaker 3: one of those people in those photos, so that might

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Speaker 3: be possibility as well, or.

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Speaker 2: As it's Britney Beach just said she did the dad

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Speaker 2: or brother exactly.

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Speaker 3: That's mykenspoos the theory. But in the chat right now.

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Speaker 2: I don't know the only thing weird about the photos

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Speaker 2: maybe is that all of them are when I was

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Speaker 2: a child, but none of them are inappropriate or have

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Speaker 2: something you could take the wrong way. She had no

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Speaker 2: other argument than that, and in the end I refused

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Speaker 2: and she said she wouldn't move in, and I was

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Speaker 2: okay with that. Great are you though, dude? I think

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Speaker 2: you both got you guys are both having weird priorities

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Speaker 2: right now over this picture.

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Speaker 3: I don't want you to move in anyways.

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Speaker 2: This has been a topic of discussion for the past

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Speaker 2: few days. Some of our friends and even my father

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Speaker 2: said that I should remove the photo to make her

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Speaker 2: feel welcome. But I just find that again ridiculous at it.

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Speaker 2: I won't post the photo because I don't feel comfortable,

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Speaker 2: but I will describe it as much as possible. Case

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Speaker 2: so we here's this.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I just post the photo and blink

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Speaker 3: out the eyes.

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Speaker 2: Now it's a family photo. He's keeping it close to

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Speaker 2: the vest.

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Speaker 3: If you feel so uncomfortable posting it, then maybe it

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Speaker 3: is a weird photo.

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Speaker 2: Where about the find out?

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Speaker 3: Well, if they find my Facebook or whatever my Instagram,

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Speaker 3: my family is there.

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Speaker 2: So here's a description of the photo, all right. The

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Speaker 2: photo was taken when my brother was six and I

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Speaker 2: was seven. In the middle is my father with a

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Speaker 2: grin from ear to ear, his eyes closed and his

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Speaker 2: arms extended to the side. To the left is my

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Speaker 2: brother buzz Cut, standing straight with his arms at the

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Speaker 2: side like a soldier in a serious face. To my

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Speaker 2: father's right is me long hair, standing like a boxer

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Speaker 2: from nineteen ten, with my chinup and a mean mugs,

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Speaker 2: all wearing a suit. Because it was taken at my

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Speaker 2: uncle's wedding, the photo was taken outside the place where

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Speaker 2: the event took place. There's nothing exceptional related to the place.

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Speaker 2: The only thing aside from us is the sun, the

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Speaker 2: blue sky, and a bunch of trees. I have no

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Speaker 2: idea why she has a problem with this, and also

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Speaker 2: why you can't just be like, all right, I'll put

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Speaker 2: the picture somewhere else. I guess if you don't like

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Speaker 2: this picture, I feel like there's a picture of that

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Speaker 2: hanging in my house somewhere. She has met my family.

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Speaker 2: She has always been respectful and friendly with them and

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Speaker 2: vice versa. There hasn't been any incidents or problems with

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Speaker 2: any of them. And I've asked her and she's denied it.

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Speaker 2: Her problem is with the photo. I described above. I

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Speaker 2: have other photos with my father and brother individually. I

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Speaker 2: do the same pose in various photos. I have one

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Speaker 2: doing the same pose with my paternal grandfather where we

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Speaker 2: were both wearing boxing gloves. He's the one who taught

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Speaker 2: me the pose. She has stayed in the house multiple days,

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Speaker 2: even weeks. She has things here. She never brought up

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Speaker 2: the issue. I'm all for compromising, but I need a

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Speaker 2: proper explanation other than it's weird. She is very fond

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Speaker 2: of it, and that's not a problem. She's like, I

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Speaker 2: can't see a photo of you when you were five

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Speaker 2: seven years old with long hair. That's weird. But that's

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Speaker 2: apparently not the case.

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Speaker 3: We don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't have a really, Oh, it's just weird.

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Speaker 2: I want the reason none of the photos stand out.

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Speaker 2: They're put on a small part of the wall in

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Speaker 2: the living room. With the others, including the ones that

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Speaker 2: I'm with her. They're not b big or i'd basically

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Speaker 2: be upholstering the entire wall. She had issues with her family,

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Speaker 2: but they solved it. But I don't rule out that

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Speaker 2: something happened, and she hasn't told me. I'm reading your replies,

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Speaker 2: but my apologies for not answering every comment. There's just

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Speaker 2: too many. We've talked this morning, and this has nothing

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Speaker 2: to do with me or my family, but hers. Okay,

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Speaker 2: the photos brought some feelings and she was feeling bad

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Speaker 2: for someone else and not for herself. It has to

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Speaker 2: do with one of her nephews. He is going through

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Speaker 2: the same situation as her when she was fifteen. No

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Speaker 2: abuse for those concerned, and she has been blocked about

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Speaker 2: what to do. You know what I can really respect

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Speaker 2: to like, clearly Op is keeping this stuff close to

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Speaker 2: It's like he's not really saying what the actual problems are.

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Speaker 2: He's trying to maintain as much privacy here as possible,

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Speaker 2: which I actually I kind of I respect that she

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Speaker 2: apologized for her behavior in the past days and for

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Speaker 2: taking it out on me instead of coming for help.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to see her once I get out of work,

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Speaker 2: so she can tell me about it and we can

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Speaker 2: find a way to stop her from going nuclear on

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Speaker 2: her family and we can help her nephew.

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Speaker 3: So the photo reminded of something that the nephew is

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Speaker 3: going through that she also went through.

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Speaker 2: I think the photo was like triggering some kind of

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Speaker 2: like trauma memory or potentially like it was bringing up

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Speaker 2: bad feelings because it made her, I guess, for some

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Speaker 2: reason remember something that also the nephew's going through. I

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Speaker 2: don't know, very mysterious. Before the update, I will clarify

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Speaker 2: some points. And also, please excuse my English, it's my

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Speaker 2: third language.

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Speaker 3: I've heard that one yet.

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Speaker 2: I looked at the photo for a solid thirty minutes,

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Speaker 2: and again, there's nothing remotely wrong. It wasn't taken at

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Speaker 2: the wedding, but at the reception, and still it wasn't

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Speaker 2: a religious wedding, and you can't tell there's a party

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Speaker 2: going on. Also, I said the size of the photo,

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Speaker 2: but I was just spitting nonsense. It's even smaller. Religion

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Speaker 2: was noted. We are not religious and we have no

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Speaker 2: incidents related to it. My father's pose was also pointed out.

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Speaker 2: I know, it's hard to imagine it. His arms are

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Speaker 2: not extended like a tee. They are extended in an

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Speaker 2: angle with his palms open, pointing at us like look

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Speaker 2: at them. I used to grin, but smile is better

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Speaker 2: synonyms in the end, but whatever, he says that in

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Speaker 2: previous photos with him, we just stand there and smile,

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Speaker 2: and he expected the same but we just came up

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Speaker 2: with that. It was the first. I was the first

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Speaker 2: to pose, and when my brother saw me, he didn't

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Speaker 2: know what to do and ended up standing still and serious.

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Speaker 2: He also says that our poses described perfectly how we

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Speaker 2: were in our childhood, my brother the goodye two shoes

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Speaker 2: and me the troublemaker. He was trying not to laugh

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Speaker 2: his butt off, and that's why he had closed his

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Speaker 2: eyes and a smile from ear to ear.

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Speaker 4: This is just a silly photos just a silly photo?

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Speaker 5: Was it?

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Speaker 2: Like their uncle?

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't know the girlfriend's point of view. I want

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Speaker 3: to know where she's coming up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I think that's the valuable nothing here. I

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Speaker 2: think that's what we need.

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Speaker 6: I think what oh he's trying to do is just

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Speaker 6: like make it more clear, like yeah, there's nothing wrong

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Speaker 6: with this photo, wrong with the fact.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I'm scratching my head here. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what why is she so well?

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Speaker 7: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you can see something and it's like it'll make

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Speaker 2: you think of something that like sucks to think about,

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Speaker 2: and he'll be like, I just don't want to have

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Speaker 2: to look at that. I think I think it's weird

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Speaker 2: of her being so secretive about you is a reason, then, yes,

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Speaker 2: because it's not about her, it's about the nephew, So

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Speaker 2: maybe she's being here.

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Speaker 3: He is the nephew. My conspiracy theory is that the

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Speaker 3: nephew lost his own brother.

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Speaker 4: Do you think she's trying to use the nephew as

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Speaker 4: like escape.

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Speaker 2: You also said that a member of my family could

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Speaker 2: have slept with my girlfriend. We might be a little wild,

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Speaker 2: but we're not complete animals. Everyone in my family is

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Speaker 2: friendly and most importantly, very respectful to my girlfriend the

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Speaker 2: same way we are with my brother's wife, father's wife,

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Speaker 2: and uncle's wife, women who joined our family and who

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Speaker 2: also treat us the same way. Besides, Grandma would cut

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Speaker 2: her nuts off if we act inappropriately with any of

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Speaker 2: them or other women, we in any sense would break

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Speaker 2: someone's trust or would go lengths to split our already

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Speaker 2: small family. We would rather lose an arm. And there

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Speaker 2: are not incidents of this of any kind in my

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Speaker 2: girlfriend's family either. Many of you jumped to extremes. I

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Speaker 2: can't fault you given the amount of information I provided,

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Speaker 2: but I hope this update can clear things down.

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Speaker 4: It's the third language. Their third language is their third language.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, okay, yes, okay, okay, yes they're black. Go bye.

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Speaker 2: Sorry sorry. My girlfriend had problems with her family when

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Speaker 2: she was fifteen. All of them, including all of her

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Speaker 2: extended family, are involved in the medical field and they

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Speaker 2: expect everyone to do the same. They were very supportive

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Speaker 2: of her until she decided to follow a different path.

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Speaker 2: They let her study what she wanted, but there was friction.

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Speaker 2: They spent her high school years in therapy fixing their relationship,

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Speaker 2: and they did, according to her. Now, her nephew, her

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Speaker 2: brother's son, also wants to pursue a different career. He

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Speaker 2: has been facing the same problems my girlfriend faced. He

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Speaker 2: called her because he knows that she does something completely

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Speaker 2: different and because the relationship with his father and even

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Speaker 2: with my girlfriend's parents change drastically. The call happened days

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Speaker 2: before she was about to move in with me, and

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Speaker 2: what caused her behavior. My girlfriend wanted to deal with

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Speaker 2: the situation before she moved in with me and by herself. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: she did it horribly. On the day of our fight.

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Speaker 2: She hasn't thought in anything other than going ballistic. She

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Speaker 2: was going to tell me about it and ask for help,

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Speaker 2: but she decided to pick a stupid fight to buy

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Speaker 2: time and deal with the situation. Oh wait, I don't

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Speaker 2: like how the tone of this just took a hard

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Speaker 2: shift from supportive to kind of bitter. Not only dimensioned photo,

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Speaker 2: but all of them brought bad feelings. Oh she just

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Speaker 2: selected the goofiest one. Ooh, she not only felt bad

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Speaker 2: for herself, but especially for her nephew. She doesn't have

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Speaker 2: a problem with the photos. She likes them or with

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Speaker 2: my family. It's the contrast. I hope this makes sense.

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Speaker 2: I think it doesn't.

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Speaker 3: It does.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't have a problem with the family, she doesn't

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Speaker 2: have a problem with the photos. It's just when she

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Speaker 2: sees photos of a happy family, it makes her feel sad.

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Speaker 3: It makes her feel sad, And I also think that's

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Speaker 3: the reason why she didn't move in. It's because she

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Speaker 3: feels sad when she sees she sees those family fixtures,

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Speaker 3: and she's going to be moving in with the family,

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Speaker 3: thus making another family. She probably has like rejection from that,

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Speaker 3: and does it feel like she deserves to be loved.

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Speaker 2: My family has always supported us no matter what, and

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Speaker 2: the photos show that, while with her family it seems

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Speaker 2: their support is still conditional. She thought her family knew

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Speaker 2: better at this point after what happened with her. In

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Speaker 2: our first chat after I made the post, she apologized

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Speaker 2: for her behavior and told me what I wrote above.

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Speaker 2: She explained that she felt overwhelmed and she broke down

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Speaker 2: when the thought that I might be breaking up with

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Speaker 2: her popped in her head, which was never implied by me,

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Speaker 2: which prompted her to book an emergency session with her

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Speaker 2: therapist Nice. She had the session before our talk. She

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Speaker 2: accepts and knows that everything could have been avoided if

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Speaker 2: she had told me what was happening. That's just really

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Speaker 2: quick pause. That is some of the best advice for

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Speaker 2: any relationship, whether it's a romantic one or one with

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Speaker 2: your parents or siblings or friends, If you just talk

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Speaker 2: openly about what's going on, you can save yourself so

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Speaker 2: many problems.

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Speaker 3: And it's so funny that she mentions this because I

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Speaker 3: was reading a book and on how to like fix

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Speaker 3: like inner relationships and how to like work with them,

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Speaker 3: and the first one I read was like Rejection, and

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of reading through it, and this is like,

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Speaker 3: if you feel rejected, like if you were rejected by

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Speaker 3: your family, you're gonna reject.

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Speaker 2: Others despite what this situation implies. She has never made

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Speaker 2: these types of demands and knows that I don't tolerate them,

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Speaker 2: and she completely regrets it. Our communication has always been good.

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Speaker 2: We have always been open with our needs, our problems,

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Speaker 2: and what we want in the future. Not for nothing,

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Speaker 2: we are moving together. We already had a long trial

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Speaker 2: thanks to the quarantine, and I understand her a little

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Speaker 2: because things have been going really well between us and

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Speaker 2: with her family. The situation with her nephew came out

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Speaker 2: of nowhere and shook her up a lot. She knows

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Speaker 2: that I'm still a bit upset that it took her

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Speaker 2: this long to come to her senses, and she keeps apologizing,

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Speaker 2: but she's taking the right steps to move forward, so

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Speaker 2: we're cool. I also talk to still do more in

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Speaker 2: depth about us, and we're in the same page. I'm

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Speaker 2: not going anywhere, and she's been more than explicit that

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Speaker 2: she isn't either. She suggested couple's therapy, and although I'm

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Speaker 2: not against it, if we communicate like before and now,

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Speaker 2: I think we'll be fine. But don't rule it out.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, I hope you never rule out

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Speaker 2: hearing stories just like this one on any of your

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Speaker 2: favorite podcast platforms because they are out there on Spotify,

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Speaker 2: on Apple podcasts, wherever you can listen, not watch. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: not Google podcasts because they don't exist anymore. You can

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Speaker 2: watch stories just like this one. All you gotta do

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Speaker 2: is search okay story time on any of your favorite platforms.

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Speaker 3: Ooh. Ashley medigodpoint. She said she was in therapy already

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Speaker 3: with her family. It's them mishandling her nephew that started

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Speaker 3: up again.

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Speaker 2: The nephew reached out to her and was like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I know that you aren't a doctor or you're not

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Speaker 2: in the medical field. What do I do because this

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00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,880
Speaker 2: is happening to me. So it like reawoke all of

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Speaker 2: this stuff. I guess that she'd gone through which you

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00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,120
Speaker 2: know it can happen, and it's because she's already in therapy.

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00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's working through it.

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Speaker 2: I like also being like, I mean, we might even

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Speaker 2: be good without a couple's therapy. It's like, if we

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Speaker 2: can just talk openly like we've been, we might not

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Speaker 2: even need to go, which I agree with, Like, if you,

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Speaker 2: if you can continue to talk it out the way

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Speaker 2: that you just did for now, we are going to

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Speaker 2: keep things as they are until the situation with her

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00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,960
Speaker 2: family is resolved, whatever the outcome, which made her rush

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Speaker 2: to message her parents to set a meeting with them

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Speaker 2: next week. Lol. We are taking it easy and dealing

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00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,240
Speaker 2: with one problem at a time. The photos are staying,

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Speaker 2: and she will bring hers once she moves in to

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Speaker 2: put them with them, like we agreed before. Oh so

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be like a little picture party and that's

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00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,680
Speaker 2: the end. That's the end of that story. That is

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00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,720
Speaker 2: great to chat. You all were right eight percent of you.

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00:14:54,880 --> 00:15:00,480
Speaker 2: We're correct. Wait wait for a week apparently, because hey,

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00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 2: that's still waiting waiting?

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00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,160
Speaker 3: Is men still still waiting? My girlfriend is still friends

328
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 3: with past hookups and is bothering me?

329
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,720
Speaker 2: You could still talk, bro, I feel like interpreted dances silent,

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Speaker 2: All right, that's my interpretation.

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Speaker 3: I twenty three male, and my girlfriend twenty two female,

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00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,680
Speaker 3: have been together for about a year. We met on

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Speaker 3: tender and we went on a date soon after that.

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Speaker 3: Pretty much from the moment we saw each other, we

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00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,440
Speaker 3: knew we were right for each other. In fact, our

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00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,080
Speaker 3: first date ended up being twelve hours long because we

337
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,040
Speaker 3: just didn't want to leave each other. By the way,

338
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,160
Speaker 3: this comes from emergency Citron eighty three on the our

339
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 3: side Okay story tom subreddit. So we went on a

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00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:45,880
Speaker 3: few more dates and then became exclusive very quickly, and

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00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 3: our relationship since has been incredible. We both absolutely see

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00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 3: a future with each other and are planning on staying

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Speaker 3: together as much as humanly possible. Now I know that

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00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:02,120
Speaker 3: my girlfriend had a major who in the approximately six

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00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,120
Speaker 3: months before we met. We haven't gone in depth. I

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00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 3: don't want to know, but we have discussed, and I've

347
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 3: heard mutterings from friends too. I think she hooked up

348
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 3: with six or seven pretty much random men during that time.

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00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,640
Speaker 3: Who in six months, that's one that's one a month.

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00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 2: Uh No, interpret of dance, you're still running, man, because

351
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 2: that's what she's doing. She's running through those men.

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00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 3: I've done similar things too. I have no reason to

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00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 3: ever think that she ever hasn't been faithful to me

354
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,600
Speaker 3: or hidden it from me or anyone else. She was

355
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 3: posting me on Instagram after like a month together. She

356
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 3: actually deleted her Snapchat when we started dating, and I

357
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 3: know for a fact she doesn't have dating apps anymore.

358
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Speaker 3: We agreed to just not talk about our spicy past

359
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,600
Speaker 3: now that we're together. About two months ago she told

360
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 3: me that a guy she met on a vacation last

361
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,600
Speaker 3: summer was moving into our city. She had asked her

362
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Speaker 3: if she if she wanted to show him around.

363
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,280
Speaker 2: She said yes.

364
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 3: We both went and gave him a tour and got dinner.

365
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 3: She was honestly a really nice guy and a smart

366
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 3: and interesting too. I was a bit surprised that she

367
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 3: meant a twenty eight year old professionally randomly on a vacation,

368
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:21,960
Speaker 3: but whatever. Since then, she had been getting lunch or

369
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,000
Speaker 3: drinks or dinner maybe once a week with him when

370
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 3: I'm busy, and then go another day of the week.

371
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 3: Will usually go on a double date with him and

372
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Speaker 3: one of the many women he's involved with.

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Speaker 2: Why does it sound like your girlfriend's dating this guy?

374
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:41,439
Speaker 2: Why does it sound like that?

375
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Speaker 5: You know?

376
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 2: I don't know how my girlfriend met this hot, successful,

377
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:49,159
Speaker 2: twenty eight year old professional on a vacation and is

378
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,200
Speaker 2: now dating him.

379
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 5: I was.

380
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 3: I was totally fine with that and happy to have

381
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 3: more friends. But recently I was hanging out with my

382
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 3: girlfriend and her friend group and one of her friends

383
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 3: made a joke about the guy being very well a nude.

384
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,359
Speaker 2: That word is in down in dude.

385
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 3: I kind of shrugged it off, but I was curious

386
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,000
Speaker 3: and asked later and later asked my girlfriend if she

387
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,600
Speaker 3: had slept with her friend. She laughed and said no,

388
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 3: she actually slept with him when she was on vacation

389
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,880
Speaker 3: after they met on a dating app. I was kind

390
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,800
Speaker 3: of floored that she hadn't told me that that's how

391
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,320
Speaker 3: they met, but she said that I hadn't asked, and

392
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 3: that's why we agreed not to discuss our former conquests.

393
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,719
Speaker 3: She told me that in fact, it was sleeping with

394
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 3: him that had made her decide to settle down. Was

395
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 3: it that bad or was it that good?

396
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Speaker 2: And she's like, that's the best ill ever have. I'll

397
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 2: just settled down.

398
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:52,360
Speaker 3: I'll settle I'm done now. Because he's apparently a very

399
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 3: promiscuous man, she realized that for her, that kind of

400
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 3: promiscuity was cheapening all intimacy. She also told me that

401
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 3: after she realized how promiscuous he was, she was revolted

402
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 3: by him and wanted to be in a committed relationship,

403
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 3: but that she still did like him as a person.

404
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 3: I asked her if they'd ever been in contact at

405
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 3: all before he moved into our city, and she said

406
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 3: that occasionally they liked each other's Instagram stories, but that

407
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 3: they hadn't actually message each other other than that. But

408
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,440
Speaker 3: that's still a body. If you like someone's Instagram.

409
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 2: You might as well buy them a wedding ring. Facts,

410
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 2: what are you doing like people's Instagram stories that you're

411
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 2: not getting married too? That's literally making out with me.

412
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,800
Speaker 3: She could tell that for some reason, finding this out

413
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 3: upset me, and she told me that I could read

414
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 3: their messages if I wanted, and that she would also

415
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 3: stop hanging out with them one on one if it

416
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 3: bothered me. I completely trust her, though, so I said

417
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 3: no to both. Uh, I would say no to hanging

418
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 3: out one on one it once I learned that information,

419
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 3: he agrees with me.

420
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 2: I hope you all interpreted exactly what that meant.

421
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 3: I then asked her if she made any of her

422
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 3: other friends in the same way. She told me she

423
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 3: hooked up with two other people she's friends with now.

424
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 3: One is one of the girls in her friend group,

425
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 3: which I never suspected. Apparently, the other guy told my

426
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,239
Speaker 3: girlfriend that they spicy sleep together, that she would have

427
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 3: spicy sleep with a woman. So when she got back

428
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,919
Speaker 3: from VAK, she did. My girlfriend said that she didn't

429
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 3: like it and it wasn't for her, but the girl

430
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 3: was very cool and they had a lot in common,

431
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 3: so they stay friends. She had a similar story with

432
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 3: one of her male friends. Basically, they met on a

433
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 3: dating app, got some spicy sleep, but realized that they

434
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 3: were not compatible and at all as romantic partners. I

435
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,120
Speaker 3: don't know why finding this out upset me so much.

436
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 3: I trust my girlfriend entirely and no, she would never

437
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 3: cheat me, and she offered to let me look at

438
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 3: her messages with any of the three to never spend

439
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 3: time with them alone again. She also apologized for upsetting

440
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 3: me and said that if she'd known I care, she

441
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 3: would have told me before. I really don't know what

442
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 3: to do, as it's really bothering me, but at the

443
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 3: same time, I really feel like she hasn't done anything wrong.

444
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 3: I realized that I absolutely needed to speak with her

445
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 3: about it. I also realized that there was a lot

446
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 3: more about the situation that bothered me than I had

447
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:37,479
Speaker 3: initially thought, including everyone knowing they had spicy sleep together

448
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 3: except for me. Her friend joked about it in front

449
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 3: of me and my girlfriend being seemingly dedicated to this

450
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 3: man even when he had first arrived to our city,

451
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 3: even though they had literally just spicy sleeped twice. I

452
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,439
Speaker 3: decided to have a chill and open conversation with my

453
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 3: girlfriend and expressed that the situation was bothering me, even

454
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 3: though I knew she hadn't done anything wrong. We started

455
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:09,880
Speaker 3: talking and she basically reiterated everything that she had said before,

456
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 3: and she also said that in the future she would

457
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 3: tell me if we met anyone she's been involved with.

458
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 3: She apologized for upsetting me and said that she would

459
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 3: have told me if she thought it would bother me.

460
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 3: So then I told her that I was honestly hurt.

461
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 3: Her friends all knew and joked about it, even with

462
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 3: me there, and it seemed disrespectful to me. At this

463
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 3: she was much less apologetic and said that she shares

464
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 3: everything with her friends and that she could control what

465
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 3: they said, which wasn't an answer I really liked. She

466
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 3: seemed to be irritated and a little mocking of me

467
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 3: at this point, but I kept going and expressed that

468
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 3: I was also uncomfortable with how she was so eager

469
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 3: to see him when he first arrived, even though he

470
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 3: hadn't been Even though he hadn't been just a two

471
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 3: night stand for her to that she was very honest,

472
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 3: but what she said hurt me a lot. She said

473
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 3: that he had been a special experience for her.

474
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 2: No interpreted, that's my interpretation, as he'd been the kindest

475
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: and most respectful man she'll ever been involved with up

476
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 2: until that point, up until that point, up until that point,

477
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 2: that's somehow even worse. But she settled for op. But

478
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 2: she settled for OP though I don't like any of this,

479
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 2: and she's like, he was a special experience.

480
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 7: It's already like uh.

481
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 2: And then it's like because he was so kind and perfect,

482
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: it's like uh ah.

483
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 3: More so that he was to her such a great

484
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 3: man that he couldn't be in a committed relationship with

485
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 3: any woman he chose, but he refused to do so

486
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 3: for some reason she couldn't understand. Obviously, that one hurt

487
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 3: a lot, though, as I was glad that at least

488
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: it was clear she was being honest. She then said

489
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: that even though she liked him a lot and felt

490
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 3: that they had a special experience together, she loved me

491
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 3: and wanted to be with me, but didn't do much

492
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 3: to salvage the wound. Her comments, as well as the

493
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 3: comments on my original post had made me a bit

494
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 3: paranoid about her cheating, though I was pretty sure she

495
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: wouldn't do that, so I asked her to read their messages,

496
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 3: which she provided me without hesitation. Everyone recently was everything

497
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 3: was completely kosher. They would just send each other the

498
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 3: occasional Instagram real or post with some place they wanted

499
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 3: to go, and then they'd make plans on when. They

500
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 3: also talked about books and philosophy a lot. I'm not

501
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 3: very into either though, and these were long and intense conversations.

502
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 3: But but in fairness, none of it was dissimilar from

503
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 3: when my girlfriend has shown me messages with her other

504
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 3: friends who have always been platonic. There was nothing that

505
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 3: even suggested physical cheating. So then I kept reading because

506
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: I wanted to see what he'd said to her when

507
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,360
Speaker 3: he arrived in our city. I decided to go all

508
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 3: the way back to when they first met, ough, which

509
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: my girlfriend said I was free to do, even though

510
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 3: it was before we were dating.

511
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 2: Did you really break your hand? And then she's like,

512
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: yeah I did, And then you go, all right, well,

513
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to the garage with a hammer and

514
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 2: see what that's like. Yeah, yeah, I just know it's okay,

515
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 2: you could just know.

516
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 3: Initially it wasn't much, just them having a short convo

517
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 3: and making plans to go out, and then making plans

518
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: again to hook up, then nothing after her vacation ended

519
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 3: until about three months later, after she'd come back from

520
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 3: vacation and started getting with other guys, she sent him

521
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 3: a long and heartfelt message that I felt sick reading

522
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 3: as soon as I started it, but which she told

523
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 3: me to finish. Basically, she implied that she she've been

524
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 3: essayed recently, she'd used the words questionably consensual, and she

525
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: was writing to thank him for their experience together and

526
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 3: the respect he'd shown her. She said that she'd never

527
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 3: been with a man who clearly liked and respected her

528
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 3: as much as he did, and she thanked him for

529
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 3: not only tak take oh, and she thanked him not

530
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 3: taking advantage of her when she was in a vulnerable position,

531
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 3: but also showing much care for her that everything they

532
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 3: did was beyond consensual. She said she'd never had a

533
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 3: spicy sleep experience like him, but hoped she would again,

534
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 3: and then she ended it with a joke about how

535
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 3: he was incredible in bed. Okay, so she thanked him

536
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: for being a gentleman and not only seeing her for

537
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 3: spicy sleep, and then said, you're really great at spicy sleep.

538
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 3: To that, he replied with an equally heartfelt message about

539
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 3: how she and every woman deserved to be treated well,

540
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 3: and then he said that he fell from just meeting

541
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 3: her twice, that she was a special woman, and he

542
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 3: hoped that they would meet again. After that, they kept

543
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 3: in loose contact, but just swiping up on the occasional

544
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: Instagram story with a comment or question, and never anything

545
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 3: further than that. When we started dating and she posted

546
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 3: a picture with me, he swiped up and asked if

547
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 3: we were dating. She said yes. He said something along

548
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: the lines of me being cute and that he hoped

549
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 3: she was happy. They basically didn't speak until he moved

550
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 3: into our city and messenger. He made it clear in

551
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 3: his message that he knew she had a boyfriend and

552
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 3: that he understand if I wasn't comfortable with him meeting up,

553
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: but that he did like her in a platonic way,

554
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 3: as well as if she was interested in showing him around.

555
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 3: This really upset me, as I realized that even he

556
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 3: thought I should have been informed and he wouldn't have

557
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 3: hung out with her if I'd said no, But she

558
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 3: didn't even give me the opportunity to decide or express

559
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 3: my feelings on the issue. I asked her why she

560
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 3: didn't tell me, even though it was clear she should have,

561
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 3: and she basically broke it down and admitted that she

562
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 3: really liked him and wanted to see him even as

563
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 3: a friend, and that she thought I probably would have

564
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 3: been uncomfortable with it, even though she would have never cheated.

565
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 5: WHOA.

566
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 3: So she still had feelings for.

567
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 2: The guy, but platonically, well, she still liked him. Platonically,

568
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 2: We don't know that ice, which is what anyone would say,

569
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 2: isn't that right? This is the man that let her realize,

570
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 2: oh my god, there's good men out like. Men aren't

571
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 2: trash like this man took such good care of me

572
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: and was so great, Maybe I can find my true love. Yeah,

573
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: and then she just like found op and now she's like, ooh,

574
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 2: but that guy back in town, Oh my god, what

575
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 2: if he's the one?

576
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 3: She said, that's why she brought me on the tour,

577
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 3: so that we would all know that she would never

578
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 3: be involved with him physically while we were together. This

579
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 3: really broke me, as it seemed clear that between me

580
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 3: and him, she would always choose him, even without the

581
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: physical aspect. It seemed like she greatly preferred him to

582
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 3: me as a person, and I know from her messages

583
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 3: and her friends jokes that the physical aspect was better

584
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 3: with him too. But you know what's also better with

585
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 3: us is that we keep reading stories every day of

586
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: the week on our podcast. So you can join us

587
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,959
Speaker 3: on Spotify and Apple or what other podcast platforms j're

588
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 3: on to get more stories like this.

589
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 2: Join us, Sarah. All you gotta do is look up

590
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: Okay story time.

591
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 6: That's that's the can of worms he opened up you.

592
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 6: I was like, this guy, this guy's in a whole

593
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 6: world to hurt right now if he's gonna do this,

594
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 6: and I don't, what do you expect, Like just her

595
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 6: talking about him like, oh, I can't wait for my

596
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 6: future like boyfriend and that's gonna be so mid.

597
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 3: I asked her why she wouldn't just be with him then,

598
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 3: and she said that he wasn't looking to settle down

599
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 3: and she was, so there would have wouldn't have been

600
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 3: any point in breaking up with me, who did she

601
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 3: like and had a good relationship, just for a chance

602
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: with me. She said that being friends with him was

603
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 3: enough for her. I then asked her pretty much point blank,

604
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 3: what she felt for him, and she admitted that she

605
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 3: was in love with him now break up, break up,

606
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: break up, break up, break up, and she had grown

607
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: more fond of him since he'd come into our city

608
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 3: and they'd had gotten to know each other more.

609
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, I guarantee you she started feeling butterflies when this

610
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 6: guy texted her like I'm gonna.

611
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 2: Be in town.

612
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: I think she'd realize at this point that we're going

613
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 3: to break up and so that she might as well

614
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: be completely honest, and that's the end. They broke up.

615
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 3: They had him broken up.

616
00:30:54,600 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 2: Oh well, cow god, wow, og host.

617
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

618
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

619
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I planned to get married, but he

620
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: still hasn't proposed.

621
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 3: It's kind of hard to get married when someone doesn't propos.

622
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: I twenty three female have been dating my boyfriend twenty

623
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: five male for almost six years. This one's kind of

624
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: a doozy, so I apologize. My boyfriend and I started

625
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,719
Speaker 2: dating my freshman year of college in twenty seventeen. By

626
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 2: the way. This comes from user throwaway Speechy on the

627
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subrend it. Everything was going really

628
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: well and everything just fell into place. It just felt

629
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: right until the pandemic hit in twenty twenty and we

630
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 2: all got sent home to finish college virtually during my

631
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 2: senior year. We have been in a long distance relationship

632
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,719
Speaker 2: since because I then began attending graduate school for speech

633
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 2: therapy to save money. I lived with my parents and

634
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 2: he lived with his who lived three hours away from me.

635
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 2: When the long distance began, my only ask of him

636
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 2: was that we be married when I graduate in August

637
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: twenty twenty three. In our families, it is super important

638
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 2: that we are married before living together. You already know

639
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 2: purity culture crap. He saw this as reasonable and claimed

640
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 2: it was something he really wanted. Then we could get

641
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 2: married and get a place together once I'm done with school.

642
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 2: Here is the dilemma. He still hasn't proposed yet. Like

643
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: we had agreed, he expressed that he was planning on

644
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 2: talking to my parents to get their blessing. Before planning

645
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 2: the proposal. He initiated a conversation with my parents about

646
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 2: next steps. In November twenty twenty two, and hasn't said

647
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: anything up until last week. He's been at my house

648
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 2: three times and never sought after opportunities to say something.

649
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 2: He's putting it off, and there's only one reason why

650
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 2: he would. It would be one thing if he had

651
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 2: expressed that he wasn't ready for marriage, whether that be

652
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 2: not being emotionally ready or financially ready. But he's been

653
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 2: talking a lot about engagement for the last two years,

654
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: getting my hopes up, and then nothing happens. One important

655
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 2: thing to note is that he is an only child

656
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 2: with a mom who has a meltdown when the idea

657
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 2: of marriage or moving out is even mentioned.

658
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 3: Oh okay, all right, there there's the problem.

659
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 2: My boyfriend propose and it's like mom, his mom, Mom,

660
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 2: his mom, and also his mom.

661
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 3: Oh you forgot his mom is insane?

662
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: Oh but his mom is. That's also the bonus space

663
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,239
Speaker 2: in the bingo card is his mom. She has been

664
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: an issue throughout our entire relationship because she is constantly

665
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 2: trying to create division between us, whether that is talking

666
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: crap about him to me or vice versa. Yeah, Dawn down,

667
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 2: talking your own son, being like, you don't want to

668
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: date this guy. He sucks. He's worse, trust me, I

669
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: raised him. It's terrible. Look at him.

670
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 3: He won't even move out of his parents' house.

671
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 2: He has now begun expressing fears of leaving his parents

672
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: when he's the only one there to take care of them.

673
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 3: Eighty how old are they?

674
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 2: He's afraid of what they'll think of him if he

675
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 2: leaves for a career opportunity, or for me, who was

676
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 2: seeking career opportunities in speech therapy in various locations. So really,

677
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna pause really quick and say that if

678
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 2: your parents want to make you feel guilty for like

679
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 2: bettering your life or pursuing a career, or like doing

680
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 2: leaving the nest, it's like, you don't have to listen

681
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 2: to that.

682
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 3: You don't. Yeah, that is crazy.

683
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 2: You listen to your heart. If your heart is in

684
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,879
Speaker 2: the right place, you listen to that. Onto his conversations

685
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 2: with my parents, which is the biggest concern I'm having.

686
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: First he told my parents he was planning on proposing

687
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 2: this summer. He then expressed that he was afraid of

688
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 2: commitment and sacrifice. My dad asked him what he meant,

689
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 2: to which he responded, well, I like my knee time

690
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 2: and my space to play video games and watch sporting events,

691
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 2: which my parents give me. I'm scared to give that

692
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 2: up for a wife or to help with kids. It

693
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 2: sounds like he's not ready for a relationship, so after

694
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,959
Speaker 2: hearing that, this kind of broke me because he would

695
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 2: have never said anything like this before moving back home

696
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 2: with his parents. He's extremely comfortable with his life and

697
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 2: doesn't want to change it.

698
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's also another red flag.

699
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 2: But I want to change mine. I want to move

700
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: out and get an amazing speech therapy career opportunity when

701
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 2: August rolls around. I want to get married and have kids.

702
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 2: This was something I'd wanted to do with him, but

703
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 2: with his unsupportive parents and some of the concerns he's

704
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 2: expressing to everyone but me, I'm really scared to proceed

705
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: with him and include him in things such as apartment

706
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 2: or job hunting. Things haven't been the same as they

707
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 2: were before we started long distance for a long time.

708
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 2: I've been trying to remain optimistic through all of this

709
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 2: in case things do go back to the way they

710
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 2: were once we got a place together, but that optimism

711
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 2: is fading. I thought I could have the best of

712
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: both worlds. The career and the guy, but I'm stuck

713
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 2: at across roads instead and am incredibly stressed and heartbroken.

714
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 2: This is supposed to be an exciting time, but it's

715
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 2: just dreadful because of all of this. And he thoughts,

716
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 2: please be brutally honest, especially if I could have proceeded

717
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 2: differently with this.

718
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 3: All right, we'll be as brutally honest as we can do.

719
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 3: We do that at first, or get brutally honest right now.

720
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,919
Speaker 3: We'll get brutally honest. Dump him. He is a very

721
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 3: comfortable I'm gonna stay as he wants. PLS.

722
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 2: I think you clearly need to meet face to face

723
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 2: with this guy and try to have a conversation and

724
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 2: be like, so, what made you feel like you couldn't

725
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,919
Speaker 2: come to me with this stuff? It is clearly you didn't,

726
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: she said. Everybody seems to know about this except me,

727
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 2: So why didn't you talk to me about it? By

728
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 2: have you never brought it up? The main issue isn't

729
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: that he hasn't proposed if he had concerns about a

730
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 2: marriage or wasn't ready. He needs to tell me that

731
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 2: he either hasn't told me or whenever I've asked he

732
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 2: brushes it off and says he wants to marry me anyway.

733
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: My main issue is his consistency. He says one thing

734
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: but doesn't demonstrate it through actions. I've had conversations with

735
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 2: him about this, and he just says he'll try to

736
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: do better as far as the video games and sports go.

737
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 2: I really try not to be nitpicky or controlling about

738
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 2: what he does in his spare time or how much

739
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 2: of it he does. I've been gas lit and heard

740
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 2: in previous relationships for being too controlling, so I try

741
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: to be extra conscientious of that. I'm supportive of him

742
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 2: hanging out with the boys and tried to get to

743
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 2: know them as well. Although these things aren't my go tos.

744
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 2: I try to watch sporting events with him and play

745
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 2: video games with him to try to understand the hype.

746
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 2: And by the way, you can understand this hype that

747
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: there are a bunch of stories, nearly limitless well of

748
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 2: stories just like this one that you can listen to.

749
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 2: All you have to do is search Okay story Time

750
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 2: on any of your preferred podcast platforms, whether it's Spotify

751
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 2: or Apple Music or even YouTube like you can find

752
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 2: us pretty much anywhere. All you gotta do is search Okay, storytime, Yep,

753
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 2: that's it. Holy crap, y'all. It took me four months,

754
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 2: but I did it. I ended it. Wow, it took

755
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:54,759
Speaker 2: you four months? Whoa, that's crazy. Hey, better late than never.

756
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 2: Over the last four months, all of our relationship has

757
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 2: been just talks of either marriage or engagement or taking

758
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,879
Speaker 2: me out on the town, when he never actually does

759
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: the things he says he'll do. Lots of gas lighting, manipulation,

760
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 2: the works. Whenever I wanted to have a conversation about

761
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 2: serious stuff like where to live, finances, kids, et cetera,

762
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: he brushed it off like it was nothing. This was

763
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 2: how I knew he was not planning for the future.

764
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 2: Apparently his parents know more about his financial situation than

765
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,800
Speaker 2: I do, which don't even get me started. I approached

766
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 2: them about it and they showed me how many.

767
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 3: Loans he has and guess what, if you get married,

768
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 3: half of those loans are also yours.

769
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 2: No way, I didn't know that.

770
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 3: Nope.

771
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 2: Ooh, oh my god. And Op says they are astronomical.

772
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 7: And he hadn't paid a dime since he graduated from

773
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 7: college four years ago.

774
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 2: Wow, all while having zero expenses nothing. This made me

775
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 2: upset because not only did I have expenses, but I

776
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 2: was working insane to pay for school and for my expenses,

777
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 2: and he didn't make any attempts to have a stable,

778
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 2: consistent job over the summer. At that point, I was done. Wow,

779
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 2: I think we're all done. It took a lot of

780
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 2: courage to leave, especially considering the problems with his mom.

781
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 2: I thought she'd bite my head off for dumping her baby.

782
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 7: LMAO.

783
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 2: Well it's a good things. She's not a praying mantis.

784
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 2: She can't eat you. But I finally did it this

785
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 2: past weekend. Dang, did I dodge a bullet?

786
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 3: Agreed?

787
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 2: The whole conversation was very gaslightly and manipulative. I felt

788
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 2: like I was witnessing a toddler throwing a tantrum. He

789
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,760
Speaker 2: was crying, pacing, throwing stuff I bought him, et cetera.

790
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 2: He accused me of cheating when I told him the

791
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 2: long distance was affecting my feelings for him. Whoa, which

792
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 2: means he probably cheated. He tried to bribe me with

793
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 2: stuff to stay with him, like a Nintendo swig ha

794
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 2: bro bro. He can manipulate me. He guilted me for

795
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 2: all the dates he took me on over the summer

796
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 2: and in college years ago. Keep in mind I was

797
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 2: paying for undergrad and graduate school out of pocket and

798
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 2: had no money. He accused me of never wanting him

799
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 2: to be happy. The worst part when I told his

800
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 2: mom we broke up, it was essentially a don't let

801
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: the door hit you on the way out kind of conversation.

802
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 2: I don't know why that's bad, that's good. The mom's

803
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 2: just like whatever, by.

804
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 3: Uh, mom, you raised the failure.

805
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 2: All of these are technically good signs. Yeah, this is

806
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,720
Speaker 2: a good sign where that you made the best decision.

807
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: She basically said, sorry, y'all broke up. Have a good life, Cyanara, Sammy.

808
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 2: And to be honest, I was hoping she'd yell at

809
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,720
Speaker 2: me or bite my head off. Why were you hoping?

810
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: Just so I could see her stick up for him

811
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 2: a little bit, just to show me she truly cares

812
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 2: about his well being and not just her own for

813
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 2: whenever he decides to leave her. I'm sad and extremely

814
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 2: anxious because I left something that was comfortable and don't

815
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 2: know what the future brings. I hated hurting him, but

816
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,919
Speaker 2: he has inflicted a lot of pain and doubts into

817
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 2: my mind and he hurt himself.

818
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 3: Ooh by boom.

819
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,919
Speaker 2: I never changing had these conversations over and over again.

820
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,839
Speaker 2: He's like, I'll try to do better. He never tried.

821
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 2: A lot of you said in the comments that I'm

822
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 2: young and it'll be okay, and you're right, but being

823
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 2: a girl in your twenties is so hard, especially with

824
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 2: finding and maintaining friendships and relationships. It'll be fine, though.

825
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 2: Thank you for the advice and support, and thank you

826
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 2: for taking the time to read all of my word vomit.

827
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 2: The reddit community is truly amazing, and that is the

828
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 2: end of that story. Very nice.

829
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 6: I kind of called it though, like he was gonna

830
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 6: just bit Oh, you didn't talk about it.

831
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 2: It's just pointing the finger.

832
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 8: My mother in law is a nightmare. But then my

833
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 8: husband started being the same. No, my ex husband seemed

834
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:44,280
Speaker 8: perfect until until he became your ax, until we got married,

835
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 8: and then he changed when the ring went on my finger,

836
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 8: and I noticed all the red flags as soon.

837
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 9: As I was out of the relationship.

838
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from a Pink Haired Girl

839
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 8: ninety three and the rok Storytime subreddit. So when we

840
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 8: were together, he was acting like he couldn't do enough

841
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 8: for me, my fan family, and our friends. But then

842
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 8: he would moan about it and everyone when we were

843
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 8: home alone, I had a million and one problems with

844
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 8: his mom. With his mom at the time we were together,

845
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 8: I was on antidepressants and she offered to pick up

846
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 8: my prescription as she worked at the pharmacy that I

847
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,919
Speaker 8: got them from. She didn't know what the prescription was for,

848
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,240
Speaker 8: and when we got back to their house, the bag

849
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 8: was on his bed and the sticker was open. That

850
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 8: is such an invasion of privacy. Yeah, so so inappropriate.

851
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 8: I thought nothing of this at first, as I thought

852
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 8: the paper bag might have just ripped in her bag,

853
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 8: But when my ex was in the kitchen, she asked

854
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 8: him if he knew I was taking a high dose antidepressant.

855
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 2: WHOA does she do this?

856
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 6: No?

857
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,919
Speaker 9: Shame like in front of op.

858
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, she was like, oh, I went through your bag

859
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 7: and I noticed you have a prescription.

860
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 2: Very high dose. Does your husband know?

861
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 8: For context, I was seventeen years old when I was

862
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 8: diagnosed with anxiety and depression on Christmas Eve, and was

863
00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 8: twenty or twenty one when this happened.

864
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 7: She's pretty yah, so she's yeah.

865
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 9: This mother is violating Sarah Riley says, isn't this illegal?

866
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 9: That is illegal?

867
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 2: It sounds illegal, that is illegal.

868
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,760
Speaker 8: I had been dating her son since I was nineteen.

869
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 8: He was twenty seven, little bit of an in.

870
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 7: Yeah, it makes sense why these people are controlling.

871
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 8: Yeah, I should have noticed a red flag of being

872
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 8: twenty seven and living at home with his mom and dad.

873
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 2: I was livid. Everyone has different scenarios situations.

874
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 7: This is true.

875
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 8: I was livid when I found out she had check

876
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 8: what my prescription was for and then spoken to him

877
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 8: about it. I don't know what he said about it,

878
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 8: as I wasn't there. Okay, so it wasn't like in

879
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 8: front of op so, but it's behind her back. There

880
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 8: were a few incidents where we would go out and

881
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 8: she would go through my bag in his room, use

882
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,240
Speaker 8: my Eggzma cream that costs a lot of money.

883
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 9: So she's just like in all her things. This is

884
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 9: a pattern.

885
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: I got eggszma.

886
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 9: Yeah, I got red hands since I was a child.

887
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 7: I make some of my feet sometimes.

888
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 8: We came home once and her sitting on the sofa

889
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 8: looking extremely shiny. He asked her why she was so shiny?

890
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 8: Why are you so shiny?

891
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 7: Mom?

892
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: Why are you glowing, and she said, I borrow something

893
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 2: for Queen. Queen Queen.

894
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 8: I said that I wish she had asked, as it's

895
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 8: really expensive. She said, well, we are family now, I

896
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 8: don't need to ask.

897
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,839
Speaker 2: She said, well we are family now, I don't need

898
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 2: to ask.

899
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 8: When we went upstairs and found that the brand new,

900
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 8: unopened tub was now half empty.

901
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 7: She like slather herself.

902
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 2: You know, like the peanut butter.

903
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,800
Speaker 8: I was really angry, as I worked for minimum wage

904
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 8: and don't have money to just throw away. Cream could

905
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 8: be expensive, especially like prescription cream.

906
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 7: Kimberly says, that's slippery be. Wait what Kimberly find says

907
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 7: that's slippery be?

908
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 8: And I was really angry as a work minimum work

909
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 8: for minimum wag and don't have money to throw away.

910
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,479
Speaker 9: He told me to calm down and he would sort

911
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 9: it out.

912
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 8: I thought this meant he would talk to her and

913
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 8: one of them would buy me a new one.

914
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 9: No, that would make sense. That never happened.

915
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 8: The next week, we went into and came back to

916
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 8: his to find that his room had a strange burnt smell.

917
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 7: She staged in the room.

918
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 8: I looked round to find that my bag had been

919
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 8: emptied out and my GHD hair strangeners had been used.

920
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 8: Oh no, they'd been used on wet hair or hair

921
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 8: with lots of product in which had broken them.

922
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 9: No, so she's a creamy girl. Sorry for that sentence.

923
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 8: When I tried to use them after cleaning them, they

924
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 8: smelt like fire and started to smoke.

925
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 7: She just strikes everything she touches.

926
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

927
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 8: I asked her if she had used them, as they

928
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 8: weren't in the bag I left them, and she said no.

929
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 7: No, and her hair is like.

930
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,280
Speaker 9: Broken, like her hair is on fire.

931
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 8: No, she's super sha and said I was pair annoid

932
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 8: when we got engaged.

933
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: She said, you can call me mom now.

934
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 8: I stated that I'm not comfortable to call someone else

935
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 8: mom because I'm very close with my mom and it

936
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 8: would just be weird for me, to which she got

937
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 8: upset and started saying to her husband how ungrateful and

938
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 8: rude I was.

939
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,240
Speaker 9: She put her mom in the care.

940
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 8: Home I was working in when she had cancer and

941
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 8: can no longer look after herself. During this time, she

942
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 8: told everyone I wasn't looking after her properly, that she

943
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 8: was getting worse and not better.

944
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 9: At the funeral, she.

945
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 8: Said to people she passed away because of the care

946
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 8: I provided. At the funeral, she said to people, she

947
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,720
Speaker 8: passed away because of the care I provided, I can't

948
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 8: cure cancer.

949
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 7: Shame on you, Ope, shame.

950
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 9: A few years down the line, I was working in

951
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 9: a different care home that she made sure her husband's

952
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 9: mum became a resident at. She had dementia when she

953
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 9: passed away, and my ex had already separated, and she

954
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 9: told everyone.

955
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 2: I had unlived her.

956
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 8: Ah, So she's just doing all these types of blame

957
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 8: and she's stealing her stuff. Yeah, she's making demands like

958
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 8: call me mom getting upset, which is I wanted to

959
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 8: and then she's blaming her for not curing cancer, not

960
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 8: curing and causing the unliveness of multiple of her family moments.

961
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,399
Speaker 7: So he's a cereal un alive ry at this point.

962
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 9: Yeah, she should go to jail, to jail for all

963
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 9: of this.

964
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 8: During the planning of our wedding, his mom kept trying

965
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 8: to get us to invite her friends, saying that we

966
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 8: would pay for them to go. We had to keep

967
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 8: saying that people were not invited and we would not

968
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 8: be paying for people to come to our wedding. She

969
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,720
Speaker 8: also wanted to come dress shopping with me and my mom,

970
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 8: my mom, but I love this word so much. My

971
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 8: mom and I refused, and she became upset and pointing

972
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 8: out that I couldn't wear certain types of dresses because

973
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,240
Speaker 8: I was too fat.

974
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 7: I hate this person. Maybe your mouth should be more closed,

975
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 7: you tell them, Maybe your big mouth should be closed.

976
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 9: Yeah, hit it more?

977
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 2: What more?

978
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 7: Maybe?

979
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

980
00:47:58,320 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 3: All right?

981
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 8: I was a size six or eight UK sizes. She

982
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 8: then insisted on wearing the same color as my bridesmaids.

983
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 7: This woman is like, what if I wore the same

984
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 7: color as your bridesmaid? If I wore a white white dress,

985
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 7: and if you're not son, I'm mad at you.

986
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 8: She then insisted on wearing the same color as my bridesmaids.

987
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 8: This was my NaN's favorite color. I love these words.

988
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 8: This was my NaN's favorite color, and she had passed

989
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 8: away a couple of years before. I was very close

990
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 8: with her and was heartbroken. She finally agreed not to

991
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 8: wear that color when my mom told her she wanted

992
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 8: to wear that color, and then she had to buy

993
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 8: new bridesmaid dresses and a new dress for my flower girl.

994
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 9: She was not happy about this.

995
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 8: Nice someone finally standing up also, I'm curious this whole

996
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 8: time that like, all these inappropriates are happening, what's her

997
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:44,399
Speaker 8: husband doing?

998
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 9: And also what is op doing?

999
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 8: Like are these are they communicating their dissatisfaction?

1000
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 9: Are they putting boundaries down?

1001
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 7: I think it's pretty hard though, as like a young

1002
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 7: twenty something too, it's a good point know how to

1003
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 7: do that because you haven't quite learned how to do

1004
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 7: it for sure.

1005
00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 8: I'm just curious if any conversations were happening or if

1006
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 8: like she's just getting away with all this behavior. Yeah,

1007
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 8: when we got married, we decided to get married in

1008
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 8: another country on the same beach she had proposed to

1009
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 8: me on cute During the time she was there for

1010
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 8: the wedding, and she was increasingly insufferable. She would put

1011
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 8: things on my parents' bills and bars and restaurants. The

1012
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 8: worst was at the hen party, which I hope she

1013
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 8: couldn't come to. I hope she would go to the

1014
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 8: stag party with her son. So she was upset because

1015
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 8: she didn't have a mother of the groom sash. We

1016
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 8: didn't get her one because of all the things she

1017
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 8: had done and we were petty like that. The main

1018
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 8: reason we didn't was she wouldn't stop calling my nan,

1019
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 8: My grandma.

1020
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 9: Seems silly.

1021
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 5: I know.

1022
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 9: My nan hated being called a grandma as it was

1023
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 9: too posh and old sounding.

1024
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,359
Speaker 8: She only became a granny when my cousin had her

1025
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 8: first child, and great Nan would be too hard for

1026
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 8: the child to say. And all the stuff surrounding the

1027
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 8: dress color. She knew what the color meant to me,

1028
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,720
Speaker 8: as we said a million times to her, and she stated,

1029
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 8: it's a nice color that will look good on me.

1030
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 8: She's like, I don't care. They're like, we're mad, and

1031
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 8: she was like, I couldn't care less. At the hen

1032
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 8: party after the sash drama, she kept telling me to

1033
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 8: watch what I'm eating. Is dress won't fit more weight

1034
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 8: comments and with probably already a struggle to get me

1035
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 8: into it.

1036
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 9: Oh my god, keep your mouth rude.

1037
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 8: Caitlyn still loves me cream cream cream my mom, cousin

1038
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 8: and and and and second mom my mom's best friend

1039
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 8: from since I was eighteen months old. I'd finally had

1040
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 8: enough of this, started topping up her drinks. I hope

1041
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 8: she would be too hungover for the wedding the next day.

1042
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 7: Trying to just like, you go keep it coming.

1043
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 2: But what if she just work? She gets more on

1044
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 2: super DRUMA. That's what we want. You're playing a dangerous

1045
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 2: game here.

1046
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 7: It to balance.

1047
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 2: Finally have enough okay.

1048
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 8: Two people who shall remain nameless also tripped her up

1049
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 8: on the way home from talking too much bs about me. Unfortunately,

1050
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,839
Speaker 8: she was fine the next day, like physically tripped her.

1051
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 7: It seems so it seems like they're they're trying to

1052
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 7: get her super blackout drunk, and then they're also like

1053
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 7: trying to like take her out.

1054
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 8: Unfortunately, she was fine the next day. Unfortunately, dang it. Well,

1055
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 8: everyone was making their way to their seats for the wedding.

1056
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 8: Mother in law walk down the aisle testing it out

1057
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 8: for me apparently, but knocking the flowers out of place

1058
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 8: so that they had to be moved back and.

1059
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 9: Delayed our wedding.

1060
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 8: She then kept trying to be in every single photo

1061
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 8: with the photographer was having no of and refused to

1062
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 8: was having no of and refuse to take the pictures

1063
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 8: till she was out of the way.

1064
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 9: Oh so the photographer was not having it.

1065
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:39,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like.

1066
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 9: No, get out of the way, get out of a

1067
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 9: big shiite.

1068
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 8: After the wedding, when we got back home, she told

1069
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,879
Speaker 8: everyone how fat I was in my dress, shut off,

1070
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 8: and how unfortunate was that I looked the way I did?

1071
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 7: How unfortunate is that you are the way that you

1072
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 7: are because everyone hates you?

1073
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 8: Wild it doesn't stop, it does stop. My exident started

1074
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 8: to chat change, and I became his property. Well, like

1075
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 8: if this is your mom, Yeah, it's kind of hard

1076
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 8: to come out like undamaged. So it makes sense, like

1077
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 8: the previous story of someone like internalized the way their parents.

1078
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 8: I mean that we're human, that's what happens, all right.

1079
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 8: So I wasn't allowed out without him or to talk

1080
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 8: to certain people, so he all this controlling behavior just

1081
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 8: came in. Yeah, then COVID hit and lockdown was enforced.

1082
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 8: It didn't not help us, as I was suddenly stuck

1083
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 8: without even being able to go to my parents' house

1084
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:31,439
Speaker 8: ten minutes down the road.

1085
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, that must have been really hard for like when

1086
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 7: you're already in a relationship that is this controlling and

1087
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 7: stuff and then to not even be able to leave.

1088
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, you're stuck and with this controlling person, which probably

1089
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 8: makes the controlling behavior even worse. Yeah, as I work

1090
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 8: in healthcare, I was only allowed to go to work

1091
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 8: and home, not even to go get to go out shopping.

1092
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 8: I had to keep the residents of the care home safe.

1093
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,320
Speaker 8: I started working more hours as we became short staffed

1094
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,360
Speaker 8: because people were getting COVID. I worked twelve days in

1095
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 8: a row, twelve hour shifts. I was exhausted after this

1096
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 8: and slept for most of the day. Makes sense. My

1097
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 8: ex came home for work and told me how useless

1098
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 8: and lazy I was because I hadn't done the ironing.

1099
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,479
Speaker 8: He then accused me of cheating on him, you haven't

1100
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 8: done the ironing, and also, uh, you're cheating on me.

1101
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 7: I hate him.

1102
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 2: He how I'm not allowed to go anywhere.

1103
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like the word like how.

1104
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 8: She's like, He's like, you're hooking up with your patients.

1105
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 8: Things got worse, and after a year, I moved to

1106
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 8: my parents' house to try and have some space and

1107
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 8: repair our relationship.

1108
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 9: He then called and told me.

1109
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 8: I moved back and quit my job and cut off

1110
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 8: all contact with everyone I know other than my family members.

1111
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 2: So he told O p to do this.

1112
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 7: I think so or that she did do that, I

1113
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 7: don't know.

1114
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 9: I was done. I said it's over. Let's go our

1115
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,439
Speaker 9: separate ways. Thank god.

1116
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,839
Speaker 8: Yeah, when I moved back to my parents. We had

1117
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 8: agreed that i'd take the cat with me. When we

1118
00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 8: finally said it was over. He told everyone that I

1119
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:58,479
Speaker 8: left without saying anything and took the cat.

1120
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 9: Did He's trying to happen.

1121
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 7: He's trying to manipulate people.

1122
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 9: But is that what happened?

1123
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,720
Speaker 7: I think I don't think that she left without saying anything.

1124
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 7: I think they talked about it and he kind of

1125
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 7: told her to go okay.

1126
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 8: Since the breakup, I noticed how he would play mind

1127
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:16,440
Speaker 8: games with me and use my mental health against me.

1128
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 8: And I also found out that there were lunch dates

1129
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 8: with girls he worked with while we were still together

1130
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 8: and getting along.

1131
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 7: But were they were they friend aids? Do we think

1132
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 7: about that?

1133
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 2: Were they friend aids?

1134
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 7: No?

1135
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:27,440
Speaker 2: Friendy?

1136
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 7: So obviously projection. He's like, oh, you're cheating on me,

1137
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 7: as he's cheating.

1138
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 9: On unless they were friend dates.

1139
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 7: Unless they were a friend aids.

1140
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 2: Of course friend.

1141
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 8: Dates are great according to him and his family. I'm

1142
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 8: the ahole for breaking his heart and leaving him for

1143
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 8: someone else. Also, we would never leave you. Because you

1144
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 8: could listen to full episodes of stories like this, just

1145
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 8: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app

1146
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 8: and search. Okay, storytime, there's another relevant update, but let's discuss.

1147
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,319
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean good, good thing to get away from

1148
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,879
Speaker 7: him and his crazy mom, his creamy mom.

1149
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:00,399
Speaker 2: Up.

1150
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:15,799
Speaker 5: No, I'm sorry, get away for me cream be going

1151
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 5: creamy mum.

1152
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 2: I don't think it's good for us, not just yeah.

1153
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 7: No, I think it's good that you're getting away from her.

1154
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 7: I think that you need to find you know, you

1155
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 7: deserve someone who is not going to treat you like

1156
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 7: this and dismiss your feelings and the amount of work

1157
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:34,319
Speaker 7: that you do, especially I mean being healthcare you know

1158
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,760
Speaker 7: worker during the pandemic, a lot.

1159
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 9: Of a lot of work.

1160
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1161
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 8: And it's one thing to like be happy with your

1162
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 8: partner and they have a crazy mom and you're like, okay,

1163
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 8: this sucks.

1164
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,840
Speaker 9: It's you know, un package deal and I love my partner.

1165
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 8: It's another for your partner to be also controlling and

1166
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 8: insulting and similar to his mom.

1167
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 9: I'm very glad they got out me too.

1168
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 8: So I didn't start dating until six months after we

1169
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 8: separate for good. I started dating a guy that was

1170
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 8: there for me throughout the whole separation and me trying

1171
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:08,280
Speaker 8: to reconcile. I tried arranging couples counseling, which I paid

1172
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 8: for and then he refused to do it and I

1173
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 8: lost five hundred pounds as it was cheaper to block book.

1174
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 8: I know dealing with someone with mental health problems isn't easy,

1175
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,759
Speaker 8: but every time I would feel myself slipping into a

1176
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,319
Speaker 8: dark place, I would sort out therapy and go back

1177
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 8: onto medication if I needed to.

1178
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:25,320
Speaker 9: So, am I the ahole?

1179
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 3: Whoa?

1180
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 5: In?

1181
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:28,240
Speaker 2: What? No way?

1182
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 9: Are you the a hole?

1183
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 2: No? Not at all.

1184
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 8: I'm sorry that you've internalized the shaming and insulting from

1185
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 8: your your exes, from your ex and their mom. Yeah,

1186
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 8: but I hope you could reconcile that inside of you

1187
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 8: and realize that you were did great to get out of.

1188
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 9: This relationship and it was only damaging too.

1189
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,720
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1190
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1191
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 7: We ruined my mother in law's Christmas because we didn't

1192
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 7: spend it with her. Sounds like the first.

1193
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,280
Speaker 9: Mother tis tis long story short?

1194
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 7: Am I the A hole? If I stay at home

1195
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 7: at Christmas instead of spending it with my in laws?

1196
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 7: Me twenty nine female and my fiance thirty one male

1197
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 7: bought a small farm about a year ago so I

1198
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 7: could realize my dream of having my own sales and

1199
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 7: training stable for horses.

1200
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 2: That's so cool. Sick. Yeah.

1201
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 7: We spend Christmas one year with my family and the

1202
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 7: next with my fiance's family, and therefore discussed this Christmas

1203
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 7: with my in laws the first week in our new home.

1204
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from ok lettuce forty five

1205
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 7: to twelve on the Okay Storytime separed it. So we

1206
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:35,920
Speaker 7: agreed to host everyone at our place since we had

1207
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 7: the most base, and because we expected to have horses

1208
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 7: on the property by the summer, I couldn't really go

1209
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 7: anywhere anyway. The horses needed to be fed three times

1210
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 7: a day, They needed time outside in the paddocks, the

1211
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 7: stall needed to be clean, et cetera. As we had

1212
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 7: hoped and planned. The first horses arrived in August. Then

1213
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 7: my fiance's grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer for a

1214
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 7: second time oh in October, and my mother in law,

1215
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 7: in a state of panic, booked a vacation home four

1216
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 7: hours away from where we live for a whole week,

1217
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 7: non refundable, without speaking to anyone before doing so. I

1218
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 7: have been looking forward to spending Christmas at home, going

1219
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 7: for a sleigh ride with the kids. I'm go go

1220
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 7: to a sleigh ride, putting out snacks for the elf,

1221
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 7: living in the barn and not having to travel anywhere

1222
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 7: with a screaming two year old who hates car rides.

1223
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 7: After the worst.

1224
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 8: Year of my life, and did people did the family

1225
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 8: they were going? They agreed to come to Opie's farm.

1226
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 8: Um Or, that was just what OPI was thinking.

1227
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 7: Op he was thinking, we agree to host everyoney, yeah,

1228
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 7: at their place. And then we find out that the

1229
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 7: mother in law booked a vacation home four hours away.

1230
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 7: It started in March when my dad was diagnosed with

1231
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 7: esophagal cancer which had spread to both lungs. He refused

1232
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 7: chemotherapy as it would only give him a couple of

1233
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 7: extra weeks and he would be sick from the treatment.

1234
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 7: Then my maternal grandmother passed away in May oh my

1235
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 7: dad passed away in June, oh No, only three weeks

1236
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 7: after my grandmother, and then my paternal grandfather passed away

1237
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 7: in September.

1238
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 9: My wow, this is so sad.

1239
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 7: They all lived in my home country, Norway, and as

1240
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 7: I live in Denmark, this has meant a lot of

1241
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 7: traveling for me and my two year old daughter. I

1242
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,120
Speaker 7: would really like to just stay at home this Christmas,

1243
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 7: and I have the added responsibility of those horses boarded

1244
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 7: at our property. I will not compromise on animal welfare

1245
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 7: because of a holiday. I even told my fiance that

1246
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 7: he could go with our daughter. Even though it broke

1247
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 7: my heart thinking about not being with them, I knew

1248
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 7: how much it means to his family that they're there.

1249
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 7: He however, said that either we all go or none

1250
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 7: of us goes. He did not want me to be

1251
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 7: alone for Christmas. As fate would have it. A child

1252
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:58,640
Speaker 7: in my daughter's daycare got chicken box last week. She

1253
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 7: could have been contagious for a couple of days before

1254
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 7: the symptoms started, so there's a fair chance my daughter

1255
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 7: is getting it too done. Why don't they have the

1256
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 7: chickenpox that I seene Let's go on there, and with

1257
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 7: the ten to fourteen days incubation period, it fits perfectly

1258
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 7: with a Christmas outbreak. I told my mother in law

1259
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 7: about it, hoping she would say we should stay home.

1260
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 7: Thinking about the other kids, and of course my fiance's grandmother,

1261
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 7: who is an active chemotherapy, she actually has to rush

1262
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:30,479
Speaker 7: home on the twenty fifth because she's having treatment that day.

1263
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 7: She lives twenty minutes away from us, so it's a

1264
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 7: ridiculous trip for her as well. I told mother in

1265
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 7: law that if our daughter gets really sick, we are

1266
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 7: not going. She did not like that. Oh, so what

1267
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 7: do we do? Stay at home, ruining possibly the last

1268
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 7: Christmas my fiance's family is having with his grandmother, but

1269
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 7: keeping a clean conscious about the horses and my car

1270
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 7: hating toddler. Or do we feed the horses and put

1271
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 7: them in their stalls way too early and even then

1272
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 7: arrive late for Christmas dinner with a tired and possibly

1273
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 7: sick toddler, opening a few presents and going to bed

1274
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 7: where I won't be able to sleep, knowing there's no

1275
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 7: one at our property in case of an emergency with

1276
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 7: the horses, then we'll have to haul but at the

1277
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 7: crack of dawn to go home again with a screaming toddler,

1278
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 7: still arrive late for the horse's breakfast and eventually just

1279
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 7: crash out from exhaustion on the couch. I have never

1280
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 7: in my life hope my daughter gets sick, but now

1281
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 7: I kind of do. She as to get it eventually, anyway,

1282
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 7: and there is an update.

1283
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 8: I have some questions real quick. Can you get a

1284
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 8: horse sitter? Is that a possibility?

1285
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 7: That's what I was wondering.

1286
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 9: So when you have horses, you because just never leave

1287
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 9: your property.

1288
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm assuming that. I mean usually you have I

1289
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,760
Speaker 7: don't know, I don't know too much about like what

1290
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 7: it goes into having horses, but I assume that usually

1291
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 7: you have multiple hands and stuff that like you would

1292
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:57,040
Speaker 7: want at least if you ever need to, like in

1293
01:01:57,040 --> 01:02:00,280
Speaker 7: an emergency, leave the property or something or go with

1294
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,480
Speaker 7: your you know, And it seems like.

1295
01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 2: You have.

1296
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 7: Of I mean, maybe they don't have that much time,

1297
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,360
Speaker 7: but it seems like you maybe have like a week

1298
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 7: or two advanced notice. But I think the problem is

1299
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 7: it just seems like a lot of effort in general,

1300
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 7: like you have to get a sitter, you have to

1301
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 7: your kids sick, there's driving involved. So it seems like

1302
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 7: that we told my fiance's family that we are staying

1303
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 7: at home. Everyone was understanding, and the grandparents were happy

1304
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 7: we thought about their health. That's good, yeah, accept mother

1305
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 7: in law, that's always her. She made it very clear

1306
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:40,360
Speaker 7: how sad and disappointed it made her that her son

1307
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 7: and granddaughter are staying home with me. She will have

1308
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 7: other grandchildren there. He told her over the phone as

1309
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 7: they already arrived at the vacation home. And I don't

1310
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 7: think she knew she was on speaker when she told

1311
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 7: my fiance that she hoped he wasn't compromising and doing

1312
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 7: something he really didn't want to do. She completely disregarded

1313
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 7: the stuff about her parents and grandparents' health and was

1314
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 7: just annoyed we couldn't just get someone to watch the

1315
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 7: dang horses. And there are some comments, so comment one says,

1316
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 7: please quit trying to please your in laws. You think

1317
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 7: they give one hood about your care and comfort. You

1318
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 7: have a family and home, start your own traditions. Opie says,

1319
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 7: apparently they don't, and they don't understand the whole horse thing.

1320
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 7: My mother in law hates them and can't understand why

1321
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 7: I want to work with them. I tried to start

1322
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,760
Speaker 7: a new tradition where everyone could stay at our place,

1323
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,240
Speaker 7: but that went down the drain because my mother in

1324
01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 7: law single handedly decided we should do something else this year.

1325
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 7: And comment two says, I would tell mother in law sorry,

1326
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 7: but he was organized for the Christmas gathering being held

1327
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:45,720
Speaker 7: at your residence. Her changing things around last minute is

1328
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:49,040
Speaker 7: not your problem. You will be staying at home. If

1329
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 7: Grandma is home after her treatment, you can invite her

1330
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 7: over later. Mother in law is being very disrespectful to

1331
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 7: change plans and then get upset when things don't go

1332
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 7: as she planned. Horses have the amazing ability to do

1333
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 7: dumb things and get hurt. If you're responsible for them,

1334
01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 7: you have to look after them. And Opie replies exactly,

1335
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 7: And on top of that, they have an amazing ability

1336
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 7: to do things like that at the most inconvenient time.

1337
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,320
Speaker 7: Wouldn't surprise me if we got home to one horse

1338
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 7: rolled stuck in its stall, one with colic, and the

1339
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 7: fence for the horses in the loose housing would probably

1340
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 7: be on the ground. In my last post, I wondered

1341
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 7: if I would be the a hole if we stayed

1342
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 7: at home during Christmas. Because of logistical issues with the

1343
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 7: horses in my care, the long drive, and the potential

1344
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 7: of passing on a virus to the great grandmother in

1345
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 7: act of chemotherapy, we stayed at home and ruined my

1346
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 7: mother in law's Christmas. We told her Sunday that we

1347
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 7: would stay at home. She had other She had her

1348
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 7: other son, her daughter and son in law with their

1349
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:52,240
Speaker 7: two young children, her parents, which wholeheartedly supported us staying

1350
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:55,400
Speaker 7: home so we wouldn't pass anything onto them. My father

1351
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 7: in law, sister and her daughter, and some family members

1352
01:04:59,280 --> 01:05:01,640
Speaker 7: from my brother brother in law's side, so she wasn't

1353
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,360
Speaker 7: exactly alone. We call them on FaceTime on Christmas, and

1354
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 7: my mother in law made a point of not having

1355
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 7: the time to speak to us because she needed to

1356
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 7: be there with the grandkids who were actually there. They

1357
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 7: were together for entire week except for a dry text

1358
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 7: message on Christmas saying thanks for the gift. We haven't

1359
01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 7: heard from them since. I usually speak to my mother

1360
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 7: in law every day, sending pictures and videos of our

1361
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:29,600
Speaker 7: daughter every day. Woo, and she's acting like this.

1362
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 9: Yeah.

1363
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:33,240
Speaker 7: She hasn't answered once since we told her we were

1364
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 7: staying home. It kind of feels like she's punishing us

1365
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 7: for not being there, and we kind of feel left

1366
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:42,280
Speaker 7: out of the family for the holiday. We have reached

1367
01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:44,880
Speaker 7: out several times a day, both in the family group

1368
01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 7: chat and to my mother in law alone radio silence.

1369
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 7: They have not done anything to make us feel included.

1370
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 7: We didn't even get a Merry Christmas.

1371
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 2: What the heck, come on, get over it.

1372
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,400
Speaker 7: It's Christmas. Be nice.

1373
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 9: I under stand being upset.

1374
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think it's it's unfair, but I understand. You know,

1375
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:07,720
Speaker 8: it was the possibly the last Christmas you wanted your

1376
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:09,560
Speaker 8: family there. You're upset that they couldn't come.

1377
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:13,720
Speaker 7: But but like the grandparents are fine, Like yes, Like

1378
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 7: why are you to get one of getting upset for them?

1379
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 9: Yeah?

1380
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 8: So I understand being upset, but have a little understanding

1381
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:25,080
Speaker 8: for someone for your family, especially when you change the

1382
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 8: plans last minute.

1383
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:27,880
Speaker 7: It's like, it's not like they don't they just don't

1384
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 7: want to come. There are logistical issues here, and their

1385
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 7: kid make me sick. I might have a disease.

1386
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,480
Speaker 8: Yeah, And it seems like Opie and her husband are

1387
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 8: doing what they can. Their their texting, trying to FaceTime,

1388
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 8: They're reaching out, the mother in law is not responding.

1389
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 8: Maybe the mother in law just needs to cool down

1390
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 8: and it's all going to sort itself out. But it's

1391
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:50,919
Speaker 8: you know, it seems like op and Hehrsment did everything

1392
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:52,080
Speaker 8: they can at this point, I.

1393
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:56,480
Speaker 7: Agreed after the twenty fifth I stopped reaching out. By

1394
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:59,040
Speaker 7: the way, you can reach out to us by listening

1395
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:01,840
Speaker 7: to full episodes, stories like this. Just go to Spotify,

1396
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:05,919
Speaker 7: Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and search up. Okay,

1397
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 7: story time. My fiance also got a severe tooth infection.

1398
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:12,080
Speaker 8: Oh my god, it's hit after her guys are cursed? Yeah,

1399
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 8: series of unfortunate events truly.

1400
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:17,720
Speaker 7: Which needed a visit to the dentist Sunday, a call

1401
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 7: to the er on Christmas Eve, and another visit to

1402
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 7: the dentist on the twenty sixth. What cursed object did

1403
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 7: you pick up from a temple?

1404
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 2: They caught the evil eye literally check.

1405
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:34,880
Speaker 7: And our daughter is now sick with a mildcase. We

1406
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:36,919
Speaker 7: had a really nice Christmas at home and are now

1407
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:39,400
Speaker 7: really happy we didn't go great, but still a little

1408
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:41,560
Speaker 7: hurt because of mother in law's reaction. Sure, I have

1409
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 7: loved her for almost ten years and been closer to

1410
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:46,880
Speaker 7: her than with my own mother, And there are some

1411
01:07:46,960 --> 01:07:49,959
Speaker 7: were loving comments to finish us off. Common one says

1412
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 7: she's using the silent treatment to make you beg for

1413
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 7: her attention. Ignore it when she decides to pretend it

1414
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,320
Speaker 7: didn't happen. You can decide if you want a relationship

1415
01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 7: with her. Opie says, I haven't texted her today or yesterday.

1416
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 7: My fiance tried today but got no answer as well.

1417
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,240
Speaker 7: I have loved the woman for almost ten years and

1418
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 7: been closer to her than with my own mother. To

1419
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 7: the stings a bit. Comment two says, stop chasing her.

1420
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 7: Be glad you found out who she was before your

1421
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:17,519
Speaker 7: daughter got really attached.

1422
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 2: Okay, child, Okay, we don't know that.

1423
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:24,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, she's she's pissy. She'll be fine, Like, you don't

1424
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:27,559
Speaker 7: have to necessarily be like she's my favorite person, but

1425
01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 7: you'll probably. I feel like everyone will get over it.

1426
01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:35,040
Speaker 8: What I continuously am frustrated with with comments on Reddit

1427
01:08:35,439 --> 01:08:38,520
Speaker 8: is there's no room for any roughs.

1428
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:41,960
Speaker 9: In relationships, terrible relationships.

1429
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:47,120
Speaker 8: I think secure, strong relationships allow space for ruptures and

1430
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 8: repair that. I mean, she said she was closer than

1431
01:08:49,360 --> 01:08:53,719
Speaker 8: her own relationships, and so there's a rupture. It happens

1432
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:56,280
Speaker 8: in relationships. She's gonna calm down. You guys are probably

1433
01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:58,640
Speaker 8: gonna take it, you know, talk it out. You've you

1434
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,040
Speaker 8: had a great relationship for ten years. This is not

1435
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,760
Speaker 8: to jump ahead and be like the relationship is over.

1436
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:04,240
Speaker 6: No.

1437
01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 7: I think this is her being a little baby and

1438
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:08,920
Speaker 7: she's got to get over it.

1439
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just wait it out.

1440
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:12,720
Speaker 8: I agree, you don't need to keep texting her. She's

1441
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,479
Speaker 8: give her a space and you guys can come back

1442
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:18,720
Speaker 8: and you could have a conversation about it.

1443
01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:19,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1444
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:23,440
Speaker 8: My in law's ignored me when I fell down the stairs,

1445
01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:25,960
Speaker 8: so I no longer want their help with my baby.

1446
01:09:26,439 --> 01:09:26,639
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1447
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 7: If they can't take care of you, they can't take

1448
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:28,639
Speaker 7: every baby.

1449
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:29,520
Speaker 2: That's true.

1450
01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:32,799
Speaker 8: I twenty one year old female who have a seventh

1451
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 8: month son with my boyfriend.

1452
01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:36,160
Speaker 2: Young parent.

1453
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:39,439
Speaker 8: Yeah, my family lives abroad and are coming over to

1454
01:09:39,439 --> 01:09:40,720
Speaker 8: stay and help at Christmas time.

1455
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:43,200
Speaker 9: For now, my mother in law and family, my end

1456
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:44,720
Speaker 9: father in.

1457
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:48,600
Speaker 8: Law sixties, Deborah and Bob are helping me with household

1458
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:51,200
Speaker 8: stuff and the baby. So far, we haven't had any

1459
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:53,679
Speaker 8: real issues and they've been a massive help.

1460
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:55,479
Speaker 9: There's about to be an.

1461
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:56,559
Speaker 7: Issue, Yeah, I think so.

1462
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 2: By the way, this.

1463
01:09:57,360 --> 01:10:00,400
Speaker 9: Comes from you throw away Flora Fauna on the r

1464
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:02,280
Speaker 9: okay story Time stub read it.

1465
01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 8: So, about three weeks ago, I fell down the stairs. No,

1466
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:10,040
Speaker 8: I wasn't holding the baby. That's good, and the baby

1467
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:13,719
Speaker 8: was safe. However, instead of helping me, Deborah and Bob

1468
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,519
Speaker 8: both jumped to comfort the baby he was crying and

1469
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,000
Speaker 8: left me at the bottom of the stairs.

1470
01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:23,040
Speaker 7: Why, oh, he's like and they're like.

1471
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:25,400
Speaker 2: Disturbs.

1472
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:28,680
Speaker 8: My legs were fine, but I was wobbly because of

1473
01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 8: shock and asked one of them to help me up.

1474
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:35,000
Speaker 8: After nearly ten whole minutes of being ignored, I managed

1475
01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:38,840
Speaker 8: to stand up on my own and hobble through.

1476
01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:41,519
Speaker 7: To the Living God. So clearly Obi is hurt.

1477
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:44,680
Speaker 2: I sit down and Deborah says, what's happened to you?

1478
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 2: Are you okay?

1479
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:48,679
Speaker 8: I'll admit I saw red. I just said I fell

1480
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 8: down the stairs. Didn't you hear me calling you for help?

1481
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 8: Deborah's eyes widened and she said she was too busy

1482
01:10:55,439 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 8: fussing over the baby. My boyfriend just told them they're

1483
01:10:58,479 --> 01:11:00,720
Speaker 8: invited to Sunday Roast this week, and that's all I

1484
01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:02,920
Speaker 8: could tell. He was not happy about my decision, but

1485
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,639
Speaker 8: he said he went along with it because I'm the mother.

1486
01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:08,880
Speaker 8: Fast forward to Sunday and my brother in law and

1487
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:11,160
Speaker 8: sister in law are guests as well. Sister in law

1488
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 8: has a three year old and is totally on my side,

1489
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:15,920
Speaker 8: but brother in law is not. He told me to

1490
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:18,880
Speaker 8: be grateful for his parents support, as are significantly more

1491
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 8: well off than my parents are and paid for many

1492
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:24,720
Speaker 8: newborn infant expenses and plan to pay for many more

1493
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:27,479
Speaker 8: as the baby grows, which is kind of a confused that.

1494
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,439
Speaker 8: He was, like, they paid money forgive them.

1495
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:34,599
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's not the thing. The thing is like they

1496
01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 7: truly did not hear That would be my approach. I

1497
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:41,000
Speaker 7: think I'd be like there was a big misunderstanding.

1498
01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:41,479
Speaker 9: Yeah.

1499
01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:44,000
Speaker 8: So since then, Deborah keeps calling asking if we need

1500
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:46,080
Speaker 8: any help, and she says she feels awful not seeing

1501
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:47,719
Speaker 8: the both of you, and she misses the baby.

1502
01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:50,120
Speaker 9: Am I the a hole for not wanting them helping

1503
01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:51,919
Speaker 9: me in my day to day life?

1504
01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:55,280
Speaker 8: Was the baby crying loudly enough that there's a possibility

1505
01:11:55,320 --> 01:11:56,120
Speaker 8: they didn't hear you?

1506
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 9: No way.

1507
01:11:57,760 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 8: The baby stopped crying after ten seconds, and the stairs

1508
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:02,640
Speaker 8: are like two meters from the living room.

1509
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:04,160
Speaker 9: There's absolutely zero.

1510
01:12:04,080 --> 01:12:07,200
Speaker 8: Way they couldn't have heard me one scream as I fell,

1511
01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:10,880
Speaker 8: to the general noise of someone following, including books falling

1512
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:14,280
Speaker 8: and wall plates breaking. Dang, So there's a big noise,

1513
01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:17,479
Speaker 8: big noise. This is all important information. Yeah, me crying

1514
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:19,679
Speaker 8: and shouting for help as I fell at the top

1515
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:21,840
Speaker 8: of the stairs and fell all the way down. This

1516
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:24,439
Speaker 8: wasn't a misstep and a bum shuffle down that hurt

1517
01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:27,320
Speaker 8: my perfect bone. I fully fell down the stairs and

1518
01:12:27,439 --> 01:12:28,800
Speaker 8: cracked the banister.

1519
01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:30,639
Speaker 9: No way, they didn't hear.

1520
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:34,599
Speaker 8: The baby also started crying after the initial smack. After

1521
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:36,920
Speaker 8: I hit the ground, things started to click. It became

1522
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:38,840
Speaker 8: clear that they just want a baby to FoST over

1523
01:12:38,960 --> 01:12:41,400
Speaker 8: and the mother doesn't really matter to them. It didn't

1524
01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:44,519
Speaker 8: truly explain the logistics of the reaction to my accident,

1525
01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:46,559
Speaker 8: but a lot of things have made sense. I told

1526
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:48,799
Speaker 8: my boyfriend and we had a big discussion about boundaries.

1527
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:51,559
Speaker 8: Fiona also asked to come along for moral support and to.

1528
01:12:51,479 --> 01:12:53,639
Speaker 9: Speak her piece. She's not over the garden, dude.

1529
01:12:53,640 --> 01:12:54,559
Speaker 2: She's gonna be like I.

1530
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:56,160
Speaker 7: Was in the garden for thirty minutes and you never

1531
01:12:56,240 --> 01:12:56,800
Speaker 7: checked on me.

1532
01:12:57,320 --> 01:12:59,120
Speaker 2: Seems like she went into the garden just to make

1533
01:12:59,120 --> 01:12:59,479
Speaker 2: a point.

1534
01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:02,080
Speaker 7: Is like, Oh, I'm gonna stand in that guard and

1535
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:02,759
Speaker 7: they're not even.

1536
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:06,920
Speaker 2: Gonna notice and not know I'm picking the tomatoes. Those monsters.

1537
01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:09,400
Speaker 8: My boyfriend always had a hard time saying no to

1538
01:13:09,439 --> 01:13:12,160
Speaker 8: people and keeping boundaries, but we've agreed to fully commit.

1539
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:16,040
Speaker 8: We invited the in laws over to discuss some stuff.

1540
01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:20,320
Speaker 8: I'm glad the conversation is gonna happen. I don't think

1541
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:23,439
Speaker 8: it's gonna go well. I told him that I felt

1542
01:13:23,479 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 8: confused and upset by the reaction. I explained what Fiona

1543
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:27,920
Speaker 8: had told me and how it's not okay for them

1544
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:29,920
Speaker 8: to ignore the mother's and they shouldn't do it to

1545
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:32,120
Speaker 8: my other brother in law's girlfriend if they decide to

1546
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,840
Speaker 8: have kids.

1547
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:35,720
Speaker 7: This is reason, this is I think this is a

1548
01:13:35,720 --> 01:13:36,360
Speaker 7: fair response.

1549
01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:40,720
Speaker 8: Fiona also said her peace and stuck up from me

1550
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,599
Speaker 8: when mother in law father in law tried to interrupt

1551
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,920
Speaker 8: her twist the truth. Mother in law was very was

1552
01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:47,599
Speaker 8: clearly very uncomfortable and kept trying to interject with her

1553
01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:50,639
Speaker 8: side while we were talking, but she eventually listened to us.

1554
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,960
Speaker 8: She told us her side Apparently she was neglected by

1555
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,960
Speaker 8: fathers in law's side of this family and that they

1556
01:13:57,080 --> 01:14:00,479
Speaker 8: hated her for being poor. Father in law is old money.

1557
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:04,040
Speaker 8: Mother in law grew up in a village. She also

1558
01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:06,080
Speaker 8: said that she grew up with five younger brothers and

1559
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:07,960
Speaker 8: took care of them all and never learned how to

1560
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:10,639
Speaker 8: communicate with other women as she never got a good

1561
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 8: educationer who had friends because she was a caretaker. Obviously,

1562
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:17,479
Speaker 8: I was extremely sympathetic to all this I'm so glad

1563
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:22,640
Speaker 8: she context by having a conversation. Yeah, obviously, I was

1564
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:25,400
Speaker 8: extremely sympathetic to all this. My boyfriend had briefly mentioned

1565
01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:27,960
Speaker 8: that my mother in law was abused by her own parents,

1566
01:14:28,040 --> 01:14:30,719
Speaker 8: but never went into detail. I then asked them about

1567
01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:34,240
Speaker 8: the Stare incident. Finally gonna get context.

1568
01:14:34,280 --> 01:14:35,040
Speaker 7: He here we go.

1569
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:36,320
Speaker 9: Myther in law said she.

1570
01:14:37,840 --> 01:14:41,599
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, oh no, I'm about to be so long.

1571
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:43,840
Speaker 9: No, so wrong.

1572
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:45,320
Speaker 7: Oh, they were horrible people.

1573
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 5: Read it.

1574
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:54,000
Speaker 8: Mother in law said she didn't care about it in

1575
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:55,680
Speaker 8: the moment, Ah.

1576
01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:58,519
Speaker 7: They were horrible people. You know what. I prepared for

1577
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:00,719
Speaker 7: both sides. I said, I hope they're not horrible people.

1578
01:15:00,720 --> 01:15:02,639
Speaker 7: But here's my advice. If they are, cut them off.

1579
01:15:02,680 --> 01:15:06,479
Speaker 7: We wanted, oh yeah, I don't want to guilty unto

1580
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:10,080
Speaker 7: I mean innocent until proven guilty. And they are guilty.

1581
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:11,280
Speaker 2: They are guilty.

1582
01:15:11,400 --> 01:15:13,920
Speaker 7: Everyone who was like they're a holes, you were right,

1583
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:16,960
Speaker 7: feel vindicated. Say I told you so. In the chat.

1584
01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:19,040
Speaker 4: We just wanted a good I just wanted to make it.

1585
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:21,080
Speaker 7: Yeah. I just was happy that we were on a

1586
01:15:21,080 --> 01:15:25,639
Speaker 7: streak of good stories. I'm sorry you could totally cut

1587
01:15:25,640 --> 01:15:26,400
Speaker 7: these people off.

1588
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:29,360
Speaker 2: Put the camera on me. Oh, it's on you.

1589
01:15:29,760 --> 01:15:30,439
Speaker 9: I was wrong.

1590
01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:35,040
Speaker 2: I was wrong.

1591
01:15:36,520 --> 01:15:46,479
Speaker 9: My my naivety, my innocence consistently chipped away. I read it.

1592
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:52,559
Speaker 7: I was okay, okay, in this scenario, they freaking did

1593
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,720
Speaker 7: not help you, and they knew that you weren't. So

1594
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:56,599
Speaker 7: I feel like you totally have a right to cut

1595
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:58,240
Speaker 7: them off. You don't even I don't even think that

1596
01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:00,760
Speaker 7: you necessarily even like have to like be like, oh,

1597
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:02,920
Speaker 7: I just don't want you to babysit. You can go

1598
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:07,280
Speaker 7: low contact with these people. That's insane behavior. That's insane behavior.

1599
01:16:07,479 --> 01:16:10,559
Speaker 9: And digital Alex got creamed. I got creamed. I'm not

1600
01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:13,080
Speaker 9: gonna pretend that I got I prepared.

1601
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:13,920
Speaker 2: For both wrong.

1602
01:16:14,080 --> 01:16:15,520
Speaker 7: I just want to say I prepared.

1603
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:21,639
Speaker 8: For in people not being villains. I can't make that assumption. However,

1604
01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:25,000
Speaker 8: conversations were still made.

1605
01:16:24,920 --> 01:16:26,960
Speaker 7: Assumptions were made, and we had a conversation, and when

1606
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:30,240
Speaker 7: assumptions were still made, we got to the bottom of it.

1607
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:32,960
Speaker 8: And we finally got to that I'm still against making

1608
01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:39,200
Speaker 8: decisions without confirming assumptions. Assumptions did happen to be confirmed. Yeah,

1609
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,639
Speaker 8: but but you checked them finally.

1610
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:44,680
Speaker 7: Do you think it's really I still think it's funny

1611
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:47,280
Speaker 7: that OP was like yeah, and they like left me

1612
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 7: at the bottom of the stairs injured, and Fiona was

1613
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:52,200
Speaker 7: it her name, and she was like, yeah, I was

1614
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:55,799
Speaker 7: in the garden for thirty minutes. I still think that's funny,

1615
01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:58,040
Speaker 7: I said, I think it's funny that Opie was like, yeah,

1616
01:16:58,040 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 7: they left me at the bottom of the stairs, ignor

1617
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,160
Speaker 7: toward me. And I was like, I had a head,

1618
01:17:02,280 --> 01:17:04,720
Speaker 7: like a head injury and be honest, like I was

1619
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:10,200
Speaker 7: in the garden forty minutes. No one, no one said

1620
01:17:10,320 --> 01:17:12,040
Speaker 7: high or nothing.

1621
01:17:13,520 --> 01:17:16,760
Speaker 9: Well, everyone, I'm still processing.

1622
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:17,280
Speaker 2: Chat.

1623
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:19,760
Speaker 7: You gotta read that story. Let's find out what you did. Chat.

1624
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:20,120
Speaker 3: You were right.

1625
01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:20,679
Speaker 9: I was running.

1626
01:17:22,560 --> 01:17:28,240
Speaker 2: I never I'm mad at the parent. Someone clip it suck.

1627
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:34,280
Speaker 8: Okay, mother, and I'm gonna say it again for everyone.

1628
01:17:34,360 --> 01:17:36,400
Speaker 8: Mother in law says she didn't care about it in

1629
01:17:36,479 --> 01:17:39,120
Speaker 8: the moment and assumed I'd be fine because if I

1630
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:40,839
Speaker 8: was crying, I was alive.

1631
01:17:41,080 --> 01:17:44,920
Speaker 7: Ah, they're evil.

1632
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:46,400
Speaker 2: What the hell are evil?

1633
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,439
Speaker 7: They're evil? We said, Oh, we hope they're not evil.

1634
01:17:49,439 --> 01:17:50,040
Speaker 7: They're evil.

1635
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:55,120
Speaker 8: It defended you so much and you threw it away

1636
01:17:55,479 --> 01:18:02,080
Speaker 8: it away. I was taken aback by her response and

1637
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:05,720
Speaker 8: honestly took everything in me to not storm off I'm

1638
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:09,200
Speaker 8: about to storm off story damn show ah.

1639
01:18:09,320 --> 01:18:09,719
Speaker 9: Sorry.

1640
01:18:10,160 --> 01:18:13,879
Speaker 8: My boyfriend told her that that was a callous answer

1641
01:18:13,960 --> 01:18:17,960
Speaker 8: and not all problems, specifically medical, are immediately present, and

1642
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:20,800
Speaker 8: how I still had to go to the hospital hospital

1643
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:24,559
Speaker 8: afterwards due to him and injury. Father in law stopped

1644
01:18:24,640 --> 01:18:28,320
Speaker 8: him and said they thought the baby had fell out

1645
01:18:28,360 --> 01:18:31,240
Speaker 8: the crib slash crib had fallen over, which is why

1646
01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:34,080
Speaker 8: they went to him after he started crying again. What

1647
01:18:34,160 --> 01:18:35,840
Speaker 8: Sophia said, two people.

1648
01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:38,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, two people, come on, that's a one person job.

1649
01:18:39,880 --> 01:18:43,280
Speaker 8: I said, I understood that, but it would take maybe

1650
01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:44,840
Speaker 8: ten seconds to check and see.

1651
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:47,040
Speaker 9: He was okay, what were they doing for the other

1652
01:18:47,200 --> 01:18:49,479
Speaker 9: ten minutes? She's like crying.

1653
01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:52,519
Speaker 2: She's like oh, and they're like, oh, she's you need

1654
01:18:52,560 --> 01:18:53,679
Speaker 2: her to like extra calm.

1655
01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:56,120
Speaker 7: They're doing that TikTok trend where it's like it's like

1656
01:18:56,160 --> 01:18:57,960
Speaker 7: a bunch of people surrounding a baby and they're like

1657
01:18:58,200 --> 01:19:02,120
Speaker 7: crying again. I'm was like, and then they like go

1658
01:19:02,760 --> 01:19:04,439
Speaker 7: back and you guys don't want.

1659
01:19:04,320 --> 01:19:06,240
Speaker 2: To tech know, well that seems curious.

1660
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:07,680
Speaker 7: It's like all the lights are on the baby and

1661
01:19:07,680 --> 01:19:09,840
Speaker 7: the baby's like what and they're like saying, and then

1662
01:19:09,840 --> 01:19:11,160
Speaker 7: it goes back and then all the.

1663
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:14,559
Speaker 8: Thank yous racers. It's still a crazy thing to assume,

1664
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:15,639
Speaker 8: because it is crazy.

1665
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:18,400
Speaker 7: It's crazy. This is crazy.

1666
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:23,240
Speaker 8: Unfortunately, we didn't really get anywhere regarding the stairs as incident.

1667
01:19:23,320 --> 01:19:25,559
Speaker 8: They both believe they didn't do much wrong. Is most

1668
01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,439
Speaker 8: mothers don't have a support system like us, So now

1669
01:19:28,439 --> 01:19:29,800
Speaker 8: they're like gaslighting tho.

1670
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:33,240
Speaker 7: Yea, it's just like most mothers don't have a support system. Yeah,

1671
01:19:33,320 --> 01:19:34,920
Speaker 7: that would come after ten minutes.

1672
01:19:36,479 --> 01:19:39,280
Speaker 8: Most mothers would have a crying baby and be down

1673
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:39,719
Speaker 8: the stairs.

1674
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:40,799
Speaker 7: Yeah you're welcome.

1675
01:19:40,840 --> 01:19:42,479
Speaker 9: You had not a crying baby anymore.

1676
01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:45,479
Speaker 7: Yeah, just you crying, Just you broken.

1677
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:48,400
Speaker 8: I told them that I'm not comfortable with them taking

1678
01:19:48,400 --> 01:19:50,360
Speaker 8: care of the babies. They can't understand why what they

1679
01:19:50,360 --> 01:19:51,400
Speaker 8: did was upsetting and wrong.

1680
01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:53,559
Speaker 7: I'm not comfortable with having them in my life anymore.

1681
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:55,800
Speaker 7: Most complete sense, they alsocial paths.

1682
01:19:57,920 --> 01:19:59,920
Speaker 8: On the positive side, I guess I now understand my

1683
01:20:00,160 --> 01:20:01,439
Speaker 8: and Law's motivations a bit more.

1684
01:20:01,479 --> 01:20:06,679
Speaker 9: It explains a lot about her character's evil villain behavior.

1685
01:20:06,840 --> 01:20:10,400
Speaker 8: Yeah, it explains a lot about her character. We were

1686
01:20:10,439 --> 01:20:13,320
Speaker 8: not going no contact or low contract at all, and

1687
01:20:13,360 --> 01:20:14,880
Speaker 8: they could still come over for visits.

1688
01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:16,080
Speaker 2: But I've told my boyfriend.

1689
01:20:16,120 --> 01:20:17,680
Speaker 9: He also needs to be there, as they seemed to

1690
01:20:17,720 --> 01:20:18,800
Speaker 9: listen to him and not meet.

1691
01:20:19,040 --> 01:20:20,840
Speaker 7: I think they're more forgiving than I would.

1692
01:20:20,560 --> 01:20:22,200
Speaker 2: Be, honestly.

1693
01:20:22,520 --> 01:20:24,519
Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah, and that's going from Alex.

1694
01:20:24,680 --> 01:20:24,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1695
01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:29,120
Speaker 7: They just said, they said, we didn't care. We heard

1696
01:20:29,160 --> 01:20:30,799
Speaker 7: you crying, so you were alive.

1697
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:36,040
Speaker 2: What I don't know, Stella Pad, we're not divorced with okay,

1698
01:20:36,240 --> 01:20:37,639
Speaker 2: but you're changing last name.

1699
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:41,880
Speaker 8: Before the therapy. Stella Pain just divorced Alex live. That

1700
01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:44,280
Speaker 8: is what happened. That is literally what happened.

1701
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,639
Speaker 2: I'll take it. Yeah, damn, this is crazy.

1702
01:20:48,720 --> 01:20:49,719
Speaker 9: I respect the decision.

1703
01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:50,760
Speaker 2: All right.

1704
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:52,519
Speaker 9: So that's the update.

1705
01:20:52,840 --> 01:20:55,559
Speaker 8: Thank you for reading, and thank you Morgan for reading

1706
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,040
Speaker 8: my posts and giving advice.

1707
01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:58,360
Speaker 2: Who's I don't know who is?

1708
01:20:58,640 --> 01:21:02,320
Speaker 8: By the way, you can and listen to full episodes

1709
01:21:02,320 --> 01:21:05,120
Speaker 8: with stories like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1710
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:07,040
Speaker 8: or your new favorite podcast app and search.

1711
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:08,240
Speaker 9: Okay, story time.

1712
01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:09,920
Speaker 4: It's so bad when you guys read it.

1713
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:14,479
Speaker 7: There, I know, but there is a little bit left,

1714
01:21:14,680 --> 01:21:16,640
Speaker 7: and I think I've said all of my thoughts, so

1715
01:21:16,720 --> 01:21:17,679
Speaker 7: let's just get into it.

1716
01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:19,320
Speaker 9: Jesus josephin.

1717
01:21:20,840 --> 01:21:23,680
Speaker 8: Okay, there's another relevant update, but let's discuss edit. I'm

1718
01:21:23,680 --> 01:21:25,880
Speaker 8: logging off, but before I go, I just want to

1719
01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:27,799
Speaker 8: say that I have no issue with standing up for myself.

1720
01:21:27,840 --> 01:21:30,479
Speaker 8: There's a lot of nuanced and personal details I left out,

1721
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:33,120
Speaker 8: but we have our reasons for not going low contact

1722
01:21:33,120 --> 01:21:35,160
Speaker 8: no contact with mother in law and father in law.

1723
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:37,400
Speaker 8: People seem to think that because I have the capability

1724
01:21:37,439 --> 01:21:39,880
Speaker 8: to understand empathize with my mother in law's pass abuse,

1725
01:21:39,880 --> 01:21:40,839
Speaker 8: that I'm letting it slide.

1726
01:21:41,360 --> 01:21:41,760
Speaker 2: I am not.

1727
01:21:42,320 --> 01:21:45,080
Speaker 8: That is what Reddit always assumes. Yes, I simply said

1728
01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:48,360
Speaker 8: it explains her better. I don't really know what I expected.

1729
01:21:48,400 --> 01:21:50,479
Speaker 8: I thought this this subs users would be different from

1730
01:21:50,479 --> 01:21:52,439
Speaker 8: most other subs because of how nice the comments are

1731
01:21:52,439 --> 01:21:54,920
Speaker 8: on YouTube. Be guess I was wrong. I guess I

1732
01:21:55,080 --> 01:21:57,479
Speaker 8: was wrong too. Won't be coming back here?

1733
01:21:57,920 --> 01:21:59,680
Speaker 2: Well, come to us?

1734
01:21:59,720 --> 01:21:59,920
Speaker 7: I love.

1735
01:22:00,040 --> 01:22:04,200
Speaker 9: I was like groasted the subreddit before she left.

1736
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:08,080
Speaker 7: She's like, you get forget suck. Our subreddit is so

1737
01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:12,439
Speaker 7: much better, so much better. Jane Digital says no update

1738
01:22:12,479 --> 01:22:15,720
Speaker 7: about Fiona. She might still be in the garden, guys.

1739
01:22:15,720 --> 01:22:16,000
Speaker 9: Funny