Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought more hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now. That it does, we are back
Speaker 1: at it again and uh, we'll tell you right now.
Speaker 1: The audio sunning, professional sounding, first class. More on that
Speaker 1: in a minute. You know, sometimes the grownups have to
Speaker 1: take over, and that's what happened here. But it is
Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and David Gascon because
Speaker 1: as we say, four hours on the radio are clearly
Speaker 1: not enough. We are everywhere you can get podcasts on
Speaker 1: the I Heart podcast network, but it's available anywhere you
Speaker 1: get your fine podcast. So coming up on today's edition
Speaker 1: from the Bastro. As I'm literally sitting in Benny's Beastro here,
Speaker 1: this is the menu we've got, take the oath, march
Speaker 1: on through the Charleston fish food study. This what else
Speaker 1: do we have? Grab bag? And also, don't stick to
Speaker 1: sports stories of the week, which is pretty much the
Speaker 1: entire podcast guest go On as we have managed on
Speaker 1: this version of the podcast to pretty much do it
Speaker 1: all football season and rarely actually mentioned anything related to
Speaker 1: sports Man. This is not the first time I have
Speaker 1: dragged myself and peeled myself out of bed on a
Speaker 1: short week laboring injured, beat up, but I somehow succumb
Speaker 1: to my wounds at certain times from the day, but
Speaker 1: not for the fifth out with Ben maller As. I
Speaker 1: have been defiant against my body's wishes to come in
Speaker 1: here and record the stupid podcast with you. Yeah and uh,
Speaker 1: and people really love the grit that you have here.
Speaker 1: Guess gone. You know. The first rule of GRID is
Speaker 1: to not say that you're using GRID, but you believe
Speaker 1: that you need to do that. You were, You were
Speaker 1: essentially fishing you like you had eulogy radio for three
Speaker 1: weeks because of a of a mishap and your ballot
Speaker 1: woman could have died. People die from that. I showed toughness,
Speaker 1: I showed courage determination. I was in hospital for almost
Speaker 1: five days, and there I was back with the intestinal fortitude,
Speaker 1: lacking some intestines, the moral fiber. All right, break by
Speaker 1: Brick segment by segment, I was able to pull that off. Blood,
Speaker 1: sweat and tears. Guest gon, I'm gonna teach you. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna teach you because your job. A lot of people
Speaker 1: don't know this, but in radio, night radio, weekend radio,
Speaker 1: you don't make a lot of money. Gascon actually drives
Speaker 1: a Mr. Softy truck during the day. Actually no money
Speaker 1: at all. Yeah, you you do a Mr Softy driving
Speaker 1: that thing there, and and you you have the music
Speaker 1: Mr Softy, And that's how you do it, right. I
Speaker 1: listened to podcasts driving and uh, I drive a high
Speaker 1: performance sports utility vehicle. Um, because it's one you don't
Speaker 1: know how to drive. By the way, you don't know
Speaker 1: how to drive the car. Did you tell your audience
Speaker 1: last week you tried taking a picture of one of
Speaker 1: our colleagues, only to find out that it wasn't one
Speaker 1: of our colleagues. It was just some random idiot that
Speaker 1: didn't know it was out. It was someone at what
Speaker 1: does work in the building? And I did take the
Speaker 1: photo it was it was a gas Guyn like parking job.
Speaker 1: I thought you were now teaching classes on other employees
Speaker 1: how to park um, and uh, you know, I want
Speaker 1: someone to be as unintelligent as you are parking in
Speaker 1: the car and um, but it was the same brand
Speaker 1: and color of the car of the aforementioned coworker. However,
Speaker 1: uh it turned out to be uh, somebody had a
Speaker 1: different license plate. But when trying to rat goes wrong
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller, No, I wasn't trying to rat. I
Speaker 1: didn't talk about it on the radio or anything like that.
Speaker 1: I was just showing you that there's other people. I
Speaker 1: was trying to help you out because I know you
Speaker 1: get depressed and stuff and you need you need your
Speaker 1: therapy and your therapy dog and your medicine. All that
Speaker 1: guests gout. So I, you know, it's such a bad parker.
Speaker 1: I wanted to show you that there's other people out
Speaker 1: there that are just as bad, if not worse than you.
Speaker 1: I was trying to cheer you up. So really, you know,
Speaker 1: no good deed goes unpunished. Right here, I am trying
Speaker 1: to help you out, and you scoff at that. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, and anyone else, woul is it? Thank you
Speaker 1: for that. It's so nice of you to see that
Speaker 1: my position in life, but not, you know, not at all.
Speaker 1: I think you're trying to get some humor out of this.
Speaker 1: I think you're trying to take a shot. You're trying
Speaker 1: to use it for fodder during your four hour show,
Speaker 1: and uh, you weren't gonna get any of that. So well,
Speaker 1: I do have a blank canvas of four hours of
Speaker 1: amazing talk radio. You need some new colors, though, you
Speaker 1: have some horrific colors of the last you are, You're
Speaker 1: General Custer, You're you're going into little Big Horn with
Speaker 1: this attitude. I don't think you understand, you do not
Speaker 1: understand the power of that. We'll let's we'll get to
Speaker 1: all that, But why don't we begin with take the Oath?
Speaker 1: And for many years, alright, many years, and we've been
Speaker 1: doing the radio show. I've been doing the show, but
Speaker 1: we've worked here. We've had new people that come in,
Speaker 1: Thank god, because if you know, even though there's like
Speaker 1: the same five people that call the show every night
Speaker 1: and harass me and and drive me to the Luni
Speaker 1: bind but you know, there's new people that come in
Speaker 1: and find the show. They start working overnights or whatever,
Speaker 1: They change of affiliates and they find the show. Well
Speaker 1: how are they find? Uh? And it's it's like the
Speaker 1: Mallard Militia is thought of like the Illuminati for new listeners.
Speaker 1: There's this shroud of mystery around the Mallard Militia. Many
Speaker 1: people want to know how it works, right you. I've
Speaker 1: gotten over the years. I've gotten messages on social media.
Speaker 1: I've gotten messages on emails. There like a secret handshake.
Speaker 1: You know, there's some weird human sacrifice, like you gotta
Speaker 1: burn some weed or something like that to join, or
Speaker 1: I guess that wouldn't be a human sacrifice. Is there
Speaker 1: an i Q test? Obviously if you listen to O,
Speaker 1: there's no i Q test. Skeeter from Montana. You know
Speaker 1: who Skeeter is? I do not. Yeah, he's a good guy.
Speaker 1: That's why you don't know him. And Skeeter from Montana's
Speaker 1: veteran now lives in Montana, but he was the latest.
Speaker 1: He asked me earlier this week he said, you know,
Speaker 1: how do I join the Mallet Mussa? Because she said
Speaker 1: he asked me like every time he calls. He's obsessed
Speaker 1: with joining the Mallet Mussa. So I have decided Gascon
Speaker 1: to come up with the first ever official Mallard Militia
Speaker 1: oath Yes Yes, and to debut it right here on
Speaker 1: this podcast, The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallar, and now
Speaker 1: does now when this oath is recited, though, does it
Speaker 1: have to be recited in in a chorus like in
Speaker 1: a in a kind of um, I don't know, musical
Speaker 1: um musical trend. I guess, well said, Well said, like
Speaker 1: almost like an alma mater, right, like you know when
Speaker 1: you get like Michigan or or I love you know
Speaker 1: the military guys, guy like good loyal ex soldiers, soldiers
Speaker 1: and whatnot to listen to show. So this is really
Speaker 1: an homage to the United States military. It yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: So here it is here, this is the Mallard Militia Oath,
Speaker 1: And here it is, I state your name, do solemnly
Speaker 1: swear that I will support and defend the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show against all enemies foreign and domestic, and that I
Speaker 1: will obey the orders to peacefully fight back against hostile
Speaker 1: attacks from rivals, sports, gas bags, and blowhards. So help
Speaker 1: me God about that. It's okay. We are a no,
Speaker 1: we are peaceful. Guest, you don't know this because you're
Speaker 1: you're you're seeing the ugly side of the Mallard Militia.
Speaker 1: But we are a peaceful bunch. Our battlefield is social media,
Speaker 1: and we have to call enemies of the show out
Speaker 1: like you and UH and in the malle militia. This
Speaker 1: is a band of funeral directors, police fireman, criminals, truck drivers,
Speaker 1: factory workers, security guards, you name it, short order cooks,
Speaker 1: retired people with insomnia, sweet grandpas and grandma's and anyone else.
Speaker 1: Sportscasters not allowed, but we have so actly we do
Speaker 1: have some sportscasters that listen to KG, A couple of
Speaker 1: the local ones right, NBC and ABC. I have heard
Speaker 1: from all the big well not all of them, but
Speaker 1: I've heard I actoually know I. I've heard from the
Speaker 1: sports anchors at Channel two in l A, Jim Hill,
Speaker 1: Channel four, Rogan, Rob's a big guy. Rob's like that
Speaker 1: he's probably the biggest, and then UH, our friend Liz
Speaker 1: Habib over Channel eleven and l A all have admitted
Speaker 1: to me in a moment of weakness, that they listened
Speaker 1: to the shows as they leave the TV stations they
Speaker 1: work at their respectively. So they've all admitted that that's
Speaker 1: pretty good. There you go. Has that helped me get
Speaker 1: on any of their stations doing TV? No No has
Speaker 1: helped you get on a a station or two. This guy,
Speaker 1: this guy here, David, I don't see anyone you about
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago on television. It was something
Speaker 1: you had not experienced ever in your long, drawn out,
Speaker 1: dragged out career. Yeah, well you know something else I
Speaker 1: haven't experienced yet about that, And that's a check you promised.
Speaker 1: You were very braggadocious. So as of right now, that
Speaker 1: is pro bono. That was free. So if you don't
Speaker 1: get paid, didn't really happen. That's the way I look
Speaker 1: at That's fine for the greater good. Like alright, moving on,
Speaker 1: very exciting news. I will be debuting all the details
Speaker 1: right here. We've flirted with this on the radio show.
Speaker 1: But march on. Be sure to catch live editions of
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
Speaker 1: pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app. I can confirm that the Mallard Man March
Speaker 1: is going to happen. The Mallard Man March twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: I'm calling out all my listeners, all you guys that
Speaker 1: are friends of the show in the Seattle area, anywhere
Speaker 1: in the Pacific Northwest, that's in reasonable driving distance. We're
Speaker 1: still working out the logistics, but I have been uh
Speaker 1: the mallam militious come up. They really want me to
Speaker 1: be here, and they have a stepped up certain members
Speaker 1: and have taken care of some things. And so I
Speaker 1: will be flying into Seattle during my end of year
Speaker 1: sabbatical from the radio show, which I usually did the
Speaker 1: last couple of weeks of the year. And for our
Speaker 1: Seattle listeners, again, if you're within driving distance, we are
Speaker 1: gonna have an amazing night of super fans getting together,
Speaker 1: telling stories about the radio show, whatever else comes up,
Speaker 1: and it's it's it's gonna be great. And there's two chances,
Speaker 1: guess Scott, I did the math on this, two chances
Speaker 1: to hang out. Because not everyone wants to go to
Speaker 1: the Seahawks game. Not everyone has tickets to the Seahawks game.
Speaker 1: Not everyone wants to deal with the headache that the
Speaker 1: Seahawks game is gonna be a century length field. So
Speaker 1: on Saturday December, you better take notes, guests, can I
Speaker 1: hear you signed? So Saturday December, I'm gonna be in
Speaker 1: Seattle that day and that night we're gonna have like
Speaker 1: a mini get together at some restaurant or bar. We're
Speaker 1: still working out where. So if you know anybody in
Speaker 1: Seattle who owns a restaurant or a bar, you do
Speaker 1: contact us if it's kind of near Century Link Field.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna do that on Saturday for a few
Speaker 1: hours and then on Sunday, the twenty nine. Well, that's
Speaker 1: that's where it just gets off the hook. That's where
Speaker 1: we will have a mallard man march around Century Link
Speaker 1: Field with signs, bull horns and people banging on trash
Speaker 1: cans like the Astros. I would imagine that would be
Speaker 1: part of it. There some whistles. It is going to
Speaker 1: be off the hook. It's gonna be very reminiscent guest
Speaker 1: Gun of the time. I marched around the streets of
Speaker 1: Los Angeles with a great clipper, Daryl, and we marched
Speaker 1: for Lebron James ten years ago, and so every ten
Speaker 1: years I gotta do this. I take a different city.
Speaker 1: But I'm excited about Seattle. It's gonna be on and
Speaker 1: I hope I'm not gonna be there that long, but
Speaker 1: I hope to go out and experience the flavor of
Speaker 1: Seattle and all that good. I just hope it doesn't snow,
Speaker 1: because occasionally it snows there in that time of the years.
Speaker 1: I hope it, hopefully it doesn't snow. I really hope
Speaker 1: they don't open up the wallet for you. Um. I've
Speaker 1: heard some rumblings about some things that have been taken
Speaker 1: care of already. It makes me makes me nauseous. Who's
Speaker 1: picking you up from the airport? First of all, I'll
Speaker 1: take an uber or whatever. I don't think you will,
Speaker 1: I will. I have, I have the Uber app on
Speaker 1: my phone. I'll take the Uber. I'm taking care of
Speaker 1: a lot of the costs, not all of them, obviously,
Speaker 1: it's some of the big chunk of that was taken
Speaker 1: care of by them militia. But I'll take care of
Speaker 1: the rest. Unbelievable, I mean it's not unbelievable. Your net
Speaker 1: because no one likes no one likes you, and nobody
Speaker 1: wants to help you out. Your net worth is three
Speaker 1: million dollars and you're you're panhandling on natural radio to Seattle. No, No,
Speaker 1: I did not pan hell. This was this was presented
Speaker 1: to me, unlike that bumb in Miami. I did not.
Speaker 1: Even though you think I'm richer than Scrooge McDuck I
Speaker 1: was not planning on attending. And these these fine members
Speaker 1: of the Mallam Militia got together and they said, you know,
Speaker 1: we gotta make this happen. We want to we want
Speaker 1: to make this a special event. And uh and so
Speaker 1: they contacted me and some of the key members. They're
Speaker 1: j Scooped, legendary talent show winner, back to back years.
Speaker 1: It has been great. He's like a Chamber of Commerce
Speaker 1: guy for Seattle. And you go down there. Ed from Spokane,
Speaker 1: We're we've got him in the in the mix. Christina
Speaker 1: from Spokane, I understand. I got an email. I got
Speaker 1: a bunch of people, I guess from Vancouver, Guys from Portland,
Speaker 1: Oregon that area, Lee from Seattle who's been a caller,
Speaker 1: all these people planning on attending here, and uh so
Speaker 1: it's you know, in your face? Wait wait, why is
Speaker 1: it in my face when you're just you're just robbing
Speaker 1: these people of their well hard earned money. Well, because
Speaker 1: I can't get you to go across the street unless
Speaker 1: you're you know, you're getting paid for it. I can't.
Speaker 1: You're you know, and I here I am as an
Speaker 1: act of kindness. You're on my sabbatical, my end of
Speaker 1: year sabbatical cutting into that to hang out with fans
Speaker 1: of the show. Because I'm a man of the people.
Speaker 1: Guess that's what I am. Yeah, you get may, I'm
Speaker 1: the working class guy. I'm not song. You think Colin
Speaker 1: Cowhorn is gonna take that time off, this vacation to God, No,
Speaker 1: of course not. I think it's it's nice that you
Speaker 1: took an all expenses paid trip to Seattle. It's not
Speaker 1: at all. It just it's not at all expensive, expensive,
Speaker 1: expensive trade whatever you said, it's not. Listen, it's uh
Speaker 1: even though you think I'm in highsiety and all that
Speaker 1: and uh money bags. But yeah, I mean I I
Speaker 1: don't believe I am richer than Scrooge mcdock. I don't.
Speaker 1: I've been to the mansion and say, four car garagets there,
Speaker 1: a lengthy driveway with a massive backyard. You have your
Speaker 1: own fire pit, which normal people do not have. I
Speaker 1: have a firepit that costs like fifty bucks at the
Speaker 1: home depot. And I do sleep in a garage. You
Speaker 1: don't know that. But I do sleep in a garage.
Speaker 1: About that. Yeah, so technically I'm homeless. I sleep in
Speaker 1: a garage. Are you gonna meet up with Stephen. I
Speaker 1: think Stephen was taking some pictures last week or the
Speaker 1: week before. Uh, he was at the Washington Huskies game.
Speaker 1: I think it was at the Apple Cup. I think
Speaker 1: it was. So he might be another guy that I'd
Speaker 1: love to meet him, and hopefully, you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'll tweet all this stuff out once we get everything
Speaker 1: locked down, and and and and all that. So, um,
Speaker 1: she's actually she doesn't seem that upset by it, because
Speaker 1: she's not going. I'm going by myself, but she she
Speaker 1: one of her friends, one of her girlfriends is having
Speaker 1: a birthday. Then, so I should probably just go out
Speaker 1: and get drunk and have a wonderful time. Pretty good idea.
Speaker 1: Leave the ball in chain away there, which I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm a ball in chain, but she'll know happy
Speaker 1: to get rid of me for the weekend, you know.
Speaker 1: But she might have some some friends that that needs
Speaker 1: some comforting during the holiday season, and uh, she can
Speaker 1: find some real men that would help out, but probably
Speaker 1: not you well, you never know. Alright, moving on to
Speaker 1: fish food, fish food, And this is a really a
Speaker 1: tribute to the high society of my guy, David Gascon,
Speaker 1: a radio mercenary. Some would call them, based on last
Speaker 1: week's podcast, a radio podcast assassin for what he did
Speaker 1: to that podcast, and he is the producer an addition
Speaker 1: to being on the podcast, he produces the audio content.
Speaker 1: And you are also now public enemy number one for
Speaker 1: the malle militia because the stunt you pulled last week, okay,
Speaker 1: was an audio atrocity. I don't think it was too bad.
Speaker 1: It was horrific, was it? Yes, it wasn't bad for me.
Speaker 1: I mean it's you know, I think we can be
Speaker 1: safe to say as long as I'm taking care of
Speaker 1: it's all good. Right. Yeah. So, the the Mallar militia
Speaker 1: so upset with your snob attitude here that they have
Speaker 1: gone on the offensive, and so we've had had our
Speaker 1: own little civil war going on between the mallem Militia
Speaker 1: and Gascon. But some of the reactions from the people
Speaker 1: that listened to the podcast last week that admitted they
Speaker 1: tried to download the fifth hour with Ben Mallard, they
Speaker 1: called the the audio quality again. I heart Media is
Speaker 1: a major media company that we do this podcast for.
Speaker 1: It's a massively huge important media audio content a company
Speaker 1: with millions and millions of people that listened to content
Speaker 1: on on I Heart every day. We are representing that company,
Speaker 1: and the fans called the audio. They said it sounded
Speaker 1: like it was recorded in a fish bowl. It sounded
Speaker 1: like you guys were on different continents. Cans on a
Speaker 1: string was one way it was described. Somebody wondered which
Speaker 1: cave we were in when we were recording it. Uh.
Speaker 1: Some of the other lines that sounded like my kids
Speaker 1: baby monitor. I think that was Mr Nice Guy and
Speaker 1: was recorded with walkie talkies in a bathroom, kids walkie
Speaker 1: talkies in a bathroom. But wait, there's more. Guests on
Speaker 1: other people describe your work as a fast food drive
Speaker 1: through speaker quality. May I have your order? That's from
Speaker 1: your gag On parody account? So you sent that one
Speaker 1: out the David gag On account. Uh. Somebody else said
Speaker 1: it sounded like it was recorded on a like a
Speaker 1: nineteen eighties audio cassette, old technology, and I think it
Speaker 1: was Mr Nice Guy also said my granddaughter's elementary school
Speaker 1: play had better production value than The Fifth Hour with
Speaker 1: Ben Maller So gas Scott, I am going to give
Speaker 1: you a chance, all right, I'm gonna the prosecution rest
Speaker 1: go ahead, defending defend yourself. Well, I think you just
Speaker 1: acknowledge the fact that we are working for a multi
Speaker 1: multimillion dollar company that has a wide array of audio
Speaker 1: content that's provided throughout their platforms sports, news, pop music,
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. And I think we can point
Speaker 1: to what was the root cause to have that audio
Speaker 1: quality like that. And I think it's safe to say
Speaker 1: Ben that weekend and week out, you'd never ever seem
Speaker 1: to have that kind of a problem. Am I correct? Well,
Speaker 1: I usually work with professionals. I work with people that
Speaker 1: don't mail it in. You usually work with professional equipment. Um,
Speaker 1: So I think I think it's safe to say that
Speaker 1: if I had the luxury of rolling out of my
Speaker 1: bed in two hundred thousand dollars worth of equipment to
Speaker 1: record set audio podcast, I think you would listen to
Speaker 1: it with distinct perfection, uh clear clearness that you would
Speaker 1: expect to have on a regular, everyday basis. Now, for
Speaker 1: the professionals with air quotes that you work with, I
Speaker 1: think it's safe to say that on a daily basis
Speaker 1: when you bash said talent, you really don't work with
Speaker 1: professionals on your show. So wow, you're now telling people
Speaker 1: roll Mama Luke, what's wrong with you? This is my
Speaker 1: chance to talk to the jury. So I asked for forgiveness.
Speaker 1: I asked for understanding. I do not drive sixty five
Speaker 1: minutes to seventy five minutes out of my way just
Speaker 1: to record a podcast, especially when I'm not on the
Speaker 1: clock for other shows of Fox Sports Radio. So that
Speaker 1: being said, I went to an alterior motive, and that
Speaker 1: was to chop down the gut gas, to chop down
Speaker 1: my commute, and to do something a little bit differently
Speaker 1: where we recorded on a different kind of a platform
Speaker 1: and then ingested it through Fox Sports Radio and and
Speaker 1: Apple iTunes portals. So um, that probably will not happen again.
Speaker 1: But football season is coming to a close, so thankfully,
Speaker 1: Bett Mallor, we will not have that problem for quite
Speaker 1: a while anyone whence football season kicks around. Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: so are you done the defense? Rest? Alright? As the judge,
Speaker 1: jury and execution. You have been tried, you have been
Speaker 1: convicted on all charges, and you will soon be executed.
Speaker 1: So good afternoon, good evening, and good night to David Gascon.
Speaker 1: Because you don't have the facts your little sobs story,
Speaker 1: no one's working. You turned this podcast into the Devil's Workshop.
Speaker 1: That was the Evil Hour. It wasn't the fifth hour.
Speaker 1: It was the Evil Hour. The one thing we have
Speaker 1: we don't have photos gascon. All we have is audio content.
Speaker 1: All we have is audio content. That is it. We
Speaker 1: have nothing else. Be sure to catch live editions of
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern
Speaker 1: eleven pm Pacific. I thought I redeemed myself on Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: Day when I drafted Jennie and Tom Looney amongst the
Speaker 1: Fox Sports radio colleagues for the Benn Maller Show. There
Speaker 1: was a poll that was done during one of the shows,
Speaker 1: and I thought, I I thought I represented your show
Speaker 1: to the fullow. Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't know I
Speaker 1: was gonna bring that up. I forgot to even put
Speaker 1: that on the list of so much other stuff I
Speaker 1: want to talk about. Well, what I mean, what a
Speaker 1: bitter co worker? I mean Dan Buyer, a guy that
Speaker 1: I like. I've known Buyer for years. I knew him
Speaker 1: when he was nothing and now he's a big management
Speaker 1: guy that works on the air. And and this guy
Speaker 1: to attack, to savagely attack me on a national holiday,
Speaker 1: a day where I am trying to live my life
Speaker 1: with my in laws, my family. There eat turkey and
Speaker 1: stuffing and to get my social media blown up because
Speaker 1: this guy is doing a verbal assault. All right, that's
Speaker 1: what That's why we have the Mallam Militia oath, right,
Speaker 1: and we we gave the oath earlier. Here. You gotta
Speaker 1: support and defender Ben Maller Show against all enemies foreign
Speaker 1: and domestic. Well, I guess this would be a domestic
Speaker 1: in house enemy. I mean, that's that's unreal. I thought
Speaker 1: he was right on point. I thought he was paying
Speaker 1: on it was point. I thought he was paying homage
Speaker 1: to the Ben Maller Show. He did a list. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know you love list radio, gas gun and all that,
Speaker 1: but think about this buyer. I don't know what he's
Speaker 1: got going on in his life. I'm assuming he's a
Speaker 1: busy guy. One year ago we assaulted. I made some
Speaker 1: jokes on the Overnight Show about Bayer doing a Thanksgiving draft,
Speaker 1: and he still held that grudge, which I kind of respect,
Speaker 1: actually for an entire year, waiting to punch back, right,
Speaker 1: waiting to throw the flying spaghetti monster at me. And
Speaker 1: he did. He planted the flag right on your turf.
Speaker 1: It was great. I appreciate it, and he it wasn't
Speaker 1: a list. It was a draft. Those guys, those other
Speaker 1: guys don't listen to the show. They had to be
Speaker 1: told what was going on. They had to be told
Speaker 1: it was all. It was all choreographed. Well I know,
Speaker 1: I know choreographed when I hear it. All right, that
Speaker 1: was choreographed. That was scripted radio is what it was.
Speaker 1: I thought it was great. I thought the intentions were positive,
Speaker 1: especially on a Thanksgiving holiday, especially when you were just
Speaker 1: sitting around watching football all day. I don't even think
Speaker 1: he did a show that night. I believe it was
Speaker 1: tape recording all four hours. Yes, yeah, I was. Tape
Speaker 1: recorders have made it. I was able to successfully predict
Speaker 1: the outcome of all the Thanksgiving game. Uh yeah. We
Speaker 1: taped it on a Monday, but we did a couple
Speaker 1: of different versions. You know, Cowboys win, Cowboys lose, Bills win,
Speaker 1: Bills lose, Bears win, Lions win, or the vice versa,
Speaker 1: and we just went down, you know, Saints Falcon's and
Speaker 1: then that's it, and we just put it all together
Speaker 1: with some duct tape and some spit and there you go. Well,
Speaker 1: at least it made Eddie's holiday, that's what it did.
Speaker 1: So he was really Eddie was not there. Eddie was
Speaker 1: not Eddie, and Cooper not there but me and Roberto. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but working class on the show we were. Eddie was
Speaker 1: happy that he was drafted number one overall. So well,
Speaker 1: that's just update on update love. You know. That's but
Speaker 1: that's just like coaches praising other coaches, quarterbacks praising other quarterbacks.
Speaker 1: That's that's how that works. We all know how that works.
Speaker 1: All right, What are you done bitching about last week?
Speaker 1: Because I don't think the audio is that bad, but
Speaker 1: apparently some people did. The best part is is that
Speaker 1: was still even as bad as it was, people still
Speaker 1: uploaded it and listened to it. That's all I really
Speaker 1: care about. Just like when they drive down the highway,
Speaker 1: they drive dow on the interstate and they see in
Speaker 1: a sixteen car pile up on the side of the road.
Speaker 1: They stopped and they called the terms rubber necking. We
Speaker 1: had a lot of rubber neckers last week. They couldn't
Speaker 1: believe that a professional broadcaster, a guy that's been on
Speaker 1: the radio for twenty years, would put his name on
Speaker 1: an amateur like Mr. Microphone type of podcast. You know
Speaker 1: what they say, you get what you pay for Ben
Speaker 1: mallor you get what you pay for, you get what
Speaker 1: you pay for guests, gon get what you pay for
Speaker 1: all right, Uh, let's let's get to study this, all right.
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
Speaker 1: the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports
Speaker 1: Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app
Speaker 1: search f s R to listen live. And this is
Speaker 1: where we look at actual studies and we say is
Speaker 1: it real or is it bullshit? And this is a
Speaker 1: tribute to one of my favorite TV shows, Penn and
Speaker 1: Teller's Bullshit, which which on what was our showtime for years.
Speaker 1: I've been on a long time, but I love that
Speaker 1: show because they had examined something and they'd say is
Speaker 1: this real or is this bullshit? And so that's what
Speaker 1: we do. Plus it's another way for me, just one
Speaker 1: of my hobbies is reading these dopey studies, and so
Speaker 1: it's a way to say, hey, I'm actually working, Like
Speaker 1: when my wife says, why why are you reading those
Speaker 1: stupid studies and I say that I won't work, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm working on the podcast. That's what I'm doing, trying
Speaker 1: to find content for the podcast. I love you. You
Speaker 1: read stupid stories, and you take trips to Seattle to
Speaker 1: get away from your wife. That doesn't bode well for
Speaker 1: mrs Happy marriage. That's the way to do it. Go
Speaker 1: go a few you know, thousand miles away. That's the
Speaker 1: way to do it. So well, the first study up
Speaker 1: here the holidays upon us and said Thanksgiving, got Christmas, Hannock,
Speaker 1: Kwanza and all that coming up later in the month,
Speaker 1: and so the average person. According a new study, how
Speaker 1: long can the average person last with their family over
Speaker 1: the holidays before they reach their breaking point? Um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say five hours, So you're gonna go five hours
Speaker 1: at your final answer as my final answer, All right,
Speaker 1: you are, You're close, but not right. It's actually only
Speaker 1: four hours the average person can only last. Corner to
Speaker 1: a new survey, they reveal that a quarter of adults
Speaker 1: seek solitude in a relatives home during the holiday gatherings.
Speaker 1: Two and five people say that getting together with family
Speaker 1: for the holidays is almost always a stressful time of
Speaker 1: the year. And I know a lot of times you
Speaker 1: have to like go from house to house, Like if
Speaker 1: you're married, you've got like kids, you have to bounce
Speaker 1: that see everyone if they live near you. You know
Speaker 1: and and all that. So, but you don't have well,
Speaker 1: your family spread out, most of your wife's family that
Speaker 1: they're here in southern California, right, Yeah, like I have
Speaker 1: my my dad's the only all my other relatives live
Speaker 1: in different states. Uh. My brothers got out of California
Speaker 1: years ago. And uh and yeah, so I don't have
Speaker 1: I don't have anybody out here other my dad. But
Speaker 1: my dad doesn't drive outside of Orange County where he
Speaker 1: lives because he does not believe that he that's like
Speaker 1: a it's it's kind of like Nick Foles can't leave
Speaker 1: Philadelphia or he starts stinking. You know, my dad can't
Speaker 1: leave the o C. I don't live in Newport. He
Speaker 1: lives in a working class community. Is where he lives.
Speaker 1: All right? Um, moving on class clowns corny to news study.
Speaker 1: Most students, this is not this is not bullshit. This
Speaker 1: is accurate. I don't think I need to study for this.
Speaker 1: Most students appreciate teachers with a sense of humor about that.
Speaker 1: I believe that one. But isn't this common sense? Right?
Speaker 1: You know? What it was? In this common sense? What
Speaker 1: I mean by that is the fact that yeah, just
Speaker 1: in life and Jim, you want the one. You don't
Speaker 1: want to have a sense of humor. He's your doctor.
Speaker 1: Before you're going into an operation, you don't want your
Speaker 1: doctor to have a sense of you. You probably don't
Speaker 1: want like if you know you're you're not shooting, you
Speaker 1: don't want the police officer to be cracking jokes. But
Speaker 1: outside of those situations, humor is always the way to go, right,
Speaker 1: do you wanna do you want to pilot that's got humor? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been on like Southwest Airlines flights with little crack
Speaker 1: jokes and all that and over the p A system.
Speaker 1: But yeah, actually flying doesn't the plane fly itself? I thought,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, I've been on flights for the pilot.
Speaker 1: We've gone through some really choppy turbulence and he'll he'll
Speaker 1: come on the p A and say, well, we got
Speaker 1: lucky there, just like you gotta be shitty you right out.
Speaker 1: So I don't mind having a little bit of levity
Speaker 1: with with a doctor. But teachers, I think it comes
Speaker 1: and goes with depending on the individual. What about what
Speaker 1: what coaches were you like that with your coaches? Did
Speaker 1: you like serious coaches or well? Well, usually when I
Speaker 1: when I play. I think most teams are like this.
Speaker 1: You have the hard ass, hard oh coach, and then
Speaker 1: you it's good cop, bad cop. Right, there's always only
Speaker 1: like one coach is like the good guy that loves
Speaker 1: you and looks out for you and knows all about
Speaker 1: your life. And then there's the other hard oh that
Speaker 1: because they got a rude you know you work out.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's like that anymore, because everyone's
Speaker 1: a pussy well of these days. But that's how it
Speaker 1: was when I was playing football, and like the hard
Speaker 1: old guy, it was like just all about it, and
Speaker 1: then the other guy was like cool, mellow, you know
Speaker 1: what kind of Yeah. I found out no such thing
Speaker 1: as hell Week anymore at the prep level, and obviously
Speaker 1: you don't like that anymore of the college ranks either.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to say that I am a product
Speaker 1: of hell Week and my life has turned into hell life. There,
Speaker 1: it's all, it's all tied together. All right, we're doing
Speaker 1: study this, h what's next? Alright, let's see if you
Speaker 1: can figure out another question for Gascon and for you
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. And here it is new study out.
Speaker 1: The average person will watch how many hours of television
Speaker 1: in there lifetime. Oh man, Um, well, let's just say,
Speaker 1: for argument's sake, that an individual lives for an average
Speaker 1: of seventies six years. Alright, Um, I will say an
Speaker 1: individual watches about thirty years worth of television their entire life.
Speaker 1: How many hours with it? Um, take your time. Uh
Speaker 1: so that'll be that'll be about three hundred thousand hours. Wow. Well, you,
Speaker 1: much like Eddie Garcia on the radio show, you have
Speaker 1: ruined the question. You have gone so high. You have
Speaker 1: ruined the question. Because remember this is a survey, so
Speaker 1: there's people that don't watch that much television mixed with
Speaker 1: people that do watch a lot of television. Un those,
Speaker 1: you get the median. You get the median according to
Speaker 1: the study, once people start watching television over the course
Speaker 1: of their lives. According to a recent survey, this is
Speaker 1: what this was done in Britain, so maybe it's different
Speaker 1: in America, but the average TV viewer will watch almost
Speaker 1: seventy nine thousand hours of programming from movies, sports, news,
Speaker 1: entertainment in their lifetime. Yeah. Can you preface this question
Speaker 1: with the origin of the country, please. I think we're
Speaker 1: all the same, We're all sharing this planet, We're all
Speaker 1: the same. And we all live in the in the
Speaker 1: world of Earth, the ecosystem of Earth. You can't say
Speaker 1: no borders, no borders, guests, globalist. We're not gonna say
Speaker 1: the United States without fast food and without television, that's
Speaker 1: like to the things that we were most proud of. Well,
Speaker 1: they say that each year in the UK anyway, that
Speaker 1: on a on a daily basis, people watch three and
Speaker 1: a half hours of TV. That goes to one thousand,
Speaker 1: two hundred forty eight hours each year. I would argue
Speaker 1: that because people have other things going on, maybe like
Speaker 1: a job and they have responsibilities, that that seems about
Speaker 1: right for America. Like you, how can you really have
Speaker 1: a life where you watch more than three and a
Speaker 1: half hours of television? And I don't even think I
Speaker 1: watched that much anymore. I'm on the Internet all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm probably the internet twelve hours a day, but maybe
Speaker 1: longer than that. But I don't like the actual teller
Speaker 1: I watched TV. I guess based on the Internet. But
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, but NFL Sundays, you're watching at least
Speaker 1: nine hours with the content. Okay, yeah, but I'm not
Speaker 1: like on a Wednesday. I mean I might I'll watch
Speaker 1: I'll flip around some NBA games at night, but that's
Speaker 1: part of the job. Baseball season, baseball season. Uh you
Speaker 1: know again, but it's I'm looking for content for the show.
Speaker 1: So it's not like, um, you know, for my entertainment minute,
Speaker 1: I'm a renaissance. Well and we're a fraction of the
Speaker 1: of the country that it's actually a sports fan. So
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people binge watch HBO, Netflix, Showtime, Hulu,
Speaker 1: all of these networks are created so people just sit
Speaker 1: and watch, sit and watch. I think the numbers Wait,
Speaker 1: I think the numbers doubled here in the United States
Speaker 1: the one it is in the UK. Alright, well, let's uh,
Speaker 1: I disagree that. Let's let's move on the survey because
Speaker 1: double would mean that would mean seven hours a day
Speaker 1: of television. Again, I don't think it's another study. Slash
Speaker 1: survey reveals the age that many people give up working out,
Speaker 1: that they throw in the towel, they quit, They show
Speaker 1: no one bad ambition, They say that see I'm done,
Speaker 1: I'm out of here, see you later. Is this here
Speaker 1: in the United States? Yes, this is here in the
Speaker 1: United I'm gonna long Americans, man, I'm gonna go low
Speaker 1: in this, I'm gonna say twenty three. Uh no, like
Speaker 1: my gut tells me forty one, but I say twenty three.
Speaker 1: I know that is incorrect. Uh, what was your good
Speaker 1: what did you get tell? Oh, so you looked at
Speaker 1: the story. I didn't look at the story. It's cheated
Speaker 1: because the numbers forty one cheating that. I had those
Speaker 1: two thoughts because one here, we're in southern California, so
Speaker 1: I think California, I think New York. I think Massachusetts,
Speaker 1: in Florida and probably Texas lead away an exercise, but
Speaker 1: everywhere else in the middle of the country not so much.
Speaker 1: They're not going to the twenty four hour Jim after work. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They claim the most common barrier was not having time
Speaker 1: sided their schedule as the main reason why they stopped
Speaker 1: working out. And many of these people said that they
Speaker 1: could not work out because they were too old to
Speaker 1: get back to the gym, and uh, they should go
Speaker 1: to the gym. I go to everyone's a million years old.
Speaker 1: I'm like the youngest person there, and I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm kind of old now. So, Uh, there's a lot
Speaker 1: in the morning, there's a lot of like older people
Speaker 1: that work out. That's what I've I've noticed, but it
Speaker 1: is one of those things if you don't. If you stop,
Speaker 1: it's hard to start again, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you gotta keep going or otherwise you'll just find
Speaker 1: any reason to cut corners. Like I've got to have
Speaker 1: a turkey sandwich on Wednesday at noon. I don't think
Speaker 1: I can work out that day because I gotta, you know,
Speaker 1: be okay to pick up my turkey. So I don't
Speaker 1: know about you, but if I don't work out, then
Speaker 1: everything else falls off the cliff, Like diet falls off
Speaker 1: the cliff. I eat ship, I drink bad, I don't
Speaker 1: sleep like it's just it's the dominoes that fall. So
Speaker 1: if I don't exercisee then everything else just I compound
Speaker 1: the problem by not doing anything else healthy and then
Speaker 1: it leads to some bad things obviously with with the
Speaker 1: work not being sharp or whatever it may be. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to do it. I need to work out,
Speaker 1: which well, my my problem is that I when I
Speaker 1: don't work out, even if I missed like a couple
Speaker 1: of days, I think every time I eat something, I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna gave like a hundred pounds from eating
Speaker 1: you know, bag of chips or something like that, because
Speaker 1: I have this mental uh illness that when it comes
Speaker 1: to that kind of stuff, like I work out. If
Speaker 1: I don't work out, it's gonna be a nightmare. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm moving on. Another study will do a few more
Speaker 1: of these. Study finds that mental practice makes you better
Speaker 1: at sinking pluts, not actually putting, but practicing in your
Speaker 1: head is apparently just as important to Coin to his
Speaker 1: study as getting in reps at the local putting green
Speaker 1: and I don't golf very often, guess go on, but
Speaker 1: when I do, I am good. I am good. But
Speaker 1: they're they're in Their study says that mental practice uh
Speaker 1: observe Asian motor imagery actually enhances the ability to successfully
Speaker 1: make punts. This rio bullshit. I think it's bullshit. I
Speaker 1: think because couldn't she translate that into anything else baseball?
Speaker 1: It's a combination. I don't. It's total bullshit. Didn't Kurt
Speaker 1: Gibson in the nine World? Seriously he visualized hitting a
Speaker 1: home run? Didn't he say that? Yeah? But he was
Speaker 1: also hitting off of a t in the cages underneath
Speaker 1: before he went out there. Yeah, he's I mean, and
Speaker 1: he all start would imagine he all gotta believe you
Speaker 1: can do it. Though he also knew the pitch that
Speaker 1: was coming. He knew was a backdoor slide on the count.
Speaker 1: The scattered report said that for Rectorssly, he still had
Speaker 1: to hit it. Yeah, but he knew it was coming.
Speaker 1: If you can telegraph a pitch, I think there's something
Speaker 1: to this year, because you know, when I when I
Speaker 1: get ready for the radio show, I mentally think the
Speaker 1: show is gonna be good. I walked my head through
Speaker 1: the show and try to get there. That's yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: I'm a perfectionist. As you know, a type A, you're
Speaker 1: a Type B. I'm a Type A. I'm an Alpha,
Speaker 1: You're an omega. But do you visualize that as you're
Speaker 1: looking at your stacks of paper for the show or
Speaker 1: is it something that you just you know. I know
Speaker 1: you like working with people that don't do prep and
Speaker 1: you like to showing up. But I'm a prepared man.
Speaker 1: I learned from Lee hack Saw Hamilton's when I was
Speaker 1: an intern that you must be prepared at all times.
Speaker 1: You cannot be dependent on the callers. You cannot, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: be dependent on your co workers to help uh, and
Speaker 1: so you have to be prepared just in case, just
Speaker 1: in case you're on an island like Tom Hanks and
Speaker 1: you're deserted by you, by yourself there outside of me,
Speaker 1: who's your most reliable colleague? Well, you are not on
Speaker 1: the reliable list because you provided audio that was out
Speaker 1: of a fish bowl or a baby monitor last week.
Speaker 1: So you're on my ship list right now. It's a
Speaker 1: great fodder for the show, though, uh, you know it's not.
Speaker 1: It's a great conversation starter. Outside of that, I mean
Speaker 1: there's some people that are occasionally reliable, but I don't
Speaker 1: know all the time reliable. I mean there's some people
Speaker 1: that are run hot and cold. As they say. We'll
Speaker 1: let the record reflect. Ben Mallard does not want to
Speaker 1: praise anyone that's on his show. Well, no, I could
Speaker 1: praise Roberto. I mean just Cooking with Roberto is a
Speaker 1: fascinating segment of radio. It's a wonderful weather with Roberto.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't love the Mexican Doppler? Everyone I can't get
Speaker 1: enough of that except you. All right, another study here
Speaker 1: the healthiest people in the world. What have I told you?
Speaker 1: They have something in common here? They don't go to
Speaker 1: the gym. How about that? I believe it. Those shots
Speaker 1: that you take at people in the Midwest, the flyover
Speaker 1: states that they go to the gym. Well, this is
Speaker 1: in your face, guest Gut. I think it's the people
Speaker 1: that are either in Africa or like in Europe. Well
Speaker 1: they say they they the people that look at this
Speaker 1: stuff say that they have blue zones, the world's blue
Speaker 1: zones where they have the light highest life expectancy. And
Speaker 1: they determined that in all these places on the globe,
Speaker 1: there's no gym there. There's no l a Fitness or
Speaker 1: twenty four hour Fitness or Gold's gym, there's none of them.
Speaker 1: There's no weights, nobody's running marathons, nobody's joining hot yoga
Speaker 1: classes or spin classes or any of that. These people
Speaker 1: just live in places where they constantly have to be moving. Yeah,
Speaker 1: right now in Japan, Italy, Costa Rica, Greece, Loma Loma, Linda, California.
Speaker 1: That's odd. Yeah, but these people like grow gardens. They
Speaker 1: walk through the day and they do small, small movements.
Speaker 1: But just moving naturally throughout the day is the key, supposedly.
Speaker 1: But did you see that stat in the story here
Speaker 1: that they said that a hundred years ago, only ten
Speaker 1: percent of people had a sedentary job. So I can
Speaker 1: you go back to nineteen nineteen, only ten percent of
Speaker 1: people had a sedentary job. Today it's nine percent of
Speaker 1: people sit on their ass and that's their gig. That's awful,
Speaker 1: And I'm included now, we're included to the station. But
Speaker 1: you're laying down though, when you do your show's sitting
Speaker 1: down like truck drivers and do that or Roberto or
Speaker 1: Coop or Eddie. You you lay down, your feet kicked
Speaker 1: up on the on the studio tabletops. You better we're
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. Well, I like to be comfortable and
Speaker 1: I like to be relatable something that you don't know about.
Speaker 1: But I believe in the onward and upward strategies. What
Speaker 1: I believe in here and that is my philosophy on
Speaker 1: all this dot com. Check it out. Yeah that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Al right, bye bye birdie. A new study finds that
Speaker 1: in North America, this is from the environmentalist guest gun,
Speaker 1: birds are getting smaller and they are blaming climate change
Speaker 1: about that. They say that birds are shrinking in size
Speaker 1: according to a new study. Now, I have not noticed this.
Speaker 1: I have not I see plenty of birds around and
Speaker 1: I have not noticed that they're smaller birds at all.
Speaker 1: But they seem convinced that it's all because of the
Speaker 1: evil human beings that the birds are smaller. Now do
Speaker 1: you buy that? Guesscount you believe that the birds have
Speaker 1: decided to go lean and mean? Now? And is that
Speaker 1: a bad thing? Why we always fat shame big people?
Speaker 1: So maybe it's good the birds have decided to lose
Speaker 1: and weight and get a little smaller. How about that?
Speaker 1: I don't believe it. Yeah, I'm skeptical about this also,
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many, so many goddamn birds, all right,
Speaker 1: how the hell are you going to do in an
Speaker 1: actual study that determines, you know, and plus it's the
Speaker 1: entire you go for. I know, birds flock and go around,
Speaker 1: but you know the birds and are the birds in
Speaker 1: Minnesota the smaller the same size as they are in
Speaker 1: Kansas City, or you know, go down to Nashville or
Speaker 1: uh you know, Maryetta Georgia. I mean, come on, what
Speaker 1: are you gonna be? Was it an ornithologist? That's what
Speaker 1: it is? So studies birds? I don't know. You should
Speaker 1: know what it is that you usually pluck out your
Speaker 1: word of the day and use it and implemented in
Speaker 1: one of your shows. I used to do that, but
Speaker 1: that died like five years ago. Thanks for listening, big
Speaker 1: fan of the show. Do well, that's why don't we
Speaker 1: close out to study this on this particular question. Uh?
Speaker 1: And a new study finds that the people that are
Speaker 1: the worst gift givers in your life are are blank?
Speaker 1: Like who in your life is the worst? The wealthiest?
Speaker 1: That's they say that coworkers and in laws are the
Speaker 1: worst gift givers. Quite your new study. I can agree
Speaker 1: with co workers. Yeah, I've gotten some real ship gifts
Speaker 1: from co workers. Like half asked, why would you expect
Speaker 1: a gift from a coworker anyway? Well, we used to
Speaker 1: do like Secret Santa and things like that. But there's
Speaker 1: just a giant wage gap between you and everyone else
Speaker 1: that works on your show, like three million dollars to
Speaker 1: minimum wage. How does that compute? Right, It's unbelievable. But
Speaker 1: I wouldn't I wouldn't take offense to a co worker
Speaker 1: giving me any kind of gift. Like Jonas Knox does
Speaker 1: a fun little gig every year during Christmas where he
Speaker 1: goes to the liquor store he gets scratchers for the
Speaker 1: entire team. Yeah, so I think that's kind of cool.
Speaker 1: I'm not asking for a lot, or I wouldn't expect
Speaker 1: a lot of Jonas does that, but he expects you,
Speaker 1: if you actually win, to share the sugar. So what
Speaker 1: so what? I would do the same thing, though, I
Speaker 1: would if I want to kick down a little something
Speaker 1: for for you on the bottom of the ticket. Why not?
Speaker 1: Do you think Jonas is gonna show up at the
Speaker 1: Ugly Sweater Party? No, no, definitely not. It's too far.
Speaker 1: It's not working. This is the first year I believe
Speaker 1: he's not working. He usually works the night of the
Speaker 1: Ugly Sweater Party. But he's actually not working, so he
Speaker 1: could technically attend. Although it's like driving from like l
Speaker 1: A to San Francisco as from where I lived to
Speaker 1: him or Vegas from You know, I've done that drive.
Speaker 1: It sucks. I've done the drive. I've done the l
Speaker 1: A San Francisco drive. You do that a lot. You
Speaker 1: do the l A Sacramento drive. Like have eclipsed a
Speaker 1: hundred fifty thousand miles on my car, Ben, I have
Speaker 1: owned the car for five years. Is that bad? Wow?
Speaker 1: How about you? Occasionally this thing is called rental cars.
Speaker 1: You can leave the mileage off your car, and that
Speaker 1: way you hold onto your car's value. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: a better job of It's too late now you might
Speaker 1: as well just keep driving the thing into the ground.
Speaker 1: Maybe I should paint the car teal and just make
Speaker 1: it look as shitty as possible to match the mileage
Speaker 1: on it. How about that you could? You could do that,
Speaker 1: and maybe you'd have a entertainment pop culture legend like
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey say how beautiful your car looks, and that
Speaker 1: I like that color. By the way, have you gotten
Speaker 1: any kind of comments yet from Kenny Albert or for
Speaker 1: many of your ESPN colleagues on the East coast that
Speaker 1: watched our our broadcasts a couple of weeks ago. No,
Speaker 1: I have not heard from anyone. Wonder why is the
Speaker 1: game was fifty six to nothing. Maybe that's why they
Speaker 1: didn't know that going in. Remember stats tell you what happened,
Speaker 1: not what's gonna happen. All right, thank you? All right? Anyway,
Speaker 1: Here are the the I'm a list of the ten
Speaker 1: actual worst gifts that you can get over the holidays.
Speaker 1: You want to take a guess at some of these here.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna this for adults, are for kids too. I
Speaker 1: think it's mostly for adults. Like, okay, so worst of
Speaker 1: what I got to say this any kind of exercise
Speaker 1: equipment or a gym membership did not make the list.
Speaker 1: Did not make the list. I don't see it on here. Wow,
Speaker 1: I know people are getting here for that pelotonin. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so stupid. Alcohol but with no lives on the
Speaker 1: internet that losers that get complained and run around looking
Speaker 1: for things to complain about. Alcohol is on the list.
Speaker 1: Liquor is number six on the list. Liquor socks. Socks
Speaker 1: is number three, all right, number three? How about underwear? Underwear?
Speaker 1: I don't see it on here, only because I think
Speaker 1: people most most people don't give other strangers underwear. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I like it. Ever, know, well,
Speaker 1: you you're a unique anyone on special case study. I
Speaker 1: know you, Um you love the underwear. How about movie passes?
Speaker 1: Uh no, let's let me just give you the let's
Speaker 1: just boring. Uh. Number ten is coffee. These are the actual,
Speaker 1: according to this, the worst gifts you can get. Number
Speaker 1: ten is coffee. Number nine is a photo calendar. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like if somebody else's family or something, or even if
Speaker 1: it's just a generic photo count. Number eight is a candle,
Speaker 1: all right, can you imagine getting a candle? Oh good,
Speaker 1: I get to burn it and then I can throw
Speaker 1: out the Look at Number seven is t you got
Speaker 1: Number six liquor? Number five a coffee mugs A terrible gift.
Speaker 1: Number four is a collection of lotions. Wow, take that
Speaker 1: for what you want. Number three is socks. Number two
Speaker 1: popcorn and the number one worst gift according to this study,
Speaker 1: shower gel is the worst gift that you can get. Now,
Speaker 1: it would it be in bad taste if you've got
Speaker 1: someone popcorn with movie tickets, well, that would be the
Speaker 1: gascon package, right, that would be you know, throwing a
Speaker 1: candle on top there, candle in the wind and all
Speaker 1: that little ocean people massage during the movie. Come down,
Speaker 1: feed some popcorn. I'm sure you'd love the feeding. Very romantic,
Speaker 1: So do the Charleston. We'll move on to the Charles is.
Speaker 1: My new favorite college in the United States is in
Speaker 1: the state of South Carolina. It is not Clemson, It
Speaker 1: is not the game Cocks of South Carolina. I am
Speaker 1: now a massive fan of the College of Charleston. Their
Speaker 1: mascot there there there there teams are called the Cougar.
Speaker 1: So the cougars are coming. The cougars are coming. You
Speaker 1: now why gascon am I now the biggest fan of
Speaker 1: the College of Charles. Everyone loves Cougars, but I don't
Speaker 1: know why. So tell me why, all right? So I
Speaker 1: am a very proud uncle. My niece just announced this
Speaker 1: last week that you know, she lives in New York.
Speaker 1: I don't see her very often. She lives in Manhattan,
Speaker 1: but she has been accepted. Next year she will start
Speaker 1: at that fine institution, the College of Charleston. Sided there
Speaker 1: in the Colonial Athletic Associate their rivals. I looked it
Speaker 1: up because I was like, who's arrivals Now that I'm
Speaker 1: a fan of the College of Charleston, they played Delaware, Drexel, Hofstra,
Speaker 1: James Madison, William and Mary and a bunch of other
Speaker 1: schools like that, and this schools like they was founded
Speaker 1: in the in seventeen seventy like the people that founded
Speaker 1: it signed in the future. They signed the Declaration of
Speaker 1: Independence and the Constitution. About that. That's pretty nice. Out
Speaker 1: of state tuition ben twenty nine thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good. My brother is doing pretty well. Apparently
Speaker 1: that's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty goody nine grand a year. Wow, congratulations,
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm excited about that. I'm trying to find
Speaker 1: a College of Charleston hat. They don't have it in
Speaker 1: my size, though, so I don't get a smaller hat.
Speaker 1: So it's I'm looking. If you find a link, somebody
Speaker 1: send me an email, because I have a size eight
Speaker 1: have t head, big brain, big head, and I've been
Speaker 1: unable to find a size eight College of Charleston hats.
Speaker 1: Are you excepted? Though she's attending a public, liberal arts school,
Speaker 1: you're excited about that? I don't know. I'm happy for
Speaker 1: she wanted to go there, that was her true I
Speaker 1: don't know why she shows. Maybe she's a big Yankee fan.
Speaker 1: You know, Brett Gardner went there. You know what. Yeah,
Speaker 1: institution of higher learning in the United States that says
Speaker 1: number thirteen. That's pretty good. Good luck to her. I'm
Speaker 1: sure she'll be overwhelmed with propaganda on how to hate everything,
Speaker 1: and that's not what you're do in college these days.
Speaker 1: It depends saces. Yeah, you know, not at Saddleback Community College,
Speaker 1: but Saddleback they teach you, you you know, men to be men. Yeah,
Speaker 1: women and we women all right time now for the
Speaker 1: grab bag. These are actual questions from actual listeners like yourself.
Speaker 1: The first one is from Jason in rock Mountain, a
Speaker 1: Rocky Mountain, Virginia. He says, Ben is gascon as big
Speaker 1: a priss as he sounds. All right, Uh, let's see
Speaker 1: here priss or prick? No, he said PRIs. It's pr
Speaker 1: I s as I was, you know, short for prissy, right,
Speaker 1: which is I think the definition of that let's see here. Uh,
Speaker 1: the definition would be be what, uh, let's see here
Speaker 1: someone fussy acting in a fussy often used with kind
Speaker 1: just annoying. I guess no, it's not it's yeah, yes, no,
Speaker 1: not at all. I don't complain. I don't bitch and moan.
Speaker 1: You complain all the time. You don't even realize you're complaining,
Speaker 1: do you think so? I I just listen, go back
Speaker 1: and listen. I know the last week you couldn't hear
Speaker 1: it because it was recorded in a fish bowl, But
Speaker 1: go back and listen. I have, unfortunately with my car
Speaker 1: now is every time I turned my car on with
Speaker 1: my bluetooth and my phone and automatically drops in the
Speaker 1: fifth out with Ben mallar onto my on my stereo system.
Speaker 1: So it's auditing. Yeah, it's good. It's absolutely amazing to
Speaker 1: ramp up those numbers. No, not not prissy at all. Absolutely, Jason,
Speaker 1: you nailed it. You know who this guy is, Keith
Speaker 1: writes in Keith does not say where he's from. He says,
Speaker 1: when you talk into a tin can, what brand does
Speaker 1: guesscon prefer when recording the podcast? Does he like a
Speaker 1: chili can or a can of corn chili? Of course,
Speaker 1: so that last week's podcast was recorded on a chili can.
Speaker 1: I don't think it was that bad though. I think
Speaker 1: it made I think it made for a great conversation
Speaker 1: on the radio, and I think people are really intrigued
Speaker 1: about what's going to happen next, which is here said
Speaker 1: now all right, moving on, and this one is from
Speaker 1: let's see here. I didn't write down who this person
Speaker 1: is from. I guess they don't want publicity. Is there
Speaker 1: a better Ben mallor show memory than back in the
Speaker 1: day when Sha La La La la, Larry Brown Ell
Speaker 1: asleep at the news desk during an update That is
Speaker 1: one of the great moments in show history. When we
Speaker 1: did a top of the hour update, we tossed to
Speaker 1: our newsman and did he get fired for that. No, no,
Speaker 1: the board op had to run in and kind of
Speaker 1: wake him up, and then no one was listening, so
Speaker 1: he was. It was on the weekend overnight show. That
Speaker 1: was a wild time. But we've I mean, there's have
Speaker 1: been crazy things that have happened on this show, uh,
Speaker 1: for for years. I would say the craziest, one of
Speaker 1: the craziest that is underestimated is the time that I
Speaker 1: walked out of the studio before the show to call
Speaker 1: into a different show to have privacy, and this guy starts, hell,
Speaker 1: are you on the radio and starts cursing at me,
Speaker 1: and he says, I'm Henry Hill. I'm Henry fucking Hill,
Speaker 1: and I have something to say. I want to be
Speaker 1: on the radio right now. If for those that don't know,
Speaker 1: you know who Henry Hill is, right, guest gar Yeah, Uh,
Speaker 1: he's like killed people. Anyway, I thought it was just
Speaker 1: some homeless guy and I just you know, I said,
Speaker 1: I know, I'm not on the radio, I said, walked
Speaker 1: out of the radio station and walked back into the
Speaker 1: radio station. He starts banging on the door that's out
Speaker 1: on Uh it's a pulvida. Starts banging on the door
Speaker 1: right to get in, and I was like, oh, this
Speaker 1: guy is full of ship. And then I went on
Speaker 1: Google and I looked and there was a photo of
Speaker 1: Henry Hill and hand the God. It was Henry Hill.
Speaker 1: Henry Hill was drunk. And this is years. He died
Speaker 1: a long time ago. He died probably about ten years ago.
Speaker 1: But he is the guy whose life story was the
Speaker 1: what I think is one of the greatest movies of
Speaker 1: all the time, one of my top five movies, Good Fellas,
Speaker 1: and and and he like, you know, he did all
Speaker 1: this terrible stuff. And but but he was in the
Speaker 1: Witness Protection program and he lived just in in the
Speaker 1: area where we broadcast from in Los Angeles, and apparently
Speaker 1: he has had a little too much to drink that
Speaker 1: night and he wanted to get on the radio and
Speaker 1: he was wild. Man. That was a freaky night when
Speaker 1: I looked at that photo and I'm on the internet
Speaker 1: and it was him, Like, holy crap, what was this
Speaker 1: like at three o'clock in the morning or four, No,
Speaker 1: it was actually around midnight. It was around midness. It
Speaker 1: wasn't even late in the show. It's kind of earlier
Speaker 1: in the ship, maybe even a little earlier than that.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, he's wandering around and all that part
Speaker 1: of the Uh was it the Cheesie crime family? Is
Speaker 1: that right? Or something you would have that would have
Speaker 1: been your best guests ever on your show? I mean
Speaker 1: the guests on your show have been really been poor.
Speaker 1: I'll tell Fred Dryer you don't think much of his work?
Speaker 1: Please please do? Yeah, very kind of you. Moving on
Speaker 1: a Dale from Lancaster City, Pennsylvania, says that's an Amish country.
Speaker 1: It's been tell weed Man Hippie to get ahold of me.
Speaker 1: I have a place he can stay with a few
Speaker 1: Amish folks that's from from Dale. Uh yeah, I think
Speaker 1: weed Man would do well in Amish country, right, although
Speaker 1: he wouldn't be able to use his Obama phone. I
Speaker 1: don't think that would be a problem. Yeah, definitely not.
Speaker 1: Mois is from Denver Rights and he says, Ben, I
Speaker 1: know your time off is coming up. So are the
Speaker 1: new intros? Have you given them to Eddie yet to practice?
Speaker 1: And what is his punishment if he laughs at them? Yeah? Uh,
Speaker 1: thank you, Moses. You have a good memory. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: every year when I go on my sabbatical, I write
Speaker 1: some new what they're called rejoins for the show. A right,
Speaker 1: some new rejoins the show, and I'll write a few
Speaker 1: of those out, because you know I usually does that,
Speaker 1: but not on our show. I have to do everything
Speaker 1: that's one man band, so I have to write these out.
Speaker 1: And so I guess it's hard to come up with
Speaker 1: these every year, and I don't want to repeat things
Speaker 1: I've used in the past, so I try to keep
Speaker 1: it fresh. Probably should do it every every other month,
Speaker 1: but we do it once a year clean house. And
Speaker 1: so I have to rewrite all these things, and I
Speaker 1: have to put the copy down, and then I gave
Speaker 1: it to Eddie last year and he proceeded to mock
Speaker 1: and laugh my work. Right, I mean, how how unprofessional.
Speaker 1: That's like something you would do, some kind of quackery
Speaker 1: that you would do. I guess I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I do think that You're You're Open needs to be
Speaker 1: tweaked and adjusted now as well. Oh, we we've not
Speaker 1: gotten many new opens. They're kind of settled into the open. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I think I think Danny g is still in the
Speaker 1: open of the show. No, no, not. He hasn't been
Speaker 1: on the show and over two years. I think. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me rephrase you're welcome to the show. When you
Speaker 1: come on the air with your welcome, it needs to
Speaker 1: be tweaked a little bit. What's wrong with what I do?
Speaker 1: That's my that's my signature catch rage. I can't change that.
Speaker 1: But you used emanating for the last year, year and
Speaker 1: a half. I think what you need to say. I've
Speaker 1: used emanating for longer than that you have. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: used it. I haven't been listening that long. Then, well,
Speaker 1: that's an homage to my friend who's the public address
Speaker 1: announcer for the Lakers. You need to, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: mix it up. I think you should use radiating. Radiating.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, it's perfect for you. We are we
Speaker 1: are radiating live Fox Sports Radio studios. You can do illuminating.
Speaker 1: You could do that too. Those are good. It's perfect
Speaker 1: for you. Eleven to three o'clock. Yeah, we mean yeah,
Speaker 1: you know. People are used to it. They get upset
Speaker 1: when they change. They don't want change. Like they didn't
Speaker 1: want to hear the podcast recorded on the Baby Monitor
Speaker 1: last week. But you're so playful that you did that.
Speaker 1: They don't want to hear that. Listen. You've got two
Speaker 1: words for them. Funck off adapted overcome, Ben, that's wrong
Speaker 1: with these people. They like what I understand. You're not
Speaker 1: taking away from the audience by adding more to it. Alright,
Speaker 1: moving on here, I'm always know the customer. The customers
Speaker 1: always right, Derek from Boston. Right. So I feel like
Speaker 1: we've had this question before, Derek. He says, you guys
Speaker 1: consider pro video games a sport. What are your thoughts
Speaker 1: on pro e sports? Well, Derek, not as a sport
Speaker 1: like I grew up, like a sport I grew up.
Speaker 1: You have to Actually, I think of playing video games
Speaker 1: kind of like chess. Is chess a sport? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? For some people it is? Is poker
Speaker 1: a sport? It's a mental Mentally, it's very difficult. But
Speaker 1: as I always say, guess I am an opportunist, and
Speaker 1: I see there is a lot of money in in
Speaker 1: gaming and I would not mind stepping up and giving
Speaker 1: a shot doing play by play on like a Call
Speaker 1: of Duty tournament or something like that, because I think
Speaker 1: you used many of the sports castor cliche type things
Speaker 1: when you're doing these I've seen some of these broadcasts
Speaker 1: just flipped over for a couple of seconds on YouTube
Speaker 1: or whatever, and they use a lot of the same
Speaker 1: lingo that like al Michael's and Collinsworth would use on
Speaker 1: a football game. You know what I'm saying, I Uh,
Speaker 1: guys are making hundreds and thousands of dollars even millions
Speaker 1: of dollars playing video games, and it is it's astronomical
Speaker 1: the amount of money that's being used by people to
Speaker 1: obviously produce these games, to broadcast them. And then there's
Speaker 1: just tons of people not just here in the United
Speaker 1: States but worldwide that actually will sit down and watch
Speaker 1: people playing video games. It is that's the part that's
Speaker 1: amazing to be like kids instead of doing would rather
Speaker 1: watch like I when I was a kid. Maybe I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: but my memory where our memories are not always accurate,
Speaker 1: but when I was a kid, I always would I
Speaker 1: always remembered I'm wanting to do stuff, you know, and
Speaker 1: I I wanted to play baseball. I think I love
Speaker 1: playing baseball, but I would rather play and I would
Speaker 1: spend hours throwing the tennis ball against the garage right
Speaker 1: rather than watching. Again, I occasionally watched games, but I
Speaker 1: was most I wanted to play and if I watched
Speaker 1: the game, I then wanted to go out and play
Speaker 1: more and mimic what I saw on television always the case. Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: all right, moving on here, let's see any MENI money mo.
Speaker 1: Eugene from Springfield mis series is, why aren't large scale
Speaker 1: pinball tournaments broadcast on television? I don't know, I I
Speaker 1: if they could get an audience, Eugene, they put an
Speaker 1: They put anything on TV if people will watch. Right,
Speaker 1: there's there's plenty of shelf space at television stations. So
Speaker 1: they do. That guy in Miami rights since says, is
Speaker 1: Ryan Tannhill living off unicorn blood? Sure? Why not? That
Speaker 1: sounds it to me. Uh. This one's from Mike, the
Speaker 1: airplane mechanic in Oregon. He says, So who is worse?
Speaker 1: The cheating Cardinals or the cheating Astros. Now this is
Speaker 1: a mind numbing question and mind bending question, I should say.
Speaker 1: And I never thought that the cheating Cardinals could be topped.
Speaker 1: But the Astros have done it. Bang bang, Uh. The
Speaker 1: Astros have done it. The whistle, the buzzers, the light show,
Speaker 1: all of that. They have gone above and beyond the
Speaker 1: call duty. And I'm starting to share. I'm starting to
Speaker 1: show some empathy for that fired Cardinals scouting director who
Speaker 1: was banned for life. Who said the reason he went
Speaker 1: into the astros computer internal commuter system and hacked it
Speaker 1: was because the Astros had done that. And we're stealing
Speaker 1: stuff from the Cardinals, and based on the actions of
Speaker 1: the Houston Astros, I think the guy is right. How
Speaker 1: about that? So screw the Astros done, throw them out
Speaker 1: of baseball, make them change their nickname, and and they're
Speaker 1: done to me. They're dead to me. But don't forget
Speaker 1: they were taking for a while. They're on the verge
Speaker 1: of being sold. I hate that. Also, I hate I
Speaker 1: hate the tanking. You know, I don't like tanking. I
Speaker 1: can't stand tanking. It's it's it's an illness, tanking. And
Speaker 1: through the tanking, tank tank tank tank tank suck suck, suck, suck, suck.
Speaker 1: All right, Uh, what are meetings are right around the corner? Well,
Speaker 1: I I like the I don't mind the winter meetings.
Speaker 1: Is that's gossip. I love the gossip. But Debbie for Minneapolis, right,
Speaker 1: since she says you listen every morning but does not
Speaker 1: have the guts to call in, Debbie, listen to me.
Speaker 1: All right. I know you had a question about the vikings,
Speaker 1: but that's boring. So I'm gonna help you out, Debbie.
Speaker 1: All right, ninety nine point nine percent of people that
Speaker 1: listen to a radio show never called the show, and
Speaker 1: I don't blame you. That's why occasionally we do a
Speaker 1: newbie night, try to get some new people to call in.
Speaker 1: But like normally, if you're listening to a radio show,
Speaker 1: you're you're either working or you're doing something else. You're
Speaker 1: not solely focused on the show, and you're distracted, and
Speaker 1: you don't have the time to stay on hold. And yeah,
Speaker 1: these people that call up, there's a long wait time
Speaker 1: usually to get on the air, you know, depending on
Speaker 1: what's going on during the show. We a lot of
Speaker 1: content and all that. So I would not feel bad
Speaker 1: about not not calling the show. I don't think you
Speaker 1: should either. I mean, part of the reason why listeners
Speaker 1: don't calling either is because, like you mentioned, the hold
Speaker 1: is long. But then they try to bring in a
Speaker 1: point and you immediately cut them off or up, and
Speaker 1: it's it's just I'm with Debbie here on this one.
Speaker 1: Don't call the show. In fact, you don't even need
Speaker 1: to listen to it. Listen to the podcast every Friday,
Speaker 1: and that's it. That should be your filth for the
Speaker 1: rest of the week. It's very helpful, guest, gun. You
Speaker 1: really know how to grow the audience. And I would
Speaker 1: like to see our numbers. I am. We are less
Speaker 1: than two hundred people following are our our Facebook page
Speaker 1: from getting to ten thousand, which is pretty good because
Speaker 1: we don't promote the Facebook page very much. We don't
Speaker 1: so and I think we're like three hundred away, three
Speaker 1: hundred likes from getting to ten thousand, which is you know,
Speaker 1: we love round numbers, right, human beings love round numbers,
Speaker 1: and so I can certainly round up and say we're
Speaker 1: at ten thousand, but it would be nice to actually
Speaker 1: get to ten thousand. So what I'm trying to tell
Speaker 1: you is if you have some friends or whatnot enemies
Speaker 1: and haven't followed the show, just tell him, hey, help
Speaker 1: help my guy. Mallarot, the guy that had spats with Shatts,
Speaker 1: helped him out, you know that whole thing. No, Patricia
Speaker 1: writes and says, Ben, will it sound better this week?
Speaker 1: Last week it sounded like Gascon wasn't near the microphone.
Speaker 1: It echoed a lot. Yeah, it's more criticism from I
Speaker 1: think she I think she missed my voice and uh
Speaker 1: that Vegas I don't think she missed your voice at
Speaker 1: to pat him back, she she was correct on where
Speaker 1: my audio was coming from. I think Patricia's she's pointing
Speaker 1: out that she's she's not gonna she's a consumer, that
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna listen to crappy audios. She's like saying, hey, stupids,
Speaker 1: why don't you get some good audioce I think you
Speaker 1: just want to hear more clarity in my voice, and
Speaker 1: I can appreciate that. We could talk about that any
Speaker 1: night at the Venetian of the Bellagia if you like, well,
Speaker 1: we should go to Vegas and time. Patricia, not you
Speaker 1: and think I've been to Vegas in a while. I
Speaker 1: gotta go to Vegas. Yeah, that's true. That's gonna put
Speaker 1: some money down a Vegas road trip in a while.
Speaker 1: I have not have one of your listeners pay for that.
Speaker 1: How about that? If you're having them pay for everything? Wow? Wow,
Speaker 1: I didn't have anyone do it. I didn't ask anyone
Speaker 1: to do this. It's an active chair. It's rude to
Speaker 1: turn people down that want to give you stuff. Set
Speaker 1: up a go fund Me account for that account. I
Speaker 1: was contacted by a senior Malle Militiaman in Seattle, who said,
Speaker 1: we want you to be here. We think this thing
Speaker 1: is gonna be off the hook if you're there, and
Speaker 1: if you're not there, it's not gonna be that big
Speaker 1: a deal. Nauseating, and I said, all right, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm a man of the people again. I'm not some pompous,
Speaker 1: arrogant guy. I don't mind hanging out with listeners. This
Speaker 1: will be the first year Gascon now that I have
Speaker 1: the plane ticket that I've done in two different time
Speaker 1: zones of meet and greet, because we didn't want in
Speaker 1: Boston back in April, and now this one will be
Speaker 1: in Seattle by coastal About that boom you did want
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago and big Bakersfield, didn't you? We? Well,
Speaker 1: we did. That was That was a disaster. That was
Speaker 1: That was much like the podcast last week. The quality
Speaker 1: of that appearance was left a lot to be desired, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: although the highlight was the guy air Force, the Air
Speaker 1: Force guy that got kicked out of the stadium and
Speaker 1: then tried to sneak back in by turning his like
Speaker 1: his jersey inside out or whatever. Remember that was Remember
Speaker 1: that air Force Air Force Andrew, Yeah, air Force Andrew
Speaker 1: all right, what do we have? What's left we have?
Speaker 1: Don't stick to sports stories of the week. What do
Speaker 1: we have? Hygiene wise? Have you ever bleached your teeth? Uh?
Speaker 1: I don't think I have, but I will tell you
Speaker 1: that my wife has given me some weird crap to
Speaker 1: put on my teeth. So maybe I had, okay, weird
Speaker 1: crap and she putting what are they stripped? The h Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I've done the strip thing and over that. But
Speaker 1: I finally had my my I had not taken care
Speaker 1: of my teeth for a while, but I went to
Speaker 1: the dentist and they acid washed my What are you
Speaker 1: doing meth or something? No, I was just too busy,
Speaker 1: you know, for fuck's sake. Anyways, this mother has claimed
Speaker 1: that her gums were left severely burned. She's in Ireland. Um,
Speaker 1: she actually went in to go see her dentist for
Speaker 1: a cleaning and then to get her teeth whitened. Well,
Speaker 1: it turned out that the whitening was so harsh on
Speaker 1: her gums that not only did it burn her teeth,
Speaker 1: but it burned her gums and ben she wasn't having
Speaker 1: just the front and back of her top teeth, uh whitened.
Speaker 1: It was the bottom as well top four teeth in
Speaker 1: front all burned up, so her gum line looks like
Speaker 1: it's black and blue, like a broken nose, just forgetting
Speaker 1: her teeth white. Not so she assuming she's filed the
Speaker 1: lawsuit here she's looking at something, yes, but she she
Speaker 1: says that, but I don't know that she has much
Speaker 1: of a case. And I'll tell you, why is this
Speaker 1: permanent damage to get a lot of money in those
Speaker 1: court cases? It asked. I used to listen to Handle
Speaker 1: on the law with Bill Handle, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: marginal legal advice. But he used to talk about the
Speaker 1: fact that if if you're if you're like um, your
Speaker 1: leg your foot gets amputated, you've got an amazing case.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get millions of dollars. But if you get
Speaker 1: a bruise and then it can heal, you don't get
Speaker 1: as much. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, it's uh, well,
Speaker 1: there's a couple of replies because she posted this on
Speaker 1: social media and a couple of people had replied sent
Speaker 1: him to a dentist saying that it's gonna leave permanent
Speaker 1: damage to her teeth and she'll have some kind of
Speaker 1: gingevitas that will be led to this, so we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. But according to what she said online, she's
Speaker 1: gonna see a specialist next week to see if there's
Speaker 1: any kind of remedy for for the miscues that she had.
Speaker 1: All right, well, should I sue because I burned my
Speaker 1: mouth my gums a few weeks back, because you don't
Speaker 1: know how to cook and I not. I had a
Speaker 1: double way. I burned, but I don't want to cook.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to wait, apparently, and I usually wait,
Speaker 1: but I was I wanted to eat. I was watching
Speaker 1: a football game, I don't know, Bears game or something
Speaker 1: like that, and I want to eat, and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I burned my mouth man a nightmare and bit my
Speaker 1: tongue at the same time. And I did a whole
Speaker 1: week of radio with a lisp. No days off, though,
Speaker 1: guess I did. I showed up, man, I showed up
Speaker 1: my power through because I got great. I'm at this
Speaker 1: one bet. A Japanese man was arrested for allegedly calling
Speaker 1: a phone company not once, not twice, but twenty four
Speaker 1: thousand times to complain about them and his contract. This
Speaker 1: guy was not a teenager, not in his twenties. And thirties.
Speaker 1: He was a seventy one year old man taken into
Speaker 1: custody for calling a telephone company twenty four thousand times,
Speaker 1: demanding that they apologize after violating his contract. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I give the guy credit for his ambition. You know,
Speaker 1: I always always like ambition, and this was clearly something
Speaker 1: that he was passionate about. And he had the curse
Speaker 1: of free time, right, He had the curse of free time,
Speaker 1: which I think is the biggest part of the story.
Speaker 1: The largest problem here is the guy was angry, He
Speaker 1: probably tired, he had nothing going on, and he's like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just gonna make my point. These people
Speaker 1: aren't giving me the answer that that I want, and
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna I'm gonna throw haymakers at him
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna punch them into submission with my my
Speaker 1: phone calls? And uh yeah, how did how did that
Speaker 1: work out? The last couple of stories, how about this
Speaker 1: one in Miami? Um, I love fruit bananas. People have
Speaker 1: said that people you do enjoy the fruit. I endray
Speaker 1: fruit vegetables. Uh, don't eat as much red meat anymore.
Speaker 1: How about this at an art gallery in Miami, Ben,
Speaker 1: an artist threw up a banana of the wall and
Speaker 1: I kid you not put duct tape to it. Duct
Speaker 1: taped it and then put a frame around it. It's
Speaker 1: sold at a Miami Festival of Arts for a hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty thousand dollars. He sold two editions of it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I saw I I saw this story. And this is
Speaker 1: the kind of a story, all right that makes me
Speaker 1: want to punch someone. These intellectuals that go to these
Speaker 1: art museums and all this stuff. Oh my, what a
Speaker 1: what a bunch of these people are so pompous and uh,
Speaker 1: I can't I can't stand it, these self adoring people
Speaker 1: with the the the art world. I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: it's so it's so freaking annoying, these these bozos, these
Speaker 1: dingle berries that do this. How about this one. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever driven how far have you
Speaker 1: driven across across the state of California or I guess
Speaker 1: I've driven all the way to an app grass Valley,
Speaker 1: which is kind of in between Sacramento, and I've been
Speaker 1: to Sacramento driving the Sacramento I gone from Sacramento kind
Speaker 1: of grass valley which is on the way to Reno
Speaker 1: I've been to obviously the the Mexican American border in
Speaker 1: San Diego and pretty much everywhere in California. Anywhere there's
Speaker 1: a road, I've I've been over the alright, well I
Speaker 1: bring that up because of this. Three people recently broke
Speaker 1: the cannonball run record. I don't know if you know
Speaker 1: what the ball run is. I saw I saw cannonball.
Speaker 1: It was before my time, but I saw it on
Speaker 1: the internet, all right. So it's a cross like that.
Speaker 1: It's a cross country drive from New York to Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Three people did it just a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: They did it. They actually left Manhattan got to Rednod
Speaker 1: Beach in twenty seven hours and twenty five minutes, being
Speaker 1: the previous record of twenty eight hours and fifty minutes
Speaker 1: ben The max speed in their car was a hundred
Speaker 1: and ninety three miles per hour. Their overall average speed
Speaker 1: was a hundred and three al right, So here's my
Speaker 1: I know that in lots lots of the country there
Speaker 1: is absolutely no u there's no one living there and
Speaker 1: it's it's a cowtown's farm, you know whatever. But to
Speaker 1: get to a hundred and ninety three miles an hour.
Speaker 1: At some point you're going to come across like a
Speaker 1: you know, an eighteen wheeler that's going five miles. And
Speaker 1: you see the problem with that. You see the problem
Speaker 1: force equals mass and all that. You see the issue
Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, I mean I love I love the
Speaker 1: fact that they were able to drive and speed all
Speaker 1: the way and not get a ticket. And I would
Speaker 1: like to go. But see, I would like to drive
Speaker 1: from like Boston to l A. And but I'd like
Speaker 1: to stop. You know, if I had money and I
Speaker 1: could just not have to work and just stop at
Speaker 1: these little places along the way, I think that would
Speaker 1: be a lot of fun. But I've never had enough
Speaker 1: time to do it. And so maybe when I'm old,
Speaker 1: I get a Winnebago or something like that. And yeah,
Speaker 1: they drove into Mercedies Benz E sixty three a mg
Speaker 1: eight hundred horsepower bend and I was also to turbo charge.
Speaker 1: So so they switched drivers. There was three drivers, right,
Speaker 1: so the switch driver, so what's the deal? So they
Speaker 1: pull over like a minute or thirty seconds and then
Speaker 1: quickly switched and then the next person drives. Is that
Speaker 1: how that works? Pretty much? It's like in the pits, right,
Speaker 1: and then the person has to sleep in the bad
Speaker 1: Imagine trying to sleep while this car is going super charged,
Speaker 1: I don't know, a a hundred ninety miles an hour, and
Speaker 1: you know, soaring across America, around the world, and you're
Speaker 1: you're in there, you pedal of the metal and you're
Speaker 1: in the back trying to take a nap. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: here's a here's a great story for I think your
Speaker 1: wife more than you um have your been a part
Speaker 1: or seen or felt the uncomfortable feeling of being a
Speaker 1: part of the Mile High Club, the bile High Club.
Speaker 1: I've I've been in plains. I've never been to Denver.
Speaker 1: That's the mile High No, I've not alright, well at
Speaker 1: Deccaan on a luxury yacht. Dad in Australia pleaded guilty
Speaker 1: to negligence after having drunken sex with a captain on
Speaker 1: a boat. That's not the Mile High Club, guest guard.
Speaker 1: You don't even know where it is. That would be
Speaker 1: the Friendly Sea Club or whatever. I'm bringing that up
Speaker 1: because of this. It was on a boat. I was
Speaker 1: gonna ask you if you had any kind of extracurricular
Speaker 1: activities in a car, in a train, you just screwed
Speaker 1: it all up. Then thanks a lot. I screwed it.
Speaker 1: I would say that everyone. Well maybe not these days,
Speaker 1: but when you're around my age, at some point you
Speaker 1: made out with someone in a car. I think that's
Speaker 1: where most people start doing that kind of act tivity.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Yeah, um yeah, I think
Speaker 1: we can elaborate a little bit more, talking about maybe
Speaker 1: changing the gears and a stick shift when it's an
Speaker 1: automatic transmission. If you get my drift, you're such a pervert.
Speaker 1: You are, you are such a such a perv. I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta work with you. Anyway, this crashed it
Speaker 1: was it caused a hundred forty thou dollars worth of damage.
Speaker 1: Well that's just because you know everything's complex. You you
Speaker 1: crashed into the dock with those boats, It's gonna cost
Speaker 1: a lot of money. Those are huge boats, right, chips. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, want to get out there, Ben,
Speaker 1: what apps some fun with us? You know, I am
Speaker 1: good at playing. I'm a good teammate. I wanted last
Speaker 1: week when I was doing in a fish bowl last week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're you're like Johnny Depp. You're Captain Jack Sparrow and
Speaker 1: Pirates of the Caribbean is what you want. There's not
Speaker 1: one bus that you wouldn't throw me under. There's not
Speaker 1: one train track you'd not throw me on top of.
Speaker 1: I am a truth teller, I'm a watch dog. That
Speaker 1: is what I do. And if I have to beat
Speaker 1: you like a rented mule or a rental car, I
Speaker 1: will absolutely do that with surgical precision. By the one
Speaker 1: will be disemboweled is what you find. All right, I'm done.
Speaker 1: I'm done for I'm done for this. All right, that'll
Speaker 1: put the baby to bed. Thank you for listening to
Speaker 1: this week's podcast, and remember trying to get those numbers
Speaker 1: up on Facebook. We're gonna get we even enough people
Speaker 1: listen to this where we should easily pass ten thousand
Speaker 1: if everyone just gets one other person to step up,
Speaker 1: to rise up to meet the challenge. But I have
Speaker 1: a great weekend. We will be back and let us
Speaker 1: know how the audio sounds. Hopefully it doesn't sound like
Speaker 1: a baby monitor this week or it was recorded on
Speaker 1: a drive through speaker system. Let us know how that goes.
Speaker 1: We'll be back on Sunday night on the radio after
Speaker 1: the NFL weekend, and we'll catch you next time