WEBVTT - Secret City 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:05.120 Boom. If you thought more hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:08.879 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:12.559 the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:15.440 crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.880 pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:23.720 break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:31.160 Maller starts right now. That it does, we are back 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.199 at it again and uh, we'll tell you right now. 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:38.840 The audio sunning, professional sounding, first class. More on that 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.080 in a minute. You know, sometimes the grownups have to 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:44.080 take over, and that's what happened here. But it is 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:48.440 the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and David Gascon because 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.600 as we say, four hours on the radio are clearly 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:55.360 not enough. We are everywhere you can get podcasts on 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:59.000 the I Heart podcast network, but it's available anywhere you 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:03.080 get your fine podcast. So coming up on today's edition 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:07.319 from the Bastro. As I'm literally sitting in Benny's Beastro here, 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.639 this is the menu we've got, take the oath, march 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:17.280 on through the Charleston fish food study. This what else 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:20.320 do we have? Grab bag? And also, don't stick to 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:22.440 sports stories of the week, which is pretty much the 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.880 entire podcast guest go On as we have managed on 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.319 this version of the podcast to pretty much do it 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:31.840 all football season and rarely actually mentioned anything related to 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:33.880 sports Man. This is not the first time I have 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:38.440 dragged myself and peeled myself out of bed on a 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:44.040 short week laboring injured, beat up, but I somehow succumb 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.360 to my wounds at certain times from the day, but 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.720 not for the fifth out with Ben maller As. I 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:52.000 have been defiant against my body's wishes to come in 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:56.240 here and record the stupid podcast with you. Yeah and uh, 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:59.640 and people really love the grit that you have here. 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.720 Guess gone. You know. The first rule of GRID is 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:06.200 to not say that you're using GRID, but you believe 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.880 that you need to do that. You were, You were 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.799 essentially fishing you like you had eulogy radio for three 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.200 weeks because of a of a mishap and your ballot 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:18.520 woman could have died. People die from that. I showed toughness, 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:22.720 I showed courage determination. I was in hospital for almost 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:27.600 five days, and there I was back with the intestinal fortitude, 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:33.000 lacking some intestines, the moral fiber. All right, break by 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.440 Brick segment by segment, I was able to pull that off. Blood, 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.880 sweat and tears. Guest gon, I'm gonna teach you. I'm 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:41.040 gonna teach you because your job. A lot of people 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:44.520 don't know this, but in radio, night radio, weekend radio, 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:47.080 you don't make a lot of money. Gascon actually drives 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:50.160 a Mr. Softy truck during the day. Actually no money 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:53.720 at all. Yeah, you you do a Mr Softy driving 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:55.880 that thing there, and and you you have the music 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:58.640 Mr Softy, And that's how you do it, right. I 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:02.320 listened to podcasts driving and uh, I drive a high 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:07.399 performance sports utility vehicle. Um, because it's one you don't 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:08.800 know how to drive. By the way, you don't know 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:10.919 how to drive the car. Did you tell your audience 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:13.080 last week you tried taking a picture of one of 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.400 our colleagues, only to find out that it wasn't one 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:17.360 of our colleagues. It was just some random idiot that 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:21.000 didn't know it was out. It was someone at what 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.560 does work in the building? And I did take the 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:26.839 photo it was it was a gas Guyn like parking job. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.440 I thought you were now teaching classes on other employees 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.480 how to park um, and uh, you know, I want 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:35.120 someone to be as unintelligent as you are parking in 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:39.200 the car and um, but it was the same brand 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:43.640 and color of the car of the aforementioned coworker. However, 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.680 uh it turned out to be uh, somebody had a 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:51.360 different license plate. But when trying to rat goes wrong 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.240 with Ben Maller, No, I wasn't trying to rat. I 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:56.160 didn't talk about it on the radio or anything like that. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.200 I was just showing you that there's other people. I 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:00.160 was trying to help you out because I know you 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.480 get depressed and stuff and you need you need your 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:05.440 therapy and your therapy dog and your medicine. All that 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.880 guests gout. So I, you know, it's such a bad parker. 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:09.760 I wanted to show you that there's other people out 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:13.000 there that are just as bad, if not worse than you. 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:15.760 I was trying to cheer you up. So really, you know, 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:19.040 no good deed goes unpunished. Right here, I am trying 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:21.880 to help you out, and you scoff at that. Uh, 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:24.080 you know, and anyone else, woul is it? Thank you 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:25.960 for that. It's so nice of you to see that 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.080 my position in life, but not, you know, not at all. 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:30.640 I think you're trying to get some humor out of this. 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:32.279 I think you're trying to take a shot. You're trying 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.239 to use it for fodder during your four hour show, 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.640 and uh, you weren't gonna get any of that. So well, 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.800 I do have a blank canvas of four hours of 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:44.720 amazing talk radio. You need some new colors, though, you 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:49.360 have some horrific colors of the last you are, You're 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:52.599 General Custer, You're you're going into little Big Horn with 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:55.839 this attitude. I don't think you understand, you do not 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:58.920 understand the power of that. We'll let's we'll get to 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:01.200 all that, But why don't we begin with take the Oath? 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:06.120 And for many years, alright, many years, and we've been 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:07.720 doing the radio show. I've been doing the show, but 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:12.000 we've worked here. We've had new people that come in, 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.479 Thank god, because if you know, even though there's like 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.680 the same five people that call the show every night 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:20.000 and harass me and and drive me to the Luni 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:22.440 bind but you know, there's new people that come in 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:24.839 and find the show. They start working overnights or whatever, 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.840 They change of affiliates and they find the show. Well 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:31.280 how are they find? Uh? And it's it's like the 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:36.320 Mallard Militia is thought of like the Illuminati for new listeners. 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:40.719 There's this shroud of mystery around the Mallard Militia. Many 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:43.200 people want to know how it works, right you. I've 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.080 gotten over the years. I've gotten messages on social media. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:50.000 I've gotten messages on emails. There like a secret handshake. 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:53.640 You know, there's some weird human sacrifice, like you gotta 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.200 burn some weed or something like that to join, or 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:58.200 I guess that wouldn't be a human sacrifice. Is there 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.080 an i Q test? Obviously if you listen to O, 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:04.039 there's no i Q test. Skeeter from Montana. You know 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.400 who Skeeter is? I do not. Yeah, he's a good guy. 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.760 That's why you don't know him. And Skeeter from Montana's 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:12.239 veteran now lives in Montana, but he was the latest. 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:14.320 He asked me earlier this week he said, you know, 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:16.279 how do I join the Mallet Mussa? Because she said 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:18.520 he asked me like every time he calls. He's obsessed 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:22.120 with joining the Mallet Mussa. So I have decided Gascon 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:26.800 to come up with the first ever official Mallard Militia 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:33.400 oath Yes Yes, and to debut it right here on 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:37.320 this podcast, The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallar, and now 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.960 does now when this oath is recited, though, does it 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:43.800 have to be recited in in a chorus like in 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.440 a in a kind of um, I don't know, musical 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:54.200 um musical trend. I guess, well said, Well said, like 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.560 almost like an alma mater, right, like you know when 0:06:56.560 --> 0:07:00.919 you get like Michigan or or I love you know 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:05.680 the military guys, guy like good loyal ex soldiers, soldiers 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:07.919 and whatnot to listen to show. So this is really 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:12.760 an homage to the United States military. It yeah, alright, 0:07:12.760 --> 0:07:15.320 So here it is here, this is the Mallard Militia Oath, 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:20.240 And here it is, I state your name, do solemnly 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.800 swear that I will support and defend the Ben Maller 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:27.320 Show against all enemies foreign and domestic, and that I 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:32.120 will obey the orders to peacefully fight back against hostile 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:35.880 attacks from rivals, sports, gas bags, and blowhards. So help 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:41.640 me God about that. It's okay. We are a no, 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:43.960 we are peaceful. Guest, you don't know this because you're 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:46.760 you're you're seeing the ugly side of the Mallard Militia. 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:51.360 But we are a peaceful bunch. Our battlefield is social media, 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.160 and we have to call enemies of the show out 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:57.120 like you and UH and in the malle militia. This 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:04.160 is a band of funeral directors, police fireman, criminals, truck drivers, 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:07.920 factory workers, security guards, you name it, short order cooks, 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:13.760 retired people with insomnia, sweet grandpas and grandma's and anyone else. 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:17.560 Sportscasters not allowed, but we have so actly we do 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:19.560 have some sportscasters that listen to KG, A couple of 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:23.160 the local ones right, NBC and ABC. I have heard 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:25.160 from all the big well not all of them, but 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:26.880 I've heard I actoually know I. I've heard from the 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:29.880 sports anchors at Channel two in l A, Jim Hill, 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:34.280 Channel four, Rogan, Rob's a big guy. Rob's like that 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:37.680 he's probably the biggest, and then UH, our friend Liz 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:40.480 Habib over Channel eleven and l A all have admitted 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.160 to me in a moment of weakness, that they listened 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:46.400 to the shows as they leave the TV stations they 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.360 work at their respectively. So they've all admitted that that's 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.920 pretty good. There you go. Has that helped me get 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:55.360 on any of their stations doing TV? No No has 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:58.880 helped you get on a a station or two. This guy, 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:04.400 this guy here, David, I don't see anyone you about 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.959 a couple of weeks ago on television. It was something 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:11.400 you had not experienced ever in your long, drawn out, 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.720 dragged out career. Yeah, well you know something else I 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:17.600 haven't experienced yet about that, And that's a check you promised. 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:25.840 You were very braggadocious. So as of right now, that 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:29.280 is pro bono. That was free. So if you don't 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:33.600 get paid, didn't really happen. That's the way I look 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.960 at That's fine for the greater good. Like alright, moving on, 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.360 very exciting news. I will be debuting all the details 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:43.079 right here. We've flirted with this on the radio show. 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:46.079 But march on. Be sure to catch live editions of 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:49.120 The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.680 pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:57.800 Radio app. I can confirm that the Mallard Man March 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:02.120 is going to happen. The Mallard Man March twenty nineteen. 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.719 I'm calling out all my listeners, all you guys that 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:08.200 are friends of the show in the Seattle area, anywhere 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:11.600 in the Pacific Northwest, that's in reasonable driving distance. We're 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:15.040 still working out the logistics, but I have been uh 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.079 the mallam militious come up. They really want me to 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:20.400 be here, and they have a stepped up certain members 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:22.600 and have taken care of some things. And so I 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:26.400 will be flying into Seattle during my end of year 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.679 sabbatical from the radio show, which I usually did the 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:32.040 last couple of weeks of the year. And for our 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:35.800 Seattle listeners, again, if you're within driving distance, we are 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:40.880 gonna have an amazing night of super fans getting together, 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:44.120 telling stories about the radio show, whatever else comes up, 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:46.560 and it's it's it's gonna be great. And there's two chances, 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:49.319 guess Scott, I did the math on this, two chances 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.079 to hang out. Because not everyone wants to go to 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:54.440 the Seahawks game. Not everyone has tickets to the Seahawks game. 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:56.280 Not everyone wants to deal with the headache that the 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:59.080 Seahawks game is gonna be a century length field. So 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:03.120 on Saturday December, you better take notes, guests, can I 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:06.920 hear you signed? So Saturday December, I'm gonna be in 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:10.880 Seattle that day and that night we're gonna have like 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.439 a mini get together at some restaurant or bar. We're 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:15.120 still working out where. So if you know anybody in 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:17.080 Seattle who owns a restaurant or a bar, you do 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.240 contact us if it's kind of near Century Link Field. 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:22.360 So we're gonna do that on Saturday for a few 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:26.400 hours and then on Sunday, the twenty nine. Well, that's 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:28.400 that's where it just gets off the hook. That's where 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:33.520 we will have a mallard man march around Century Link 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:38.400 Field with signs, bull horns and people banging on trash 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.600 cans like the Astros. I would imagine that would be 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:43.240 part of it. There some whistles. It is going to 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.800 be off the hook. It's gonna be very reminiscent guest 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.000 Gun of the time. I marched around the streets of 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.400 Los Angeles with a great clipper, Daryl, and we marched 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:56.319 for Lebron James ten years ago, and so every ten 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.080 years I gotta do this. I take a different city. 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.280 But I'm excited about Seattle. It's gonna be on and 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:01.880 I hope I'm not gonna be there that long, but 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.000 I hope to go out and experience the flavor of 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:06.880 Seattle and all that good. I just hope it doesn't snow, 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:09.680 because occasionally it snows there in that time of the years. 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:11.760 I hope it, hopefully it doesn't snow. I really hope 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:14.320 they don't open up the wallet for you. Um. I've 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:16.600 heard some rumblings about some things that have been taken 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:22.080 care of already. It makes me makes me nauseous. Who's 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:24.800 picking you up from the airport? First of all, I'll 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:26.720 take an uber or whatever. I don't think you will, 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:29.040 I will. I have, I have the Uber app on 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:32.439 my phone. I'll take the Uber. I'm taking care of 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:35.000 a lot of the costs, not all of them, obviously, 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:36.480 it's some of the big chunk of that was taken 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:37.760 care of by them militia. But I'll take care of 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:41.040 the rest. Unbelievable, I mean it's not unbelievable. Your net 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.520 because no one likes no one likes you, and nobody 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:45.280 wants to help you out. Your net worth is three 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:54.720 million dollars and you're you're panhandling on natural radio to Seattle. No, No, 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.120 I did not pan hell. This was this was presented 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:00.840 to me, unlike that bumb in Miami. I did not. 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.679 Even though you think I'm richer than Scrooge McDuck I 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:07.040 was not planning on attending. And these these fine members 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.040 of the Mallam Militia got together and they said, you know, 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:11.880 we gotta make this happen. We want to we want 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.319 to make this a special event. And uh and so 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.440 they contacted me and some of the key members. They're 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:20.920 j Scooped, legendary talent show winner, back to back years. 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:23.679 It has been great. He's like a Chamber of Commerce 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:27.359 guy for Seattle. And you go down there. Ed from Spokane, 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.360 We're we've got him in the in the mix. Christina 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.280 from Spokane, I understand. I got an email. I got 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:36.040 a bunch of people, I guess from Vancouver, Guys from Portland, 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:39.840 Oregon that area, Lee from Seattle who's been a caller, 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:43.520 all these people planning on attending here, and uh so 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:47.120 it's you know, in your face? Wait wait, why is 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.960 it in my face when you're just you're just robbing 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:53.560 these people of their well hard earned money. Well, because 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.640 I can't get you to go across the street unless 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:58.880 you're you know, you're getting paid for it. I can't. 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.800 You're you know, and I here I am as an 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:06.040 act of kindness. You're on my sabbatical, my end of 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:08.840 year sabbatical cutting into that to hang out with fans 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:10.880 of the show. Because I'm a man of the people. 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:13.600 Guess that's what I am. Yeah, you get may, I'm 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.800 the working class guy. I'm not song. You think Colin 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.640 Cowhorn is gonna take that time off, this vacation to God, No, 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.320 of course not. I think it's it's nice that you 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:24.800 took an all expenses paid trip to Seattle. It's not 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:28.600 at all. It just it's not at all expensive, expensive, 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:32.120 expensive trade whatever you said, it's not. Listen, it's uh 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.560 even though you think I'm in highsiety and all that 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.720 and uh money bags. But yeah, I mean I I 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.160 don't believe I am richer than Scrooge mcdock. I don't. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.560 I've been to the mansion and say, four car garagets there, 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:50.080 a lengthy driveway with a massive backyard. You have your 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:53.400 own fire pit, which normal people do not have. I 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.080 have a firepit that costs like fifty bucks at the 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.120 home depot. And I do sleep in a garage. You 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.080 don't know that. But I do sleep in a garage. 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.360 About that. Yeah, so technically I'm homeless. I sleep in 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:05.960 a garage. Are you gonna meet up with Stephen. I 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.160 think Stephen was taking some pictures last week or the 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:12.800 week before. Uh, he was at the Washington Huskies game. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:14.160 I think it was at the Apple Cup. I think 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:18.080 it was. So he might be another guy that I'd 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:20.120 love to meet him, and hopefully, you know, I'm gonna 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.120 I'll tweet all this stuff out once we get everything 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:29.240 locked down, and and and and all that. So, um, 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.680 she's actually she doesn't seem that upset by it, because 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.640 she's not going. I'm going by myself, but she she 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.240 one of her friends, one of her girlfriends is having 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.360 a birthday. Then, so I should probably just go out 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.080 and get drunk and have a wonderful time. Pretty good idea. 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:46.760 Leave the ball in chain away there, which I don't 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:48.800 think I'm a ball in chain, but she'll know happy 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:50.360 to get rid of me for the weekend, you know. 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.240 But she might have some some friends that that needs 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:57.600 some comforting during the holiday season, and uh, she can 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.520 find some real men that would help out, but probably 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:03.320 not you well, you never know. Alright, moving on to 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:08.840 fish food, fish food, And this is a really a 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:13.240 tribute to the high society of my guy, David Gascon, 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:17.240 a radio mercenary. Some would call them, based on last 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:22.160 week's podcast, a radio podcast assassin for what he did 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:26.560 to that podcast, and he is the producer an addition 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.640 to being on the podcast, he produces the audio content. 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.120 And you are also now public enemy number one for 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.880 the malle militia because the stunt you pulled last week, okay, 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:40.200 was an audio atrocity. I don't think it was too bad. 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.360 It was horrific, was it? Yes, it wasn't bad for me. 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:47.080 I mean it's you know, I think we can be 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:48.880 safe to say as long as I'm taking care of 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:53.360 it's all good. Right. Yeah. So, the the Mallar militia 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.800 so upset with your snob attitude here that they have 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:00.880 gone on the offensive, and so we've had had our 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.920 own little civil war going on between the mallem Militia 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:06.960 and Gascon. But some of the reactions from the people 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.320 that listened to the podcast last week that admitted they 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:13.680 tried to download the fifth hour with Ben Mallard, they 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:17.879 called the the audio quality again. I heart Media is 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.480 a major media company that we do this podcast for. 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:25.879 It's a massively huge important media audio content a company 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:28.920 with millions and millions of people that listened to content 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:32.720 on on I Heart every day. We are representing that company, 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:35.520 and the fans called the audio. They said it sounded 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:38.680 like it was recorded in a fish bowl. It sounded 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:42.600 like you guys were on different continents. Cans on a 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.920 string was one way it was described. Somebody wondered which 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.040 cave we were in when we were recording it. Uh. 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.520 Some of the other lines that sounded like my kids 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.040 baby monitor. I think that was Mr Nice Guy and 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:59.400 was recorded with walkie talkies in a bathroom, kids walkie 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:01.680 talkies in a bathroom. But wait, there's more. Guests on 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:06.119 other people describe your work as a fast food drive 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:10.240 through speaker quality. May I have your order? That's from 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:12.600 your gag On parody account? So you sent that one 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.920 out the David gag On account. Uh. Somebody else said 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:17.600 it sounded like it was recorded on a like a 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:22.800 nineteen eighties audio cassette, old technology, and I think it 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:26.119 was Mr Nice Guy also said my granddaughter's elementary school 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:30.000 play had better production value than The Fifth Hour with 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:33.200 Ben Maller So gas Scott, I am going to give 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:37.040 you a chance, all right, I'm gonna the prosecution rest 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:42.679 go ahead, defending defend yourself. Well, I think you just 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.119 acknowledge the fact that we are working for a multi 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:51.760 multimillion dollar company that has a wide array of audio 0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:58.720 content that's provided throughout their platforms sports, news, pop music, 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:02.000 whatever it may be. And I think we can point 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:05.879 to what was the root cause to have that audio 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:08.560 quality like that. And I think it's safe to say 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:12.040 Ben that weekend and week out, you'd never ever seem 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:15.800 to have that kind of a problem. Am I correct? Well, 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:20.159 I usually work with professionals. I work with people that 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:24.159 don't mail it in. You usually work with professional equipment. Um, 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:26.040 So I think I think it's safe to say that 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:28.480 if I had the luxury of rolling out of my 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:31.919 bed in two hundred thousand dollars worth of equipment to 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:35.840 record set audio podcast, I think you would listen to 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:40.680 it with distinct perfection, uh clear clearness that you would 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:44.119 expect to have on a regular, everyday basis. Now, for 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:47.119 the professionals with air quotes that you work with, I 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:49.480 think it's safe to say that on a daily basis 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:52.080 when you bash said talent, you really don't work with 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:56.960 professionals on your show. So wow, you're now telling people 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:04.199 roll Mama Luke, what's wrong with you? This is my 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:10.040 chance to talk to the jury. So I asked for forgiveness. 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:14.399 I asked for understanding. I do not drive sixty five 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:16.600 minutes to seventy five minutes out of my way just 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:20.439 to record a podcast, especially when I'm not on the 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:23.600 clock for other shows of Fox Sports Radio. So that 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:27.600 being said, I went to an alterior motive, and that 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:31.320 was to chop down the gut gas, to chop down 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:34.080 my commute, and to do something a little bit differently 0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:37.200 where we recorded on a different kind of a platform 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:39.639 and then ingested it through Fox Sports Radio and and 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:44.879 Apple iTunes portals. So um, that probably will not happen again. 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:48.240 But football season is coming to a close, so thankfully, 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:50.840 Bett Mallor, we will not have that problem for quite 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:54.359 a while anyone whence football season kicks around. Yeah, alright, 0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:58.840 so are you done the defense? Rest? Alright? As the judge, 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:02.120 jury and execution. You have been tried, you have been 0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:05.400 convicted on all charges, and you will soon be executed. 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:09.360 So good afternoon, good evening, and good night to David Gascon. 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:13.080 Because you don't have the facts your little sobs story, 0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:17.240 no one's working. You turned this podcast into the Devil's Workshop. 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:20.080 That was the Evil Hour. It wasn't the fifth hour. 0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:23.200 It was the Evil Hour. The one thing we have 0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:26.760 we don't have photos gascon. All we have is audio content. 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:29.960 All we have is audio content. That is it. We 0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:33.080 have nothing else. Be sure to catch live editions of 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:35.679 The Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern 0:21:35.760 --> 0:21:39.440 eleven pm Pacific. I thought I redeemed myself on Thanksgiving 0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:43.639 Day when I drafted Jennie and Tom Looney amongst the 0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:47.440 Fox Sports radio colleagues for the Benn Maller Show. There 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:49.640 was a poll that was done during one of the shows, 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:52.760 and I thought, I I thought I represented your show 0:21:53.240 --> 0:21:54.959 to the fullow. Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't know I 0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:56.800 was gonna bring that up. I forgot to even put 0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:58.320 that on the list of so much other stuff I 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:00.640 want to talk about. Well, what I mean, what a 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:05.600 bitter co worker? I mean Dan Buyer, a guy that 0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:08.959 I like. I've known Buyer for years. I knew him 0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:11.800