1
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,480
Speaker 1: Hey, this Sanny and Samantha and stuff.

2
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,360
Speaker 2: I never told your prediction of by Heart Radio.

3
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,160
Speaker 3: And welcome to another Monday Minni, and this time since

4
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,480
Speaker 3: my last one, and I think your last Mendy Mini

5
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 3: were a little bit like dreadful and probably some of

6
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,360
Speaker 3: these episodes, a lot of these episodes are dread dreaded

7
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,640
Speaker 3: news or things of things that are happening.

8
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,800
Speaker 1: We're gonna do good stuff. So I've mentioned it.

9
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,159
Speaker 3: Previously, but I was so excited to see a ten

10
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,840
Speaker 3: bit of good news from a friend of the show

11
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:39,560
Speaker 3: and listener.

12
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:39,960
Speaker 1: Susie Hi.

13
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:44,120
Speaker 3: I know you listens. Good to know you're still listening,

14
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,640
Speaker 3: but you know, and she actually elaborated on it. I

15
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,600
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I love it. In that episode. I

16
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,600
Speaker 3: wanted to add some good things that were happening with me.

17
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,880
Speaker 3: I was traveling and things turned out okay and things

18
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,280
Speaker 3: are good.

19
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,720
Speaker 1: And I had.

20
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,720
Speaker 3: Another wonderful conversation with a Zumba friend the other day

21
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 3: who was talking about all this new good things that

22
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,880
Speaker 3: have been happening in her life, and I, as I

23
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,000
Speaker 3: typically do, ask more and more questions about it because

24
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,480
Speaker 3: that's what I do, That's what I'm known for. I

25
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,720
Speaker 3: need to know give me the detail, let's talk about this.

26
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,399
Speaker 3: And towards the end of the conversation, she, like most

27
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,600
Speaker 3: considerate and courteous people, made a comment about how she

28
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,319
Speaker 3: was talking all about herself the whole time, and she

29
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,160
Speaker 3: kind of felt bad, and she's like, I don't even know,

30
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:24,800
Speaker 3: you know, I didn't even have a chance to hear

31
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,039
Speaker 3: what's happening with you. My response was that having her

32
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,080
Speaker 3: tell all the details of how things have been good,

33
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,960
Speaker 3: have been in a good place for her helps me.

34
00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:39,360
Speaker 3: Helps me too. I get to share with her and

35
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,040
Speaker 3: celebrate with her all the great things that are happening

36
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,280
Speaker 3: in her life, and it reminds me that it's okay

37
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,280
Speaker 3: to actually find joy in the small things and being

38
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,680
Speaker 3: allowed to share in that joy with someone as a privilege.

39
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 3: So of course we have to remind others you listener

40
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,400
Speaker 3: as well. And it's not just me telling you this,

41
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,800
Speaker 3: but we have to give you the proof, right, We're

42
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,480
Speaker 3: here to give you some proof. And here's something from

43
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:14,120
Speaker 3: rmc dot Rochester EEDU by J. McLaren Kelly, PhD. So,

44
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,440
Speaker 3: doctor Kelly, if you will, they wrote, when someone shares

45
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,680
Speaker 3: good news with you, they typically seek your joining with

46
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:26,200
Speaker 3: them in celebrating the event, extending the positive feelings derived

47
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:30,640
Speaker 3: from the event itself. This process is known as capitalization.

48
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,120
Speaker 3: In a series of studies Gable, Reese and Impact and

49
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,959
Speaker 3: Asher So that was set in two thousand and four

50
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,640
Speaker 3: found that capitalization was associated with greater positive emotion and

51
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,320
Speaker 3: life satisfaction on the day when positive news was shared.

52
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:49,240
Speaker 3: This result remained significant even after accounting for other events

53
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,400
Speaker 3: that day and the positive emotions derived from the event itself.

54
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,680
Speaker 3: Sharing positive news with others support your well being beyond

55
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:02,120
Speaker 3: the experience of the positive event itself, so it is scientific.

56
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,680
Speaker 3: On top of all of this, there is a deeper

57
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:09,760
Speaker 3: conversation about how people react passive affirmation, I think, and

58
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,720
Speaker 3: then like all these others, there's four So you could

59
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,280
Speaker 3: have a negative reaction essentially in a positive reaction, and

60
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,880
Speaker 3: it does says a lot about you and the type

61
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,320
Speaker 3: of friendship you may have as to how you respond.

62
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,800
Speaker 3: So if there's a negative response, that might not be

63
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:23,640
Speaker 3: a great friendship.

64
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,679
Speaker 1: That's a whole different conversation.

65
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,560
Speaker 3: We're not gonna, we're not gonna, We're not gonna to

66
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,920
Speaker 3: hone in on the negative part. We're sticking with the positives.

67
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,920
Speaker 3: Any kind of like how I get to share your

68
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,280
Speaker 3: love for the last of us watching it together, eating

69
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,840
Speaker 3: foods in relation because you get so excited and I

70
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,840
Speaker 3: get daily texts about I think this next episode is

71
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:45,640
Speaker 3: gonna be above this.

72
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god. The names of these episodes are this.

73
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:55,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love I might not respond always because I

74
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 4: don't know what to say to that, because I'm like cool, cool, cool,

75
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,200
Speaker 4: but I love it.

76
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,280
Speaker 1: It does bring me joy as well.

77
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 3: Now that I've got a fancy car that plays aloud

78
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,000
Speaker 3: or reads a louder text, it's even better when I'm

79
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:12,080
Speaker 3: on the road hearing these texts which respond text obviously

80
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:16,200
Speaker 3: I have to hear them. And a bit more information

81
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,280
Speaker 3: from Greater Good dot Berkeley dot du quote. They found

82
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,279
Speaker 3: that those people who shared positive events with others felt

83
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,680
Speaker 3: more grateful in the moment and closer to the person

84
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,640
Speaker 3: with whom they shared the news. In addition, people with

85
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 3: a tendency to share good news and receive enthusiastic responses

86
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,839
Speaker 3: were the most grateful in the group overall. So, for yeah,

87
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,400
Speaker 3: if you are one of those people who have good news,

88
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,839
Speaker 3: and I hope you have someone who receives them, because

89
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,000
Speaker 3: it works for you too.

90
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:43,880
Speaker 1: It helps for you too.

91
00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,239
Speaker 3: Any Do you feel that way or do you feel

92
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,680
Speaker 3: like I just judge you.

93
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:53,000
Speaker 2: No, I think I think you're fantastic. I think the

94
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,159
Speaker 2: judgment might be earned in the cases I get it.

95
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,720
Speaker 1: It's just it's just playful jabbing.

96
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,520
Speaker 2: It's nice when you have somebody that's like, it's nice

97
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,160
Speaker 2: on both sides, if you are good friends with each

98
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,960
Speaker 2: other or whatever your relationship may be. It's nice when

99
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 2: someone tells you something good and you're like, oh, yes,

100
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,040
Speaker 2: And then it's nice on the other end to have

101
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,360
Speaker 2: somebody tell you hey, that is yeah.

102
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,560
Speaker 1: Both of those things, so for all of us.

103
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,280
Speaker 3: And I think it's something that women often do, like

104
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,840
Speaker 3: the gossiping or like getting the good tea and all

105
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,719
Speaker 3: of that, and if it's good news, it's even better.

106
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 3: And just receiving that and then not being negative. So

107
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,920
Speaker 3: if you if your tendency to be negative, to be like, oh,

108
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,320
Speaker 3: I hope it doesn't good, all bad, blah blah blah,

109
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,000
Speaker 3: try to try to dial it back because it helps

110
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,880
Speaker 3: you too, to be able to celebrate with people and

111
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:44,039
Speaker 3: they continue. Study co author Alexander Gray of Northeastern University

112
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,080
Speaker 3: says these findings suggest sharing good news is a way

113
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,080
Speaker 3: to enhance gratitude and reap the rewards of that. When

114
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,360
Speaker 3: you share positive events with other people, you experience gratitude,

115
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,600
Speaker 3: says Gray. We know gratitude has its own benefits, like

116
00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 3: increase well being or increase relationship quality with the person

117
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,520
Speaker 3: when you're interacting with strengthening your social bond with them.

118
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:04,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've seen this.

119
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,200
Speaker 3: We've seen like when you have some commonality, let's say

120
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,560
Speaker 3: you compliment each other's dress or whatever, whatnot, and or oh,

121
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,280
Speaker 3: I have something like that. You know, when you have

122
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,960
Speaker 3: that commonality and you get to joyfully come together with it,

123
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,320
Speaker 3: it brings a closer bond. It brings a fast friendship sometimes,

124
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:23,640
Speaker 3: and you never knew how great that friendship was. Caroline Old,

125
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,560
Speaker 3: co host of the show. We did this. We had

126
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,279
Speaker 3: commonality with knowing certain people and then understanding that we

127
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,680
Speaker 3: actually agreed on several issues, and we became became friends

128
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,000
Speaker 3: really quickly, to the point that other people were jealous

129
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:35,640
Speaker 3: of our friendship.

130
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:37,400
Speaker 1: Eat it. We're still friends.

131
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:54,680
Speaker 3: So here's some more information from psychology dot com. Quote

132
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,560
Speaker 3: your good news is no longer yours, It's no longer theirs.

133
00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:01,080
Speaker 3: This kind of collective intimacy makes it possible for us

134
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,600
Speaker 3: to know that the breadth of what we are experiencing,

135
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,240
Speaker 3: the good and bad, is not just a reporting of

136
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,160
Speaker 3: what is happening, but a reminder that though others may

137
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,520
Speaker 3: not be physically with us, they are always co authors,

138
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,520
Speaker 3: shaping what we see and notice and appreciate in ways

139
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,120
Speaker 3: that can sustain us during the most difficult parts of

140
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:22,920
Speaker 3: our experiences. And all our articles talk about this type

141
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,200
Speaker 3: of bond can really become something real, a true friendship.

142
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,880
Speaker 3: And from ink dot com, Jeff Hayden writes people are

143
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,520
Speaker 3: wired to share good news with those we care about,

144
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,360
Speaker 3: if only because the act fosters deeper connections, and he

145
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,680
Speaker 3: continues with the benefits of sharing good news. According to

146
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,400
Speaker 3: the study, capitalizing on good fortune yields important interpersonal and

147
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:48,520
Speaker 3: interpersonal benefits. Telling others about positive events creates higher positive

148
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:52,440
Speaker 3: effect and greater life satisfaction. Plus, the more people you tell,

149
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,760
Speaker 3: the greater the benefits. Active and constructive responses from others

150
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:01,560
Speaker 3: as opposed to passive or destructive responses, yields increased benefits

151
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,120
Speaker 3: that go beyond the effects of sharing the news itself.

152
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,720
Speaker 3: In other words, the act of sharing is fun, but

153
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:11,160
Speaker 3: getting a great response makes it even more fun and finally,

154
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,440
Speaker 3: telling others about positive events make those events more memorable,

155
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,840
Speaker 3: if only because retelling an event gives you the opportunity

156
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,640
Speaker 3: to rehearse what you want to say quote I can't

157
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,280
Speaker 3: wait to tell Mary about this and then say what

158
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,960
Speaker 3: you want to say and add it all up and

159
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,160
Speaker 3: sharing good news makes you happier both now and in

160
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,719
Speaker 3: the future when you remember the positive event itself and

161
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,320
Speaker 3: how the people you care about responded to the news.

162
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,280
Speaker 3: I think it's important that we are able to face

163
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:43,640
Speaker 3: the daily battles, especially today, and we can't do that

164
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,520
Speaker 3: if we are bombarded with dread of or feeling so

165
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,559
Speaker 3: down that we are paralyzed. So we have to take

166
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,280
Speaker 3: the time to celebrate the good things. It works all obviously,

167
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,079
Speaker 3: this conversation that we're having, obviously the studies that I've

168
00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,000
Speaker 3: been had is important. And it's not just a religious thing,

169
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:04,680
Speaker 3: because I think gratitude comes in association with like religion,

170
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,400
Speaker 3: a lot of the times, being grateful means that you

171
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,120
Speaker 3: owe something instead of understanding it can build something. So

172
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,479
Speaker 3: I want us to remember that. Make sure you're celebrating

173
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,400
Speaker 3: your good news with those around you, and also that

174
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,400
Speaker 3: you're receiving those good news because it's good that you

175
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,960
Speaker 3: listen and celebrate with people like that is Actually that's

176
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,480
Speaker 3: more fun for me when I get to like celebrate

177
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:28,800
Speaker 3: with you.

178
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,640
Speaker 1: I love it. This is one of the favorite things.

179
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,240
Speaker 3: I love that Annie has all these loves because I

180
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 3: feel like I don't have enough, so I can basket

181
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,640
Speaker 3: her love. Enjoy in these things that I might know

182
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,320
Speaker 3: nothing about. Did I know anything about Star Wars before

183
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,160
Speaker 3: I met her? No?

184
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,440
Speaker 1: Very little. Do I know way too much? Probably?

185
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,679
Speaker 3: Do I have a lot of Star Wars things that

186
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,600
Speaker 3: I never knew I needed? Yes, yes, I do. People

187
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,760
Speaker 3: think I love Star Wars because of you, and I'm

188
00:09:54,800 --> 00:10:03,840
Speaker 3: okay with that. So here's some more advice from Hayden

189
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,040
Speaker 3: that I think is something important for us to hear.

190
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,600
Speaker 3: When a friend or employee or colleague share good news,

191
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,600
Speaker 3: dive in, be enthusiastic, be proud, be happy for them.

192
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,400
Speaker 3: We should be easy because seeing a friend be happy

193
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,080
Speaker 3: should make you feel happy.

194
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,800
Speaker 1: As for details, as.

195
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,160
Speaker 3: For long term implications, ask how and why and when,

196
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,120
Speaker 3: give them a chance to bask in the moment. Not

197
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,600
Speaker 3: only will that make them even happier, it will also

198
00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,920
Speaker 3: make whatever happened more memorable. I think that's such a

199
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,960
Speaker 3: great advice again for both of the things, you know,

200
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,760
Speaker 3: be willing to share, be willing to hear both of

201
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,280
Speaker 3: those things, and it is important. It's not trivial. Like

202
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,800
Speaker 3: when I was talking to my friend at Zoomba, she

203
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 3: really like she kind of was like trying to like hesitate.

204
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,480
Speaker 3: I was like, no, tell me more, tell me all

205
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,360
Speaker 3: of it. And it was beautiful. I think it's one

206
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 3: of the things that builds us up.

207
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:55,920
Speaker 1: Like we are.

208
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,280
Speaker 3: We don't hang out outside of there, but hearing her

209
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 3: talk about those good news really did obviously left an impression.

210
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,040
Speaker 3: It's a week, It's been a week since I've talked

211
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,360
Speaker 3: to her, and I still think about this moment. We've

212
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 3: got a long road ahead, so do what you need

213
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,280
Speaker 3: to focus on these battles, including resting when you need

214
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,280
Speaker 3: to and celebrating what you can.

215
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:21,199
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, absolutely, and listeners there if you're celebrating anything

216
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,880
Speaker 2: we would love to hear from you, give me that. Yes,

217
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,880
Speaker 2: you can email us at Hello at stuff onever told

218
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,760
Speaker 2: you dot com. You can find us on Blue Sky

219
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,320
Speaker 2: at momsa podcast or on Instagram and to talk at

220
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,520
Speaker 2: stuff we never told you for us on YouTube. We

221
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,120
Speaker 2: have a tea pupbook Store and we have a book

222
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,160
Speaker 2: you can get wherever you get your book. Thanks as

223
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 2: always too our super producer Christina or executive prist My

224
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,040
Speaker 2: and conturbor Joey.

225
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,840
Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff never

226
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,079
Speaker 1: told you.

227
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,080
Speaker 2: Instruction of My Heart Radio.

228
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,079
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My Heart

229
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,240
Speaker 2: Radio, you can check out the heart Radio app Apple Podcasts,

230
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,840
Speaker 2: or if you listen to your favorite shows