Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
Speaker 1: decision Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty.
Speaker 1: You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions. Hey guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions. I'm your girl,
Speaker 1: Mandy v aka Full corporuns Akad Beach. Hey, everybody, welcome
Speaker 1: back to another episode. My name is Weezy and per usual.
Speaker 1: You can go get our book, No Holds Bart. If
Speaker 1: you don't have it already, you are really missing out, Beach.
Speaker 1: I really don't like when people are left out. It's
Speaker 1: like people that didn't watch Love Island and all that shit.
Speaker 1: I'm one of them, and I don't want you to
Speaker 1: be one of those that I haven't read our book yet,
Speaker 1: So go and order No Holds Bard is out now,
Speaker 1: that's right. Don't beat on people that got so much.
Speaker 1: Some motherfuckers say because you watch a little clip, a
Speaker 1: little thirty seconds, a little sixty seconds or something and
Speaker 1: don't check out the whole thing, that's what you doing
Speaker 1: on the internet. And I know by now you've seen
Speaker 1: all these clips about our goddamn book. Do not comment
Speaker 1: unless you've broad the whole thing. Poor Fayever, Okay, she
Speaker 1: only said that because you're here, we want to make
Speaker 1: you feel included, Like we just said what I can't say,
Speaker 1: poor paper, your favorite nicker, Nick ker Awan. I guess
Speaker 1: we're gonna start with a little ketchup or whatever. It's
Speaker 1: crazy because I notice is the decisions decisions now, and
Speaker 1: I don't want us to get like bleeped too much
Speaker 1: on the YouTube. So therefore, if you don't want to
Speaker 1: hear the bleeps that's about to come, go ahead and
Speaker 1: subscribe to our patreon where is bleep free puts the
Speaker 1: whole or what You could try to tell this story
Speaker 1: without saying I like that. I mean she just said, Dick,
Speaker 1: do you think they bleeped out there? Yes? It isn't
Speaker 1: that an anatomical or saying thirteen version, like call it
Speaker 1: banana the banana plant? Ye say stuff like that. And
Speaker 1: when me and him were hunching, say stuff like that,
Speaker 1: you think we can say hunching, hunch hudget is corraze. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna make it. By the way, it's already
Speaker 1: gonna sound like it's coming from an old bitch or
Speaker 1: an old woman. I'm sorry, look at me. I don't
Speaker 1: want to get the bleeps going. Okay, it sounds like
Speaker 1: it's you're gonna hear why because I'm embarrassed to share
Speaker 1: this story, but I'm finna share it with y'all. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, No, even worse, even worse, even worse. First off,
Speaker 1: not y'all guessing about the goddamn egg plant story. Okay,
Speaker 1: So anyways, if you guys have been on the Patreon,
Speaker 1: you would have known, like the backstory, I'm back single,
Speaker 1: so I'm back dating outside, going back in the rolodecks,
Speaker 1: and so basically boomed. Let me tell y'all what happened.
Speaker 1: So I ended up double back into somebody that this
Speaker 1: is so bad too pre pandemic. We ended up hanging
Speaker 1: out try to hook up. We were both so lit.
Speaker 1: He didn't get up, and so normally I don't give
Speaker 1: someone second chances with that. There's a few guys I've
Speaker 1: talked about on the pod where that's happened, and it's like, well,
Speaker 1: we didn't fuck because it didn't get hard, right. So anyways,
Speaker 1: we just kind of kept following each other on Instagram.
Speaker 1: We haven't done anything. Anyways. I was lit the other night,
Speaker 1: and he happens to live in Atlanta. So I was
Speaker 1: lit the other night, coming from like my homeboy game night.
Speaker 1: When I say lit lit, we was playing some game.
Speaker 1: I don't even was it Tunuk. It might've been tungk
Speaker 1: and you would just had to drink. Anyways, I was lit.
Speaker 1: So it's two o'clock in the morning. You hear me
Speaker 1: two o'clock in the morning. I say, come over because
Speaker 1: I look at his story and he outside, So I
Speaker 1: hit him up, like, come over, mind you we've never
Speaker 1: had sex. He's like dead ass. I'm like, yeah, the
Speaker 1: dead ass response is crazy. Now did you ever feel
Speaker 1: it coming? Did I feel it coming for him? None
Speaker 1: of Yeah, because you're like, we never had tags. No,
Speaker 1: he good looking, He very good looking. He also about
Speaker 1: to have a nickname on the five and y'all about
Speaker 1: to hear it goes deeper into the story. So anyways,
Speaker 1: so it's two o'clock in the morning, he's like dead ass.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I'm calling on uber now. I said
Speaker 1: me too this one. But just can't have homeboys just live. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: he wasn't my homeboy because we clearly tried two fuck
Speaker 1: years ago. It just didn't get up and I didn't
Speaker 1: really give him a second chance. So what did you
Speaker 1: do right after you didn't give him the second chance?
Speaker 1: He was just like, okay, never mind. This was pre
Speaker 1: pandemic and we didn't live in the same city anyways,
Speaker 1: like I was living in New York. Prepandem. It said
Speaker 1: pre pandemic, as if that's the like it was. It
Speaker 1: was pre predom. We technically didn't fuck because resep body
Speaker 1: counts after prepend Oh baby, I got three. I'm good,
Speaker 1: so three. I mean I had a relationship, then the
Speaker 1: the basketball nigga I went to every time me and
Speaker 1: him broke up, and then my new boyfriend ex boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Now I don't know. Oh yeah St Croix, none of
Speaker 1: the only niggas you fuck? Remember I went celibate, Yes
Speaker 1: you did, and then I stopped fucking. Twenty four to seven,
Speaker 1: Oh so I can add twenty four seven five five
Speaker 1: penises in five years is not bad? That is it's
Speaker 1: a dick of year. Whoa, I'm proud of my not
Speaker 1: a dick of year. You know what's crazy? I actually
Speaker 1: feel like that can't be right.
Speaker 2: I thought I'm going to be office with you. I
Speaker 2: don't think so either, Yo. No, is that fin shir
Speaker 2: been going on a little too well for you?
Speaker 1: Don't yo? I was in a three year relationship. I
Speaker 1: mean okay, there was mad girls. Let me do girls
Speaker 1: on count I mean no, not really, I'm talking about
Speaker 1: the insertion per penis. Okay, wait, broll I have five
Speaker 1: and five year old accounts because twenty twenty the only
Speaker 1: way she likes to cobadd Then the nigga was cheating
Speaker 1: on him with Lambeau b d Oh Lambo too. None
Speaker 1: of no Lambo was prepende, No Lampo was after pandemic.
Speaker 1: Lambo was after o bay All right, Oh, you ain't
Speaker 1: even too many? The nigga got cheated on him with
Speaker 1: b d d Lambbo Netflix, Netflix, Netflix. The skater niggam,
Speaker 1: I can't mind, man, you already do. I'm at five
Speaker 1: and then you're men and now you're man. Oh and
Speaker 1: the two niggas you cheated on obay with Oh my,
Speaker 1: what I count I'm like seven, old bab That don't
Speaker 1: sound right either? Sound first? Got we counted this to
Speaker 1: share a dick story is crazy? Like your nigga, you
Speaker 1: ain't fucking nobody was no the one? What do you
Speaker 1: see what I mean. I don't like this, you know,
Speaker 1: like what I'm saying, she's over. You're trying when William
Speaker 1: and that's why he got mad at the one dude
Speaker 1: that I used to go to and you know him,
Speaker 1: that's that's him. I just feel like mine don't count
Speaker 1: how girl because she lost because she had more dis
Speaker 1: than I did. I've been more conservative. You know, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be getting hold on. You know what's even more crazy?
Speaker 1: People about to hop in the comments like wait, what
Speaker 1: about this guy a mathematics They about to go back
Speaker 1: and be like, in this episode you said no, that
Speaker 1: was it. That was it for me too, Damn why
Speaker 1: would you do it? Okay, you know you know what's crazy?
Speaker 1: This actually might lead to one of the variables for
Speaker 1: this story that I'm telling. So anyways, the story, I'm
Speaker 1: all scared, okay, so let me get back to my story.
Speaker 1: So anyways, I was horny. Clearly he was outside, so
Speaker 1: I said come over. He said, dead ass, He said yeah,
Speaker 1: didn't really waste no time wasted like none. So he
Speaker 1: walks in. So he walks in. We go straight to
Speaker 1: my bar and do another shot. Because you've been out.
Speaker 1: I've been lit. Let's do another shot, given though the
Speaker 1: first So we do a shot, even though the first time,
Speaker 1: you know this was dumble me good yeah, good point.
Speaker 1: And he was so lit the last time. We both
Speaker 1: were lit, but literally couldn't get up. Maybe he was nervous,
Speaker 1: Maybe it was a liquor. I don't know. All I
Speaker 1: know is this time I think maybe he went and
Speaker 1: got surgery. It came out. He was hard. We started
Speaker 1: kissing in the dining room, said let's go upstairs. We
Speaker 1: get upstairs, and this is how you know I was.
Speaker 1: I was ready. I had already the condomns under the
Speaker 1: pillow and the loop like. He was just right ready.
Speaker 1: I knew I wanted some dick. So he pulls it
Speaker 1: out as short, isn't there what? No, I don't I
Speaker 1: I set up. I set it up. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: mab with this thove. So he he takes it out
Speaker 1: and I get ready to put it in my mouth,
Speaker 1: and it is ginormous. It Oh no, but it is
Speaker 1: ginormous with a hook. And when I tell you like like,
Speaker 1: so his dick is probably like this, like it might
Speaker 1: be the size of my whole arm. What's crazy? Someone's
Speaker 1: gonna know he were talking about because you think someone
Speaker 1: that dick has a hook, No, bitch on that thing
Speaker 1: like left right his name on the show about to
Speaker 1: be Captain Hooks. It's not an uppercut, it's a hook. Bitch,
Speaker 1: Are you gonna fuck him again? So we've already fucked
Speaker 1: three times and this is where the story's gone. So anyways,
Speaker 1: we fucked that night and bitch, I know, I'm y'all's queen. Ooh, baby,
Speaker 1: I ran about forty We just experienced a heat wave
Speaker 1: in New York City and during our downtime, me and
Speaker 1: Eden county three more dicks than this, bitch, fuck continue
Speaker 1: the story, Captain hook Ricks, Oh, I got, y'all, hook,
Speaker 1: I forgot that. Okay, wait, can I be like the
Speaker 1: how to men be? Do sex workers really count sax?
Speaker 1: Short Friends and nigga from Texas? Three different states? Okay?
Speaker 1: First off, the fellow shoall was like all up in
Speaker 1: my pussy and you know what he didn't say during hill?
Speaker 1: What's it be down down? AnyWho? Okay, so back to
Speaker 1: the story, So boom, he go to fuck me, and baby,
Speaker 1: I cannot take that dig for nothing, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this isn't normal. It's the hood. Hold on, it's even
Speaker 1: it gets deeper than this, because I'm like, mind, you
Speaker 1: were loved up. So I'm like, okay, maybe it's because
Speaker 1: you know, I haven't fucked in a while. I broke
Speaker 1: up with my with my boyfriend. It's been like a
Speaker 1: month and a half. You know. The pussy done came
Speaker 1: back and so I was like, maybe that's it. So gray,
Speaker 1: it was so good. I ran that thing back the
Speaker 1: next day, hold on any daytime. Literally during his lunch break,
Speaker 1: bitch ran that thing back again. So he came in again.
Speaker 1: Bitch came into girl put it in me, and I
Speaker 1: was running again. So let me tell you how big
Speaker 1: this thing is. Let me tell you now. The hook
Speaker 1: is a variable. The amount of time it took me
Speaker 1: to have sex is another variable. Y'all want to know
Speaker 1: what another variable is? What's variable? I ain't starting. I
Speaker 1: don't know the other variable yet. Because I decided that
Speaker 1: maybe something is anatomically wrong with me. His his penis
Speaker 1: went so deep into me and I couldn't take it
Speaker 1: so good. I said, you gotta be a fibrarate. I
Speaker 1: need to go to a doctor. I literally, in my
Speaker 1: old ass mine said, bitch, you don't wrong from dick.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be something like something a right down there
Speaker 1: that she was running. So here we go where you
Speaker 1: did you go? Well? No, we want a thirst time?
Speaker 1: Oh what did I take that dick like a motherfucker?
Speaker 1: Pro So? Maybe I think I said so, maybe it
Speaker 1: was a time that I was you know, you have
Speaker 1: a cycle and within your pms, apparently you're you're you're
Speaker 1: more sensitive at certain times than not like e'sag Smith.
Speaker 1: There's a whole lot of things that could have been.
Speaker 1: I am going to get some doctor though, because I
Speaker 1: don't like not being able to take dick. But anyways,
Speaker 1: so that happens, and it's so good, I start to
Speaker 1: be like, so need that again? I have a question
Speaker 1: for the men because now I'm confused. We're having a
Speaker 1: great time having sex, it's going well, we've only fucked
Speaker 1: three times, and he says that he feels like meat,
Speaker 1: and I need to know how to not make him
Speaker 1: feel that way. Although I remember how anyone that attended
Speaker 1: our last Horrible Decisions tour, what show me the text
Speaker 1: of you asking what the meat? Or ask him for
Speaker 1: the wait, ask him for it? I need to see
Speaker 1: why he said, like, how did you say the way
Speaker 1: he used to text twenty four to seven, you up
Speaker 1: gang or he said that no, no, no, we something like that.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. You know what's aught so crazy about you
Speaker 1: saying this about how I talk? So hit him the
Speaker 1: other day because we've been talking about like Michelin restaurants
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I went to one yesterday, so I
Speaker 1: called him. I was like, ooh, go into this cote.
Speaker 1: I love cot so Coke, So went there and So
Speaker 1: called him and was like and when I called him,
Speaker 1: he answered, like, what's up, babe? Not the B word
Speaker 1: with three insertions, and I kind of let us slide.
Speaker 1: And I don't know that if I hear it again,
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna have to like, hey, brou calm down
Speaker 1: with that problem. Okay, first off, to be called babe,
Speaker 1: I'm the only three insertions and this is any start
Speaker 1: a clip of this. So I made that love I
Speaker 1: Love Island joke today because I just started it because
Speaker 1: everybody's watching it. Okay. Brionda actually hung up on me
Speaker 1: a few days ago for the watch You're not watching
Speaker 1: Levine that I can't talk to you and hung up.
Speaker 1: She's like, ditch, I need to talk like I'm not I
Speaker 1: need to talk about that, and I can't tell you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm also dubbed me in text. So I started watching
Speaker 1: it and there's a scene where this dude chooses a
Speaker 1: girl as his number one, which means they now share
Speaker 1: a bed together, and they're coupled in the villain Okay,
Speaker 1: his name is Ace, her name is Amaya, and he goes, look,
Speaker 1: I just want you to know even though I chose you,
Speaker 1: like he's, oh, I'm not watching it, but apparently they
Speaker 1: came out of thing. Okay, okay, But anyway he said
Speaker 1: to this girl, he said, yeah, like I'm with someone else.
Speaker 1: She goes, okay, fine. Next day she's like, I mean,
Speaker 1: damn babe, and he goes, I don't really like that either.
Speaker 1: She's like what He's like, Yeah, like the cuddling, like
Speaker 1: the extra tonal, like the pet name. She's like, okay,
Speaker 1: so you don't. I can't say babe either. And at
Speaker 1: this point I'm really feeling her because I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: don't tell me you like me or you fuck with me,
Speaker 1: and I can't say that. I can't say fucking babe.
Speaker 1: Do worth off? He just he inserted in me three times. Cool,
Speaker 1: We're cool. A minute mark. You could say no, no, no, no
Speaker 1: to me. Three assertions doesn't mean that. Now there's the
Speaker 1: pet names going on. Not call you by your first year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean he he doesn't say like that. But Yn
Speaker 1: actually told me once he was like, you call everybody
Speaker 1: bab Yeah, but you know what's crazy, he didn't call
Speaker 1: me babe before he inserted he answered the phone, what's
Speaker 1: that babe? Like that, just like that, I am not
Speaker 1: your babe. I'm not your babe. Restaurants because we finish,
Speaker 1: go and eat. Because he don't want to feel like meat,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna let him feed me some other meat
Speaker 1: besides his meat. So you calling him and telling about stuff, right,
Speaker 1: because you are doing no. But that's the thing. But
Speaker 1: since before pandemic, we still maintained where we talked. We
Speaker 1: send each other meets, we text like we do all
Speaker 1: that ship. When I moved to Atlanta, Like I told
Speaker 1: him about my favorite sushi restaurant, he told me about
Speaker 1: Like we still have conversations. You don't like him, you
Speaker 1: know what's crazy? He cool, He's very he's very handsome.
Speaker 1: Me my type with a big old dick, good job
Speaker 1: six five good Yeah, Like it's cute, and she said
Speaker 1: a year out, but I don't. I don't want a
Speaker 1: relationship right now. That's fair, but he can't call you
Speaker 1: be okay, getting deeper. Let me tell you what really happened.
Speaker 1: Hold on, because why not? Let me tell you what.
Speaker 1: So we went on a date. This is before I
Speaker 1: got with Active Bay. So we went on a date.
Speaker 1: It was cool. He ghosted me, I swear to god.
Speaker 1: He doesn't think he did, but I felt ghost you.
Speaker 1: So literally, after he fucked the ship out of me,
Speaker 1: I said, damn, you ghost to me, nigga. So he's like, wait,
Speaker 1: what he fucked the ship out of you recently? And
Speaker 1: then I brought up damn nigga, and you ghosted me
Speaker 1: and I still gave you some pussy, which is crazy anyway,
Speaker 1: So you So then I got a boyfriend and so
Speaker 1: it didn't I got a boyfriend, so it didn't matter.
Speaker 1: So he's like, okay, I'll tell you why, just not
Speaker 1: right now because we laid up. I'm probably ruining the mood.
Speaker 1: So he tells you you ready, yes, tell the nigga.
Speaker 1: I ain't want kids, oh exactly, and so in his mind,
Speaker 1: hold on, So we have this whole conversation because he
Speaker 1: liked me, and then I said, yeah, fuck them kids
Speaker 1: on a date and he's like, he's my age, so
Speaker 1: he wants kids. This was after fuck one. We've now
Speaker 1: fucked three times. I like to think my pussy is
Speaker 1: that good. He now was like, well, maybe I don't
Speaker 1: need kids, and he called me babe. I feel like
Speaker 1: he's liking me, and whoa. Yeah. Well this was to
Speaker 1: go with ghosting, but we did an episode with trash Tuesday.
Speaker 1: We loved. I loved the cutie for Duties. Actually, Alex
Speaker 1: has been trying to get us to go. I want
Speaker 1: to go back for years. I will go back on
Speaker 1: their show. Love them like and I don't say that
Speaker 1: about many people, especially white people. When I tell you
Speaker 1: I would go on their show once a month I
Speaker 1: was there. I love them. They're from one of us
Speaker 1: back before the episode. I love them. If y'all go
Speaker 1: check it out, it's out if you're on our Patreon.
Speaker 1: I posted it trash Tuesday shout out to them if
Speaker 1: oh my god, white girl us so because girl, we
Speaker 1: were saying nigga with them, but they didn't say it back,
Speaker 1: which I appreciated. Wait, Mandy, why would they say that
Speaker 1: they would. But if they did say, well, no they
Speaker 1: did say that, which one do you think it's said? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say that because these are them date guys.
Speaker 1: One was dating an Asian and the other dates white guys. Right,
Speaker 1: she didn't Sam and allow Brown. I like Saman's nah,
Speaker 1: you damn. I want to know what I will say.
Speaker 1: I will say, I will say and though on them
Speaker 1: them them islanders, there's they're probably the most respective in
Speaker 1: terms of not having to say nigga. Like y'all saw
Speaker 1: the mexicanot said, nigga can say what they grow up
Speaker 1: around their own tribe. So I don't feel like they
Speaker 1: need to say the innovatric cle on Trappa because you
Speaker 1: know what it is. Here's the thing she asked the
Speaker 1: question people like why you ain't check you There's some
Speaker 1: moments where you're just like, I'm gonna let you sit
Speaker 1: in your dumb yep. I felt that from h just like,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I don't think any of them want to
Speaker 1: said it anyway, don't check it out, you're gonna do
Speaker 1: about it. What did we talk about on tray Shuesday?
Speaker 1: We talked about something like this ghosting and ghosting. I
Speaker 1: don't think ghosting is okay, and you and the girls
Speaker 1: were like, no, I go feeling it. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: he did, and I'm not I actually think the ghosting
Speaker 1: is the most appropriate in terms of, like of what
Speaker 1: I'm saying for a reason. I actually he had a reason.
Speaker 1: I understand he had a reason. He literally they really
Speaker 1: can't go past this at all. And he literally said
Speaker 1: that to me. So after the date, which you well wait,
Speaker 1: which I thought was great, right, the date was great.
Speaker 1: So when it kind of went nowhere and I stopped
Speaker 1: hearing from him and then I got a boyfriend, it
Speaker 1: didn't matter. But now how that he fucked me and
Speaker 1: it was good? Now I was like, damn, Now, I
Speaker 1: want to know why the fuck you ghost to me?
Speaker 1: And it was because he's digging you down and he
Speaker 1: is taking me down. Question, then what is the fine
Speaker 1: line between distancing and ghosting? No? No, no, we were
Speaker 1: we were texting, talking like it was on a date. Shut.
Speaker 1: Literally it was like a shut immediately, Oh no more Texas,
Speaker 1: no more calls, no faith, no more reaction. And that
Speaker 1: went like even on my Instagram and then guess what
Speaker 1: he started reacting to you my flowers. I got sent
Speaker 1: by my nigga, the sushi that he bought me when
Speaker 1: I went to La. All the posts about me having
Speaker 1: a nigga is the ones he would kind of like
Speaker 1: corny double tap, like big big six five cornball. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I didn't mind it, but that's where he
Speaker 1: was like, you got into a relationship, you know, he
Speaker 1: was like, my ship, Well, you know what it is.
Speaker 1: It's very passive aggressive it is. It's a very passive.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Bro. If a bitch did that
Speaker 1: to a nigga, that's corny. You know, I'm glad you
Speaker 1: found somebody. I even told him when we started talking
Speaker 1: about the kids, I said, no, if you want to
Speaker 1: go have kids, you could still be in search of
Speaker 1: baby mama. Who's telling everybody? Why why can't I tell man?
Speaker 1: If they want to have kids, go ad them. You're
Speaker 1: just not gonna have them with me. I don't see
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. There's something really wrong. I don't
Speaker 1: know how we're supposed to navigate this non traditional life
Speaker 1: without new ways of introducing solutions to FOP. Because the
Speaker 1: truth is, if someone wants children and you don't, they shouldn't.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't be dating long term well, who's to say
Speaker 1: what long is? It's subjective. The reason I say that,
Speaker 1: it's like who we date a year is someone who
Speaker 1: we date for two years? Like what is law? I
Speaker 1: think even dating for two years, that's kind of I
Speaker 1: think two years. And here's why I say that. And
Speaker 1: this is no shade to you. I want you to
Speaker 1: meet I'm sure a man that's in alignment. Well yeah
Speaker 1: he might be an alnight now he said he don't
Speaker 1: old kids, no vote. I mean I didn't ask real
Speaker 1: so to me, the reason I think it shouldn't happen
Speaker 1: is because one you start doing shit, no one needs
Speaker 1: this extra headache in their life. For example, you're a
Speaker 1: woman that's saying, go out there, do your thing where
Speaker 1: that's gracious of you. Now it's another fucking headache in
Speaker 1: your life because now this nigga has to take time
Speaker 1: from away from you to go be with this children.
Speaker 1: Then you're gonna have the baby mama headache. Then there's
Speaker 1: a new energy in their life. Then that kid is
Speaker 1: somehow now surrounding your life. Now you're the fucking bitch
Speaker 1: for saying, hey, well I don't want to wrap your son,
Speaker 1: come on vacation. I have a kid, and you're like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck it was supposed to I didn't want kids.
Speaker 1: It like brings it into your life and it's bringing
Speaker 1: you shit you don't want or need. So I can't
Speaker 1: even date niggas with kids, then, I think. I mean,
Speaker 1: but based on what she even said, that's what I'm
Speaker 1: g if you don't want to child like, if you
Speaker 1: don't want to handle that, if you don't want children
Speaker 1: around your seer in your life. Nah, So what you're
Speaker 1: telling me is that the date deadbeats no? Well no,
Speaker 1: because if you're saying no, so I like, I have
Speaker 1: off of other friends that don't want children. So what
Speaker 1: you say, as crazy as people act like you are,
Speaker 1: this is not a crazy fucking thing to me at all. No,
Speaker 1: I got crazy men and women. I don't want kids,
Speaker 1: understand that. So I do. Wait, what you're saying is
Speaker 1: that I can't based off even someone wanting them in
Speaker 1: the future. Would you say that, as a woman not
Speaker 1: wanting kids, that I also shouldn't date a man that
Speaker 1: already has kids because what about the men that have
Speaker 1: kids and don't want any more? Respectfully? Oh, I mean
Speaker 1: that's what I'm That's what I'm asked sactfully, respectfully, you
Speaker 1: don't want to be kids at all? Well, maybe they're
Speaker 1: teenagers by now, if there's an age, Like I say
Speaker 1: respectfully because I don't want to say it, like you
Speaker 1: don't like children, but they do seem bothersome to you
Speaker 1: sometimes babies, So yeah, but I wouldn't date with a
Speaker 1: newborn baby. What about like a seven year old, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't mind a seven year old, bro, I'll be around
Speaker 1: my homegirls with kids, So like, I'm not that disgusted
Speaker 1: and like I hate kids so goddamn much. I like,
Speaker 1: I like exaggerations, don't I feel if it was long
Speaker 1: term and that kid is with his dad half the week,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that probably wouldn't work for me. But that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But that a good dad someone's playing
Speaker 1: custody doesn't mess necessarily making them a good dad. They
Speaker 1: probably did it so they have to pay more child support.
Speaker 1: Well let's just say that. Chances are you chose a
Speaker 1: good partner, and a good man is gonna want to
Speaker 1: show up if they wanted to be in their child's
Speaker 1: life half the week. How would that make you feel? Subjective?
Speaker 1: You know, it depends how good the dick is how
Speaker 1: much money he has, how great he looks. I don't
Speaker 1: think I mean I've dated guys with kids before though
Speaker 1: long term. No, I have a data of many people
Speaker 1: long ter. Yeah, I don't think you should go because
Speaker 1: I don't like this, because I get what she means though,
Speaker 1: and it's not a headache for Mandy though I know
Speaker 1: you're coming from good intentions at the end of the day.
Speaker 2: Realistically, even if it's short for her, long term, it
Speaker 2: might be messing with him.
Speaker 1: Like guys sound like I'm being picky or nasty when
Speaker 1: I'm saying, don't date a guy with kids, And I
Speaker 1: genuinely think if I didn't want something for my life,
Speaker 1: I'm not surely better. Yeah, I don't think it's because
Speaker 1: then it's just really actually is a friend. No, it's
Speaker 1: not even that it's crazy because I guess I come
Speaker 1: from And again that's why maybe even hit it toward
Speaker 1: the quote unquote deadbeat daddy right, Like I grew up
Speaker 1: in a single parent household. My dad saw us maybe
Speaker 1: once a month, and sometimes the girlfriend was with him,
Speaker 1: sometimes they weren't, but we didn't infiltrate his life at all.
Speaker 1: As what it seems, right, and a lot of my
Speaker 1: friends currently are fucking single mothers. Guess who. They have
Speaker 1: almost zero contact with zero help even financially from their
Speaker 1: baby daddies. So there are a lot of people with
Speaker 1: kids who, especially men, but especially Menia Williamson. Right, what
Speaker 1: don't truly make you feel good? You're not talking about Zion,
Speaker 1: Zion a fat nigga that No, No, you're not talking about Zion.
Speaker 1: You're talking about Zarah. And then he there's a guy
Speaker 1: that had kids with a woman and he's like paying
Speaker 1: not to Anthony Edwards. Look, she confusing the basketball player. No,
Speaker 1: that's Anthony Edwards, she says, Zion whatever that guy right?
Speaker 2: Why she confused it though? Why because didn't Zion also
Speaker 2: have a kid?
Speaker 1: No, Zion was fucking with a prostitute. Oh like put
Speaker 1: him on Black Gossip of the City. Whatever she is.
Speaker 1: I don't know. The BBL hosts are like the Anthony no, oh, sorry,
Speaker 1: because you know he could. I don't even want to
Speaker 1: put it. No, if that's your friend, don't be putting.
Speaker 1: They might not be true on it. It's just his
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend like wild out, but it might not be true.
Speaker 1: She's on TikTok saying how much you should be asking
Speaker 1: for Anthony Edwards, right, Anthony Edwards. Okay, so I was
Speaker 1: gonna say a deadbut dad. Right, Yes, let's just say
Speaker 1: you dated a guy that washed his hands with those children. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you in this book talk about how a ship my
Speaker 1: own daddy is yep, now knowing how the effect of
Speaker 1: those things, knowing how fucked up was, to date a
Speaker 1: man that's now having that same action, I mean, but
Speaker 1: that's so again, And that's why I said it was subjective.
Speaker 1: Like to me, I've also said that I know a
Speaker 1: man could be a great partner and probably not a
Speaker 1: great father or vice versa. There's really good fathers that
Speaker 1: aren't great partner. But would you want to date a
Speaker 1: man that wasn't good to children but the children? So
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. Being good to children again is
Speaker 1: subjective because you could be a good father, not a
Speaker 1: good partner. And unfortunately, because I also I'm friends with
Speaker 1: a lot of people who are single parents, I also
Speaker 1: know that it's not necessarily always just the relationship between
Speaker 1: a parent and a child, because you have another adult
Speaker 1: in there that infiltrates maybe how much you can see
Speaker 1: them or or makes it difficult. So that's why I said,
Speaker 1: I don't want to generalize this topic because there are
Speaker 1: a lot of nuances to being a single parent or
Speaker 1: a nigga being a deadbeat dad. There just is. What
Speaker 1: I'm saying is though, do it unless the kid was
Speaker 1: older and the baby mama got a new call. But
Speaker 1: that's even if they're older, they still end up like
Speaker 1: a child with the trauma of not having their child around.
Speaker 1: So I don't even think age matters. I think, but
Speaker 1: I also have talked two men who had kids at
Speaker 1: a very early age seventeen eighteen, had them in college,
Speaker 1: and now they're in their thirties. So to me, I mean, again,
Speaker 1: there's nuance to it. I would be okay dating a
Speaker 1: guy with kids? Are you? I think? Are you watching
Speaker 1: ann just like that? No? Okay, terrible first episode. I
Speaker 1: thought it was a parody, and everyone knows how much
Speaker 1: I love Sex and the City. Fucking dumb. However, this season,
Speaker 1: Aiden and Carrie decide to get back together. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: they're in the fifties or whatever they're in. Aiden's son
Speaker 1: is acting out, who's like twelve? Okay, he tells Carrie, listen,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be together, but I need to be there
Speaker 1: for my kid right now. Okay, I think I need
Speaker 1: to be with him for another five years. Okay, Carrie
Speaker 1: and him decide to split ways. He moves to Virginia.
Speaker 1: She's in New York. She's in a relationship with him.
Speaker 1: They bought a house together. Okay, everybody, all of her
Speaker 1: friends think this is crazy, right, And Carrie's feeling very
Speaker 1: alone because he's got to tend to his children. Blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. This last episode I watched, she goes to Virginia.
Speaker 1: He tries to integrate her with his children. They're a mess.
Speaker 1: He's throwing shit out the window. Fuck you mom, total
Speaker 1: white kid shit and my homegirl. I get on the phone,
Speaker 1: she goes, this was exactly what the world needed to see.
Speaker 1: And I wish Black America could see this, because all
Speaker 1: we see is a black single woman with her children
Speaker 1: causing a man a headache. And now you get to
Speaker 1: see a woman who decided to have no kids. Bam,
Speaker 1: and your fuck shit in your world. And now I'm
Speaker 1: excited to watch the rest of the season because I'm like,
Speaker 1: Carrie should leave. I'm not gonna lie because I just
Speaker 1: need It's our baggage, not everybody's children. Are baggage them
Speaker 1: a little fuck ass motherfuckers, dawn, little boys baggage and
Speaker 1: his baggage to the point where now I can't be
Speaker 1: a priority. Now I can't be a part of this world.
Speaker 1: For example, another thing, get to a city in Europe.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say what city, but my man's
Speaker 1: homeboys around and he's got a kid, he has a
Speaker 1: girl come visit. I'm talking to the ditch at the
Speaker 1: bar with my homegirl and the dude was basically, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, he's only in time for a little bit
Speaker 1: of time. And a girl's like oh. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's so sweet, like he's getting back to his sons,
Speaker 1: Like this is so cute. And she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't be number two to nobody and they kids.
Speaker 1: My homegirl and I looking like, oh no, my homegirl says,
Speaker 1: shout out to a cute so why are you dating
Speaker 1: a man with kids? She goes like, I guess I
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't. I'm just having fun, but I'm never showing
Speaker 1: up the number two, So that's that's problematic. So when
Speaker 1: she walks away, me and my homegirl like, why would
Speaker 1: you even say something like that to y'all? To your
Speaker 1: man's he's with his friend, his girlfriend. Now you know,
Speaker 1: I know you're gonna repeat this. Why would you tell
Speaker 1: a man to their face, I'm never coming number two
Speaker 1: to your kids? So now you're literally dating someone saying
Speaker 1: what out not gonna happen? Your sons are number two
Speaker 1: to mind you A man saying that to a woman
Speaker 1: would be just like you don't say that kids come first.
Speaker 1: I think, though I've called this my superpower in previous episodes,
Speaker 1: I think compartmentalizing is my superpower, and it could be
Speaker 1: to a fault, right Like, I know there's gonna be
Speaker 1: people in the comments like, oh my gosh, she clearly
Speaker 1: needs therapy. But I said it, and I'll say it again.
Speaker 1: I don't believe in things lasting forever, and I think
Speaker 1: that in ways that I genuinely know, I can't show up.
Speaker 1: I have to be willing to walk away or have
Speaker 1: someone walk away from me, which is why when I
Speaker 1: laid down with Captain Hook, because it was good and
Speaker 1: I wanted again, I wanted to know where that happened.
Speaker 1: And when he said, oh, because you said you didn't
Speaker 1: want kids, okay, well I'll be here until you go
Speaker 1: find someone to have them with like, but that's not
Speaker 1: what I want, literally, dead ass, you know to me
Speaker 1: saying that, why, because I feel like that almost lives
Speaker 1: in the same language of so why married ben Chichi
Speaker 1: better chapter? It's the thing of getting more and deserving better?
Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me? Why would someone? Well? Right now,
Speaker 1: I'm just well, right now, I'm just I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I'm getting you. I want the dick. I want
Speaker 1: the dick. It's really good. I enjoy his company and
Speaker 1: so for now it works for me and I'm getting
Speaker 1: exactly what I want to Well, to me, I don't
Speaker 1: want a relationship right now. I just got out of
Speaker 1: one bitch. I haven't been home longer than fucking like
Speaker 1: even the third time I just fucked him. It was
Speaker 1: because I decided to change my flight so I could
Speaker 1: sleep in my bed and not have to rush straight
Speaker 1: to Okay. See, so I was like, ooh, no, I
Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to be here, but I'm here for eleven
Speaker 1: hours if you want to come over, like to me,
Speaker 1: it works right now, So to me, where now he
Speaker 1: has to make the decision. Big if you're starting to
Speaker 1: like me, but you know you want family planning and
Speaker 1: I can't give you that. That's to be his decision
Speaker 1: to stop fucking with me. Right now, I'm getting exactly
Speaker 1: what I want. But it feels good now that I'm
Speaker 1: not running. But like, to me, I'm not wasting my time.
Speaker 1: If he's wasting his time, that's on him. He has
Speaker 1: to plan his own life for me right now, though
Speaker 1: what I want is exactly what I'm getting out of him,
Speaker 1: and I like it. If you want friends with benefits, shit, sure, great,
Speaker 1: I think that's the best thing. And then the only
Speaker 1: thing that can suck is like the more that we
Speaker 1: start to grow connections with people, like, let's just say,
Speaker 1: you really start feeling this niggat, let's say, because it's
Speaker 1: very possible, I think he would be the most unfair
Speaker 1: one because he's telling you I'm good. I said I
Speaker 1: didn't need a kid like you said that I'm still
Speaker 1: dating you. It's like the pressure back and forth. That's
Speaker 1: why I don't think it's fair or safe to say
Speaker 1: date me, go up kids with someone else, because that's
Speaker 1: still well no, so even me saying that we had
Speaker 1: a deeper conversation, right, I don't want kids. We're fucking
Speaker 1: I know that we're fucking with protections. So I'm not
Speaker 1: even asking him if there's anyone else he's fucking. I
Speaker 1: don't think we're there yet. But when I say, when
Speaker 1: you're ready to go have kids, go find someone. To me,
Speaker 1: that's me letting him know when he gets to a
Speaker 1: place where he wants something, I don't even want him
Speaker 1: to think he can apply any pressure to make me
Speaker 1: change my mind or make me feel like I have
Speaker 1: to show up in a way that I've already said
Speaker 1: I'm not going to. I think when we date people
Speaker 1: with intention or not because of yes, we'll deal with
Speaker 1: people and then fall into feelings, we get digmatized, we
Speaker 1: think that we just want of friends with benefits relationship,
Speaker 1: and then it's like, oh my god, you coming over
Speaker 1: every day. Now I'm cooking for you, Now I like you.
Speaker 1: All of those things, Yes, they happen, but I'm very
Speaker 1: clear about that, and so to me, if he is
Speaker 1: this grown ass man at the age of thirty five
Speaker 1: really wants to have kids before it's too late, I'm
Speaker 1: fine with him saying, Yo, you're not able to give
Speaker 1: me what I need right now. I need to go
Speaker 1: get that. I might cry not it too, but I'm okay.
Speaker 1: With that, and I think that that's the thing, like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try to be somebody that I'm not
Speaker 1: that I don't want to be that, And I think
Speaker 1: that we have to put that same onus on the man,
Speaker 1: like a lot of us show up in ways that
Speaker 1: we don't want to for the sake of a man often.
Speaker 1: And so if that's what he's doing with me, I
Speaker 1: hope he's not because I want him to be true
Speaker 1: to himself. That's gonna be his job to step away
Speaker 1: from me, and for me, it's not to push away
Speaker 1: in no good dick, bitch, I'm sorry, I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: getting a good dick. So you feel we almost don't
Speaker 1: want you to go eat with this nigga, just keep
Speaker 1: getting why now you are telling me that now I
Speaker 1: can't get fed by niggas only because he said he
Speaker 1: feels like he's being treated by meat. But that's why
Speaker 1: I say he can take me how to go get
Speaker 1: some shit. I'm saying I think I make something sex
Speaker 1: focused because they know that's what they like. I actually
Speaker 1: really believe niggas need to let that shit ronge. Oh no,
Speaker 1: you should have seen girl, because I didn't make him
Speaker 1: feel like meat. So he's put on like the the
Speaker 1: documentary around the Submersible, and then we started fucking, so
Speaker 1: we paused it and then he left because I had
Speaker 1: a flight. Bitch, there's twenty five minutes left. Do you
Speaker 1: know he said, don't finish watching it till I come back.
Speaker 1: That's bitch, Now we watching shit together. Oh I thought,
Speaker 1: I thought, I don't wait he left left. I thought
Speaker 1: he left all night, but we had twenty five minutes left,
Speaker 1: and I was like, dang, he told me not to
Speaker 1: finish it until you come back over. That's like leaving
Speaker 1: something making sure he come back. You know. Yeah, my
Speaker 1: nigga didn't talk to me all night because I watched
Speaker 1: White Lotus with bro It becomes well. He was a wait,
Speaker 1: so is that more intimate than him taking me out
Speaker 1: to eat kind of yees? Saving a Netflix show? Yes? Yeah, yes, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I will agree. We agree more than babe. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna like you know it's crazy. You know
Speaker 1: what's crazy experience for him? You know what's crazy. I
Speaker 1: didn't check him on the bab, but if it happened again,
Speaker 1: it might have to check him. So is there a
Speaker 1: way to check someone on a anymore. Why you're too far,
Speaker 1: which we have only fucked three times. Now you're saving,
Speaker 1: Now you're doing the food that you guys are picking
Speaker 1: the ship. You're too far. It's like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about now? I can't say, babe, bitch, sun up Seau.
Speaker 1: He hasn't slept over yet. Okay, he hasn't slept over yet,
Speaker 1: but that's why he feels like me. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: Nigga had a fly, you had to get up early
Speaker 1: for work. You made an excuse to why he couldn't
Speaker 1: sleep over. Instead of saying, oh no, I did say
Speaker 1: I would like I like slumber parties, so I said
Speaker 1: we got to do that soon, and he kids, I
Speaker 1: don't like the pet names, bro. I just don't like that.
Speaker 1: If you all go back to maybe like your three
Speaker 1: of Horrible decisions. I've never really liked the pet names, bro,
Speaker 1: because it made me feel like you're just forgetting my name,
Speaker 1: like you fucking with a whole bunch of bitches. Way
Speaker 1: about a friend of mine, you've only met him once
Speaker 1: or twice on my gaze. I don't want to say
Speaker 1: his name though, but he was like saying something about you,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, is Mandy like that? What
Speaker 1: do you say about me? So in the Breakfast Club interview, yes,
Speaker 1: you said you were single. Mmm. He called me, and
Speaker 1: he's like, I knew it. I was like, knew what
Speaker 1: he's like after listening to the show Mandy when she
Speaker 1: like a nigga, got an energy that I didn't hear
Speaker 1: from her this time around, and I was like really,
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, I remember Mandy was giggly, and
Speaker 1: he was like, so Mandy wasn't giving that energy. I said,
Speaker 1: you know, bring this up. I didn't know that. I
Speaker 1: think he's gonna be at the book signing tonight, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna having keep going, keep going. He said to me.
Speaker 1: A thing that I thought was very interesting. He said,
Speaker 1: I wasn't even trying to be what's the word when
Speaker 1: you're wanting something to go bad? Malicious? He said, Listening
Speaker 1: I knew Mandy. It felt like he liked it when
Speaker 1: Mandy was just she didn't get google Gaga and I've
Speaker 1: heard her be on the show Your ex the recent X. Okay,
Speaker 1: He's like, I would hear Mandy be like let me
Speaker 1: I mean and get so feminine and girly and whatever.
Speaker 1: He's like, I know, I absolutely did that with my ex.
Speaker 1: I know. Oh the point he's now is when Mandy
Speaker 1: likes a nigga, she's like that. And so I'm saying,
Speaker 1: when you like a nigga and he called you bad
Speaker 1: bitch bag, you're not, you'll enjoy it. I don't know, really,
Speaker 1: go don't like a nigga. You know, it's crazy. I
Speaker 1: like him, but I am so like anti relationship right now,
Speaker 1: right like, but I don't. I don't want it to
Speaker 1: go that far. And I don't think like you, and
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm the one for him. That's your
Speaker 1: your saying you're valid in the whole day, Well, you
Speaker 1: really like a nigga and you're into a nigga, your
Speaker 1: energy is definitely you are like super in luck and
Speaker 1: I didn't think about it. Okay, that's possible. And honestly,
Speaker 1: it's crazy because I wonder if people felt that from
Speaker 1: you while talking about your most recent ex. Because for
Speaker 1: a person who's met you once or twice to be
Speaker 1: like nah, I heard may be different before. Yeah, was
Speaker 1: a narcissist. I was throwed over a nigga. Darren. If
Speaker 1: you listen to the eight years of this fucking podcast.
Speaker 1: I was thrown over twenty four seven's Dick Lawyer Bay
Speaker 1: who had a lot of issues, and my ex uh sauwmate.
Speaker 1: Those are the only three niggas that I've ever been
Speaker 1: googly over. I talk about good dinner. You were that
Speaker 1: googly over lawyer Babe. But well, it was it was
Speaker 1: very short lived. I remember it was very short lived.
Speaker 1: I remember one thing specifically you said, and I was like, oh, boy,
Speaker 1: was I google over a nigga that I thought it
Speaker 1: was my sawmate? Yes, I said something about something wrong.
Speaker 1: You said he didn't do nothing wrong. He didn't. He
Speaker 1: was perfect for the whole first year, and that's why
Speaker 1: points But I also say, and it's it's weird because
Speaker 1: even in therapy I'm talking about it, that whole timeline
Speaker 1: of me. First off, it was the pandemic. I was
Speaker 1: cooking every day. I wasn't outside. We were only together me,
Speaker 1: him and my fucking cat like because of the world
Speaker 1: shutting down, Crystal was battling breast cancer like. I wasn't
Speaker 1: even allowed to be around my core group of friends.
Speaker 1: So he was my universe literally for a year, which
Speaker 1: is why he was perfect to me. We had no
Speaker 1: outside influences think about him being perfect or I think
Speaker 1: when you to me out someone, But to me, he's
Speaker 1: the only person that I've ever been like that with.
Speaker 1: And it's why I had such the difficult time saying
Speaker 1: that L word to my ex because this was the
Speaker 1: first person I let all of my guards down for.
Speaker 1: This is the first person I said I love you too,
Speaker 1: And this is the first person that I like, literally
Speaker 1: kept going back to, and I felt like I lost
Speaker 1: myself again, and so me even saying the L word
Speaker 1: to my new X, yes, I probably went into my
Speaker 1: last relationship with trauma that I didn't realize I had.
Speaker 1: Even with the L word, I felt like I was
Speaker 1: a delusional, dumb ass bitch when I was in love
Speaker 1: with him. Being in love is a delusional to me?
Speaker 1: Is this is all to me? Love is not delusion
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. For me, when I said
Speaker 1: that word to a man, when it was said back
Speaker 1: to me, when I look back at it now, I
Speaker 1: felt delusional. I felt stupid. I kept going back as
Speaker 1: well to him for the face of love, which is
Speaker 1: what I said on this podcast, bitch when I went
Speaker 1: back time nine, it was because well, they say that
Speaker 1: love is hard and you gotta fight for it. And
Speaker 1: all the little things about love that I thought I
Speaker 1: had to be in with him makes me feel stupid
Speaker 1: in hindsight. So maybe it's not even that it was love.
Speaker 1: Maybe I was just literally thrown over a narcissist. Maybe
Speaker 1: the self worth I thought I had didn't exist. Maybe
Speaker 1: there was still things I was getting over. But for me,
Speaker 1: what that relationship resembles now is so like choppy that
Speaker 1: no love to me, isn't that? And the way I
Speaker 1: was googly eyed for that man, the way I was
Speaker 1: able to exist with him, I literally look back now,
Speaker 1: I've talked about it in therapy and I'm like, bro,
Speaker 1: the world was ending. Do you think that you can
Speaker 1: be or that being googly can be something safe when
Speaker 1: you're with someone? I mean, and let's be honest, your
Speaker 1: most recent acts like you enjoy that company absolutely affirming,
Speaker 1: Like do you think you could ever be googly again
Speaker 1: and feel safe?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Do you think that there's safety in that? I just
Speaker 1: think I have said it now a few times my mom, my, sister, myself,
Speaker 1: and a lot of the conversations with my friends. It's
Speaker 1: a work in progress. I having it felt so safe
Speaker 1: in that relationship during the pandemic and feeling so hurt
Speaker 1: and betrayed and manipulated and gaslet and all those things.
Speaker 1: In hindsight, to me, I am still at a place
Speaker 1: where I haven't felt safety with a man. So I
Speaker 1: can't say that like I could be googly eyed and
Speaker 1: throw it over Nigga. And this again could be my
Speaker 1: defense mechanism as to why Captain hook ain't really getting
Speaker 1: the googly from me. I don't want that right now,
Speaker 1: and I don't know when I'm going to be ready
Speaker 1: to get that, but right now, especially having to navigate
Speaker 1: not wanting children, not wanting these things, and standing firm
Speaker 1: on it and finding soe that respects that, to me,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm really cool with just like enjoying like the
Speaker 1: joys of life, like my friendships, like being able to
Speaker 1: live in Atlanta out and be close to like my
Speaker 1: fucking friends, like it feels so good. And not saying
Speaker 1: that I didn't have friends in New York, but like
Speaker 1: these are my friends I've been friends with for like
Speaker 1: fifteen plus years, Like Crystal just made it to fourteen.
Speaker 1: My other friend we've been friends since tenth grade. So
Speaker 1: like these friends are like they've just known me. It
Speaker 1: just feels different. And so for me, it's that it's traveling.
Speaker 1: It's the new baby of our book. It's the new
Speaker 1: baby of selective ignorance. It's me thinking, Okay, realistically, I'm
Speaker 1: in this new city. What other things do I want
Speaker 1: to do? And so for me, a relationship doesn't seem
Speaker 1: like the work I want to do right now. And
Speaker 1: relationships are work. I said it, like yeah, and I
Speaker 1: worked with some shit. I had to make space and
Speaker 1: I don't think I had the space around the time
Speaker 1: that I broke up with Olbay. And it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's a good thing. Goun to me,
Speaker 1: my partner, and I remember he was saying the same
Speaker 1: thing to me, like damn, even like six months earlier,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, where will we be because you
Speaker 1: actually do have to make room and making room is
Speaker 1: something that like, I don't think it sucks because we
Speaker 1: could want to receive love, intimacy, whatever, But it's like
Speaker 1: timing matters if I'm just kind of prioritizing this thing.
Speaker 1: I just realized this week just with our press tour.
Speaker 1: Moh blah blah blah, whatever is going on. He was
Speaker 1: gonna come over yesterday. Yes, we just got back from
Speaker 1: a trip together. It's only in twenty four hours. He
Speaker 1: was like, miss She goes like, miss you too, come
Speaker 1: over and I was like, just heads up, I make
Speaker 1: up at ten thirty in the morning. He's like, all right, baby,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'll stay home. I'll see you at the
Speaker 1: book Sadie. And I was like, why can't you come over.
Speaker 1: He's like, we're gonna get wrapped up and shit and
Speaker 1: by the time you wake up for me and breakfast,
Speaker 1: you got makeup, Like I need to leave you alone.
Speaker 1: And I was laughing about it to myself because I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Like there is really a world of
Speaker 1: like you don't have time. Yeah, like I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't have time bucked, But it's true. I want to
Speaker 1: get fucked, but I don't have time. And this is
Speaker 1: gonna sound by the way, this is gonna sound bad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know limited vocabulary. It's gonna sound bad. Is it
Speaker 1: gonna bad or it's gonna be I don't have the
Speaker 1: time right now. This is gonna sound so bad. And
Speaker 1: I know it, but I don't know another word to use.
Speaker 1: I don't have the time right now to consider somebody
Speaker 1: else that doesn't sound okay. Well, they be fucking heavy
Speaker 1: dragging me for everything. Oh my god, I said, motherfuckers
Speaker 1: deserve the relationships, stay in and I'm getting draged, so
Speaker 1: people deserve to be killed and abuse. Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: I don't know it worth any So I missed a
Speaker 1: few texts from him, and he wrote me back and said,
Speaker 1: do you love me? I wrote him back, I said,
Speaker 1: your pages eighty eight through ninety in my book, I
Speaker 1: love you, And don't make that the clarify because there's
Speaker 1: a lot of people who ain't get mentioned in my book.
Speaker 1: You know. It was just fucking around, okay, And I said,
Speaker 1: I really am selfish right now. Sorry, and he was like,
Speaker 1: you're good, baby, like it's your week. But I think
Speaker 1: you actually do need to kind of say to someone
Speaker 1: I don't I can't consider or I don't have the
Speaker 1: capacity to be responsible right now for how you feel
Speaker 1: or how you want to be treated, because I don't
Speaker 1: have the capacity to be there for you right and
Speaker 1: I need to say that. And I think it didn't
Speaker 1: hit me. This is the first time in this relationship
Speaker 1: because when we went on the last horrible tour twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three and I were dated. Oh yeah, last year
Speaker 1: we didn't tour at all. I know last year was
Speaker 1: easy to be. That's why I was on the phone
Speaker 1: with Activating for three hours in Yare somch I ain't
Speaker 1: got the time to talk to a nigga that long
Speaker 1: now book and then he came over like bruh. So
Speaker 1: now he's like, Yo, it's cool, don't worry. And I'm
Speaker 1: appreciative of that. But you know, yes, he even hit
Speaker 1: me and said, uh, what do you need me to do?
Speaker 1: Do you want me to drive you? Like, tell me
Speaker 1: you know some health you need, like you know on
Speaker 1: this move. You want me to take you to Connecticut? You
Speaker 1: want to take you guys here. I'm like, yo, I
Speaker 1: don't even want you to feel so over exhausted from
Speaker 1: our shit. And I I was like, I guess we
Speaker 1: really do have to be a part. I gotta get
Speaker 1: this shit done. And it feels good. It's great, like
Speaker 1: you know, especially when knowing that like you have the support,
Speaker 1: but it does make you be like, oh, I gotta
Speaker 1: be selfish. But the way I want Dick and I
Speaker 1: have to tell him I'm supposed to be bleeding when
Speaker 1: I get back, so then I gotta go on another trip.
Speaker 1: It's literally like twelve days before I could even have
Speaker 1: dick again. And I'm like, damn, I gotta tell you. You
Speaker 1: can't even fuck me for the next two weeks. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Like, what the fuck? I need to tell
Speaker 1: you guys something. This was a very weird, nasty little
Speaker 1: flirt that should probably be illegal from the guy at
Speaker 1: one of the pharmacias on Lower East Side. What the fuck? Okay, So,
Speaker 1: since it's the ketchup and mustard and you just said
Speaker 1: bleeding at this point, no, at this point, decisions decisions,
Speaker 1: y'all wanted some horrible decisions content here the fuck you go? Okay,
Speaker 1: So if you want more, you can go to Patreon.
Speaker 1: This is where we do it. So I didn't realize
Speaker 1: I'll order my I ain't medicine or my birst control
Speaker 1: from one of those like subscription services that just send
Speaker 1: them to you. I don't know if it's in LA
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'm on my last pill. Today.
Speaker 1: I was worrying and I'm like, oh shit, this book
Speaker 1: pub day and I'm fucking hype. I'm like, damn it,
Speaker 1: my alarm went off. You know what? Always goes off
Speaker 1: in an interview. This fucked. I call the company. They're like, shit,
Speaker 1: we can't get to you here for seventy four hours.
Speaker 1: Now I am a little nervous because this would be
Speaker 1: my population time. Technically, I'm just scared and I'm on
Speaker 1: low estrogen. You just don't fuck right talking about you
Speaker 1: scared it Just don't fuck it. First of all, you
Speaker 1: touching look, and I was like, just easy, fixed, bro,
Speaker 1: it's not bad. It's just I don't know how if
Speaker 1: it like throws you off, well, just don't fuck God
Speaker 1: for how long till you get your ship back? And
Speaker 1: it's not even that once I take the pill, does
Speaker 1: it throw me off? I don't want inconsistencies. I heard
Speaker 1: when you're on low estro it like really only lasting
Speaker 1: your body for twenty four hours. So don't don't fuck
Speaker 1: for twenty four hours. It's not just twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: so don't fuck for four It's not that I again,
Speaker 1: does it throw my body off for like a week? Girlss,
Speaker 1: this is an emergency. Don't don't work for a week,
Speaker 1: wait till you get back regulated. No, it's not gonna
Speaker 1: work for me. So anyway, everybody trying to is your engineer.
Speaker 1: I don't appreciate this, like just lock that you're not
Speaker 1: in her common don't lock. Okay, So this happens. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do I do? So the lady on
Speaker 1: the phone goes, this is advice that's off the record.
Speaker 1: But if you prove that you have a subscription, sometimes
Speaker 1: you can go to a local pharmacy and they'll actually
Speaker 1: give you like an emergency script. Just try it. She
Speaker 1: was like, it happens most of the time for like inhalers
Speaker 1: or things that are like dire emergency insulin birth control
Speaker 1: is do they consider birth control dire because it could
Speaker 1: throw you off? So anyway, Ashes no one to Walgreens
Speaker 1: maybe then went to a local one and there was
Speaker 1: a man and he was young, maybe thirty eight. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to smile, it's just the way that he
Speaker 1: was learning to me was crazy. So he's like, how
Speaker 1: can I help you? And I was like, I know
Speaker 1: this has been on orthodox. I've never even shopped here before,
Speaker 1: but I'm your neighbor and I'm trying to get this
Speaker 1: script filled. But this first control and I'm a little worried,
Speaker 1: you know, it'll throw my cycle off or whatever. He
Speaker 1: said with these eyes. I sort of, God, you need
Speaker 1: it that fast, you need that badly. And by the
Speaker 1: way he's smiling, I know he's gonna give it to me.
Speaker 1: This sounds like a violation, like a healthcare professional hip.
Speaker 1: This is giving Tyler Perry response that's appropriate. Then I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll just do this back. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: it's not that, it's just then I'll start my cycle
Speaker 1: if I don't take it, and I just don't want
Speaker 1: it to He was like, can't have that on a
Speaker 1: summer day and I was like, no, no, no, just
Speaker 1: because we yucking it. You liked it, so see you
Speaker 1: change your faith? Nah? No, I flirted for birth control.
Speaker 1: Hold on. Wow. So right now it is ten ten am.
Speaker 1: I just left Trap Palace workout and I'm just like, bro, like,
Speaker 1: how long is this going to take? So I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just getting what you want. I was like, listen,
Speaker 1: I really need it badly because I do have plans
Speaker 1: this week and I don't want to mess anything up
Speaker 1: and I would rather be safe than sorry. He's like,
Speaker 1: I want you to be really really safe too. I
Speaker 1: don't want you to have any mishaps. He goes, but
Speaker 1: we do have condoms? Would you like condoms? And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: now you want me to say, I don't want to
Speaker 1: use kinda I want to cream by imposed to marry
Speaker 1: that's what you want. I don't think that's I think
Speaker 1: he was just giving you an alternative, like we just did. Look,
Speaker 1: we said, don't have sex. He said condoms, and now
Speaker 1: you feel I said, well, they're not guaranteed. So I
Speaker 1: was like, bro, they are ninety nine percent and which
Speaker 1: the point one swimmer? Bro? Are you kidding me right now?
Speaker 1: So I was like, please, Bro, do you hear this?
Speaker 1: Just if it's now condoms? Are you seriously want me?
Speaker 1: There's birth control? Don't how any women have gotten pregnant
Speaker 1: on birth control? I would like you shut up? I
Speaker 1: know I actually want to look up chat gibt. I
Speaker 1: think I think condoms have a better I think condoms
Speaker 1: have a better success rate. Then then Robert, no, but like,
Speaker 1: you're not on the pill right now. I just took it.
Speaker 1: Oh you gave it to me. Oh this is this
Speaker 1: is how you gave it to me. So I act
Speaker 1: he gave it to me. I said I didn't want
Speaker 1: to know condoms. He's like, all right, I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you another brand that we have here. So you said
Speaker 1: low estrogen birth control pills. Yeah, I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: be as Laurena. I think I'm on. I just want
Speaker 1: to know which one is more effective tatchipt my man
Speaker 1: be giving me all the tea. Okay, they're both effective
Speaker 1: methods because she's a cut. Okay, there's a one percent difference.
Speaker 1: Perfect use effectiveness. Condoms is ninety eight percent. The low
Speaker 1: estrogen pills are ninety nine percent.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean the pill sounds like it's a
Speaker 2: better yeah, but there's still like it's still well, you
Speaker 2: still got.
Speaker 1: The one percent that you were scared of. Hun anyway,
Speaker 1: you're just saying. So he goes to get it, and
Speaker 1: he goes, I want you to pick, So like what
Speaker 1: pick what? He's like the brand? He's like, so let
Speaker 1: me just show you. He's like, whatever's best for you.
Speaker 1: So then he puts them out in his hand like this,
Speaker 1: So I had to fucking grab it instead of putting
Speaker 1: it down on the table, and I was like, he
Speaker 1: wants to fuck me, he wants me in and around
Speaker 1: his mouth, and you know what, I just didn't want
Speaker 1: him to say no. So I was like, I'll take
Speaker 1: that one, and I like gotta tapped his wrist and
Speaker 1: he was like, that was so good. That was so good.
Speaker 1: You made that twice, bitch. Anyway, rang it up. It
Speaker 1: was forty eight dollars. I say, old, no, that's how high.
Speaker 1: It's only thirty days. That the fuck. So he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a discount if you come back
Speaker 1: to me. Never, this sounds like you cheated on man.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie this a little. This is a lot.
Speaker 1: It's Michael cheating. Should I cut this out? No, it's
Speaker 1: staying in bro executive decisions. They get show work control
Speaker 1: pills because you couldn't use condoms. Mandy. It's not about
Speaker 1: the condoms. I'm really scared to get off birth control
Speaker 1: for like a day because if I throw my ship off,
Speaker 1: do you want me to be a looney tuner this week?
Speaker 1: I'm already. I mean, birth control pills make you do
Speaker 1: that too. But if you're off off, it's just like
Speaker 1: I'm a little worried about being off. And also like
Speaker 1: the way people scare you about birth control, like you
Speaker 1: have to take it this time. You don't want to
Speaker 1: do this, like it's just too scary. And I've also
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know how deep we are into
Speaker 1: the book, but if you read my love chapter like that,
Speaker 1: ship was scary. But I don't want to. I feel
Speaker 1: I want to know when I'm pregnant. So's to pull
Speaker 1: on the vacuum, pull out, pull out, but pull out
Speaker 1: the vacuum. Thanks so much for joining us. Another episode Decisions.
Speaker 1: This is pretty all bitch ass holes on the motherfucking
Speaker 1: By the way, just so you know, this is a
Speaker 1: Celsius making me this way. This is not so real quick,
Speaker 1: by the way, this is Celsius. What happened immunity juice
Speaker 1: this morning and something else? Because I have so much
Speaker 1: anxiety that's really like, my anxiety right now is fucking
Speaker 1: off the charts and I'm pre message. I love about
Speaker 1: to come out my pussy in a day. But you know,
Speaker 1: need no, no, no, So so I talked to my mom,
Speaker 1: I talked to my friends. They say, no caffeine and bitch,
Speaker 1: you know I drink always. Is this she said, this
Speaker 1: is health This is a healthier caffeine and cofee. She
Speaker 1: said no coffee. So she said to a Celsius, it's healthier.
Speaker 1: She said no caffeine. No looker, so bitch. Also also
Speaker 1: all week I'm not drinking liquor, so like anyways, this
Speaker 1: is getna hype. So I do want to talk y'all
Speaker 1: real quick, because this was an episode of decisions decisions,
Speaker 1: and you put the assholes since the rebrand want to
Speaker 1: act like changing one motherfucking word and change who the
Speaker 1: fuck we is. Just know this is why y'all whole
Speaker 1: just got shown as a horrible decision. You changed more
Speaker 1: niggas than me. No, no, no, no, no no oh yeah,
Speaker 1: bring it back. You find eight niggas that I funck savy.
Speaker 1: You just wanted me to have one more than you,
Speaker 1: and that is crazy because I feel like you're still
Speaker 1: leaving someone else.
Speaker 2: I just want to say, your energy drink has two
Speaker 2: hundred milligrams caffeine, which is like considered a really vin
Speaker 2: same as that like.
Speaker 1: That calm down, No no, no, he died fucking a
Speaker 1: girl like that was way too young for him. No,
Speaker 1: they said that there was he consumed high energy drink
Speaker 1: or something. Bitch, I never drink high energy drinks. This
Speaker 1: is my blood pressure. Yeah, he was ald htension. He
Speaker 1: was like his fifty hard pretension talking about fat. Wasn't
Speaker 1: that bad? Damn yo RP, Jesus, I'm sorry. Like rest
Speaker 1: and pleasure the relationship you deserve, drinking the damn you
Speaker 1: women like their hell we got ship to do them
Speaker 1: bitches still big got more episodes that do you know what?
Speaker 1: More episodes we got to do more horrible decisions will
Speaker 1: say so So if you want some more horrible decisions,
Speaker 1: five dollars a month to get you a babe. That's
Speaker 1: how she says it, right, okay, baby judged bab. Five
Speaker 1: dollars say it gets you fine, gets you fucking more
Speaker 1: horrible decisions episodes. So take your eyes over to patreon
Speaker 1: dot com backslash horrible decisions, spout w H O R
Speaker 1: E and get your fucking shit bab. Okay, five dollars
Speaker 1: a month, bab, Thanks Bob, See you next week, Bed