Speaker 1: Milagu has a knowledge you want.
Speaker 2: League Books has all the knowledge you need.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have all the books that the whole wild
Speaker 3: world wanna read.
Speaker 2: Books.
Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to Malik's bookshef bringing a world together
Speaker 3: with books, culture and community.
Speaker 1: Hi, my name is Malik, your host of Malik's Bookshelf.
Speaker 1: The last week's episode was a very emotional episode for me.
Speaker 1: It's been a roller coaster of a time, full of
Speaker 1: emotions and overwhelming memories that I have for my mother.
Speaker 1: Now this episode is quite difficult for me simply because
Speaker 1: I'm still mourning and I'm still have a million things
Speaker 1: I have to do for Malak's Books as well as.
Speaker 2: The funeral for my mom. So this is a very
Speaker 2: very emotional time that I'm sharing with my podcast audience,
Speaker 2: and I just want you to know that no one
Speaker 2: is invincible. We all have weaknesses. Now I'm looking back
Speaker 2: and I reflecting on everything that's just been going on
Speaker 2: since last week, and reflecting on all these things, I
Speaker 2: realized that weddings bring people together. It increases your family,
Speaker 2: It brings joy, it brings laughter, brings happiness, it brings
Speaker 2: a whole different level of spiritual and energy and togetherness
Speaker 2: and community. I'm not finding death the same way, and
Speaker 2: death doesn't really bring people together as it should. It
Speaker 2: separates people. It divides people instead of bringing people together
Speaker 2: to celebrate the life of someone. It can also cause
Speaker 2: a division amongst people because of things. Now, some of
Speaker 2: you as listeners can relate to what I'm saying because
Speaker 2: it brings a lot of anxiety. Now, if you ain't
Speaker 2: got nothing, you ain't got nothing to worry about. But
Speaker 2: if you just got a little bit, it creates a
Speaker 2: storm of confusion. I'm telling you right now, put things
Speaker 2: in place. Put things in order to minimize this confusion.
Speaker 2: So that whatever your will is, you need to put
Speaker 2: a willing testament together and on top of that so
Speaker 2: that you won't have to go through probate. Because if
Speaker 2: you just leave a will, you're gonna end up in probate.
Speaker 2: So you need to put together a trust so that
Speaker 2: you don't have to go to probate. And you need
Speaker 2: to put everything in there, because even if you don't
Speaker 2: and you miss some things, what happens that those things
Speaker 2: end up in probate just spit your trust. So let
Speaker 2: me tell you something. You need to put things in order.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to talk about, because that's how
Speaker 2: you minimize the confusion and who gets what now. My
Speaker 2: mother was very clear on who she wanted to be
Speaker 2: her exactly. She had plenty time to put things in order,
Speaker 2: so she laid out all of these things, including her
Speaker 2: funeral arrangements. She wrote her own obituary, and she instructed
Speaker 2: certain people to do certain things. My mom was an
Speaker 2: organized person and she wanted to make these arrangements easier
Speaker 2: on everyone. But that ain't always the case, and things
Speaker 2: don't always go the way you think them are gonna go,
Speaker 2: so so put things in order. That's what I'm saying. Listen, family,
Speaker 2: this is a very very difficult time. I know for
Speaker 2: me personally, and whoever has someone that passed away, I
Speaker 2: know it is a very difficult time for you. You know,
Speaker 2: we all morning together. We might not know each other,
Speaker 2: but I tell you put things in order because we
Speaker 2: have to learn from all of the things that happen
Speaker 2: to us. Experience is the best teacher, and I know
Speaker 2: bout experiencing this, I'm making sure I put things in
Speaker 2: order because you want to minimize confusion and all the
Speaker 2: different anxiety that takes place during this time because people
Speaker 2: have expectations and expect certain things and want to know
Speaker 2: certain things. So I say this, put things in order. Now,
Speaker 2: I got a bookstore, and I'm gonna make sure our
Speaker 2: order books that to help guide people to how to
Speaker 2: put their things in order, books that talk about trust.
Speaker 2: You want to avoid that probate. Don't just write a
Speaker 2: whill up and a will. You know, it's almost like,
Speaker 2: I mean, will is sufficient in certain cases at least
Speaker 2: you are telling people who gets what, But nevertheless, things
Speaker 2: can end up the things can end up in probate
Speaker 2: as a result. The only way they'll avoid that. If
Speaker 2: you got assets and property, then you need to have
Speaker 2: a trust because the will is not sufficient. You gotta
Speaker 2: transfer your names, you gotta get titles, transfer what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: you gotta liquidate assets and so forth. Potentially not always
Speaker 2: the case. It just depends on the will and what
Speaker 2: the expectations that are written inside the wheel. But what
Speaker 2: I'm saying is if you had a will and you
Speaker 2: requiring the sell of your assets to give money to
Speaker 2: this person or that person, where you're going to probate
Speaker 2: because that is not You got to get title and
Speaker 2: you got to get a lot of things to go. Now,
Speaker 2: you got the government all all up in your business,
Speaker 2: so you want to avoid that, Go spend five hundred
Speaker 2: dollars now. I'm just I know that it was a time.
Speaker 2: It was just fire. I don't know. It just spends
Speaker 2: on problem of your asset. Go get a trust rolled up.
Speaker 2: That's I think it's very important that you put things
Speaker 2: in order.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 2: I'm experiencing a lot of things here that I don't
Speaker 2: want to go through. But all I'm saying, I'm learning
Speaker 2: from this and I missed my mom. Everything that I'm
Speaker 2: surrounded by reminds me of her. But the most important
Speaker 2: thing that remind me of her, I realize is that
Speaker 2: when I looked in a mirror, it's me. And then
Speaker 2: when I hug myself or I kiss myself, I'm kissing
Speaker 2: my mom because I'm an extension of her. And this
Speaker 2: helps me a lot now when I think of it
Speaker 2: in that way. But more than thinking of that, it's
Speaker 2: reality because it's true. The essence of her is me.
Speaker 2: How can I say she died and yet I live.
Speaker 2: We're going to celebrate her life and not her death,
Speaker 2: because she lives through me, through my brother, through my sister,
Speaker 2: through everybody that touched her. So I see her all,
Speaker 2: I gotta do a look in the mirror. Yeah, she
Speaker 2: physically no longer is here. She physically has departed. But
Speaker 2: you and I know that ain't the person. That is
Speaker 2: not the person put things in order. That's the remains,
Speaker 2: but that don't have no life in it, don't have
Speaker 2: no energy in it, don't have no power in it.
Speaker 2: You know, we are beings with energy and power. We're
Speaker 2: more than just flesh. What I'm saying that right there
Speaker 2: is not the person. The person that we love and
Speaker 2: know had energy, had power in it, had a spirit
Speaker 2: in it. That's gone. That's gone, but she's still here
Speaker 2: because we're here. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It
Speaker 2: just transformed. Well i'm here, it's transformed. She gave something
Speaker 2: to me. I'm here. I'm here, So I just got
Speaker 2: to get stronger, and I just had to take a moment.
Speaker 2: You know, this is very emotional time for me, you know,
Speaker 2: just to even gather my thoughts. It's difficult. I've been
Speaker 2: driving my car missing turns. You know, I can't remember
Speaker 2: where I where I'm going, just because this catastrophic event happened.
Speaker 2: I'm more than the loss, and yet not seeing and
Speaker 2: yet not seeing her in me and my brother and
Speaker 2: my sister. She's here, and she in us and around us.
Speaker 2: And that's how I gotta process this, so that I
Speaker 2: can overcome the loss of not seeing the physical being
Speaker 2: that she was, the beautiful person that she was, the
Speaker 2: grateful and illuminating and rating and loving and caring and
Speaker 2: magnificent and extraordinary and just a beautiful human being, a
Speaker 2: beautiful mother, a loving mother that I'm going to miss
Speaker 2: that cannot be replaced in that sense. That's gone. To
Speaker 2: be able to pick the phone up and have an
Speaker 2: illuminating conversation, it's gone, to talk about the joy in
Speaker 2: my life, and for her to experience some of those
Speaker 2: things and have joy in me talking to her, it's gone.
Speaker 2: These are some of the things that bring hardship, bring morning.
Speaker 2: So I say that you know, this is a difficult time,
Speaker 2: this is a difficult but put things in order, no
Speaker 2: matter how difficult or whatever storms that you're going through
Speaker 2: or what you're dealing with. I'm here to say, put
Speaker 2: things in order. You know, if you got asset, and
Speaker 2: then if you got nothing, you got nothing to worry about.
Speaker 2: But if you got assets, put things in order. Let
Speaker 2: me tell you something because if you want to minimize
Speaker 2: confusion and dividing your family, because during a time of morning,
Speaker 2: people come together as they should, right they should. It's
Speaker 2: easy to you know, to bring people together that are
Speaker 2: outside of your family, but the inside of your family
Speaker 2: can sometimes be divided because of these things and because
Speaker 2: of death, unlike weddings with bringing the whole family together
Speaker 2: and you enjoyed. So if you want to keep the
Speaker 2: family together, if you want to keep the peace between
Speaker 2: the family, put things in order, put things on. Now
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that I'm actually, you know, going through
Speaker 2: some of those challenges in that sense. But what I
Speaker 2: am saying, I have some confusion when it shouldn't be
Speaker 2: because she put things in order and sad things how
Speaker 2: she wanted things. But yet there's some confusion, there is
Speaker 2: some mistrust going on. There is some things what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: and it's making it more difficult and more hard. But
Speaker 2: each day it's a new day and we walk each
Speaker 2: day towards are better tomorrow. But I'm sharing my personal
Speaker 2: experience because death ain't an easy thing. It's a very
Speaker 2: very very difficult time. It's a time that I gotta
Speaker 2: go through. It's a time I gotta deal with. It's
Speaker 2: a time that all of us, if you live long enough,
Speaker 2: is going to experience. But our parents is supposed to
Speaker 2: go before we go, and sometimes that ain't the case.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of kids and youth and teens and
Speaker 2: young adults dying before their parents. And that's a hard
Speaker 2: ship and a hard eight on a parent. But there
Speaker 2: not your order. The parents. It's supposed to pass away
Speaker 2: before that children. The majority of the time that's the case.
Speaker 2: So that's that's my that's my you know podcast. I
Speaker 2: do have a interview that I'm gonna run along with
Speaker 2: this episode. Young Lady Lisa Harris wrote a book called
Speaker 2: Wanna Be. I'm gonna just share that also with this episode.
Speaker 2: But I did a good interview with it. So my
Speaker 2: interview will talk about the book. I don't need to.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to talk about what I'm going through,
Speaker 2: how I'm dealing with it. But more importantly, I'm here
Speaker 2: to tell you put things in order. That's the title
Speaker 2: of this episode. Put things in order, or the order
Speaker 2: is gonna put things to you, and that's what you
Speaker 2: don't want, So enjoy. Thank you.
Speaker 4: Today was the day or want to be reckoning with
Speaker 4: the pop culture that shapes me? Written by the new
Speaker 4: author Aisha Harris.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to ask you this most important question.
Speaker 4: Today about being getting paid to do something that you
Speaker 4: love to do, because so many people work in a
Speaker 4: field that they don't enjoy, but they're stuck.
Speaker 1: So just tell me my audience.
Speaker 4: At Beliefs Bookshelf, how does it feel to be in
Speaker 4: an industry getting paid to do something you love to do?
Speaker 5: It feels great. I feel very lucky. I realize there
Speaker 5: are a lot of people who do not have this opportunity,
Speaker 5: and I you know, it feels like work sometimes, but
Speaker 5: most of the time it doesn't. And that's that's the
Speaker 5: fun part. That's the great part.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: When did you know you want to be a writer? Uh?
Speaker 5: Probably when I was seven.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I love to write stories when I was younger, and
Speaker 5: then kind of got away from it for a little bit.
Speaker 5: But then I came back to it and I realized
Speaker 5: that's what I'm good at and also something that I
Speaker 5: really really love doing.
Speaker 4: So yeah, so many stories are here, I guess right.
Speaker 4: You know firsthand, you know it's a hard road. It's
Speaker 4: not always pay well. And it's industry I guess connected,
Speaker 4: and so it's hard to penetrate and break in. It's
Speaker 4: not a lot of I guess opportunities or positions. I
Speaker 4: don't necessarily know the statistics behind that. But why is
Speaker 4: it hard to make a living.
Speaker 5: Right because it's not valued in the same way that
Speaker 5: other industries are. Like tech, it's easy to get a
Speaker 5: job that pays a living wage or above a living wage,
Speaker 5: you know. But media, we're seeing the erosion of all
Speaker 5: of these companies that are cutting staff, and in part
Speaker 5: because people are not willing to pay for media in
Speaker 5: the same way that they're willing to pay to go
Speaker 5: see an athlete or to you know, pay for an
Speaker 5: app or whatever. So it's it's really tough, and I
Speaker 5: think that it's really important that we save our institutions.
Speaker 5: And we saved also the smaller, smaller institutions, the smaller
Speaker 5: local papers, the smaller local local publications. It's I imagine
Speaker 5: you feel similarly about bookstores, and you know, of course
Speaker 5: there's the big ones, but then we also have to
Speaker 5: support the local ones, and I think that's just very crucial.
Speaker 4: Independent bookstores matter. We're getting back to your book. We
Speaker 4: want to be reckoning with the pop culture.
Speaker 2: That shaped me.
Speaker 4: It just came out.
Speaker 1: We hosted you here today at Elik Books.
Speaker 5: And I'm so grateful for it.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Welcome, You're welcome, you walked. But I'll just tell my
Speaker 4: audience at Melik booksh'll bring in a world together with books, coaching,
Speaker 4: and community. No one could sell your book or tell
Speaker 4: us about your book better than you.
Speaker 5: If you have even the smallest interest in popular cure,
Speaker 5: if you have that one song from when you were
Speaker 5: a kid that's just lodging your brain, it just pops
Speaker 5: up for whatever reason, or you recall particularly life changing
Speaker 5: moment in a movie theater or listening to an album
Speaker 5: or watching a TV show. This book is for you.
Speaker 5: It touches on a lot of pop culture that shaped me,
Speaker 5: but also the stuff that has shaped a lot of
Speaker 5: other people. And it's nerdy, it's fun, it's personal, it's political,
Speaker 5: it is many many things. And yeah, check it out.
Speaker 4: You did get personal in that first chapter I read that,
Speaker 4: you know that was the first question today. They touched
Speaker 4: on about you learning something just significant that women should
Speaker 4: know in terms of you know their things about women.
Speaker 5: Yes, you know personal? Yes, yes, well you know what
Speaker 5: I had someone tell me that they learned about it
Speaker 5: themselves through me, and she was shocked that she hadn't
Speaker 5: thought about it either. So clearly not the only one
Speaker 5: who has had this experience in epiphany. I won't get
Speaker 5: into the details. You have to read the book, but
Speaker 5: you know it's it was a little embarrassing, but at
Speaker 5: the same time, if I could help someone else.
Speaker 4: Learn but what you know, what I got, What I
Speaker 4: got out of out of that when you were opened
Speaker 4: up and was personal about that experience. How much we
Speaker 4: learned from television and these shows versus communicating with each
Speaker 4: other and spending time talking like a mother to a daughter,
Speaker 4: or father to a daughter, or a friend to a daughter,
Speaker 4: or a neighbor to a you know.
Speaker 5: Look, I will say my mother taught me all the things.
Speaker 5: It's just that was just the one thing that she
Speaker 5: that I did not for most things I have I
Speaker 5: have to talk, yes, yes.
Speaker 4: But I think we all have been influenced by pop culture.
Speaker 2: You know, I know I have.
Speaker 4: You can't help you know, it's dominating out the world.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: In fact, I was just watching something on TV and
Speaker 4: me and my wife and it was Howard.
Speaker 1: It was a kindergarten, a kindergarden.
Speaker 4: She was like, you're ready to go to kindergarten, and
Speaker 4: her mom was walking in the school and she said,
Speaker 4: mom and kindergarten. You don't have to walk me, and
Speaker 4: mom was persistent in doing it, and then she said
Speaker 4: something like you know, pauls and then put her hand up,
Speaker 4: like you talk to your parents at that age. But
Speaker 4: it might you know, it might have been a punchline
Speaker 4: for a joke. But kids are acting out and doing
Speaker 4: those things and saying those things to their parents, and
Speaker 4: these things are written in these scripts because we are
Speaker 4: influenced what I'm saying, whether we like it or not,
Speaker 4: Every show influences us. Every video going we play in fluenda,
Speaker 4: every movie we watch, every radio song.
Speaker 1: It has it's effect.
Speaker 4: You know, to deny it is to deny all the
Speaker 4: money that these corporations spend for advertisement because they know
Speaker 4: you're watching it, so it's effective. But we drink coke,
Speaker 4: we eat popcorn, we eat snacks, So I mean it's
Speaker 4: we are influenced, and this is just the way things are.
Speaker 4: And maybe fifty it'll be a different way. But right
Speaker 4: now your book is addressing pop culture that shapes you.
Speaker 2: But more important society.
Speaker 4: So give me your final thoughts about that and where
Speaker 4: do we go from here?
Speaker 5: You know, I think that pop culture, like you said,
Speaker 5: it's just something that is a part of us, and
Speaker 5: I just want people to really think about how they
Speaker 5: consume pop culture and really take it in and not
Speaker 5: just let it happen to you, but let it, you know,
Speaker 5: let it shape how you think about things and how
Speaker 5: you interact with other people. And I also just want
Speaker 5: to get across the idea that you should treat each
Speaker 5: other better about how the things we like and the
Speaker 5: things we don't like. And that's something that you know,
Speaker 5: sometimes I've gotten into heated arguments about certain people, certain artists,
Speaker 5: and certain movies. But as long as it's civil and
Speaker 5: we are able to respect each other, I think that
Speaker 5: is the main thing that I hope people take away
Speaker 5: from the book, and hopefully we can sort of in
Speaker 5: terms of going from here and just keep being better
Speaker 5: and being better about who we are and how we
Speaker 5: consume pop culture.
Speaker 4: One more think, because you made me think of some stereotypes,
Speaker 4: because people assume, just based on a person's voice, that
Speaker 4: they might be from this.
Speaker 1: Culture or race.
Speaker 4: So just connect that popcorn stereotype, because you know, a
Speaker 4: lot of stereotypes are used in pop culture to spread
Speaker 4: for good or for bad. Yeah, so let's see him.
Speaker 1: With that question.
Speaker 5: Well, I think stereotypes are there's always a kernel of
Speaker 5: truth to them. They are they're based off of, you know,
Speaker 5: something that is real and tangible, but it is you know,
Speaker 5: they're applied to it unfairly to entire demographics. But I
Speaker 5: do think that, you know, especially now, I feel I
Speaker 5: feel hopeful actually that stereotypes, especially when it comes to
Speaker 5: black representation, have gotten better and more varied and less
Speaker 5: relied upon. And I think we're seeing way more nuances
Speaker 5: and multifacetedness of black culture and especially movies and TV shows.
Speaker 5: And I think it's you know, as long as we
Speaker 5: allow black people, especially to keep getting weird and keep
Speaker 5: getting experimental and be free in their creation of art,
Speaker 5: I think we're going to be in a good place.
Speaker 4: Well said, that was Aesha. For all the fans of
Speaker 4: Malik's bookshelf bringing the world together with books, culture and community.
Speaker 4: Thank you Aiesha Harris, and go out and buy the
Speaker 4: book because it's wherever books are sold. Want to be
Speaker 4: reckoning with the pop culture that shapes me.
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening to Malik's Bookshelf, where topics on the
Speaker 3: shelf are books, culture, and community. Be sure to subscribe
Speaker 3: and leave me a review. Check out my Instagram at
Speaker 3: Malik Books. See you next time.